04x12 - Class Rings

[bunniefuu]

[bell rings]

♪ When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning ♪

♪ I don't think I'll ever
make it on time ♪

♪ By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ♪

♪ I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

♪ If the teacher pops a test
I know I'm in a mess ♪

♪ And my dog ate
all my homework last night ♪

♪ Ridin' low on my chair,
she won't know that I'm there ♪

♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow
it will be all right ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

All right. Let's get
this meeting started.

Wait. Someone missing?

Zack and Tori aren't here yet.

Tori? She's never late.

Eh! Not until she
started dating Zack.

Sorry we're late.
We were, um...

Studying in the--
the, uh, library.

- Yeah. Right.
- Yeah. Right.

Say, did that new book
on earthworms come in?

Yeah. It's got
your face on the cover.

No, it doesn't.

All right. All right.

We are here to discuss
your senior class rings.

I've got it.

We could buy a ton of cr*cker
Jacks and hope we get rings.

I'd rather dip you in caramel
and stuff you in the box.

Ooh, let's go with
the traditional cut --

the Bayside crest on one side

and the class year on the other.

Ox, that actually makes sense.

Did you have brain
surgery over the weekend?

I don't think so.

It's all right. It's
a very good idea.

Who wants to be in charge,

sort of like the ring leader?

I'll do it. I can get us
a great price.

Deal is my middle name.

I'll buy one class ring for now
and one for next year.

Prices always go up.

You won't be here next year.

You're a senior, you idiot.

Why do you always
treat Screech like dirt?

I don't treat Screech like dirt.

It's more like sludge.

You're mean to him.

If Screech had been bugging
you since the first grade,

you'd want to park
your bike on his face.

I admit he's a bit odd,

but he's our friend.

It's obvious you've never been
to the movie with the boy.

You'd want to k*ll him
before you bought tickets.

I bet I wouldn't.

If I go to movies with Screech
and not be mean,

would you be nice to him
for the rest of the year?

Sure. When you
break out in a rash,

don't blame me.

Fine.

I don't know. Maxwell, of
course you want three rings,

one for each ring finger
and a spare.

I'm too smart for you, Morris.

I'll only take two.

Excuse me, Zack.

I realize you're busy
ripping that dork off,

but I've got to ask
you something.

Don't worry. You're my girlfriend,
you'll get a great discount.

That's not what I meant.

I'm trying to prove
something to Lisa.

Would you have a problem
if I went out with Screech?

If you want to hang
out with Screech,

that's your problem, not mine.

Thanks.

No problem.

Uh, your victim is getting away.

Ooh! I'll see you later.

Maxwell, hold up.

I haven't talked to you
about toe rings.

You go to the beach, don't you?

Yes, and the beach
bunnies love me.

Screech, would you like to go
to the movies with me tonight?

Great. Wait a minute.

I know I'm irresistible,
but Zack is my best friend.

Zack doesn't mind.

Ah, an open relationship.

I can dig it.
I'm sophisticated.

When should I have
my mom pick you up?

I got some popcorn, licorice,

and Mr. Snooter's Gumballs.

This should last till
my first bathroom break.

Or until you get a major zit.

What did you get for me?

You? Nothing. Oh, here.
Have some popcorn.

Great. She's going
for the popcorn.

I feel like I'm spying
on my girl and my best friend.

You are.

My special sauce
has quite a kick, huh?

What's in it?

Brazilian horseradish.
Have some more.

No, thanks. I'll stick
with Mr. Snooter's.

Wow. Way to go, Tori.

It looks like a year
of kissing up to Screech, Lisa.

Shut up or I'll
rip those lips off.

Ooh, ooh.
Watch this guy.

He's the k*ller.

Screech, don't tell me.

Look, I'm not
going to get upset,

but you just told me
the end of the movie.

The end's the big surprise
where the monster explodes.

I see.

You guys, this
doesn't look good.

I can't believe Tori hasn't
slapped him silly yet.

[dramatic music swells]

It's O.K., Screech.

They saved Tokyo
just like you said.

Why are you crying?

I just hate it
when the monster dies.

I loved that guy.

You've seen that movie
five times.

You knew he was gonna die.

I know, but I keep hoping
they'll change it and let him live.

Let's go.

Wait.

I can't find Arnold!

Arnold! Yes!
I still have a chance.

Arnold?

Oh, here he is.

Here's my pet mouse.
He loves the movies.

You brought a mouse
to the movies?

He is kind of cute.

Life as I know it is over.

Ah, here comes my ring salesman.

You're buying our rings
from him?

Hey, trust me, huh?

Hi, I'm Zack Morris.
You must be Mr. Diamond?

Absolutely correct!

But my friends call me Gem.

My card.

"Gem Diamond --
jeweler, ringologist,

and G.G.T.K."?

Good guy to know.

So, buddy, you're interested in
buying some college rings, huh?

No, no.
High school rings.

Oh, oh, oh, my mistake.

You've got that mature
college look.

Well, I will be in
college next year.

Ah, there you go.

Let's cut to the chase.

You look like a man
of fine taste.

Let me show you my line.

Bada bing!
Bada boom!

What we have here
is a fine sampling

of ladies' rings, men's rings,

and oh, oh!
You don't want this one.

If I've told her once,
I've told her a hundred times,

"Ma, don't put the Greco
Roman 3000 in the showcase."

It looks like
a really good ring.

It's the best!

But every time I sell
this ring, I lose money.

There's a misprint
in the price guide.

That's the one I want.

I'm sorry, but I made
a vow to my dead dad

that I would never
sell this ring again.

I'll have to buy 300
rings somewhere else.

You don't have to twist my arm.

Oh, you b*at me.
You win.

We still haven't talked price.

Well, how does this grab you?

$99 a ring?

No. That's too much.

I can get them cheaper.

Tell you what I'm going to do,
but only because I like you.

That is much better.

There's one more thing.

I want my ring for free.

Gem Diamond doesn't give
anything away for free.

I could convince my principal to
buy some rings from you next year.

Ah, ah, ah!
You got me again.

O.K. Look, all you have
to do is sign right here

and call me when you
get all the ring sizes.

Yeah, that's, uh, fine.

Well, I did it.

You're looking
at a master negotiator.

Got us the best prices ever.

- All right, good going.
- Yeah.

Here he comes, Lisa.

Make nice.

Hey, Screech.

Hey, buddy.

Why, hello, there, Screech.

How are you today?

I'm terrific.

Tori and I are in love.

Hi, guys.

[all]
Hi.

We just saw Screech,
and he told us the good news.

Yeah, he told us all
about you two being in love.

What? I'm not in love
with Screech.

You mean, it's all in his head?

Gosh, that's so unlike Screech.

You're in it
up to your eyeballs.

We just went to the
movies. It's no big deal.

Hello, my love.

These are for you.

I can't take--

Tush!
Don't say a word.

I can see the flames
of passion in your eyes.

Screech, we need to talk.

We have so much to
learn about one another.

I don't know what kind
of deodorant you use --

spray or roll-on.

[bell rings]

Ta-ta, my lovely.

Screech, you're a nice
guy, and I like you, but--

Oh, I get it. You're
worried about Zack.

You don't get it.

This won't work.

I like bikes.
You like bugs.

I see. My bugs bug you.

I'll get a can of Raid
and take care of them,

even my flea circus.

Uh, Screech, wait.

All right, seniors.
Your class rings are here.

Come and get them.

All right.

Ox.

Maxwell.

Wait. This guy made
300 rings overnight?

Yeah. Told you
he was the best.

Lisa, Lisa.

- Here you go.
- Thanks.

Tori, here you go.

Ohh! You're alone?
Where's your boyfriend?

Slaughtering thousands of
innocent insects in the name of love.

You mean the honesty
approach didn't work?

Quel suprise!

Zack...

Sweetheart...

Honey...

I need help.

Please.

It's almost a shame
to break those two kids up.

Screech is starting
to bother Tori.

I'd like my girlfriend back.

He's coming. Go hide.

Go.

Uhh!

[humming]

Oh, hey, Screech.

Have you seen Zack?

Man, he's really been
bummed since he lost Tori.

Ah, a broken heart.

I've been there many times.

There he is.

Screech, listen,
you're his best pal.

Why don't you try
to cheer him up?

♪ Oh, Zack ♪

Boogie, boogie, boogie.

What are you doing?

Trying to cheer him up.

Try something else.

Hey, buddy. Want
to talk about it?

Well, it's just that
I miss Tori so much.

She's a great girl.

Ahh, I can understand.

Is there anything
I can do to help?

Well, there is one thing.

Nah, forget it.

I can't ask him to do that.

Of course you can.

I'd do anything for you.
Just name it.

O.K. Would you stop
going out with Tori?

What are you, nuts?

Find a hobby.

Guess who, my leather angel?

Oh, gee.
Could it be... Screech?

Darn! I'm going to have to start
washing my hands after biology.

Tori, what say
we cement our love,

and you wear my ring?

Oh, Screech, that's sweet,

but I've already
got mine. Sorry.

You're supposed to wear your
boyfriend's ring around your neck.

Screech, you're not my--

Tut tut tut. Shh!

We'll discuss while we dine.

I hope you like
brussels sprouts.

Oh, Tori, there you are.

Um, about the plan,
didn't work.

Yeah. So watch out for Screech.

Too late.
We're engaged.

Well, if it isn't Zack
deal-is-my-middle-name Morris.

What's the matter?

This is.

Your gold ring left a
green stain on my finger.

I don't understand.
Why would it do that?

Because it's not gold.

Duh.

You got ripped off.

Well, maybe it's just yours.

Uh-huh.

Well, maybe it's just ours.

There he is.

Maybe it's just everybody's.

[ring]

Gem Diamond ringologist.

Yeah. Hi, Gem?
It's Zack Morris.

Oh, um...

Gem's not here right now,

so please leave
a message at the beep.

No, gem.

Look, I've got trouble.

Because of your phony rings,

the whole senior
class has green fingers.

What's that got to do with me?

You ripped me off.
I want my money back.

Sorry. All sales are final.

Have a nice day.

Oh. Slimeball
hung up on me.

What am I going to do? I'm dead.

- Yup.
- Yup.

Look at the bright side.

At least Screech isn't
in love with you.

It's nice to have
that boob off my case.

Think positive.

Maybe he'll fall
for someone else.

Even I'd go out with him

if it would get me
out of this ring jam.

So would every green-fingered
girl in the school.

That's it. Tory,

I've got a way to solve both of
our problems at the same time.

Before I call gem again,

I need you to get
Screech really steamed up.

Then what?

Slater and I will
take care of the rest.

Jump, zondo. Jump.

I've got to show you something.

Oh, Tori. It's, um,
not what you think.

This isn't my flea circus.

No. It's--

it's...

Oh, you caught me.

I couldn't k*ll them.

I love the little guys.

It's O.K. I don't
care about the fleas.

Really?

Then would you like to see zondo
jump through the flaming hoop?

I've got to show you something.

Oh, no.

Did you get a hickey
from a Martian?

The guy that sold
these rings is a crook.

It's not real gold.

The scoundrel.

It just breaks my heart to see
the first true symbol of our love is...

tarnished.

Don't worry, Tori.

I can always
buy you another ring.

That's not enough.

Somebody has to teach
this guy a lesson.

I think he's at the Max.

You're right. He's made a
mockery of our passion.

I'll tear him limb from limb.

Zondo?

Oh.

That does it.

This guy is toast.

Thanks for coming.

Your second phone call
intrigued me.

Tell me more about
your change of heart.

Step into my office.

This is my associate
A.C. Slater.

What's the A.C.
stand for?

Abnormally cruel.

Yee-ah!

Gem...

Let's cut to the chase.

I am very impressed
by the way you ripped me off.

It's nice to be appreciated.

I thought you and your
buddies are upset.

Who cares about them?

I got my ring for free.

Here's the deal -- we
should become partners.

What do I need you for?
Me and Ma do fine.

'Cause I'm a teenager,

and I can get into any school

and convince kids
to buy rings from you.

I like the way you think.

What's the muscle for?

Slater?

You see, he will convince anyone
who needs convincing.

Right.

Like this.

So...

what do you say?

What do I say?

Bada bing!
Bada boom!

Where is Screech?

If Tori did her job,
he'll be here any second.

Whoa-woo!

Hey, you,
Mr. Ring guy.

- Uh-oh!
- Uh-oh!

I'm here to defend
the honor of Tori

and all the green-fingered
girls at Bayside.

Tough guy, take care
of this punk!

Right.

Ah!

Step aside.

I'll teach this guy
a lesson ninja style.

I can't let you
do that, Screech.

Ooh.

Ooga!

Booga!

Uh!

Do something... partner.

Screech, heh heh heh.

Buddy, huh, can't we
be reasonable here?

Tell that to zondo.

Whoo!

Oh!

Oh.

All right, you scumbucket!

Replace those phony
rings with real ones

or else...

Whoo! Ooh!

Aye! Aye! Aye!

You got it!

I'll get you all new rings.

I promise, only don't hurt me!

Please!

Ma, start the car!

Yes! I can't believe
that worked.

We'll get our new rings.

And Screech is a hero.

Bada bing!

Bada boom!

Hey, Maxwell,

here are your brand-new rings,

and this time, they're real.

Now that's fine
craftsmanship, Morris.

I got two hot babes
waiting for these.

Hey, guys.
How you doing?

Slater, here's your ring.

Thanks.

Lisa.

Hey.

"24-karat gold."

Works for me.

Listen, guys, I'm sorry I had
to rough you up at the Max.

I was in a blind rage.

Hey, no biggie, Screech.

We understand.

Oh, in fact, here's your ring.

Screech, will you take
me to the movies tonight?

He promised to take me
to the moth museum.

- No. Me.
- No. Me.

Excuse me, my lovelies.

Tori, I don't mean
to break your heart,

but I think maybe we
should call it quits.

O.K., Screech, if--

if-- if you say so.

But before you
break down into tears,

let me explain.

There's so little of me
and so many of them.

I understand.

You're very wise.

I know.

So, I, uh...

hear you're on the rebound.

Yeah.

I don't know if I'll ever be
able to get over Screech.

Oh, yeah?

Would this help?

Uh, it's a good start.