02x01 - The Prom

[bunniefuu]

(bell rings)

♪ When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning ♪

♪ I don't think I'll ever
make it on time ♪

♪ By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ♪

♪ I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

♪ If the teacher pops a test
I know I'm in a mess ♪

♪ And my dog ate
all my homework last night ♪

♪ Ridin' low on my chair,
she won't know that I'm there ♪

♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow
it will be all right ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

- (knocking)
- Come in.

What are you guys doing here?

Kelly, we can't wait any longer.
We've come for your answer.

That's right.
Next week is the prom

and you've got
to choose between us.

Oh, come on.
I like you both.

I don't want to hurt
either one of you.

Hey, if you want to hurt Slater,
it's okay.

Hey, why would she want
to go with a boy

when she can go
with a gladiator?

Guys, this is hard.

It's like choosing between
two great pieces of chocolate.

Sorry, Kelly, from now on,

you only get zits
from one of us.

Okay, if I must.

Both:
You must!

I want my mommy.

Hey, she can go with Zack.

Listen, I'll give you my
answer in the morning, okay?

All right then.

Kelly...

This is Geraldo Screech.

(applause)

Today's topic is,
"Women Who Love Two Men."

It's trashy, tacky,
tasteless... it's Geraldo.

(applause)

Kelly cannot choose
a date for the prom.

So what has this two-timer
put her men through?

- A hunk-off, Geraldo Screech.
- A hunk-off indeed.

- What do your friends think?
- I think it's romantic.

I think it's reverse macho-pigism,
and I don't like it.

Then I don't like you.

Zack and Slater are dead even.
And what's the final event, Kelly?

- Evening wear.
- Disgusting. I love it.

(soft music plays)

(applause)

Kelly, it's time to choose
one of these bimbos.

So how does it feel
to be a loser, Zack?

Well, I'm not a loser,
Geraldo Screech.

I'll always love Kelly.

I just want her to be happy.

Don't forget tomorrow:
"Blond Boys Who Never Date Again."

This is Geraldo Screech.
Good night.

You've actually decided who
you want to take to the prom?

- Yes.
- Both: Who?

Guys, hi, uh...

Any girl would be lucky to go
to the prom with either one of you.

Slater, you're everything
a girl could want.

You're great looking,
a great dancer, a great guy.

Great.

But, I'm sorry.
I'm going with Zack.

Ohh!
Why?!

What does Zack have
that I don't have?

Zack, hold it together.
You are Zack.

Wait, I am Zack!

She's-- she-- you're going--

She's going with Zack!
Ohh, she's--

She's going with Zack!

(laughs)
Oh, thank you!

All right, all right.
You won, Preppie.

You just better treat her good.

Now that Kelly's picked Zack,

it's time to snatch me up
before I'm taken.

Will you go to the prom with me?

- Yeah, I'll go.
- You will?!

I'll go when with you
when worms have ears.

You're weakening.

Do you know what's in that box?

Just a bunch of worms with ears.

Screech cut out
a bunch of little paper ears

and pasted them on these worms.

Now you can go
to the prom with him.

I am not going
to the prom with him.

- Why not?
- Yeah, why not?

That's why not.
Because he is always there.

He's been hunting me
ever since nursery school.

Just go to the movies
with me Friday night,

and if you don't have
a good time, no prom,

and I'll be out
of your life forever.

What do you have to lose?

Okay. One date,
then you're history.

All right!

You may keep the worms,
my darling.

Lisa, I cannot wait to pick out
my dress. It's my first formal.

Maybe something in yellow
to match Zack's hair.

- (knocking)
- Come in.

Gotta go. We'll go shopping
right after school, okay? Bye.

- Hi, Daddy.
- Hi, honey.

Mom told me that you're
really excited about the prom.

Yeah, we're going to go
buy my dress tomorrow.

I remember when I took
your mom to the prom.

My feet never touched the floor.

You were that much in love?

Well, actually
I was a terrible dancer.

My feet were on top
of your mother's feet all night.

We had a ball.
I hope you do, too.

Thanks.

Kelly, um... why don't
you sit down, honey?

There's something
I have to tell you.

Is something wrong?

Well, yeah, I'm afraid so.

World peace broke out.

- That's good isn't it?
- For the world, yes.

But not if you work
in a defense plant.

I lost my job today.

- Oh, Daddy, that's terrible.
- No, no, no.

Everything's gonna be all right.

I'm telling you first because
I know you'll help

keep everybody else's spirits up

while I'm trying to find
another job.

- Daddy?
- Yeah?

I want to help.

I want you to take this money.

Kelly, I gave you that money
last week for the prom.

I'm not going to the prom.

There are seven other people
in this house besides me.

Family comes first.

Honey, this is not
why I came up here.

I know that.

But you've got to let me do this.
I'll go to the prom next year.

Unless peace really
gets out of hand.

Kelly, I can't let you
do that, honey.

Why not?
You do it all the time.

Remember when you saved up
all your money for your golf clubs

and I needed braces?

Yeah.

My smile is better
than your golf score.

You needed them.

And you need this.

You're sure
you're all right about this?

Positive.
Have I ever lied to you, Daddy?

Never.

(crying)

It's the first time
I ever lied to my father.

Okay, now we have exactly
214 minutes

to shop at the Palisades Mall
before dinner.

Here's our route.

You have a map of the mall?

I have a map of every mall
from here to Tijuana.

Lisa, I can't go
to the mall with you.

Why?

I'm not going to the prom.

Oh no. Don't tell me
Slater k*lled Zack?

No. My dad lost his job
and we need the money.

- I'm sorry, Kelly.
- Have you told Zack?

Not yet.
But I'm sure he'll understand.

Hi, girl of my dreams.

I already rented my tux
and guess what?

- Zack, I have to talk to--
- No, in a second, in a second.

Wait till you hear the best part.
Me and a couple of guys,

we chipped in, we got us a big stretch limo
with a CD, TV...

and M.E. Thanks to you, this is gonna be
the best night of my life.

- Zack...
- What? Anything.

I... uh...

- can't wait to see you in your tux.
- All right!

Hi, guys.

All right, settle down, settle down.
Now next weekend

is our annual Bayside Prom,
and I want it to be our best ever.

That's why I've called a meeting
of all Prom Chairmen.

Don't you mean chairpersons?

Hey, the chair-chick
has a point.

Zack, I know that you and Lisa
are in charge of decorations,

but this year's theme
is not going to be

"Zack and Kelly's Prom."

Don't you love it, sir?
It sings. Look at that Zack.

Didn't she tell him yet?

No, she doesn't want
to break his heart.

Mr. Belding,
would you please

tell the chair-babes
to be quiet?

Will the chair-pig
please mind his own business?

Ooh!
Yeah!

Babes, pigs, please,
come to order. Morris.

Now, Slater, Jessie,
what do you have for music?

He wants lambada.

She wants protest music.

I'm sure there's
a compromise somewhere,

between "Dirty Dancing,"
and "The Best of Nelson Mandela."

(laughs)
Ahem.

All right, now who's
in charge of food?

- I am, sir.
- Who else would be?

Stop with the fat jokes
or I'll sit on you.

Ooh, this is getting heavy.

Hey, will you two cut it out?

Now what kind of food
is your committee serving, Alan?

Chocolate fudge cake,
strawberry shortcake,

hot fudge sundaes
with whipped--

Man, you're gonna have to grease the
doorway to get home, Alan.

Belding: Alan, Alan...

I love cake, but don't you think that's all
just a little bit rich?

Right. That's why we're
not having any dessert.

What are you
chairperson of, Robert?

Nothing.
I just came to tell you

that the chemistry lab's on fire.

Got any marshmallows, dude?

Code Red!
Code Red!

I can't believe you
like these tapes.

Hey what's wrong
with Paula Abdul and Janet Jackson?

Their music doesn't
say anything.

Did you ever see them move?
They're saying plenty, baby.

Don't call me baby, bubba.

Are you guys still fighting?

That's what we do best.

Lisa, is there anything
we can do for you?

Well, yeah. You can
change your name to Lisa

and go to the movies
with Screech tonight.

What movie are you going to?

"Zombies in Love."
Guess who picked it?

Hey, let's try this one.

- (dance music plays)
- All right, now come on, mama.

Let's see if we can
move meaningfully.

Hey, I like this.

Hey, you move pretty good.

Thanks.
You're okay, too.

You know we haven't
fought for 15 seconds.

It was 20.
Shut up.

Hey, uh... do you have
a date for the prom?

Uh... no, not yet.
How about you?

Not exactly. You know,
I'm still narrowing it down.

You think that, uh...
I don't know,

perhaps...
you would, uh...

Slater, are you asking me
to go to the prom with you?

Maybe.
You interested?

Maybe.

Maybe...
pick you up at 7:00?

No. I'll pick you up at 7:00.

Gee, Lisa, I can't believe
we're finally on a date together.

Are you having a good time?

"Are you having
a good time?"

"Are you having a good time?"

"Are you having
a good time?"

- "Are you having a good time?"
- Yes!

All: Yes!

You want me to go get you
some popcorn, my love?

Yes, please go.

(thunder clap)

(woman screams)

Lisa, why don't you sit next to
him and give the date a chance?

Why don't you tell
Zack about the prom?

- What?
- Nothing. Have some more popcorn.

- Guess who?
- (screams)

All: Shh!

I got the wide container so
both our hands can fit in at once.

Um, Screech, would you go get me some
chocolate malt balls?

I knew you'd want them.

You know, popcorn
really makes me thirsty.

- Do you think you could get me--
- Cola?

Or uncola?

Uncola, please.

Hey, no arm, no soda.

When do the zombies
fall in love?

Shh.
You'll see.

Is that the zombie?

No, that's his mother-in-law,
his "mombie."

Where's Matt Dillon?

He's not in this movie.
Just watch.

Look, there's the zombie.

- Shh!
- What?

All: Quiet!

He's cute for a dead guy.

That's a female zombie.

Can't you see she's
wearing high heels?

You're into fashion.

Are you sure Matt Dillon's
not in this movie?

Yes, Alan Thicke is the zombie.
Everybody knows that.

What a great movie, Screech.

Screech?
Where are you?

I missed most of the movie
'cause of motor-mouth down there.

Next time go to the movies
with Matt Dillon.

This has been the worst date
of my life.

Forget the prom!

Wait-- wait a minute.
You're not supposed to dump me.

I'm supposed to dump you.

You know, Slater,

tonight's
turning out to be okay.

Yeah, I know what you mean.
I can't wait for the prom.

Why don't you guys come
with us in our limo?

- It'll be fun, huh, Kelly?
- All right. Sure.

I don't think that's
such a great idea, Zack.

Why not?

Because, um...

I can't go to the prom with you.

Hey, hey, why don't you pick
on a locker your own size?

Very funny, Slater. Why don't
you mind your own business?

Oh, please don't hurt me,
"blond Hulk."

(groans)

Aw, did little Preppie
hurt himself?

Let Uncle Slater kiss it better.

Look, I'm bummed out, all right?

- Kelly dumped me.
- Is that what you think?

Yeah. Every time I call her,

her mother says
she's washing her hair.

Who washes their hair
six times a day?

- You do.
- Besides me.

- I don't believe her.
- Well, you shouldn't,

because it's not true.

What do you mean?

Look, Jessie told me
that Kelly's father lost his job

and she can't afford
to go to the prom.

I had no idea.

Poor Kelly.

You got it, Preppie. Poor Kelly.
Not poor Zackie.

(knocking)

Can I come in?

Sure.

Kelly, I know how much you really wanted
to go to the prom tonight.

It's okay.

You lied to me, honey.

Yeah.

I know what you gave up
for the family.

And I want you to know
that I am very proud of you.

I think I'm going to cry.

Why don't you wait on that?

There's somebody
here to see you.

Zack, what are you doing here?

Well, I was just hanging
around outside your room,

and I thought I'd
drop in and say, "Hi."

I, uh...

gotta go wash my hair.

Because of you there's
a drought in California.

I just found out about your dad.

Why didn't you tell me?

I don't know. You were
so excited about the prom,

and I guess I was
a little embarrassed.

I owe you an apology.

No, you don't have
to apologize for anything.

Why aren't you at the prom?

Oh is that tonight?

Gosh, I must have forgotten.

There must have been 100 girls
who would love to go with you.

Mmm, actually 106.

Just kidding.

I'm sorry I ruined your night.

It would be ruined
if I went with someone else.

I think I'm going to cry.

Your father warned me
about that so, uh...

why don't we go
for a walk instead?

I'd like that.
Where are we going?

It's a surprise.

(dance music playing)

Great prom, huh, Alan?

Yeah, the cake's delicious.

- Have you been dancing?
- No, I've been icing.

- Want some?
- Maybe I'll have a lick later.

All right, Nardino.
We have rules around here.

You and Mancuso
show me some air.

Hey, hey, hey!
Separate or I'll get the hose!

Then this zombie
that looked like Matt Dillon

gave a dead rose
to the female zombie.

And then, the male zombie
didn't like that at all,

so do you know what he did?

Probably got earplugs.

Now you know why
I dumped the babe.

(clapping rhythm)

(cheers)

Zack, what are we doing here?

Told you I had a surprise.

What is all this?

- It's a prom picnic.
- You're crazy.

Only about you.

There we go.

Zack, this is so nice.

Yep, and now we have
everything they have in there.

Even two pieces of cake
I wrestled away from Alan.

Sorry there's no icing.

Zack, I don't know
how to thank you.

Don't.
Just close your eyes.

Give me your hand.

A corsage.
It's beautiful.

- I think I'm going to cry.
- No, please don't.

You might put out the candle.

Hey, Alan, old buddy,
how about some cake, huh?

No. There are only five pieces left and I
want to take them home.

Come on, Alan.

Here, have some peanuts.

Alan, Alan, look!

- There's Sara Lee!
- Where?

Okay, guys and gals,
lovers and lovees.

This is the last dance.
Make it magic

while the Screechman
takes you home.

Ladies, your choice.

(soft music plays)

Zack, will you dance with me?

Sure.

Zack, I don't know how
to thank you for tonight.

We're together.
That's enough.

(instrumental theme music plays)