02x10 - Moonlighting

[bunniefuu]

This is my sound makes me feel strong Time to go to work.

Hello? Time to go to work.

Whoa! Ugh.

Did you say something? Come on, guy, don't you think it's a little early for a swim? Whoa! Aah! Aah! Ugh! Aw, for me? Those guys are the heroes for bagging a-a goldfish? Is that Rombauer and Lansky? You've seen their commercials? No.

I-I know them from wait.

They have a commercial? Here you go, boys.

And they get paid? I'm seriously going about this job the wrong way.

So make way to start the revolution make way we're gonna have fun tonight make way to start the revolution so make way so make way to start the revolution make way to start the revolution so make way Psst! Psst! Action! Aah! It's an evo! Down, you! Has this ever happened to you? Hi.

- We're Rombauer and Lansky - The evo guys.

When your favorite fern goes evo, you can forget about Providence.

They only have time for the big stuff.

So call us instead.

We are two Providence-trained evo-abatement experts.

I called the evo guys, and just look what they did.

Your evo problem isn't too small for us, and our prices aren't too big for you.

Serving all of Brooklyn.

Except Canarsie.

I can't go to Canarsie.

Long story.

So, if you've got an evo in your home, your boat, your R.

V or your boat.

just call Rombauer and Lansky.

We do the jobs that Providence won't do.

We're here 24/7 to help you.

But don't call on weekends or before noon.

So, you're telling me we can afford dozens of humongo screens in this room alone, but we don't have our own commercial.

We don't have a commercial, though, do we? I mean, if we did, I'd be starring in it, right? This is no joke.

Even small evos can be dangerous if not handled properly.

Providence can't stop them all.

These boys want to pitch in, fine by me.

¿Por qué, Carmen? ¿Por qué? Raah! No, no.

Holiday's right.

I should check these guys out.

Thanks, but I'm sure you have better things to do.

Never too busy to look into something that concerns you.

Me cacheteas como mi madre me besaba mis cachetes.

I'm not concerned.

Can't hear you.

Already out the door.

Right after I see what Carmen says to Isabella.

Or I could just go now.

So, once we're done catching the evo in your basement, uh, if there's anything else you'd like me to look into Just call the 800 number.

We offer a discount for repeat customers.

What was that?! I won't bore you with the technical term.

Trust me what you're hearing is a normal part of the help! Hang on, Lansky! Yeah? Well, you'll be singing a different tune when you see what's in ourbag of tricks.

Was I supposed to bring that? Aaaaaah! Rex! What's Providence doing here? We got this evo in the bag.

I figured that from the way you came flying out that window.

Yeah, well, you got your methods we got ours.

And this is our case.

Wait.

I just want to talk to you guys.

Oh.

You mean Providence needs to consult with us? Why didn't you say so? So, last time I saw you guys You can say it.

I washed out of the training academy.

And he quit Providence after one week on the job.

We're not ashamed of that anymore.

I mean, look at us now.

Ow! Hey, help us catch this thing, and then we can talk.

One cured evo coming up.

Ugh! He's incurable.

This may get tricky.

Aaaaaah! UhI think it got away.

Great! The job was to get it out of the basement, and we did.

That's right.

There's no evo we can't b*at.

For a very reasonable rate.

What did you do to my house?! That was my bad.

I took it out of your fee.

Huh? It's for 50 bucks.

Oh, I don't believe it! 50 bucks! Ouch! Hey, look at this.

That's weird.

Now it's purple and rock-solid.

Let's get a sample.

This could be important.

Important to who? We already got paid for this job.

A lot.

Can I get one more picture? Only if you get Rex in it.

He's really the one to thank for what we did here today.

Tell all your friends you shook hands with the newest member of the evo guys.

Uh, I appreciate the offer, guys, but I've already got a job.

Exactly.

You've got a j-o-b.

We're offering you the chance to get in on the ground floor of your own business With all the perks.

Give each of those ladies an extra pickle on our tab.

And while you're at it, get one for yourself.

You're Providence's number-one guy, and what do you have to show for it? What's the limit on your credit card? How much you got in your bank account? Hard to say, since I don't have any of those things.

Oh! Look, we can offer you a lot more than money.

Take a look at this.

Me and Lansky are on the menu.

The R&L; the roast beef and lettuce.

I'm the meat in my own sandwich.

And I'm the lettuce.

And with you, we could be even bigger.

We could expand to Staten Island, maybe even New Jersey.

Oh! I can't go to Jersey.

It's a long story.

Point is we could really make something of ourselves.

And did I mention working for yourself means no boss checking up on you.

Look, Providence has done a lot for me maybe not money or sandwiches, but I'm important there.

Rex, when you get back, I need you in the zoo.

The auto feeder flooded it with monkey chowagain.

I'm sorry.

You were saying? Look, I'm not asking you to quit Providence.

Just moonlight on the side with us, see what it's like to be your own boss.

I'm in.

Okay.

We'll give you a tryout.

But I got to warn you out here on the streets of Brooklyn, we fight evos our own way.

This is my song Shotgun! Won't last too long and now it's on Aah! Help! Aah! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! We do the jobs Providence won't.

And now se habla Español.

Shotgun! Now he's the meat in my sandwich? Neighbor called in a poodle that's leaving evo-sized messes on his lawn.

Okay, I-I see the dog, but where's the Ooh! Let me and Lansky handle this one.

Really? Really?! Yeah, really.

Oh! Aah! Oh! It was a pleasure working with youse.

Hey! It's that thing again.

And it looks like it's Really, really gross.

Aah! Okay, that's it.

I'm calling this in.

Or not.

It's got my communicator.

We have to stop it.

Unh-unh.

We have to help our clients , and right now, there's an evo parrot in park slope telling some really nasty "yo mama" jokes.

This is serious.

Oh, so now you're too good for the work we do? Well, that's fine, 'cause we were better off without you.

What?! Your business is booming thanks to me.

Exactly my business! I mean, our business mine and Lansky's.

And then you show up.

First, you steal our thunder, and now you're telling us what to do? If we wanted to be a couple of nobodies getting bossed around, we'd go back to Providence.

Yeah! Except Providence said they'd never take us back.

We don't have time for this right now.

He's right.

Who knows what that parrot's saying.

Could be children around.

Come on, Lansky.

Aah! You had to be the hero.

Aah! Whoa.

Problema.

Give me that! Rex: This is gonna hurt me a lot more than it's gonna hurt you.

Aaaaah! Aah! Thank you.

Oh.

So it's up to you to keep all this going.

Problem solved.

Guess I need a plan "b.

" Rex to Providence.

There's a funky foot fungus eating Brooklyn.

We noticed.

That kind of thing tends to get our attention.

Six, did you get it? Nothing.

No effect.

Oh, come on! At least I was able to hurt it.

Whoa! Okay, was able to hurt it.

Rex, I've been monitoring your conversation, as well as analyzing data streaming in from agents on the ground.

Thanks for catching me up on your day.

But how do we k*ll this stuff? It appears that once the fungus hits sunlight, it aero-oxidizes and becomes nearly indestructible.

But what's down in the tunnels hasn't been exposed to the sun.

That's why it's still green and vulnerable.

There's a chance it can be taken out from your location.

That's supposed to be good news? Yes.

Here's the bad.

There's a layer of oxidized fungus between you and the rest of us.

You're gonna have to do this alone.

I'm not alone.

Let's get one thing straight.

We're not here to save the day.

We only care about our company.

And you're part of our company.

Also, when we came back down here, we couldn't get out when we changed our mind.

Okay, that too.

But mostly what I said.

I appreciate it, but Look out! Whoa! We got to stop that thing from making more of that stuff.

But it's really smart.

That's not gonna matter this time, because this time, you're gonna have to face our Bag of tricks.

Don't tell me.

I thought you were gonna pack it in I said don't tell me! Incoming! Rombauer.

Aah! Where'd it get you? Your heart? Worse.

My wallet.

Rex: Wonderful.

Aah! Aah! Forget it.

We can't do this.

Sucker! You really thought we'd just give up? We're not the same guys who quit on Providence.

Yeah.

We're businessmen now.

And letting you destroy Brooklyn? That is definitely bad for business.

Rex: Hmm.

The fungus has stopped growing.

It's breaking apart.

Looks like teaming up with you wasn't such a bad idea after all.

We've got a level 2 event outside Duluth.

Mount up.

If you want to make it permanent, I bet I can talk Providence into taking you back.

We'll pass.

You got your job to do, and we got ours.

But if you ever need us Just call the evo guys.

Now serving all of Brooklyn and Staten Island.

Except Canarsie.

We're here Oh, sorry.

Go ahead, you.

We're here 24/7 to help you.

Not available before noon or on weekends.

We no longer habla Español.