04x24 - School Song

[bunniefuu]

[bell rings]

♪ When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning ♪

♪ I don't think I'll ever
make it on time ♪

♪ By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ♪

♪ I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

♪ If the teacher pops a test
I know I'm in a mess ♪

♪ And my dog ate
all my homework last night ♪

♪ Ridin' low on my chair,
she won't know that I'm there ♪

♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow
it will be all right ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

I'll be graduating soon.

Maybe another guy will
come along just as cool.

No way.

- Hey, guys.
- Hey, Zack.

What's going on?

We need a class gift.
You got any ideas?

Yeah. Every girl in
school gets a kiss from me.

Excuse me while I barf.

We want something
that's lasting.

Last year's class gave a VCR.

Then we should get the complete
"Gilligan's Island" video library.

Does anybody else have an idea?

Well, hey.
Zack's graduating.

Isn't that enough of a gift?

What's so funny?

You know the school's got
to be thrilled you're going.

Your diploma will say,

"Goodbye. Don't come
to the reunion."

Come on.

Yeah, lay off of Zack.

I don't need you defending me.

Then I agree with them.

You'll be remembered as
Bayside's biggest goof-off,

but I still like you.

♪ Bayside, we never
shall forget thee ♪

♪ Though we may sail
to distant shores ♪

♪ Bayside, we stay
as first we met thee ♪

♪ True to thine halls
forevermore ♪

Absolutely dreadful.

Excuse me, Mr. Clef.

I think that's because our
school song's so old-fashioned.

"True to thine halls
forevermore"?

Who talks like that?

[bell rings]

Class, thou art dismissed.

You're right.

That song should be
in a nursing home.

The school needs a new one.

Hey, wait a minute.
That's it.

What's it?

Make thyself clear, Lisa.

Let's write Bayside a new
song for our class gift.

That's a great idea.

It would be fun, and it's something
the school would appreciate.

It's time I did something
for this school.

I'll help.

The senior gift
committee agrees.

We'll give Bayside a new song.

Yes, a day without music

is like a day
without trigonometry.

You're so poetic, Louise.

I wish I could be you.

Mr. Belding,
what do you think?

A.C., I--

Well, what a surprise.

Zack Morris is late
for a committee meeting.

I'm sorry.
I was--

Wait, let me guess.

You were rescuing
a troop of girl scouts

from a burning cookie factory.

10 bucks?
What's this for?

It'll spare you the trouble
of conning me out of it later.

I don't want your money.

I'll take it.

Zack's conned me so much,
he owes me.

If we keep talking about
all the trouble Zack's caused,

you'll all be here
another four years.

Lisa, I think a new school song
will make a wonderful senior gift.

Meeting's adjourned.

Let's go work on the song.

Nobody wants to be remembered
as the school's biggest goof-off.

I need to clear my name.

The only way to clear
your name is to change it.

This is a great thing
you're doing.

Bayside will always be grateful

to the composers
of its school song.

All right. See you.

But if I write
that school song alone,

Bayside will remember me
as a great guy, not a jerk.

[playing piano]

What do you think?

Nice, but I had a little
variation. Do you mind?

Oh. Not at all.

[plays piano]

Oh, no.
It was fine before.

Don't let her wreck it.
She's just jealous.

I think you're right.

What do you think?

I kind of liked it
the way it was.

O.K.

[piano plays]

Boy, Slater is really stubborn.

He's just trying to take over.

This song was my idea.

You're just trying to take over.

Yeah? Well,
you're just jealous.

Excuse me?

Don't they care what you think?

Don't you care what I think?

Butt out.

I guess not.

How can you work like this?

I can't work like this.

Maybe this songwriting
routine isn't going to work.

Well, maybe not.

Don't you want
to hear my concerto?

- No!
- No!

Well, I never!

Hmmpf!

Hmmpf!

And now to give Bayside
a real gift

from that talented
composer Zack Morris.

[plays blues piano]

♪ Oh, give me a school ♪

Screech, what are you doing?

Writing a new school song.

I thought you
weren't doing that.

I'm writing one of my own.

♪ Oh, give me a school-- ♪

Screech, you twink,
that's "Home on the Range."

You're crazy, Zack.

That's a cowboy song.
This is about a school.

Well, if Screech
is my only competition,

I won't have to worry.

[guitar plays]

♪ B-a-y ♪

♪ S-i-d-e ♪

[accordion plays]

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

What is going on here?

Quiet!

I said quiet!

♪ All
the girls and guys ♪

♪ With stars
in their eyes ♪

Louise!

Louise!

Now will someone explain
this little concert?

We're all trying to write
the new school song.

You should give up.

Slater and I are
working on a great tune.

Young people love
accordion music.

If there are several songs,

then the senior class needs to--

it needs to hear them.

Why not have a contest?

Play them over the P.A.
and let the seniors vote.

[all]
Yeah.

That's a good idea.
We'll do it Friday.

Now... no more rehearsing
in the halls.

Go to class.

Learn something.

Go.

Let's go.

A contest? I am
surprised at you, Zack.

It's a fair idea.

Well, I've turned
over a new leaf.

Besides, I love contests.

They're so easy to fix.

[plays scale]

[hits detuned note]

Perfect.

[footsteps]

You're going to love this song.

Well, it's up
to the seniors to judge.

Get ready.

Ahem.

Hello, again.

Here's Tori Scott
and A.C. Slater

with their song,
"Bayside We'll Remember."

[plays piano]

[hits detuned note]

♪ The football game
we almost won ♪

♪ The prom where
we had so much fun ♪

♪ Can all those days
be comin' to an-- ♪

[hits detuned note]

♪ E-End--end? ♪♪

Play the right chords!

I am!

You're not. You're
wrecking my song!

I wrote more of it than you did.

Fine. You sing it!
I quit!

This seems pretty low,

but if I want to be
remembered as a great guy,

I can't take any chances.

[Mr. Belding] Our next song is
"Bayside My Home" by Screech Powers.

I can relax.
He'll sink himself.

[plays Home on the Range]

♪ Oh, give me a school ♪

♪ With
a big swimming pool ♪

♪ And a library crammed
full a-books ♪

♪ Where seldom is heard ♪

♪ A complaint
from a nerd ♪

♪ And the chess team
has plenty of rooks ♪

♪ Home,
home at our school ♪

♪ Where the Swiss steak
makes everyone drool ♪

♪ Where dissecting mice ♪

♪ Can be awfully nice ♪

♪ Oh, Bayside,
I think you're a jewel ♪

And now here's Zack Morris
with our final song.

Thanks, Mr. B.

All right, Bayside.
Let's rock.

♪ Bayside is
a school that's cool ♪

♪ And you know
that is true ♪

♪ The girls
are the cutest ♪

♪ And the guys
are the hippest, too ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ♪
♪ Ooh ooh ♪

♪ Other schools
try to touch us ♪

♪ But you know that
they don't have a clue ♪

[electric guitar plays]

♪ We are
rockin' 'n' rollin' ♪

♪ From the morning
till the day is through ♪

♪ We are
rockin' 'n' rollin' ♪

♪ Till
the day is through ♪♪

Whoo!

Whoo!

Congratulations, Zack.

You received 132 votes.

All right!

You, too, Screech.
It's a tie.

A tie?
What do you mean?

A tie's when two contestants
receive an equal number of votes.

I know what a tie means.

I just can't believe
your song tied mine.

This school has a lot
more geeks than we realize.

I'd like you each
to perform your song

with our glee club
at next week's assembly,

then the seniors vote
on a winner. Good luck.

I told you before.

Well, it shouldn't be
too hard b*ating Screech.

I'll just figure out a way
to sway the dork vote.

O.K., boys,
put my books away.

My pleasure, Louise.

Hey, Louise.

Would you like
to have lunch with me?

Oh, my!

Do I have broccoli in my teeth?

No, but there's
a piece of carrot.

Hmm.

Thanks, sweetie.

No problem, Louise.

Hey, Louise, you heard
my song today, right?

Yes, and if I would've known
what a sweetheart you are,

I would have voted for
you instead of Screech.

Thanks. Maybe you can help me
b*at Screech in the finals.

You have a lot of
influence over the nerds--

I mean, the--
the Bayside intellectuals.

Well, I could
deliver Leonard, Louis,

and possibly Percival

for a little kiss.

You see what I see?

Oh... those lips
are lethal weapons.

Zack's trying
to steal the nerd vote.

It looks like he'll do anything,

and I mean anything,
to win that contest.

Wait a minute.

Do you think "anything" could
include sabotaging our songs?

I'll k*ll him.

I'll help.

Hold it.

Girls, let's really hurt him.

Let's figure out a way
for him to lose to Screech.

Hi, guys.

You're voting for my
Zacky's song, aren't you?

Whatever you say, Louise.

She's so hot.

You must be worried
about Zack and Louise.

Whatever do you mean?

Zack's a big man around here.

Soon all the cool guys
will be dating nerd girls.

That means there won't
be any left for you dorks.

Heavens! I failed to view
it from that perspective.

How dare he steal our women!

We've got to tell our fellow
brains to vote for Screech.

Quick, to the nerd cave.

♪ Home,
home at our school ♪

No, no. All wrong.

It's your school
you're singing about,

not a smelly sweat sock.

Show a little feeling now, hmm?

Screech, Screech.

Excuse us, but
we need to talk to you.

O.K., uh...

take five, kids.

We want you to b*at Zack.

We'd like to change your music.

Changes?
Have you gone mad?

Don't mess with a masterpiece.

No, these are just
tiny little things.

A note here, a word there.

Even Beethoven had
help from his friends.

O.K., but I'm
not going to wear a wig.

Now, step three,

I poured our secret
w*apon in Zack's cup.

It won't hurt him?

Nah. It's pure
lemon extract.

It'll just hurt
his chances to win.

Shh. Here he comes.

Be cool.

Hey, guys.

- Hi, Zack.
- Hey.

We're anxious to sing your song.

Yeah? I thought
you might be bummed

since your songs
were eliminated.

No way. We just
had bad luck.

Yeah, it's not like
it was your fault.

True.

To prove there's
no hard feelings...

To Zack.

Great. Thanks.

May you be the author
of Bayside's new song.

Thanks, guys.

Man, this stuff's really sour.

The assembly starts
in two minutes.

Take your places.

Let's go. Come on.

Our first song -- "Cool School."

It don't know why.

I keep the thermostat
at 70. Ha ha ha!

Here to sing his song, with
our own glee club, Zack Morris!

[piano plays]

♪ Bayside is a school
that's cool ♪

♪ And you know
that is true ♪

♪ Know
that is true ♪

♪ Know
that is true ♪

♪ The girls are the cutest, and
the guys are the hippest, too ♪

♪ Hippest, too,
hippest, too ♪

♪ Other schools
try to touch us ♪

♪ But you know that
they don't have a clue ♪

♪ Don't have a clue,
don't have a clue ♪

[stammering and muttering]

[singing nonsense]

[singing nonsense]

[stammering]

[singing nonsense]

[muttering]

[singing nonsense]

[humming]

♪ Hmmmmm ♪♪

That was "Cool School"...

sort of.

Our glee club will return
with the second song

at the close of assembly.

[muttering]

Here.

You sabotaged me on purpose?

Just like you did to us.

One bad turn deserves another.

Pretty low, Preppie.

What made you do it?

It's just that everyone
thinks I'm a goof-off.

Thought if I
wrote the school song,

I'd be remembered
for something positive.

I just screwed up again.

Sorry, guys.

Well, we had fun
getting you back.

[muttering]
[muttering]

There you are, you butchers.

You've totally changed my song!

No we didn't, Screech.

It's still about Bayside.

And we used your words --

"the," "and," "it"...

"Bayside."

In that case,
it's O.K. then.

All right.

Let's go back in
there and sing it.

Hey, guys.

Can I sing with you?

Sure.

Take a look.

But this time...
enunciate.

And now, our final choice
for a school song,

written by Screech Powers.

Don't blame me if it stinks.

Maestro.

♪ It seems like
only yesterday ♪

♪ We started ♪

♪ But soon we'll put away
our books and pens ♪

♪ We'll go on
with our lives ♪

♪ Once we have parted ♪

♪ But how can we say
farewell to our friends? ♪

♪ The double dates, the
parties, and the dances ♪

♪ Cramming for a midterm
until 3:00 ♪

♪ The football games,
the Max, and the romances ♪

♪ Soon Bayside will be
just a memory ♪

♪ Memory ♪

♪ Our four years here
have all become unraveled ♪

♪ And so, our high school
story finally ends ♪

♪ It finally ends ♪

♪ But years from now,
no matter where we've traveled ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ We'll all look back
and think about our friends ♪

♪ We'll all look back
and think about our friends ♪