01x17 - Marry Me

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

Oh, Kelly, some of the girls are
going down to Fisherman's Wharf

on Saturday night.
Wanna come?

- Sure, sounds like fun.
- Great.

Oh, count me in too.

Screech, she said
just the girls.

Unless you're planning on
putting on a dress, you can't come.

Well, how about culottes?

You can't come.

Wait a minute, Kelly. You
can't go out Saturday night.

You and I are going out then.

Well, you didn't say anything.

Well, Saturday's date night,

and you and I have been dating
for a couple weeks now.

Need I say more?

Yes, you need to say,

Kelly, will you go out
with me Saturday night?

OK, fine.

Kelly, will you go out with
me Saturday night?

Sorry, I have plans.

But Screech is available.

You know, after all this time, I still
don't know where I stand with her.

Well buddy, you have
to go in there and tell her

she's gotta make a
commitment to you or else.

That's the way I had
to handle my woman.

What woman?

The woman I used to have
before I handled her.

♪ I'm standing
at the edge of tomorrow, ♪

♪ and it's all up to
me how far I go ♪

♪ I'm standing at the
edge of tomorrow ♪

♪ I've never seen
such a view before, ♪

♪ a new world before my eyes ♪

♪ So much for me to explore ♪

♪ It's where my future lies ♪

♪ Today, I'm standing at
the edge of tomorrow ♪

♪ From here, the future
looks bright for me ♪

♪ And it's all up to
me how far I go ♪

♪ It's my time to break away ♪

♪ I'm standing at the edge
of tomorrow today ♪

The world belongs to
those who take action.

Everybody remembers the
midnight ride of Paul Revere,

but nobody remembers
the guy who said,

(MEEKLY) "The
British are coming now?"

So Kelly, you want to
see a movie Friday?

Shh.

Are you listening to me, Zack,
or are you hitting on Kelly?

Actually, I'm hitting on Kelly.

Good.
See, he's taking action.

Zack is a doer.

Remember what Mussolini said,

"Better to live one day as a
lion than a lifetime as a lamb."

Excuse me, Professor, but
Mussolini wound up being spit on

by angry Italians while he
hung upside down from a spike.

Dr. Rich, give me one good
reason why you are conducting

your history class in the middle
of the student union?

Because the swim team
is using the pool?

Oh great, yet another
professor who's seen

"Dead Poets Society"
one too many times.

Listen, tomorrow,

you better be where
you're supposed to be.

OK, but tomorrow, I'm supposed
to be on sabbatical in Egypt.

If you want to check up on me, you'd
better reserve a Hertz rent-a-camel.

No matter how
you ride it, it hurts.

[phone ringing]

Yes, Gerald?

Yes?

Well, did they find
out who it was?

Listen, someone from Zeta
Kappa mooned me.

Now, I want that entire
fraternity to report to my office --

for a line-up.

Well, for the last time,
class dismissed.

Goodbye, people.

And as Napoleon said,
"Go sir, gallop.

You can ask me for
anything but time."

But sir, didn't Napoleon
die a long and painful death

alone on a desert island?

I'm going to miss you, Screech.

- Oh, thanks.
- Well, you don't have to, sir.

You can take him with you.

Sir, we'd really like to
see you before you go.

Well, I'll stop by
your dorm tonight.

It's right on my way to Cairo.

Actually, sir it's
not on your way.

You see, the latitude
of Cairo is--

Shut up, Screech.

OK, when Professor
Rich comes in,

we throw the confetti and
streamers and yell, bon voyage.

OK, where's the cake?

I told Screech to run down to
the bakery and pick it up.

Alex, listen to me.

Screech, run, cake?

What image does that
bring to mind?

I'll go order another cake.

Yeah.
[knocking]

All right, everybody.
That's Professor Rich.

Now, everybody hide in the room
until the cake comes.

Come on, come on.
I'll stall him.

Go, go.

Shh.

Hi, Professor.
Come on in.

The others will be
along any second.

Can I get you anything?

No, I'm fine.

Actually, I'm glad you and
I have a chance to talk.

You know, you really
grasp what I've been saying

about living
life to its fullest.

Oh yeah, but not like you.

I mean, you've been everywhere.
You've done everything.

I really admire you, sir.

Don't.

What do you mean?

You want to know
the truth, Zack?

I tell everybody I'm going to
Europe, South America and Africa,

but I usually wind up
at my sister's in Fresno.

You're kidding.

I wish I were.

I talk a big game, but I've
played it safe my whole life.

I'm a fraud, Zack.

Now, does that mean you're
not going to Egypt?

No, this time, it's different.

This time, I'm really going.

From now on, I'm going to take
the advice of Horace.

"Seize the day.

Put no trust in the morrow."

Well, I'm glad for you, sir.

I really am.

Excuse me for a moment.

What's going on here, guys?

Alex is on the phone
with the bakery.

He knocked over your
whole cake display?

That's Screech.

When did he leave?

We can't wait for Screech
any longer. Let's do it.

- OK.
- Come on.

(TOGETHER) Bon voyage.

[cheers]

All right.

Well, he doesn't look surprised.

Hey, Professor Rich?

Professor Rich, are
you all right?

I think he's dead.

Oh--

Time for cake.

What is this, a funeral?

Come on, lighten up, Professor.

Oh Screech, Screech.

Man, he's dead.

Dead? Oh my gosh.

I barely touched him.

This is so sad.

Yeah, I'm really gonna
miss Professor Rich.

Me too.

And to think, just yesterday he
dropped dead right on this couch.

Oh.

Is it time to go yet?

This whole funeral thing
is spooking me.

Me too, makes me feel
real creepy.

Oh, Screech.
Death is a part of life.

There's no reason
to feel creepy.

Yes, there is.

I'm wearing my Dracula costume
from last Halloween.

What?

I didn't have a black suit.

Has anybody ever been
to a funeral before?

I have.

What are you supposed to do?

Well, all the loved ones
gathered around the grave,

and then we put his rubber
chew toys and his bowl in with him

and buried him under
his favorite tree.

How old was your dog?

What dog?
I'm taking about Grandpa Powers.

You know, there's
a message here.

Tell me about it.

Life is short.

Experience everything.
Don't waste a minute.

Go for it while you're
still alive.

That's not a message.
That's a beer commercial.

The message is, be careful,

watch your step because the
next one may be your last.

Well, I don't agree with you.

I'm going to start seizing
the day right now.

[knocking]

Come in.

Kelly, I need to ask you
something, and it can't wait.

Mmm, if it's about
shoes, forget it.

Screech borrowed my last
pair of black ones.

No, no, it's not that.

I need--

I, I need to know if
you love me or not.

What?

Zack, can't this wait until
after the funeral?

No, it can't.
We could be dead by then.

So do you love me or not?

Zack, look.

I mean, Professor Rich's death has
got us all thinking about our futures.

- No, it's not just that.
- No, let me finish.

And it's got me thinking too.

And if I'm serious
about becoming a doctor,

I've got to put
that first in my life.

You still haven't answered
my question.

Zack, you know I like you a lot.

That's not what I asked you.

I'm sorry.

I can't say that I love you.

Not right now.

You guys OK?

Yeah, thanks Mike.

I just wondered because I--

I know you're all pretty
close with Professor Rich.

That and because Screech is
wearing women's shoes.

Look, Mike, I don't think my Batman
sneakers would have been appropriate.

This is a funeral you know.

Well, you know, we've been studying
grief therapy in my psychology class,

and I was just thinking maybe
afterwards,

we could get together and,
you know, talk things out?

We're fine Mike, really.

- OK.
- Thanks.

Are his eyes open?

I don't want to look at him
if his eyes are open.

Maybe just a quick session?

Slater, open your eyes.

You're paying your last respects
to the man's feet.

OK, but I don't have
to touch him, do I?

No, you don't have to touch him.

It's a funeral, not
a buffet line.

OK.

Gerald?

Gerald, can you hear me?

Call Don and Janet and tell them
I've got to cancel the golf game.

No, I can't leave early, Gerald.

A man is dead.

I have to deliver his eulogy,

comfort the widow,
yadda, yadda, yadda.

What?
Oh, he wasn't married?

Oh, well then tell them that
I'll slip out during the prayers

and catch them on the back nine.

[sobs].

Are you sure you're up
to this, Dean McMahon?

Yes, of course.
I'm sorry, Reverend.

Oh, right.

We are gathered here

to pay our last respects

to Professor Jonathan Rich.

At this time, I would like to
ask the dean of students,

Susan McMahon, to step
up to the lectern

and say a few words.

Thank you, Reverend.

I don't need to tell you all how
close I was to Professor--

Rich.

In fact, you could say that

a part of me is with him still.

Well, enough tears.

We must remember that
Professor Rich had a good life.

- He had a full life.
- That's not true.

Professor Rich never
lived a full life.

You see, he was just like
the rest of us,

afraid of taking chances.

And you know what?

If he were here
with us right now,

he wouldn't want us to just sit
here on a beautiful day like this.

He'd want us to do something.

Seize the day, celebrate life.

I know. Why don't we all
just go out in the cemetery

and play Ultimate Frisbee?

Well, I certainly must apologize
for this inappropriate outburst.

Some people simply have no
sense of propriety and decorum.

[phone ringing]

Uh.

So, nobody's seen Zack?

No, and I'm really worried
about him, Mike.

Ah, don't be worried.

What he's going through is a
natural part of the grieving process.

He's probably feeling denial,
depression, withdrawal.

[engine]

Hey, everybody.

Check out my Harley.

Are you crazy?

Do you have any idea how
dangerous motorcycles are?

Ah, who cares?

But you know, if it
makes you feel better,

Screech, why
don't you hop on?

- You can be my airbag.
- Really?

Cool.

Zack, come here.

Sit down.

Now, you're obviously having
trouble dealing with your grief.

Now remember, I'm
a therapist in training.

Now, I want you to tell
me exactly what you felt

when Professor Rich d*ed.

Well, sure, if you want.

Well, he was sitting right there,
and I was thinking to myself--

Wait, right where?

There, where you're sitting.

And I thought--

Ew.

A dead guy sat here.

We're gonna have to finish
our counselling later.

That's-- ew.

Zack is right.
We could die tomorrow.

Let's go for it.

Right, let's go for it.

What should we go for?

Wait, wait, wait.

I got it.
We go back to the dorm.

- Yeah.
- We lock all the doors.

- Yeah.
- We get all the Haagen Dazs.

- Yeah.
- And we eat it.

That's it?

Oh no, no, no.
Here's the risky part.

Afterward, we don't
weigh ourselves.

Oh, oh.

Quick, Mr. Slater,
call security.

Why?
What's the matter?

There's someone climbing down
the side of the building.

What?

Hey, guys.

What's for lunch?

Mr. Morris, that is the stupidest
prank I have ever seen at this college.

All right, I pulled the
stupidest prank ever. Hey.

[cheering]

Well, how would you like
to be suspended?

Oh, Dean McMahon,
that would be great

because then I could make
that motorcycle rally in Oakland.

Oh, oh.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'm gonna do something really
daring and try the chili dog.

You, pick up that napkin
or you'll be suspended.

Yes, ma'am.

Well, still got it.

Zack, I couldn't talk you
out of riding a motorcycle,

and I couldn't talk you out of
climbing up the side of the building.

But I am your friend,
and so help me,

I am not going to let
you eat this chili dog.

Zack, why are you doing
all this crazy stuff?

Well, why do you care?

I mean it's not like
you're my girlfriend.

Is that what this is about, me?

You?

Don't flatter yourself.

Fine, then go do what you want.

Go jump out of an
airplane for all I care.

Hey, jump out of an airplane.

Now, that's not bad.

(SCREAMING) Zack?

You were right.

This is fun.

Zack?

Let me down.

Slater, why won't you go
skydiving with us, huh?

I mean it's your kind of thing.
What's gotten into you, man?

Hey, I don't have to prove
anything to you.

You're the one with the problem.

What kind of an idiot jumps
out of a plane?

I'm ready to go, Zack.

You are really gonna go through
with this, Screech?

You're not afraid?

Well, sure, all the time.

But whenever I'm afraid,
I just pretend I'm you.

You mean me the way
I used to be?

Well, yeah. If I acted
the way you do now,

I'd be a real girlie man.

Gee, maybe I have gotten
a little wimpy.

Come on. Come with us,
Slater, the Three Musketeers.

Yeah, but skydiving?
I don't know.

Hey, you're the one who was
never afraid of anything.

Remember the time you stood
up to those three football players?

Yeah.

And remember the time
you separated your shoulder,

but you still wrestled
the state champion?

- Yeah, and I won.
- Uh-huh.

Oh, and hey, what about the
time you went on a blind date

with my cousin Goiter?

Oh.

Talk about guts.

Slater, if you can
do all those things,

then you can do this, right?

- I guess.
- They you'll do it, right?

- Right, I'll do it.
- All right.

- Yeah.
- Whoa.

OK, gentlemen.

We're at 8,000 feet
approaching the jump zone.

Are you ready?

Hey guys, this is gonna
be fun, huh?

Yeah, I can't wait.

Oh, that's great because
something just occurred to me.

- What's that?
- I'm not going.

- You're joking, right?
- Oh yeah, I'm joking.

Does it look like I'm joking.
No, I'm not joking.

Waiter, what's this fly
doing in my soup?

The backstroke.
That's a joke.

Ha, ha. Screech jumps out of
an airplane and dies is not a joke.

Hey, hey, Screech,
just calm down.

Remember, whenever you're
afraid, just pretend you're Slater.

Uh, uh, there's just one
problem with that, Zack.

- What?
- (SCREAMING) I'm not going.

I don't want to die.
[sobs].

It's OK, gentlemen.

This happens all the time.

There's nothing to
be ashamed of.

So you gonna wimp out like
your sissy friends?

No way.
Hey, you guys stay here.

I'll see you on the ground.

Take your position.

Are you ready?

- Ready.
- Hold it.

I'm getting a message
from the ground.

It's-- it's from somebody
named Kelly.

Kelly?
Well, what does she want?

Zack, can you hear me?

Look, please don't jump.

She says, please don't jump.

- Why not?
- Why not?

Well, I mean I care about you.

I just got so hurt in the last relationship
that I didn't want to get involved again.

But then on the other hand--

- What?
- What did she say?

- I can't say.
- Why?

- Is the signal breaking up?
- No, it's just women.

Go figure.

Could you get to the
point, ma'am?

We're running a little
low on fuel.

OK, OK.

Zack, look, I don't want
you to jump because--

Don't jump because--

Because I love you.

- I love you.
- I love you too.

I love you too.

Now get back down here
so I can hold you in my arms

and show you how
much I love you.

- She says 10-4.
- Oh, yeah.

Guys, did you hear it?
This is incredible.

- What? All right.
- She says she loves me.

Oh, I feel like--like
I must be crazy.

I don't want to jump
out of an airplane.

Oh, guys, she said she loves me.

- I don't want to die.
- OK, it's OK.

- I got you.
- OK.

- You're not gonna go anywhere.
- OK, turn the plane around.

- We're not gonna jump.
- Roger.

[screaming]

I'm gonna k*ll you, Zack.

No you're not.
The ground's gonna k*ll me.

Hey, guys?

There's not a men's room out
here anywhere, is there?

Just pull your rip
cord, Screech.

Uh-oh.
[screams].

Here we go.
[screams].

Whoa.

Hey, this is fun.

Yeah, I think I just threw
up on a flock of geese.

What a blast.

Hey, so you guys want
to do it again?

(TOGETHER) No way.

Well, where is he?

Did you see him land?

Well, is he all right?

Not yet.

Now, he's all right.

Zack, promise me you'll never
do anything crazy like that again.

Oh, but Kelly, it was
incredible free-falling like that.

I mean you've got the--

the wind blowing in your face,
the feeling of total freedom.

What a rush.

Now of course, there are rushes,
and there are rushes.

I love you.

I love you too.

Uh, a little privacy please?

(SCREAMING) Zack?

Let me down.