♪♪
Slater, grow up.
The guy is just a
football player.
Hey, Kelly, can you
believe this guy?
He wants to get Johnny Walters
to autograph his rookie card.
You've got his rookie card?
All I've got is his
underwear ad.
What is with you?
I mean, Walters puts on his
underwear one leg at a time,
just like the rest of us.
Is that how you guys do it?
You know, I really wish I could go
to that alumni banquet tomorrow.
Yeah, it's not every day Cal
U retires a guy's jersey.
Uh-huh.
Looks like they've already
retired his pants.
[knocking]
Hey, Mike.
What's up?
Your grade in psychology.
You got a B.
Oh, that's great.
I owe you one.
Hey, that's what a teaching
assistant's for.
Besides, I kind of enjoy
helping you.
Oh yeah?
Well, if you thought
that was fun,
you're gonna love helping
me on my term paper.
It's due next week.
Sure, when do you want to start?
Next week.
What's wrong with right now?
Oh, Mike, come on.
It's homecoming weekend.
There's football, parties,
parades.
Yep, I'm on the clean-up
committee.
I get to walk behind our
fraternity's float.
We have elephants this year.
Well, I'm just gonna study.
Oh, and my buddy, Johnny
Walters, is coming by.
Wait, Johnny Walters
is coming here?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- To the dorm?
I'm gonna go change.
Just remember, one
leg at a time.
Oh, I forgot.
You and Walters played ball
together here at Cal U.
Yeah, and on the 49ers.
Hey, Mike, will you
introduce me?
Oh, please.
What is with you?
Come on, Walters is just
another jock who thinks
just because he gets a million
bucks to endorse some sneaker,
his gym socks don't smell.
You make a good point, Zack.
By the way, have you
met Johnny Walters?
- Hey.
- What's up.
- How are you?
- Hey, how are you?
Talk about a quarterback sneak.
Why didn't you guys tell me
he was standing there?
♪ I'm standing
at the edge of tomorrow, ♪
♪ and it's all up to
me how far I go ♪
♪ I'm standing at the
edge of tomorrow ♪
♪ I've never seen
such a view before, ♪
♪ a new world before my eyes ♪
♪ So much for me to explore ♪
♪ It's where my future lies ♪
♪ Today, I'm standing at
the edge of tomorrow ♪
♪ From here, the future
looks bright for me ♪
♪ And it's all up to
me how far I go ♪
♪ It's my time to break away ♪
♪ I'm standing at the edge
of tomorrow today ♪
Screech, my parents are gonna
be here in 20 minutes.
Do you have to oil your
chain in here?
Well, you don't want me
to squeak, do you?
Last time I rode across campus,
squirrels followed me.
Leslie, Screech has to be
handled in a very special way.
Observe.
- Screech?
- Huh?
Get out now.
OK.
Oh, I almost forgot.
The Burkes are arriving
for homecoming.
You know, as in Burke Hall.
Oh yeah, and how can we
forget Burke Library.
- Oh, yes.
- Knock it off, guys.
Ooh, a little tense, are we?
Not the least little bit.
(SCREAMING) Use the coaster.
Are you crazy?
Hey, look at this, an article
on Johnny Walters.
Man, I still can't believe
you insulted him.
Aw, he's just another jock.
Oh, check this out.
He's also on the board of three
major corporations.
On the other hand, he's a human
being and I've hurt his feelings.
I'm gonna go apologize.
OK, one more time, let it rip.
[squawks].
I've finally got it right.
You are looking at the
next Cal U mascot.
Wait, you're actually gonna
audition for Freddie Falcon?
Oh yeah, and I had to work
really hard to find the bird within me.
[squawks]
What do you think?
I think you look like a nut.
Well, thank you.
It's very nice of you
to make fun of me.
Great going, Slater.
Come on.
Alex, I was joking.
Come on.
[knocking]
MIKE (OFFSCREEN): Yo.
Hey, Mike. I'm here to
work on my term-- oh, hi.
I didn't know you had company.
Look, Johnny, I'm--
I'm sorry I insulted you.
Relax, kid.
I can take it.
I've been booed by 70,000
football fans.
Ah, what do they know?
They-- they take off their
shirts in freezing weather
and paint, "Hi, Mom"
on their beer bellies.
Boy, I miss the game.
You know, I'll never forget
that play in the Super Bowl
when you scrambled
away from four guys
and hit Simpson in
the end zone.
Hey, I recovered a fumble
to set up that play.
Yeah, that's great, Mike.
You won the MVP that
year, didn't you?
Yeah, I just got lucky.
That was the year that my
Achilles tendon ruptured.
No kidding?
What a career.
It is no wonder they're gonna honor
you at the banquet tomorrow night.
Oh yeah, that reminds me.
Mike, I would sure like it if
you did the introduction for me.
Nah, I'm not the
best, you know--
Speaker?
Come on, Mike.
Who knows me better than you?
The Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders?
But if you want me to, sure.
Thanks, buddy.
Now, what do you
say we grab some lunch?
- Yeah, OK?
- My treat.
- You want to come with us, kid?
- Sure.
Those girls in the car commercial, are they
really as beautiful as they look on TV?
You want to know the truth, kid?
- They're better.
- Oh.
You know, I did a commercial
for that Clapper thing once.
I got a free one, too.
[squawks].
I like that pecking thing.
Look, if you're here to make
fun again, you can just forget it.
I have work to do.
No, no really.
That was kind of cute, that
thing you do with your leg.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Maybe, though,
instead of doing this,
you can kind of tilt your head
back and really [squawks].
[squawks].
Yeah, I like that.
That's good.
But this is no good.
Remember, you're a falcon,
so you need bigger wings.
- Oh, OK.
- And you need to flap bigger.
- OK.
- Like this.
- [squawks].
- [squawks].
Yeah, yeah.
[squawks]
[squawks].
You know, this always happens.
The minute I learn
a new dance, pow,
it' s not hip anymore.
Honey, wouldn't this be
better in the closet?
So where's yours?
There's only one, mother.
You share a closet with
two other girls?
Walt, she shares a closet
with two other girls.
I'll make a call.
No, I'm fine with it, really.
Now, you're not really going to
wear this dreadful jacket, are you?
No, I am.
That's mine, Mrs. Burke.
Oh, baby.
You remember the Emersons?
Their son Todd is going to be
calling to take you to the banquet.
Oh gee, I'd love to meet
him, but you see, I--
I already have a date.
You have a date?
Do we know him?
Now, Edith, I'm sure whoever
our girl has chosen will be just fine.
Gotta run, baby.
Well, it was so nice
to meet you.
And remember, our offer
still stands.
Oh, thank you.
I'm sure your chauffeur's
son is very nice,
but I can find
my own dates.
Goodbye, sweetheart.
- Goodbye.
- Bye.
Bye now.
[squawks].
Next year, we get Leslie
her own apartment.
I'll make a call.
So who is this great guy you're
taking to the banquet?
I wish I knew.
I had to make something up.
I can't stand the way they're
always controlling my life.
And mine.
Do you know what I
would love to do?
Bring somebody that they would
never expect me to date,
somebody that would really
freak them out.
Hey, guys.
You going to the parade?
You don't want to miss
the elephants.
See ya.
Screech, I have something
important to ask you.
OK.
Would you be my date for
the homecoming banquet?
Let me get this straight.
You're asking me on a date?
Yes.
Let me get this straight.
You're asking me on a date?
Well, kind of.
You see, my parents are
going to be at the banquet,
and what
I need is--
You need a geek to shock
your parents?
Is that what you're
trying to say?
Well, kind of.
Sure, no problem.
You mean you don't mind?
No, not at all.
I'm great at scaring parents.
I scare my own all the time.
You know, my dad and
I are major fans.
I mean the first game
he ever took me to,
you threw four touchdown
passes against the Rams.
Hey, I remember that game.
I cracked two ribs.
That's great, Mike.
So that's Kelly with a Y.
There you go.
Thank you.
Johnny, may I ask you something?
- You played at Cal U when?
- '78.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Am I wrong or was this piece
of meatloaf here then?
I like you, kid.
You remind me of me when
I was in college.
Remember the time
when that real--
You know, Zack and I have to
work on a psychology paper.
Oh yeah, studying's important.
But by the way,
how would you like to be my
guest at the banquet tomorrow night
and bring a date?
Well, that would be terrific.
Well, I gotta go.
I'll see you at the game?
- Yeah.
- Right, boom.
Yes.
Do you hear that, Mike?
All the rich alumni are gonna
be there at the banquet.
I can make some great business
connections tomorrow night.
Zack, don't get your hopes up.
Why? Johnny just
said he'd get me in.
He's not the most reliable guy.
Mike, now I know I'm not very
good at this psychology stuff,
but am I sensing a little
jealousy here?
You're right.
You're not very good at
this psychology stuff.
Hey, Leslie.
I'm going to the banquet
tomorrow night.
How would you like
to go with me?
Sorry, I'm going with Screech.
Leslie, please.
If you don't want to go out with me,
at least make up a believable excuse.
OK, I'm washing my hair.
Now that I believe.
Slater, I got the part.
I'm the school mascot.
I'm Freddie the Falcon.
All right.
[applause]
And, everybody, I could not have
done it without the help of this man.
Nah, nah, I didn't do anything.
Oh, sure you did, remember?
You stood on that one
leg, and [squawks].
You did that.
No, not-- not here.
You're right.
I should save it for the game.
So anyway,
I get to go to the
homecoming banquet,
and I can bring a guest.
And the guest can be a guy.
And, well, you're a guy,
and I was thinking
that maybe, you know--
Alex, are you asking
me to the banquet?
Yes, unless you
don't want to go,
in which case you
misunderstood me completely.
I'd love to.
Great.
[squawks]
[squawks].
This is gonna be so much fun.
Thanks for asking me, Zack.
Hey, who else would I ask?
Well, we've made our appearance.
I think we can go now.
Come on.
Oh, don't be silly.
They want me to pose for
pictures and greet the alumni.
Hey, everybody, Freddie
the Falcon's here.
[applause]
OK, now, Leslie, is there
anything particularly geeky
you'd like me to do tonight?
Like, um, I can have a wheezing
att*ck during the main course.
Or-- or you'll love this.
I can choke on some milk and
make it come out my nose and ears.
That's always fun.
Just be yourself, Screech.
Oh, good, because the milk
thing I really can't control.
Hi, baby.
Sorry we're late.
Hi, Mom.
So which one is the
lucky fellow?
Oh, that would be me.
No, seriously.
Zack Morris, Mel Cochran.
Mel is the chairman of the board
of Diodine Computers.
Mel, nice to meet you.
I was very impressed to see that you
doubled your fourth quarter earnings.
Well, thank you.
Zack is an up and
coming finance major,
and I just thought he'd be perfect
as our fourth for golf tomorrow.
Really?
I'd love to.
Well, I look
forward to it, Zack.
- Me too.
- See you in a moment.
I have a 15-minute break.
Do you want to dance?
Um, I can't dance.
I'm Amish.
You know, I'm starting to get the
feeling that you're ashamed of me.
Well, of course I'm ashamed.
I'm on a date with Big Bird.
Well, I certainly wouldn't
want to embarrass you.
[sobs]
Don't worry about that milk.
It won't stain.
Thank you, thank you.
So, uh, Scrunch?
Uh, that's Screech.
Scrunch, Screech, who cares?
I mean, what do you--
what do you see yourself
doing five years from now?
Well, Mr. Burke, if
things go well tonight,
I see myself taking
over Burke Industries.
Honey, let me get you your
blood pressure medication.
Well, I may be taking over
sooner than I thought.
Hey, Mike.
Excuse me.
Guess what?
Johnny invited me to play golf with
two major corporate players tomorrow.
We're supposed to work
on your paper.
Oh, Mike, come on.
Forget studying.
We're talking high level
networking here.
I can't believe all the cool
things this guy's doing for me.
Zack, let me level with you.
This guy is not as
cool as he seems.
Yeah, right.
And you said he wasn't going
to get me into the banquet either.
The only reason he invited
you here is to feed his own ego.
Trust me, Johnny Walters only
looks out for Johnny Walters.
Well, you really are jealous.
You know, just because
the guy's a superstar,
that gives you no
reason to put him down.
Why don't you get over it, Mike?
[sobs]
Alex?
Alex, can I talk to
you a moment?
No, I'm not a parrot.
I'm a falcon, and falcons
don't talk.
We eat really big rats and
scratch their eyes out.
Smile.
Um, I want my picture taken
with the falcon.
Why? So you can remember the
most embarrassing night of your life?
Look, Alex.
You've gotta admit.
You're different.
I mean, good different.
That's one of the reasons
I like you.
It's just that this
kind of different
takes some
getting used to.
Wait a minute.
Back up.
You like me?
Well, yeah.
And you could accept me
just the way that I am?
I don't know.
Will my lips fit inside
your beak?
We could try.
Wait till my dad hears
I danced with you.
He's never gonna believe it.
Hey, I have to run into the city
and do an interview with Bob Costas.
Would you like to come along?
Are you kidding?
Oh, I'd love to.
Is it OK If I go with
Johnny, Zack?
Excuse me, Kelly, but there's a
president of a network over there.
I don't think he minds.
Mmm.
Now, of course my dad
wanted me to be a surgeon,
but there's really not much
difference in being a meat cutter,
just a little more
room for error.
Honey, you know it's really not
too late to go to college in France.
I can make a call.
Well, I couldn't possibly
leave my fiancé.
Fiancé?
Yes, uh, how about a June
wedding, my dear?
Dad can carve the
meat sculpture.
He makes a beautiful pork swan.
Leslie, could we speak
to you alone?
Yes.
Pork swan?
Nice touch.
Well.
Honey, you are not marrying
this meat boy.
Think about what you're doing.
You're a Burke, and he's a--
Screech.
Look, we're not getting married.
He's not my boyfriend.
I made up the whole thing.
But why would you do that?
Because I am sick of you
always telling me what to wear,
who to date, what
school to go to.
I'm 18 years old.
It's time I started making
my own decisions.
We only wanted the best
for our little girl.
Well, what's best for me is that
you stop treating me like a little girl.
Edith, I think we should talk
to our therapist about this.
I'll make a call.
So, Mom, Dad, I've been thinking
about names for the grand kids.
What do you think of
Itchy and Scratchy?
Hey there.
Good morning.
So how did Johnny's interview
go at the studio last night?
Fine.
Well, that was nice
of him to take you.
Oh yeah, really nice.
He's a great guy, huh?
Oh yeah, he's a prince.
So why don't I believe
a word you're saying?
You want to know the truth
about our hero?
He hit on me in the limo.
And when I said no,
he picked up another
girl at the TV station
and told me to take a cab home.
Johnny Walters,
big hero, big jerk.
I had no idea.
I'm sorry, Kelly.
It's not your fault.
[knocking]
Hey, Zack. You ready?
Yeah, hold on a minute
there, Johnny.
What happened with you
and Kelly last night?
Oh, nothing, man.
You win a few, you lose a few.
Come on.
The limo's waiting.
Maybe another time.
Another time?
Zack, there won't
be another time.
Now, these guys can get your career
moving before you even graduate.
Think about this, buddy.
I have.
I'm gonna have to pass.
[knocking]
Hey, Mike.
What happened to your golf game?
Um, not playing.
He stood you up, huh?
Yeah, something like that.
I'm sorry, Zack.
Why?
I mean, you warned
me about the guy,
and here I was just
thinking you were jealous.
Want to know something?
I am jealous.
And why shouldn't I be?
Walters has fame and money.
He's a national hero.
All I've got are two bad
knees and a 13-inch TV.
It's color.
Sometimes.
Do you know what
really kills me?
He's still playing a game that
I would play for nothing.
That must be rough.
My last game,
I couldn't bring myself
to take off my uniform
because I knew that I would
never get to put it back on again.
That scared the heck out of me.
After the game,
I walked around the field for
hours smelling the grass, the dirt.
I didn't want to let it go,
but I had to.
The sprinklers came on.
Mike, I know this isn't the NFL,
but I'm telling you, the
kids here really need you.
And I couldn't have gotten
through that test without you.
I know that doesn't
sound like much.
It means more than you think.
Whoa.
[laughs]
[laughs]
[screams]
Ta-da.
01x06 - The Poker Game
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Spin- off following the students in their freshmen year at California University.
Spin- off following the students in their freshmen year at California University.