15x09 - Last of the Meheecans

[bunniefuu]

Alright y'all, keep yer eyes
peeled and yer g*ns ready.

There's a heap of
Mexicans out

there who want nothing more
than to sneak past our border,

and we gotta stop 'em!

Eric, you wanna say hi to grandpa?

Not now, Mom,
we're playing

Texans versus Mexicans, God!

Alright patrol - y'all know the drill.

Not one Mexican is to get past this border!

Not a single one! Yee-haw!

Yee-haw.

Fellow Mehicans!

This time, we're gonna try rushing
the Texans from the left side!

Do not give up hope, for I - am
Mantequilla!

Viva la Mehico!!!

Uh, Butters, I think we're gonna
go back to Kyle being team leader.

Aw, I'm not a good Mehican?

You're a great Mehican,

Butters, but maybe just
not a leader of Mehico.

Look guys,

all we need to do is split up and
apply good diversion tactics.

We'll use the Texans emotions against
them...

Scanning for Mexicans...

We've got a Mexican!

Hey Texans!

Let me through,
we wanna treaty!

He's trying a simple diversion tactic.
Thinks we're stupid.

You're gonna have to do
better than that, Mexican!

Better than being a fat ass Texan!

Just because I'm Texan
doesn't mean I'm fat!

No, you're fat to begin with, chubby.
Now you're Texan too.

Oh yeah?!

Well you're
a f*cking Jew, Kyle!

And now you're a Mexican Jew!
A dirty no good Mexi-Jew!

- And let's just see you try and...
- Base!

Clyde?!?!

What the f*ck are you doing?!
You just let a Mexican through!

I was enthralled with
the dialogue exchange.

Yeah well, you all need
to stay focused, Goddammit!

If you let yourselves get
distracted for even one minute,

- we're gonna be overrun with
these jobless, no good- - Base!

I didn't hear him coming
with all your screaming.

Nobody's f*cking screaming, Craig.
Wake the f*ck up!

B-base!

Aw God!

So then the Pope says 'Maybe you
should go check the toilet!'

I got one.

- Why do girls wear make up and perfume?
- Why?

Cuz they're ugly and they stink.

Cartman stop pouting
that you lost the game.

I'm not pouting!
I've just heard all these jokes before.

So then don't have a slumber party
if you're gonna be an assh*le all night.

At least I have an assh*le, Kyle.

Boy, I've really done it this time.

I had one simple direction,
go that way.

How did I end up getting lost?

My amigos were right,
I am a lousy Mexican.

They're all livin' the good life

while I'm still stuck out here in Mehico.

I am...
the last of the Meheecans.

Hello? Anybody?

Come on, Mantequilla!
You have to find that border!

Work Mexican work!

Work Mexican work!

Oh, careful, darling.
This storm is getting worse.

It sure is. I can barely see...

Oh my God,
look out it's a Mexican!

Oh my God, are you alright?

Por favor...
I have to get across the border...

My amigos... my amigos are waiting...

Poor thing must have
snuck across the border

and then lost track of his family!

I am Mantequilla.
The last of the Mehicans...

Guest room. Guest room.

Bed. Bed.

Pillow.

You're going to be okay?

Do you understand?

Darling, I don't know if we can keep him.

What're we supposed to do,
call the police

and have him shipped back
to Mexico like some animal?

Window. Window.

Yep, window.

Bueno.

He'll have so much more opportunity
here than he ever would in Mexico.

window.

Windex.

Paper towel.

Ahp, be sure to get the edges.

Oh, darling, it's wonderful.

Clyde.

We're losing.

Kyle got through.

Oh, no. Now Stan's through.
Jimmy, it's over.

Only Mexican left is Butters.
We got--

Butters!

Hey, wake up you guys.

Wake up losers!

What are you talking about?

Where is Butters?

He was with us at dinner.

Wait, was he with us at dinner?

Yeah, I think he was.

Butters is one of those people

who you can never remember
if he was there or not.

Butters?

Butters?

Jesus, it's freezing out here.

He could be dead.

All right, men, rally up.

There's still a Mexican out there
and he ain't gettin' through!

You haven't won yet!

Game on!

Game on.

Work Mehican work...

Work Mehican work...

Mantequilla!

Mantequilla,
come to the living room!

We have a surprise for you!

Surprise!

We scraped some money together

and got you something!

It's a present, Mantequilla!

Un presente.

Wow!

A present just for me?!

Oh, he's such a happy little Mexican.

How do you like that,

Mantequilla?!

Your very own leaf blower!

I have no idea how it works, but
I'm sure you do.

Say, how'd you like to go
in the backyard and play?

Oh, look at him darling, he's so happy.

No, no, Mantequilla.

You're just blowing the leaves
from one side to the other.

Get them in one pile so you can
use the garbage bags we loaned you.

Si, senor.

Oh, he's so adorable.

All week long, bossman say,

"Work Mexican, work."

Honey?

Honey, what's wrong?

It's Mantequilla.

We've tried giving him everything
but I don't think he's happy.

Tonight I told him he could do
whatever he wanted before bed,

wash the windows, mop up our
bathroom... but you know what he said?

He said 'I need to go home'.

I tried telling him 'your home

is here, Mantequilla!

Tu casa es aqui!

But I don't think he feels it.

Maybe if we let him paint the

garage he'll feel more like family and...

No, Brian, in my heart
I know it's true...

He belongs with his own kind, Brian.
He belongs with his own kind...

Come on, honey.

Where are you going?

No. Mantequilla, bad.

Go now!

Ma'am, could I just use your phone?

So there I was!

Just yards away from the
American border all my amigos

made it across, but I
become lost in the woods!

If the ripples hadn't a come along,
I might have froze to death.

But I'm not giving up!

For I... am Mantequilla!

Mantequilla?

Mantequilla?

Nothing can stop me and my pride in mother
Mehico!!!

Hey! You fellas think you
can help me get across that

all my amigos are there.

Waitin' for me.

Viva la Mehico!

Alright, let's get him into er...

Careful my foot!

We're crossin' the border!

Pretty quiet out there.

Yup, a bit too quiet if you ask me.

Gimme those.

Just seems like Mexicans don't
try to cross in to the U.S.

As much as they used to, you know?

No, they're out there, Charlie.

Plottin' their next move.

They'll do anything they can to
get into the land of opportunity.

And as long as this country

offers everyone a better life,

there's gonna be people
clamoring to get in.

It's the curse of success, Charlie.

A great and wealthy nation will
always be plagued by the needy

trying to... what the hell?

Uh, sir, aren't them Mexicans

running into Mexico?

That don't make sense.

You're going the wrong way!

You've heard of Mexican salsa,

but Mexican pride?

The phenomenon is called 'Orgullo de
Mantequilla',

where Mexicans are realizing it

actually is starting to
suck more here is the U.S.

The borders are being flooded

with Latin Americans trying to

get back to their own country.

Well, I think it's good.

If the Mexican people feel,
inspired good for them.

People have a right to go and be happy.

Nooo!

But just what has sparked the
Mexican desire to live in Mexico?

Joining us now is analyst
Mark Gieger and Mark,

we've heard of Mexican ice
cream but Mexican patriotism?

Yes, it's a very odd phenomenon, Chris.

I think that...

Cartman, what the hell is this?

Ou guys the game is over.

Clearly, I won. Give it up.

Wanted by the us border patrol.

Permission to sh**t on sight?!

You guys are putting out flyers
I had to put some out, too.

Buskers has been missing nor a week.

You might have inadvertently
gotten him k*lled!

Well then I inadvertently
won the game, didn't I?

Do you have what it takes to

join the border patrol?

Border patrol officers are

looking for volunteers to help

with the reverse immigration crisis.

Oh, dude.

Sweet.

Vamos Mantequilla!

Vamos Mantequilla!

Oh, I'm sorry, I don't really...

Orgullo!

Welcome to the U.S. border patrol.

You volunteers are the key to

keeping this country safe and prosperous.

Every day more and more Mexicans

are trying to get past this fence

and go back to their homes in Mexico.

As border patrol officers,
our duty

is to stop Mexicans from
crossing the border.

We don't need to worry about the

semantics of which direction

they're going.

We're just supposed to stop em!

Marcus?

The standard issue border patrol
w*apon is the P-29 stun Baton.

It carries a 4000 watt charge

and is your best option for
enforcing border patrol law.

This is gonna be so f*cking sweet.

The baton is non-lethal,
but powerful...

Hey- we got some!
Mexicans at two o'clock!

Let's get ready, recruits.

Must be a couple dozen of 'em.

This is the U.S. border patrol.

Stop where you are.

Turn around and get back to work.

There's two many of 'em
we're gonna need back up!

You're pretty good at
stoppin' Mexicans, son.

What's your name?

Cartman.

Eric T. Cartman.

Dedicated. Patriotic. Tireless.

These are the men and women
of the U.S. Border patrol.

They work around the clock,

protecting America's prosperity.

They are the front line in

making sure Mexicans stay here and work.

The border patrol is

uncompromising, diligent and cool.

They will defend, arrest and

most importantly,
let the Mexicans know that

they are way better off
here in United States.

Thanks everyone!

It sure has been great getting

to know you all.

You've been really great amigos!

It's really kind of made me...

Appreciate my amigos back home.

I know they're waiting for me...

And I'm sure they're all worried sick.

What did he say?

I actually don't speak Spanish.

No Mexicans detected.

Huh, nothing.

Let's face it.

They've just about all gotten back across.

No matter how hard we tried

the Mexicans all got across the border.

When we asked Obama to
stop illegal immigrants...

we didn't mean to make the U.S.

so shitty they wouldn't
wanna come any more.

Hey, hey, wait a minute!

It's a Mexican.

I think he wants to come back in!

Oh, my, God, it is!

Hey!

Come on in!

Come on!

Come on, it's okay!

f*ck are you doin'?

Get that gate open!

Come on, buddy!

Come on! Over here! You got it!

Wait a minute, isn't that...

Game on!

Oh, no, you don't!

f*ck are you doin?!

That assh*le is not
getting across my border!

I'll get over!

No, you won't, Butters.

Where the f*ck did he go?

Game over, Butters!

You lose!

What the f*ck is this?

No.

Noooooooooo!

Base!

El ba-so!

Base-ooooo!

So then, so then the fireman says

'That won't even fit in my scrotum!

Stop being a pouty little bitch
cuz you lost, Cartman.

I'm not pouting!

I'm just... sensitive to firemen
jokes cuz of 911 and the...

f*ck you, Kyle.

Boy I'm so glad I proved
I'm a good Mexican!

Hey maybe next time I can be team leader!

Uhhh, I think we'll stick with Kyle, dude.

You made it across the border

but it did take you

two and a half weeks.

Yeah, you're a great Mehican, Butters,

just not a great leader, of Mehico.