♪ Come and listen to my
story about a man named Jed ♪
♪ A poor mountaineer,
barely kept his family fed ♪
♪ And then one day, he
was sh**ting at some food ♪
♪ And up through the ground
come a-bubbling crude ♪
♪ Oil, that is ♪
♪ Black gold ♪
♪ Texas tea ♪
♪ Well, the first thing you
know, old Jed's a millionaire ♪
♪ The kinfolk said, "Jed,
move away from there" ♪
♪ Said, "Californy is the
place you ought to be" ♪
♪ So they loaded up the truck
and they moved to Beverly ♪
♪ Hills, that is ♪
♪ Swimming pools, movie stars. ♪
Granny still ain't budged, huh?
No, sir, Pa, she
just sits there rocki"
and a-singi" about home.
I thought puttin' up the cabin
would get her over
them homesick blues.
Made 'em worse.
Just look at her.
♪ ♪
♪ I'm lonesome and blue ♪
♪ And miserable, too ♪
♪ Just wonderin'... ♪
She looks sadder than a
hog in a dried-up mud hole.
But maybe help's on the way.
Whatcha mean?
Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs
is supposed to
be comin' to town.
Well, let's tell Granny!
Why, that'll cheer her right up!
No, wait, I gotta
hear from 'em first.
It ain't just for
certain they's comin'.
I sure hope they do.
Why, she's even got my
critters all gloomed up.
♪ Where folks kin hide stills ♪
♪ I wanna go home... ♪
♪ I wanna go home... ♪
(howling)
(high-pitch howling)
Yeah, they's takin' it prett'
near as hard as Jethro.
Where's he?
He's in the kitchen tryin'
to whomp up some vittles.
Two days without
Granny's cookin' has got
that poor boy
climbin' the walls.
♪ No more to roam ♪
♪ Where friends is so dear ♪
♪ And the air is so clear ♪
♪ Don't want to stay here ♪
♪ I wanna go home. ♪
(blowing nose)
She's gonna have all
my critters a-bawlin'.
Dogged if I ain't about ready
to cut loose and blubber myself.
I sure hope Lester
and Earl get to town!
(guitar and banjo playing)
♪ ♪
It sounds great, fellas.
You want me to put that call
through to the Clampetts now?
Yeah, we're about
through rehearsing.
Okay.
You know, Lester,
if we hurry, we might
get up there in time
for some of Granny's
biscuit and redeye gravy.
Yeah.
Come to think of it, Earl,
I've had enough rehearsal.
Me, too, Lester, me, too.
(phone rings)
Hello?
Hello, is this the
Clampett residence?
Yes, it is.
I'm calling for Lester
Flatt and Earl Scruggs.
Oh, I'm sorry, they ain't here.
Ow!
(phone rings)
Hello?
This is the stage
manager at the Oak Room.
Yes, sir?
Lester Flatt and Earl
Scruggs are here.
Oh, I'm glad to know that.
There was a fella
looking for 'em.
Thank you.
(phone rings)
Hello.
Are you the only one there?
Yes, sir, and I'm
tryin' to cook biscuits
and redeye gravy,
so if don't mind...
Don't... don't hang up!
Hey, are you the fella
that's for Lester Flatt
and Earl Scruggs?
Yeah, yeah, that's me!
Well, you can find
'em at the Oak Room.
Hello? Hello?
(sighs)
I'm sorry, fellas.
I keep calling the Clampetts
and some goof keeps answering.
Jethro! Jethro!
He must be the cook.
Jethro? Jethro?
Well, he said he was cooking
biscuits and redeye gravy.
Come to think of it, Earl,
I could use some more rehearsal.
Me, too, Lester, me, too.
(sniffing)
Mmm. Mmm!
(sighs)
Hey!
(whistling)
(blowing)
(sniffing)
(metallic clanging)
(metallic clanging)
Hold on, boy!
What are you fixi" to sh**t at?
That dab blasted biscuit!
Take it easy, Jethro.
Uncle Jed, if I don't get me
some home-cooked vittles
I'm gonna drop
down dead right here
in front of your eyes!
(phone rings)
Jed Clampett speakin'.
Oh, howdy, Miss Jane.
Ask her can she cook!
I heard that.
Tell Jethro I can cook and
I'll be right over and prove it.
Well, yeah, maybe
it would be best
if you just come
on over. Hot dawg!
Hey, Miss Jane, this is Jethro!
Please, hurry quick!
I need ya desperate!
Bye.
He needs me.
At last the dear boy realizes
we were meant for one another!
(tires screeching)
I'm here, Jethro!
Oh, Miss Jane,
I never been so glad to
see anybody my whole life!
Jethro, you impetuous Romeo!
Put me down!
This is all so
sudden! No, it ain't!
I couldn't sleep last
night for thinkin' about it!
Are you serious? I sure am!
I ain't hardly ate in two days!
I feel like Guinevere.
Do you feel like Lancelot?
I don't know what that is.
Lancelot and Guinevere.
They're like Tristan and Isolde.
Heloise and Abelard.
Well, I'm sure
they're real good.
But let's start with
biscuits and redeye gravy!
Oh, uh, Elly May,
you best get all your
critters out of harm's way.
We're gonna light a
powder keg under Granny.
Yes, sir, Pa. Mr. Clampett,
if this is going to upset
Granny so drastically,
I'll let Elly May show me how to
make biscuits and redeye gravy.
Oh, no, no!
You see, I was kind of countin'
on this to help snap Granny
out of her blue miseries.
We have a double goal.
For me the way to
my intended's heart
shall be revealed through
my acquisition of the means
to gratify his
gustatory desires.
Uh-huh.
Well, uh, like I was sayin', uh,
you best take cover if Granny
commences throwin' things.
ELLY MAY: Pa!
I got everybody except ol' Duke.
He was just too tired to
move. Thank you, Elly.
Well, Miss Jane,
I reckon this is it.
I am ready.
Good luck.
(Jed clears throat)
Uh, Granny,
Miss Jane has taken
over your kitchen.
Yes, I want your recipe
for biscuit and redeye gravy.
Look out!
♪ ♪
♪ I'm lonesome and blue ♪
♪ And miserable, too... ♪
(howling)
Well, that is the first time
I've ever knowed Granny
to give away a cookin' secret.
I'm-I'm afraid
it's still a secret.
Listen to this
recipe for biscuits.
"Into one whole heap of flour,
"stir two middli"
amounts of buttermilk,
add a smidgen of..."
I don't understand.
Well, them's mountain
measurements.
A smidgen' is just
a teensy little bit...
Just like that.
Three smidgens makes one pinch.
Four pinches
equals one little bit.
Four little bits equals
one middlin' amount.
Three middlin' amounts
equals one right smart,
and it takes five right
smarts to make a whole heap.
Oh.
Hey, Uncle Jed,
guess who's here!
I'll give ya three guesses.
Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs?
Well, how'd you get it so quick?
Oh, I kinda got the hint
from them two fellas
standin' behind ya.
How are ya, boys?
Ah, good to see ya, Jed.
Just dandy. How are you?
Oh, I'm twixt grass and hay.
Uh, oh, boys, you
met Miss Hathaway?
Oh, sure have.
Good to see you again, ma'am.
Howdy, Miss Hathaway.
How do you do?
Miss Jane, if you ain't
ever heard Lester and Earl,
you got a real treat comin'.
Mr. Clampett, I am a
dedicated aficionado
of these plectrum Paganinis.
Their amazing
recorded repertoire,
which I am fortunate
enough to possess,
is a veritable
musical encyclopedia
of our ethnic heritage,
and I never cease to marvel
at the coruscating
polyphonic textures
produced by their
artistry and virtuosity.
Uh-huh.
Well, uh, like I say,
if you ain't never heard 'em
you got a real treat comin'.
Yes, yes.
Well, if you gentlemen
will excuse me,
I must get to my biscuit making.
Hey, let me watch!
Mine come out a little crisp.
Say, Jed, what
happened to Granny?
Hope she ain't sick.
Just homesick, Earl.
But your music is just
the medicine she needs.
Lead us to her then.
We'll do our
plectrum pickin' best.
Follow me.
Granny, my critters and
me got together a band
to play you some cheerful music.
I don't want to hear
no cheerful music
played by no critters.
Aw, come on now, Granny.
Look how anxious they is.
(barking)
See? They're all ready
to commence playin'.
♪ ♪
I didn't mean to
commence playin' now.
(honking)
They can do better than that
if I get 'em started together.
Granny!
But you didn't
hear cousin Bessie
play the banjo yet.
Well, she's the best one.
I ain't listenin' to no
ape play no banjo!
Ready, boys?
Let me get my fingers
warmed up just a little.
♪ ♪
(banjo playing)
(music stops)
When you learn to play a
whole number, come back!
♪ ♪
(music continues)
Critter musicians.
(strums a chord)
(music continues)
Hairy, little show-off.
(strums a chord)
♪ ♪
(song ends)
(Granny strums a chord)
Granny, wouldn't you like to see
who was making that music?
GRANNY: I seen them.
Especially that little
goomer with the banjo.
Granny!
Now, wait, boys.
Granny didn't mean
that. She ain't herself.
Why don't you try, uh,
"Little Girl in Tennessee"?
That's one of her favorites.
Are you game, Dr. Flatt?
Lead off, Dr. Scruggs.
("Little Girl in
Tennessee" begins)
♪ Oh, little girl of
mine in Tennessee ♪
♪ I know she's
waitin' there for me... ♪
Now don't tell me that...
Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs!
Hello, Granny. Howdy, Granny.
Well, come in, come in,
but don't quit
playing and singing!
(squeals happily)
(resumes "Little
Girl in Tennessee")
Lead off.
♪ Oh, a long, long time ago ♪
♪ When I left my home to roam ♪
♪ Down in the
hills of Tennessee ♪
♪ There's the
sweetest little girl ♪
♪ That was ever in this world ♪
♪ Down in the
hills of Tennessee ♪
BOTH: ♪ Oh, the little
girl of mine in Tennessee ♪
♪ I know she's
waitin' there for me ♪
♪ Someday I'll settle down
in that little country town ♪
♪ With that little girl
of mine in Tennessee ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Oh, she begged me not to go ♪
♪ "You'll be sorry,
dear, I know" ♪
♪ For the way that
you are treatin' me ♪
♪ So I rambled all around
but nothin' could be found ♪
♪ To take the place
of her in Tennessee ♪
♪ Oh, a little girl of
mine in Tennessee ♪
♪ I know she's
waitin' there for me ♪
♪ Someday I'll settle down
in that little country town ♪
♪ With that little girl of
mine in Tennessee. ♪
Please, Miss Jane,
hurry with my biscuit
and redeye gravy.
Patience, dear boy.
It's difficult enough to
follow Granny's recipes
without heckling.
(humming)
Miss Jane, I never seen nothing
so pretty in all my life.
Smells so good, too.
Now, Jethro, you
must learn to control
your emotions when
I'm busy at the stove.
Soon I shall be cooking
for you all the time.
You will?! Of course.
Three meals a day.
I ain't cutting down
to three meals a day.
No, ma'am, uh-uh, not me, no!
Oh, well, "the way to a
man's heart..." (bell rings)
Oh, the biscuits are ready.
I'll get them. I'll
get them! Jethro.
This is woman's work.
Now you sit down, I
shall serve the food
and we'll discuss
our future. Our what?
Oh, there are plans
to be made, dear boy.
For example, when should
we have the nuptials?
Let's have them
with the biscuits
and redeye gravy.
♪ She'll be comin' round the
mountain when she comes ♪
♪ She'll be comin' round the
mountain when she comes ♪
♪ She'll be comin'
round the mountain ♪
♪ She'll be comin'
round the mountain ♪
♪ She'll be comin' round the
mountain when she comes ♪
♪ ♪
♪ We'll be havin' redeye gravy
when she comes ♪ ♪ Glory, glory ♪
♪ We'll be havin' redeye gravy
when she comes ♪ ♪ Yes, ma'am ♪
♪ We'll be havin' redeye gravy ♪
♪ We'll be havin' redeye gravy ♪
♪ We'll be havin' redeye gravy ♪
♪ When she ♪
♪ Comes... ♪
By doggies, if you
three don't go together
like pone, side
meat, and sorghum.
Granny, how's it feel to be
playing with Lester
Flatt and Earl Scruggs?
Oh, they ain't bad.
I've played with worse.
(laughs)
Jed, could we step
outside for a minute?
Why, sure, Lester.
We'll be right back.
Elly, honey.
Run up to the house
and fetch us a jug.
A body's throat gets a
little dry singing harmony.
(chuckles)
Right, Earl?
Right, Granny.
Say, Granny, could I have
a look at that Autoharp?
Why, sure.
But don't get your hopes up.
It just ain't anybody
who can play that like me.
Oh, I know that.
(strums notes)
Hairy, little show-off.
You know something?
This looks like the Autoharp
the Carter family used to have.
That's where it come from!
The Carter family give
it to the Pickard family.
The Pickard family
give it the Cousin Pearl.
Cousin Pearl give it to Jethro.
And Jethro give it to me.
Can Jethro play it?
Tried for five years.
Never could learn how.
Five years?
First four and a half,
he thought he was
supposed to blow into it.
(laughter)
Well, what do you think, Jed?
I got to admit, I never
seen Granny happier
than when she was
singing and playing
with you and Earl.
Well, that'd be
a real favor to us.
I think the folks would enjoy
seeing her setting up there
on the stage in
her rocking chair,
playing her
Autoharp and singing.
And we could give her a solo
with the spotlight on her.
Lester, I reckon that'd be
just about the
high spot of her life.
Well, let's ask her, then.
We got one problem
name of Jethro.
Now, if Granny goes off
traveling with you and Earl,
that boy's gonna hungry
up and skinny to death.
Well, ain't Miss Hathaway
a-cooking for him?
Forgot about that.
Hey, things might
work out just fine.
(sobbing): Oh, I'm a
failure. I'm a failure!
My biscuits are terrible!
Please don't cry, Miss Jane.
Yore biscuits are
better than mine.
Leastways, they softer.
(sobbing)
(sniffing)
And your gravy
smells just scrumptious.
The gravy is good?
Well, I bet you it would be
if I could get it
out of the bowl.
Well, it sure did set up fast.
(sobbing)
Jethro, you got to drive
me to town right away.
Well, yes, ma'am, but first
you got to fix me some
biscuits and redeye gravy.
I ain't got time for that.
I'm going on the stage.
To where?
I'm going on the
show business stage
with Lester and Earl.
I'm going to play the Autoharp
and I'm going to sing.
And I got a lot of
things to do before that.
I finally learned
how to play this thing.
You know? Watch.
(breathy, flat note)
Give me that!
Now go fetch the truck.
Oh, I'm too weak to drive.
Blowing one note on that
thing's made me dizzy.
I'll drive you, Granny.
That's one talent I do have.
Fine. Come on.
Where's Granny going?
She's going into town.
Now I ain't got
nobody to make me
biscuit and redeye gravy.
Now calm down, boy.
Jethro, you happen to be looking
at one of the
finest biscuit bakers
in the state of Tennessee.
You? No, Earl here.
What's the matter with these?
They do fight
eating, don't they?
Now, don't you
worry about a thing.
Earl's specialty is biscuits
and mine is redeye gravy.
Yee-haw!
Them's the best
biscuits I ever ate
in my whole life.
How many did he put away, boys?
Oh, it's about a
dozen, wasn't it, Earl?
Only 11.
But they was extra big pans.
I sure do thank you.
Oh, it was our pleasure, Jed,
but I thought you said
Jethro was a light eater.
He is. He commences
eating the minute it gets light.
(laughing)
Gentlemen.
Oh, Miss Hathaway, did
you bring Granny back?
No, I left her at
the beauty shop.
Beauty shop?
She said she'd meet
you later at the club.
Boys, you've worked
a regular miracle.
Granny wouldn't go near
a beauty shop before this.
We better be
moving along, Lester.
Yeah, you're all
invited to the show.
We'll save you a
table right down front.
We'll be there. Indeed we will.
(guitar and banjo playing)
♪ ♪
(song ends)
(indistinct whispering)
Oh, thank you, Fred.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we've been a little bit worried
about our special
surprise guest,
but Fred tells me
that she's here,
and she's ready.
Earl, tell the folks
a little bit about her.
Well, folks, she's a
little granny woman
from way back
yonder in the hills.
And she plays an Autoharp
pretty near as old as she is.
And she's going to
do authentic folk songs
just like they've been
done for hundreds of years.
Now, here she is,
her first time in
front of an audience,
Little Granny!
(whistling)
(chord reverberates)
♪ Lonesome and
blue, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Miserable, too, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ One thing to do, oh, yeah ♪
♪ I wanna go home ♪
♪ Home to the
hills, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Rocks and the
rills, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Folks can hide
stills, oh, yeah ♪
♪ I wanna go home ♪
♪ Wanna go home... ♪
♪ Wanna go home ♪
♪ Wanna go home...
no more to roam ♪
♪ Where friends is
dear, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Air is clear, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Can't stay here, no, no ♪
♪ I wanna go home ♪
♪ Wanna go home ♪
♪ Wanna go home... ♪
(song ends)
(theme song playing)
♪ Well, now it's time
to say good-bye ♪
♪ To Jed and all his kin ♪
♪ And they would
like to thank you folks ♪
♪ Fer kindly droppin' in ♪
♪ You're all invited back
next week to this locality ♪
♪ To have a heapin'
helpin' of their hospitality ♪
♪ Hillbilly, that is ♪
♪ Set a spell ♪
♪ Take your shoes off ♪
♪ Y'all come back now, y'hear? ♪