02x04 - Cardboard Jung

[bunniefuu]

♪

How was yoga? You have good stretch?

Yoga's more than just stretching.

It's lengthening, opening, extending...

Hmm. Sounds like you just
stretching what I say.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Namaste, Mr. Kim.

- You have a namaste, too.
- (CHUCKLES)

Oh! Don't forget your water bottle.

Thanks.

I don't get that.

I thought your people invented yoga.

Not yoga, though I am
surprisingly supple.

I mean the ridiculous water bottles.

Yah, I know.

Everybody sip water
like their life depend on.

When I was growing up,

we certainly didn't drink
from sterile canisters

crafted by hippies.

Yah. I had to go to well.

We drank from anywhere.
Streams, ponds, puddles.

For me, only well.

Sure, some d*ed,

but those who didn't grew stronger.

But kids are different now, huh.

All they do is look at phone
and go to washroom.

All because of stupid,
beautiful water bottles.

My God, these are salty!

- I can't feel my tongue.
- Huh.

I think there's a puddle outside.

I'll take an Evian.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

And everything was okay with the van?

Oh, yah.

Also it smell like
cigarette before we get.

(CHUCKLES) Well,
I'm glad the choir had fun.

I'll go get Jung and he can finish up.

- Thank you.
- Okay.

(SIGHS)

- SHANNON: Hey there, Mom.
- (GASPS)

What?

SHANNON: Heard the church
field trip was amazing.

Ms. Shannon, what you doing?

SHANNON: Shannon's not here right now.

It's just me, your son, Jung.

Looks just like him.

Isn't it great? (CHUCKLES)

Handy used Jung as a model
for its hiring campaign.

We're hoping to reach
all different kinds of people.

Oh. Different how?

Oh, well, not different, just diverse.

A wide range
of backgrounds, culturally.

- Too many white people?
- Essentially, yes.

Mmm.

Oh!

Jung. Not in front of your mother.

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Uh...

Just joking.

- Ah...
- (CHUCKLES)

Yeah, you hit the floor every time.

You know what?

I've thrown a lot of rags
on a lot of hooks.

So what time's Nayoung getting in?

We're picking her up after this.

Ready?

Uh, not ready for that.

They don't have wallet-size?

Isn't it hilarious?

It's so nice a picture of you.

Yeah, it's okay.

Bit of double chin.

It's a shadow.

Uh, Janet. I go put Jung in minivan.

I hope you find someone

who loves you as much as you love you.

- Ha-ha.
- I call him Perfect Jung.

Because he doesn't talk
or take off his shirt?

He doesn't take three hours
in the bathroom.

Your hate just makes me more beautiful.

I can't believe you didn't
keep one for yourself.

Are you kidding?
We've got five at our place.

- (CAR HORN HONKING)
- One's a spare.

Oppa, I want one.

What are you going to do

with a life-size
cardboard cutout of me?

But when I ask you that question,

- I'm "picking a fight"?
- (CAR HORN HONKS)

Okay!

Please keep this going.

(SIGHS)

(GASPS)

What is that?

(BOTH SPEAKING KOREAN)

What's this?

Oh, that's Jung.

They have at Handy,
for diversity hiring.

Hmm?

If you don't like, we can throw out.

No.

- If you like we can keep.
- Yah?

Hmm.

Jung really this tall?

Yah. Is life-size.

Hmm. Maybe he wearing shoes
with a big heel.

Okay, I'm going to wholesale.

- Back soon.
- Okay. See you.

Just a picture of a man.

(SCOFFS)

(INHALES DEEPLY)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

Be right back.

Eonni, you apartment is so...

I know, nice, huh?

- I mean so...
- Funky?

More different.

It's nice though, right?

No.

Oh!

I almost forget!

Present for you.

Oh, paper.

- Yay!
- No, letters.

You write to me when we is little.

I can't believe you kept these.

It's how I practice my English.

Hey, Nayoung.

Oh, Geralduh!

(CHUCKLES)

Uh, how's Waterloo?

Oh, so much work.

I like you shirt. It's new?

Oh. Uh...

No. I work at
the Bulk Boutique tonight.

So, I mean, if either of you ladies

are in the market
for some cardamom pods...

- We're not.
- Okay.

Well, let me know
where you're going later.

- Maybe I can join?
- (GASPS)

(STAMMERS) I can join.
I can definitely join.

Yes! So fun!

Oh, and Gerald said
you could use his room.

Yeah, I even topped up the waterbed

so it's, uh, ready for
your snooze cruise.

Okay, thanks "Geralduh."

Yeah, your only ports of call

will be Dreamville and Slumber City.

Um... Uh, bon voyage.

So, what we doing tonight?

Um, Jung and Kimchee
are coming over for drinks

and then I thought we could hit a club.

The night is "Nayoung."

(LAUGHING)

Kimchee's coming, too?

Yeah, you remember Kimchee?

Eonni have to read! Oh, is so funny.

"I think maybe my boob
is getting smaller."

Covered a lot of ground back then.

(GASPS) Here it is!

"Today Kimchee gave me
such a big smile.

"I thought my whole heart
was going to melt."

- What?
- "He is so tall and gorgeous.

"And he has
the cutest little earlobes."

Uh, can I see that?

Look, you draw picture
of you and Kimchee kissing.

Wow. We're really going at it.

It's true love.

I had a crush on
a lot of Jung's friends.

Don't be embarrass.

Kimchee very sweet.

You could do worse.

And maybe not better?

(DOOR OPENS)

Excuse me,

my son has something
he'd like to say to you.

Hmm. What is? You looking for job?

Uh, not quite. Ephram.

I took this from your store.

Hmm. Hmm.

Steal, hmm?

Very serious.

I'm sorry.

It's easy to steal,
but very hard to say sorry.

I forgive you,

- but don't steal again, hmm?
- Okay.

Obviously, you've got kids.

Yah. Two.

See, you got lucky this time, buddy.

- Anything else?
- Can we get some candy?

What? No. Let's go. Thanks so much.

But I did the right thing.

Yeah, because I made you.

(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)

Yeesh.

- Hi.
- Hmm. Hi.

- So, he's still here.
- Yah.

He not grow leg and walk away.

He has leg.

He still not walk, and no one move.

I not move, you not move,
so no problem.

Okay.

Okay.

Jung look short.
You cut down his shoes?

No, it's life-size.

Oh.

He is rock star.

- Uh, Bono!
- Uh, like a rolling stone.

- The Rolling Stones.
- No, but one guy.

- A Nobel Prize winner.
- Albert Einstein!

(CHUCKLING)

Uh...

Janet loves you!

No, I don't.

- Yes, you do.
- No.

- What, you love Bob Dylan.
- Bob Dylan!

- Yes!
- Yeah!

Yes, I used to like Bob Dylan.
A long, long time ago.

Okay.

Who wants more drink?

- Bob Dylan.
- I'll help.

What's this?

Huh.

That's Janet's handwriting.

(WHISPERS) Oh, snap.

David Ko tried to kiss her at church

and she kicked him in the nuts.

I remember that. He was on the
floor for, like, minutes.

(LAUGHS) She brought him an ice pack

and he tried to kiss her again.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

My boy doesn't learn.

- Janet. Those are hilarious.
- Oh, no.

KIMCHEE: Uh, I admire your passion,

but there's gotta be a better way

for you to tell a guy how you feel.

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
It was just a crush.

This is why I didn't want you to know.

I knew you'd make a big deal of it.

What are you talking about?

Hmm? I don't know.
What are you talking about?

David Ko, you kicked him
in the nuts at church.

Oh!

Right. I did.

Okay, so who's next?

Back up. Why would
I make a deal out of it?

Someone got a crush on me?

Okay, it's... Nayoung.

I knew it.

Really?

Why you gotta say it like that?

I got the hair, the shoes,
sophistication up the butt.

It's so not a big deal.

She's probably over it already, and...

(WHISPERS) I promised
not to say anything,

so just let it go, okay?

Yeah, you don't want to
end up like David Ko.

Why? I heard he just bought a cottage.

Sweet.

He look so good,
I almost forget Jung is fake.

Superficial maybe, but not fake.

No. Cardboard Jung, downstairs.

Oh, right.

Appa is take care now.

Always dusting him, like real son.

I never dusted my son.

I think this help.

Baby step.

How long has it been since he left?

Almost nine year now.

When Jung was little,
Appa love him so much.

Used to take him to
playground all the time.

Well, Jung is the first
fruit of his loins.

Yeah, but then the teenage year.

Jung always getting in trouble.

One day, police bring Jung home.

After that, Jung and
Appa have a big fight.

Jung run away.

I'm sorry. I didn't realize.

Mr. Mehta doesn't talk
to Shibani, our daughter.

Men can be so prideful.

Maybe you should get
cutout of your daughter.

Maybe I get cutout of Mr. Mehta.

Hey.

(YAWNING) How was it?

Uh, a little crazy but fun.

Oh, sorry. I didn't see
your text till after.

It's okay. I wasn't feeling great.

(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

Two pounds of yogurt pretzels
is a lot to eat in one shift.

Mmm.

Oh, crap. We're supposed to be
at brunch in half an hour.

You're welcome to come.

Sure, I could eat.
Just not yogurt pretzels.

Hey, it's : .

Brunch is at noon.

Nayoung?

She's not here.

You mean, I slept out here for nothing?

(SIGHS)

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

(SIGHS)

What?

Nayoung didn't come home last night.

I thought she left with you.

Oh, I met someone
and we were kind of vibin'.

So you don't know what happened to her?

She was with Kimchee.
I'm sure it's fine.

- I'm just worried.
- (SIGHS)

All right, I'll ask.

It's Nayoung.

She's probably just out
taking selfies with strangers.

(KNOCKS)

Hey, Kimch. Have you seen...

Whoa.

Did you see her?

Little bit of her,
a whole lot of Kimchee.

I'm just saying it's weird.

I would've never
pictured them together.

I can't stop picturing them together.

- It's unnerving.
- And weird.

Kimchee just doesn't seem
like Nayoung's type, you know?

And I slept on the couch

so she could have the waterbed.

And not even a text?

I'll say it. It's inconsiderate.

Who am I to judge?

Two consenting adults.

They can do what they want.

- But weird, right?
- Totally.

Hair of the dog?

I bet they drank too much

and can't even remember what happened.

They're probably
so embarrassed right now.

Maybe.

I might get the Big Scrambler
with extra cheese.

She can't even make a clean getaway.

Eat away the pain.

She's got to sit through
brunch with everyone.

She must be kicking herself.

I'm an attractive guy, right?

Sure.

Don't you think this
whole thing is just a bit...

- Weird?
- Thank you. You get it.

Yeobo, I can't find Jung.

Come. I make tea.

Oh, no time. Store is still...

What's happen?

Oh, I bring him upstairs,
so we can have snack together.

What? No. We have work to do.

Yeobo, it's just one
cup of tea. We talk.

Jung is for selling, not talking.

Your Eomma is going crazy.

(SIGHS)

KIMCHEE: Whatever you do,
don't cross this line.

Which line? This line? Or this line?

Watch it, Korea, that's an act of w*r.

Don't you think this is weird?

Eh, it's a little weird,
but they also seem happy.

(NAYOUNG GIGGLING)

Get a room, you two.

- Too late.
- Oh! (GIGGLES)

Okay, is it just me or is
the food taking forever?

We just ordered.

Everything okay?

Well, actually, no.

You didn't come home
last night, I was worried

and no one seems to care.

I don't mean to make
you ugly mad, Eonni.

It's okay. Everything worked out.

GERALD: Yeah, I mean,
who would've thought

you would've ended up
with Kimchee, right?

And not anyone else here that,
like, you're not related to?

I couldn't help Kimchee cute earlobe.

Right, Eonni?

JUNG: What?

I... I don't know what
she's talking about.

- Yah, from...
- Just drop it!

I mean, yeah, that is a funny story.

Did I not tell you guys?

Oh. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

Nayoung found something in the letters

I wrote as a kid.

You still have a crush on Kimchee.

No!

Mine was a long time ago.
I was a stupid kid.

You used to be tall.

How did I not know this?

- I was tall for my age.
- No, the crush.

(SIGHS)

(SOBBING) I'm so sorry, Eonni!

KIMCHEE: It's okay.

Maybe we should stop having
"together-fun time."

For Janet.

I'm fine with your "together-fun time."

Maybe not at the table...

And if we're voicing our concerns...

We're not.

I'm sorry I said anything.
Maybe I should just go.

Have brunch, enjoy yourselves.

I will see you back at the apartment.

Mmm.

Hello, Ms. Michelle.

- Hey, Mr. Kim.
- Hmm.

Good price, huh?
My son tell you about this?

- Who?
- My son, Jung. Outside.

No, I didn't speak to anyone outside.

Cardboard cutout. Hmm?
Advertise big sale.

Oh.

Right. Nice.

Okay, see you.

(MUFFLED THUDS)

Stop!

(EXCLAIMS)

Stop!

That's my son!

Give to me back my son!

sh*t.

Leave it.

Yah, you better run!

I see you near my store again...

(SIGHS)

Oh, Jung.

(GRUNTS)

Okay.

Take you back to home.

This is not a good sign.

Someone should go get Janet.

Yeah, Gerald,
you're her roommate, you go.

I was thinking she could use
some family right now, hmm?

Or the guy she has a crush on.

Had.

I go.

Hey. I forgot my bag.

And I see the food is here,
so I'm just going to sit down.

Have my food, I don't deserve.

No, it's fine.

Everybody, just eat.

Okay, go ahead, make fun.

What? You were a kid.

I was your brother's friend.
No big deal.

Definitely.

Kind of cute that you saw me
that way, though.

I did. But I don't.

You don't know what you're missing.

I know how to show a girl a good time.

She knows how to show
herself a good time.

(GIGGLING)

Ugh. You want my bacon?

Now you're just
throwing yourself at me.

Dude, if you want bacon, order bacon!

Nah, I'm good.

(SIGHS)

What happened?

Jung get in fight selling peach.

How he get in fight?
He is just cardboard.

Teenage kid pick on him, punch him,

try to drag him away.

I try to save, but, uh,
I run out of duct tape.

You do your best.

But I don't want Frankenstein Jung.

I want real Jung.

I know.

And, uh, maybe you are not ready...

But I am.

Okay. Okay.

But this one is... Throw out.

This hurt me more than it hurt you.

Okay, maybe not more.

Thank you, Janet.
This weekend is so fun time.

Yeah, it was pretty fun.

Hmm. I thought it was just okay.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Oh. You expecting anyone?

Is my friend, Thomas.

(GASPS AND EXCLAIMS)

Hi.

Oh, Janet, this Thomas.
Thomas, this Gerald.

I'll take this down to the car?

Yes, please.

(NAYOUNG GIGGLES)

So, what's going on?

Thomas is, how you say,
Waterloo friend.

And Kimchee...

Toronto friend?

You understand!

Is it possible you might have
too many friends?

No.

Okay, bye!

See you!

Bye, Nayoung.

Well, there you go.

What?

You kidding me?

Guy looks just like me.

Okay.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)