21x08 - Moss Piglets

[bunniefuu]

♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪

♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

♪ People spouting,
"howdy, neighbor!" ♪

♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪

♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪

Okay, guys, it's November,

and who can tell me
what that means?!

Yes, Francis?

It's time for
the Special Ed Science Fair!

-?Yea!
-?Science fair!

That's right! The Science Fair
is this weekend,

and I know you are all
very excited to show

the projects
you've been working on!

-?Yea!
-?All right!

Science Fair!

This week, we'll be hearing

all about your projects,

and first up we have

Nathan and Mimallah.

For our science fair project,

we will be showing
the destructive force

of nature by simulating
a volcano!

-?Ooooh!
-?Ooooh!

With vinegar and baking soda,

we will make this
papier-?mâché volcano explode!

-?Aaah!
-?

With the power and fury
of Mount Kilauea!

Our science fair project
is sure to be a blast.

Get it? A blast.

All right, what do you
guys think of Nathan

and Mimallah's project idea?

-?Yay!
-?Yay!

We've done it, Mimsey.

We're gonna win
the science fair for sure.

And then every chick
in this school

is gonna want to have
sex with us.

Oh, gee, boss, I don't know
about sex with no chicken.

Not those chicks, numbskull.

I'm talking about b*tches.

You know what girls like?
They like winners.

And when we win
the science fair,

we're gonna be up to our ears
in p*ssy.

Is it just me,
or are things around here

getting worse and worse?

It's definitely not just you.

I think everyone's is shock
that Heidi went back to Cartman.

What keeps driving her
back to him?

It's so weird.

And she's so...

Mean and angry these days.

People change.
They say you become

more and more like
the person you're with,

and I guess it's
true with Heidi.

Hey guys, wassup?

Hey, Heidi.

What are you guys talking about?

Nothing.

Bullcrap, you're all

talking about me again!

'Cause you're
judgmental b*tches.

Eh.

Heidi...

Are you okay?

It's just...
You look...

I look what?

You know, you just look --?

What, I look fat?

Is that what you wanna
say, Wendy?

[Bleep] you, bitch.

She's just concerned, Heidi.

Meh, myeh, meh, meh, meh, Heidi.

I'm just trying
to enjoy my lunch here.

Can I do it without you guys
sh1tting all over me?

All right good, Timmy.

Test 42-?A is successful!

Let's move on to the next phase.

Well, hello, gentlemen.

Oh, hey, fellas.
We're doing great.

Timmy!

Thought we'd stop by to see how

your science fair project
was going.

I thought we was comin'
to rub their faces

in how good our science
fair project was, boss!

Shut up, Mimsey!

So, what are
you guys working on?

Oh, it's fantastic.

This year, Tim-?Tim and I

are doing our project
on water bears!

Ohh, water bears.

You hear that Mimsey?

Like there's any such thing
as water bears.

That blue Science Fair Ribbon
is as good as ours.

Well, we gotta get back to
our lava volcano.

Good luck finding your
water bears.

Oh, would you like to see them?

Wha? What are you
talking about?

Timmy and I have gathered
thousands of water bears.

Take a look into the microscope.

Water bears are water-?dwelling,
eight legged micro-?animals.

Timmy!
They are one of nature's

most resilient animals.

Studies have shown
they can survive lava

and even the vacuum of space.

What... How...

Where the [bleep] did you
learn about these things?

Where all good scientists
learn from --? Octonauts.

Octonauts!

Some scientists believe
the study of water bears

is key to human survival.

Aw, gee, that sounds
a lot better than

a lava volcano, huh, boss?

Well not really,

because a science fair
is supposed to be an experiment.

I fail to see what
the experiment is here.

Oh, that's easy! You see,
for the past several weeks,

Tim-?Tim and me have
been training the water bears

to respond to different
sound waves.

We've found that they respond
best to Taylor Swift.

Hit it, Timmy. ♪ Oh, look
what you made me do ♪

Take a look!

♪ Look what you made me do ♪

♪ Look what you
just made me do ♪

♪ Look what you
just made me ♪

♪ Ooh, look what you
made me do ♪

We still have some
training to do,

but we're excited
about the results.

I have to admit your lava
volcano is pretty great, too!

Maybe we could tie
for first place.

Come in.

You wanted to see me,
Mr. Mackey?

Oh, yes, Heidi! Uh,

we just wanted to see
if you have transportation

to the Special Ed Science Fair
this weekend or if you wanted us

to set something up for you.

What?

Uh, Saturday
is the science fair,

and you're the judge
for the competition.

Judge a special needs
science fair?!

Ugh, no, thanks.

Well, Heidi is there a problem

with you being the judge
this weekend?

Uh, yeah, it's Saturday,
and I don't wanna be at skewl.

But you're always the judge
of the Special Ed Science Fair

because you're
our best science student.

So, now I'm gonna be punished
by being forced to judge

a bunch of handicapped kids?!

But...? M'kay. You see
the problem is that

you volunteered last month,
Heidi.

You said you wanted to do it,
M'kay.

Well, how can you
expect students to commit

to things a month in advance?

I don't even know what
I want for dinner tonight!

Look, the kids have
worked really hard

and have done some
amazing projects.

You're gonna force me to
come to skew on a Saturday?!

Heidi...

Is everything all right?

Oh, what are you gonna
call me fat now, too?

It just so happens I'm a vegan!

Which means it's difficult
for me to get enough protein

so my body doesn't burn fat,
it burns muscle,

which makes it look like
I'm fat, but I'm actually

way healthier than any of you!

Heidi, you're judging
the Special Ed Science Fair

this weekend.

Aw, God damn it!

Mimsey! Come on!

Okay, Nathan!

Shhhhh!
Shut the [bleep] up!

Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

Gee, we could get in
a lot a trouble.

Y--you sure we should mess
with Jimmy and Timmy's

science fair project?

Mimsey, do you know
what Jimmy is?

He's a cockblocker.

Arr, what's a cockblocker?

Every time I come up a way
to score with the ladies,

there's Jimmy
trying to one-?up me.

This science fair is
supposed to finally make us

successful enough to get chicks.

Aw, gee, I don't know
if we should use

our position of power
to exploit women.

I'm not letting those assholes
win the science fair.

That's why I say...

The only good water bears
are dead water bears.

Let's go!

♪

This is bullcrap!

How can they force me to be
the science fair judge?!

Now I know how it feels
to be a sl*ve!

It's... not exactly like
being a sl*ve, Heidi.

Yes, it is! Am I being paid
to judge the science fair?

No!

Do I have a choice?
No.

Ooh, yes, massa!

Lemme judge that science fair
for ya, sir!

God, will you stop?

Theresa, don't get all aggro
on me because you're pissed off

you're family
lives in a trailer.

My family doesn't live
in a trailer.

We live in a tiny home!
My parents downsized

to make a smaller footprint
on the environment.

That's what I said --? your
family lives in a trailer.

There's lots of progressive
people living in tiny homes.

There's five others
on our block!

Right.
That's called a trailer park.

I don't live in a trailer park!

Just don't even respond to her.

Just ignore her.

I'll try, but she's
such a bitch.

She wasn't talking
to you, Heidi.

Oh! Looks like Isla has
something to say, you guys!

Hold on, I'm sure this is
going to be really profound.

Go ahead, Isla, knock us out
with your wit and satire.

This should be good, you guys!

Hey, Heidi!
What's up?

Oh, hey, babe, what's going on?

What are you up to?

Nothing just talking to my
girlfriends about tiny homes.

Well, hello there, ladies.

Oh, hi, Nathan.

We just wanted to
remind you that this weekend

is the Special Ed Science Fair.

Oh, cool.

Yeah, that's right.

Pretty sure you'll all be
impressed with what you see.

Hope you can make it.

Did you see that, Mimsey?

The way those girls
bit their bottom lips

when I said Science Fair?

We're about to be
drowning in muff.

Nathan, Mimallah!
You gotta get to Special Ed!

Special Ed class
isn't for another two hours.

No, no!
You gotta see this!

Jimmy and Timmy's water bears!

They've changed!

What?

-?Whoa!
-?Ooooh!

-?So cool!
-?I can't believe it.

Jimmy and Timmy,
this is incredible!

You've somehow made them
even smarter!

What's going on?

Nathan!
It's amazing!

The water bears we've
trained are starting

to display social advancements!

But they're supposed to be dead!

Oof!

What social advancements?

They've actually evolved
to the point of doing

the hokey pokey!

The hokey pokey?

♪ You put your right foot in,
you put your right foot out ♪

♪ You put your right foot in,
and you shake it all about ♪

♪ You do the hokey pokey
and you turn yourself around ♪

♪ That's what it's all about ♪

You gotta be [beep] kidding me.

Boys, this might be
the single greatest

Special Ed Science Fair
project I've ever seen!

Butters.

Oh! Hey!

How would you like to
be the judge

for the Special Ed Science Fair
this weekend?

Uh, I can't.

I'm going to a birthday party.

Butters, don't be a d*ck!

Yeah don't make up excuses

because judging handicapped
students sounds terrible.

Yeah, Butters. God!

He's not making it up.
It's my birthday party.

Well, then could you
invite Heidi, please?

She needs an excuse
not to have to go to

the special needs science fair.

What's wrong with supporting
them, they're our friends?

Because nobody wants
to be trapped in a gym

with Special Ed science.

Actually, some of their projects
are pretty cool.

-?Shut up, Kyle!
-?Shut up, Kyle!

-?Samesies!
-?Samesies!

Look, it's all just
a complete waste of time!

It's not like
a Special Ed Science Fair

is actually gonna
contribute to society!

Move! Move aside, kids!
Official business!

Move it, children!

Excuse me, can I help you?

We understand that you're
about to have a science fair

With some very interesting
experiments.

That's right. The science fair

is this Saturday
from 10:00 a. M. To 2:00 p. m.

We're here to help
however we can.

Your Special Ed department

has all our resources
and our support.

This science fair...

just might be what saves us all.

What the hell is going on?!

Everywhere I turn, people
are being given handouts

while I'm forced
to work my ass off!

It's total bullshit!

Yeah. Uh, babe I understand
that you're pissed off,

but, um, you know, it is recess.

Maybe we should relax
and have some fun.

Relax?
How can I relax?!

I get straight A's!
I ace every test!

And who gets all the support?

The Special Ed department!

Good.
Bring it on in.

These kids need to have access

to everything they need.

Wow, look at this, Tim Tim.

They've all been researching
water bears, too!

That's correct.

Like you, we've come to realize

that water bears are
the the key to our future.

Are these
the special water bears

we read about
on your school message board?

That's right.

The water bears
we've been working with

appear to be evolving somehow.

Then they are the key
to our survival, boys.

Gentlemen, perhaps I can
interest you in a lava volcano.

You won't believe your eyes

when I add
some simple baking soda.

There's no time for that.

We need everyone working
on Jimmy and Timmy's project.

I'm gonna let you kids all in
on a little secret.

We don't want to create a panic,

but the end is very near...

and we have very little time.

Fellow students,

I have asked to speak today

because of the hypocrisy
and bullying

that is coming
from the administration

at this so-?called skewl.

It is an outrage that
our principal and counselors

demand our participation
in frivolous programs

that are outrageously
overfunded.

Why is it that
the school allows funding

that only goes
to special-?needs students?

Are the rest of us not special?

If we are continually asked
to work for no money

and ask our parents
to pay for our programs,

then soon we will all be poor

and forced to live
in a trailer park, like Theresa.

It's not a trailer!

Theresa, get over it.

You live in a trailer park.
It's not a big deal.

Oh, o-?okay, honey.

You're kind of getting
off topic, sweetie.

What did you say?!

I just...? I just want you
to stay on point

so we can get this over with.

"Get this over with"?!

You're supposed
to be supporting me!

I am supporting you, sweetheart.

Being supportive doesn't mean
you criticize me, assh*le!

Just forget it!

My point is,
if the school administration

doesn't cancel the science fair,

I will see to it
that they are all fired

for discrimination!

She's kind of like Cartman

but with the ability
to follow through.

Oh, dude.
Bro.

Francis, could you hand me
the sound-?wave generator?

This is bullshit.

The Special Ed Science Fair
is turning into a love-?fest

for Jimmy and Timmy's project.

They're gonna get
all the fame and glory.

Yeah, I guess we kind of sh*t
ourselves in the foot, huh, boss?

If it weren't for us,
those water bears

wouldn't have even gotten
smarter in the first place.

Hey, Mimsey.
That's right.

They don't deserve the credit.

We do.

Uh, excuse me.

If you're all trying
to figure out

why these water bears
are different,

you're talking to the wrong guy.

Wh-?What do you mean, Nathan?

Mimsey and I did
some experimenting

with the water bears
on our own --?

We was tryin' to k*ll 'em!

It was us who made them evolve.

So we should be the ones
working for the government.

The government?

W-?We aren't the government.

Y-?You're not the government?

But you said you were here
to help stop us

from becoming extinct.

Not you, us.

We're with... the NFL.

Our fans are leaving
at an exponential rate.

We've been hit
with anthem protests,

protests to those protests,

and, worse of all, concussions.

The more reports that come out,

the more people are getting
turned off by football.

We've been experimenting
with water bears

because we believe
they are our last hope.

Oh, I get it!

You've been experimenting
with water bears to see how

to make humans more impervious
to concussions.

No. We've been experimenting
with water bears

to try and make them fans.

A beautiful night for football

here in Los Angeles

as the Chargers take on
the Buffalo Bills.

And a record sellout crowd

here at the stadium.

Football clearly
more popular than ever,

with a whopping 17 million
in attendance!

The NFL, of course, working
really hard to reach new viewers,

and it looks like
they've found their answer

in tardigrades.

The water bears are thrilled
to be here,

and, of course, love seeing
themselves on the jumbotron.

They're all ready
for some football,

and enjoying
the fan-?favorite kiss cam!

And we're ready for kickoff

as the cheers of 17 million fans
rock the stadium!

We're running out of time.

We have to see
if these water bears

truly are different.

Insert the box!

Gently.

What do you see now?

Uh...

I see the box.

What--? What's in the box?

What are the water bears doing?

Uh, they're just walking around,
and --? Oh, wait!

They appear to be interested
in the box!

These water bears are different.

All right, everyone, listen up!

Give me your attention, please.

Due to circumstances
beyond our control,

we are canceling
the Special Ed Science Fair.

- Oh, no! Canceling?
- What?

You can't cancel
the science fair.

We're on the verge
of a breakthrough here.

It's canceled.
You guys can all get this sh*t

out of here and leave.
Thank you.

You don't understand!

The Special Ed Science Fair
is our only hope!

I'm sorry, but, uh,
our hands are tied...

by Heidi.

I think you all
fail to understand

the seriousness
of our situation --?

Football is dying!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Okay.

Close the door!
Everyone back to work.

Nobody will stop
this Special Ed Science Fair!

Do what he says!

Aah! Okay!
Jesus Christ!

Are you just gonna stand there?
Do something!

What the hell
do you want me to do?

I want you to have some balls

and act like you care about me!

Heidi, you need to stop
being such a bitch!

Call me a "bitch" again.

Do it.

Call me a "bitch" again.

You are... acting...
like a... bad girlfriend.

That's what I thought!

Hey, wait a minute!

The water bears
have changed again.

I think it's working.

Let me see that!

Yes!
Yes, they're starting to adapt!

Son of a bitch. We just might
have ourselves some fans.

Now, quickly, children.

We must replicate these
water bears to create more!

If nobody else is gonna
do anything, I will!

Wha...

The water bears!

- ?Get her!
- ?Stop her!

She's over here!

Heidi!

Heidi, will you please
listen to me?!

Move it!

Get the [bleep] outta the way!

I said get outta the way,
you assholes!

- Get her!
- ?She's over here!

We got the fat girl.

Front of the school.

sh*t!

Little girl, stop.

It doesn't have to end this way.

Move aside!
Move aside!

Heidi, seriously...

you need to listen to me.

I don't... have to listen...

to anybody.

Yes. Yes, you do.

You need to listen.

[Bleep] you.

No [bleep] you.

Little girl, please.

What you have in your hand
is very special.

Well, I'm sick of everyone
treating me like sh*t.

Think about the NFL...

how much joy it brings everyone.

Don't listen to them.
Give the water bears to me.

I deserve all the fame
and b*tches.

Heidi, you gotta stop
being so angry.

Look, if you --? if you don't
do it for the NFL,

what about humanity?

Those creatures are showing
the first signs of sentience.

Think about what they could
mean for science,

for medicine,
making people better.

Come on, babe.

We all want the old Heidi back.

Screw all you guys.

Ahh!

Dude. Wow.

Is there something
you wanna talk about?

No, I was just
trying to figure out

why you decided to drink
20,000 micro animals

that were showing
signs of intelligence.

Whatever. It's Saturday,
and I'm not in school.

Yeah, you're...? you're
not in school.

How come we never
snuggle anymore?

Wh-?What?

We used to snuggle all the time,

and it's totally gone away.

What's happened?

Well, bunny, we still --?
- Snuggle!

Yes, yes, let's --? let's
snuggle, yes.

God damn it!
How come there's nothing

to watch on Saturday
but kids' cartoons?

All right, kids!
Now let's do the hokey pokey!

♪ You put your left foot in,
you put your left foot out ♪

♪ You put your left foot in ♪

♪ And you shake it all about ♪
Ooh.

What's going on in nya?

Whoa.
What is going on in nya?

I feel something moving around.

Ahp....

Ew.

Snuggle!

Okay.
Okay, honey.

Agh. Ugh.

Well?

Did you have any luck,
Mr. Jones?

I'm afraid, Commissioner,
that the Special Ed Science Fair

failed to produce
more viable water bears.

Then the NFL truly has no hope.

We're done for.

Not quite.

We were able to obtain
something else

that just might be our future.

Ohh!