03x22 - Rockumentary

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Saved by the Bell". Aired: August 20, 1989 to May 22, 1993.*
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Series follows a group of high school friends and their principal at the fictional Bayside High School in LA.
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03x22 - Rockumentary

Post by bunniefuu »

(bell rings)

♪ When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning ♪

♪ I don't think I'll ever
make it on time ♪

♪ By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ♪

♪ I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

♪ If the teacher pops a test
I know I'm in a mess ♪

♪ And my dog ate
all my homework last night ♪

♪ Ridin' low in my chair,
she won't know that I'm there ♪

♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow
it will be all right ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

Not since the Beatles
and the Rolling Stones

has a group so captured the hearts
and minds of young America.

I'm Casey Kasem here in
the dressing room with Zack Morris

of the Zack att*ck. How does it feel
to be a rock and roll legend, Zack?

It sure beats algebra.

- Zack, Zack!
- No, no. It's okay.

- Zack, please, sign my arm?
- Oh, sure.

I know what it's like to be a fan.
I used to sneak into Paula Abdul's

dressing room twice a week.

Signing arms, kisses,
it's all part of the fame.

And it's the best part.
Well, come on, let's do it.

Thank you. All right.

(screaming)

They've got people outside
that can't get into the auditorium

at all because it's jammed.
And there they are in the hallways.

Here's Lisa Turtle, bass player.
Lisa--

Are you ready? Here she is,
Kelly Kapowski the lead singer.

AC Slater, he's on drums.
And finally, we have on keyboards--

- Pope John Paul?!
- What are you doing?

I'm disguised, so the fans
won't recognize me.

- Slater: Screech!
- Shh. It's Your Holiness.

No. It's Your Dorkiness.
You don't go on stage in disguise.

- Take off that ridiculous costume.
- And what if I don't?

You will go right to heaven because
I will k*ll you and make it hurt.

Okay, g*ng, let's make this
the best concert ever!

- All right, on three.
- One, two, three,

friends forever!

Let's go do our show!

The Friends Forever Tour
kicks off tonight.

But let's go back
to that California garage

where it all began.

Zack: ♪ Through it all,
hanging tough ♪

♪ We're still side by side ♪

♪ We'll be friends forever ♪

All:
♪ Till the end of time ♪

♪ Friends forever ♪

- Zack: ♪ We'll be friends ♪
- ♪ With you everywhere ♪

- ♪ Talking about friends ♪
- ♪ Friends forever ♪

- ♪ They'll always be there ♪
- ♪ Always will be there ♪

- ♪ Yeah, yeah, friends ♪
- ♪ Friends forever ♪

- ♪ Always be friends ♪
- ♪ With you everywhere ♪

- ♪ We'll be friends together ♪
- ♪ Friends forever ♪

- ♪ Yes we will... yes we will ♪
- ♪ Always will be there ♪

Zack and Slater:
♪ Whoa-oa-oa ♪

- Slater: Yeah.
- Lisa: That was good!

That was the best song
you ever wrote, Zack.

- Zack: All right.
- I like the title.

"Friends Forever."
It's pretty cool.

We haven't known each other forever.
If we sing that we'll be living a lie.

As you can see,
Screech was the same even then.

- Screech, we're doing the song.
- No one's gonna want to hear it but us.

Little did they know that fate
was running by their door.

(british accent)
Excuse me, hello, I'm Brian Fate.

I heard your song
as I was jogging by.

- Brian Fate, the record producer?
- Don't you manage the Beach Buddies?

That's right. But I'm looking
for a new group.

The Beach Buddies
aren't buddies anymore.

- Are you really interested in us?
- Does Bart Simpson have animated zits?

- Of course I'm interested.
- All right.

Zack: Band meeting.
Let's huddle.

All: Oh-hh!

Thus began their dizzying
trip to the top.

(soft music playing)

♪ Thought we'd always
be together ♪

♪ I was sure
our love would last ♪

♪ Here I am, all alone ♪

♪ Wondering what went wrong ♪

♪ Did we ever have a chance? ♪

♪ It's hard to see this world
without you ♪

♪ A lonely place
without romance ♪

♪ Here I am, all alone ♪

♪ Wondering
where you've gone ♪

♪ Did we ever
have a chance? ♪

♪ What did we promise
to each other? ♪

♪ What were the words
we said? ♪

♪ Oo-oooooh,
looking back to yesterday ♪

Lisa and Slater:
♪ When we started out ♪

♪ Did we ever have a clue ♪

♪ What love was all about? ♪

♪ Thought we'd always
be together ♪

♪ I was sure
our love would last ♪

♪ Here I am, all alone ♪

♪ Wondering what went wrong ♪

♪ Did we ever
have a chance? ♪

Hi, I'm Mindy Wollitzer
and I handle publicity

for the hottest new band
on the music scene.

- Wow. What band is that?
- Us.

Us? Who are they?

Us is us. I wish I had fangs
so I could bite you.

Any bite would be
welcome, my dear.

"Did We Ever Have A Chance"
has sold over five million copies.

I've invited you all here today
for the band's first press conference.

- Do you have a girlfriend, Zack?
- Well, it depends.

Are you asking me for a date?

I think Zack is still waiting
for the right girl to come along.

Yeah, me too.
But in the meantime

I'm having a blast
with the wrong ones.

Do you guys really
get along offstage?

Oh yes. We're friends first and nothing
could ever come between us.

I really sound like
a goody-goody, don't I?

All: Uh-huh!

Lisa, is it true that you
and Screech are an item?

That is a dirty,
ugly, vicious lie.

They're the best kind of lies.

Zack, since you write all the songs,
where do you get your inspiration?

Girls, I get my best
inspiration from girls.

You know, in fact,
I just got an idea for a new song.

- What's it called?
- "Mindy, Mindy."

- Oooh.
- Well, that about Zack's up-

I mean, wraps up
our press conference for today.

I want to thank you all
for coming.

- Brian: It was a great job, Mindy.
- Thank you.

You had reporters
from all over the country.

- Wasn't she great, Zack?
- Absolutely. And she's still great.

I think you're great too, Zack.

You know,
I think you're great, Kelly.

- I think you're great too, Lisa.
- I think you're all great.

- Do you think I'm great?
- It would be great if you left.

Great! See ya!

The music industry turns out
once a year to honor its finest artists.

The Zack att*ck was nominated
for the biggest award.

The winner--

The Zack att*ck
for "Did We Ever Have A Chance."

(audience applauding)

Thank you.
We're all very excited.

Hi, Mom. I love America.
There I go again.

Thank you. I'd just like to thank my dad
for giving me my first drum set.

Thanks, Dad.

And I'd like to thank my dad for giving
me electric trains when I was three.

Dad, that meant
so much to me. (crying)

I'd like to thank
my mom and my dad,

my grandmother,
my hair stylist and manicurist,

and I'd like to ask Michael
to wait backstage for me.

- Thank you.
- We couldn't have done this alone.

I want to thank
our manager Brian Fate

and my favorite publicist
Mindy Wollitzer,

and everyone for listening
to my music--

I mean our music.
Thank you.

(audience applauding)

That was really nice what you said
about me at the Rock Awards.

Hey, I meant it.
You've helped the group a lot.

I'm more interested
in helping you.

That's my kind of help.

Check this out, Screech. We have
d*ed and gone to babe heaven.

Yeah. Let's sample
some of the afterlife.

Let's do it.

Hi, girls, we're here.

(gasps)
Look who it is!

All right. One at a time.
There's enough of me for everybody.

So, AC, how does it feel
to win an award?

About half as good
as it would feel to win you...

- and you and you and you.
- Oh-hh!

So, do you girls
live around here?

Slater, tell us your deepest,
darkest secret.

Tell them about that contagious
blue fungus you have on your feet.

As I was saying,
do you girls live around here?

You're probably really busy,
but I'd love to take you sailing.

- Sailing, I'd love that.
- It's okay.

I shouldn't have
asked someone so famous.

- Yes you should, I want to go.
- It's all right.

- I'll find someone less beautiful.
- Come back, I like you.

Don't pity me.

What happened here?

Zack! Zack, you've got to see
these new costumes

I've just designed
for the group. Look.

- Lisa, these are great.
- Look at this one.

- Let me see. Oh!
- Thanks.

They're very cute, Lisa,
but we've already asked Bob Mackie

to design some costumes.

Bob Mackie, wow,
he designs Cher's outfits.

We're in the big time now, Lisa.
You understand, don't you?

But, Zack?

Sure.

Mindy, I-- I feel bad for her.

Zack, I've gotten you this far.
You stick with me

- you'll be a star.
- Me? What about the group?

You don't need them.
They're just backup singers.

As Mindy and Zack grew closer,

the band and Zack
grew further apart.

Where is Zack?!
He's over an hour late!

Where do you think he is?

Do you think he was kidnapped
by space creatures?

Same thing happened
to Billy Idol.

Come on, guys. I'm sure Zack
has a perfectly good explanation.

Yeah, and her name is Mindy.

- ...Number one, it's another.
- You think so?

Here you go.

Here you go. Why's everybody
standing around?

Come on, let's do it.

Where did this song come from?

It came from Mindy and me.
We wrote it.

- She can write?
- I suppose you've got something better.

I don't know if it's better,
but we like it.

- Kelly, Screech and I wrote it.
- I didn't know jocks could write.

All right, all right.
Let's hear their song.

All right, you ready, Kelly?
Screech?

Here we go.
One, two, three...

♪ School is a bore
when we're stuck indoors ♪

♪ Make it fun,
put it out in the sun ♪

♪ Hit the beach, teach ♪

♪ Let us learn
while we burn.. ♪

- Well, what do you think?
- It's... it's nice.

Do you really like it, Lisa?

Well, it rhymed.

Here's a rhyme,
we'll sing what's written.

- I'm the writer.
- That doesn't rhyme.

Come on, Zack.
Give us a chance.

(all arguing)

People, people!

This studio costs mucho dinero.

Money! Now let's do
Zack's song now and argue later.

All right.

Here we go,
one, two, three, four.

(pop music playing)

♪ Let's stay together
let's stay together, baby ♪

♪ Let's stay together ♪

♪ Let's stay together, baby ♪

♪ A Flash of light
comes flyin' from your eyes ♪

♪ I get the feelin'
that I'm hypnotized ♪

♪ Oh-oh ♪

Slater and Zack:
♪ It feels so good when you're around ♪

♪ We're moving fast to all those
def groovin' sounds ♪

- ♪ Love me now ♪
- ♪ Let's stay together, baby ♪

♪ Love me now ♪

♪ Please say
you'll leave me never ♪

♪ Love me now ♪

All right!

Who's been spreading
all these rumors about us?

They're not rumors, Zack.
Unfortunately they're true.

What happens in the group
should stay in the group.


There is no group.
Not since she came along.

You're wrong. She is the best thing
that ever happened to me.

- I thought I was.
- Quiet, doofus.

We have a concert in five minutes.
Let's discuss it later.

No, no. Forget later, Brian.
I want to know who gave this interview.

- I didn't.
- I didn't.

- I didn't.
- (whistling)

Screech, how could you
do this to me?

It was easy. They gave me
a free pass to Disneyland

and I told them what I knew.
I'm so weak.

Do all of you think I'm an ego-driven,
self-centered prima donna?

I was misquoted.
They forgot glory hog. Oops!

Is that what you all think?

- You've changed, Zack.
- She's right.

- Kelly?
- I'm sorry.

If that's how you all think,
there's only one thing to do.

- You don't need them, baby.
- You're right. I quit.

- What?
- But Zack, we have a concert.

Let's see how good
you do without me.

- What are we gonna do?
- I think we can-- I'll go get him.

This garage, which gave birth

to so many hopes
and dreams is empty now.

After the break up, each member
went their own separate way.

Casey: Screech searched far
and wide for the meaning of life,

finally seeking the wisdom
of the High Geek.

- Hi, High Geek.
- Hi.

I'm feeling low.
Tell me the secret of happiness.

Happiness? That's easy.

Marry a cheerleader
and live at the beach!

But cheerleaders
don't like me and I peel.

Zap!

Here, take this retainer.
It will bring you good luck.

Thanks.

(chanting)

Send in the next geek.

Casey: Slater didn't know
where he was going.

But he knew
he had to get there fast.

Mindy kept her word.
Zack was a star.

But not the kind of star
he wanted to be.

What's the problem? They loved you.
They absolutely loved you.

Mindy, look at me.
I look like Mr. Madonna.

That's good, baby.
A macho Madonna.

- It isn't me.
- It doesn't matter, it's what sells.

No, no, no. It does matter to me.
You couldn't hear a word I sang.

Who cares? Did you see
the smoke, the lights, the lasers?

How could I?
I was blinded by them.

(phone rings)

Hello? Yes.

Yes. Oh no.

Yeah, I'll be right there.

Where are you going?
We have to leave for London.

I've got to go to the hospital.
Slater's been hurt.

Zack, I'm sorry, but I'm sure
the doctors could take care of him.

- I have to, he's my friend.
- No. You can't.

You walk out that door and you are
throwing everything away.

I already have.

Goodbye, Mindy.

Kelly rushed
from her new role in life

to be at Slater's side.

- How fast were you going?
- Only 275.

I guess I missed the stop sign.

You look great.

Kelly, I look awful.

Do me a favor, stop being Kelly.

Okay, you look terrible.
Are you gonna die?

No, I'm not gonna die.

All right, where is he?
You stupid jock.

Wait, don't hurt me, Lisa.
I just saw you on "US Gladiators."

You b*at up everybody --
including the audience.

Yeah, nobody messes
with Lethal Lisa.

It was dumb going out
and getting hurt like that.

Oww!

Kelly, when did you
become a nun?

I'm not a nun.
I'm an actress on "Santa Barbara."

Hello, my friends.
I've found the meaning of life.

- Her name is Linda.
- Yay, Linda!

- How are you, Slater?
- Okay.

Okay, yay!

S-L-A-T-E-R, yay, Slater!

If you don't get rid of Linda,
I'm gonna throw her out the winda.

B-Y-E. Bye.

- Zack, what are you doing here?
- I just heard about Slater.

- I got here as fast as I could.
- That's how I got here, too.

I never expected
to see you again.

Me neither. Since you're here,
let me hang up your hair.

Don't touch my hair.

You must learn to free yourself
from stress and tension, Zachary.

Look guys, I'm sorry. It was wrong
of me to walk out of the band.

- I hope we can be friends again.
- Of course, Zachary.

Come on, follow me in this chant
"Friends," let's say it.

"Friends, friends."

Well, you've got to admit
Screech does look peaceful.

- Friends, friends.
- Zack: Friends, friends.

- Join hands, join in.
- Friends, friends, friends.

And that brings us
back to the present

and the Zack att*ck's
reunion concert.

"Friends Forever."
It's a nice idea.

(rock music playing)

♪ We met some time ago ♪

♪ When we were
so young ♪

♪ We've been through
thick and thin ♪

♪ We've lost,
we've tied, we've won ♪

- ♪ Friends forever ♪
- ♪ We'll be friends forever ♪

♪ With you everywhere ♪

- ♪ With you everywhere ♪
- ♪ Friends forever ♪

- ♪ We'll be friends ♪
- ♪ Always we'll be there ♪

- ♪ Always we'll be there ♪
- ♪ We'll be there ♪

♪ If you're down
I'll pick you up ♪

♪ I'll never let you fall ♪

♪ If you ever need someone ♪

♪ I'm waiting for your call ♪

- ♪ Friends forever ♪
- ♪ We'll be friends forever ♪

- ♪ We'll be friends ♪
- ♪ With you everywhere ♪

- ♪ Talkin' about friends ♪
- ♪ Friends forever ♪

- ♪ Always be there ♪
- ♪ Always we'll be there ♪

- ♪ We'll be there ♪
- ♪ We'll be there ♪

♪ Through it all
hanging tough ♪

♪ We'll stay side by side ♪

♪ We'll be friends forever ♪

♪ Till the end of time ♪

♪ Friends forever ♪

- ♪ We'll be friends ♪
- ♪ With you everywhere ♪

- ♪ Talkin' about friends ♪
- ♪ Friends forever ♪

- ♪ Always be there ♪
- ♪ Always we'll be there ♪

- ♪ Yeah, yeah, friends ♪
- ♪ Friends forever ♪

- ♪ Always be friends ♪
- ♪ With you everywhere ♪

- ♪ We'll be friends together ♪
- ♪ Friends forever ♪

- ♪ Yes we will... yes we will.. ♪
- ♪ Always we'll be friends ♪

♪ Whoa-oa-oa ♪

- You got your notes?
- Yeah.

- Hey, come on, Zack, wake up.
- What? What?

- We've gotta practice.
- Tomorrow's our first paying jig.

- That's gig, you idiot.
- Oh.

- I just had the strangest dream.
- Will you forget the dream?

We've got to practice
for the Burkowitz bar mitzvah.

- Okay. Let's do it.
- Yeah!

- Here we go! On three.
- Here we go! One, two, three!

(instrumental theme music plays)
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