04x21 - Earthquake

[bunniefuu]

[bell rings]

♪ When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning ♪

♪ I don't think I'll ever
make it on time ♪

♪ By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ♪

♪ I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

♪ If the teacher pops a test
I know I'm in a mess ♪

♪ And my dog ate
all my homework last night ♪

♪ Ridin' low on my chair,
she won't know that I'm there ♪

♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow
it will be all right ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

[panting rhythmically]

Mr. Belding,
Mr. Belding, are you O.K.?

Did you have chili on
your cheerios again?

I'm practicing
for childbirth class.

During labor, Mrs. B will need
coaching to control her breathing,

and I want to be the best
breather she can have.

You'll do fine. No one
blows hot air like you.

Oh... uh...
the baby.

Still due on the 15th, right?

In two weeks I'll be a
father. Can you believe it?

Two weeks. I've got
to practice harder.

[panting]

15th.

Let's see.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

All right, people! Step right up!

The Baby Belding Pool's
officially open.

Predict the birth date
and win big bucks.

How much is it to play?

It's 10 bucks
for every day you pick.

Give me the 11th.

That's the number
of hairs on my chest.

That'll be 15 bucks.

I thought it was 10.

There's a $5.00
handling fee.

All right.

Still ripping off the nerds?

I prefer calling it
overcharging the less cool.

Let me guess-- the
baby's due on the 15th.

How'd you guess?

Because you've got it
and the days around it.

It's my pool, and I'll
cheat if I want to.

Zack, you said
I'd get first pick.

Now there's hardly
any days left.

I'm sorry, Screech.

To show I'm fair,

I'll give you today and
tomorrow for half price.

You call that a deal?

Fine. I'll give you all
of last week, too.

Now you're speaking my language.

Pack it up, Zack.

We've got a physics
midterm in two minutes.

Physics midterm is today?

Isn't that great?
It's going to be a k*ller.

How could you forget about
the biggest test of the year?

I didn't really forget.
It's no big deal.

I'm dead.

Welcome, mein kinder.

Ready for our little
examination?

I couldn't sleep last
night I was so excited.

Please tell me you've filled
the test with brain-busters.

Mein Screech, I, myself,
could not answer zem all!

Wunderbar!

Mr. Heimlich?

I'm feeling hot and tingly.

Maybe I should skip the
test and go see the nurse.

Nonsense! You're just excited
about ze examination.

Let's begin, ja?

[buzz buzz buzz buzz]

All right!
Earthquake drill.

Everyone, underneath your desks.

Penny, Brenda, under with me.

[giggling]

What's going on? What's
an earthquake drill?

You just practice protecting
yourself from falling debris.

Besides, it gives you a
chance to do your nails.

Couldn't we do a fire
drill? I'm better at those.

There's nothing to it.

Just get under your desk,
tuck yourself into a ball.

Excuse me...

Mr. Heimlich?

Ja?

Shouldn't we be evacuating
to the football field?

Absolutely correct, Herr Morris.

Come.
We march to safety.

But, sir, what about ze test?

Screech, don't bother
Mr. Heimlich with trivial things.

He is in the process
of leading us to safety.

For you, Herr Screech,

tomorrow's make-up
will be a doozy!

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

What is going on here?

Where's everybody coming from?

The football field. We just
had the earthquake drill.

I didn't hear any--

Oh, my gosh.

I must have passed out
doing my breathing exercises.

I gotta stop thinking about that
kid so much when I'm at school.

You won't have any more
problems today. School's over.

School's over? Oh, no. I'm
late for childbirth class.

How close are we to an
earthquake fault line?

Will we get sucked
into the ground?

Girl, give those lips a rest!

What's going on?

Tori's going on and on and on!

She's been rattling my brain about
earthquakes ever since the drill.

Tori, you're not afraid
of earthquakes, are you?

Hey, just think of it
as land surfing.

I'm not afraid.

I've just never experienced
one before. I'm curious.

I wouldn't worry about
the actual earthquake, Tori.

It's the floods, fires, and
looters that'll k*ll you.

This stuff really happens?

Yeah. Sometimes there's
mega after-shocks.

The best was in the
movie "Earthquake."

Total destruction.
Way cool.

You ought to
rent the video, Tori.

It's like you're really
in an earthquake.

Gee, I can hardly wait.

We don't have to.
It feels like this.

Hi, everybody.

Hey, Tori.

Tori, you can
take off the helmet.

The booth is pretty safe.

Oh, yeah.

Right.

So, Tori, what's in the bag?

Oh, nothing.

Some snacks, stuff for later.

Oh.

So, are you planning
a weenie roast?

The truth is this is an
earthquake survival kit.

There's nothing wrong
with being prepared.

No, and the hot dogs
make a great choice.

You can cook the hot dogs at
any of the unstoppable gas fires.

A real survival kit
has canned foods,

batteries, bottled water,

stuff like that.

You've really got
to stop worrying.

Yeah, she's right. There's
more frightening things --

tomorrow's physics test.

Oh, no.
What did I do?

It must have been bad if he came
all the way to the Max to get you.

Mr. Belding, Zack's
here. Sit with us.

You were born an idiot,

and you're still an idiot.

Slater, could you
slide over? Thank you.

Mr. and Mrs. B,
what brings you here?

We were on our way home
from childbirth class

when Mrs. B had a
sudden food craving.

I think I'd like french
fries with hot fudge.

Are you sure you want fries?

You look a little heavier
than the last time I saw you.

Screech, you haven't seen me
in almost nine months.

I've put on 30 pounds.

30 pounds? Mr. B,
86 those fries.

It's diet time, lady!

Mrs. B, have you had
a baby shower?

Oh, several.

Seems like everybody I
ever met threw me a party.

Except us.

We sort of had a shower planned
for you tomorrow.

- We did?
- We did?

Yes. Tomorrow.

During 7th period.
Remember?

Oh, that's right!

- 7th period.
- Oh, yeah!

Oh, kids, that is so sweet.

But what about physics?

We were sort of hoping you
could speak to Mr. Heimlich, and--

Never mind, sir.
It was wrong to ask.

Ask what?

Well, we're too afraid
to ask Mr. Heimlich

to be excused from class.

He is scary, sir.

You're probably
afraid of him, too.

Hah!

I can outmaneuver Heimlich.

Hee hee.

Let me handle it.

Tomorrow, 7th period,

everyone has permission
to come to the shower.

That's nice! Oh!

Oh...

I didn't think you'd be
that happy, dear.

I'm not happy.
I'm in pain.

The baby! Oh, no!

The baby's coming now.

O.K., stay calm! Relax!

I'm in control. Let's
get you to the hospital!

Hey!

Are you sure it's just
an upset stomach?

I guess all those
french fries got to me.

I have the same problem
whenever I eat garbanzo beans.

Gosh, I'm sorry, Becky.

I don't know how
I made such a mistake.

The car's running.

Honey, wait.

It's not labor, just a
bad case of indigestion.

Happens every day at the Max.

Really? No labor.

False alarm.

That was a close one.

I'm exhausted!

Oh!

Me, too.

Richard, I think I'll need
something to settle my stomach.

Would you order me a ginger ale

with a big scoop
of peanut butter?

Gosh, that's my favorite
combination, too!

Well, Screech,
maybe you're pregnant.

Oh, Lisa, don't be ridiculous.

I'm not even married.

Here you go, Mrs. B.

This gift will be good
for a boy or girl.

A very large boy or girl.

How nice! The baby
will grow into it.

Yeah, like in 16 years.

These you'll love.

A shower cap,

shampoo, and...

Soap on a rope.

Thanks.

You peanut brain! Why did
you get those weird gifts?

'Cause this is a shower,

and some people
use soap in the shower.

Duh.

Anyway,

this gift is for
you, Mr. Belding.

A gift for me?
I can't believe it.

If you don't want it,
I'll take it.

Oh, great.

This is the most important
coaching I'll ever do.

My sister had a baby last
year, and I was her coach.

You'll do great,
Mr. Belding.

You guys are terrific.

Thank you for the baby shower.

Anytime. No problem. Mrs. B.

Thank you, Slater.

[bell rings]

Oh, man!
7th period is over.

We missed the physics test.

Oh, yeah.
Too bad.

Don't worry.

I arranged for Mr. Heimlich to
give you the midterm on Monday.

That gives him two extra
days to make it really tough.

That gives me two extra days
to figure out how to k*ll you.

We'd better get
going to the swim meet.

Thanks again.

I'll take some of these
to the car.

Let me help you.

O.K., great.

Uh... oh, drat!

I must have left
my keys in my office.

Becky, I'll be right back.

- Mr. Belding?
- Yeah?

We'll take Mrs. Belding
down the faculty elevator

and meet you at the car.

You need keys to the elevator.

Don't worry.
I already have one.

You have a key to
the faculty elevator?

Yeah. It's
a safety precaution.

In case all the teachers
are rendered helpless,

I'm next in command.

We'll see about that.

Come on, Screech.

There you are.

Right this way,
Mrs. Belding.

All right.

By the way,
Mrs. B,

I'd really appreciate it if you could
have the baby around the 15th.

Why, Zack?
Are you running a pool?

Talks about me at
home, doesn't he?

[rumbling]

[screaming]

W-What's happening?

I think it's an earthquake.

An earthquake?
Are you kidding me?

It's an earthquake!
Get into a doorway!

Oh, my gosh!
It's a volcano!

No, Screech, it's an earthquake.

Don't panic.

Aah!

Quick, get under my desk.

Oh, no!
Becky's in the elevator.

When's it going to
stop? Make it stop!

Calm down.
We'll be O.K.

Oh!

The lights!

Calm down!

Did we make it
to the ground floor?

I think we lost power.

Those are the emergency lights.

The shaking stopped.
Is it over?

I think so.

What's wrong?

Why won't the elevator start?

We've got to get out.

We have to wait till
the power comes back on.

Don't worry. They'll have us
out of here in no time.

That's not it.
I'm having the baby!

You're having the baby now?

Y-Yes.

No, you can't.
There's no doctor.

Besides, today's not my day
in the baby pool.

There's going to be
an after-shock.

Sorry, Zack. It's sort
of out of my hands.

I wish Richard were here.

He's such a calming influence.

I've got to get to Becky!

I'll help you, sir!

Will you just follow me?

Right.

Here, hold this.

Whoops!

Oh!

Oh, great!

I'm locked in my office.

I can't get to my wife.

Maybe the phone works.

It's dead.
Now what?

I've got an idea. Bring
me the shower gifts.

What are you going to do?

I saw this on MacGyver when
he had to break out of a room.

How can I help?

Looks like I'm going to
need the baby key ring

and the soap on a rope.

Baby key ring.

Soap on a rope.

[whistling]

Screech!

O.K., if I insert
the key just like so

and turn it like--

Oops.

What do you mean, oops?

I'm going to need one
of the stuffed animals.

What's this for?

To keep us entertained. We're
going to be in here for a while.

Hello, Mr. Belding.

I'm Harry the Hippo.

I'll get us out of here!

Help!

Lisa, I think it's O.K.
to come out now.

The quake's over.

What happened to your clothes?

Hmm? Oh, the lockers fell
over when I was changing.

I couldn't get them out.

I'm glad I wasn't in the shower.

Here, put this on.

It might be tight,
but it matches.

Help!

- Help!
- [in hippo voice] Help!

Mr. Belding?

Screech?
Is that you?

Yes.

And Harry the Hippo, too!

Are you guys O.K.?

We're fine, but we
can't open the door.

The knob won't turn.

Something must have
jammed the lock.

Stand back.
I'll kick it open.

All right, go ahead.

Thanks, Slater.

You guys O.K.?

How's the rest of the school?

Are you guys all
right? Any injuries?

Not that we saw-- some
lockers toppled over.

We've got to find
Mrs. B.

I like the sweater,

but if you're going to wear
a skirt, shave your legs.

All right, try and stay calm.

They'll be coming for
us real soon... I hope.

Oh!

I want to get out.

The power will come back.
It takes time!

Oh!

No time left. I'm
starting to push!

Need help.

We're here for you,
Mrs. B.

Tori, I can't do this alone.

Tori, get yourself together.

You helped your sister
before, now help me!

I can't.
I'm scared!

Mrs. Belding
needs us.

Ooh!

Tori.

O.K., I'll try.

Where do we start?
What do we do?

Mrs. B needs to
concentrate on a focal point,

like a picture or something.

I've got loads of pictures.

We have Joanna,
Jennifer, Mindy--

Mindy's fine!

Oh, boy!
Here we go again.

Try breathing
like me, O.K.?

Not you --
Mrs. Belding.

Oh, right.
What do I do?

Hold up the picture
for her to focus on.

How's that, Mrs. B?

Upside down.

Sorry.

Becky! Becky,
are you in there?

Yes. We're stuck
between floors.

I never realized how much
Mrs. B sounds like Zack.

Are you guys
O.K.?

Yeah, we're fine.

Oh!

Uh, did I mention Mrs.
B's having her baby?

Becky, you're in labor?

[screaming]

I think that was a yes.

Mr. Belding,
don't worry.

Tori's got her
doing her breathing.

I've got her concentrated
on a focal point.

Pete, find the nearest
working telephone

and call 9-1-1.

Let them know we have
people stuck in an elevator

and one of them
is having a baby.

Right.

What was that number again?

9-1-1. Go!

I'm breathing with you, Becky.

You can do it.

[panting]

Mrs. B,
you're doing great.

Keep focusing on this picture.

She's very pretty.

She was a transfer student
from Greece last year.

Oh, what a girl.

Excuse me, Zorba. Mrs. B
is trying to have a baby.

Oh, right. Sorry.

Oh, boy!

Uh...

O.K., you ready
for the push?

1, 2, 3, push!

Oh, and 1, 2, 3, breathe.

Ahh!

O.K., one more.

1, 2, 3, push!

And 1, 2, 3,
breathe. Real good.

Hey, Mr. Belding,

I can see the baby's head.

He or she's got a
full head of hair.

Did you hear that?
My kid's got hair!

Probably from Mrs.
B's side of the family.

Come on, Becky.
A little more.

You can do it!

Keep on pushing.

[baby cries]

That's my baby crying.

I'm a daddy.

Hey, the power's back on.

Congratulations,
Mr. Belding.

Becky.

I knew that jersey
would get a lot of use.

What is it?

It's a baby. Duh!

Say hello to your new baby boy.

He's...

He's beautiful.

Well, kid, looks like you made it
through your first earthquake O.K.

Hey, so did you.

This has been quite a day.

Yeah, especially for me --

today was my day in
the baby pool. I won!