05x13 - Chapter Eighty-Nine: Reservoir Dogs

[bunniefuu]

[bombs exploding, machine-g*n fire]

[man] Fire! Fire!

[Jackson screaming]

Jackson!

[Jackson groaning]

[sobbing]

Hey, you're gonna be safe down here.

Jackson, I got you. Hey, look at me.

Look at me. You're gonna be okay.

Sarge...

Sergeant,

I can't feel my legs, are they there?

I can't look.

Sarge, are they there?

Are they?

[glass shattering]

[knocking]

[Jackson] Contact. Two
o'clock, meters.

Contact. Two o'clock meters.

Eric, Stand down.

[Eric grunts]

Eric, it's me, Eric. Don't sh**t

[grunting]

Okay. Okay. Shh...
You're okay. You're okay.

Nighthawk, can you hear me?

[Betty on radio] Loud
and clear, Base station.

I'm still a bumper sticker
on this shady-ass truck,

headed north.

He's approaching the
westbound turn off at Exit .

That's too far. Two more miles
and you'll be out of range.

Hold on. He's pulling over.

I'm going to park and
approach him on foot.

Betty, just please, please be careful.

[Betty] Hey.

[trucker] Didn't think
I'd come across anyone.

Yeah, I'm just taking a
break, stretching my legs.

It gets lonely out here
on the long, dark road.

You want some company,
even for a little bit?

What, in the woods?

Or maybe back in my truck?

That sounds good.

[suspenseful music plays]

Do you do this a lot?

Pick up pretty girls
on the side of the road?

[Betty chuckles]

I guess I've had my fair
share of encounters, yeah.

Uh, before we do this, uh...

I just wanna make sure
that you've got cash.

That's all I needed to hear.

[banging]

- FBI, freeze!
- Don't move.

What is this?

FBI. We're taking you
in for solicitation.

Okay, This is a mistake.

I am also with the FBI.

No, you're not, Betty.
You quit, remember?

What the hell are you doing out here?

I'm trying to catch our k*ller.
What are you doing, Glen?

I'm trying to clean
up the Lonely Highway.

By entrapping young women?

We should be helping
them, not arresting them.

God, I should have stabbed you
harder when I had the chance.

You do realize it's illegal to
impersonate an FBI agent, right?

You shouldn't have that badge or a g*n.

Hand them over.

Or should I arrest you?

[soft music playing]

[eerie music plays]

Wait. Kevin?

Compulsion, thy name
is Kevin of Finland.

Does Eric have chronic
nightmares that you know of?

Yeah, but I mean
nothing like last night.

Looks like he was living it.

What about you? Any
nightmares since the w*r?

Um, yeah, at first...

but I haven't had one in months.

I've known soldiers like Eric.

They've crossed a Rubicon,

the only way back is
with professional help.

Well, wasn't there a recovery place
that Eric was supposed to go to?

Yeah, he tried calling a bunch of times

and they kept promising him
a spot, but still nothing.

Well, don't give up.

In the meantime, I'm going
to look into something else.

What are those?

Leads I got on the DL from from one

of my former colleagues in New York.

Names of fat cats with money
burning holes in their pockets.

Potential investors.

Branching out from jewelry?

I need to start making money, Reggie.

Real money to replace all the funds that

Chad lost in his pathetic Ponzi scheme.

Funds, I'm responsible for, the snake.

So I'm getting back into
aggressive investment banking.

Don't you have to be on
Wall Street to do that?

A common misconception.

All you need is two
things. This and names.

Which means time to make it rain.

Good morning, Cheryl.

Can I help you?

No, no, no. Sweet Kevin.

The question is, can I help you?

We saw each other in the woods.

I was seeking inspiration
for my next sermon.

But what about you?

I thought you gave up
cruising after your latest

violent encounter in the steam room.

I did, for a while.

I see. Do you know
what I believe, Kevin?

I don't think you were
just looking for a hook-up.

I also think you were
looking for meaning.

Peace.

No, I'm pretty sure I was
just looking for a hook-up.

Kev-Kev...

I don't know if you've heard,

but my mother and I
recently started a ministry.

Why don't you come to a service?

You might find the
answers you're looking for.

No offense, Cheryl, but that
sounds like a classic Blossom scam.

Well, I can't speak for Mumsy, but...

for me, it's no scam.

Understand my calling
is for a higher purpose.

Since I began ministering, I
felt the best I have since...

well, since the night of
that misbegotten key party.

What's the harm in trying one service?

Okay, yeah. I'll come
just to check it out.

You're lucky it was Glen
and not the Highway k*ller.

You would have been on your own.

Well, I didn't want to lose him.

Anyways. I doubt I'll be spending
much more time on the lonely highway

now that Glen's gunning for me.

So maybe we bring the
Lonely Highway here...

to Pop's, and the Whyte Wyrm.

Go on.

The Highway k*ller is most
likely a trucker, right?

Mm.

Well, what if we offer
something to lure truckers in?

Entertainment?

Smart.

We're not going after "truckers" plural,

we're going after one
trucker in particular,

or k*ller, who is
targeting... young women.

Okay, crazy idea. Have
you ever seen Coyote Ugly?

Um, please. Can't Fight The Moonlight
is one of my karaoke go-to's.

Okay, so maybe that's what we
need to tempt our little friend.

Riverdale's very own Coyote Ugly.

And we can wire Pop's and the
Wyrm with close circuit cameras,

and we could start compiling a
database that not even the FBI has.

Tracking regulars,
running license plates.

Let's do it. Together.

We'll talk to Fangs.

Six hours.

We wait six hours to see
someone and they tell us

we haven't filled out the right forms.

Sorry, Sarge, but that's what happens
every time I go down to the VA.

[Frank] Archie, Eric,
Come into the living room.

Fellas, meet our new roommate.

[dog panting]

[gentle instrumental plays]

Where did you get this
idea from, Uncle Frank?

I've known a lot of
veterans who adopted pets.

It's a part of their transition
back to civilian life.

Helps with their anxiety,

adds structure to their day,

gives them a loyal companion.

Where'd you get him?

Got him out of the shelter downtown.

According to the vet, they
found him near a dumpster.

[Eric] They tell you
what happened to his ears?

No, they weren't sure.

Hey, Arch, didn't you have a dog last

time I was here? What was his name?

Vegas.

What happened to him?

When I enlisted, Mom took
him to Chicago with her.

He d*ed while I was overseas.

Aah, damn.

I'm sorry, Arch.

He was my best friend.

Well, maybe this little pooch
will be good for both of you.

♪ Blessed be the tie that binds ♪

♪ Our hearts in Christian love ♪

♪ The fellowship...

[Veronica] Well, let me ask you this.

Have you ever invested in an IPO before?

Because we have numerous
opportunities in the pipeline

that I'd be happy to walk you through.

Of course, Mr. Mamet.

Thank you for your time.

[disconnects call]

You win some, you lose some.

Yes, but I'm losing more
than I'm winning, Reggie.

Back in New York, when I was
the She-Wolf of Wall Street,

I had a team of working under me.

But now, I'm one broker
with no firm to back her up.

Then let's double our chances.

Let me work for you.

Reggie, you can't just start trading.

You have to understand
finance, politics...

- diplomacy.
- Really?

Because I've been
listening to you all day,

and it sounds to me like

you just need to know
how to close a sale,

like I do at my old man's used car lot.

I can close, Ronnie.

I'm a closer.

Give me a sh*t.

Okay.

It's two o'clock now.

If you can turn

one of these leads into a sale

by the time the Stock Exchange closes,

I'll cut you in.

One client?

By six o'clock?

The New York Stock exchange

closes at :,Reggie.

Clock's ticking.

[Betty] So, Fangs, we have an idea

that we would love
for you to run by Toni.

Okay.

If we want to attract
the Highway k*ller,

we have to give him
something enticing to look at.

So what do you think about
turning this place into

a full-blown Coyote Ugly-style bar?

Like the Tyra Banks movie?

- Hm-mm.
- Exactly.

Hot ladies dancing on the bar,

fully clothed, of course,

- [Fangs sighs]
- and free-flowing booze.

It would be the perfect thirst trap.

And who are the hot ladies?

[Tabitha] Us.

We are.

Yes, I'm just trying

to get a referral to a doctor.

Again, my name is

Sergeant Archie Andrews,

I'm calling on behalf of

Corporal Eric Jackson

about getting him some treatment.

I've left my number with you before,

If you could give me a call back,

that would be great.

Thank you.

[sighs in exasperation]

[Frank] How are you doing?

Thinking about Vegas?

No.

I'm thinking about Bingo.

Who's Bingo?

Uh...

He was this stray dog...

that our platoon adopted.

What happened to him?

He didn't make it..

Yeah.

We don't like talking about him much.

It's probably why Eric gets so happy

about getting this new dog...

to make up for Bingo.

Yeah,

that makes sense.

[clock ticking]

[Reggie] I want this for you,

and more importantly, you
should want this for yourself.

You're a smart guy, Bobby,

I mean, just think about what this type

of investment could
mean for your family.

I'm talking a down payment on the house,

college tuition for
your son or daughter,

vacations you deserve

but haven't been able to afford.

[inhales] You're in at a hundred?

[upbeat music plays]

[breathes] Mr. Stone,

I'm telling you, you won't regret this.

Hmm-mm.

I'll email you the paperwork.

Hm-mm.

Very good, Reginald,

you're a natural salesman.

Welcome, officially, to Pearls and Posh.

Look, Cheryl, I don't mean
to offend you or anything,

but your service
wasn't exactly my speed.

To each his own.

But there is a hole inside you

that you're trying to fill, Kevin,

and I think I know what it's about.

Fangs...

how you left things with him.

[inhales]

Breaking up with him...

especially the way I did,

is the worst thing I've done,

maybe ever.

Regret...

it haunts you.

I know because it haunts me, too.

Go to your man,

try to make amends,

say you're sorry,

ask for clemency.

Regardless of how he responds,

you'll feel better having tried.

[knock on door]

Kevin!

Hey, uh, this... this is a surprise.

Hey, Fangs.

I know we haven't talked for a while,

but I got some stuff
to get off my chest.

So I hope you'll hear me out.

For sure, of course,

uh, just right now isn't a good time.

If I don't say it now,

I'm gonna lose my nerves.

- Just, just, just...
- [Fangs sighs]

Kev...

More baguette to the rescue.

- Oh, my God.
- Kevin!

Oh, my God. Moose?

Hey, it's been a while, huh?

[Fangs] Kev, this isn't...

This isn't what it looks.

You're seeing Moose Mason?

We just... we just ran into each other.

Kev, why don't you sit down?

Have a glass of wine,
we can talk about this.

[Kevin] Yeah, no, thank you.

I've got to wake up from this nightmare

in which my ex-boyfriends
are sleeping together.

[dramatic music plays]

Kevin.

[bombs exploding, machine-g*n fire]

[Jackson groaning]

Hey, Eric,

I know you're tired,

but you gotta wait until nightfall,

and then I could carry you out of here.

Hey, we're gonna get you help,

but you gotta keep your eyes open.

[dog barks, b*mb explodes]

- [dog whines]
- [Eric groans]

[Jackson] I'm sure this is...

Is that Bingo?

- [dog barks]
- Yeah.

I'm gonna bring him back.

Where is he?

He's in the middle of no-man's land.

[mutters] That's no good.

You can't go out there, you'll get sh*t.

I can make it if I'm fast.

[b*ll*ts whizzing]

You can't go out there, Sarge, no way.

I can't just ignore him, Eric.

You'll die.

You're my only hope of getting
out of this foxhole alive.

I can get Bingo and I can bring
him back, and I can take you both.

We're in their crosshairs.

You've gotta wait them out.

I have to do it,

I can't just leave
Bingo out there to die.

[Jackson] Sarge, no, I won't let you.

[groans and thuds]

Eric, what the hell?

- Sarge, you gotta help. The dog, he's gone.
- What?

He's missing, we gotta find him.

How did he get out?

Hey, guys, it's okay,
calm down, I found him.

Where?

Come here, check it out.

[soft music playing]

[sighs]

- [door creaks]
- [Archie exhales]

[Archie] How'd he get in there?

I don't know, I guess the door was ajar.

He was looking for a place to hide.

[dog whines]

[upbeat music playing]

Mr. Preston, it's Reginald
Mantle from Pearls and Posh.

Boy, do I have an exciting
proposition for you.

Yes, Mr. Gibbs, we're smaller than
some of the New York firms,

but it means we'll work
that much harder for you.

And just to be clear,

though I want your business,
I don't need your business.

[rock music playing]

[Reggie] Look, Nolan,
there's no judgment here,

if you wanna go the
target mutual funds route.

I get it, it's safe.

But the truth is,

scared money doesn't make money.

What I'm offering you is a sure thing.

Welcome aboard, Mrs. Artemis,

you will surely be bragging to your
friends at tea time this Saturday,

speak to you very, very soon.

Okay, bye, bye.

I just closed my fifth client.

I just closed my third...
we're k*lling it, Ronnie.

We're proving ourselves to be capable,

that's for sure. But...

we need more leads to call.

I'm all tapped out of names.

Ronnie, what's my commission
for all the fish I'm catching?

Industry standard, five percent.

If I get us some fresh leads,

will you bump me to fifteen percent?

If you can really bring in new business,

ten percent.

Okay then, but there's one caveat...

the leads are from SoDale.

SoDale? What are you talking about?

The thing about SoDale is...

it doesn't exist.

It's a muddy field with no construction.

Your dad sold his investors

on a vision of something
that will never be built.

He's using the money to fund
his crazy search for palladium.

What about his investors?
Aren't they asking questions?

Constantly.

But he's always got an excuse for
why the new houses aren't finished.

So, I'm thinking...

What if we go after
my father's investors?

And get them to pull out of SoDale

and invest with us?

Reggie... you're a genius.

[chuckles]

[dog barking aggressively]

[Frank] Hey, it's okay, just
calm down. Put some pressure.

Uncle Frank, Eric,
what the hell happened?

Eric took the dog for a walk.
They ran into a bigger dog,

Our guy freaked out, Eric
tried to calm him down...

And he bit my arm...

Okay, okay, that's it, we're done.

Where are you going?

I'm calling the shelter.

Arch, please, this is all my fault...

Just give me five
minutes to clean up Eric,

and I'll explain everything.

[dog barks]

Okay, so how is a rescue
dog biting Eric your fault?

The dog that I brought home
isn't an ordinary rescue, Archie.

The woman at the shelter told
me, based on his injuries,

he was very likely part
of a dog-fighting ring.

Are you kidding?

That's happening here in Riverdale?

Apparently, they started
popping up a few years ago,

after everyone began moving away,

leaving their pets behind.

The shelter rescues as
many as they can but...

some dogs just wind up
with the wrong people.

Yeah, scumbags who pit
dogs against each other,

and then bet on which ones will
win and which ones will die.

I'll be back.

[dramatic music plays]

Mrs. Rawald, you wouldn't
have happened to invest

in SoDale LLC, by any chance?

Uh-huh, and how is that
investment doing, Mr. Barry?

Have you seen any houses in SoDale?

Have you seen any blueprints?

I'll be honest,

construction's not happening
as quickly as I'd like.

Mr. Barry, I have it
on very good authority

that there will never be a SoDale.

So...

might I suggest you withdraw
your funds from SoDale LLC,

and invest with us
here at Pearls and Posh?

You're telling me SoDale's a scam?

Can you give me a minute,

I'm just getting Hiram
lodge on the other line.

Chris Barry,

always a pleasure to hear your voice...

how's Cindy?

I'm not happy.

I have a source telling me that
I made a bad investment with you...

- [Chris] SoDale.
- Whoa!

That's absurd.

SoDale is the finest investment
you can put your money into.

In fact, you should double-down.

How does thirty percent
returns over three years sound?

He's selling me on thirty percent

at three years, Ms. Posh.

Can you match that?

How about an ROY of % at three.

And I'll throw in a glamourge
egg as a closing bonus.

But that's my final offer.

What do you say, Chris?

This is a onetime only exclusive
FOH, Friends of Hiram offer.

Thirty-five percent and a
glamourge egg. Okay, I'm in.

Thank you, Mr. Barry.

You are in good hands
here at Pearls and Posh.

Sorry Lodge, but I'm
pulling out of SoDale,

and if I don't get all my money back,

I'll be calling the
state attorney's office.

Best of luck with your venture.

To you, Ronnie.

The she-wolf of Wall Street.

[glasses clink]

So, what happens now?

We take the night off to
help Betty and Tabitha,

and then we keep doing
exactly what we're doing.

[Cheryl] Fangs with Moose, you say?

Yeah, I caught them
having wine and cheese.

Ew, that's diabolical.

Kevin, you did nothing wrong.

And you brought your sacred
truth to his profane threshold.

That alone is a victory.

Then why do I feel so forsaken?

Mm.

In godless times like these,
instead of focusing on yourself,

perhaps the only way to know true
comfort is by comforting others.

Tonight, I'm assisting Betty and Tabitha

in the most ingenious ruse to thwart

the evil goings-on of
the Lonely Highway.

Work with us on this, Kevin,
and perhaps in service,

you will find peace and meaning.

[Betty] Okay, gather
round, people. This is it.

Hopefully, it will be a big night.

We'll be checking everyone's IDs,
aka, writing down their names,

and driver's license numbers
regardless of their age.

That's after my new cameras
catch their faces coming in.

Mom, you'll be working the bar...

Keeping an eye out for
anything and everything sketchy.

As I usually do.

Hey, shouldn't Fangs be here?

Isn't he managing for Toni these days?

Yeah, but he's helping
Archie with some dog

thing tonight, so Toni
asked me to step in.

Veronica, Cheryl, Tabitha,
and I will be performing.

While we keep the truckers busy,

our stealth team of Kevin and Reggie

will be jimmying open their trailers,

inspecting their trucks, and
looking for anything suspicious.

If you find something,
I'll come check it out.

Our main goal of the night is recon.

Okay? Get names, get
licenses, and cardinal rule,

no one goes off alone
with any truckers. Okay?

Are we ready to do this?

I asked around, Archie, and it's true.

The dog fighting ring in town.

Once a month, sickos from
as far north as Montreal,

meet at that address to bet on dogs.

That's where the ringleader lives.

When's the next round of dogfights?

Not for another couple of weeks.

Enough time to loop in Sheriff Keller.

Yeah, except we're not looping
in Sheriff Keller, or my uncle.

I don't want this scumbag arrested.

I want him hurt.

Sarge, our priority is saving the dogs.

Yeah, but that doesn't mean we
can't settle up with this guy, too.

["Nothin' But A Good Time" playing]

[crowd cheering]

♪ Not a dime I can't pay my rent ♪

♪ I can barely make it through the week ♪

♪ Saturday night I wanna meet my boy ♪

♪ But right now, I
couldn't make ends meet ♪

♪ I'm always workin'
sweatin' every day ♪

♪ Gotta get a break from
that same old, same old ♪

♪ I need a chance just to get away ♪

♪ If you could hear me
think this is what I'd say ♪

♪ Don't need nothin' but a good time ♪

♪ How can I resist ♪

♪ Ain't lookin' for
nothin' but a good time ♪

♪ And it don't get better than this ♪

♪ They say I spend my
money on women and wine ♪

♪ But I couldn't tell you
where I spent last night ♪

♪ I'm really sorry
about the shape I'm in ♪

♪ I just like my fun
every now and then ♪

♪ I'm always workin',
sweatin' every day ♪

♪ Gotta get away from
that same old, same old ♪

♪ I need a chance just to get away ♪

♪ If you could hear me
think this is what I'd say ♪

♪ Don't need nothin', but a good time ♪

[telephone ringing]

♪ How can I resist? ♪

♪ Ain't lookin' for
nothin' but a good time ♪

♪ And it don't get better than this ♪

♪ You see I raise a toast to all of us ♪

♪ Who are breakin'
our backs every day ♪

♪ If wanting the good
life is such a crime ♪

♪ Lord, then, put me away

- ♪ Don't need nothin' but a good time ♪
- [vocalizing]

♪ How can I resist? ♪

♪ Ain't lookin' for
nothin' but a good time ♪

♪ And it don't get better than this ♪

[upbeat music playing in distance]

Hey, what's going on?

I'm an agent with the FBI.

We're investigating illegal contraband

being shipped down from Montreal.

I'm gonna need you to open up the back.

[instrumental music continues]

Okay, no contraband, but
can you explain the blood?

Yeah, I just did a huge meat delivery.

That's cow's blood.

And I assume you have documents
and receipts to back that up.

Yeah, in my cab.

[music crescendos and stops]

[dogs barking distantly]

You guys get the dogs, I'm going inside.

Hey Sarge, hold on.

Just do it. This isn't gonna take long.

[tense music playing]

Those your dogs outside?

Who the hell are you?

I said, are those your dogs?

Yeah. I train them.
Why? You wanna buy one?

You and me, we're gonna have
ourselves a real dog fight.

[suspenseful music playing]

[object clicking]

[grunts, groans]

You like that? Sicko.

You like getting beaten?

[Eric] Sarge, Sarge, enough.

[Archie] You can call Sheriff
Keller now, if you want.

Or the garbage man, I
don't really care which.

But if you touch one more dog,

I'm gonna dig your grave myself.

Not a complete success,
but truckers total,

with their names and
driver's license numbers.

Not a bad start to a list of
possible suspects, partner.

Hm. I'll do some background
checks on them tonight

and tomorrow night we'll do
some more dancing and recon.

No rest for the weary, huh?

[doorbell chimes]

[vehicle pulling over]

[dramatic music plays]

Hey, this is where the Wild Foxes
perform? Saw a sign on the highway.

Uh, yeah, but you missed it.

Our last call was an hour ago.

Come back tomorrow night, though.

sh**t. I was looking
for a good time tonight.

Well, what are you doing now?

[ominous music playing]

Uh, I was gonna go home,

but could be down for a
little fun, if you are.

Yeah. Hop in.

[ominous music continues]

[mobile keypad clicking]

[cell phone beeps]

[engine starts]

[cell phone beeps]

_

[music intensifying]

[music stops]

I know a motel not too far from here.

Sounds good.

So, are you just passing through town?

Actually visiting my grandmother.

She's pretty sick.

I'm getting ready to say my goodbyes.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Oh, no. It's all right.

It's a beautiful thing,
really. Watching someone pass.

Watching as the light
slowly fades from their eyes.

There's nothing like it.

You mind if I stopped to
stretch my legs and take a leak?

No, sure.

I'll be two minutes, tops.

Mm.

[draws Kn*fe]

[ominous music plays]

[yelps]

[dramatic music plays]

[mobile keypad clicking]

[phone ringing]

Tabitha, I got him.

[Tabitha] I'm on my way.
Don't do anything crazy.

[dramatic music plays]

[motor revving]

[dramatic music intensifies]

[man grunts]

[music crescendos]

[footsteps on roof]

[motor revving]

[grunting]

[motor roaring]

[grunts]

[vehicle approaching]

Betty, are you okay?

Yeah. I am.

But I need your help with him.

I'm gonna take a shower.

[door closes]

[Frank] Wild guess.

You guys went after the dog fighter.

Yeah, Sarge went berserk on him.

I wish he wouldn't have done that.

Can't say that I'm surprised, though.

Not after what happened to Bingo.

What are you talking about?

Bingo.

Your platoon dog.

Archie told me how you two were...

pinned down in a foxhole and...

and you had to sit
there and listen to...

Bingo howling and dying.

Frank, Bingo wasn't a dog.

He was a grunt, like me.

[sighs]

[shutter closing]

[Tabitha] What do we do now?

We find an out of the way
place to park the truck.

What about the guy? The k*ller?

I have a place where we
can take him and keep him.

Shouldn't we hand him over to the FBI?

Not yet.

If there is a chance
he knows where Polly is,

I want him to give up that information

at which point, we will hand him over.

Arch,

Eric told me the truth about Bingo.

You want to talk about it?

What's there to talk about, Uncle Frank?

I've been to w*r, Archie.

I know the impossible
decisions you have to make.

To hear Eric tell it,

if you had gone back for Bingo,

you and Eric probably
wouldn't have made it either.

You made a choice in the moment,

and it was the right choice.

You can't save everyone.

It feels wrong.

Everything feels wrong.

I'm trying to save this
town, but it is so...

corrupt...

broken, full of awful,
despicable people.

I mean, the lowest of
the lows, dog fighters.

Makes me think there's
nothing worth saving here.

Don't lose sight of what
you're doing, Archie.

[Cheryl] Kevin,

I heard you being summoned
to Weatherbee's office.

Were you fired on account
of your cruising ways?

No, Cheryl, actually, the opposite.

I've just been named
Teacher of the Year.

Oh, but that's incredible.

So why the forlorn face?

Is it Fangs?

Yeah.

But also it's my entire life.

Like, I love being a teacher,

but it was never supposed
to be my life's calling.

This award is a painful reminder

of all that I haven't
accomplished, okay?

I'm supposed to be in New York
writing, performing, directing.

Instead, I'm in Riverdale,
still cruising the woods.

Unlucky in love.

Being named Teacher of the Year
at a dying high school, okay?

This can't be my life.
It just it... it can't be.

I think I have an idea that might
not fix all of your problems,

but will replenish your artist's soul.

[dogs barking]

Well, what do you think?

Not everybody in Riverdale
is rotten, Archie.

Uncle Frank, how did
you guys pull this off?

Eric and I called a couple shelters.

We told 'em we had a bunch
of dogs that needed homes.

Good dogs

who maybe need a little more

attention and rehabilitation
before they can get adopted...

because of what they've been through.

Almost gives you hope again, huh?

Almost.

No, this is good. This is great.

Hey, Sarge, you think it'd
be okay if we call him Bingo?

Wouldn't be disrespectful. Would it?

No, no. Hey!

We love Bingo.

I think he'd be honored.

Brothers and sisters,

this week, I learned a
simple yet profound truth.

It is in making those around us

feel good that we ourselves
may find salvation,

comfort.

[Cheryl] Yes, comfort, my people.

Isaiah, chapter , verse one.

As a reminder of that lesson,
today's closing hymn will be

Everything is Alright from the
iconic musical Jesus Christ Superstar

and singing with me
will be our ministry's

new artistic director Kevin Keller.

[people clapping]

♪ Try not to get worried ♪

♪ Try not to turn on to
Problems that upset you, oh ♪

♪ Don't you know everything's all right ♪

♪ Yes, everything's fine ♪

♪ And we want you to sleep well tonight ♪

♪ Let the world turn
Without you tonight ♪

♪ If we try we'll get by ♪

♪ So forget all about us tonight ♪

♪ Everything's all right, yes
Everything's all right, yes ♪

♪ Sleep and I shall Soothe you ♪

♪ Calm you and anoint you ♪

♪ Myrrh for your hot forehead, oh ♪

♪ Then you'll feel
everything's all right ♪

♪ Yes, everything's fine ♪

♪ And it's cool
And the ointment's sweet ♪

♪ For the fire in
Your head and feet ♪

♪ Close your eyes, close
your eyes and relax ♪

♪ Think of nothing tonight ♪

♪ Everything's all right, yes
Everything's all right ♪

Let me start by saying I'm sorry
you had to walk in on that, Kev.

Moose and I were trying
to figure out a way

to tell you without causing a spiral.

My spiraling days are over.

Listen,

I know this may be impossible, Kev...

But I'd love for us to be friends.

We are friends, Fangs.

And if you and Moose make each
other happy, then I'm happy, too.

Seriously.

♪ Everything's all right, yes
Everything's all right ♪

♪ Sleep and I shall soothe you ♪

♪ Calm you and anoint you ♪

♪ Myrrh for your hot forehead, oh ♪

♪ Then you'll feel
everything's all right ♪

♪ Yes, everything's fine ♪

We'll be in this together, Jim.

We're both family men, wife and kids.

And I can hear it in your
voice that you want this.

So I might pass you on
to the queen of the shop,

and she's gonna tell
you why you deserve it.

Okay?

Hold on.

I think I got him. He just needs a push.

Say no more.

Mr. Nesper,

I hear you're considering
a promising opportunity,

and I just have to say,

this isn't about what you're
putting down right now.

This is about legacy.

How are you taking care
of yourself and your family

for the rest of your life and theirs?

We absolutely can and will
do that for you, Mr. Nesper.

And might I add that
Pearls and Posh is honored

to be doing business with you.

[beeps]

♪ And it's cool and
the ointment's sweet ♪

♪ For the fire in your head and feet ♪

♪ Close your eyes ♪

♪ Close your eyes and relax
Think of nothing tonight ♪

♪ Everything's all right, yes
Everything's all right, yes ♪

♪ Everything's all right, yes
Everything's all right, yes ♪

♪ Everything's all right, yes ♪

Bingo!

Bingo!

Are you there?

Answer me, private, that's an order!

Eric, what's happening? Why
isn't private Bingo answering me?

He's dead, Sarge.

Bingo is dead.

[cell phone ringing]

[gasps]

[cell phone ringing continues]

[breathing heavily]

Hello.

Yeah, this is Sergeant Andrews.

I was calling on behalf of
my friend Corporal Jackson.

- [wood creaking]
- [door creaking]

Bingo?

[suspenseful music playing]

[exhales sharply]

I think I might need help, too.