03x05 - This Sounds Unbelievable, but CSI: Miami Did It

[bunniefuu]

years is a long time to be in a coma.

Things might not be
the way you remember.

Well, as long as I can still
rent movies from Blockbuster

and find work as a travel agent,
I'll be totally fine.

[Laughs]

Mainly, I'm just excited to do this.

[Grunting]

[Inhales sharply]

Ah! Ha! Oh!

- Uhh!
- [Thud]

♪

♪ Angie Tribeca ♪

Detective Geils, you've done very well

on the written portion of
your Lieutenant Training Exam.

Oh, it's really the guy I copied from
who deserves all the credit.

Of course, the real
measure of any lieutenant

is how well he does on his feet.

Therefore, I'm assigning you
your first provisional case.

Oh, a jumper.

Nice.

Now get back here
and show me what you got.

[Calmly] Tribeca, Tanner, get...

[Loudly] Tribeca, Tanner,
get the hell in here!

You wanted to see us, Lieutenant?

For the purposes of this case,

Detective Geils will be
acting as lieutenant.

- A sub?
- Can't we just watch a movie?

Can I go to the bathroom?
It's an emergency.

Now, now! I expect you to afford him
the same respect you afford me.

Do you understand?

Acting Lieutenant Geils?

Okay. Hi, guys.

We've got a lot of work to do today.

- [Thud]
- Who threw that?

[Clatter]

Well, it's mine now.

[Drawer opens, closes]

All right, enough with the nonsense.

I want you two to head down
to the hospital and figure out

how the hell this guy got dead!

Yes, sir, Lieutenant.

Thank you.

- [Farts]
- Nice one.

I didn't put it down yet.

Man: The emergency room
is closed due to an emergency.

If this is an actual emergency...

Ow! Ow! Ow! Emergency! Emergency!

What are we looking at, Scholls?

Before we go any further,

I'd like to acknowledge
the elephant in the room.

I've just received my -week chip

from a gambling addiction program.

That's a casino chip.

- So what happened here?
- Looks like a su1c1de.

We have a deceased male,
mid- s. No I.D.

There's an "A" on his T-shirt, but
we're not sure what it signifies.

Judging by these injuries,

I'd say he fell from
about a thousand feet.

The only wrinkle is, the hospital's
only about a hundred feet tall.

Any chance you got the height wrong?

Is that just from eyeballing it?

No, it's not from
"eyeballing it." I looked at it.

You don't get these injuries
from a -foot fall.

- Was just asking.
- I'll take him back to the lab

and see what an autopsy tells us.

And although stock in my opinion
is at an all-time low,

I strongly believe he didn't
jump from this building.

All right, well, let us
know what you find out.

In the meantime, let's keep
this place on lockdown

until we figure out what happened.

[Indistinct conversation]

[Baby cries]

[Tea pot whistling]

- Mmm. What's this?
- Blood.

I'm examining the effects on blood

in the absence of any
atmospheric pressure.

Don't you have any work to do?

The blood in the fall victim's body
was boiled at some point.

Meaning what?

Someone boiled him
and threw him out a window?

It's difficult to explain,
but blood will actually boil

in the absence of any air pressure...

what's called a "vacuum."

It is my professional opinion
that this man fell from space.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
_

Okay. Cool.

Monica, I know things have
been kinda rough on you,

so if you're still not feeling well...

Look, I know it sounds crazy,

_

but if there's one thing I know,
it's blood and guts

and what happens to them
when they've been sh*t,

bludgeoned, stabbed,
poisoned, strangled, b*rned,

and in one case, caramelized.

And I'm telling you
that someone dropped that man

from over miles into the atmosphere.

_

♪

Tribeca, Tanner, get in here!

[Snaps fingers]

[Sighs deeply] It is of the opinion

of the department forensic specialist

that the man found this morning
in front of the hospital

fell from an extremely great height.

Like a tall building?

Even more extreme.

Like from an airplane?

Like crazy, loco extreme.

Like a... spaceship?

Acting Lieutenant Geils,
isn't there a point

when these cases become so far-fetched

that they're hard to believe?

It's typical for the genre, Tribeca.

Now get your butts to NASA

and tell me how the hell
this guy fell out of the sky.

NASA, like in Florida?

No, NASA in Houston.

So NASA in Houston?

Yeah.

Got it.

How am I doing, Lieutenant?

Considering what you've been given?

Awful. Just awful. I have no faith.

♪

Man: One minute to launch.

Two hours to lunch.

Excuse me. Ms. Craft?

Oh, hello. Welcome.

And it's "missus." I'm married.
[Chuckles] Obviously.

I'm sorry. I'm afraid you've
caught us at a bit of a busy time.

We're about to launch a satellite

that will be able to go
around and around the Earth.

- Telemetry!
- Go!

- Engines!
- Go!

- Thunderbirds!
- Are go!

- Go, Speed Racer!
- Go!

I'm sorry. You were saying?

A dead body fell to the
ground in Los Angeles,

and, uh...
What's a nice way to put this?

A lunatic that I work with
has a theory...

It's just so embarrassing...

Can an astronaut fall
from one of your spaceships?

[Laughs] Yeah, right.

And one day, you'll be able
to say "sh*t" on television.

[Laughs]

And besides, we haven't even sent
anyone up in the past six months.

[Lowered voice] I'm so sorry.
Is this gonna get you

- in trouble with your boss?
- Oh, he's not my boss.

- My boss is another man.
- Mm.

Anyway, thank you for your time.

- Let's go, Tanner.
- Man: ...

- Wait a minute, Detectives...
- ...

- You won't want to miss this...
- , ,

, , ,

, , .

[Bell dings]

Boys! Cookies!

[Cheers and applause]

Oh, these are for the men.

I'll get you a Fresca
and a diet pill later.

You know, actually,

if I'm remembering right,

we did register a rocket launch
out of California yesterday,

from one of those space
tourism companies.

Hmm.

Ooh!

We must have it in here somewhere.

Here it is.

Galaxium Aerospace.

Not sure who was on board,

but would you like me to make
a mimeograph?

- I'll just take a picture.
- Oh, just take the card.

I don't want you to have to wait
for the film to be developed.

Thanks.

Would you like me to take that for you?

- Sure.
- Have a great day.

♪

Galaxium Aerospace is the pet project

of bad boy, playboy, rock star
C.E.O. Sperber Pennington.

Is that the idiot that went over
Niagara Falls on a horse?

[Chuckles] That's him.

Total adrenaline junkie.

Well, let's see if the police showing up

gets his engine running.

♪

[Bird cries]

[Bird cries]

[Panting]

- [Cable whirs]
- [Squeals]

Mr. Pennington?

Angie Tribeca, L.A.P.D.

[Wind blowing, bird cries]

What's up, Detective? You caught me.

I'm collecting some California
Condor eggs for an omelette.

This is an unusual request,

but we're investigating
the possibility of a passenger

from one of your space
flights falling overboard.

What?! [Laughing]
A passenger fell overboard?

From one of my space flights?!

[Continues laughing]

Are you serious?!

You just made my whole millennia.

- You should come work for me!
- [Grunting]

You could be my Vice President of Joy.

- So I take it that you...
- [Cable whirs]

So you're saying
that you can account for

every single passenger on that flight?

- Absolutely.
- Thanks.

I think we got what we needed.
Sorry to bother you.

[Breathing heavily]

Is... Aah!

♪

It's an embarrassment.

It's completely humiliating,
and it's beneath you.

It's just a turtleneck, Tribeca.

What are we doin'?

Everybody's looking at us like we crazy.

Why don't we just say
he fell from a hot air balloon

and call it a day?

This is my first case as Lieutenant,

and I want it solved correctly.

Maybe your first job as Lieutenant

should be to figure out if your
Head of Forensics is bonkers.

That's it. You're staying
on campus for lunch.

[Stomps foot]

This case is making
the department look bad.

Chasing after spaceships...

I'm just sayin',

hot air balloon accidents
happen all the time!

Lieutenant, a little help here?

If I intervene, you'll fail
this portion of the exam.

Well, then maybe I'm not ready
to be a lieutenant, Lieutenant.

Lieutenant.

- Tanner...
- [Files thud]

Get the balloon paperwork.

- That's what I'm talkin' about.
- [Telephone receiver clatters]

I'll deal with our Forensics problem.

- Dr. Scholls?
- Yes?

- We need...
- I've identified our victim.

His name was Allen Fresco.

Missing Persons report filed
yesterday morning.

And that proves...

He was an engineer at Acme Rocket Parts,

hence the "A" on his shirt.

Your point is...

Acme Rocket Parts was a subcontractor
for Galaxium Aerospace.

They built the windshields on
the Galaxium I spaceship.

And that's important because...

Look what I found in his pocket.

Tang.

He was on that ship.

♪

When's the last time
you saw Allen Fresco?

- I saw Al two days ago.
- [Boinging]

We were still working on the fix
for the faulty windshields.

You know, the glass
in the front of the...

I may not be a rocket scientist, sir,

but I know what you're talking about.

Now the windshield,

which powers the vehicle,

you said that they were unsafe?

Only unsafe in the sense that
the windshield would cr*ck apart

the second you left the atmosphere.

Al told them over and over
again it wasn't ready,

but that lunatic Pennington
wouldn't listen.

[Loud clang]

The last time I talked to him,
he said he was going to Galaxium

to try and reason with Pennington.

And if that didn't work,
he would go to the press.

You gotta understand,
Al was a perfectionist.

Even one ship exploding
would've bothered him.

Thanks, Dave. We'll be in touch.

♪

[Whirring]

Salutations, Detectives.

- And how are your ways?
- Sit down, Mr. Pennington,

and keep your New Age
jargon to a minimum.

Oh. Okay. [Chuckles]

May I ask, what was so important

that you had to pull me off Kate Upton?

What does the name Allen
Fresco mean to you?

Nothing.

What about Acme Rocket Parts?

Acme Rocket Parts manufactures

certain components
for the Galaxium I spacebus.

- Like the faulty windshield?
- [Chuckles] Look, Detective,

Galaxium leads the industry in safety.

We're tied with the only other
company that does this.

[Chuckles] That's funny,
'cause the engineers at Acme,

they had major concerns
about that windshield.

[Chuckles]

Allen Fresco's an idiot.

And if I knew who that was,
I would tell him to his face.

Was Allen Fresco on that flight?

No. Absolutely not. Did Rachel
not get you the manifest?

We've seen the manifest,

and we contacted every
single person on there!

And?

And they all agree

that there was no Allen
Fresco on that flight.

- [Whispers] Oh, thank God.
- But...

they all said your
behavior on the flight

was nervous and agitated

and that you entered and exited
the bathroom several times,

completely ignoring
the "Out of Order" sign.

So... you brought me in here
to talk about a broken bathroom?

They also heard an airlock open,

then screams, then the
airlock shut again.

So... you brought me in here to
talk about an airlock opening

and then some screaming
and then an airlock shutting?

I think you pushed Allen
Fresco off that flight

because you were afraid
he was gonna go to press

with his safety concerns
about the Galaxium.

And that's something your
stock prices couldn't afford.

Am I right, Mr. Pennington?

Look, if you want to get a prosecutor

and tell that prosecutor
that Sperber Pennington,

the guy that lived inside
of an orca for three weeks,

pushed a man out of his spaceship

without any evidence
or witnesses whatsoever?

Then you are a bigger
daredevil than I am.

Shalom.

Kickstand up.

[Whirs, thud]

[Whir, thud]

[Sighs] It's just a tight turn is all.

[Whirs, thud]

[Whirs, thud]

- [Whirs, thud]
- [Sighs]

Adios.

- [Whirs, thud]
- Ah! Damn it.

Just the acceleration is
a little... tricky.

- Here we go.
- [Whirring]

No. Yeah. There we go.

♪

So I don't know if you've heard yet,

but it sounds like this spaceship theory

- isn't crazy after all.
- Yeah, I heard.

Just wanted to say I'm sorry.

I think there's someone else
you owe an apology.

Forget about it, Tribeca. I
wouldn't have believed it, either.

But I think there's someone who deserves

a little thanks
for putting all together.

Hey, man, all in a day's work.

I'm proud of you all.

So what's our next move,
Acting Lieutenant Geils?

Thanks, Lieutenant.

Okay. Well, we've already connected
Al Fresco to Pennington.

We just need physical evidence
that Fresco was on that ship.

What judge is gonna give us a warrant

based on the facts of this case?

You don't need a judge when you've got
a lieutenant who bends the rules.

Now you're starting to get it.

Someone's gotta get on that ship,

someone that Pennington's never met.

♪

Now remember, we're just two rich kids

blowing their family's wealth
on a -minute trip to space.

- Copy that.
- [Tone chimes]

[Filtered voice] Afternoon, folks.

This is your captain speaking.
That chime you just heard

indicates that we have left
Earth's atmosphere.

Feel free to relax,
unbuckle those seat belts,

and enjoy all the wonders
of zero gravity.

[Vomiting]

Our movie today, "The Secret Life
of Pets," will begin shortly.

[Buckles clicking]

You seen that movie? It's really funny.

[Laughing]

[Laughs]

[Laughing]

[Rustling]

[Zipper whirs]

[Laughing]

What's up?

There's no doubt Fresco's body
was in that bathroom.

I found his wallet, one of his
shoes, his Pokémon collection,

and what must have been
his lucky chloroform rag.

We've got Pennington dead to rights.

I'm sorry. Who's got who dead to rights?

Galaxium I, this is Houston.

Come in.

They're not responding.

I don't like this. [Sighs deeply]

Miss Craft, I hate to even raise
this possibility, but...

can any of these
monitors show normal TV?

I'm afraid not.

[Whispers] I knew it.

Valium?

You sh**t that g*n, you'll k*ll us all.

I think you're forgetting
about the escape pod.

But unfortunately,
there's only room for one.

Sorry, Marty.

Houston?

[Mouth full] Glulls...

[Spits] Geils!

This is Houston. Go ahead, Galaxium.

Uh, Houston, we have
a bad thing happening.

Geils, what do you need? Talk to me.

I need you to tell me
I would've made a good lieutenant.

You're gonna make a great lieutenant.

- You're coming home.
- You wouldn't be saying that

- if you were seeing what I'm seeing.
- [Grunting]

Scholls is trying to wrestle
the g*n away from Pennington.

She's holding her own, but...

Oh, he was only using one arm.
Now he's using two.

She's good.
Why isn't anyone helping her?

- [Gagging]
- our son I love him.

[Voice breaking] No.

You're gonna tell him yourself,

when he gets home from
boarding school in six years.

- Tribeca?
- I'm here.

I loved being your partner.

Geils...

[Crying]

[Crashing, screaming]

- Aah!
- Geils: Oh, sh*t!

The windshield just cracked,
and Pennington got sucked out!

We're fine!

[Cheers and applause]

Scholls, tape a blanket over the...

Oh, good! You're already doing it!

Initiating auto-return system.

See you guys in !

These are the moments I'm gonna miss
when I get fired for being a mom.

[Exhales deeply]

I passed.

Does that mean I have to start
calling you Lieutenant now?

I passed the first of
cases I have to oversee.

Oh. Well, that's still pretty good.

So I guess this spending
time apart thing

is becoming more permanent, huh?

Seems like that's
for the best right now.

- Okay, partner.
- [Keys jangle]

Happy you're back on
Earth, safe and sound.

Me, too.