[♪♪♪]
[MUMBLING]
Aunt Becky, look. They
turned into supersweepers.
Well, Michelle, that's
because you're a superteacher.
Thank you.
Time for lesson
2: clean my room.
All right, you guys. Go
upstairs with Michelle.
I'll be up there in a minute.
I love not being the youngest.
[JESSE FREDERICK'S
"EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK" PLAYING]
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Ahhh ♪
♪ Whatever happened
To predictability ♪
♪ The milkman The paperboy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV? ♪
♪ Ahh-ahh ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out
there And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin'
To carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪
[♪♪♪]
Hey, Becky.
Time to baste my boot.
Maybe I'll skip dinner, Danny.
No, calm down.
It's a pastry boot.
Look, here it is.
Oh, look at that.
Isn't that a work of art?
Isn't that pretty?
It... It's just,
you know, diced turkey
and creamed vegetables
in a lovely pastry shell.
I cooked this the very first
time I made a dinner for Vicky.
And they say romance is dead.
Hi, Dad. Hey, sweetheart.
Hi. Hey.
Dad, you know Josh.
DANNY: Oh, yeah. I remember you.
He bats left, throws
right, never spits.
I like that in a
baseball player.
Hey, if you guys
ever want another lift,
you might want to
wash those sweats.
It smelled kind of
funky in the back seat.
Don't blame us. Gibbler
took her shoes off.
I guess it's time to rotate
the old Odor-Eaters.
ALL: Whoa!
Kimmy, please,
think about the ozone.
Hey, Steph, want to go
with me for pizza tonight?
Bunch of the team's
gonna be there.
Dad, is it okay?
Oh, sure. You have fun, honey.
So, Josh, your parents
want to drop off or pick up?
Actually, they can't do either.
Dad, how about you?
Well, you know, I...
I'd love to, but I can't.
Vicky's coming
for dinner. It's...
It's turkey-in-a-boot
night. Heh.
In fact, I gotta go get dressed.
I think I'm gonna put a tie on
that has a lot of green in it to
pick up the color of the peas.
Inside the turkey in the boot.
D.J., do you think
maybe you could, uh,
drive your sister, Steph?
Thank you. Excuse me.
We're going out
for pizza tonight too.
You want to bring them along?
I'd rather drill my own teeth.
Please, Deej, give me a break.
Okay, okay. We'll
give you a ride.
Thanks.
Great. I'll be here
at 7:00. Okay.
See you. Bye.
See you later. D.J.: Bye.
Well, I got to get
home for dinner.
Steve, we're going out to eat.
Well, I know. I got to warm up.
Well, you got yourself a date.
This is not a date.
Josh and I are just
going out for pizza.
Hey, this isn't your
dad you're talking to.
I know an invite for a
date when I hear one.
Not that I've heard one lately.
I do not have a date. Do I?
I don't know, Steph.
Let's look at the facts.
He's a guy. You're a girl.
It's Friday night.
There's eating involved.
Looks like my little
sister has a first date.
My first date? Oh, my gosh.
What do I say?
What do I do?
What do I wear?
I'm starting to sweat.
You're not supposed to
let them see you sweat.
[♪♪♪]
Today, on The
Cartoons Of Our Lives,
Bullwinkle has a
secret rendezvous
with the woman of his dreams.
[IMITATING OLIVE
OYL] Oh, Bullwinkle,
you big moose.
You really know how
to sweet-talk a girl.
[IMITATING BULLWINKLE]
Oh, sorry, Olive.
I didn't see you standing
there behind that broomstick.
Will Bullwinkle and
Olive Oyl find true love,
or will Popeye say...?
[IMITATING POPEYE]
Hey, you furry forest freak,
stay away from me girl before
I make a hatrack out of you.
Find out tomorrow
on the continuing saga
of The Cartoons Of Our...
Lives.
All right.
We'll be right back
right after this spot
from Phil's Fashion Barn.
And, hey, you fabulous
babes out there.
If Phil can't fit you,
lose some weight.
[ORGAN PLAYS]
ELECTRIC VOICE:
Rush Hour Renegades...
coming at you!
Jess, Jess. There's Alison.
How do I look?
Oh, my face is huge.
Oh, that's better. I like that.
Oh, I'm a mess.
Joey, what's the
matter with you?
Every time this
Alison comes around,
you start bumping into things
like Dumbo on Rollerblades.
Jess, I... I'm a nervous
wreck around her.
I'd like to ask her
out, but she's my boss.
She knows how much I make.
Oh, come on, Joey. Go for it.
She's cute, she's smart,
she's funny. Ask her out.
Be a guy.
[IMITATING DUDLEY DO-RIGHT]
You're absolutely right, Jess.
I'll do it.
But very, very carefully.
I'll be back.
All right, up next, 20 in a row,
with a few commercials after
song five, seven, 12 and 19.
Hey, we got to make
a living somehow.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
Whoa!
[LAUGHS]
I'm f... I'm fine.
That's just a... A bit I'm
working on for the show.
Yeah, nothing funnier on the
radio than a good sight gag.
Yeah. [JOEY LAUGHS]
Jess, about that
Fashion Barn Spot...
Pretty cool, huh? I, uh,
winged it a little at the end there.
Yeah, that's what I
want to talk about.
It's a little insensitive
to refer to our female
listeners as "babes"
and then tell them
to lose some weight.
Well, Alison, I was... I
was just joking around.
I mean, you know, I
did call them fabulous.
Jess, can you just leave
your attitude out of it
and read the copy as written?
And, uh, what
attitude would that be?
Well, your attitude
towards women.
I mean, I know how you are.
Come on, the rock
'n' roll, the motorcycle.
Forgot the tattoo.
Shut up, Joey.
I see what's going
on here, Alison.
You think I'm some
kind of male chauvinist,
macho jerk, don't you?
Okay, look, we can
pick this up at dinner.
I'll see you guys tonight.
Okay. Hm.
Bye.
"You guys"? I'm not
going to dinner with you.
Well, I invited her
over for dinner.
To our house? Yeah.
I gotta eat with...? She
thinks I'm a macho jerk.
Oh, come on, Jess.
I really like Alison.
You... You guys will get along.
You're just... You're
just not connecting now.
Well, what am I supposed to do?
Well, tonight at dinner,
show her what a warm,
perfectly caring,
sensitive man you are.
Pfft. Oh, great.
After dinner, I'll nurse
a poor little puppy
back to health
while watching
Beauty and the Beast,
and I'll cry my eyes out.
Perfect.
[♪♪♪]
Deej, I'm saved.
I just bought the new Teen Week.
"Three Easy Steps To Make
Your First Date Unforgettable."
Mine sure was:
Chinese food, a movie,
and my first ride
in a police car.
Okay.
"Step number 1:
Dress to accentuate
your best features."
So you'll be wearing a mask.
Yeah. Could I borrow that one?
Oh, I'm sorry. It's your face.
"Step 2: Compliment your
date on his appearance."
Well, what do you say
if your date has pit stains
and smells like a hamper?
I don't know, Kimmy.
What do your dates say to you?
Let me see that.
"Step number 3:
Concentrate on romance
"because if you don't, he won't.
"Follow these three steps,
and your unforgettable first date
will end with an
unforgettable first kiss."
Do you believe this?
[♪♪♪]
Steve, you just had dinner.
We're going out for pizza.
How can you still be eating?
I don't know.
My mouth keeps moving,
and I gotta fill it
with something.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
That must be Stephanie's date.
Hi, Josh. Hi.
Come on in. STEVE:
How's it going, Josh?
I'll check and see
how Stephanie's doing.
There's fruit if you hurry.
Have a seat, Josh.
Part of dating is waiting.
Dating?
Steph and I are just going
out for pizza with the guys.
Don't you like Steph?
Well, yeah, sure, you know.
She likes to talk about
pitching and baseball.
She doesn't like to talk
about that gushy stuff
like other girls.
Oh, Josh.
Stephanie?
Just a minute.
Ready for an
unforgettable evening?
Heh.
[♪♪♪]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
BOY: There's Josh!
Hey, come on, Steph.
Let's go sit with the guys.
Well, you kids have fun.
We'll meet you
at the car at 8:30.
Steve!
What?
Josh, wouldn't you rather
sit with D.J. and Steve
in that nice, quiet booth?
Why?
Well, uh, the team's
over by the door,
and the draft could
tighten up my pitching arm.
Do you want me
to tell Coach Zwick
it's your fault I can't pitch?
The booth looks fine.
Hi, guys.
What are you guys doing here?
We'd rather sit in the booth.
Vinyl's so much cozier.
So, Josh, I love the way
that T-shirt looks on you.
Really? It's got a big
sloppy joe stain on it.
Oh. Well, it really brings
out the color in your eyes.
So, what do you recommend?
I recommend another table.
Steph, I'm going
to the bathroom.
Do you want to join me?
No, that's okay.
Josh might get lonely.
Hey, if you got to
go, you got to go.
She's definitely got to go.
Stephanie, why are
you sitting at our table?
I thought you were
gonna be sitting
with your little friends.
If we sit with the team,
all Josh is gonna
think about is baseball.
I've got to make him
think about romance.
You saw the article.
If I don't, he won't.
Then sit by yourselves.
I don't know anything
about romance.
I've got to follow your
lead. Please, D.J.?
Steph, why are you making
such a big deal out of this?
Because you only go
on your first date once.
It's got to be perfect.
Okay, but relax.
Don't push so hard.
And by the way, it's me
you're playing footsies with
under the table.
I missed you, Deej.
I missed you too.
I missed you, Josh.
You were only gone
for two seconds.
Wow, your hand's
sweating like a pig.
Oh, Josh, what a
marvelous sense of humor.
Steve, I really like that
new cologne. What is it?
Oh, it's called Wilderness Man.
It comes with a free
bag of beef jerky.
I like your cologne too, Josh.
I don't wear cologne.
You... You're probably
smelling my Denorex.
Oh. Well, it smells
very manly...
Even from up here.
[♪♪♪]
I sure hope Jesse and
Alison get along tonight.
She seems nice.
Oh, she's terrific.
And now that I've asked her
out, I can finally relax around her.
Is that why you're
grating your watchband?
Let's get this here.
Okay.
Boy, everything smells so good.
Thanks, Vicky.
I just checked on
Nicky and Alex.
They're sleeping like
babies, which is what they are.
I guess it's the
nurturing side of me.
Or the side that didn't
want to set the table.
[CHUCKLES]
She's kidding. We...
We... We kid each other.
That's the... That's the
kind of relationship we have.
[CHUCKLES]
[LAUGHS]
Salad, Alison...? Oh!
I am so sor... Uh...
Uh...
[TIMER RINGS]
I'll get that.
I'll... I'll, uh...
Thanks, Joey.
All right, Vicky, I got
a big surprise for you.
Remember the first meal
I ever cooked for you?
You mean the mushed-up-turkey
with-the-puréed-vegetables-
in-the-dough thing?
Turkey in a boot.
You remembered.
Oh, boy, isn't this
a beauty, huh...?
DANNY: Joey!
Oh, my boot.
My wonderful, crusty boot.
Oh, Danny, I am sorry.
Listen, I... I'll take care of this.
Uh, anyone for a
turkey in a loafer?
Joey, forget about that.
Let me... Let me do it for you.
Honey, honey, honey, honey.
Please. Please let me do it.
I know you had a
hard day at work today.
Look, I'm not too
macho to clean.
How many times have I told you?
Counting now? Once.
Again she kids.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
[SIGHS]
Vicky, I... I am so sorry.
I know turkey in a boot
is your favorite meal.
Sweetheart, it's
not my favorite.
What?
The first time I made it for
you, you said you loved it.
I lied.
Uh, the truth is, it
tastes like it sounds.
I'm sorry.
We'd just started going out,
and I didn't want
to hurt your feelings.
I'm sure there are some
little fibs you've told me
to spare my feelings.
Yeah.
Remember when I told you
that I liked that pink
pullover you knitted for me?
You didn't like that sweater?
I didn't like it.
I loved it.
Oh!
[SIGHS]
Did I miss a food fight?
No, just a little
accident, Michelle.
Uh, Michelle... Excuse me, Jess.
Uh, this is Alison.
Alison, Michelle.
Hi.
Hi, Michelle.
Joey?
JOEY: Yeah, yeah?
What?
What are you doing?
You feel cool.
You said that you
had the hots for her.
[LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY]
Well, maybe you
misunderstood me.
You're Alison, right?
Yes.
He has the hots for you.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, boy, we'll always
remember our first date.
Joey, we're not on a date.
I thought I was just
coming over for dinner.
Boy, will you look at the time?
Michelle, you have to
go to bed, don't you?
Bye, everyone. Was
is something I said?
Nothing you said at all. No.
This is really embarrassing.
Um, maybe this wasn't
such a good idea.
It's nice meeting you.
Nice meeting you too.
Alison.
Alison, hold on a second.
No, I really should be going.
Now, listen, you gotta
give Joey a second chance.
I mean, he's... He's
really a nice guy.
I know he's a nice guy.
Sit down here a second.
See, what you don't know
is how much he likes you.
I mean, sometimes it's...
It's... It's hard for us guys
to show our feelings, you know?
I mean, occasionally it
comes out in a weird way.
I mean, instead
of Joey just saying,
"Hey, Alison, I dig you,"
he... He... He dumps
salad all over you.
Yeah. Well, it certainly
got my attention.
Listen, I love Joey.
I mean, I... I mean, I really
love Joey like a brother.
He's... He's the
warmest, sweetest guy...
He's like a big, big teddy
bear that you just want to hug,
and I promise, once
you get to know him,
you'll love him
too. I swear to you.
[SIGHS]
Jesse, I have something to say.
Am I in trouble again?
No.
I think I really misjudged you.
You're such a
good friend to Joey,
and you're so open and
in touch with your feelings.
Well, it's no biggie.
I guess it's just, uh...
Just the kind of guy I am.
I really feel like
I've been talking
to one of my girlfriends.
That's not the kind of guy I am.
Oh, great, Alison,
you're still here.
Joey, good. Listen, uh...
why don't you two guys, uh,
sit down and talk to each other?
Really sit down, talk a
little, enjoy each other, go.
Alison, look, I'm,
uh... I'm really sorry
if I came on too strong.
I just want to assure
you that in the future
all of our dealings
will be strictly
on a professional level.
So, uh, good night, um, sir.
Joey.
It doesn't have
anything to do with you.
I just came off a
bad relationship,
and I just need
a little more time.
How's that? Is that good?
Huh? More than that.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, that's okay. I
can wait. Don't worry.
So you must be starving.
I think there's
something in the kitchen
I haven't thrown
on the floor yet.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
DANNY: Coffee, anyone?
Here we go. Perfect.
Yeah.
[THUMP] DANNY: Joey!
[CRASHING, GLASS BREAKING]
Oh. Oh. [GIGGLES]
Bad luck. Uh...
Maybe we should go to, like,
a... A rubber-padded restaurant.
Someplace where I
can't break anything,
and then we'll have dessert.
[♪♪♪]
Think they're gonna
be through soon?
Steve's got to drive me home.
Well, while we're waiting,
you know what would
be the perfect end
to a perfect evening?
You're gonna teach me
how to throw a knuckle ball?
No, I-I was thinking more of...
What did you do that for?
I don't know.
Steve, I'd better
go talk to her.
[DOOR CLOSES]
Steve. Do you understand women?
Well, enough not to wipe my
mouth off when they kiss me.
Steph, are you okay?
This was the worst
night of my life.
Shh, you'll wake up Michelle.
Too late. Michelle's awake.
I need to talk to Stephanie.
Good. Then I'll help.
Steph, I know
how you're feeling.
You're hurt and confused.
You forgot humiliated,
crushed and scarred for life.
Steph, don't take it so hard.
It was only your first date.
And my last.
I'm never leaving
this room again.
Not even to go to the bathroom?
Michelle.
What was I thinking?
Why did I kiss him?
You kissed a boy?
Ew! Cooties!
Michelle, let me handle this.
Okay...
But you're not doing
a very good job.
Steph, why did you kiss Josh?
I don't know.
I thought I was supposed to.
That's what you and Steve do.
That's what it
said in Teen Week.
But Steph, you're not a teen.
And Steve and I do it
because we want to,
not because we're supposed to.
Well, how do you
know when you want to,
and he wants to,
and how to, and how long to?
I can't explain it.
When you're ready, you'll know.
All I know is, I was
not ready tonight.
Steph, that's not a bad thing.
Pfft. It was tonight.
You were just
trying to go too fast.
It was partly my fault.
I never should have
told you it was a date.
Josh was just a friend
that wanted to hang out.
That's what I thought
in the first place.
[SIGHS]
Do you think Josh will
ever talk to me again?
Of course he will.
You're pretty, you're
smart, you're funny.
Really? Think so?
Sure I do.
And you're the only one who
can teach him that knuckle ball.
Thanks, Deej. You're the best.
I can help with this part.
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪