03x06 - Fourth of July

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Saved by the Bell". Aired: August 20, 1989 to May 22, 1993.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise


Series follows a group of high school friends and their principal at the fictional Bayside High School in LA.
Post Reply

03x06 - Fourth of July

Post by bunniefuu »

(bell rings)

♪ When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning ♪

♪ I don't think I'll ever
make it on time ♪

♪ By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ♪

♪ I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

♪ If the teacher pops a test
I know I'm in a mess ♪

♪ And my dog ate
all my homework last night ♪

♪ Ridin' low in my chair,
she won't know that I'm there ♪

♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow
it will be all right ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

(clears throat)

As you know, this weekend
is our 4th of July celebration.

We have the Staff
versus Member games,

followed by the Ms. Liberty Pageant
and the Fireworks Ball.

Sir, I was wondering, can we switch
a game or two on the schedule?

- What'd you have in mind?
- Instead of barrel jumping,

I was thinking about
hopping over girls in swimsuits

- and calling it bikini jumping.
- Barbarian.

Slater, you're in charge
of the games. Do it right.

- Yes, sir.
- Mr. Carosi,

no one's signed up
for the Ms. Liberty Pageant.

Did you hear that, Mr. Social Director?
Get her some bodies, Zack.

- Can staff members enter?
- Absolutely.

Show that true patriotic spirit.

The winner gets a $500
government savings bond.

- I'm gonna enter.
- Me too.

No you're not, Powers.
You're going as Uncle Sam.

- Did you get your costume yet?
- Yes, sir.

Aside from this studly physique,
you won't even know it's me.

Good.

Oh, ladies-- ladies.

Sign up for the Ms. Liberty Pageant
and you could win a date with me.

- No way.
- Put your home phone numbers down.

Zack, you're supposed to be looking
for contestants not hitting on them.

Jessie, here's the guest list for today.
And keep an eye on the Thorndikes,

they're sneaking in twin guests
and only paying for one.

Hey, Stacy? Why don't you sign up
for the Ms. Liberty Pageant?

- You're good looking.
- Why would I want to do that?

I don't know. Dumb reasons,
like you'd be a part

of the festivities
and it would be fun.

Well, I don't have time for fun.
I have work to do.

Oh, come on. You always
have work to do. Lighten up.

You would be
the perfect Ms. Liberty.

- You really think so?
- Uh-huh. If I were a judge,

I'd vote for you.

- Okay, let me think about it.
- All right. Catch you later.

That's not right.

What's not right?

The tubes should go
before the beams, not after them.

Says who?

Says last year's obstacle course
champion and club record holder.

If you race against me you're
not gonna be this year's champion.

Get real, honey.
You'll be brushing my sand

out of your teeth for a week.

- Oooh, I am so scared.
- You should be.

It's about time
you got this course done.

Step aside
and watch a real jock.

You're not a jock,
you're a joke.

Laugh not, Curly,
I've been bulking up.

Feast your eyes
on this massive muscle.

Uh, I think you left
your muscle in your sweatshirt.

Okay. Watch me,
if your eyes are fast enough.

Help! I'm stuck!

Lisa: Good.

(Screech screaming)

Have you made up your mind, ready to
sign up for the Ms. Liberty Pageant?

I've never done anything
like this before.

What if I get on stage
and forget how to talk?

You?
Worried about talking?

Just make believe
you're yelling at the staff.

- I don't even have a costume.
- Look, I'll help you. Just sign up.

- Okay. Count me in.
- All right.

Well, well, did I hear right?
My little girl

is going to sign up
for the Ms. Liberty Pageant.

Daddy, please don't
make a big deal about this.

I'll be lucky if I make it
past the first round.

Nonsense. You're a Carosi.
Like yeast, we rise to the occasion.

PA: Ms. Carosi,
the Coast Guard just picked up

one of our waiters
floating in a tube.

- Sounds like Screech to me.
- I'll go claim him.

- Morris--
- I know, sir.

An idle employee is an unemployed
employee. I'm on my way.

Relax, Morris.
Work will wait.

- It will?
- Of course, come on.

There's someone
I want you to meet.

Hello, everyone.
Mr. Edgewater, did you hear?

My little daughter's gonna compete
in the Ms. Liberty Pageant.

- I say, that's wonderful, old man.
- I say so, too.

But, I must disqualify myself
from being a judge.

This fine young man
will take my place.

- Me? A judge?
- Yes.

Zack Morris, Miles Edgewater.

Hot!
Hot coffee!

Zack, is it true you're gonna be
a judge for the Ms. Liberty Pageant?

- Boy, news travels fast.
- I'm gonna work hard on my speech.

That $500 savings bond would
come in handy for college.

I bet it would.
See you later, Kelly.

Hey, Zack? I don't
want you to vote for me

just because we've been friends
since we were little kids.

- I won't.
- I want you to vote for me

because of the importance
of what I have to say.

Oh, and I can't wait to hear it.

Hey, Lisa, what would you like?

How about first place
in the Ms. Liberty Pageant?

We're friends.
Got it, bub?

I know it's going to be
hard to be objective

judging the Ms. Liberty Pageant
with so many of your friends in it,

so I'll make it easy for you.

Stacy wins.

Oh, boy.

Come on, Stacy.
Let's see your Ms. Liberty outfit.

No.
It's too embarrassing.

Oh, come on.
I bet you look good in anything.

I look like a firecracker,
don't I?

No, but you could pass for
an extremely sexy Harlem Globetrotter.

- You're crazy.
- Maybe,

but I do know a hot pair of legs
when I see them.

- Really?
- Yeah,

and your smile's
not too shabby either.

Are you working
the Zack Morris charm on me?

Maybe...

- how am I doing?
- Real good.

Whoops!

I'm not interrupting
anything, am I?

No-- no, we were just standing
like that to see who's taller.

Gee, judge, I wonder who
you'll be voting for tomorrow.

Yeah, thanks
for stopping by, Slater.

Don't let the doorknob
hit you on the way out.

Well, better be going.
Big day tomorrow.

- Lot's of things to do.
- Yeah, you're right. Big day.

- Zack--
- Stacy--

Stacy:
You first.

Okay... um... I was wondering

if you want to go
to the 4th of July dance with me?

- Well, sure, that'd be great.
- All right.

- Well, good night.
- Good night.

Stacy, wait. What were you
going to stay to me?

Oh... well... uh...

you are definitely
taller than I am.

- (patriotic music playing)
- (crowd applauding)

Hear ye, hear ye,
The Malibu Sands

July 4th celebration is upon us.
I now call forward

Uncle Sam to ring in the games.

Powers, what are you doing?

Screech, you're supposed
to be Uncle Sam.

Well, I am. This is what
my Uncle Sam looks like.

You're not supposed
to be your Uncle Sam.

You're supposed
to be America's Uncle Sam.

Great, now you tell me. Next time
a little photograph would help.

Just ring in the games.

(bell ringing)

So as my Uncle Sam would say,

have fun, enjoy,
when do we eat?!

Zack: Contestants,
line up for the obstacle course.

All right. We have Lisa Turtle
for the Members' team...

(cheering)

...and AC Slater
for the Staff team.

- (cheering)
- Zack: Yeah, yeah.

- Are you guys ready?
- Absolutely.

- You bet.
- All right.

- You're history, honey.
- Eat my dust, Slater.

(whistle blows)

(cheering)

Can I get you something to rinse
all that sand out of your mouth?

I lost. I lost bad.

I lost to a girl.

Wheelbarrow contestants,
are you ready?

All: Yeah!

Kelly, Jessie, I expect you
to take it easy on us.

We're just a couple of old fogies.
(laughs)

Sure, Mr. Carosi.

Elbows, whenever
you get the chance.

Keep an eye peeled
for concealed weapons.

All right.
On your mark,

- get set...
- (whistle blows)

- That is so unfair!
- Yeah, illegal use of a big body.

Mercy, did I cause an accident?

Slater: Awww!

Why, Lisa, what are you doing
in that cold muddy water?

- I'll go get you a towel.
- Thanks.

Jessie, look at Carosi.

Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

- On three.
- One, two, three.

Heave!

Oh, Mr. Carosi, I didn't
think the game was over.

Both: Sorry.

Here you go, Lisa.
Got you your towel.

Thanks, Slater.
I've got something for you too.

What's that?

Gotcha. Now we're even.

Yeah, you're right.
We are even.

Hey Lisa, what do you say we go
to the dance together tonight?

- I'd like that.
- Good,

that way I can keep
my eye on you.

The four finalists are:
Jessie Spano...

- (crowd applauding)
- Kelly Kapowski...

Lisa Turtle...

I can't believe it.
I'm so proud.

My own little darling,
Stacy Carosi.

Now, each of the finalists will
tell us what the 4th of July

means to them.
First, Lisa Turtle.

The 4th of July
means freedom, liberty,

and 50% off sales
at all major department stores.

Perfect, Lisa.

And now, Jessie Spano.

The 4th of July means America.

Our country.

Well, actually
it's not our country.

It belonged to the Indians
who inhabited--


Thank you
for making us feel so proud.

And now, our next contestant--

forgive me for being moved,

my daughter, Stacy Carosi.

To me the 4th of July
means a time of togetherness,

a time of family and friends,

fun and fireworks.
That's the 4th.

Excuse me.
I just need a moment.

- (clears throat)
- Oh yeah, Kapowski.

To me, the 4th of July
celebrates something

that our ancestors
gave their lives for.

Something that makes our country
stand apart from so many others.

Today, on our nation's birthday,

let us remember that one gift
that makes America so special --

freedom.

Here we go.

One vote for Stacy Carosi.

One vote for Kelly Kapowski.

Come on, Morris.
We're waiting.

And the last vote
for the next Ms. Liberty,

Kelly Kapowski?!

(cheering)

Congratulations, Stacy.
First runner-up is a big responsibility.

Hey, if a meteor hits Kelly,
you're in.

I'll try to stay ready.

Look at them
up there smiling, happy.

It's almost as if
they never broke up.

They used to go out together?

Go out? They were the hottest couple
since Betty and Barney Rubble,

but she dumped him.
He always wanted her back.

I guess voting for her
was the smart way of doing it.

Pretty smooth operator, huh?

- Yeah, pretty smooth.
- (thuds)

Zack, I need to talk to you
about the dance.

Sure. What time do you
want me to pick you up?

Never. It's off.

- Stacy-- Stacy, wait.
- Not so fast, Morris.

- I thought we had a deal.
- Well, I'm sorry, sir.

I wanted to vote for Stacy,
but I had to be fair.

Fair? I didn't make you
a judge to be fair.

But, sir, Kelly was better.
I had to do the right thing.

And so do I...
you're fired.

So, big guy, I hear
Lisa's gonna be your date tonight.

Well, you heard right.

Just remember this: every step
you take, every move you make,

I'll be watching you.

Thanks for sharing.

- Hi, Slater.
- Lisa.

Whoa, you look great.

Yeah, thanks to you
I had a great mud bath.

- Let's dance.
- Let's go.

- Stacy, hi.

You were really great today.
I wish we both could have won.

Yes, well we both
didn't win, did we?

And we both know why, don't we?

No, we both don't. Why?

Because of your boyfriend Zack.

My boyfriend?
What are you talking about?

Zack and I broke up
a long time ago.

Screech told me you were
getting back together.

Screech? Screech also said
that Elvis has

a day-care center
for the Muppet Babies.

The truth is, Zack likes you.

- Really?
- Yeah, really.

You know, being a judge
must have been really hard for him.

Thanks, Kelly. I'm sorry.
I'm gonna go find Zack.

I voted for her, I should
still get that cabana.

Not now,
we'll talk about it later.

Daddy, have you seen Zack?
I need to talk to him right away.

Don't worry, I took care of it.
He's packing his bags as we speak.

Why? Where's he going?

I fired him because he wouldn't
vote for you like I told him to.

Oops.

Like I hoped he would.

You tried to fix
the Ms. Liberty Pageant?

Yes-- I mean, no. I mean,
only because you deserved to win.

Daddy! How could you?

- Peaceful, isn't it?
- Stacy.

- What are you doing here?
- Do you mind if I sit with you?

No, I'm just surprised
you want to.

Look, I'm really sorry
about how I acted.

I got some
wrong information and I--

No excuses. I apologize.

I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have pushed
you into doing the beauty pageant.

No, I'm glad you
pushed me. I had fun.

Really?

Yeah, well, until they
announced the winner.

But Kelly deserved to win.
Her speech was really good.

Yeah, well, your father
didn't think so.

My dad has a lot to learn,

especially about
what a great guy you are.

(slow music playing)

You know, Screech,
you're a really good dancer.

Thanks, Kelly,
but try not to fall for me.

I'm only using you
to make Lisa jealous.

It'll be hard,
but I'll do my best.

There she is.
Hmm... pretend to kiss me.

Screech,
that's a little too obvious.

You're right.
Let's be sly about this.

I'll put my head
on your shoulder.

Hey, Lisa, this could be
my head on your shoulder.

I know, I would
remove it with mace.

Hey guys, check out
who just came in together.

Morris, what are you doing here?
I thought I fired you!

Well, you did, Daddy,
but as assistant manager I rehired him.

I'd hate for him to sue you
for unfair dismissal.

Sue me?
Can he do that?

Yeah-- yeah, he can do that

and I bet you
he'd win big time, too.

I can just see it now,
"The Zack Morris Beach Club."

Now, look. Can't we settle this
like two mature adults?

Let's say I give you
your job back.

Oh, no, I've already got that.

How about the weekend off?

Deal.

The fireworks are starting,
everybody.

Everybody outside!

Happy 4th of July.

Happy 4th of July.

(instrumental
theme music playing)
Post Reply