01x11 - Sense and Insensitivity

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Owl House". Aired January 10, 2020 - present.*
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Animated series follows Luz who stumbles upon a portal to a magical realm where she befriends a rebellious witch, Eda, Luz pursues her dream of becoming a witch.
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01x11 - Sense and Insensitivity

Post by bunniefuu »

[King] Partake of my
free snack samples.

Take them.
I demand it as your ruler,

the King of Demons.

[grunts]

Why isn't anyone paying
attention to me?

I'm their rightful overlord.

Intellectually and such.

Yeah.

- Hey!
- [grunts]

[sniffs]

It reeks more of nerd
than money today.

Guys!
[grunts]

You will not believe
what's going on.

It's a bookfair!

Where books come to life.

- Hello.
- [grunts]

A fair without rides?

Who need rides when this
can take you anywhere?

[grunts]

[screams]

A, ew.
B, I'm bored.

C, I feel like pickpocketing
some dork while they browse.

No, wait.

Will you give it a chance?

I'll let you ride
in my hoody.

[chuckling] Ooh!

This bookfair's got everything.

A zine-making workshop.
Meet and greets.

And what's that...
[gasps]

A writing competition?

I've always wanted
to be a writer.

Writer? What? I thought
you wanted to be a witch?

Of course I wanna be a witch.

But where I'm from
that's kinda... impossible.

So, my runner up dream
was to be a writer.

I've had this
"About the Author" picture

since I was seven years old.

I know my good angle.

I'm gonna enter the competition.

- [laughing]
- [grunts]

Ugh. What are these
basement dwellers

doing out in natural sunlight?

Um, we're in line
for John De Plume,

most famous writer
on the Boiling Isles.

Famed author of
the Realm Warrior Series.

I'm gonna have him
read my story.

And marry me.

John, will you sign my child?

I'll sign anything.

[laughs]

Such power. Such command
he holds over his minions.

I must have the same.

Luz the human, I too shall
enter the competition.

Really? [gasps] We
could work together.

It'll be perfect.

We're best friends,
so we'll make the best team.

Team! Yes!

My name goes first on the cover.

[theme music playing]

[chattering, snorting]

Boring, boring.

[groans]

Boring. [gasps]

[gasps]
Another wrinkle.

The curse is quickening.

[Lilith] You! Lackey.

Lilith.

Do you have the item
we discussed?

Oh, yes. Right here.

This is excellent.

A map to the Bloom
of Eternal Youth.

I think the emperor
will be very pleased.

Ma'am shouldn't we
be searching

for the owl lady
to join the coven?

Remember that whole plan?
[grunts]

My sister's curse
has left her frail.

She'll still be here
when we get back.

[grunts]

This come first.

It's for the emperor
after all.

Yeah! All hail the emperor!

Very good, Steve.

Shoulder pads for Steve.

Hey, bub, what'd you tell
my prissy sister?

Oh, it's a map to the
Bloom of Eternal Youth.

A rare flower that only
grows once a millennia.

Like the name says,
it gives eternal youth

to whomever holds it.
Interesting.

So, Lilith wants to nab this
power for the emperor, huh?

Well, won't she be surprised
when I get there first

and get it for myself.

Ha! That'll show her
who's frail.

Yes. Well, uh.
We'll see, won't we?

Can't go without
a map, of course.

Now, let's write down some ideas

that we wanna see in the story.

I can write anything?

[Luz] Yeah, we're brainstorming.

Every idea is a good idea.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Done.

Aw. Is that all
you wanna see?

Hmm.

[Luz] Romance.

Magic. Heartbreak
with shimmer tears.

And the main character is,
of course... [hums] Luzura.

I know it's kinda cliché
but what's wrong with cliché?

[grunts] And my main
character's the king... Er...

The ruler of demons.

With this totally original,
all-star cast,

victory will be ours.

[clanking]

Now, for the easy part.

[cheerful music playing]

[cheerful music continues]

[keys clacking]

Luzura's tears fell
on the Frozen Prince

bringing him back to life.

Uh, it feels
a little unrealistic.

I see what you're saying.

But in your version,
Ruler just destroys everything.

I think a little romantic
tension could help the scene.

Hey. There's more
to life than shipping.

Don't you dare insult
shipping in my presence.

[Eda] Apprentice, living room.

I'll be back.
We'll figure this out.

Okay, writing buddy?

My turn to write.

[Luz] Hey.

What's up, boss lady?

I am popping out
for a few days

to an undisclosed place
to do undisclosed things.

You're in charge.
Great.

No questions.
Okay.

I said no questions.

Well, King, it's just you
and me for a while.

[gasps]

[dramatic music playing]

- [keys clacking]
- Hey, Luz.

- [bell dings]
- Great news.

What have you done?

I just made a few tiny edits
and this baby is humming.

Luzura dies?

I know, right? What a twist.

King,
I know you're trying to help

but I think you're
crossing a line.

Yeah, into greatness.
Don't you want us to win?

If this is how
you wanna win,

then maybe you should submit
the story on your own.

What?

Bah! What does she know?

What the heck, man?
Learn to collaborate.

Hush, you!

I'll prove to both of you

my story is superior.

Hey, you scum!

Which one of you wants

to read my literary masterpiece?

Anyone brave enough?

[all growling]

- [doors banging]
- Oof!

[grunts]

[groans]

I'll read your story.

[pulsates]

You wrote this?

Yep, that's me. Only me.

Let me get you a fruit punch.

Ooh. I love punching.

I'm Piniet of Piniet
Publishing House.

And your name is King?

It's more of a rank
than a name.

I loved your story.

So much better
than the submissions

we got for the competition.

I want to buy it and publish it
for everyone to read.

I'll make you as famous
as John De Plume.

- [all cheering]
- Ooh! P-choo! P-choo!

Ooh!
[yells]

I've always wanted a people chair.
I'm in.

This will be the first step
in my reclamation of power.

Then all you have
to do is sign here.

[thuds]

You're ominous. And I like it.

Get ready to be famous,
Mr. King.

[grunting]

[clanking]

[whooshing]

[thuds]

[crackling]

[rattling]

Ouch! Jeez!

It's the perfect blend of heart
and heartlessness.

Like two authors mashed
into one.

[laughs]

[all chattering]

Spend money on my thing I wrote.

Spend money on my thing I wrote.

[gasping, chattering]

- [cheering, laughing]
- [fan] Whoo-hoo! Yeah!

Mr. King! Mr. King,
I love your writing.

Please read my story?

[laughs] Oh, my.

Oh, it's good to be minions.
I mean fans.

[fan] King!

You're my inspiration.

Okay, from the Minitaur,
I head due north.

And with luck, I'll get to the Bloom
of Eternal Youth before Lilith.

[laughs, snorts]

Ah, who's frail now,
emperor dorks?

[gasps] Someone's following me.

[fire crackling]

Spicy toss!

[yelps]

Lily?
Edalyn?

[scoffs] And of course you would
be here just to be a nuisance.

Why don't you go home
and rest?

Wouldn't want you
breaking a hip.

Sorry, sister.
I'm stronger than you think.

I'm here to save the Bloom of Eternal
Youth from the likes of you.

I'm gonna get
there before you.

[yelps] No, you won't.

[keys clacking]

[King] Hey, Luz.

Guess who won
the writing competition

and became a blockbuster
writer superstar?

You're right. It's me. Me!
[keys clacking]

Do you wanna touch my scarf?

A fan crochet it out
of their own hair.

It smells so bad.

[keys clacking continues]

My publisher is throwing a huge
party for my book, Ruler's Reach.

And I, uh,
I'd like for you to be there.

[keys clacking continues]

All right, fine.
Be that way, I guess.

[sighs]

Girl, you don't need him.

But I don't want to be mad
at him either.

[crowd cheering]

[fan] Your fans are dying to know
when Ruler's Reach comes out.

That's between me
and my publisher.

Right, Piniet?

Yes. Oh, pardon me.

I need a few moments
of King's time.

[fans cheering]

Where's John De Plume at?
I wanted to compare sunglasses.

Oh, he's taking a break to
finish his latest masterpiece.

Fame can really box you in,
you know?

Uh, speaking of, how's your
second book coming along?

Coming along or finished?

Bam! [laughs]
Ruler's Reach .

Now with more swears.

Ah! Splendid!

[pulsates]

Oh, you cad.

Not only are you
a great writer

but a practical joker
as well.

That's true. Wait, what?

Oh, this is truly awful.

Looking forward to
the real draft.

Truly awful.
But I'm a best-selling writer.

How?

[chattering]

Luz, I can't write without her.

Luz, buddy, I'm so glad
you could make it.

Hey, King. I didn't want
to be angry at your success.

You're my friend.
So, congratulations.

Great to hear.

'Cause I really need your
help with my next book.

- Huh?
- Apparently,

I can't write my
daring works of genius

without rebelling against
your gushy fantasy slop.

Excuse me?

[chuckles] We make a great team.

So, here's a pen. Writey writey.
Clock's a ticking.

[all gasp]

I'm not writing for you

after you made fun
of all my ideas.

Hey! What the heck?

Congratulations on all your
hard-earned success.

What am I gonna do?
I can't write without her.

Hmm.

[grunts, pants]

[grunts, pants]

Ha! Doesn't this remind you of how we
used to race to the kitchen, Lily?

Lily?

- [mumbling]
- [gasps]

[hisses]

[mumbling continues]

Lily!

[hisses]

[screams]

[mumbling]

Alley-oop!

[sighs] Thank you, Edalyn.

I wasn't certain
that you'd save me.

Stow it. Uh, we might fight
but you're still my sister.

And besides, if anyone's putting
you down, it's gonna be me.

Ha!
[grunts]

[chuckles]

Oh, is that...

The Bloom of Eternal Youth.


All right. Back off.
[grunts]

That baby's mine.

[groans] Why are you
always like this?

Because Lilith, you think
I'm just some tired, old biddy.

Ah, but I'm more than that.

And with the Bloom of Eternal
Youth's power, I'll show you...

What the...

[laughing]

[sighs] They got his good angle.

[footsteps approaching]

Uh, can I help you?

Perhaps.

I hear you're
an aspiring writer?

[chuckles]

[fan] King! We love you! King!

[crowd cheering] King! King!

I can't wait for the sequel.

If it's disappointing
in any way,

I will spend every day
of my life trashing it.

Oh, boy.

Oh, man. Ah, geez.

[whimpering] Hemming. Hawing.

Piniet, I gotta come clean.
We can't announce book two.

I can't write without...
without...

[Piniet]
Without your writing partner?

[gasps] King!

- Luz!
- That snappily-dressed lizard

trapped me in
this shrinking box.

[screams]

You gotta get me out.

What are you doing with her?
Let her go.

You wrote Ruler's Reach
together.

So, if you don't
want her crushed,

you'll write together again.

Oh, don't give me
that look.

Some of the best books were
written in literal crunch time.

[yelps]

That's a toxic mentality
that contributes to burnout

and unrealistic expectations.

King, do something!

[grunts]

Set her free, now!

Not until I get my best-seller.

You'll recall
you are under contract.

Whoa. [grunts]

Whoa!

Oof!

[Piniet] Make your deadline,

or you'll never be able
to hold a pen again.

Just like...

Help me!

Nooo!

- Help us!
- Get us out of here!

[grunting, screaming]

I'll leave you to it.

Looking forward
to your next volume.

- [warps]
- [yelps]

We're not getting out of here
till we write a book.

And that'll take forever.

We're cube meat.

Well, I have my story.

But it's all hugging and crying.
I can't put my name on that.

King, that is why
we are in here!

Because you can't compromise.

All I wanted was to write
a dumb story with my friend.

Luz, you're living your dream.
You're becoming a witch.

But this celebrity is as close
as I'll ever get to my dream.

It all went to my head,
and I hurt you.

- I'm sorry.
- Hey.

Being with you is one of my
favorite parts of this dream.

- [warps]
- [yelps]

I have a plan.

But we need to work together
this time.

Just tell me what to do.

[Merchant] I know you
must be confused.

The Bloom of Eternal Youth,
dead?

What if I told you the Bloom
never existed at all?

And now that I have
led you to my nest,

I'll suck all the life out of you
to satisfy my unending hunger!

He scammed us.
Can you believe he scammed us?

I thought there was
a / chance going in.

Hard not to admire
the tenacity though.

Good entrance.
But that outfit? Ha!

Oh, look at his little shoes.

[Eda, Lilith laughing]

Well, maybe you've never been
led into a lethal trap before

but the response should be,
"Ah! No! Spare us!

Ah, sure. Spare us.

Woe to us, whose fates
are sealed.

Tha... That's right.
We just cower.

[whimpers] Cower. [gulps]

Oh, dang.
[cubes squeal]

Hey, Piniet! We're done!

Faster than I expected.

That's the miracle of team work.

[warps]

[pulsates]

This is much more gushy
than your last book.

Skip to the finale,
because it's quite a payoff.

[pulsates]

What is this all about?

Light spell!

[bursts]

- [grunts]
- Agh! I just realized,

I should've said enlightening.

Skip to the finale.

You'll find it enlightening.

- King, the contract!
- [groaning]

Pretentious scarf, go!

[yelps, grunts]

[growls]

[grunting]

[pants]

I made you a star

and this is how you repay me?

No, this is.
[clamoring]

[cube] How's this for edits?

- And self-publishing!
- [clamoring]

[both grunt]

[grunts]
[cubes squeal]

You are making this harder
than it needs to be.

And believe me,
I am being very patient.

[grunts, groans]

But let's...

[clanks]

[grunts] Cut to the finish.

[slams]

[all] Huh?

King,

I am your biggest fan.

[grunts]

And I fought my way
back here for you

to read my story.

I'm sorry. My lawyer advised me
not to look at unsolicited work.

But, but...

Ugh! If I read this will you go?

So I can annihilate
them in peace?

Of course.

- [crashes]
- [clanking]

[pulsates]

[sniffs] Oh, it's beautiful.

You... you must
let me publish this.

I can make you a star.

Really?

Wait a minute. What about King?

Ugh!
[grunts]

You're old news.

She on the other hand
is the future.

- Whoo-hoo!
- Freedom!

Hey!
King!

We're good then?
Yes. Quite.

[grunts]

P-choo! P-choo!

[grunts]

Well, we wrecked this chump.

but I guess the Bloom
of Eternal Youth isn't real.

[sighs]

Well,
if it makes any difference,

I don't consider you to be
a tired old biddy.

Really?

If you were you'd be much
easier to catch.

Oh, great.

You're gonna cart me away
to the coven now, are you?

Not now. Because I want
to give you a chance

to join on your own.

Join me in the Emperor's Coven,
Edalyn?

He could even heal your curse.

No, I'll heal it
on my own terms.

I don't want
to owe him anything.

Catch you later, sis.

Not if I catch you first.

I'll see you around.

[sighs]

You're welcome
for the chance to bond.

[squeals]

[snores]

[yawns]

Hey, kids. Woof.

[back cracks]

That was a rough couple days.

Yeah, I'll say.

[grunts]

Well, nothing a bit
of apple blood

and a good book can't mend.

Books?

Nope, I don't know
nothing about that.

We hate books.
Wow, look at the time.

What's a book?
Good night!

Huh?

[gasps] What the...

Girl, you do not wanna know.
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