03x19 - Palm Springs Weekend (Part 2)

[bunniefuu]

(bell rings)

♪ When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning ♪

♪ I don't think I'll ever
make it on time ♪

♪ By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ♪

♪ I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

♪ If the teacher pops a test
I know I'm in a mess ♪

♪ And my dog ate
all my homework last night ♪

♪ Ridin' low in my chair,
she won't know that I'm there ♪

♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow
it will be all right ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

Welcome back to Palm Desert.

Boy, there have been lots
of surprises since we came here

for Jessie's father's wedding.
When we first arrived,

Slater met a girl, but she was more
than he had bargained for.

AC, I would like you
to meet my father,

the King of Lichtenburg.

Zack: Screech made
a major move for Lisa,

but she managed
to sidestep his advances.

Jessie had a mature reaction

to her father marrying
a younger woman.

It's just a shame I'm going
to have to stop the wedding.

Two old flames started burning

white hot for each other again.

...And then Zack kissed me.
Lisa it was so romantic.

My goose-bumps
are having goose-bumps.

Is there romance brewing again?

Well, I do like Zack a lot.

Can the like,
do you love the boy?

Lisa, I'm not saying any more.

You can't give me popcorn
and say no butter.

"Once you've explored changes
in your personality,

impress the girl
with your physical vigor."

- How do I do that, Slater?
- Easy.

Watch.

Jessie, you weren't serious about
trying to stop your father's wedding?

No. I was just upset
about their age difference,

but I'll get over it.
Don't worry.

Hi. Could you give this
to Leslie, please?

Thanks.

- Hi, Kel.
- Hi, Zack.

"Hi, Kel"?
"Hi, Zack"?

So are you two an item again?
Huh, huh, are you, are you?

No, we're just gonna go
work out together.

- How about it, Kelly?
- I'd love to.

All right.

Love, love, love, I knew it.

Hello, AC.

Well, greetings to you,
Your Royal Highness.

Just call me Christina.
Try treating me like any other girl.

Yeah right. No other girl
I know owns her own country.

AC, my father wants to know if
you'll join us for dinner tonight.

Me? Have dinner
with the king?

- I don't know, Christina.
- Don't worry, he'll love you.

Meet me
in the lobby at 8:00.

Hi, everybody. Class is going
to start in just a minute.

Jessie, I'm happy you're here.

Well, I wouldn't miss a class
with my future stepmom.

I'm sure we'll have
oh-so-very-much fun.

- Something wrong?
- Your father and I were gonna have

this quiet dinner tonight,
but the message says he has to cancel.

That's just like Dad,
always canceling.

Dad, do you think
we could go to dinner tonight?

- Just the two of us?
- I already have plans with Leslie,

- but I'd love you to join us.
- I couldn't impose.

I mean, you never
have time by yourselves.

Okay, you twisted my arm.
Let's go.

Hey, look who's here.
Hey, you two, you having fun?

- Yes. Goodbye.
- Yeah. See you later.

Whoa! Check out
those hot-looking guys.

Kelly, you look great.

Thanks, Zack. I wore
your favorite dress.

Hey, I think the dress
looks better on her, Zack.

- Bye, guys. See you later.
- See you later.

I think there's love in the air.
How about you?

Oh no, Lisa, that's my cologne,
Musk of Mustang.

Mmm, giddy-up.

I wonder what's keeping
Christina.

Slater, will you relax?

It takes a princess
a long time to get ready.

- Trust me, I know.
- Lisa, how can I relax?

It's not every day
I eat with a king.

Look, Slater, just be
your charming self.

Be proud of your background
and who you are.

There she is.
Wish me luck.

Well, Lisa my love,
here we are, you and me,

me and you, the last
two coconuts left on the tree.

- What do you say?
- I hate coconuts.

(whistles)

Daddy, AC is the star athlete
at his high school.

Really?

Do you play polo, young man?

No, but I have
a lot of those shirts.

So tell me, sir,
is Lichtenburg a big country?

It's not huge.

- I have three million subjects.
- Yeah?

I only have five subjects.

You know, math,
English, history...

So, how about them Dodgers?

Relax, AC.
Just be yourself.

I'm trying.

Tell me about your father, AC.

- What does he do?
- My dad?

He's in the army.
He's a major.

I mean, a colonel.

- I mean, a general.
- Well, which one is he?

He's all of them.
A major-colonel-general.

- That's quite impressive.
- Thank goodness.

- What about your mother?
- Mom?

Just your average movie-queen-
turned-United-States-Senator.

That's quite a family tree
you have there.

That's only one limb.
Let me tell you about my grandfather,

who owned most of California.

I'm going to splurge
and order lobster.

This is so much fun.

What's happened to Leslie?
It's not like her to be late.

Oh, she's probably
busy at the spa.

All those young,
buff guys hitting on her.

She's so nice to all of them.

David, what are you doing here?

Waiting for you.

But I got a message that you
had to cancel dinner.

I never sent any message.

Strange.

"Many beauties are attracted to
the helpless, goofy, saphead type."

That's me!

"First, smile
and wait for a signal."

Oooh, hey.

It's working!

"Now tell her your name."

- My name is Screech.
- I'm Melissa.

- You're cute.
- Pay dirt!

"If she hasn't hit you,
tell her you love her big--"

Oh!

I love your big... big nose!

- What?
- I mean, your--

your big bottom?

Stop it!
(squeals)

Hey, Jessie, look at your father.
Boy is he in love.

(shouts)

I think Leslie's making
him look ridiculous.

Jessie, I thought you
were over that.

I think it looks like fun.
Come on, everybody.

- Come on, Zack.
- All right.

Kelly:
One, two, three!

PA: Phone call
for David Spano, line one.

I'll be right back.

Your father is quite a guy.

Yeah, I guess, for an older man.

- Jessie, he's not that old.
- Maybe not now.

But how are you gonna feel
in 20 years when he's wearing

his pants up to his neck and you're
still young and wrinkle free?

You know, Jessie, I'm not as bad
as you'd like me to be.

Hi, AC.

I haven't seen you all day.
Are you okay?

- I'm fine, thanks.
- Good.

Then I would like you to join me
and my father for some tennis.

Christina, I...

I didn't bring my racquet.

You can borrow one
from my father. He has 50.

He has 50 of everything.

Look, Christina, it's just not
going to work out, okay?

- We're too different.
- I don't understand.

I made up all that stuff about my family
to impress you and your father.

I'm just an average guy.

Face it, Christina,
I don't fit in your world.

You're caviar and I'm hot dogs.

Hey, Daddy.
Let's race like we used to.

You're on.

Come on, Leslie,
it's every Spano for themselves.

I'll start you guys off.
All right?

- Yeah, great.
- Wait, wait, wait.

Come on, Lisa.
All right, on your mark.

Get set. Go!

- Lisa: Come on!
- Zack: Go, go, go!

Boy, those Spanos sure
take swimming seriously.

Lisa:
Look at Zack and Kelly.

If they get any closer,
they'll be sharing shoes.

Lisa, get a boyfriend!

I love this song.
Slater, do you want to dance?

No way. After what you did
to Leslie in the pool,

I'm scared of you!

Oh, was I too wough on the poor
wittle aewobics instwuctor?

What's an aewobics instwuctor?

That was fun, but all that
dancing made me thirsty.

Yeah, me too.
Waiter!

- Hi, what would you like?
- Uh... Coke.

And for your beautiful date?

Diet lips.
I mean, Coke.

AC, may I speak with you?

Sure.

I like you, AC.

It doesn't matter to me
who your parents are,

or what they do.
But if you are the kind of guy

who hides his head
in the cement--

I think you mean sand.

That too.
Then go, hide,

but I hope your head gets stuck.

You know, we have
a saying in our country,

"Gaveaynu Jormous
Le Dinkenplatz."

- What does that mean?
- It means you're a creep.

Christina, wait.

You're pretty dumb
to be dumping a princess.

This creep has something to say.

Shookitz!
Shookitz!

- What does that mean?
- Wow!

Come on. Let's "shookitz"
out on the dance floor.

You know, I never thought
I'd be dating a princess.

And I never expected to date

a real American cheesecake!

That's beefcake.

Christina, would you be my date

at Jessie's father's wedding?

It would be an honor,
My Lordship.

Gee, cut it out.

This is so romantic.

Yeah.

We've had fun
together again, haven't we?

- Yeah. Fun.
- Even though...

- Zack: Even though?
- Kelly: Huh?

- You were saying, even though...?
- I was?

It was probably nothing.

- Hi!
- Hi, Screech. Having fun?

Not really. Lisa stuffed
a cocktail wiener up my nose.

Cheer up, Screech.
How about a dance?

- Do you mind, Zack?
- No. Go ahead.

Looks like you and Zack
are really hitting it off again, huh?

Well, actually...

I think Zack's getting a little
too serious about me again.

You're not kidding.
The guy's wacko for you, Kel.

See, Screech,
that's the problem.

I don't want to date
just one guy.

Oh, no! So that's why
you wanted to dance with me?

You're cute, Kel,
but I can't do that to my friend.

You'll have to find someone
less desirable.

No, no, Screech.

I have to find
a way to tell Zack

that I just want to be friends.

Don't tell him I told you, okay?

Okay, you two, smile!

(camera clicks)

Jessie, lighten up. You look like
your favorite whale just sank.

How can I smile knowing
that my father's gonna marry

this gold-digging bimbo!

- Oh boy.
- That's it. I've had it.

Ever since we met
you have disliked me.

Oh, you're quick, too.
At least your half a brain works.

You've never even given me
a chance to be your friend.

But this is my wedding day
and I'm not letting you ruin it!

Girl, we have got to talk.

Now if I were Leslie, I would have
slapped you until my hand hurt,

then slapped you
for making it hurt.

Lisa, I don't want her
marrying my father.

It's not your decision.

Jessie, I just saw Leslie.

I want to talk to you,
young lady.

I'll wait outside.

Daddy, I want you
to call off the wedding.

I don't think Leslie
is right for you.

I'm sorry you feel that way,

but I love her,
and she loves me.

But there are
so many other women.

Jessie...

I will always be your father,

but you're growing up
and you'll have your own life.

I want my own life too.

I'm marrying Leslie
and that's final.

Then I won't be there to see it.

Hey, guys.
You look great.

- Has anyone seen Kelly?
- Why do you ask?

After our date last night
I realized something

and I need to talk to her.

No-- I mean-- why talk?
Talking is overrated.

Let's hide somewhere
and not talk.

- Hi, guys.
- Yikes!

Zack, I want to talk
to you, okay?

That's enough talk. Why don't
you guys just look at each other

and have a visual relationship?

- Get off me!!
- No, Zack.

She wants to date other guys,
not just you. Oops.

Kelly, is that true? I mean,
you just want to be friends?

- I hope that's okay?
- It's great!

- I was going to say the same thing.
- See? I told you he'd be destroyed.

- Kelly, we'll always be friends.
- Oh, good.

You guys, you guys, you guys!

- Jessie is not coming to the wedding!
- What?!

She had a fight with Leslie
and her father.

She left the hotel, and she's
heading for the bus right now.

- What are we going to do?
- If she misses the wedding,

she'll regret it
for the rest of her life.

The ceremony
starts in 30 minutes.

Whatever you do,
stall the wedding. All right?

I'll go find her.

Hello.
I'm Reverend Mitchell.

- Where's David Spano?
- Never heard of him.

I know where he is,
right this way.

Yeah, me too.
Follow me, sir.

Hey, this is a formal affair.
You forgot your tie.

Mr. Spano's a real health nut.
I'm sure he's in here.

You said that at the tennis courts,
the putting green, and the pool.

Excuse me,
mind if I play through?

Go away, Zack.
I'm not going to the wedding.

- Don't try to change my mind.
- Okay.

If you want to be selfish
and ruin your father's big day...

Me selfish?! He's the one who's selfish,
marrying someone half his age.

Age has nothing to do with this.
You're jealous because

you think your father loves Leslie
more than he loves you.

- I am not!
- Then why are you running away?

- Because, I don't like Leslie.
- Oh yeah?

Name one thing you don't like.

Well, she's...

and she's...

- and I--
- See? You don't even know her.

Jessie, your father
will always love you,

no matter who he marries.

Go to the wedding.
If you don't you'll regret it forever.

You're right, Zack.
I hate it when you're right.

Thanks.
Can we still make it?

Hop in. Find out.

Oops.

- Ready?
- Yeah.

Hold on.

Murry, when I make this putt,

you'll owe me $1,000!

Fore!!

Not fair!
Not fair!

Gee, will you look at that?

Mr. Spano's been at the altar
all this time.

Now what do we do?

Nothing.
It's too late. Look.

("Here Comes the Bride" playing)

- Zack: Hey! Hey!
- (Jessie screams)

I'm sorry about Jessie.

So am I.

Zack:
Here we go.

You can begin now, Reverend.

Dearly beloved,

we are gathered here today
to join David Spano

and Leslie Eisen
in holy matrimony.

(brakes squeal)

Wait, wait, wait!

You know me, I'm always late.

- I'm glad you made it.
- Leslie: Me too.

Leslie, I'm sorry for all
the awful things I said to you.

Apology accepted.

Now that you're marrying my father,
you're stuck with me, too.

That's fine by me.
I always wanted a daughter.

- Even a brat like me?
- Even a brat like you.

(guests applaud)

(instrumental theme music plays)