03x10 - Commodore Returns

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "Another Period"...

- Are you a bitch?
- What?

Tell these men this used to be
an illegal gambling den.

We're gonna take ya far away.

Well, I thought we were
moving product here, Blanche,

starting a drug ring, which
would spread to other asylums,

and from there trickle
down to the nation's

- poorest neighborhoods.
- You get caught in here,

you get dragged back
to the treatment room,

and you wind up like that.

My Prince Charming left a clue.

Come back, mystery lady!

Maybe you can write him
a really smart letter for me.

Of course I will help you
write that letter.

Write back saying that I want to meet

Wednesday at sunset.

This is my house now.

You live here no more.

- I've always loved you.
- I don't need you, Peepers.

What is it, Peepers?

Can't you see I'm in the middle
of my afternoon stare?

I'm very sorry, Madam. It's just...

He just let himself in,
and I couldn't stop him.

Dodo...

I've come home to die.

You're dying? Of what?

Well... ... I have acquired

an immune deficiency sickness.

Dodo, I have nowhere else to go.

Please let me die in my home.

Fine, but it's my house now.

And try not to die right there.
I just had the carpets cleaned.

Ring twice if you're about to die.

I'll fire up the incinerators.

♪ I want the money, I want the fame ♪

♪ I want the whole world
to know my name ♪

♪ This is mine, I got to get it ♪

♪ I got to get it, got, got to get it ♪

♪ "Another Period" ♪

Good little worker.

You know, Blanche, I've been
thinking about you a lot.

I think I finally figured out

why you were just giving the pills away.

I'm trying to help people.

Learned a lot on the inside.

I've learned that euchre
is boring.

I've learned that vaginas come
in a shockingly wide range

of depths and dimensions.

And I've learned that you, Mama Blanche,

have a taste for power.

What are you trying to say?

We can make some real money, Blanche.

We just need to get this stuff
out of the asylum.

The world is our vag*na, Blanche.

Let's stuff it full of dr*gs!

There's a hole
at the bottom of the gate,

where inmates' husbands
put their manhood

for conjugal visits.

We could get the dr*gs out there.

- And then you'll pass it off?
- Oh, I would,

but years of stirring thick stews

and carrying large cauldrons
of your family's waste

has given me monstrously large forearms.

They are grotesque.

We need someone with smaller arms,

a woman we can trust,

a woman who hasn't worked
a day in her life.

I've never carried anything.

I'll make the arrangements.

♪ You a freaky girl, freaky girl ♪

♪ You a freaky girl, freaky girl ♪

♪ You a freaky girl ♪

Ooh, yeah that's... you are dirty.

Oh, "bent over the well."

Oh!

So now that you are no longer in charge

of Bellacourt,
I am no longer your employee.

In light of this, I feel
it is my duty to tell you,

I hope you are really dying.

That seems unnecessarily cruel.

What I mean is I hope this...

this... this illness
is not meant to deceive

the great Dodo Bellacourt.

Oh, is that what you call her now?

The great Dodo Bellacourt? Of course.

She was born a meager
old money millionaire,

but lifted herself up by her
velvet napping slipper straps

to become an old money
multi-millionaire.

She is a champion of the Tableau Vivant,

an elephant collector,
and a charcuterie connoisseur.

She's a fan of ham, huh?

Indeed.

I didn't know that.

Actually, I don't know
much about Dodo at all.

I wish I did,

especially... ... before
I die of this terminal illness.

What would you like to know?
I can talk about her for hours.

Her name, Dodo, what's that stand for?

You were married to her for 40 years

and you do not know
what her name stands for?

Is it Do-do-do-do-do-do-do?

It is Dorothea Millicent
Quvenzhane Charles.

The quirky moniker Dodo

just captures her whimsical personality.

- Where is she from?
- Some say heaven,

others Rhode Island,

but it is not her name
or where she's from

that impresses me most.

It is her six unique scowls,

one for when her turtle soup is cold,

one for when she hears
the laughter of children,

one for when the sun is out,
one for a federal holiday,

one for foreigners, and a special scowl

for when a servant speaks
directly to her, like so.

How do you know so much about her?

I have served Lady Dodo
faithfully for many years,

and once we made love on a boat,

and once she sucked my
on a stagecoach.

Ha! Oh, Peepers, I've never
heard you make a joke.

Very funny.

But if you ever say
anything like that again,

I'll cut your throat.

I understand and accept
your mixed message, sir.

♪ Blame it on the alcohol ♪

♪ Girl, I'ma have it all ♪

I cannot wait to see the look
on Beatrice's vacuous face

when she realizes that the man
who was supposed to help her

get over Frederick is Frederick!

Beatrice.

Frederick?

Fre... Be...

- Hello.
- What are you doing here?

Did you follow me? I was here first.

Frederick, stop stalking me.

This is where I'm meeting my beloved.

I am not stalking you.

This is where I'm supposed to
meet my beloved as well.

Frederick, you have to go now.

I can't let my beloved
see me here with you.

I am not going anywhere.

I made an appointment
to meet my beloved,

and I want to be prompt.

Fine. We will wait for
our beloveds together.

Fine.

Wait a second. Beatrice...

Has it ever occurred to you
that your beloved

and my beloved...

Could show up at the exact same time

and it would be so awkward? No.

- Beloved!
- Beloved, I'm here!

- Beloved!
- Beloved, come quick!

Beloved!

Uh, Dodo......

how about those children of ours?

Lillian is a ward of the state;

Beatrice became addicted
to an X-ray machine;

and Frederick
is a national embarrassment.

Well, at least Hortense is dead.

No, she's alive and well, sadly.

- More meringue, Madam?
- No, they're too moist.

They're practically p*rn.

I know that scowl.

That's the one you do when a
servant speaks to you directly.

I didn't know
you noticed such things.

I also know your name

is Dorothea Millicent
Quvenzhane Charles.

That is my name.

Commodore, you're going to
dribble on the wainscoting.

You might as well join me
here at the table.

So, Dodo...

How are you?

Me?

Well...

I... I don't think you've ever
asked me that before.

Well...

it never seemed the right time.

Oh, I'm fine, actually.

I wish I could get closer,

but I'm afraid I'm contagious,

being so sick and all.

Oh, I thought running a drug
ring from an insane asylum

would be glamorous.

Okay, whoever's on the other side,

you better not put anything
besides money in my hand.

- Got her!
- Ah! Let go.

Help!

Ow. Help!

You can't do this! Help!

I'm a rich person!

Do you have any idea who I am?

I'm Lillian Bellacourt.

Ah, Peepers,
just the man I wanted to see.

Dying seems to agree with you, sir.

I've rarely seen you look more vital.

I'm on death's door.

What is it you want?

Do you wish to pilfer more of my notions

to ingratiate yourself to Dodo?

Why, yes, in fact.

What do you think of
this gift I got her?

It's a bag of snakes.

Most men would've chosen flowers.

Flowers die in a day.

Snakes live for 30 years!

Peepers, you seem to know
what I should say to Dodo.

I have an idea.

Does it involve drowning those snakes?

No! I want to do that thing

from that play Dodo made me see
in the late '90s,

Chryanost da Balzniak.

- Cyrano de Bergerac, sir.
- Yes, let's do that,

but less boring,
and not with rhyming couplets.

Nobody talks like that.

She is the sun on a cold winter's day,

providing no warmth,
but lighting the way.

Whoo! Oh, what is that?

No one talks like that,
unless they're a poet

who's never ever had sex.

He used my words
to get in Dodo's good graces.

Now I will use them
to let her see his two faces.

I'm free!

And all I had to do was sell
out Lillian to the orderlies.

Poor thing's memory was erased.

Nobody with Mama Blanche.

How long have we been waiting here?

- 12 days.
- 12 days?

Or an hour. I don't know.

If one of us would go inside

and have a servant read a clock to us,

- then we would know for sure.
- I'm not going.

Well, either way,
it's starting to look like

- we've been jilted.
- I know.

I was so looking forward
to kissing my beloved

and making you watch.

Frederick, I feel...

what's that thing
where your face goes like this?

I have that too!

- Frederick?
- Yes?

Do you think that maybe...

It would make us feel better
if we kissed each other?

Maybe it will.

It won't be like kissing our beloveds,

but it will be like kissing somebody.

Something about that kiss...

Really reminded me
of my beloved.

- Me too.
- Oh, Beatrice,

will you ever forgive me
for sending you to a nunnery?

- Oh, I forgot about that.
- Oh, well, that's good.

- But now I remember.
- Damn it!

But I forgive you, Frederick.

- Oh.
- Accidents happen.

Well, I should go.

There's no use standing around here.

Thank you for the feel-better kiss.

You're welcome.

Fre... Fre...

- Did you call my name?
- No.

Hm, all right.

Hey...

I used to have a ring just like that.

Well, bye, Beatrice.

I wonder whose ring this is.

It's not even fun anymore. Frederick.

It's Frederick!

Frederick is your beloved!

It's his name
on the ring!

Frederick?

We're very much alike.

Who is this masked stranger?

My Prince Charming left a clue.

I met someone special at the ball.

That's odd, because I met
a woman at the ball.

And the only clue I have is this ring.

He left it inside me.

I used to have a ring just like that.

Whose ring could this be?

It's Frederick!

Are you sure?

It's not fun anymore.

Frankly, I'm worried
my brother and sister

have debilitating brain infections.

Oh, I hope it's not catching.

I really feel like
I've been coming into my own...

lately.

Well, I got sent to the treatment room,

and it wasn't so bad.

I mean, I don't remember who I am

or why every time I cough
a pill pops out of my p*ssy,

but I'm going home!

Wherever that is.

Ah, there you are.

Are you sure you're cured?

I thought you might be a lifer in there.

Where am I? Who are you?

I came all the way out here

to do a patient transport.

The least you could be is polite.

Do you know how drunk I'd be
if it weren't for this?

It's 10:00 a.m.
I'd be blinkered to my gilders.

Now let's get you to the paddy wagon.

Wait, your accent,

it's making me feel
as though I should mistreat you,

but I have to tell you, sir,

I haven't the foggiest idea who you are.

Why, I'm Officer O'Kelly.

I'm the one that took you here.
Don't you remember?

That's just the thing.
I don't remember anything.

- I don't remember who I am.
- So let me get this straight.

You don't remember who you are,

and you don't remember where you are.

All right then, well, we should
get you home, shouldn't we?

- Home...
- Come with me, dear.

♪ We move in slow motion ♪

♪ We drinking all the potions ♪

♪ Right ♪

Dodo!

Dodo!

Two, three, four.

- I've been a fool for too long.
- I've been a fool for too long!

I've loved you
since the moment I met you.

I've loved you
since the moment I met you.

And now I want to tell you...

Now I want to tell you...

I'm not actually sick. I was lying.

I'm not actually sick. I was lying.

I am lying.

Truth be told,

I thought I could trick you
into marrying me again.

I'm sorry.

I really had fun getting to know you.

Good bye, Dodo.

Good bye, Commodore.

- Commodore...
- Yes?

That's the first time
in our entire marriage

you've told me the truth.

Oh, uh, I also brought you snakes!

S...

What a charming and long-lasting gift.

What?

- Commodore...
- Yes?

Come upstairs.

I'll be right there, darling!

Oh, Dodo...

where does one even begin?

I love the way you despise your children

and the bulging vein in your forehead

when you berate the servants.

I love your long, depleted bosoms.

But most of all, Dodo...

I love you

and all the many women that you are.

Well, I suppose you're with

the man you were always
meant to be with.

Perhaps now, he can appreciate you.

Oh, Commie!

Oh! Oh.

Okay...

Here's your kitchen, where you cook me

three squares a day, of course, usually.

And this is the other room. Two total.

Just enough for our tiny
little family, isn't it?

I live here?

Oh, well, you don't just live here.

This is where we eat,
and this is where we pray.

And, of course...

We make love here.

I make love to you?

Why would I do that?

Your face is physically ugly,

and you smell of steamed cabbage.

It's boiled cabbage, dear,

and you make love to me
with no protection,

because you're my wife.

I'm your wife?

Well, if you say so.

♪ When my dreams come true ♪

♪ I will be with you ♪

♪ And we'll be so right So right ♪

♪ Together every day ♪

No more.

♪ And night ♪

♪ When my dreams come true ♪

♪ When my dreams come true ♪

So, my name is O'Kelly,

Kerrtrussel O'Kelly.

Your name's Kerrtrussel?

- Ay.
- What's my name?

Oh, your name...

Be Garbage... Ella. Garbagella.

Like Cinderella,
but with more coffee grinds.

My name is Garbagella?

- Ain't it though?
- Hold on...

if you're my husband, where's my ring?

Uh, you hate jewelry.

You never liked it.

But you love oral sex.

That's your big thing you love.

You hate jewelry all day,
but you love a good gaggin'.

Oh, sorry!

Come. Sit next to me

on the green couch you love so much.

- Kerrtrussel...
- Hi, darling.

Why do we live here? It's so terrible.

Ay, it's not ideal,
but it needs a woman's touch.

That's right.
A woman's nice, soft touch.

Now take this, and make
everything spit-shined

to your liking.

Oh, no. Am I a servant?

No, no, you're not a servant.
You're a wife.

The job description is roughly the same,

but you'll figure it out.

Hell's bells.

Dodo!

Oh, Peepers.

Synced & Corrected by Dragoniod -
www.addic7ed.com

Stare into space.

That's what you do best.
Just stare into space.

And cry.

- Whatever you say.
- Yes, whatever I say.

That's music to my ears.

If you say so.