17x03 - World w*r Zimmerman

Episode transcripts of the TV show, "South Park." Aired August 1997 to current.*
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The misadventures of four boys who live in the fictional town of South Park, Colorado.
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17x03 - World w*r Zimmerman

Post by bunniefuu »

I'm goin'
down to South Park

Gonna have myself a time

- Friendly faces everywhere

Humble folks
without temptation

I'm goin'
down to South Park

Gonna leave my woes behind

- Ample parking day or night

People spouting,
"Howdy neighbor"

Headin' on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind

Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine

Hey, Token.
What's up, bro?

- Nothing.
- Nothing. Me neither.

Nothing's going on.
Sucks.

Everything good with you?

- Yeah.
- Sweet.

Hey, Jimmy,
what are you doing?

I'm just getting ready
for classes-

Yeah, I'm just hanging out
with Token.

Did you know if it wasn't
for African-Americans,

we wouldn't
have rock and roll?

So cool that we have
a black president.

It's about time.

- Is he doing it again?
- He's doing it again.

Dude, um, what are you doing
after school, Token?

You wanna-
you wanna hang out?

- I, uh, have band practice.

- God, you are so cool.

All right, bro.
I'll catch you at recess.

Fist bump.
Fist bump, bro.

Cartman, are you feeling
all right?

Yeah, I feel great.
Why?

You think something's wrong?

All right,
now, the French Revolution

was basically started
by a young man named Marius,

who only new Jean Valjean
as an older man-

" No!

The French Government,
at the time,

was led by Javert
who was trying-

- No! No!

No, stop!
Token, stop!

My brains-
stop eating my brains!

Brad Pitt, aah!

Hey, Token.
What's up, bro?

Fist bump?

Eric, something
is clearly wrong, mkay?

And it would best
to just get it out in the open.

- It's Token.

I think
he's a ticking time b*mb.

Why do you think Token
is a ticking time b*mb?

- He's pissed off

because of something
that happened

a long time ago,
but he won't forget.

You think he blames you
for something?

But it wasn't me.
It wasn't my fault.

Well, have you thought
about maybe

writing your feelings down
in a poem?

Write a poem and give that-
give that to Token?

No, it's too gay.
It would only make things worse.

Well, Eric,
you need to do something

because you keep
losing sleep, mkay?

And sleep is very important
to your success at school.

Maw?

Mkay.
I'll be mkay.

Mkay, are you sure?
Because I'm here if you need me.

- Mkay.

No, Token!
Leave Brat Pitt alone.

Brad Pitt fighting zombies!
No, Token! Token!

- Eat your breakfast, girls.

- Where's Daddy?

You can eat without your
father in the room, now hurry.

Daddy!

Good morning, girls.
Save Daddy any pancakes?

Look at that, 6:00 A.M.,

and my family
is already smiling.

How did I get
such a perfect husband?

How did I get
such a beautiful wife?

- I love you, Dad.

Love you too, princess.
I love both of you equally.

Nothing can ever go wrong so
long as we all have each other.

Today apparently
will be the day.

CNN has just received word
that a verdict

in the George Zimmerman trial

is expected to come
at any moment.

Zimmerman is accused
of sh**ting Trayvon Martin,

and a jury will now decide
his fate.

Daddy,
who is Trayvon Martin?

- Nobody.

Let's just get you girls
to school.

Is it bigger than a bread box?

- What's a bread box, Dad?

Daddy's so cool.

- You can say that again.

Why aren't we moving?
What's going on?

Hey, hey, hey,
it's a beautiful day

And I can't stop myself
from smil-

We interrupt this cool song
for a news bulletin.

A verdict has just been
handed down

in the case
of George Zimmerman.

In a shocking turn
of events,

the jury has found Zimmerman
not guilty.

- Oh, my God.

Many African-Americans
are outraged by the verdict,

and they are most likely
about to go totally 'nanas.

' Ahh!

- f*ck you, Brad Pitt.

- No! No!

Everyone get out
of the car, go!

Oh, my God, run!

Ahh!

Token, no.

Token, we had nothing
to do with it.

I know you're pissed off, Token,
but be reasonable.

- f*ck you, Brad Pitt.

No, no, no!
Agh!

Ah.

Hey, Token, how you doing?

- I'm good.
- That's awesome.

I'm so stoked
that we're best friends.

Fist bump.

Fist bump.

No!
My wife, Token!

Token, that's my wife!

- Okay, really?

No, Token.
Stop eating my daughter, no!

Now, Eric, whatever it is
you and Token are going through,

you need
to talk through it, mkay?

The problems
you two are having

have become a distraction
for everybody else, agreed?

- Agreed.

Okay, Token,
come on in, please.

- Oh, boy, here we go.

Token, I've been talking
with Eric,

and he's really upset that
you two aren't getting along.

You have some things
you want to say, Eric?

Token, I wasn't
on that jury, okay?

- What jury'?

This grudge
that you're holding

against an entire group
of people

should be directed
at just a few, not at me.

Okay, Token, what are
your feelings about that?

- I don't know what to say.

I wrote a poem.
Is it okay if I read my poem?

It's called
"I Was Not the b*llet."

"I was not the b*llet.
I was not the g*n.

"I was not the juror
that set the sh**t free.

"I was not the trigger.
I was not the hate.

"Nor was I the judge,
but still you judge me.

"I was not the black family
mourning for the death.

"'Ooh, somebody sh*t
our children.

"Lordy, what we do now?'

And I was not the verdict."

This isn't a poem,
it doesn't even rhyme.

It's going to rhyme, Token,
just hold on.

"I was not the sh**t.
I was not the g*n.

So, Token, you should be cool
while we're all here at school."

- Can I go back to class now?

Eric, do you feel better
about all this?

Yeah.
Yeah, I do.

I think we really had
a breakthrough here.

- Okay, thanks, Token.

It's going to be okay.
I think we're all safe now.

All:
We are cows, proud and true!

Come on, South Park,
moo, moo, moo!

Go, Cows!

Okay, thank you,
cheerleaders.

That was very nice.

Next, we have a student
who would like to perform

an original rap song

based on his award-winning poem

"I Was Not the b*llet,"

with backup music
by Butters Stotch.

Black or white,
it's all right

Black or white,
let's not fight

I was not the b*llet,
I was not the g*n

I was not the jury,
so don't blame me, son

Zimmerman was wrong
- Not our fault!

- Zimmerman was wrong
- It's not Eric's fault!

Black or white,
it's all right

Black or white,
let's not fight

White people say, "Ho!"

all: Ho.

- Black people say. "HEY!"

White people say, "Ho, ho."
all: Ho, ho.

Black people say,
"Hey, hey, hey."

Uh-oh, I think the white people
are winning.

White people got you b*at,
black people.

You better represent.

Let me hear you say,
"I don't blame the white people,

no: no, II

- All right, that's enough!

You think
I should feel bad for you

because of
the Trayvon Martin verdict?

- Token, calm down.

What the hell
is wrong with you?

Why are you all sitting here
listening to this?

- Oh, God, here it comes!

Get down, everybody,
get down now!

Clear the streets!
Everyone clear the streets!

We got to get the f*ck
out of here!

Mom, it's starting.
We gotta go!

Come on, come on!

J"J"

Come on, we got to move!
It's spreading, let's go!

Does that little boy
have a g*n?

- Get inside.
- But-

- Get inside!

Drive!
You gotta drive now!

- What's going on?

- Get to an airport!
- An airport? But-

Lady, we've got
about ten minutes

before this entire country
is up in flames.

If you wanna live,
you better step on the gas.

Oh, wait, is this a Tesla?
sh*t!

Well, step on the prissy pedal.
We're gonna die!

Now calling rows 10 through 30
for boarding.

- The outbreak has started!

We gotta get the f*ck
out of here!

- An outbreak?
- Which one?

Get on the plane!
Let's move!

Let's go, go, go, go!

Oh, my God!

My God,
what's going on out there?

The outbreak's starting.
Fly the plane now!

Maybe now you can tell us
what the hell is going on.

- The end of the world.

We've got one sh*t
and one sh*t only,

and that's to find a place where
the contagion can't reach us.

What contagion?
My wife didn't get on the plane.

Take this plane
back to Denver!

- You don't understand.

There's no Denver left
to go back to.

All right, what the hell
is going on here?

- We don't know anything.

First, it was talk
of a hijacking,

then reports of an outbreak
of some kind.

Confirmed reports of panic
in a rural town

in the Colorado Rockies.

Sir, the pilot of flight 82
wants an update.

They're asking permission
to land.

- Stall them.

I don't want that plane
landing anywhere

until we know what the hell
we're dealing with.

- Sir, you better look at this.

This was found
in the airport lavatory.

It seems to be
a survival guide of some kind.

- Survival of what?

- From the looks of it,

a contagion outbreak
of the worst kind.

- Oh, my God.

DA43 to tower.
Please advise!

Damn it!
They aren't telling me anything.

- You think it's a virus?
- Virus, bacteria-

Either way,
we're all dead.

Find out if he thinks it's safe
to land in Los Angeles.

- What about Los Angeles?

Can we take the plane
to Los Angeles?

- Not a chance.

By now, most of the urban cities
will be compromised.

This whole thing spreads
from city to city.

We need to go somewhere
the spread won't take hold,

like Iceland.

This plane won't make it
to Iceland.

You got a better idea,
assh*le?

- Everyone quiet!

I have to think.
- Yes, let him think!

I can't think here.
I need a magazine and a toilet.

- Oh! I'm just finishing up.
- Agh!

Hey!

- One of them is in the back.
- What?

- What do you mean?
- Everyone just calm down.

We have to stay in control!

Ah! Ah!

I won't become one of them!
Aghh!

- Yaw.!

- sh**t it!

Engine, engine, number nine,
running down Chicago line

If the train
should jump the track,

Do you want
your money back?

- Yes.
- Y-e-s spells "yes"

Aghh!

Now, Token, what you need
to understand, mkay,

is that a school assembly
is not the time and place

to be yelling
and causing distractions, mkay?

If there's somebody
causing you problems,

then we don't disrupt
the assembly.

Mkay, you come
and you talk to me.

He's just out
looking for trouble.

Well, that's
your side of it, Token,

but, you know,
Eric has his side as well.

Have you thought
about maybe writing him a poem?

Mkay, write Eric a poem,
tell him how you feel?

No? Mkay.

Well, I'm telling you, Token,

you let it go,
and he'll let it go,

and it'll all be fine, mkay?

J"J"

- No, the plane crashed!

We're in the Colorado mountains
somewhere.

Matt? Matt!

My husband-he said the outbreak
was all over the news,

but everything was totally fine
where he was.

Totally fine?
Then it hasn't happened yet.

Oh, my God,
we still have time.

Help!
Help me!

Please, I have two little girls
in Chicago.

Please, find them!

- It's okay.

We have reason to believe
it hasn't spread yet.

- Then you have to stop it.

' Yes!

There must be
a patient zero-

the person
it all starts from.

- His name is Token.

We have to k*ll him
before he infects everyone else!

I won't do it!
He used to be my friend.

You have to!
You have to be strong.

If you can stop this,
if you can save the world,

then you have to do it.

Promise me.

Promise...me.

All right, I promise.

I won't let the black people
riots destroy the world.

Thank you-
Wait. What?

Oh. my God!
Oh. my God!

We're going to live
through this, do you hear me?

- Yes!
- Come on!

First, a wave of 911 calls
about a virus,

and now, a plane
has apparently gone down

in the Rocky Mountains.

Is this the beginning
of the end?

- Oh, boy, zombie apocalypse.

The government is looking
for a patient zero,

going only off of this sketch,

which was found in a notebook
at the airport.


Anyone with information
regarding patient zero

is asked to contact
the authorities immediately.

- Holy moly!

- Can I help you?

Stay by the window.
Tell me if anything changes.

I need something
that can sh**t

with complete accuracy
from a distance.

All right, you want a r*fle,
like this .22 caliber.

What is it
you intend to sh**t?

- A person.

You mean a person
who's threatening you?

- Threatening all of us.
- Please! Please hurry.

It's important!
- Well, you should be fine,

so long as the person
breaks into your house

and is an immediate thr*at
to you.

What? How am I supposed
to get a person

to break into my house?

You can't sh**t someone
who threatens you

just out on the street.

Well, unless, of course,
you're in a state that has

a stand-your-ground law.
- Stand my ground?

Please!
We're running out of time!

See, now,
with a stand-your-ground law,

you can legally sh**t somebody
that's threatening you

whether they're
in your house or not.

Yes, yes, that's what I need.
I'll take that.

No, no, see,
you gotta be in the state

with a stand-your-ground law,
like Florida.

- This is hopeless.

How am I supposed to sh**t Token
with all these stupid rules?

Wait a minute.
I can't sh**t Token.

But I can sh**t
anyone I want in Florida?

So long
as they're threatening you.

What?
What is it, please?

Hurry! My husband
might still be alive!

The other way to stop
the outbreak.

Token isn't
the only patient zero.

The outbreak won't happen
if we sh**t George Zimmerman.

We have to get to Florida!

Let's go, let's go!

Let's move, move, move, move!
Let's go!

Find the closest airport
in Florida.

This plane is going
to Baltimore.

If we don't get to Florida,
there's not going to be

a Baltimore left!

Black guy in the back!

All right.
Now, let's find Zimmerman.

- Put this on.

We have to stay hidden
from here out.

- What are we going to do?

I'm going to flush out
patient zero,

and you're going to sh**t him.
It's the only way.

- What if he att*cks us first?

Don't worry, nobody
can see us wearing black.

I haven't had the time
to thank you

for doing what you-

- Eat your breakfast, girls.

- Where's Daddy?

You can eat without your
father in the room, now hurry.

Daddy!

Good morning, girls.
Save Daddy any pancakes?

Look at that, 6:00 A.M.,

and my family's
already smiling.

How did I get such a perfect
husband, George Zimmerman?

And how did I get
such a beautiful wife?

- I love you, Dad.

Love you too, princess.
I love both of you equally.

Nothing can ever go wrong, so
long as we all have each other.

Is there any hope for stopping
the zombie apocalypse?

CNN has just received word

that the government has learned
the identity of patient zero.

The nine-year-old thr*at
to humanity

has been tracked down,

and measures are being taken
to stop him.

Daddy,
what's a patient zero?

Hello, Mr. Zimmerman.
Your country needs you.

- What do you need from me?

- We...

need you to sh**t a young
African-American for us.

- I gave that up.

You're the best,
Zimmerman.

We just need you to do it
one more time

for the security
of the world.

Damn it, I have a wife
and kids now.

- Then do it for your family.

This is about protecting people,
Zimmerman,

keeping our streets safe...

So that our children are free
to go out and smell the flowers.

- Something's wrong.

Look out!

My God,
I didn't even see him.

- Nice work, Zimmerman.

- Are you guys okay?
- What was that, Daddy?

- More needless v*olence.

Nonsense,
you did what you had to.

You're a hero.

- That may be true,

but I'll have to live with this
the rest of my life.

Even though I'll be
walking around a free man.

Hey, wait a minute, this kid
isn't black-he's white.

- Wait. What?

- Guilty!

- Bahhh!

Bahhhh!

Bah! Bah! Bah!

Bahhhh!

The zombie apocalypse
is over.

All the panic,
crashing planes, and chaos

appear to have,
for some reason,

d*ed with George Zimmerman.

And as for the little boy

who was so mercilessly
gunned down,

although he survived
the sh**ting,

his wishes
are to remain anonymous,

giving the hospital
only the nickname "Brad Pitt...

but cooler."

That sure wasn't much
of a zombie apocalypse.

- Yeah, that sucked.

Well, at least I'll bet
Token's glad it's over with.

Aren't you, Token?

Hey, Token.
'Sup, bro?

How's it going, dude?
I know how it feels now.

You made everyone think
I'm a f*cking patient zero.

- Dude, I'm saying I'm sorry.
- So what?

- Uh-oh.

Sound like
you're still angry, Token.

- f*ck you.
- All right, Token, come on.

This is ridiculous.

I know you totally want
to kick my ass right now.

You'd like to walk right up
and punch me in the face,

but what's that gonna solve?

I've got a way better idea.

Fist bump?

Come on, dude, fist bump.

Bump that sh*t, bro.
Be the bigger person.

That was-
he was on my ground.

You all saw that, right?

Everything inside the red line
is mine.

Inside the red line-
that's my ground.

He was on it.

It's a beautiful day

And I can't stop myself
from smiling

If we're drinking,
then I'm buying

J"And I know
there's no denying

Both: Daddy!

It's a beautiful day,
the sun...

You're safe, girls.
Daddy did it.

- Ah! Aghh!

Ah! Oh, man.

The ending to that movie
was so terrible.

You're having nightmares
about the ending

to World w*r Z again?
- Yeah. So bad.

- That's what's bothering you?

Not the fact
that you're a m*rder*r?

- Jury found me innocent, Kyle.

- You're a m*rder*r.

You interrupt people
when they talk.

Eric Cartman to
the counselor's office, please.

- Oh, man.

Oh, boy.

- Have a seat, Eric.

Now, boys, I, for one,
am sick and tired

of this little feud
you're having, mkay?

This has clearly gone too far,

and you owe each other
an apology,

or you're getting
detention!

An apology?
He sh*t me!

Well, he was technically
standing his ground, Token.

Yeah, Token,
that's the law.

Everything inside the red line
is lava.

Well, it's a pretty
f*cking stupid law!

- Token, calm down.

And why does
standing your ground

not apply
to f*cking white people?

- Oh, God, here we go again!
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