02x06 - Resting Place

Episode transcripts for the 2016 TV show "Kim's Convenience". Aired October 2016 - current.*
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"Kim's Convenience" is the funny, heartfelt story of The Kims, a Korean-Canadian family, running a convenience store in Toronto's Regent Park.
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02x06 - Resting Place

Post by bunniefuu »

You have to give me the number
of your window washer.

Yeah. He's very good.
And very good price.

Your windows will be
the death of many a bird.

(DOORBELL JINGLES)

- All done, Mr. Kim.
- Ah!

Great job.

Mmm? Yeah.

You not have trouble with window bar?

No. I rigged up a special
squeegee just for you.

Mmm. Good.

(APPA CHUCKLES)

See, what I did was,
I took an old squeegee,

then epoxied it
to a ball joint on a pole,

that way I can really
get in there, you know.

Okay. See you.

(APPA CHUCKLES)

Okay. (CHUCKLES)

You know, he was waiting for a tip.

Why I tip?

You said he did a great job.

Yeah, that's why I pay.

He wants more money, he charge more.

That's not how society works.

Take my restaurant, for example.

I pay my waiters an unlivable wage.

It's unlivable!

But they get their tips,
and somehow they survive.

Yeah, that's a problem nowadays.

Everybody wants a tip.

Taxi driver wants a tip.
Pizza delivery wants a tip.

What's next? Astronaut wants a tip?

You know they drink their own urine.

Keep the change.

Okay. Thank you! (CHUCKLES)

(DOORBELL JINGLES)

What?

My boss pay me unlivable wage, too.

(LOUD THUMP)

And so it begins.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(CHURCH BELL RINGS)

(CROW CAWS)

(WOMAN SIGHS)

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

That was a most beautiful service.

Thank you.

So sad for Mrs. Ko.

Yeah, she love her husband very much.

But at , he lived a good life.

And he is in good resting place.

Mmm-hmm.

Not best resting place,
but still very good.

What is more important
is where he's going.

Yeah. We are lucky. And smart.

We buy good spot here long time ago.

- Come, see.
- No.

Yeobo, today is not our day.

Today is Mrs. Ko's day.

And I should probably
be getting back to the family.

Or they can wait.
They're not going anywhere.

- Oh... Come, come.
- But...

(APPA GROANS)

(UMMA EXCLAIMS IN KOREAN)

PASTOR NINA: It is a beautiful spot.

UMMA: Perfect spot.

Close to church, surround by friend.

One day, this will be our home.

- But not today.
- (ALL CHUCKLE)

Also, we have
a very expensive brass plaque.

Good deal. Two for one.

PASTOR NINA: That's great.

No one loves saving more than Jesus.

- Ah!
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)

"Kim Sang Il," and...

Oh, is Lois Johnson your English name?

Why my plaque say "Lois Johnson"?

- I don't know.
- Who is Lois Johnson?

And why she have my resting place?

I know a Lois Martin.

But I don't think
that's helpful right now.

What technique!
Two at a time, b*tches.

Two at a time.

- Two at a time!
- Two at a time!

I don't get it.

You kidding me, T-Bag?

You've never seen Blood and Bone?

It's only the coolest
martial arts movie, ever.

"Your man as good as he says he is?"

"Double or nothing."

- (KIMCHEE GRUNTS)
- All right.

(GROANS)

- (LAUGHS)
- KIMCHEE: Whoa!

- I said, "Double or nothing."
- Okay.

That all you...

(GROANS)

TERENCE: Whoo! Yeah!

Now do the Dirty Dancing lift.

- Dude, you okay?
- Yeah. Fine.

You sure? You landed pretty hard.

No, I'm good. Just lost my footing.

No, you were pretty steady.

Well, until Kimchee flipped you.

I filmed it. Check it out.

Sweet.

TERENCE: Oh, I'm calling my mom.

Hi, Mom. Can't talk right now.

I'm just recording a fight at work.

How they can sell my resting place?

Yeah. Crazy.

We go to cemetery manager right now.

You play bad cop, I play worse cop.

Yeah, okay, we will. Ha.

But first, funny story.

Uh, you remember summer of ' ?

So hot. Huh? (CHUCKLES)

Jung was six, he got heat rash.

We think he has chicken pox.

Chicken pox is very scary disease.

Then walk-in cooler break down,

but everybody still wants
a pop and Gatorade.

Watermelon flavor
was very popular then.

It's too sweet for me.

What did you do?

I sell resting place to get money

to fix cooler and to save family.

You're welcome.

You sell my resting place?

I was going to buy back.

But then Janet is born,
and we need a stroller.

Then the roof leaked and I fix roof.

- Then I fall through roof...
- You never tell me!

Yeah! I fall through
almost two floors.

Why you sell my resting place?

I tried to sell both.

But only yours sell.

Also, I thinking,

if you die first, you not know,

so we don't have a big fight.

And if you die first?

Then I is dead.

And you is too sad for big fight.

Win-win.

Lose-lose.

So? Did you love it?

I'm sorry, but that is not my Archie.

Your Archie?

Yeah, Archie is supposed to be
this lovable freckle-face.

He's not supposed to be
all brooding angles.

And those abs? Come on.

No one has abs like that.

Yeah. Ridiculous.

So do you wanna watch another one?

No, you go ahead. I'm b*at.

Okay. Good night.

(MUSIC PLAYING FROM LAPTOP)

(CELL PHONE BEEPS)

Janet, your phone.

You got a message.

- (JANET MOANING)
- (MECHANICAL WHIRRING)

(MUSIC VOLUME INCREASES)

- JANET: Morning.
- Hey.

Mmm. Oh.

Oh, God. Mmm.

So good.

Mmm.

(STAMMERING)
I'm going to leave for school.

With the orange juice?

Right.

Give me a few minutes
and I'll walk with you.

(STAMMERING) Okay, but...

(SIGHS)

- (MECHANICAL WHIRRING)
- (JANET MOANS)

I'm just gonna... Bye.

(MOANING CONTINUES)

- Gerald?
- (DOOR CLOSES)

(ALL LAUGHING)

- He looks so dumb.
- Play it again.

Oh!

Hey. Don't you guys have work to do?

- Not really.
- You wanna see?

No, Terence, I don't.

And you would never have flipped me,

if I'd been on my game.

- Are you still on that?
- You flipped him?

It's no big deal.
But yeah. I totally did.

Oh, I gotta see that.

Wait, so, what are you watching?

Dog eating a lemon.

It's so sour,
but he can't stop licking it.

- SAGE: Show me the flip.
- It was a fluke.

Okay, if you say so, bro.

I do say so, bro.

- Are you serious?
- I got it.

No videos at work, Terence.

And clean up these counters.
They're an embarrassment.

Now, why you putting dip over there,

where customer can't find?

It's "chip and dip."
They belong together.

So, this one you want together,

side by side, forever and ever?

It just me you throw away
like old garbage?

- (APPA SIGHS)
- What did you do now?

How you know I do something?

Maybe Umma do something this time.

Your Appa want to lie down
next to other woman.

- Appa?
- Not now. When I die.

Ew!

Appa sell my resting place
in cemetery.

Oh.

Now cemetery is full
and perfect place is gone,

because Appa want to sell
watermelon Gatorade!

Not just watermelon, many flavour.

Strawberry, lemon, blue...

(SIGHS) Okay, okay,
I make big mistake.

But now I fix.

Umma take my resting place.

And you row boat to middle of lake

and push me over.

Plop!

You want me to drown you in the lake?

No, not drowning, I'm already die.

You just have to drag my body
to boat and... Plop!

See? I solve the problem.

- You just make problem.
- (DOORBELL JINGLES)

You pollute lake with your dead body

and we still not together!

So, we sell other grave

and throw your body into lake, too.

I don't want a resting place in lake!

(DOORBELL JINGLES)

You guys know the store's open, right?

You buy resting place back

so we can be together

forever and ever in eternal happiness.

(SCOFFS)

(GRUNTS)

k*ll me now.

Plop.

(CRASHES)

_ _

Okay, Janet, we're going.

JANET: Are you okay, Appa?

- My neck. Very tight.
- JANET: Me, too.

But I've been using the neck massager.

Yeah, I should do massagee-kigae.

You don't deserve massagee-kigae.

You make me sleep on couch

and I don't deserve massagee-kigae?

No.

- Okay, bye, Janet.
- Okay.

- Hey.
- GERALD: Hey. Oh.

Hi, Mrs. Kim. Mr. Kim.

- Gerald.
- You look terrible.

Thank you.

UMMA: Are you getting enough sleep?

Not lately. No.

APPA: Maybe he is sleeping
on the couch.

You know what help
you relax and feel good?

Massagee-kigae. Janet is doing.

A lot lately.

I pretty much need it
to fall asleep now.

Okay.

UMMA: Where you going?

APPA: I go upstairs to massagee-kigae.

No time! You take too long.

- I do fast one.
- UMMA: We have to go.

This is all you fault.

I don't have to massagee-kigae so bad

if you don't kick me out of bed.

Here, take cream and do in car.

I help you.

APPA: Your hand is too cold
and you squeeze it too hard.

(GROANS)

Did you want use the bathroom
before we...

No, not at all.

APPA: So like I say, Mrs. Johnson,

my wife is pregnant,
walk-in cooler break...

That's quite a story.

Now, would you be so kind
as to get Arthur's medication?

And have you found out

who stole Lois' walking sticks?

No. No. We don't work here.

His shoes say you do.

I know a nurse's shoe when I see one.

No, just comfortable.

You try standing for -hour day.

- I can't stand.
- Not without her sticks.

Mrs. Johnson,
we own convenience store.

We work together
side by side whole life.

And when we die,

we want to rest together
side by side, too.

How sweet.

We want to buy your plot

because it's next to one we have.

I see.

You believe that soul mates
should be buried together.

Yeah.

I cannot disagree.

I know this isn't what
you came here for,

but I think it may solve your problem.

What you saying?

I would like to buy your plot,

so that Arthur and I
can be buried together.

ARTHUR: Oh, Lois.

Of course I'll pay you
very generously.

No, no, no, we're not interest...

How generously?

And my cousin got us in for free

'cause he knows a guy.

Hey, lunch buddies.
Got room for one more?

KIMCHEE: Sure.

SAGE: Wow. That looks super healthy.

Yeah, it is.

Part of my new clean eating plan.

Do you ever dip your fries
in mayo? It's so good.

Very European.

- Need some help with that?
- SHANNON: Yeah.

I got it, I got it.

Oh. Thanks.

(CHUCKLES)

Hey, see if you can flip it open.

(CHUCKLES AND GROANS)

Maybe run it under hot water?

I think it's cold water.

Try tapping it with a Kn*fe.

Oh, he don't need no Kn*fe. It's Jung.

Is there honey in this thing?

Sometimes if there's honey,

it kind of glues
the whole thing together.

- My hands are slippery.
- Maybe you're just nervous.

Maybe it's because I moisturize.

You know what, I'm not even
that hungry anymore.


I'm just enjoying
the smell of the fries.

(GROANS)

- (SLURPS)
- (JUNG SIGHS)

You know what,
I'm gonna wipe my hands.

(JAR OPENS)

SHANNON: Oh, thank you.

Who opened it?

It doesn't matter who did what,

or how fast it popped right open.

The important thing is
I'm having lunch.

Do you just wanna share everything?
Might as well.

Oops.

I dropped my keys.

I'm just heading
into the kitchen right now.

And...

Oh.

Hey.

I'm not interrupting anything?

What?

I just thought that after
a long day you might

be unwinding or...

Why are you being so weird?

Uh...

Okay, I don't know
if it's a cultural thing,

maybe your family
is just really open about it,

but I think we need

to establish some boundaries
around self

exploration.

What are you talking about?

I think if we are gonna
massagee-kigae ourselves,

we should wait until the other
person isn't home.

If the person is home,

then definitely stifle
the massagee-kigae -ing.

What do you think massagee-kigae is?

Um...

Massaging your kigae?

Oh, my God, Gerald!

This is a massagee-kigae!

I'm not going to lie.
I find that very intimidating.

It's a neck massager.

Oh! Um...

Never mind.

(CHUCKLING)

I feel stupid.

No, don't.

In theory, it could have been
what you thought.

I mean, we're both adults.

Yeah, we're both mature.

- And that's just a normal...
- Thing.

Yeah.

Fun fact. Self-pleasuring
helps prevent prostate cancer.

Not that that's the only
reason one might do it...

No, absolutely.

Boredom, procrastination,

once actually just 'cause
I was hungry,

but it didn't really help.

Can we talk about something else?

Not while you're holding that.

Yeah, I'll put it away.

Hey, mister. Is everything okay?

Yeah. It's good.

Just seems like
you've been in here all day.

Haven't seen you out and about
with the rest of the g*ng.

- Just workin'. Catchin' up.
- Okay.

I'll leave you to it.

JUNG: It's just...

(SCOFFS) It's stupid.
You've probably heard.

About...

Kimchee and I, goofin'
around the other day.

Flipping each other.

Well, he flipped me.

Oh, my God. Are you all right?

Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm fine.

Okay. Good.

But then I was worried
that everyone thought...

'Cause they were all laughing
at the video.

Oh, of Kimchee flipping you?

- No, a dog eating a lemon.
- Oh. (CHUCKLING)

I've seen that. It's so funny.

Anyway, I thought they were
watching a video

of me, so I got mad at them.

And then there was the whole
thing with the mason jar...

Oh, when Sage opened it?

Sage opened it?

So you're upset because
you got into a play fight

with Kimchee, where he flipped you,

but you didn't get hurt,

and then nobody laughed at you?

You left out the part about the jar.

Yeah.

- It's just...
- I really have to pee.

I came in here to be nice,

I didn't know this was going
to be a whole thing.

- Go, go.
- Thank you.

(MUMBLING)

I think we should take Ms. Lois offer.

It's lots of money.

I want to be buried in our cemetery.

Together. End of story.

But we not buried together
unless we sell.

And whatever cemetery we in,
become our cemetery.

Because we is together, side by side.

Okay, that got me right here.

- I'm sorry for intruding.
- Then don't.

Okay, I'll be over here.

What you think?

We can buy new plot,

and still have money to enjoy now.

On new golf club. Or sewing machine.

Or new golf club.

ENRIQUE: ♪ Vacation

♪ Vacation

- You understand him?
- I have no idea.

Take her on vacation.

She don't want vacation.

You want vacation?

No.

Never been to Italy.

You want to go?

Oh, I don't know.
Never really think about.

What we even do?

Maybe five day in Venice,

coffee in St. Mark's Square,
overnight in Siena,

then drive down Amalfi Coast
in convertible.

APPA: Hmm.

I feel like you think about this.

Maybe just a little bit.

We go.

- (SPEAKS IN KOREAN)
- Mmm!

- (UMMA GASPS)
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)

Hey, Kimch.

You come here to loosen all the jars?

I came to apologize.
I'm pretty sure I was an ass.

You were. A big one.

So we good?

Bring it in.

Thanks, man.

But we both know
under normal circumstances,

I would've flipped you.

Interesting.

Would you say

these circumstances
are normal enough for you?

(BOTH GRUNTING)

You can't flip me.

Low center of gravity.
Short guy's secret w*apon.

Can't flip you 'cause you're
wrapped around my thigh.

Oh!

Okay.

- Had enough?
- No.

Looks like you guys are
working it out. That's good.

- Let go of me.
- Let go of my leg.

I'll leave you to it.

KIMCHEE: Come on!

Hello?

Oh!

Hello, Mrs. Kim, Mr. Kim,
so good of you to come by.

We have news.

We want to sell Lois our plot.

Oh.

You obviously haven't heard.

Lois passed away last night.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

We are very sorry for your loss.

Thank you.

And I'm glad you've decided to sell.

I intend to honor Lois' wishes.

Now my retirement income is a
lot more modest than Lois' was.

And she never did get around
to adding me to her will.

I can't afford very much.

But we all know
it's not about the money.

It's about Lois and I
spending eternity together.

Yeah. But no.

Pardon?

We sorry for you loss,

but no.

But soul mates belong together.

Yes. But no.

- Okay, see you.
- Bye-bye.


UMMA: In the end we save money.

Appa and I is buried bunk-bed style.

- In the same grave?
- Yeah.

Whoever die first
is buried bottom bunk.

Whoever die next,
he's buried top bunk.

(SIGHS) Oh.

- (MOANS)
- (CHUCKLES)

What?

Nothing.

Gerald just got mixed up
and thought massagee-kigae was

something else.

(GASPS)

Oh.

- Hilarious, right?
- Yeah.

Gerald is very funny boy.

But you know, Janet, it's...

Okay.

Janet, you know you can talk
to me about anything, right?

- Yup, I know.
- Yeah.

(MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY) Ahh.
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