15x11 - #Dupe#

Episode transcripts of the TV show, "South Park." Aired August 1997 to current.*
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The misadventures of four boys who live in the fictional town of South Park, Colorado.
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15x11 - #Dupe#

Post by bunniefuu »

Look, guys, I know it was just the Dolphins,

but Tebow is definitely our quarterback of the future.

What do you think, Nelson?

I didn?t see the game.

You didn?t see the game? What the hell were you doing?

Took the wife down to Denver to see that new musical in town.

A musical?

Nelson couldn?t watch football ?cause he took his wife to a musical!

Good for you, Nelson. Did you get a blowjob afterwards?

??Sure did. ?? ice!

??What? ??I took my girl to see that show.

Got the best hummer of my entire life afterwards.

Forty five minutes nonstop.

It?s true.

I?m taking my wife on Saturday, bro.

I?m telling you, Randy, put your time in with the musical,

and the rewards are awesome.

Must be a pretty hot and steamy show. What?s it called?

Wicked.

Wicked.

Heaven knows

We know what goodness is

Heaven knows

Wicked people aren?t good

From head to toe

She was just

Wicked people

Head to toe

You want some alcohol or something?

I?m good, thanks.

I?ll be right back.

Can I get a scotch and soda?

Enjoying the show?

It?s not really what I expected.

To be honest, I?m here for the blowjob.

From what I heard, I figured the show must be really sexy and hot, but?

??I don?t see it happening. ??It?ll happen. Don?t worry.

Your wife is being sh*t so full of subliminal messages.

All she?ll be thinking about is blowjob.

Subliminal messages?

It?s a musical thing.

Women are so caught up in the singing and dancing

they don?t notice it,

but there?s a blowjob reference almost every ten seconds.

Broadway writers call it subtext.

Just listen really closely.

You?ll do great in the Emerald City. I?m sure you can?t wait to go!

??Take me away to that special place ??That blowjob place

??Where people like us can all live free ??Free to give blowjobs

Take me away, and let?s live together

??That?s the life for you and me ??Blowjobs!

??Let?s try denying gravity ??Look at them, becoming friends

Here in Oz You love blowjobs

Suddenly, this is a free blowjob

That was so much fun!

All the costumes and the sets were amazing.

I really loved the songs. That Stephen Schwartz is a genius.

I?ve got them all stuck in my head.

That was such a treat. How would you like a little treat?

o way.

Come on, Larry.

Why does those happen every time?

Do something, you stupid vegan!

Coach, Feegan the Vegan won?t jump off the diving board!

You don?t get it.

I?m telling you, go see Wicked. It?s the best time.

How long with it?

She started in the car, and it lasted the whole drive home.

And then, she kept going for like another twenty minutes.

Nice, bro!

Get tickets. It?s worth it.

What was the show about?

sh*t, I don?t know. Some green chick and a goat.

Come on, Feegan. Either jump or get off!

Go!

I thought Broadway musicals weren?t for me either,

but I didn?t know about the whole subtext thing.

I couldn?t really appreciate them till now.

Wicked isn?t even the best. You gotta check out Jersey Boys.

??It makes women hummer crazy! ??Really?

Have you seen South Pacific? That?s a jawbreaker.

How would you like to go to New York for the weekend?

What? Are you serious?

I got plane tickets and a hotel room.

??We leave in three hours. ??Oh, my God!

First, you take me to Wicked, and now this?

Are you guys really going away? What about us?

Don?t worry. I?ve taken care of everything.

You?re staying the weekend with the Feegans.

Not the Feegans!

No, please don?t do this!

It takes a lot of guts to be a vegan in today?s world.

You get labeled soft or silly.

But the truth is there isn?t a need to eat animal product.

Would you ever believe that hotdog was vegan?

Cancer, heart disease, drowning,

all preventable with a vegan diet and a life jacket.

And if people wanna say we?re silly, they can just laugh all they want.

Because being vegan is more important than being popular.

Maybe you should let your son decide that for himself.

He does decide for himself. He?s been a vegan since he was born!

Maybe if Larry had a steak once in a while,

he wouldn?t get b*at up by every kid in school.

When you think you have the flu, you?re actually?

Dad, you guys have to come back. This isn?t working out.

Please answer the phone.

Man time!

I need some man time!

Horses fed and truck locked up Been workin? my fingers to the bone

Now, I need a little bit of man time Gonna see me a Broadway show

??Anything goes ??Blowjob!

Man time!

Hear things more clearly

I?m about to get drunk and loud Gonna have me a rowdy good time

All I need is my girl and my truck, and some Rodgers and Hammerstein

Sing, my angel of? blowjob? music!

But the tigers come at night

On your face

Man, it was great.

A different Broadway show every night.

I?m telling you you guys, New York is the place to be.

Sounds like a dream, bro.

It felt like a dream, bro.

Broadway is simply the greatest time a dude can have.

Just kind of sucks to be back here now.

There?s no culture here.

Only Broadway show in Denver is Wicked,

and I?ve already taken Sharon to see it 23 times.

And Wicked moves to Seattle in a couple weeks.

It?s gonna be blue balls for all of us.

Wish we could live in New York where all the musicals are.

Wait a minute.

Why not bring Broadway to South Park?

Think about it, bros. How hard can writing a musical be?

We need some musicians, some actors.

We can put on our own shows right here in town.

What a glorious Sunday.

I know what I?d like to do with my time.

Would you like a blowjob?

I would like a blowjob

Nothing beats a blowjob on football Sunday

Excuse me, I?m the queen of blowjobs

Really? I would love a blowjob

A woman should give blowjobs on football Sunday

I want to be covered in semen

On a bed in the Hotel Jerome

A woman is prettiest covered in semen

Give your husband a blowjob

When you get home!

And what about you, my fair lady?

Could I trouble you for a quick Lewinsky?

I don?t know, kind sir.

Blowjobs seem a little degrading to me.

Come now. A blowjob isn?t with your mouth.

It?s with your heart.

Now, get on your knees and put that heart to work

Blowjobs! Give us more blowjobs!

Your duty is blowjobs You love giving blowjobs

?Cause what could be better on a football Sunday?

What could better on a football Sunday?

What do you want?

Today, I went to 7-Eleven, and I ate a Slim Jim.

It was the greatest thing I ever tasted.

Nobody ever stood up for me before.

Reginald!

How about a hummer at halftime?

A Super Bowl suckoff from me?

A Super Bowl hummer at halftime

From my lovely Blowjob Queen

Two people in love, it?s amazing

Tim Tebow, please don?t let us down

How about a hummer at halftime?

And hold.

Sorry, we?re in a hold. Just freeze right there.

??This better be important. ??It is.

I represent some of the biggest names in all of Broadway.

They wish to speak with you.

Really? Oh, my God!

Take a break, guys. This could be it!

This is Andrew Lloyd Webber.

??Stephen Schwartz. ??Hey, bro.

Mr. Elton John.

And Stephen Sondheim.

?Sup, bro.

Not much. ?Sup with you guys?

I mean,?sup, bro?

Sit down. We need to have a talk.

We got wind of your musical. What the hell are you doing?

Same as you guys.

Trying to get men everywhere lengthier, better quality blowjobs.

You?re making it too obvious.

Women are gonna figure out what we?re doing.

Musicals are about subtext.

My musical has lots of subtext.

?A blowjob isn?t with your mouth. It?s with your heart.

?Now, get on your knees and put that heart to work.?

It?s a metaphor.

Bro, what?s metaphorical about a musical called

Splooge-Drenched Blowjob Queen?

Tricking b*tches into hour-long blowjobs is an art form.

You have to leave it to the professionals.

Sorry if you guys think you have a monopoly on subtext,

but up-and-comers have a voice too.

You?re gonna ruin everything, you idiot!

Sorry if my work isn?t up to your standards.

But now, I need to get back to rehearsals.

If Splooge-Drenched Blowjob Queen wins the Tony,

don?t expect to be invited to my afterparty.

What do you want?

You make me come out of my shell

You give me strength where there was only fear

I ate at a Burger King today

And stood up to a boy who called me q*eer

When you pushed me off the diving board, I fell

And you make the world a nicer place

So I can come out of my shell

You wanna play Settlers of Catan on Xbox?

Blowjob Queen

Don?t stop giving that blowjob even when you?re tired

Don?t stop, Sharon!

And hold. Sorry, we?re in a hold.

??What is it now? ??Stephen Sondheim is pissed off.

He wants to challenge you to a bro-down.

He wants to bro down? I?ll bro down!

Stephen Sondheim is the greatest Broadway composer alive today,

perhaps the greatest of all time.

You do not want to bro down with him.


What am I supposed to do? Run?

Don?t bro down against Sondheim. It?s su1c1de.

I?ve studied musicals. I?ve seen them all.

I can do this.

Let?s bro down!

You built another settlement?

And I got a victory point for roads connecting settlements.

They?re having such a great time. I really wanna thank you.

Larry is really making Shelley come out of her shell too.

I?m a little nervous having Larry without a life preserver on,

but we have to take chances sometimes.

That?s what we?re doing, putting our faith in Randy?s musical.

I hear his musical is getting a lot of attention.

That it has a chance of making it.

More than a chance.

Randy?s having a meeting right now with Stephen Sondheim.

??What?s up, bro? ??What, bro?

??Take a swing, bro! ??I?m right here, bro!

Let?s go, Sondheim! Wipe the street with his punk ass.

??What makes you the bro-thority, bro? ??West Side Story, bro!

??What, bro? ??Sweeney Todd, bro!

Merrily We Roll Along, bro!

??Why you gotta disrespect, bro? ??I do respect you, bro!

??Show some respect, bro! ??I do respect you, bro!

??Stop disrespecting, bro! ??I respect you, bro!

I respect you too!

The bro-down is over. Let?s bro out!

Bro out!

Party, people!

I?m so glad we put our differences aside.

That?s what bros do.

That?s what bros f*cking do!

You?re all right.

If it?s cool with you, bro,

Elton and Andrew and all of us wanna help you with your musical.

Really?

We can help you out a little bit with the subtext.

How about instead of Spooge-Drenched Blowjob Queen,

we call it?

The Woman in White?

That is beautiful!

Cheers to Randy Marsh.

Welcome to bro-dway.

Bro-dway!

??Hey, hon. ??Hi, babe.

Sorry, I was kind of hanging out with the guys.

It?s fine. You do plenty with me.

You had a good time?

We really made some progress with the show.

Andrew Lloyd Webber and those guys are gonna help us.

That?s great! I?m really proud of you.

You?re the best.

I?m not feeling a hundred percent. You care if I lay down?

Of course not. Go ahead.

??All right. ??I?m just gonna wait up for Shelley.

??What?s Shelley doing? ??I gave her those tickets to Wicked.

She?s seeing it with her little boyfriend.

She?s what?

Her and little Larry Feegan. They?re going to see Wicked together.

It?s Shelley?s first Broadway musical.

Oh, God!

Slow down, Jesus Christ!

Why didn?t you tell me she was gonna see Wicked?

Why does it matter?

??She?s too young for that stuff! ??Too young?

This is what l get.

I drank from the lie that is Broadway, and now it has my daughter.

That?s it. Turn this car around right now!

??I can?t! ??Why?

All right, look.

There?s something I should have told you.

Broadway musicals aren?t what you think they are.

They?re subliminal propaganda to get women to give more blowjobs.

Buried in are commands to perform oral sex.

??It?s called subtext. ??That?s ridiculous.

Musicals don?t make me wanna give blowjobs.

Remember the night after we saw Wicked?

??But? ??After Lion King in New York?

Godspell? Mamma Mia?

Oh, my gosh.

Broadway?s purpose is to make women famished for blowjobs.

I?m so sorry.

This is crazy.

Musical theater people are respected, refined, cultured!

They?re bros.

Stephen Sondheim, Elton John, Andrew Lloyd Webber?

They?re total bros who hang out at Hooters.

I?m so sorry.

It can?t be.

I?ve loved musicals

since I saw Grease with Jacob Harrison and his brother Kip, and we?

Oh, my God!

No one cares about wicked people

Now, she?s gone, but we don?t care

Come on. We have to go.

??What are you doing here? ??Right now!

You?re not watching this trash. Come on!

Would you mind?

I?m trying to enjoy this musical I?m with my granddaughter.

You f*cking pervert!

All right, get the hell outta here.

What are you doing?

It?s time to put an end to Broadway once and for all.

You?ll do great in the Emerald City. I?m sure you can?t wait to go!

??Take me away to that special place ??That blowjob place

??Where people like us can all live free ??Free to give blowjobs

It?s Spider-Man.

Sorry.

Take me away to that special place

Sorry, folks, we are in a hold.

The musical came to a screeching halt,

as patrons flooded out the exits, and water flooded the theater.

The only fatality was a young boy who could not get out in time.

The fire chief said it was unfortunate he wasn?t wearing a life preserver.

I?m sorry you?re little friend was k*lled by Spider-Man tonight.

Just know that for Spider-Man to have done what he did,

he must have had a very good reason.

Spider-Man works in mysterious ways.

And wherever he is, he loves you.

It?s just so wrong, for men to manipulate women like that.

Screw the singing and the dancing. A woman?s mouth is sacred!

Tomorrow, I?ll call Women?s Day magazine

and expose the whole conspiracy.

I?m sorry. I love you.

I shouldn?t had tried to brainwash you. You have every right to be mad.

I don?t know if I can really be mad at you

for doing something every guy in America does.

Really?

The bottom line is I love going to those shows.

If the fallout from that is I make you really happy for a while,

I guess they?re actually a pretty magical thing.

You?re the best.

What Broadway show you think is coming to Denver next?

Whatever it is, it?s worth the ticket price.

Because couples that pay to see it are gonna be stronger,

better and much, much happier.

You?ll get a blowjob.
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