02x15 - The Fabulous Belding Boys

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Saved by the Bell". Aired: August 20, 1989 to May 22, 1993.*
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Series follows a group of high school friends and their principal at the fictional Bayside High School in LA.
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02x15 - The Fabulous Belding Boys

Post by bunniefuu »

(bell rings)

♪ When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning ♪

♪ I don't think I'll ever
make it on time ♪

♪ By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ♪

♪ I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

♪ If the teacher pops a test
I know I'm in a mess ♪

♪ And my dog ate
all my homework last night ♪

♪ Ridin' low in my chair,
she won't know that I'm there ♪

♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow
it will be all right ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

This history class
is a kid's worst nightmare.

Our teacher, Mr. Dickerson,
is more horrible

than four zits on a first date.

(bell rings)

- Good morning, Mr. Dickerson.
- Stop sucking up, it won't work.

Tomorrow is our history midterm.

No one has passed it
in three years.

This grade is important to me,
I've got to get an A.

Sir, can we at least review
what's gonna be on the test?

Okay.

- Who sh*t Lincoln, Screech?
- It wasn't me.

- John Wilkes Booth.
- Where?

- Ford Theater.
- Year?

- 1865.
- Successor?

- President Johnson.
- Which Johnson?

Magic Johnson.

Laugh now, loser.
None of this is on the test.

- (cackles)
- PA: Morning, class,

this is your principal,
Mr. Belding.

Stop interrupting my class!

Would the class trip representatives
report to my office immediately?

Thank you.

Mr. Dickerson,
I don't want to miss the review,

but this class trip is
the biggest deal of the school year.

- Go!
- All right.

But the only trip this class
will take is to summer school.

(cackles)

The highlight of the school year
is taking you on the annual class trip.

Today we pick our destinations,
so let's hear your ideas.

I think we should visit
the Hershey Chocolate Factory.

Fat chance, Milton.

Why don't we take
a cruise to Hawaii?

We don't have enough money
to take the class on a cruise.

Well then, just send me.

We should do something significant. Let's
picket a nuclear power plant.

Why don't you save that
for your honeymoon?

- (kids arguing)
- Belding: Please! Please!

This trip can be educational
and fun at the same time.

Let's go to Las Vegas.

We can study the Roman Empire
at Caesar's Palace.

Let's go to the Hostess Museum, I hear
they have a great Ding Dong exhibit.

You're a ding-dong, Milton.

- (arguing)
- Belding: Hold it. Hold it!

Hold... it!

Since we can't agree, I'll pick
a place I'm sure everyone will like.

That sounds fair, Mr. Belding.

In the meantime, hit those books
because if you don't pass your midterms

there'll be no class trip
for any of you.

Jessie, was Archduke Francis Ferdinand
assassinated at Sarajevo?

Yes, very good, Zack.

All right, and that started
World w*r I.

I thought it was 'cause everyone
was sh**ting at each other.

Stop fooling around, you simp.

Oh, thanks,
I had a fly on my head.

Zack, I am really impressed.
You really are serious about this test.

Not the test, the trip.

I heard that Dickerson
flunked his own kid last year.

Come on, guys, all we have to do
is study the material

and Dickerson can't stop us
from going on the trip.

Zack's right.

You'll never pass my test, Zackie.

Psst...

your looks won't get you through
this one, cheerleader.

♪ F, F, F,
you're both getting an F ♪

I need a break.

Yeah, let's watch
"Fresh Prince."

♪ You think you're smart,
you think you're hip ♪

♪ Put your books away,
'cause there's no class trip ♪

It's been almost five minutes
since the bell rang.

- Where do you think Dickerson is?
- I hope nothing happened to him.

All right, look everybody,
if Dickerson's not here in 30 seconds,

I'm invoking
the five-minute rule.

What's the five-minute rule?

If a teacher doesn't show up
within five minutes of the bell,

- everyone is free to leave.
- I've never heard of that rule.

All right,
there's 10 seconds left. 10...

All:
Nine, eight, seven, six--

Five-minute rule, eh, Morris?

How'd you know?
I just made it up.

Class, Mr. Dickerson
will not be here today.

(all cheering)

Gee, that's too bad,
what happened?

Well...

he came into the teachers' lounge
and gave everybody an F.

I knew he needed a rest
when he sent me to detention.

Does that mean we don't
have to take his midterm?

Whoa... whoa.

No.

The test will be given by
our substitute teacher, Mr. Belding.

I think you're losing it, sir.
You're Mr. Belding.

This is also Mr. Belding.
This is my brother, Rod Belding.

Get out of here.

He's right, I'm his brother.
I'll take over from here, Richie.

It's Richard, Rodney.

I can't believe it,
two Beldings in one school.

Wow, a building with two Beldings,
one of whom is balding.

So there won't be any confusion,
call me Rod.

Whoa.

This test looks pretty hard.

I heard if you don't pass it
you can't go on the class trip.

That's just an ugly rumor, sir.

I don't want to be
part of any ugly rumor.

Instead of taking history,
let's make some history.

Everybody pick up your test,
and do what I do.

- Woo-hoo!
- All: Woo-hoo!

I love this guy.

- Mr. Belding?
- Please, call me Rod.

Okay, Rod.

What about our grades on the midterm?
I have to get an A.

Okay, you got an A.

I'll have an A also, Rod.

You're gonna give us
whatever grade we want?

No, I'm giving you whatever grade
you think you deserve.

Then I'll take an A.

I thought the first time I kissed Zack was
the happiest moment of my life.

- Kelly.
- Oop--

Put me down for an A+,
Rod, honey.

Okay, Rod,

is this on the level here?
Are you for real?

I believe teacher-student relationships
should be based on trust.

Now, what do you deserve?

Trust me, sir, definitely an A.

Mr. Rod, sir, I have a real problem.

My heart says A,
but my head says C+.

And my lips say you're brain dead
if you take the C+.

What's it gonna be, son?

Okay, I'll go for it, B-.

...So I said to the head of the airline,

"Now make somebody else
a vice-president,

I need my summers off
to follow my dreams."

Being a substitute teacher
is perfect,

I get the same vacation you guys do
and none of the homework.

- How's it going in here?
- Radical, Richie dude.

Mr. Belding, your brother
is the best teacher I've ever had.

- All: Yes.
- Yeah, you're nothing alike.

It's hard to believe
you're even brothers.

What he's trying to say, sir,
is that you're both so...

so... so different.

Yeah, he's got so much more
hair than you do, sir.

Oh, but you have
a much bigger forehead.

Thank you for bringing that
to my attention.

Now for the big news.

I have decided where
we're going for our trip.

- Zack: Really? Where, sir?
- Ready for this?

We're going to camp out
under the stars

at Yosemite National Park.

- All: All right.
- Yosemite, that could be good.

I like it, Mr. Belding.

- You guys are really brave.
- What do you mean?

You're letting my brother
lead you into the woods.

When he was 12 we camped out
on the front lawn, he got lost.

- Yes, there it goes.
- Home run!

All right, yes.
Great game, guys.

- You guys having a good time?
- Yeah, but what if Mr. Belding

catches us in here watching
the Dodger game?

You're right, he'll be mad,
he's a Giants fan.

Stop worrying,
he's at a school board meeting.

Rod, you're the best.
You're not like a teacher at all.

You're like one of the guys.

Check this out.

Uh-hmm.
Will the prettiest girls in school

please report
to the principals' office

immediately
for some chips and dip?

Come on, Zack, cut it out.

I'm just playing principal.
I didn't press the button.

Oh... now it's my turn.

I do a great Belding.

- Zack, sit down.
- Okay.

I think it's time
we had a man-to-man,

guy-to-guy talk.

Remember the last three letters
of principal spell "pal."

Now--

Screech, you all right?

Yeah-- whoa.

Oh, just kidding.

You really do remind me
of my brother.

- You guys excited about the class trip?
- Oh, man, I can't wait.

Imagine, sitting under the stars

cuddling with Kelly
around a campfire.

- (sighs)
- I don't need a girl to keep warm.

Mom's packing
three pairs of long johns...

with a lock on the trapdoor
to keep the bears out.

I'll never forget our class trip,
it was the greatest ever.

- We went white-water rafting.
- Really?

- I've always wanted to do that.
- There's nothing like it.

sh**ting the rapids, taking risks,
you're pushing yourself to the limit.

I know exactly what you mean.

I felt that way the first time I rode the
teacups at Disneyland.

I'd give anything to go
white-water rafting.

I don't blame you, Zack.
You gotta grab life.

What are you gonna do at Yosemite?
Walk around trees and chase squirrels.

Rod, Belding would never
take us rafting.

That Belding wouldn't,
but this Belding would.

- White-water rafting?
- Yeah.

It'll be a trip
we'll never forget, Jessie.

I've done it, Mama, it's the
greatest thrill you've ever had.

Well, except for dating me,
of course.

Oh, please. Should I throw up now,
or save it for the raft?

I'm gonna save it for the raft.

I've heard it's really exciting,
like a spike in volleyball.

I'm gonna do nothing but kick back
and look at beautiful scenery.

If you want beautiful scenery, baby,
wait till you see me in a wet T-shirt.

If it means you're drowning,
count me in.

- Come on, guys, let's go for it.
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.

We all agreed to go camping
with Mr. Belding.

Then let's ask him
if we can go rafting instead.

- (knocking on door)
- Come in.

Mr. Belding, we'd like
to talk to you about the class trip.

Absolutely. It's gonna be great
spending time with you guys.

Look, I've already got
the first two days planned.


- Well, you see--
- Wait till you hear this--

we get up at dawn for the sunrise
and we hike to Yosemite Falls

and we watch the deer
come down and drink.

- Huh?
- That's so sweet.

- I think I'm gonna cry.
- Stop it.

Then we go on a wildflower walk
in the middle of the valley

and have lunch--
oh, you are gonna love this,

- in the Indian caves.
- But, Mr. Belding,

- Is something wrong, Slater?
- Well no, it--

it all sounds great, sir.

What Slater's trying to say
is that Yosemite seems beautiful

and peaceful and-- Zack?

Actually, Mr. Belding,

I don't exactly know how to say this-- it's
easy, tell him, Screech.

We don't wanna go on your boring nature
trip, we wanna go white-water rafting.

Rafting? Is this true?
Do you all feel this way?

You see, Mr. B,
we only have one big class trip

and we all want to do something
more challenging.

I understand that, but I don't know
anything about rafting.

- It can be dangerous.
- Don't worry about it, sir.

Your brother is an expert
and offered to take us.

Oh, I see.

What you're saying is that
all of you would like to go with him.

Mr. Belding, it's a great chance
to really find out what we're made of.

Of course I want you
to have the best trip ever,

and if you all feel this way...

- yeah, sure.
- All: All right.

- Screech: All right, Mr. Belding.
- Slater: Thanks, Mr. B.

Let's pretend
this is the real thing.

We're heading for white water.

Everybody hold on.

All: Whoa!

Hey, Kelly.

Look at the mountains
and the trees.

- Oh, there's a deer drinking water.
- Where? Where?

It's pretend.

If it's pretend, why am I
getting seasick? (groans)

Because when you were little,
your daddy bounced you on his knee

and the ceiling was low.

- Okay, everybody hold on.
- (group gasping)

(whimpers)

Lisa, I can't swim.

- Okay, here comes the big one.
- (girls screaming)

- Rod: Okay, okay.
- Slater: Whoa.

This is a good time
to demonstrate lifesaving skills.

- Any volunteers?
- Sir, I'm an expert on mouth-to-mouth.

Right, Mama?

Don't flatter yourself.

You're just okay.

That's not what you said
Saturday night.

Okay. You two ladies
lie on the floor.

Rod:
Guys, kneel next to the victim.

Okay.

Zack, put your hand
under Kelly's neck.

- Like this?
- Good, and elevate her chin.

- Good. You too, Slater.
- Okay.

Now take a breath -- go for it.

Both: All right!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
What is going on here?

I'm drowning and nobody cares!

I hope there's
a good explanation for this.

- There is, Richie--
- Richard.

- The boys were demonstrating CPR.
- Yeah.

Looks like they were
making out to me.

Besides, you're supposed
to be in history class.

Stop being so uptight.

We're just using some class time
to prepare for this Friday's trip.

Take your class to the room.

- (everyone groans)
- Come on, everybody.

Mr. Belding, don't be mad at Rod,
he's a great teacher.

- Rod?
- Yeah.

No other teacher ever
cared so much about us.

Maybe he should
care more about teaching

and less about being popular.

Maybe you're jealous
of your own brother.

Tonight we head
for the Colorado River.

I finally found a subject I love --
leaving school.

Don't worry, Jessie, if you
fall overboard, I'll rescue you.

Someone should rescue you
from your macho fantasies.

You know, Kelly, this is gonna be
the best week of our lives.

- No studying, no homework.
- Zack, that is your life.

No, I mean one week
away from everything

except my favorite person
in the world.

- I'm not gonna drown this time.
- (squeaks)

Hey, everybody,
the buses are here.

- All right, yeah.
- But where's Rod?

I'll go look for him.

Belding:
I cannot believe you're doing this.

The class trip
leaves in five minutes.

- These kids are depending on you.
- Come on, Richie, they'll get over it.

They look up to you.

What is so important
that you would disappoint 30 kids?

Richie, if you met this stewardess,
you'd know.

You're doing this to spend time
with some stewardess?

It's not just some stewardess,
this is Inga.

And she's only in town
for the weekend.

I knew. I knew it was a mistake
to let you come to my school.

You promised me you had changed,
but no, you are the same Rod.

You get people's hopes up
and then you let them down.

Richie, she's gorgeous.
You should see her, she's a 10.

Is that what
you're gonna tell the kids?

That you dumped them
for some weekend fling?

Of course not.
Tell them I'm sick.

Tell them anything,
cover for me.

I'm tired of covering for you.

Come on, Richie,
don't be mad, we're brothers.

Get out of my school, Rod.

Zack, are you all right?

- I'm not feeling so good, Kelly.
- What's wrong?

Excuse me, could I have
your attention please?

Would everyone gather around?
I have an announcement to make.

Unfortunately, my brother Rod
cannot take you on the class trip.

All: What?

- He can't go?
- Why not?

Well, he's--

he has the flu.

He is very, very sorry
to disappoint all of you.

Great, I guess we won't
be going anywhere now.

- Yeah, let's go home, guys.
- (murmuring)

See you later, Mr. B.

Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hold it, hold it, wait a minute.

I may not be a great
rafting expert like Rod,

or even as cool a guy,

but I'd like to try
and take his place.

You mean, you want to take us?

Yeah, if you don't mind a leader
who can't swim too well.

- Let's go rafting, Mr. B.
- All: Yeah!

We'll have a great time,
Mr. Belding.

- Thank you.
- Sure.

I'll see you on the bus.

Mr. Belding?

Why didn't you
tell them the truth?

- What do you mean?
- About the stewardess?

- I heard everything.
- Oh, you did?

Everything.

I'm sorry you had to hear that.

I know how much Rod meant to you
and I didn't want to ruin that.

Sir, I acted like a jerk.

I'm sorry for the things
I said to you.

I understand, Zack.

Rod always was
the more exciting Belding.

Maybe.
But we got the better Belding.

(instrumental
theme music playing)
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