03x21 - Bonus Bucks

[bunniefuu]

("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)

Yeah?

"U- ..."

No.

Oh.

"R"?

R-R-R. "R," yeah.

"R- - ..."

no.

Oh.

Uh, "L"?

L-- wait a minute.

L-L-L-L, no.

No?

No. Uh, "V"?

"V..." yeah.

"V." "V-O- - ..."

No.
No?

Hi.
Hi, honey.

Hi.
Hi.

RICKY: What are you doing?

Oh, we're checking dollar bills

with the bonus bucks in the paper.

Oh, you're still not doing that.

Certainly. There's one worth $
this week

and I am going to win it.

Lucy, there are eight million people
in New York City,

and who knows how many one-dollar
bills.

What makes you think you're gonna
win?

I can't miss.

All my life, I've been eating oysters

and never found a pearl.

Five years in a row,

I didn't win the Irish Sweepstakes,

and only yesterday at the grocery,

I missed guessing the number of beans
in the jar by two.

This time it's my turn.

Well, I didn't know all that.

I mean, you're a cinch.

And if it isn't her turn,

it certainly is mine.
That's right.

Now let's go.
Okay.

Yeah, I didn't realize it.
Okay. "X."

"X," yeah.

"X- - ..."

"X- - ..."

" ..." " "!

" ..." " "!

" ..." " "!

" "!

Couldn't you have made that "one" a
seven?

Give me a pen and I will.

Do we dare?

Oh, no.

The paper would frown on that.

The Treasury Department would make a
face, too.

Well, come on, Ethel.

Give me the next one.

That's all.
Oh.

Well, another day, another no dollar.

Yeah, darn it.

Oh, wait a minute.

We didn't go through the boys' money.

Ethel went through mine years ago.

I mean the money in your pockets.

Give me yours, Ricky.

Look, no use going through mine.

I found a pearl in an oyster once.

It's not my turn to win either.

I found a diamond ring in a box of
cr*cker Jack.

Oh, now, stop!

You stop joking.

He's not joking.

Where do you think he got this?

Well, I don't care what you two do,

but we're gonna win.

Come on, let's go get some more,
Ethel.

All right.
Some more what?

You watch the baby, while we're gone,
will you, Fred?

All right.
Some more what?

Some more one-dollar bills.

We're gonna take these ones and
change them into fives

at the market, and then we go to the
drugstore

change the fives into ones.

We've done it six times today.

How long will you be gone?

Until there isn't a dollar bill left

in this neighborhood unturned.

Good-bye, dear.
So long, Fred.

Good-bye.
Adios.

We are married to a couple of birds.

Yep. I think we'd better see

that the door of their cage is
locked.

Look, I got to go to work.

Excuse me while I put my tie on.

All right.

Find any new pearls?

Ah, who could tell, huh?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know, I know, yeah.

I was gonna do the same thing,

but I didn't have the paper with me.

(chuckling): Oh, I see.

Let's check them.

All right. Come on.

You can't tell.

Ah, that's nowhere...

No.
Nothing...

No.

"B- ..."

"B- - ..." Yeah.

Fred, wait a minute.
Huh?

I think I got one.

Oh, you're kidding.
I think I got one!

Well...
Check it for me, will you?

Yeah.
Check that!

Yeah.

"B, siete, ocho, quatro,

cinco, cinco, seis, dos, nueve, G."

Oh, read it in English, will you? In
English.

Wait a minute, what...

Look, I can't figure out what they
are.

You read it to me, will you? Hurry
up.

Here, I'll read it.

"B..." "B..."

" ..." " ..."

" ..." " ..."

" ..." " ..."

" ... ..." " ... ..."

" ..." " ..."

" ..." " "!

" ..." " "!

"G"!
"G"!

We got it! Bucks!

Oh, no!

And we were laughing at the girls!

Ha! Lucy will die when she finds this
out.

(whooping laugh)

smackers!

Ho, ho, ho!

It's too bad she couldn't find it
herself.

Oh, yes.

Wait a minute!

Maybe she can.

What do you mean, "Maybe she can"?

Tell you what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna take this dollar bill with
me to the club,

and when I come home tonight, she'll
be asleep, see?

So, I'll sneak into the room and I'll
put this in her purse,

and tomorrow morning, I'll ask her to
check her money again

and let her find it.

Oh, what a great idea!

What a kick she'll get out of this!

She'll die!

Listen, don't say a word to anybody,
huh?

No, no.

Don't even tell Ethel.

I won't breathe a word to Miss
Walkie-Talkie.

Okay! I'll see you later.

All right.
That's gonna be great!

(door slamming)

(whistling)

(whistling)

(whistles)

Why, honey, what are you doing up so
late?

Huh?

What are you doing up so late?

Baby. I was checking if he was
asleep.

Oh... well, you go back to sleep,
honey.

There you are.

Good little baby.

Good night, dear.

Mm.

Good night, honey.

Here you go.

That's a good breakfast for a big
boy.

Yes, sir.

Come on, now, you got to pay a little
attention to this.

(crying)

Got to put a little...
Laundry.

Oh, I forgot all about you! I'll get
it.

No, I can come back a little later.

Oh, would you?

I'd appreciate it very much, thank
you.

I'll have it ready for you.
Sure, fine. Bye.

Okay.
(crying)

Well, honey, did he scare you?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Well, come on, now, finish your
breakfast.

(knocking at door)
(crying)

Mrs. Ricardo?
Oh, come in, will you?

Oh, gee.
Is that all for us?

No, one's for the Mertzes.

Oh. How much do I owe you?

Uh, $ . .
(crying)

Oh, now, honey.
I'll get it for you.

Will you watch him a minute?

Yeah. I'm going to watch you now.

Here you are.

Three...
(crying)

, .

Gee, I hope one of these is a bonus
buck.

Don't worry. I checked them very
carefully last night.

Everybody does.

Yeah. Bye.

Thanks a lot. Bye.
Okay.

What's the matter, sweetheart?

Well, what's (crying)
the matter?

Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy!

What?
I got one!

I got a bonus buck!

Are you sure?

I checked it four times.

Where did you get it?

The grocery boy gave it to me in
change.

The grocery boy?

Oh, why didn't I have him make change
for me?

Oh, isn't it wonderful?

Yeah, swell.

Well, you don't sound very happy.

Oh, I'm happy, I'm happy.

Why, Lucy Ricardo, I believe you're
jealous.

No, I'm not.

I-I'm happy you-you won.

Really, I am.

Oh, think of it.

This little piece of green paper is
worth $ !

Yippee!
Yeah, isn't it exciting?

Isn't that wonderful?
Yeah.

I couldn't believe it What are you
going

when I checked the numbers.
to buy with all that money?

Well, I know how you must've felt.

Hey!
Yeah, what?

What's all the shouting about?

Oh, Ethel just found a bonus buck.

No kidding?

Yeah.
Yeah.

Well, congratulations. Thank you.

The grocery boy gave it to her

Oh. in change.

If I couldn't win, I'm glad it was
Ethel.

Well, that's nice.

But, uh, what would you say if I told
you

that Ethel wasn't the only one?

What do you mean?

Well, I wanted it to be a surprise,
but, uh...

But what?

I found a bonus buck last night, too.

Really? Where is it?

Now, wait a minute.

See, I wanted you to find it before I
did.

See? Yeah, yeah?

And, uh, so, I took it with me to the
club.

Yeah, well, where is it? Where is
it?!

Now, wait a minute!

I took it to the club with me last
night

and then I came home Yeah.

and you were asleep, Yeah.

so I sneaked into the room
Yeah.

and I opened your purse
Yeah.

and I put it inside your purse.
Oh, no!

Oh, no!

ETHEL: What's the matter?

I-I gave all the money in my purse to
the grocery boy.

Oh, no!

Yeah!

See you later.

Wait a minute!

Wait a minute.

I gave our bonus buck to the grocery
boy.

He said he was going right over to
your apartment,

so that must be ours.

Ours was the big one-- bucks!

So is that one.
It's ours!

Now, wait a minute.

The grocery boy gave that to me in
change,

so it's legally mine.

Now, Ethel...
Now, now, no.

Of course it's mine.
I found it.

I had it in my pocket.

Ethel, Ethel, you heard what he said.

Yes, but you gave it to him and...

No, but I found it last night.

What's all the ruckus?

Oh, well, I got a bonus dollar...

(all talking at once)

Wait a minute, will you?

Wait a minute, wait a minute!

Give me this one at a time, will you?

The grocery boy gave me a bonus buck
in change.

Yeah, but it's really mine

because I gave it to the grocery boy
by mistake.

Yeah, she didn't know I had put it

in her purse last night.
No, no.

You mean that's the bill you showed
me last night?

Yeah, the big one!
You know the bucks.

You saw me with it, didn't you, Fred?

Sure, I saw you with it.
You had it.

There! Now, whose dollar is it?

It's Ethel's.

There, you see?

Ethel's?

How can you say that?!

Because possession is nine points of
the law.

Possession?

Mira que tiene cosa de decirle a uno
que tengo...

Hey, he's right.
He's right.

Fred is right.

Well, I'm glad you finally saw the
light.

I sure did.

Now wait a minute, that's mine!

Now you heard what Fred said.

Possession is nine points of the law,
and I'm possessed!

Give me back my dollar bill!

(all shouting at once)

RICKY: Ethel! Lucy!

Well, I hope you're satisfied.

Look what you did.

Look what I did?

Would you mind giving me the rest of
my dollar?

Would you mind giving me the rest of
my dollar?

Ethel!

Well, it's mine!

Now, just a minute, dear.

The grocery boy gave it to me.

All right, all right, now, just a
minute.

Just a minute.

We each have a very good case.

So, I tell you what let's do.

Let's split it.

We just did.

I mean the money.

Let's divide it.

No. Oh...

Now, look, it says in the paper

that somebody has to get down there
before :

with the buck, or nobody gets no
money.

FRED: That's right. That's right.

All right.

All right, Ethel, give me your half

and I'll paste them together.

No, you give me your half.

Why, Ethel Mertz, don't you trust me?

No!

What an awful thing to say!

Well, you don't trust me.

That's different.
I know I can trust me.

Oh, look who knows she can trust...

All right, all right, now, just a
minute.

I'll take charge of it.

Just give them to me.

Apparently, there's only one person
here

who everyone trusts.

Lucy?

Well!

Okay, I'll tell you what we'll do.

We'll each keep our half

and we'll go to the newspaper office
together.

I'm for that.

Okay, I'll buy that.
I'm for that.

All right, Hey! give it to me.

For safekeeping.

And I'll take charge of this for
safekeeping.

Now I'll dress and take a shower

and we'll all go down there together.

Call Mrs. Trumbull.

All right.

Hurry up.

(whistling)

Yes, well, I'd appreciate it if you
could come over

as soon as possible, Mrs. Trumbull.

Thanks very much. Bye.

Mrs. Ricardo, laundry.

Oh, I forgot all about you.

I'll get it right away.

Okay, I'll wait.

RICKY: La de da, la de da

De da re

Da da re da

La da da da re...

Oh, sorry to keep you waiting.

It's okay.
Thanks a lot.

Okay, bye.
See you next week.

Come on, Ricky, it's half past : .
Hurry up!

RICKY: What's your hurry?

We don't have to be there till : .

Well, I don't want to take any
chances.

The subway might break down or
something.

Yeah, come on, Rick.
Yeah, come on, come on.

RICKY: All right, all right.

Come on, let's go.
You ready?

Good.

Oop. Wait a minute.

What's the matter?

I forgot one little item.

What?

Our half of the bonus buck.
Oh.

Oh.
Oh.

LUCY: That's all we need.

I left it in the top of my pajamas.

Ricky?

Yes?

Those pajamas...

Were they the red ones?

Yeah.

With the check tops?

Yeah.

That were hanging in the bathroom?

Yeah. I'll go get it.

What do you mean, "were hanging"?

Lucy...

Lucy?

What did you do with those pajamas?

I... Well, I, uh...

What happened?

Where I, uh... are they?

How did I know there was any money in
them?!

Where are they?

Where are they?

Where are they?

At the laundry.

TOGETHER: At the laundry?!

At the laundry.

How could you do a stupid thing like
that?!

Three hundred bucks gone to the
laundry!

If you were a man, I'd punch you in
the nose.

Well, now, wait a minute, it isn't my
fault.

It's Ricky's fault.

Ricky's! Ricky's! Ricky's!

Sure. How did I know there was
anything

in the pocket, and that was a pretty
silly place to put it!

Yeah! Yeah!

That was a pretty dumb stunt.

Yeah!

And if you weren't such a young man,

I'd punch you in the nose!

Now just a minute, everybody.

It's nobody's fault, really.

It's just bad luck, that's all.

Now we just got to go down there

and get it before they wash it.

Wash it?
Whoo.

Yeah. Come on, let's go.

Oh.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

What?
Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Well, it's no use

all of us going down to the laundry.

You go to the newspaper office

and show them your half of the buck

and then tell them

that I'm coming right over with the
other half.

LUCY: Yeah.

RICKY: All right?

No matter what happens, get that
bill.

All right, now, well, we-we might...

we might have to spend a few dollars
getting it.

That's all right.

We'll pay it out of the winnings.

Okay, let's go.

Okay.
Come on, let's go.

Take a cab.

We'll take a taxi.

Oh.

Uh, I'm Mr. Ricardo.

I'm Mrs. Ricardo.
We'd like to...

Just a minute.

- I'm Mrs. Ricardo, - Look, I'm Mr.
Ricardo.

- and I'd like to ask - We sent a
pajama here

- if I could get something - We'd
like to get it back

- that was in the laundry.
- Because we-we...

weren't supposed to...

Hup-up-up-up-up-up!

Now, please,

just one of you

tell me your story in just plain
English.

You.

Well, you see, I-I found a bonus
buck,

and I brought it home last night.

I wanted to surprise my wife with it.

Y la senora se lo dio al grocer.

And then he took it downstairs,

He gave it to the manager of the
apartment

who's Mrs. Mertz

in the change and then when they come
up

she said she had found the bonus
buck.

Actually, well, bonus buck

que le puse en la cartera anoche.

And then we had a big fight and then
we tore it up.

She had a half, and we had a half

and then we decided together

maybe we'd go down to the newspaper
office

and win the $ .

Y entonces yo fui

a un shower

y la puse en el top de la pajama

se lo dio al muchacho del laundry

and it's here, we got to get it back.

Look, you... you picked a fine one

to tell you in plain English.

Look, there's a little slip of paper
that's worth $ .

It's in the pocket of my husband's
pajamas

and I sent it to the laundry.

Is that what you was trying to say?

Now never mind that.

I got to go in there and get it.

Can't you even read plain English?

Look. This is worth $ .

Very important.

We got to go in there.

You ain't an employee

and you can't go in there!

I got my orders!

Yeah, you're right, sir.
Forgive us.

Forget all about it.

It's all right, it's your job.
That's all right.

Hey! Where's your number?

Where are your slips?

You can't go in there.

You ain't an employee!

Come back here, you rascal, you!

You'll lose me my job!

(yelling and screaming)

I got them, Lucy!

Get out! Honey, I got them!

Let go of me!
Get out, Lucy!

Honey, I got them!

It's in the corner!

Honey, our laundry bag's Where?

in the corner, right there.

The blue one.

Honey, where?

The blue one, honey, Where?

in the corner, yeah!

WOMAN: Will you let go of me!

RICKY: Just keep dancing.
Honey, don't worry.

I got them!

WOMAN: You're crazy!

RICKY: Keep dancing, that's all!

Attagirl.

Go up the stairs!

What are you doing?

You did it now.

Yeah, I got it!

You got it, honey?
Fine.

Where does this go?

It goes to the starch vat!

What?

It goes

to the starch vat!

The starch vat!

Ethel, it's almost : .

I don't think they're gonna make it.

Oh, now, don't give up.
We still got one minute.

All right. Now, for the last time,

will you give me half the money if I
give you half the bill?

For the last time, no!

Aah!

Ethel, cancel our subscription.

We don't take this paper.

Well, order a subscription

and then cancel it.
Oh...

Did I make it?

Where's Lucy?

She's having a little trouble coming
up the stairs.

Here it is.

What happened to it?

Well, she had it with her

when it fell in the starch vat.

Oh, let me have it.
Come on.

I haven't got it.
Where's yours?!

I haven't got it!

What do you mean you haven't got it?!

There it is.
Here it is.

There it is.

Give me the money!
Give me the money!

You made it.
Hurry up! Congratulations!

Ah, we won! We won!

(all guffawing)

Ay-yi-yi!

We made it.

Now listen, Fred.

We had a few little expenses, you
know.

Yeah?
Yeah?

Remember you say we pay them out of
the winnings.

Yeah.
Sure, I remember.

Okay. Well, it was $ for the
taxicab.

$ ?

Yeah, well, we told him to wait for
us, you know.

Oh, yeah.

We couldn't take a chance.
Yeah.

And then we had to give $ to the
fellow

down at the laundry for his overalls
and his cap.

Yeah.
We had to sneak in the laundry,

you know, to get her to give back.

Yeah, so?
And then we gave

the taxicab driver an extra $

to get us here in time.

Extra $ ?

Yes. Well, we didn't want to take a
chance

in not getting here, you know?

And a $ fine for speeding.

Fifty dollars?!

We were going awful fast.

Yeah.

And then all the damage at the
laundry.

Damage?

Yeah. We-we messed the place up
pretty bad.

H-H-How much was that?

That's $ .

$ ?!

Yeah. I'll count it out, wait a
minute.

, and for cab...

Is there gonna be anything...?

How much... how much have we got
left?

Yeah.

One dollar?!

Oh, no!

("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)

ANNOUNCER: I Love Lucy is a Desilu
production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz

will be back next week at this same
time.