04x05 - The Bayside Triangle

[bunniefuu]

[bell rings]

♪ When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning ♪

♪ I don't think I'll ever
make it on time ♪

♪ By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ♪

♪ I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

♪ If the teacher pops a test
I know I'm in a mess ♪

♪ And my dog ate
all my homework last night ♪

♪ Ridin' low on my chair,
she won't know that I'm there ♪

♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow
it will be all right ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

Aah.

I've finally figured out the
best thing about high school.

After graduation, you
don't have to come back.

Do you guys ever wonder
where we'll be a year from now?

Hopefully I'll be at college,

living in
a sorority house.

Good idea, Preppie.
I'll move in with you.

Yeah, and our roommates
will be Tanya, Lola,

and Heather.

I can see it now.

Yo, come hither, Heather.

I can see
the movie now.

"Pigs Go To College."

Hey, guys.

What's up?

What's in the box?

A gift for Lisa.

This is our last year
in school together

and I'm going to win her
heart if it's the last thing I do.

Face it,
Little Screech.

It's never
going to happen.

Did you know your Adam's apple
shakes when you're judgmental?

You've been after Lisa
since you were kids.

She's always turned
you down. Give it up.

What are you saying?

Lisa's not interested.

Au contraire,
my perky pal.

She's just been playing
hard to get for the last...

10 years.

She's not playing.
She doesn't like you.

Lay off.

If you like Lisa,
go for it.

Thanks, buddy.

Guess what?

I can't wait
till you guess.

- You love me?
- Never.

I got the interview.

With the recruiter from
the Fashion Institute?

That's wonderful.

You guys,
this is my dream.

I've got to impress
that recruiter,

do something that
really makes me stand out.

Wear your underwear
outside your clothes.

That's how Dad got Mom.

How about
a fashion show?

A fashion show's
a good idea.

How can I do it
on short notice?

Easy.
We'll all help you.

I'd love to model.

And I love
watching hot women.

He did it.
He said the "w" word.

Slater said women,

not chick, not babe,
not girlie-girl.

Women! It's a miracle!

Sorry, guys.

You were saying?

This means
so much to me.

If you'd help me, I'd be
your friend for life.

We'll meet in the Home-Ec
room after school.

You guys
are the greatest.

Hey,
congratulations.

Thank you.

Lisa, accept this gift as
a token of my affection.

Is it something that
was born or hatched?

No. Go ahead.
Open it.

This is for me?

It's beautiful.

It's real gold!

Why did you spend
all this money?

I didn't.

My aunt Mabel d*ed
and left it to me.

Open it.

I'll be hanging around
your neck forever.

Oh, joy.

Oh, bliss.

Everyone, listen up.

You two help Lisa
sew all the clothes.

Why don't you guys sew?

We'll be finding a
place to have the show,

setting up the lights,
building a stage, et cetera.

I don't like
that et cetera.

It's when we
interview the models.

Et cetera.

I could be a model.

Watch.

He is not
modeling in my show.

We'll figure out
something later.

I'm worried.

What if my designs
aren't good enough?

My college career
depends on this.

Your stuff's the greatest.
Everyone knows that.

Right. You're a
terrific designer.

And you have the most
beautiful hands in America.

I have 16 of your
broken nails at home.

Hey, Zack, I've got it --

what I can do
for Lisa's show.

Sorry, Screech. There's
no room for a burper.

No. I can be
the fashion commentator.

Watch.

Say, Mr. Belding,

that's a great suit
you're wearing.

Thanks, Screech.
I think so, too.

Mr. Belding, wearing a suit
popular 5 short years ago,

has lapels that provide a
hiding spot for used dental floss.

Screech, get outta here.

I can't. I go to
school here. Sheesh!

Well, that was
sorta good, but...

Not really.

Well, then you write
what I say.

But please let me be part
of Lisa's big moment.

Look, I'll ask Lisa, OK?

Great. I'm thanking you
in advance.

Thanks!

Oh, Lisa,
guess what.

You can have a show at the Max.

Zack, you're amazing.

But there's one other little
teensy-weensy minor detail.

Well?

Screech wants to do
the commentary.

I want
a million dollars. So?

Come on.

He wants to help.

No one would describe
your designs with more love.

You're right.

But no.

Lisa, give him a chance.

I'm writing everything
he's going to say.

Trust me.

You I trust. It's him
I'm worried about.

Please.

Oh, OK.

Are you ready, Zack?

Ta-da.

Now, you look incredible.

Yeah?

Well, these clothes
are very nice.

One last touch.

Try this on.

O.K.

How's that?

Turn around.

Mmm, you are
looking smooth.

Well, I hope
you take Visa, Lisa,

because I'm wearing
this stuff home.

Don't get it dirty.

I may design,
but I don't do laundry.

You're going
to be famous one day.

Promise not
to forget us?

I could never forget you.

I wouldn't be doing this
without you.

No problem.

I'm having fun.

Me, too.

- Zack.
- Hmm?

Thanks for everything.

I really mean it.

- Good night.
- Good night.

Good night, Lisa.

Good night, Zack.

You kissed Zack?
That's unbelievable!

We kissed each other.

It just happened.

A big fat pimple in the
middle your forehead

on prom night
just happens.

Kisses require planning.

Aah!

What's wrong?

I just sewed my thumb
to the zipper.

Whatever you do, don't
bleed on the fabric.

Oh, thanks
for your concern.

What happened
to Kelly?

She's trying on the dress
you just finished sewing.

"Halloween, Part 7:
The Fashion Disaster."

Did you even follow
the pattern?

Oh, fine. Blame
the seamstress.

Get me out of this.

Let me help you.

Well, Lisa, aren't you going to tell
Kelly about your romantic evening?

What romantic evening?

Guess who she kissed?

Tom Cruise?

Cold.

Max Nerdstrom?

Eeuyuu! Gross.

I wouldn't even kiss
him with your lips.

Well, then who?

Zack. Right smack on the lips.

You did?

Mm-hmm!

Do you mind if I talk
about my own kisses?

You never wore
the gossip crown?

Zack was
coming on to you?

It wasn't like that
at all.

It was sweet.

You mean you wanted him
to kiss you?

No. Yes.

I don't know.

It happened,
and I liked it.

I'm happy for you.

I bet you would
make a cute couple.

Except I wonder if it
meant anything to Zack.

Why not ask him?

I think I will.

Good. First get my arm
out. It's falling asleep.

Jessie,
hand me the scissors.

I can't. I just sewed my
sleeve to this stupid machine.

Remember, when you get
to the end of the runway,

smile like this.

All right?

How do you know so much
about fashion shows?

A fashion show is
guys watching girls.

I'm an expert.

She's here!
She's here!

The recruiter
from F.I.T. is here.

Sitting
with Mr. Belding.

Boy, she's well-dressed!

Here we go.
It's almost showtime.

All right.

What if she hates it,

thinks my designs are
boring or color's too drab?

I'll die.

Lisa, relax.

But, Zack, so much is riding on this.

All my life I've dreamed
of going to F.I.T.

Just believe in yourself.

You're right.

OK.

I believe in myself.
I believe in myself.

But what if she doesn't
believe in myself?

Me.

What if I used polka dots
when I should've used plaids?

You'll do fine.
Let's get out there.

Way to go, Lis!

Oh, Lisa...

Wait. Um...

About last night...

You mean the kiss?

Yeah. Um...

I don't know
what to say.

It was...

It was... nice.

I thought so, too.

Look, thanks for all
your help on the show.

I really appreciate it.

I love working for you.

Thanks.

Good luck.

Welcome to the first
Lisa Turtle Fashion Show.

I'd like to introduce the
hottest designer of the nineties --

Lisa.

Thank you, Zack.

Thank you for being here.

I especially
want to thank Ms. Parks

from the Fashion Institute
in New York.

I hope you like
what you see.

Now, let our commentator
take over --

Mr. Samuel "Screech" Powers.

Lisa, you truly are the
master of double stitching

and double-crossing.

Aren't these ladies lovely?

The delightful, durable frocks
modeled by Jessie and Kelly,

who'd never treat
their men like dirt,

is pure Belgian wool,

which lovely Lisa has
been yanking over my eyes.

Thank you, girls.
Lovely.

Interesting sense
of humor, that boy.

Next, for the high school
senior with a sporty flair,

Lisa has created a rugged
yet scholastic look.

I hate it.

Hey.

What is he doing?
He's ruining my show.

I don't know. I didn't
write that stuff.

The pants are denim,
the shirt is corduroy,

and the boots, which Lisa
uses to stomp over my heart,

are the finest
Italian leather.

Isn't he just
the wittiest kid?

Thank you, A.C.
You're a good man,

unlike this creep in a
stunning wool blazer.

Are you crazy?
Read the cards.

Model Zack Morris is
wearing the perfect outfit

for stabbing your
best friend in the back.

Thank you, Zack, for
destroying my life.

I'm out of here.

Well, uh...

Why don't I pick up
where Screech left off?

Zack Morris
is modeling, uh...

Uh...

A very nice
pair of pants.

Long pants.

Oh, and they are lovely.

- Handsome.
- Handsome.

And--and--and tan?

Tan.

And a very manly tan
they are, too, Zack.

I can't believe he
did this. I'll k*ll him.

Hey, that's no way
to resolve this problem.

I'll k*ll him for you.

What am I,
mashed potatoes?

I want to
k*ll him, too.

I'm sorry, Lisa.

Lisa.

That was quite
an interesting show.

I am so embarrassed,
Ms. Parks.

Can I have
another chance?

There's no time
for another show.

I'm driving Ms. Parks
straight to the airport.

That bad?

Well, the show was unusual,

but I know fashion talent
when I see it,

and I am recommending you

for admission to F.I.T.

Lisa, that's great!

You do?

You mean I got in?

Girl,
you are too much.

I mean,
thank you, ma'am.

Congratulations, Lisa.

I am so proud,
I could cry,

boy, I just love
these kids.

Once they voted me
Principal of the Year.

I'll tell you more
about it in my car.

Taxi!

Lisa, you'd better
look at this.

I found it by the door.

"To Lisa, the one and only
love of my life.

"I kiss the ground
you walk on

and hope one day
I can kiss you, too."

"Love, Screech."

Oh, no.

I better
go find him.

Screech,
I want to talk.

Go away.

Look, I owe you
an explanation.

Isn't there anything
I can do?

Yeah. Run head-first
into that wall.

I know
I deserve that.

We're best friends.
Let's talk.

You would have told me
you like Lisa.

I didn't know
what happened.

Lisa's got
a real doofus now.

Can't we
work this out?

You stole my girl,
Mr. Bimbo.

Now I'm going
to make you pay.

All right.
What should I do?

Fight for her.

Meet me after school
by the willow trees.

There are
no willow trees.

Meet me by the
oak trees at 3:00.

I'd fight you now,

but I want you
to live in fear.

Poor little Screech.
I feel sorry for him.

You won't
really fight him.

Of course not.

You'd better
think of something.

Screech is ready
to b*at on your bones.

Hi.

Hi. Did you
find Screech?

Yeah, I did.

He's, uh, really upset.

What happened?

He wants to break me
in 2 million pieces

and sell me
as a jigsaw puzzle.

Oh, no. What are we
going to do now?

I'm not sure.

I guess that kiss
really shook him up.

Yeah, well, Zack...

That kiss really
shook me up, too.

In fact...

it scared me a little.

I never planned
for this to happen.

It wasn't in my
date book, either.

I don't know what's
happening between us, Lisa,

but it feels good
inside.

It sure does.

First I got to solve
my problem with Screech.

Yeah.

Hey. There you are, Morris.

The school's betting on
your fight with Screech.

Oh. Terrific.

You mean somebody's actually
betting that Screech might win?

Wake up and smell the Bosco.

We're betting on how
many teeth he loses.

I picked seven,
so go easy on him.

[bell rings]

Morris.

You've got an
appointment with fate,

and fate's
got curly hair.

Can't we work this out
another way?

Oh. You're chickening out.

That yellow streak extends
from your hair down your back.

Screech, fighting
never solves anything.

Ho... wa! Wa!

Stay out of this, Slater.
It's not your fight.

I wouldn't want to have
to hurt you, too.

Wa! Wa! Ha ha wa! Wa!

I'm not going
near that loon.

Ha! Ah...

Screech, please.
I don't want to fight you.

So, you're not only
chicken, you're scared, too.

Don't do that.

Come on, wimp.
Fight.

Look, I'm sorry
I hurt you, all right?

Sorry? You're sorry?

You were my
best friend, Zack.

You could have had
any other girl in school.

Why Lisa?

Why did you have
to steal my dream?

I hate you.

If it bothers you,
I won't date Lisa.

What?

You really mean it?

Sure.

Fine.
Don't date her.

Oh, that is it.
This boy's life is over.

Screech, you have no right
interfering in my life.

But I love you.

I know.

But it's time
to get over me.

Screech, you're
not my boyfriend.

You never were.

Now, Zack likes me.

And I like him, too.

Zack, would you really
give Lisa up for me?

Yeah. I wouldn't
want to hurt you.

Really?

Yeah.

Really?

Really.

Well, Lisa,
I... I guess you're right.

I guess it is time
to let you go.

You weren't mine
to begin with.

You were my first love, Lisa.

I'll never forget you.

I'll never forget you,
either, Screech.

Thanks, Screech.
Friends?

Aw, shucks. Friends.

Go ahead and take her.

But treat her well,
or I'll come after you.

Screech, that was a very
noble thing you just did.

Losing your first love
is never easy.

That's true.

But I've learned it's...
time to move on.

I'm sure there's
someone for you.

When you find her, don't
take no for an answer.

You're right.

Jessie, have I ever told you how
much I adore your Adam's apple?