03x02 - The President Kissed Me

[bunniefuu]

Monica, they want interns
in the conference room.

I just wrote these letters
to the chief of staff.

- I have to get them to him.
- They said ASAP.

Drop everything.

All right, all right.

As you no doubt heard,
the government is shut down.

All non-essential employees
have been sent home,

which means lucky you

get to work in the West Wing

as of this morning.

And listen, you're gonna be

working right beside the people
who run the world.

- Awesome.
- Please, be professional.

All right, hold up here a moment.

It appears you're scheduled for : .

Does that work for you?

No, 'cause, uh, Leon's gonna
come see me again in the morning

- before he goes back up the Hill.
- Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

All right, come with me.

You'll be on Leon Panetta's desk.

He's the chief of staff.

Oh, I know. I actually
interned for his office.

All you have to do is sit here
and answer the phone.

You'll do fine.

All right...

Uh, Leon Panetta's desk.
How may I help you?

You, i-intern girl.

Uh, drop this at Stephanopoulos.

Didn't mean to catch you off guard.

Mr. President, uh, sorry,

- I was just...
- You don't have to apologize

for doing your job.

I'm Bill.

I know.

Uh, I'm Monica.

I like your sweater, Monica.

Thank you.

Um...

I guess I should head back.

Well, y-you can come in here
for a second if you want.

I'm just kind of hiding out.

So what do you make of these guys?

Shutting down the government like this.

So crazy.

You know, they think because I took

a licking in the midterms,
they can get me

to cut health care for old folks.

Well, they've got me wrong.

So here we are.

- Thank you.
- Of course, between us,

it's kind of nice having fewer
people around here bugging me.

All the interns can't believe
we get to work in the West Wing.

Oh, my first time here,

I'll never forget it.

High school kid on a Boys Nation trip.

I got to shake John Kennedy's hand.

It's a long way from Arkansas.

How about you? Where'd you come from?

Oh, L.A.

Los Angeles, California.

Ah, you're far from home, too.

- Where you living?
- Out here? Uh...

- i-in the Watergate.
- Whoa, high on the hog.

No. My-my mom,

she's actually moving to New York soon,

so we're just staying, um...

living in a condo.

Sorry. I'm so nervous.

I have a huge crush on you.

Well, that's really flattering.

Because you're beautiful.

You light up the room.

This...

... could be a problem.

Mom?

Mom, wake up.

The president kissed me.

What?

Sure he did.

You're funny.

It's really late,
so go to bed, all right?

- Okay.
- Love you, beautiful.

She's done it again.

Refrigerated Snapple
directly on the desk, the part

that is, in theory, a shared
zone where I lay out my JCOC

pamphlet proofs, but I can't
now because it's moist.

In fact, it's beyond moist.

Hello?

Am I boring you?

No.

It's just...

Let me guess, the mysterious boyfriend.

Still no call?

When did you hear from him last?

and a half days.

Not that I'm pathologically counting.

- Monica.
- It's just...

we've never gone this long
without talking, and...

I need to get it together.

My best friend Cat is in town tonight.

Oh, fun.

I don't know. I'm not very good

- at fun anymore.
- Look, whoever he is,

if he's in the administration,
I'm sure his life

is bananas right now. The tail end

of a reelection campaign? Forget it.

Linda, your phone!

Go out with your friend tonight,

and this weekend, I am finally
taking you antiquing.

I won't take no for an answer.

Linda! Can you answer your phone?

I'm gonna k*ll her.

Like, right now.
You're gonna watch a m*rder.

Hey.

Hi.

Uh-oh.

I thought it was over.
Are you two still talking?

Kind of. A couple times a month.

I mostly just sit here.

Just when I think he'll
never reach out to me again,

he calls.

Wait, is that
why we're eating in tonight?

If he calls when I'm gone,
I have no way to call him back.

- Monica.
- You have no idea what it's like.

I get his schedule every morning.

Today the first lady's in Ohio.

He flew to Denver for
an African American initiative

and then to Phoenix
for his rally tomorrow.

So I know he's sitting
in his hotel alone

right now not calling me.

Okay, I'm officially freaked out.

- I know, I know.
- You know I don't judge...

but you have this pattern.

Uh, I was a psych major;
I'm aware of my own pathologies.

You get involved
with an unavailable guy.

He takes way more from you
than he gives you.

And then you end up
in a really bad place.

But... I'm in love with him.

Monica, please tell me
you didn't tell him that.

Oh, my God. What did he say?

He said...

"That means a lot to me".

Don't hate me.

But if I'm seeing someone and
he only calls me twice a month,

I would take that as a sign.

He's the leader
of the free world... he's busy.

Yeah, he's the most unavailable
man in the entire planet.

Somehow you've outdone yourself.

Are you sure you don't want any of this?

I'm dieting. I need to look good.

He's bringing me back to the
White House after reelection.

He is.

How can you be sure of that?

Because when I got kicked out
of the White House, he said,

"I can't believe they're
taking you away from me.

The moment I win reelection,
I'm bringing you back".

That is a direct quote.

- He promised.
- I know.

And I'm not trying to make you upset.

Then please stop
attacking me constantly.

I'm not! I'm sorry, I'm just worried.

You know, I get enough sh*t
about this from everyone else.

Wait, are you telling other people?

No, not really.

Monica.

Just Ashley, my friend
from my internship.

And there's this woman at my office

who knows that I am seeing
someone from the administration,

- but she has no idea that it's him.
- Are you sure?

- Yes. I know.
- It this gets out...

... this could be really bad for you.

Oh, my God, I promise you,
she has no idea.

I'm just mad at him

because I can't talk to him.
And intellectually I get it.

He's campaigning... with the president.

They do have phones in all states.

Well, like you said,

the schedule at the end, it's crazy.

Linda, I'm just fixating on Tuesday.

He at least promised he'd call me

right after the election if they win.

Monica... Oh.

Isn't that exquisite?

I am just wild about Christmas decor.

Oh, and it's Bavarian.

- Hmm?
- I'm still depriving myself.

Oh, boy.

He must be worth it.

It's been so long

since I've thought
to deprive myself for a guy.

Really? Come on, there must be someone.

I'm closed for business.

- Come on. No, you're not.
- Well, it's been seven years.

I wouldn't even remember how.

What ever happened

with you and Bruce?
You never talk about it.

Yes, I also don't talk about Bosnia.

- That bad?
- It's just not all that interesting.

The best thing about my marriage

is that it gave me Ryan and Allison.

You know, it's funny.

The highlight of my day is

when I warm a potato in the microwave,

then eat it alone

in front of the NBC Nightly News.

But when I look at them,

even when they're being adolescent

or unspeakably annoying, I think,

"I'm a lucky woman".

They're gonna be okay in the world.

I'm very maternal, Monica.

That's why I worry about you sometimes.

You sound exactly like my mom.

- You two should really meet.
- Oh, God.

Me and the woman

from Beverly Hills?

Well, I'd have to go shopping first.

And at least let me
start Weight Watchers.

- Please.
- Okay, fine.

But you know she already likes you.

She knows you're the one reason
that the Pentagon

has been even slightly bearable.

I have to say,

I think you have real inner strength

to have gotten through all this.

You can make it till Tuesday.

I know you can.

_

What we see is, the states
where the polls are closed...

the states in white there...

are all Southern states

where the polls have closed, but still,

uh, it's too close to call.

We'll keep you posted
on that as time moves along.

Let's go quickly now to Russ Mitchell

at Newt Gingrich headquarters
down in Georgia. Russ?

Everything okay?

Hi, Dan. I can tell you
that there are about...

Yeah. Everything's good.

... it has nowhere
near the bang or the punch

that we saw in this same
room two years ago.

Just one state now closing
its polls at this hour.

It's the home state
of the incumbent president

of the United States,
the state of Arkansas.

No surprise, Bill Clinton,
our projected winner there.

... down here and he
gave me a big speech

about what Arkansas
Democrats really want

is for Ken Starr to finish his business

and get out of here.

CNN declares a winner

in the Tar Heel State.

Bob Dole has won North Carolina.

North Carolina voted for
George Bush by the narrowest of...

NBC's Maria Shriver is
in Little Rock tonight.

It's beginning to swell.
The VIPs are parading in

even though many people here,

from this state,
had their reputations tarnished.

So it hasn't been
a totally joyous four years.

Tonight Bill Clinton proves
his title, the Comeback Kid.

He is our projected winner as president

of the United States,
reelected for a second term...

A night of triumph.

Tonight we celebrate
the miracle of America.

And tomorrow we greet the dawn

and begin our work anew.

I am more grateful than I can say.

You have given me an opportunity
and a responsibility

that comes to few people.

I will do my best.

And together we will...

we will build that bridge

to the st century.

Thank you.

And God bless America.

Pretty emotional moment for all of them.

And especially for Mrs. Clinton
who has been through a trial

by fire here
in the last couple of years.

Very combative woman,

which can become a liability...

_

Hey, Monica.

So great to see you.

You, too, Mr. President.

Congratulations. You must be so happy.

It was a great night.

... let's go to Gloucester County.

Did you see the interview last night?

I did, and you know, it's been two weeks

since the Republicans lost...

- Hello?
- Hey, I just want to make sure

you're coming.

- Monica?
- I'm here.

You didn't think it was him?

No.

Maybe.

It's been two weeks since the election.

Stop waiting for him to call.

Stop doing this to yourself.

There you are.

Where have you been?
I left you a message.

You didn't call me back.

Why not, I guess.

You're on the way out.

God, you must be so excited.
Have you gotten

your start date back at the White House?

Well, is your boyfriend in D.C. finally?

I've been dying to hear
about all your plans.

What?

Nothing.

What's wrong?

Is he not able to bring you back?

It's not happening.

Oh, Monica.

To wait this long

and he doesn't have the power
to bring you back.

- He does have the power.
- Well, then, what's the problem?

Linda, he's the f*cking president.

We had an affair. It's over.

Tell me everything.

There's nothing to tell.

Oh. You can't say that.

Monica, I have been going nuts.

I knew it.

Oh, my God.

What on earth
have you been going through?

I can't imagine.

How long has this been going on?

When did it start?

First, it was just... public events.

Oh, hey, nice to meet you.

Thank you for everything.

Yeah. Thanks for everything. Thank you.

Thank you.

And when that man
focuses his attention on you,

the world stops.

And it kept happening.

Departure ceremonies, staff events.

I mean, I was, I was an intern.

Those were the only times I'd see him.

- You had a pink pass.
- Exactly.

So... for months, it was just this...

worthless flirtation.

And it was intense, but...

I didn't think anything more
would happen and...

And then, one day, the shutdown.

Suddenly, I was working
in the West Wing.

He says he put that nutty...

And there he was just a few doors away.

... mostly because
his feelings were hurt

that I didn't come
and say hi in the plant?

Yeah, he and Bob had
to take the back route.

Didn't leave that part out.

I mean, that was the exit
that was closest to the cars.

It's : in the morning.
There weren't any cameras.

That's where the cars were, you know?

We thought we were doing them a favor.

Mm-hmm.

Yes, sir. I will inform Mr. Panetta.

Oh, my God.

Monica.

I know. You don't understand

how long it had been
building between us.

And how f*cking hot it was.

I mean, I swear... Linda.

It was beyond anything

I'd ever felt before.

And I couldn't help myself, Linda.

Hi, I'm supposed to bring this

to the president.

Mr. President, the girl's
here with the pizza.

Oh, great.

Come on in.

I can't believe it.

Well, that makes two of us.

It's incredible.

It is.

Though you never know who's

coming through any of these doors.

Do you want to get a Diet Coke?

It was magnetic.

It was unstoppable.

And I-I couldn't breathe around him.

It was...

It was beyond anything I'd...

ever experienced.

Thank you.

You haven't had any dinner yet?

My days are a little... nutty sometimes.

What? Like you have
a stressful job or... ?

I mean, if I can be honest,
you work from home.

I don't know what you really
have to complain about.

Well, it can get a little lonesome

some days.

"Lonesome"?

Try being a single girl in D.C.

Every guy is either
a compulsive name-dropper

- or secretly gay.
- Well, if it's that bleak, uh,

I'm in the office here on the weekends

when there's less staff.

If you want, you can come see me.

What do I do?

Just knock on the front door
of the White House?

Just talk to Betty.

You met out there.

Or you could call me?

Well, what if your mom answers?

I have my own line.

- You...
- What?

You made my day better.

I bet you don't even remember my name.

What kind of name is Lewinsky anyway?

Jewish.

It was...

incredible.

Except for the whole
"him being married" thing.

I tried not to think about that.

We would come up with reasons for me

- to pop into his office.
- Eagle is on his way.

Or secretly plan to run into each other.

- Hey, Monica.
- Hello, Mr. President.

You going to Leg Affairs?

- Yes, sir.
- Come with me.

I'll show you a shortcut.

But it-it wasn't only about...

You know, we'd sit and talk.

He'd give me gifts. I'd give him gifts.

Like, I bought him this Zegna tie.

Sometimes he would wear it to an
event and ask me if I noticed.

It was...

It was the best five months of my life.

And then?

Then April th,

my boss called me into his office,

and told me I was being
moved to the Pentagon.

- Someone knew.
- I guess I'd been spotted around the Oval

one too many times.

You know that place... people talk.

- It's terrible.
- Yeah, and this is the part

- that makes me upset because...
- Monica.

Monica, you don't have to tell me.

No, it's fine, I...

When I moved over here,
he called me a lot, at first.

He invited my family to meet him
at a radio address

when they were in town,
and when I went to Bosnia

with Mr. Bacon, he called the day

I got home to ask how it had gone.

I still felt connected to him.

And then the calls

got less and less frequent.

And now I realized...

Occam's razor, Monica.

He'd lost interest.

And when he ever did call me,
it was probably just

because he wanted to keep me
quiet through the election.

Mm.

My friends think I basically
need to be institutionalized

because I barely go anywhere.

And I have all these dumb gifts
just sitting in my apartment,

waiting for the day he brings
me back to the White House

like he promised and...

now I realize that's never gonna happen.

It's over.

And so I'm flying to Portland.

To see my friend Cat and try and relax.

And...

just try to stop thinking about him

for one single f*cking minute.

Linda, I feel so stupid.

I feel so stupid.

I'm sorry to unload all this.

I can't imagine what you're thinking.

Well...

to be honest...

listening to all this,

this sounds like it is absolutely...

- ... not over.
- What?

Trust me, it's done.

It's not done, Monica.

What you're describing sounds real.

You think you're stuck in exile

because he doesn't
have feelings for you?

You have it backwards.

My ex-friend Kathleen,

they were always flirting.

She had a crush. One day, he kissed her.

She wasn't sent away.

You?

You're sitting here
in the Pentagon right now

because you were

a thr*at, Monica.

We both know there are
ten women in that building

who have had something with him.

They're all still there.

You want to know why?

Because he doesn't care about them.

You're exhausted and upset.

You are not seeing this clearly at all.

I don't know.

I think, sadly, I am.

Can I just say... ?

- What?
- Look, I know this sounds funny,

but anyone who knows me knows

I'm an extremely intuitive person.

And I just, I have this feeling.

You shouldn't leave town.

Not yet.

He's gonna call you.

I know it. I sense it.

And if you miss that,

you'll never forgive yourself.

Hmm?

Hello?

Hey, Monica. It's Bill.

Yeah, I'm sorry, my voice sounds funny.

I-I think I've got laryngitis.

H-Hi. Oh, no, are you okay?

Don't worry about me.

How are you?

I missed your voice.

Uh, I-I bet you've been so busy.

I-I don't want to talk about me.

What have you been up to?

- You'd better get out of here.
- A sensitive mouth,

- and a charming little...
- Precisely why are you here,

- instead of with the rest of the guests?
- Just trying to be helpful.

I see.

Are you sure there's no
other attraction?

- Hello?
- You were so right.

I-I was packed, I had my ticket,

I was about to go get into a cab.

Last minute, I decided to stay,
and he called.

He's sick, and he sounded so tired,

but he wanted to hear my voice. Linda!

I-I can't believe it. How did you know?

I have a gift, Monica.

It's just no one sees it.

They are gonna get you
the best deal that you can get.

And I'm a little concerned about that.

But we're gonna talk about
that when we get in...

Mrs. Jones is in the waiting room.

- With the husband?
- And another woman.

What?

Who?

I can't even describe.

Hi.

Thank you.

Hello. Susan Carpenter-McMillan.

I'm the president and founder

- of the Women's Coalition.
- Wait. Who?

Susan Carpenter-McMillan,
president and founder

of the Women's Coalition.
We're a nonprofit that advocates

for what I like to call...

"conservative feminism".

Okay.

- Wonderful.
- I was at an event

for the Right to Life League
and Susie came up

and said she knew who I was.

I was doing a piece
of commentary in support

of Paula for our ABC affiliate.

And I thought, oh, my gosh, how nice.

And she told me that she thought
I was being treated poorly.

"Poorly" is an understatement.

I'm here to protect Paula's interests.

How nice.

Lovely to meet you.

We actually have
to discuss legal strategy

with Paula and Steve, so if... Serena?

Oh, well, anything
you can say in front of us,

you can say in front of Susie.

Honey, she...

Okay.

Sure.

Well... just to bring you up to speed,

Clinton's team has been arguing

that a sitting president is
immune to lawsuits like Paula's.

f*cking lowlifes.

And now the Supreme Court has agreed

to step in and rule on that question.

We're, uh, already
working on our arguments.

Some great legal minds have volunteered

to step in and help out. I mean, Paula,

for our practice sessions,

we'll have Robert Bork
acting as a justice.

At least for a day, he'll get to be one.

You know what I'm not
hearing in any of this...

is the name Paula.

He just said Paula... five seconds ago.

Well, I just want to help however I can.

And Susie was thinking maybe
I could do some TV appearances

since no one on TV is saying
my side of things.

I would not advise going on TV.

All that matters right now
is the Supreme Court.

Mm, the same Supreme Court
that made it legal

- to m*rder children?
- What? Oh, my gosh.

Yes, unborn children.

You see, I have to disagree
with you about television.

I have never heard of a case

that couldn't benefit
from a little outside pressure.

The justices are political animals just

like everyone else in this town.

I just want people to see my side of it.

Paula, I assure you...

they will.

Please, let's get to work.

I'm thinking Stevens, Breyer,

Ginsburg, Souter...

This isn't gonna win them over.

I'm not worried about the liberals.

They've argued for decades
that a president

should be treated
like an ordinary citizen.

They have to take Paula's side.

I always say you can never go wrong

relying on the diamond-grade
integrity of liberals.

I thought you were taping at MSNBC.

- They fired me.
- Again?

I was fighting
with this simpering peacenik

about landmines in Vietnam, and I said,

"People like you are the reason
we lost the w*r".

Turned out, he was a veteran
with no legs.

Jesus! Ann!

How was I supposed to know?

You tape alone in the studio,

you can't see the rest of the panel.

The upside is now I am completely

available to help you. I want in.

Really?

Really. What are we doing?

Uh, preparing, uh, briefs

to help out Paula's lawyers.

Oh, tough case.

Do the laws apply to our head of state

or is he an infallible sovereign?

Not as though the country was
founded on that exact concept.

They'll argue her suit will distract him

from him presidential duties.

When do we get to the part
where he's deposed and he lies?

Oh, well, after this, if the
court finds in Paula's favor.

I have a law degree.

It was a rhetorical question.

Jerome's a little less accustomed

to your sense of humor.

Oh, man, I can't wait
till that deposition.

"Mr. President, what specifically,

is wrong with your penis?"

"Please go into

- excruciating detail".
- Well, to be clear,

the goal isn't to embarrass him.

I-It's to constrain
a president who has engaged

- in illicit activities.
- I'm bored.

You're boring.

That's the problem with you Republicans.

You're a Republican.

Mm, I'm a conservative.

You're all too nice.

What does that get you?

It... it gets you Dole.

- What's wrong with Dole?
- Um, he lost.

Idiotic American females couldn't wait

to reelect their fat boyfriend.

Be that as it may,

this case is all we have now.

Right.

What would you like me to do?

What you do best.

Stir the pot.

Uh, help us get justice for Paula.

Oh, this isn't about justice.

Then what is it about?

Impeachment, Jerome.

I want you to tell me

your honest-to-goodness opinion, okay?

On May , ,

Paula Jones, a state employee

with the Arkansas Industrial
Development Commission,

was working the registration desk

for the Governor's
Quality Management Conference

at the Excelsior Hotel.

Governor Bill Clinton was
to be the main speaker.

He tried to lean in on me and grab...

Well, he-he...

he tried to put his hand up my leg.

And it... which I...

It all happened so fast.

And Bill Clinton asked me
to perform oral sex,

which I declined.

And I told the governor I'm not

that kind of girl
and I walked right out.

I went to my desk... I told
my coworker the whole story.

And that is what happened.

Isn't that right?

Yes, Paula.

My husband's very outraged.

I'm just... I'm just
glad I wasn't there,

- I can tell you that.
- Me, too.

Gil and Joe said never
show this ever to anyone,

but this is a real video

sold by the Reverend
Jerry Falwell at his churches.

Oh. Okay.

And I was thinking about what you said.

And if we got this out there more...

if it was on TV, you know,

people would see my side.

Um... I don't know, what do you think?

Um, what is this?

- Brie.
- Mmm.

It's French.

Here's what I think.

You're wonderful in it.

So real.

You have a look that says...

"rural Arkansas".

That, I love, but city people
don't always like that.

Even city people who vote Republican.

Mm. Yeah.

They want to believe you.

We just need

to help them along.

Uh, well, what do we do?

Oh, my God.

Thanks, thanks.

I just left the key in the car.

Oh, my gosh.

So pretty.

Is that Paula Jones?

I cannot wait to go here.

Paula-poo!

You look fantastic.

Aw, y'all are so nice.

Oh, my God. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

- Paula.
- No. I'm s...

I'm so sorry, I cannot afford this.

Don't you worry.

Your friends will take care of this.

Susie, no. Oh!

- Really?
- Mm-hmm, really.

- Oh... thank you.
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, my goodness, and
thank you for being so kind.

I've never been in a Nordstrom's before.

We didn't have Nordstrom's
in Lonoke, Arkansas.

We didn't even have a Dillard's.

My mama used to send off for patterns

and make our dresses
right there in the living room.

Below the knee 'cause...

we were the Church
of the Nazarene, so I guess

you'd say it was kind
of strict on the length.

It's all I wore till I was...

sixteen.

Oh, it's funny 'cause

this is how my boss dressed
when I worked for the state.

I always thought she was kind of sad.

Hmm.

Well, you don't look sad.

This feels like dress-up.

It's all dress-up, Paula.

People get confused when I tell them

I'm a conservative feminist.

But the fact is
you don't have to be a lesbian

or an abortionist to believe

that a woman deserves
equal respect to a man

- when she walks in a room.
- That's right.

Mm-hmm, and that's what you deserve.

And I want you to know that.

I just don't know
if I can be all classy like you.

Gosh.

You already are.

Hmm?

Yes, and that's what we're going

to clarify for the world.

How about we buy this for you
and then I take you to lunch?

- Susie.
- Oh, Paula.

Okay.

Yes!

She's not at all what I thought
based on the news.

- Mm-hmm.
- She's so sweet.

Yeah, she is sweet.

Dumb as a rock, though.

- Thanks for seeing me.
- Of course.

- Just a few things for him.
- Oh.

He and I talked, but I didn't
mention I was bringing it by.

- I wanted it to be a surprise.
- Well, the president

loves gifts more than
any adult man I know.

I'll make sure he gets these.

Sorry, but...

I just didn't know
how to raise this with him,

and he probably hasn't even
talked to you about it,

but... there'd been this idea

that I would come back

to work here after the election.

Oh. Yes.

He told me he wanted to bring you back.

He said you were a good kid.

Really?

I'll make sure he sees these.

Oh.

Well...

this place is divine.

Oh, it's fine.

So, you really...

want to see the dress?

Yes, you lunk.

I could never afford this on my salary,

but I fell in love with it,

so my mom bought it for me.

Oh, and I brought those gifts
over to Betty.

He loves frogs,

so I got him this little frog...

as a joke.

I hope he thinks it's funny.

Ooh, the zipper.

Okay.

Okay...

be honest.

Oh, my God.

You look gorgeous.

- Really?
- Oh, there is no question here.

You are going to that inaugural ball.

Okay, but then I have
to watch him hug half of D.C.

and dance with his wife.

It's just Hillary.

I guess.

I just... I don't want
to walk away feeling...

Feeling what?

Okay, so... on August th last year,

he had this big birthday gala
at Radio City.

And I took the train up and
stood in the rope line for...

five and a half hours in heels,
like a crazy person,

just to see him, and he hugged me,

and he said it was good to see me.

But then six days later,
he did call, but he said,

"You know, Monica,
you remind me of The Face

on Mike Hammer".

And at first, I didn't get the reference

because I'm not elderly.

It's a delightful show.

The Face is a reoccurring
character in every episode.

A woman who shows up
every place Mike Hammer goes.

Yes. Thanks, Linda.
I did discover that. I just...

Does he mean he likes
me showing up places?

Or does it mean he's like,
"Oh, great. Her again?"

Well, surely not that.

Okay, but I go from being
ecstatic that he called me

to wondering where we stand again.

He hasn't even asked me
to come visit him,

and he hasn't even mentioned
me getting my job back.

And so this... his inaugural ball...

Can I smoke in here?

Sure.

You know, you have
such an incredible memory.

You remember all of these events

just so precisely.

Yeah, I've always been like that.

Well...

maybe there's a pattern.

Does that thing have Microsoft Excel?

April th, I went
to an AIPAC fundraiser,

and I wore my sage green J.Crew
suit, and I saw him there.

Okay. Next interaction?

May st. He called at : a.m.,

and like an idiot, I picked a fight.

Are you seeing this?

Look, you go where he can see you,

and he calls you within two weeks.

It's a pattern, clear as day.

This spreadsheet is
making me more depressed.

What? Monica, look at the pattern.

No. You know what I want?

I want him to call me
because he's actually thinking

about me on his own.
That is what I want.

Well, of course you do, but think

of how you'll feel
when you get the call.

Delayed gratification, Monica.

- Okay, thanks.
- _

Well, yeah,
if the woman will talk to me.

- All right. Stay close. Bye.
- _

Second source on the blow job?

Or is it a handy this time?

I'm actually establishing
a pattern of harassment

by the most powerful person alive.

Hey, Isikoff, walk with me.

What are you working on?

I still have some unwanted flirtations

I'm following up on, but actually,

I just got this new lead.

There's a White House volunteer saying

he kissed and f*ndled her back in ' .

And it happened inside the West Wing.

- Michael...
- I know we'd need rock-solid sourcing.

I'm working on it.

And what would be our justification

- for going to print?
- Paula Jones.

It goes to his pattern of harassment.

Listen, I defend you to New York

when they say you're on the sex b*at.

But, Michael, when you spend
weeks chasing these women,

and then have nothing
to show for it, I...

This new one... it's really promising.

You need something soon, or I'm
putting you on campaign finance.

Why can't I have the van tomorrow?

Allison, enough.

I'm not taking the bus.
It makes me late.

Mom, you organize tours.

No one's gonna notice if you're late.

God bless you.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the president of the United
States and the first lady.

♪ Unforgettable ♪

♪ That's what you are ♪

♪ Unforgettable ♪

♪ Though near or far ♪

♪ That's why, darling ♪

♪ It's incredible ♪

♪ That someone so unforgettable ♪

Thank you.

♪ Thinks that I am ♪

Wow.

♪ Unforgettable ♪

♪ Too. ♪

Good morning.

- How was it?
- So great.

He whispered to me from the stage

That he liked the dress.

And then, this morning, Betty called me,

and she invited me
to his radio address on Friday.

- So it worked?
- You were right again.

And now, predictably, I'm a basket case.

I haven't been alone

- with him in forever.
- Mm-hmm.

And now, I get to just walk back
into that building and see him.

What?

Nothing. It's just...

It's a radio address.

And there'll be Tom,
d*ck and Harrys there.

I just, I...

I don't want you to expect too much.

No, if he's inviting me,

It's to be with me alone. Don't worry.

Why don't you just come over tonight

and help me decide what to wear?

I am swamped.

This, um, JCOC tour

of the Coast Guard Training Center is...

Okay.

What?

I guess I just thought
you'd be more excited.

I am.

I'm excited.

- It's great.
- Okay.

Paula, most Americans believe
there's political purpose here.

That you're working
with people who very much want

to see Bill Clinton out of office.

That's not it at all.

I'm telling the truth
about what happened,

and if I can get to trial,
the truth will come out.

Don't you think this has
created a huge embarrassment

for the president of the United States?

You know, I didn't do this.

He's the one that did something to me.

He put himself here.

Paula, I see you've had a makeover.

How long have you had the braces?

I don't know

that I have ever been that proud.

Not even when Paco won
Best in Group at Pasadena.

Not even when he won
Best in Show at Silver Bay.

Oh, I don't know, Susie.

Well, I do know.

You were great.

I don't think anybody's
ever looked at me

and said I was great.

Then they weren't really looking.

Okay, time to wrap it up. Let's go!

We don't need you to move in.

Sir, they're ready for you.

Uh, Jackie, can I get some water?

Thanks.

Thanks.

- Hello, Mr. President.
- Hello, everybody.

Sit down, please. Sit down.

Testing.

One, two, three.

Hi, Susie.

Testing. Okay?

We ready?

Good morning.

Today I want to talk
about what we must do

to strengthen our effort
to keep dr*gs away

from our neighborhoods and out
of our children's lives.

First, we must find dr*gs

before they reach our
borders and keep...

Sir?

Yes. Okay.

Okay.

Come.

Look at you.

Boy, have I missed that smile.

You have no idea.

Thanks for all the neat gifts.

Uh, I got you a couple of little things.

Oh, my God. It's gorgeous.

It's a hat pin.

You always look so cute
wearing your hats.

Thank you.

I love it.

And you can open this one later.

No, if you got it for me, I want
to open it in front of you.

My whole life, I've never come across

any book quite as marvelous
as this one. Have you read it?

- Uh, only "Song of Myself".
- Oh.

You should read the whole thing.

It's-it's really special to me.

And you... are really special to me.

Don't ever forget that.

It's been hard.

You know, not... not being here,

not getting to really talk.

You know what I find funny?

You know, people look at me,

and they see this upbeat guy
with this accent,

who is a friend to women,

can't say no to a cheeseburger.

And they think I'm soft.

Gingrich thought so.

Bush thought so.

And so did my stepdaddy, at first.

Let me tell you, two weeks
before this Election Day,

I was in Miami, 'cause damn it

if I weren't gonna get
Florida this time.

And a poll comes out, has me
b*ating Dole by points.

I mean, I've been polling well,
but this was game over.

You know what I felt, Monica,

as I sat there in that hotel
looking at that poll?

I was f*cking furious.

Because it took away any
notion of a fight.

And I love to fight. I love it.

This was the last campaign of my life,

and it was done.

It's weird.

You know, I-I wanted to go
for a walk alone,

but of course, I can never be alone,

so Secret Service drove me
around downtown Miami.

And-and we stopped
in this little bookshop.

And I looked over on a shelf,

and I saw that Whitman.

And I thought of you.

So, don't you dare,
for one minute, believe

the reason you haven't
been asked to come visit is

'cause I didn't want it.

You know, the moment I saw you today,

I wanted to get you in here
alone as fast as I could.

The election is over.

I just don't want
to get addicted to you,

and I don't want you
to get addicted to me.

- Too late.
- No, Monica.

I think about all these guys
who have hurt you,

and I, and I worry...

Don't worry about me.

We have to be really careful.

Are you Linda Tripp?

Maybe.

I'm Michael Isikoff. I cover
Washington for Newsweek.

I know who you are.

I used to work in the West Wing...

people were afraid of your calls.

Really?

What are you doing here?

Wanted to ask you a few questions.

Let's put our cards on the table.

You're trying to do an
exposé on my program.

What program?

JCOC.

- Joint Civilian Orientation Conference.
- Ah.

No. No, that's not why I'm here.

Do you know a woman
named Kathleen Willey?

I spoke to her recently.
She told me about the incident.

With the president?

You'll need to be more specific.

I-I worked at the White House
for many years

at a very high level.

Okay. Kathleen told me she was subjected

to an unwanted sexual advance
from the president.

She said she told you about it,
and you can back up her story.

That's what she said?

That I would back up her story?

Is that not accurate?

I can't imagine why anyone
would care about Kathleen.

Because she might become part
of the Paula Jones case.

Her lawyers will argue that
he has a pattern of behavior.

This isn't a story.

Can you at least tell me,
did something happen?

I told you. I have to talk to Kathleen.

Will you call me after you do?

Here's my card.
You can reach me at the...

I know how to reach you.

Okay.

All right.

There's a bigger story.

Much bigger than this.

You're barking up the wrong tree.