♪ Come and listen to my
story about a man named Jed ♪
♪ A poor mountaineer,
barely kept his family fed ♪
♪ And then one day, he
was sh**ting at some food ♪
♪ And up through the ground
come a-bubbling crude ♪
♪ Oil, that is ♪
♪ Black gold ♪
♪ Texas tea ♪
♪ Well, the first thing you
know, old Jed's a millionaire ♪
♪ The kinfolk said, "Jed,
move away from there" ♪
♪ Said, "Californy is the
place you ought to be" ♪
♪ So they loaded up the truck
and they moved to Beverly ♪
♪ Hills, that is ♪
♪ Swimming pools, movie stars. ♪
♪♪
You know, Elly, I'm
glad company is coming.
We don't get much chance
to use this fancy eating room.
No.
Jethro and Pa use it mostly
to play what you call pool.
I don't see much
sport in it, myself.
Well, what can you
expect from a game
that you play on the
dining room table?
Yeah.
You reckon I ought
to set eight places?
Is it for sure Miss Flatt and
Miss Scruggs is a-comin'?
Well, we know that
Lester's bringing his wife,
but we don't know
for sure about Earl.
But you'd better set a
place for Louise, just in case.
Yes, ma'am.
Whereabouts you
want Jethro's plate?
Put him up at the
end yonder there.
When he goes to eating,
I don't want the company in
bruising range of his elbows.
How's it going, girls?
Jed!
Why ain't you on
your way to the airport?
You're gonna be late
picking up Lester and Earl.
Well, according to Jethro,
we got plenty of time.
He says he's got a
new way to get there.
I wouldn't trust no shortcut
if that eating
machine picked it out.
This ain't no shortcut.
He says he got something
new he put on the truck.
What is it, Pa?
I don't know yet, Elly.
I think he wants to
surprise me with it,
but he says it's gonna
be a real time-saver.
(horn honking)
This here's the surprise
I've been working on.
Looks kind of like a windmill.
I call it my traffic jam jumper.
Hop in, I'll show
you how it works.
Well, now, boy, we
don't want to be late
meeting Lester and Earl's plane.
That's where this rascal's
gonna come in handy.
(engine starts)
Suppose we's driving
down the freeway,
and there's a big
traffic jam up ahead.
We don't sit there
and fret and fume.
What do we do?
- (engine clunking)
- Throw this out of gear,
throw this into gear,
give this a yank,
here we go.
Jethro, we're
leaving the ground!
That's the whole idea!
We just fly right on
over that traffic jam.
We's up in the air all right,
but how do we move ahead?
Guess I forgot
to figure that out.
You figure out how we get down?
Oh, yeah, that's easy.
Just shut off the engine.
(loud crash)
What do you suppose that was?
We best go see.
Well, other than that,
what do you think of it?
I'll tell you later.
Right now, I got to get
somebody out to that airport.
Say, Jethro wasn't fooling.
He got you there
and back in a hurry.
He really come up
with a time-saver.
He come down with it, too.
Where's Lester and Earl?
They ain't here yet.
Oh, howdy, Miss Jane.
Say, we got a emergency up here.
Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs
is due in at the airport
and nobody to meet 'em.
Would you do me a big favor?
Oh, Ralph, I haven't been
able to find Mr. Drysdale.
Will you tell him
I have to rush out
and do something
for the Clampetts,
and I'll explain
when I get back.
I hope it isn't too breezy
back there, Mrs. Flatt.
(chuckles): Oh, no.
I was all prepared to ride
in the Clampetts' truck.
This is a pleasant surprise.
Yeah, mighty nice of
you, too, Miss Hathaway.
Yes, ma'am, we
sure do appreciate it.
My pleasure.
I'm a great fan of your music.
Unfortunately, I don't
get to hear you very often.
I'll tell you what.
We'll be doing a
couple of numbers
soon as we get to Jed's place.
Yeah, Granny always
makes us sing for supper.
You're sure invited
for listening and,
like as not, eating, too.
Oh, I wish I could accept,
but I'm afraid I have to
dash right back to the office.
Aw. Well, why don't you boys
do a number for her right now?
How about it, Lester?
Oh, that would be an imposition.
I couldn't ask you to
perform in an open car.
(chuckles) We've
played worse places.
And for smaller audiences.
(laughter)
Margaret, I've asked you
not to call me on
this car telephone.
It's for business.
I... All right, dear.
What have the
Clampetts done now?
You saw them where?
What?
In their what?
Margaret, trucks do not fly.
Yes.
All right, dear, go back
to your bridge club.
I'll do something about it.
I'll get her a new psychiatrist.
Talk about obsessions,
now she thinks
those hillbillies
hover in the air.
Hello, hello, hello.
Get me Crestview 67399.
(country music playing)
♪ Now, you hand me
that same old line ♪
♪ You just won't let me be ♪
♪ I hear that same
old song and dance ♪
♪ That you are leaving me ♪
♪ Now, don't give me
that song and dance ♪
♪ I don't care at all ♪
♪ I'm 'a going back
to Birmingham ♪
♪ Gonna have myself a ball ♪
♪ Gonna have myself a ball ♪
♪ Gonna have myself a ball. ♪
- (music ends)
- (Mrs. Flatt chuckles)
Oh, that was wonderful.
Do another song.
How about you girls joining in?
Well, I'm game if you are.
Lester doesn't think
I'm much of a singer.
Now, Gladys, I never said that.
Well, why don't you let me
go out on the road with
you and perform, then?
Well, darling, that's
because you don't sing
our kind of songs.
If you'd let me
sing my kind of...
Uh, here we go, everybody
in the same key now.
"Little Brown Jug."
(music starts)
♪ Ah-ha-ha, you and me ♪
♪ Little brown jug,
how I love thee ♪
♪ Ah-ha-ha, you and me ♪
♪ Little brown jug,
how I love thee... ♪
What do you mean Miss
Hathaway isn't there?
I left her in charge.
Well, ring her office again.
Well, ring the
secretarial pool, ring...
Isn't that Miss Hathaway
coming towards us?
I believe it is, sir.
Well, there's a couple
of fellas in the car.
- And another girl.
- ♪ Ah-ha-ha ♪
- ♪ You and me... ♪
- They're singing.
She's out on a date
while my bank goes to pot!
What?
You bet I've got
a message for her.
She's fired!
♪ Ah-ha-ha, you and me ♪
♪ Little brown jug,
how I love thee ♪
♪ Ah-ha-ha, you and me ♪
♪ Little brown jug,
how I love thee. ♪
I'm sorry Louise
couldn't come along.
Oh, so is she, Granny,
but one of us had to
stay and look after things,
and she volunteered.
Well, it was nice of her
to let you have
the cooking lesson.
Another cooking lesson?
Didn't she show you my letter?
I told her that this time
I was gonna learn
you city girls everything,
from pickling pig's knuckles
to making hogshead cheese.
And we's gonna start
with butchering the hog.
Oh, boy.
Sure she didn't say nothing?
(sighs) Not a word.
Well, when you get back home,
you can give Louise a
mess of your own knuckles.
(chuckles) Sounds
like a great idea.
Sure we can't talk
you into staying?
Sorry, duty calls.
I'm needed at the bank.
Thanks again for the ride.
Yeah, and if you ever get
tired of the banking business,
come on down to Nashville.
We'll put you to work singing.
Oh, I'll remember that.
Bye.
- Bye.
- Bye-bye.
Come on in, boys.
Get washed up and to the table.
You can play for
your possum later.
Granny, did you say possum?
Stuffed with dilled okra
and minced mud-sucker.
FLATT and SCRUGGS: Oh, boy.
Too bad I didn't
know to tell Miss Jane.
Ain't no job in the world
could've pulled her
away from a treat like that.
Oh, thank you for watching
my desk, Miss Murray.
Any messages?
Just this one.
You may return to
the secretarial pool.
I'll call... This says
I'm discharged.
Yes.
Everybody's sorry to see you go.
We started taking up a
little collection for you.
Oh.
But surely this
is some sort of...
Oh, uh...
If this is somebody's
idea of a joke, I don't...
Oh, Miss Murray, will you...
Well, if it isn't the playgirl
of the Commerce Bank.
Chief, what is the
meaning of this?
Well, let me see if I
can translate it for you.
Discharged.
That means fired,
canned, sacked.
But why?
I need employees who are
trustworthy and obedient.
- Wait in my office.
- Yes, sir.
I don't need employees
who skip out the
minute my back is turned.
Chief, if you're referring
to my absence from
the bank, I can...
I'm referring to you joyriding
along Whittier Boulevard
with that flashy blonde
and those two
Texas beer salesmen.
What?!
♪ Ah-ha-ha, you and me ♪
♪ Little brown jug... ♪
Oh, what a double life you lead.
Trim, prim Miss
Hathaway in the office,
and the minute my back is
turned, it's Happy New Year!
Well, Mr. Drysdale,
if I am to be turned
out without a hearing...
Without a hearing?
Everybody along
Whittier Boulevard
gave you a hearing,
you and those off-key
butter and egg men.
Before I leave, I
think you should know
that my passengers were
Mr. and Mrs. Lester Flatt
and Mr. Earl Scruggs,
dear friends of
Mr. J.D. Clampett,
at whose request I picked
them up at the airport.
- Good-bye.
- Miss Hathaway.
Wait, wait. (chuckles)
Come back to your desk.
I just made a little joke.
I do not consider it a
joke to be humiliated
in the eyes of my
fellow employees.
Why, they even took
up a contribution for me.
Oh, really?
Well, let's see.
53 cents.
I tell you what.
If you stay, I'll make
it an even buck.
Your generosity is overwhelming.
But if this is my reward
for ten years of
faithful service,
no thank you!
No, wait.
That's only the beginning.
From now on, you don't
have to work Sundays.
And you can take a full 20
minutes for lunch every day.
And no more working late.
I promise, you'll be out of
here by 9:00 every night!
She'll be back.
Where is she gonna
find another sweetheart
of a boss like me?
Anything special you
want to hear, Granny?
No.
Anything you boys do is good.
It'll have to go some to
be as good as that possum.
That's right. How about
"Earl's Breakdown"?
Fine and dandy.
Well, just a minute, boys.
Jethro? Jethro!
Yeah, Uncle Jed?
Is there more possum?
No, boy, Lester and
Earl's got a treat for us now.
Well, whatever it is, I'll
take a double helping.
You're through
eating for a spell.
Come over here and sit down.
Okay, boys, let her roll.
(upbeat bluegrass music playing)
♪♪
(music ends)
Wonderful.
Say, do another one.
Thank you, Elly May,
but my wife, Gladys,
is real fond of singing.
I'm gonna ask her
to do a number for us.
- Come on. -Yeah, come on.
- Yeah, come on, Gladys.
Oh, you don't want to hear me.
- Yeah! -Sure we do.
- Do it, Gladys, please.
But I'm not a performer.
I'm not even
prepared or anything.
- Oh, come on.
- Oh, come on now.
Well, all right, I'll try.
What do you think
I should do, boys?
How about that song
you've been rehearsing
for two weeks?
Yeah, that one you bought
that special new dress for?
(chuckles) All right, boys.
But I think the lighting
and the acoustics are
better in the entrance hall.
Oh, and, fellas, on
your accompaniment,
I'd like you both
to be playing guitar,
and when we get to the
rebato, strain on the reprise,
glissando into
the major seventh,
and we'll take it moderato
on the subdominant, okay?
There she goes
with that music
school talk again.
Yeah, I wish I
knew what it meant.
Me, too, Lester, me, too.
We didn't know
Gladys was a singer.
This is gonna be a real treat.
- I'll say.
- Yeah, boy.
Now, don't go
getting your hopes up.
Gladys is a sweet
woman, and she tries hard,
but she ain't never
gonna be no Minnie Pearl.
(guitar plays softly)
♪ You're nobody ♪
♪ Till somebody loves you ♪
♪ You're nobody ♪
♪ Till somebody cares ♪
♪ You may be king ♪
♪ You may possess the world ♪
♪ And its gold ♪
♪ But gold won't
bring you happiness ♪
♪ When you're growing old ♪
♪ The world still is the same ♪
♪ We'll never change it ♪
♪ Just as sure ♪
♪ As the stars shine above ♪
♪ You are nobody ♪
♪ Till somebody loves you ♪
♪ So find yourself ♪
♪ Somebody to love. ♪
(music ends)
Shall I fetch the truck
around now, Granny?
- It's all fixed.
- All right, boy.
Now, you see what I mean, Jed?
She's got a pleasant voice,
but it just ain't
got no power to it.
She wants to go
on the road with us
and sing at fairs and such.
Well, you'd never hear her
over the livestock judgin'.
Chickens cacklin'
and pigs squealin'
would plumb drown her out.
Well, this is the prettiest
dress I ever did see!
Oh, thank you, Elly.
Take my advice, Gladys.
Don't wash it in
hot water no more.
It's pert near
shrunk off you now.
All right, Granny,
I'll be careful.
Well, you'd better change.
This ain't no dress
to wear walking
around the stockyards.
Stockyards?
Jethro's gonna drive us down
to pick out the hog to butcher.
Well, Granny, I thought
maybe once you heard me sing,
that you might want to forget
about the cooking lessons.
Oh, no, honey.
(chuckles)
Just 'cause you ain't a
world-beater at one thing,
don't mean you can't do another.
(horn honking)
Hey, what have you
done to the truck, Jed?
Well, that's Jethro's doing.
He ain't got enough
to keep hisself busy,
so he's took up inventing.
He calls that his
traffic jam jumper.
I got that moving-ahead
problem licked, Uncle Jed.
Now I got rocket power.
Jethro, Gladys has
decided to stay here
and let us go pick out the hog.
Okay, let's go.
What's all this stuff?
Get in. I'll show you.
Let's say we's going
down the freeway,
and all of a sudden,
there's a big traffic
jam up ahead.
(engine starts)
Well, we don't set there
and sweat and fume.
- What do we do?
- Watch.
- (engine clunking)
- I throw this out of gear,
throw this into gear,
give this a yank,
and here we go.
Hang on, Granny!
Ain't that kind of
dangerous, Jed?
Could be, yes.
Granny, don't let
him turn off the key!
Do what?!
Turn off the key!
Okay!
Oh!
(loud crash)
Like I said,
the boy ain't got enough
to keep hisself busy.
Dang thing, the last time
you'll get me in
that car of yours!
Granny, where are those
pone sticks I just baked.
Oh, well, I put 'em
out back to cool.
Oh. How did they taste?
I don't know, honey,
they were too har...
uh, hot.
Come on, Gladys, let's
get to the pig knuckles.
Oh, Granny, do I have to?
I love Lester, and I
want to please him,
but I'm just no good at
making these country dishes.
Well, I could learn
you to cook a city dish,
like beaver casserole.
Beaver casserole?
That's a city dish?
Specialty of the house
in the hotel dining
room in Bug Tussle.
Well, Granny,
actually, I don't want to
take cooking lessons at all.
What I want more than
anything in life is to sing.
You really got your
heart set on it, ain't you?
Yes, I have.
I love it.
All right, take off your apron.
Oh, thank you.
I'll give you a singing lesson.
Well, on second thought,
every wife should know
how to cook something
for her husband.
Yeah, Lester, you
got yourself a problem.
Woman as pretty as Gladys
would likely be a
big drawing card
in fairs and rodeos.
Oh, she's pretty, all right,
and sweet as sorghum, but...
You know, Lester,
I've been thinking.
Maybe if Gladys would
sing right into a microphone,
and we turn the volume
up as high as it'd go...
Oh, it ain't just
her voice, Earl.
She just won't want to
learn no popular song.
She don't?
I've tried my best to get her
to sing "Stomp in the
Clover, Sweet Nellie"
and, uh, "The
Sinking of the Titanic."
And she don't want to?
Ah, she wants to sing
songs like "Stardust,"
"Night and Day," and
"Smoke Gets in Your Eyes."
I never heard of them.
Well, you see
what I'm up against.
I do for a fact.
Well, cheer up, Lester.
Maybe Granny'll teach
her to cook so good,
she'll want to stay
home in the kitchen.
I sure hope so.
Say, Jed, what
kind of wood is this?
I've dulled three blades
just a-trying to whittle it.
Me, too.
It is tough, ain't it?
Yeah, where'd you get these?
I found 'em laying on the bench.
Hi.
Darling, how's the cooking
lessons coming along?
Just fine, Lester.
I already baked
some cornpone sticks.
Well, ain't that dandy?
They're my favorites.
- Mmm.
- How about a taste?
All right.
Granny put them
out here to cool.
Oh, howdy, Miss Jane.
Say, Mr. Drysdale's been
a-callin' you from the bank.
Let him call.
Well, ain't you
working there no more?
I am happy to announce
that I have terminated
my affiliation
with that penurious martinet.
Oh, still at the bank, huh?
Elly, thanks to Mr. Flatt
and Mr. Scruggs,
I am about to
become a balladeer,
a troubadour, an interpreter
of the true ethnic idiom.
You got your promotion, huh?
Oh!
That's funny.
I can't find them.
Have you seen anything of them?
- Not me. Have you, Earl?
- Me, neither.
I'll bet you the birds got 'em.
And the squirrels.
Oh, gee.
Ain't safe to leave anything
that good around outside.
Too bad, Gladys.
Don't you worry, Lester.
I'll go right back and
bake some just for you.
Oh, Gladys, are you sure
you wouldn't like to learn
"Stomp in the
Clover, Sweet Nellie"?
No, Lester, that's
not my kind of music.
I like sophisticated songs.
Well, then, uh,
how about "The
Wreck of the Old 97."
Do it for her, fellas.
Jed, we'd rather not do
one of them sad songs.
Would you rather eat
one of them corn sticks?
Greetings, all.
- Hi, Jane. -Hey, Miss Jane.
- Howdy, Miss Jane.
Here you are, gentlemen.
I am ready for my audition.
Your husband has invited
me to journey to Nashville
and join them in interpreting
the folk music of our land.
Oh, well, isn't that
sweet of my husband.
He's never invited
me to do that.
Honey, like I said,
it's because you can't
do our kind of music.
Who says I can't?
Well, then, it's because
you don't want to.
Who says I don't want to?
- Well, then, uh...
- Here we go.
"The Wreck of Old 97."
Let it go, Lester.
(upbeat bluegrass music playing)
♪ Oh, they gave him his orders ♪
♪ In Monroe, Virginia ♪
♪ Steve, you're
way behind time ♪
♪ It's not 38 ♪
♪ But it's old 97 ♪
♪ You must put her
in Spencer on time ♪
Sing one, Miss Jane.
♪ He turned around
and said to his fireman ♪
♪ Shovel in a little more coal ♪
♪ And when we cross
this big white a-mountain ♪
♪ You can watch old 97 roll ♪
(instrumental interlude playing)
Come on, Gladys. Now
show us what you can do.
♪ It's a mighty rough road
from Lynchburg to Danville ♪
♪ It's lying on a
three-mile grade ♪
♪ It was on that grade
that he lost his air brakes ♪
♪ And you see what
a jump he made ♪
(instrumental interlude playing)
How about the chorus, Jed?
(tapping shoes rhythmically)
♪ He was goin' down the
grade makin' 90 miles an hour ♪
♪ When his whistle
began to scream ♪
♪ He was found in the wreck
with his hand on the throttle ♪
♪ It was scalded to
death by the steam. ♪
(music ends)
(theme song playing)
♪ Well, now it's time
to say good-bye ♪
♪ To Jed and all his kin ♪
♪ And they would
like to thank you folks ♪
♪ Fer kindly droppin' in ♪
♪ You're all invited back
next week to this locality ♪
♪ To have a heapin'
helpin' of their hospitality ♪
♪ Hillbilly, that is ♪
♪ Set a spell ♪
♪ Take your shoes off ♪
♪ Y'all come back now, y'hear? ♪