04x19 - Down a Tree

[bunniefuu]

These pancakes taste funny.

- What do you mean?
- They're good.

Hm?

- Hey.
- Oh!

Mom made good pancakes!

Is up down? Is black
white? Is Dad smart?

How do you go from
"Mom made good pancakes"

to making fun of me?

Fourteen years of practice.

Mom, what happened?

Well, I got tired of you guys
making fun of my pancakes.

So I got up early,
made them from scratch.

And now, I expect
the jokes to stop.

All right, guys, see you later.

I'm heading over to Ivy's
to help her pack for college.

Oh, that's nice.

Why don't you have some
breakfast before you go?

Mom made delicious pancakes.

No, seriously.

These are amazing.

So you learn how to cook just
as I'm heading off to college?

Okay, Teddy, we agreed, we're
not making any more of those jokes.

Oh, we didn't agree on anything.

We're taking the jokes
one meal at a time.

PJ, could you help me in
the living room for a sec?

Sure.

- Thanks for making the pancakes.
- Mm-hm.

♪ Today's all burnt toast ♪

♪ Running late and Dad jokes ♪

♪ Has anybody
seen my left shoe? ♪

♪ I close my eyes, take a bite ♪

♪ Grab a ride, laugh out loud ♪

♪ There it is, up on the roof ♪

♪ I've been there,
I've survived ♪

♪ So just take my advice ♪

♪ Hang in there, baby
Things are crazy ♪

♪ But I know your
future's bright ♪

♪ Hang in there, baby ♪

♪ There's no maybe ♪

♪ Everything
turns out all right ♪

♪ Sure, life is up and down ♪

♪ But trust me, it
comes back around ♪

♪ You're gonna love
Who you turn out to be ♪

♪ Hang in there, baby ♪

Come in.

Hi, Mr. And Mrs. Wentz.

Welcome to our happy home.

What's wrong?

Our baby girl's
going off to college.

Yeah, we're all heartbroken.

Hey, hey, hey!

Well, one heart looks intact.

Ivy, I can't believe you'll
soon be miles away.

Mm, .

Which is a long
way to go for a visit.

- But only two hours by plane.
- Yeah, but Mom gets airsick.

Ivy, cheer down.

All right, I'm gonna go get
more boxes out of the garage.

You know, my parents are
sad I'm going off to college too.

But it's not the same.

You've got so many kids
at home, when one leaves,

it barely makes a dent.

I just don't know what
I'm going to do without her.

Well, you'll have more
time to follow the weather!

Oh, Teddy, how can I enjoy the weather
when there's a dark cloud over my heart?

Oh, Harry, even in
distress, you're poetic.

Come on, guys, where's
that ol' Wentz fire?

Hey, I know.

How about a couple verses of
"Row, Row, Row Your Boat"?

That always lifts your spirits.

Well, it's worth a try.

Okay.

♪ Row, row, row your boat ♪

♪ Gently down the stream... ♪

It's not as jaunty
as I remembered it.

Uh, guys, look,

I know that it's hard, but
what choice do you have?

I mean, what are you going to
do, move to Arizona with her?

I guess you're right.

Now just try to cheer up,
you know, for Ivy's sake.

Believe me, she is a lot
more upset than she seems.

Great news!

I just checked with the airline,

and I can fly standby tonight!

Whoo!

Charlie, honey, you
ready for your playdate?

Yay!

Who's coming over?

Taylor. I invited
her parents too.

So we're all having a playdate?

Bob, honey, this one is
actually going to be fun.

I met the mom,
Susan, she's really nice.

Oh, I met her.

I thought her name was Cheryl.

- No, it's Susan.
- Are you sure?

Am I sure that I'm
right and you're wrong?

Always.

Okay, that must be them.

Hi!

Taylor!

Hi, Susan!

Hi!

Amy, this is Taylor's
other mom, Cheryl.

- Oh, hi.
- Hi.

- This is my husband Bob.
- Hey, nice to meet you.

Come on in. Come on in.

Taylor has two moms.

Wow, nothing gets past you, Bob.

I'll tell you why you don't
have a girlfriend, Jake.

It's because you
say things like,

"Look how silky and
manageable my hair is."

That's weird.

A banana peel just fell on me.

No, we don't have a monkey.

All right, I'll call you later.

Hello?

Is someone in the tree house?

Whoever you are,

I have a plastic bat!

Ahh, I shouldn't
have said plastic.

PJ?

Hey!

How'd you know it was me?

Who else would break into our tree
house and put up a Gurgles poster?

The fan club has
over , members.

- If you factor in international...
- Don't need to know that.

What are you doing here?

I'm living here.

- What, why?
- Because...

Emmett and I couldn't pay our rent,
so we got kicked out of our apartment.

- Man.
- This is just temporary.

Okay? Please don't
tell Mom and Dad.

Well, normally
I'd blackmail you,

but what I'm hearing
is you're out of money,

so I'm at a loss.

Sorry to put you
in that position.

Well, since you're living here,

why don't you fix this
place up a little bit?

Mm, I don't know, I'd hate
to steal focus from the poster.

Oh, come on, there's a
house down there full of stuff.

A couple of chairs,
a throw pillow,

we'll really make this
place feel like home.

You're a good brother.

I just want to see you get
back on your feet again.

And then I'll blackmail you.

Oh, right.

So, Bob, what do you do?

I'm an exterminator.

Yeah, that usually
ends the conversation.

- What do you two do?
- I'm a lawyer.

Yeah, that's k*lled its
share of conversations, too.

I work from home so
I can be with Taylor.

- I'm a graphic designer.
- Graphic design!

I love that stuff.

Yeah, the designs
can be very, um...

graphic.

Okay, the girls are
upstairs, having a blast.

- Bob, you want to help me in the kitchen?
- Yeah, sure thing.

- They seem nice.
- I know, right?

- Great couple.
- Um...

- Just one question.
- Hm?

Usually, on these playdates,

I go downstairs with the
dad to watch the game.

So who, who am I going to
watch the game with now?

I don't want to make
any assumptions.

- Well, do you want me to ask them?
- No, no, no. You...

You know what?
I'll figure it out.

I can be pretty smooth.

This isn't going to
be pretty or smooth.

Okay, here we go.

Uh, so I was thinking
about heading downstairs

and watching the Rockies
game, if anyone's interested.

Okay if you are,
okay if you're not.

Well, I'm not a
huge baseball fan,

but I'll watch it with you.

Fantastic.

Susan's gonna watch the game!

I'm gonna watch the game.

No assumptions were made
and it all went very smoothly.

Susan, shall we?

Okay.

- His first time with two moms?
- Uh-huh.

Boy, things sure have
changed down here.

Oh, yeah. We're in
a good mood now.

And no language says
happy like German.

So why the big turnaround?

We have some exciting news.

We decided that if our
little girl is going to Arizona,

we're going with her.

What?

And it was all Teddy's idea.

What?

So then we realized there's
nothing holding us here,

so why not sell the
house, pack up the RV,

and move to Arizona
to be with our little girl?

Mm-hm.

And we never would've
thought of it if Teddy hadn't said,

"Why don't you just
move to Arizona?"

C'mon, honey, it's
our turn to get boxes.

Whoo-hoo!

What did you do?

Not what I was trying
to do, I'll tell you that.

T, do you know why I
worked so hard in high school?

So I could realize my dream.

- To go to college?
- Without my parents!

Ivy, relax,

I'm sure once they think this
through, they'll come to their senses.

Hey, Ivy, when
we get down there,

we can move the RV
right next to your dorm,

that way you can have
breakfast with us every morning.

Or we can all get a
meal plan together.

Doesn't that sound fun?

I don't know, T, does it?

- I love your house.
- Oh, thank you.

I'm so glad we could
get together, because...

You've been wanting
to get to know us better?

'Cause we feel the same way.

That's so sweet. I actually
wasn't going to say that.

But, um, I'm very glad
to get to know you too.

So, um, where do
you and Susan...

Come from. Well, I...

I actually grew up in Florida,
but Susan is from Colorado.

Okay, I was going to say live,

but that's good information.

Yeah.

- How long have you and Susan...
- Had a boat?

Well, I grew up waterskiing,
and then I got Susan into it.

So I'd say it's been
about eight years.

Okay.

Okay, um, actually...

I was going to ask, um, how long
have you and Susan been together?

Oh! Well, let's see, um, we
adopted Taylor four years ago,

so we've been
together ten years now.

Oh, that's wonderful.

- Hi.
- Oh, hi, Mom.

Hey, guys. Cheryl, I
want you to meet my sons

- Gabe and...
- Fred!

No!

- No, no, it's PJ.
- Really?

Yes, really!

- He looks like a Fred.
- That's so funny.

I've always felt
more like a Fred.

Hey, Gabe, will you call
me Fred from now on?

- No.
- Oh.

What are you two
doing with that stuff?

Oh, uh, they're broken,

so we're taking
them to the fix-it shop.

- The one near my apartment.
- Mm.

- Where I still live.
- Yep.

- See ya!
- Yeah.

- PJ takes after...
- His father.

Wow, you got that one right.

Hey, I really appreciate you
helping me fix this place up, man.

Ah, no problem.
Like I always say,

"If you can't do something
behind Mom and Dad's back,

why do it at all?"

You know, there's only
one problem with this place,

I can't get Wi-Fi
from the house.

Oh, try Mrs. Dabney's.
The password is "kaboodle".

Oh, no. She must
have changed it.

Try "Gabe-Duncan-is-evil."

Nope.

Did you use an
exclamation point?

We're in.

- Hey, guys.
- There she is,

our inspiration!

Yeah, um, about that,

can we talk for a second?

Sure, what's on your mind?

Um...

I think Ivy should go
to college by herself.

Without you.

It's a part of growing up.

But if you felt this way,

why did you try to talk
us into going with her?

Mm-hm.

We never would have
come up with that on our own.

Okay, yes, that one's on me.

I have some crazy ideas.

Sometimes I get a
little carried away.

In that sense, you're
a little like your mother.

Look, I know that you're
going to miss her a lot,

but Ivy's ready
to be on her own.

What about us?

We're not ready
to be on our own.

Maybe you don't have to be.

Ivy!

I got you a little
going-away present.

Oh, my goodness! A doggy!

Oh, look at the little guy!

Harry, can you believe it?

Just as our baby is going
away, we get a new baby.

- Ooh, let's call him "Baby"!
- Mm-hm!

Well, I think someone

owes somebody a thank you.

You want me to thank you for
solving a problem that you created?

It was a pretty bad problem.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Hey, where's Baby gonna sleep?

- On Ivy's bed.
- Mm!

Uh, guys, I'm still
gonna be here tonight.

You can sleep on the couch.

Midges are like tiny flies.

And after they hatch, they
swarm in this enormous cloud.

Uh-huh. How did we
get on midges again?

Oh, we were watching the game.

And then, I was telling you about
that playoff game a few years back,

remember that?

- When all the midges swarmed?
- Right, right.

WE WERE WATCHING THE GAME.

Hi there.

Just wanted to check and
see how you guys were doing.

- Doing great.
- How's the game?

Don't know.

We've been so busy talking
about midges and stinkbugs.

Bob, honey, can I see you in
the other room for just a sec?

Excuse me.

I want to trade moms.

- What do you mean?
- I don't like mine.

- She's a sentence finisher.
- Ooh, that can be real...

Really, really
annoying. Yeah, I know.

But I like my mom. She
loves my bug stories.

- She's a great listener...
- She's a great listener?

I want that one!

I am not trading.
I like the mom.

But the dad won't stop
talking, about bugs.

The mom and I were
hitting on all cylinders.

We're even finishing
each other's sentences.

You finish everyone's sentences!

If you won't trade, I'm gonna
play the headache card.

Oh, come on.

That's the lamest
trick in the world.

I don't care. I've had it. I
want to finish a sentence!

Hi, guys.

Amy, Bob, we are so sorry.

We have to go.

I have a pounding headache.

Oh, no, can I get you something?

No, mm-mm, no. I
just need to lie down...

at home.

So we'll just get Taylor and go.

But we will set up
another playdate soon.

Yes!

Well, let me walk you out.

No, no, no need.

- Bye now.
- Feel better.

Yeah, feel better.

How do you like that? She
played the headache card on you.

No, she did not!

- Yes, she did!
- No, no, I was very interesting.

That, that was a real headache.

Right, that was a real headache.

Bob, honey, let's face it,

whether it's a mom and a dad,

or two moms or two dads,

nobody likes your bug stories.

What?

- What happened?
- Maybe we overloaded the circuit.

I'll go check.

Oh! Think I found the problem.

So, what's going on here?

Before we tell you,
promise you won't tell Mom?

Won't tell Mom what?

Well, I guess we
should just come clean.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Already?

Traditionally we
try a couple lies first.

Emmett and I got kicked
out of our apartment.

- Oh!
- What?

Turns out not paying
the rent is a deal-breaker.

Honey, why didn't you tell us?

We would have let
you move back home.

I was too embarrassed to ask.

You guys are already putting
me through cooking school.

You do enough for me already.

- No, we don't.
- Yeah, that's true.

PJ, you're following your dream.

And if you need help along
the way, we're here for you.

Thanks.

And I promise, once I
graduate cooking school,

I'll get a job and move out.

Son, take as long as
you two-months need.

What's going on up here?

It's a progressive party and
we're starting in the tree house.

Are those my throw pillows?

Yeah, they really
tied the room together.

When was the last time we
were all in the tree house?

Right before it fell down.

Why does that sound familiar?

Is everyone okay?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Wait a minute!

Nobody move!

Where is the Gurgles poster?

Okay, Ivy, have a
great first semester.

And we'll see you
at Christmas, right?

You guys are like
my second family.

And if that dog has
really taken over my room,

you might be my first family.

Get over here.

Now get out of
here before I lose it.

- Okay.
- Bye.

Well, I guess this is it.

Thanks for being my best friend.

And thank you.

Thank you for being mine.

- I love you, T.
- I love you too.

Well, Charlie,

there's a lot of changes
going on around here.

Ivy's gone. The
tree house is gone...

again.

I'll be leaving for Yale soon
and PJ's moving back in.

Yeah, I thought we'd get the number
of kids in the house down to three,

but I guess we're
holding at four!

Dad, I told you once I
graduate cooking school,

I'm gonna get a job
and I'll be out of here.

And thanks for letting
me stay here, Mr. Duncan.

Hey, what... what's
Emmett doing here?

Just because we don't have an apartment
doesn't mean we're not roommates.

Wait!

The Wentzes get a
puppy and I get Emmett?

Better wish Dad some
good luck, Charlie.

No, no, no.

No, no, no!

And I don't want you using that
take and that's why I'm stopping now.

Boy, something's been
going on down here.

- Oh, yes!
- What is my line?

Great news!

I just checked...

I don't care if it's true,
you can't say it out loud!

That's weird.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh.