02x01 - For Those That Think Young

[bunniefuu]

Sit up straight.

Heels down. Lighten your hands.

Good girl.

There we go.

Now, if you can step over here.

You're a big one.

Thank you, Lilly.

Have a seat.

So, Mr. Draper,

you haven't had a physical in quite some time.

I eat a lot of apples.

What is it with you boys?

Why does it take an insurance physical to get you in here?

What's the number?

Because that will mean something to you?

It's 160 over 100,

which is high for boys our age.

Tell me about your parents.

Living or deceased?

Dead. Both.

Ages?

My dad was 41, 42.

He d*ed in an accident,

and my mother d*ed in childbirth.

She was 22, I think.

How many drinks do you have a day?

Wine, cocktails, beer.

Everything depends on the day.

Days of plenty being?

Three.

You're a high-powered businessman with a high-tension job.

I'm trying to help you here.

Five.

And two packs a day, but you're cutting down.

Yes.

All right.

Any changes in the last year?

What do you mean?

In your health.

How do you feel when you wake up in the morning?

How do you feel?

You live too hard,

and not just at the office.

It'll hit you all at once.

Nope. No, I've been... I've been good.

All right, I'm going to write you some reserpine to bring that down

and some phenobarbital to help you relax.

You're 36 years old.

You need to take this seriously.

Buy a boat.

Breathe in.

So I wait for Becky to go play,

and I look in her pencil case.

There's almost 20 dimes.

She stopped eating lunch.

I hate the dishonesty.

You should be glad she watches what she eats.

That's the truth. She is slimming down.

Good morning, ladies.

You want to get off right here?

You can go right to your car.

No.

He's a prisoner of w*r.

Because he can't ride.

A man that age doesn't suddenly take this up.

He's 25.

Did he tell you that?

I think so.

He talks to me. He's engaged.

There's no point in being aloof.

I wouldn't know what to talk about.

Aren't you funny? Are you scandalized?

No.

Well, if you must know, we talk about you

and how Gertie has a crush on you.

She's a sadist.

I'll see you Saturday.

Don't you hate getting manure in that?

Little children. What's the difference?

Look, miss, just tell me where you want it.

I could take out the lockers and use that wall.

The break room?

Don't take away the break room.

I'm not taking away anything.

Believe me, this machine is a gift to you girls.

Happy Valentine's, girls.

How are you going to wear that around your neck?

It's much bigger than they said it was.

I think it needs an office.

Come on.

We're already doubling up. Don't do that.

My roommate works at Ernst and Ernst.

She did her birthday party invitations on this.

On colored paper.

I told you, miss, I'll try as many places as you want.

Maybe we should leave it here for the time being.

I don't care. I'm doing this.

If you think that if you start eating, we're all going to join you, you're wrong.

Look, Don's not one to stand on ceremony.

He's not going to care.

I made it. I knew Draper would be late.

I have some crackers in my desk.

So, burning the midnight oil.

S'all right.

Hope the words are good

'cause he ain't got any artwork.

You didn't have time to give it to Art?

You want to start living here?

I'm supposed to be at The Pen and Pencil by 12:30 every day.

I was promised.

Look, Freddie, the eating is the thing.

I'm sure you can have a drink.

It's an unspoken agreement.

I got you, Freddie.

Are these all the glasses, Peggy?

I don't know.

We have artwork.

Peggy, go see if we can expect Don today.

That's a good idea.

Draper's not going to yell at her.

You want to be alone with that?

I'm telling you, Draper knocked her up.

She goes away for a couple of months,

drops about 9 pounds, 8 ounces,

comes back with a job.

Don's been screwing me for the last three years.

I've got nothing.

What's everybody laughing at?

The great debate wages on about Peggy Olson's charmed career.

Fat farm.

I thought we had verification.

Do you have any idea when you'll be expecting Mr. Draper?

I was expecting him at the beginning of work today,

but then he called and said he'd be late.

He said he was going to the movies.

Pinocchio.

Thank you.

Are you insinuating something?

I wasn't doing anything, I don't think.

Well, I believe that.

I want you to imagine,

when you talk about Mr. Draper,

that he's standing right behind you.

And think about that whenever you speak of him.

Are you going to tell on me?

I didn't know. What did I do?

Do you know where Mr. Draper is?

No, I don't.

I think he was joking.

Lois, do you know where Mr. Draper is?

He's out.

Thank you, Lois.

How is it?

He wrote some of it here.

Some of it on 23rd Street, some place they tore down.

Makes you feel better about sitting in a bar at lunch.

Makes you feel like you're getting something done.

Yeah. It's all about getting things done.

Is it good?

I don't think you'd like it.

You wanted to see me?

I wanted to see that Valentine heart.

On my way out. Anything else?

I'm taking Mona to Lut?ce.

Let me hear what the living are up to.

You love her.

What happened to the Jewish doctor?

He's not Jewish.

Not anymore, but he was. Trust me.

Is he still a doctor?

You sound like a little girl.

What do you care?

I wish you every happiness.

I'm well aware this is vicarious. I already said that.

I already know what day he's going to ask me.

Does he know that?

Because I have a feeling there's a penalty for passing that date.

He knows.

Mr. Phillips here to see you.

Send him in.

Joan.

Did you girls get my candy?

Yes. It was appreciated and yet unappreciated.

Anything else?

No, thank you. That'll be all.

Got a second?

Nothing good ever started with that sentence.

It's not that. It's Martinson's Coffee.

I'm excited about the possibility of that happening,

and, as you recall,

Martinson's Coffee has a unique problem.

Good. We like that.

Well, that's just it.

No one under 25 drinks coffee anymore.

Just Pepsi.

They pour it on their Frosted Flakes.

For those who think young.

Which is why I was disappointed to see Don

put Fred Rumsen on this.

So Freddie doesn't drink coffee.

He doesn't wear a bra, either.

He managed to do a good job on Playtex.

It's frustrating not to have young people around here.

We're a young country.

The president has a baby.

Have you been out there?

It's rotten with kids.

And the cologne they wear.

Real kids. 25. Even less.

Maybe one of those teams.

The writer and the artist together.

Clients keep bringing it up.

Talk to Don about it. Just for Martinson's Coffee alone.

Can't you talk to Don about it?

I thought this was the way things were done here.

Didn't you tell me you were a bridge between Accounts and Don?

Doesn't sound like me.

Look, Don has talent.

You know how to deal with that, don't you?

Just assume that he knows

as much about business as you do,

but inside there's a child who likes getting his way.

He's not my first creative director.

This is about a sales reality and not personal territory.

It's what the clients are asking for, and we need to have it.

What's the best way to make it happen?

Mr. Draper.

Any calls?

Yes, and there was your 12:00

in the conference room.

Of course.

Well, girls can say whatever they want.

They want the chocolates.

Right, Peggy?

Of course they do.

I don't do anything. Keeps them off balance.

Hey, chief.

Sorry we're late.

I think the little ones need to eat.

What do we have? Dale, wake up.

I could just go.

Or Kinsey.

You want to go first?

Peggy.

I just wrote copy for Dale.

Well, this is kind of the gist, because I was...

Well, we were...

It just kept changing course.

"Mohawk Airlines. There's a new chief in the sky. "

And I thought, following that,

"Most routes to Boston.

Circle the wagons, we've got it surrounded. "

And there'd be wagons around a dot that says "Boston. "

I can almost picture it. Sal.

This is the first time I'm hearing it, too.

So it's about an airline that's flown by Indians?

Maybe a plane with some arrows stuck in the cargo door?

That's funny.

That's what gets people's attention now, right?

There has to be advertising

for people who don't have a sense of humor.

I understand, Don.

What else you got?

Several more Indian puns.

Stop writing for other writers.

Luxury, service.

A lot of people are afraid of turbulence,

so it's dead calm.

Look how level those drinks are.

"Wherever Mohawk takes us. "

Or, "You'll love getting there. "

What's outside that window?

- Fluffy clouds. - Research.

I get on a plane, I don't care where I'm going.

I just want to see the city disappearing behind me.

So we could take the clouds out of there and put in the city.

The Chrysler Building.

That Indian...

It's not about the majestic beauty of the Mohawk Nation.

It's about adventure.

Could be a pirate.

Could be a knight in shining armor.

Could be a conquistador getting off of a boat.

It's about a fantastical people

who are taking you someplace where you've never been.

We could dress the stew as Pocahontas.

With the cheekbones.

How's his wife going to feel about that?

Air travel's too expensive to waste on your wife.

You want to get on a plane to feel alive.

You want to get on a plane to see just the hint of a woman's thigh

because her skirt is just this much too short.

Friday?

Tomorrow.

What does that mean?

It means you want to go somewhere, go up her skirt.

That's the impression I got.

Carla, Bobby's turning blue out there.

Did somebody get a lot of valentines?

They made everybody give one to everybody else.

That defeats the purpose.

They had a party.

I see. Fruit punch?

I'm making this for Daddy.

It's beautiful.

I'll see that he gets it.

Mommy, can I do it?

Okay.

I want to go riding with you.

- You can't. - Well, why?

Well, for one thing, it's too dangerous.

No, it's not.

Do you remember what happened to the little girl in Gone With the Wind?

You are taking a bath tonight.

They say once you start drinking alone, you're an alcoholic.

I'm really trying to avoid that.

So I guess I'm helping both of us.

Cooper wants younger people.

For what purpose?

Martinson's Coffee.

Last time Freddie Rumsen had a cup of coffee,

it was one of five being poured down his throat by a cop.

Well, young campaigns don't necessarily come from young people.

The clients like it.

The clients like the thrill of young talent.

So what am I supposed to do?

Dangle a Pepsi out the window

and see if I can hook a stroller?

I have some candidates.

This smells like Accounts to me.

I had Paul Kinsey make up a list.

He had no idea he was signing his own death warrant.

You want younger people than that?

What do you want me to say?

Tell Duck clients don't understand.

Their success is related to standing out, not fitting in.

It's a fad.

Paint him a picture.

Something like one wants to be the needle in the haystack,

not a haystack.

Donald, isn't it possible that the recently weaned

have some unique perspective?

Joy, enthusiasm.

You're talking as if they're some fresh version of us.

They're not.

Young people don't know anything, especially that they're young.

Well, let me set this in a more appealing context for you.

Prove him wrong.

Happy Valentine's Day.

I love this place.

I know.

So what are we doing?

Don't worry, we will be out of here before the singer starts.

Juanita?

Betsy Hofstadt.

Look at you.

This is so nice.

Don, believe it or not, you two have met.

I don't think we have, Bets.

- Don Draper. - Hello.

A pleasure to meet you.

A pleasure.

Juanita was one of my roommates when I lived on the West Side.

We were models together.

In that horrible apartment.

Do you live in the city?

Well, I do.

Curtis is from Detroit.

Automobiles.

How are you?

I work as a decorator.

How exciting.

I have a little girl and boy.

Of course you do.

It looks like everything's going well.

My God, that stone.

That was a gift.

Give me your phone number.

Tell me how I can reach you.

Does anyone have a business card?

I do.

I would love a nice long lunch.

So nice to see you.

That is not who I thought she would end up with.

I don't think it's permanent.

Can you imagine still dating at our age?

She's a party girl, Bets.

Really?

Really.

And how do you know that?

Well?

How stupid do you think I am?

Juanita Carson.

Should I get another one here?

What are we doing?

How does room service sound?

I came prepared.

I suppose people get lonely.

And it's Valentine's Day.

Be mine for $100.

How much is it, do you think?

I told her I wanted to have hundreds of babies with you.

Wow.

Hello, lovely.

Hello.

Happy Valentine's.

That's so sweet.

I got your little note.

Well, Hildy did.

You have to be careful about just putting things in my bag.

Come on, open them. I want one.

Okay.

The round ones are coconut.

Should've got the kind where they put that chart in the box.

I spoke with Jennifer Crane.

She's expecting.

That's impossible.

Harry didn't tell me anything.

That's because he doesn't know.

She's going to surprise him tonight.

I just got so distracted.

Dinner's not for an hour.

Tweety.

There's no reason that's bad for us.

I saw this dumpy woman on Second Avenue

by the Hungarian market.

And she had her daughter pushing a stroller

with a little boy in it.

And she was round.

She was expecting another.

She was just buying fruit like it was any other day.

The daughter was pregnant.

No.

The mother.

It's this big club they're all in together.

Even her.

Well, rest assured.

She doesn't have what you have.

Jennifer Crane does.

Do you really believe that?

I guess not.

Hold on.

What's wrong?

Don, it's okay.

We've got all night.

I wish you would just tell me what to do.

We drank too much, you know.

I don't even know where I am.

You should eat something.

Hello. Yes.

This is Mr. Draper in room 804.

Yes. Can you send up some vichyssoise and a BLT on white toast?

No. Shrimp cocktail.

Two of them. Scratch that.

Two shrimp cocktails, please.

Wait a minute.

Hello.

Yeah. Do you have anything special?

Anything out of season?

This piano was designed

by Franklin Roosevelt...

Oh, leave that.

How about this?

I want a half avocado filled with crabmeat

and a rare petite filet.

Two place settings.

And if it's an American company

that you can help, I like to do that.

If it's not, just as long as it's the best.

I rather love this hall.

It has all the colors one thinks of

when one thinks of the White House...

red and white and blue and gold.

It's through this door that all the heads of state come.

And this is where the president meets them.

And here is where the Marine band plays.

They have "Ruffles and Flourishes,"

then "Hail to the Chief. "

And then there's a receiving line,

and then everyone goes in to dinner here

in the State Dining Room.

Where's her husband?

...though the table now is not set up for that many.

Are there many state dinners?

Yes, there are.

There were almost two a month last year.

This room's interesting

because it has the most architecturally unity

of any room in the White House.

It's really all 1902

when Theodore Roosevelt took the great restoration

with McKim, Mead and White.

Which of these pieces have historical associations?

There are quite a few.

You have to see this.

...Dolly Madison's sofa.

That's Nelly Custis' sofa.

No, I don't.

She was Washington's granddaughter.

I feel so strongly

that the White House should have as fine a collection.

It's so important, the setting in which

the presidency is presented to the world.

What do you think it is?

I don't know,

but I'm going to find out.

And now a word from our sponsor.

Their armoire?

I've seen them in Connecticut, but they're copies.

You know, Jackie has a real one.

In the White House?

I think so.

She seemed nervous.

Even when she saw Jack at the end.

It was like they were playing house.

That's chocolate ice cream.

Or blood.

I couldn't throw it away.

It's French.

We'll call it chocolate ice cream, and I'll work on it.

Well, I'm sorry we missed it.

No time for television.

Stop rubbing it in.

Really. A room at the Savoy?

That takes thought.

Your night sounded very romantic.

I would describe it as delightfully disappointing.

There was a time when he overdid it,

but I'll take dull and know where I stand.

I agree.

What?

I ran into this old friend.

Juanita Carson.

We were models together.

Roommates.

She was in the lounge of the Savoy.

She didn't look cheap.

Except for this 2-carat stone.

But she wasn't with a date.

She was with a companion.

I don't understand.

Don agreed with me.

He was an old man.

She's a call girl.

Really?

Butterfield 8?

I wonder what that's like.

I don't know.

New York... Manhattan... is expensive.

We forget that.

I used to look at people in restaurants with envy.

Don gave me a fur coat.

If prostitution is Don showing up with a fur coat,

sign me up.

I don't think it's like that.

I just keep picturing Juanita at 22 years old.

We shared a room.

Talked in the dark...

I know we wanted the same things.

When I was 22, whenever I was really low on money,

I would call my father and let him know that I was going to Havana.

And he would, without fail, send $25 in cash in the mail.

He wanted you to have a good time.

No. He's a degenerate gambler.

And it would always come with a list of instructions

of how to bet it.

You're kidding me.

No. And he never won because I never went.

That's criminal.

What's wrong with the conference room?

Why don't we go to my office?

Plenty of room.

Braggart.

Nope. We're sitting here.

I'm trying to figure something out.

So, Pops, we should celebrate your soon-to-be-fat wife.

Aren't you happy?

Sure. I mean, it's going to be a lot of headaches.

Things are going to change. But come on.

He's really meeting with them.

Why are they doing this?

I guess you haven't been privy to some of Duck's scoutmaster talks

about how we need younger creative.

Who said that? Did he say that?

- A few times. - Wonderful.

Look, we're in the same boat.

I'm sure he'll turn his sights on us.

No one's been promoted in Accounts since he came in.

I can't believe Donald would listen to Duck.

Well, maybe Duck made him.

Nobody makes Draper do anything.

Let me tell you, Don Draper has a rope coiled under his desk,

and it's looped around Duck's neck.

And Duck's going to run around and run around,

and then one day...

There's a meeting? Nobody told me there was a meeting.

Can we change venues?

So, I have a lot of thoughts.

How old are you?

25.

24. But that r?sum?,

that's really just two years.

18 months, without a doubt.

Right.

You're experienced, I gather.

Are you married?

That's why we're on the purpose.

He's right.

We haven't settled down yet.

So, again, you both did everything together,

and yet you get paid more.

Well, I have a writing background.

Short fiction. And I'm a citizen.

But you contribute words.

Only when it's a distance.

I'm going to ask you a question

that was always asked of me when I was on job interviews.

That is divine, man.

Have you ever been fired?

I believe you that other people have them in the hallways.

I just don't know if that's right for us.

I mean, this is an environment for clients.

We don't want to appear to be bursting at the seams.

Lois, may I speak with you?

Theresa said there was an incident yesterday.

You were crying in the break room,

which I have specifically forbidden.

I'm sorry, but Peggy...

Miss Olson.

She yelled at me.

Why would she do that?

I'm good at my job.

The next time that you come to complain...

I wasn't complaining. You wanted to talk to me.

This is why I don't allow crying in the break room.

It erodes morale.

There's a place to do that, like your apartment.

It came over me.

And I would correct your attitude towards Miss Olson.

It's unbecoming.

Yes, Joan.

Do we like this in the hallway?

I think it looks good now,

but I think it will become messy.

I agree.

Looks good.

By the way, it has Julian Koenig's fingerprints all over it.

His Master's Voice.

Also not mine.

Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Smith.

Smitty. Kurt.

We have the same last name. We don't want people to mix us up.

It must happen all the time. You two share an office?

Works best that way.

Look at this.

Gentlemen, your reputations precede you.

Duck Phillips, head of Account Services.

I get a distinct impression.

Pardon?

We'd rather people not know we were here.

If it gets out we're meeting...

- Of course not. - Yes, right.

Bye.

- I'll let him know she called. - Okay.

I like the direction you're taking.

Good.

Now that I've given you your babies and your Xerox machine,

should I throw in a couple of elephants?

I don't want there to be any excuse

when you can't bring in Martinson's Coffee.

Don't get worked up.

You know, there are other ways to think of things

than the way you think of them.

The testimonials.

I was thinking we could get younger girls.

Sixth graders.

It would mean different publications.

Do they need Clearasil that early?

- Doesn't matter. - Doesn't.

I guess we could try that.

Two more from DDB.

Even younger.

Just assume that everyone on the list you handed Roger is coming in.

You're an idiot.

I don't understand that. I'm only 22.

You don't count.

We've got to get him out of here.

Come on, Daddy.

How often do you get to celebrate getting some girl pregnant?

Campbell, you're buying.

We still have to show Mohawk to Mr. Draper.

Dale's not here.

Mr. Draper doesn't care.

Kids. What's the big deal?

Do you want to have kids?

Eventually.

Exactly.

Mr. Romano, Miss Olson.

Send them in.

Where are we?

You tell us.

"Where are you going?"

Are you going to underline the "you"?

For half the people, it will be,

"Where are you going?"

I also had "Come away with us. "

Where the hell's Dale?

He's sick.

I don't know. Sure.

Fine.

It's exactly what we talked about.

It's obvious.

I'm uninvolved.

Move this up.

What about that?

I think it's sentimental.

Peggy.

No, she's right.

Just because it has sentiment doesn't make it sentimental.

We're talking about businessmen.

Right. Businessmen who like short skirts.

Sex sells.

Says who?

Just so you know,

the people who talk that way think that monkeys can do this.

And they take all this monkey crap and just stick it in a briefcase,

completely unaware that their success

depends on something more than their shoe shine.

You are the product.

You feeling something.

That's what sells.

Not them.

Not sex.

They can't do what we do.

And they hate us for it.

"Welcome back, Daddy"?

Is that a question?

"What did you bring me, Daddy?"

You can put that in your book.

What is going on?

He's going to take it to Leon in Actuarial?

His stomach's so fat, it's now resting on his desk.

Got to feed that big brain.

He's a deal breaker.

I'm a closer.

That Cecelia?

Sits outside Fred Talbot's office?

You made that happen?

Silver tongue.

I got her three stingers.

She's a little girl.

You have to give them an excuse.

That's what I always say.

She had those panties that said "Wednesday. "

They were soaked through.

I love that.

Once the engine was running,

she wouldn't stop.

She's so straight.

You'd think that.

Take your hat off.

Is there a problem?

Damn it.

Everything okay?

You know anything about cars?

No.

Can you tell them at the Esso to send a tow truck?

Okay.

Hey, Carla.

Hi.

Hey, Daddy.

How was your day, Mr. Draper?

I am tired.

Where's Mrs. Draper?

She just went to get Sally from ballet.

Want a ride to the station?

No. I'm all right.

It's a nice night out. I enjoy the fresh air.

Good night, Bobby.

Good night.

Good night.

I don't like it.

Here. Give it to me.

I just know when the smoke starts to come out,

I have to stop.

That's true.

I got a fan belt on the truck. I could put it in for $9.00.

Hold on.

I have $3.00 and change.

I could put it on account,

send you a bill.

I don't want my husband knowing about this.

It's a new car.

He doesn't like the way I drive.

That's got nothing to do with this.

Well, it would mean the world to me.

I don't know. You know, the...

the belt's 2.55.

So there's nothing you can do for a damsel in distress?

Are we bargaining here?

Well, yes, I guess we are.

I could say no, couldn't I?

That would be a terrible disappointment.

It would be, wouldn't it?

It's not that complicated.

That's a relief.

Well, that'll do it.

Have a good night now.

I will.

Polly!

I'm here, too.

Hi, Daddy.

Hi.

Bobby conked out.

Where were you?

Mommy was late.

I got stuck talking to Marilyn Keckner in the parking lot.

Well, I was here.

Did you eat something?

I did.

Come on, show me what you learned in ballet.

Now I am quietly waiting

for the catastrophe of my personality

to seem beautiful again,

and interesting and modern.

The country is gray

and brown and white and trees.

Snows and skies of laughter are always diminishing.

Less funny, not just darker.

Not just gray.

It may be the coldest day of the year.

What does he think of that?

I mean, what do I?

And if I do,

perhaps I am myself again.