03x11 - The Spirit of St. Lewis

[bunniefuu]

Previously on The Last Man on Earth...

But, Todd, what if
she wanders off again?

LEWIS: She's a danger to
herself and maybe to us.

We can't just let her roam around here.

We could lock her in
that focus group room

with the two-way mirror,

keep an eye on her from in there.

Are you learning how to fly?

LEWIS: Figure if
I get good enough,

maybe one day I can fly off
to Tokyo and look for Mark.

It's creepy. It's like she
can see us through the mirror.

LEWIS: You think she's still mad?

TODD: It's hard to tell.

She's just been sitting
like that for the past hour.

It's very unnerving.

Bud, you're doing the right thing.

This is for her own safety.

Yeah, but it still doesn't feel right.

You know, why don't I go check on her?

I used to shadow the HR lady
at the hot sauce company,

so I know my way around
a psychotic episode.

Hi, Melissa.

(no audio)

- Well, that was not fun.
- What happened?

Well, she just said that
Gail didn't go to Napa,

but she threw herself over a cliff

'cause I bugged her too much. (chuckles)

Hey, don't listen to Melissa, okay?

She's just trying to
get under your skin.

It's a classic lash out.

Here, let me give it a try.

(no audio)

She said the last thing
that Mike said before he d*ed

was, uh, "Where's my brother?"

Here, let me try.

She hasn't known me for as long,

so she doesn't have any emotional a*mo.

(no audio)

She said Mark is still alive.

- Oh, that's positive.
- Oh.

And living with his new lover in Tokyo.

Oh, she got you on the
flippety with that one.

(muted): Hi, Melissa.

(no audio)

Australia sank.

(no audio)

I'm getting fat.

No one likes a short man.

I'm pregnant with Mike's baby.

Racial slur.

I mean, she actually just
said the words "racial slur."

Well, now I'm definitely
not going in there.

I mean, she's already the most
pissed at me for locking her up.

- Oh, Todd, she'll come around.
- Don't b*at yourself up.

MELISSA (singsongy): Judas.

Oh, Judas.

Two-way mirror... how can
she tell where you are?

I'll never forgive you, Todd.

Wow, she's really nailing the
worst-thing-you-can-hear thing.

Yeah.

TANDY: Nice takeoff, very smooth.

You're a regular Sully Sullenberger.

Sully Sullenberger? I
hardly "knewenberger."

(laughs)

- You want a drink?
- Yeah. I could use one.

All right.

Where did you get all these?

Oh, come on.

We got an airplane.

If we didn't have tiny bottles,
we'd be gigantic "bott-holes."

(laughs) Well, that one worked well.

Down the hatch.

Mm.

So, uh, when do you
think that you'll be ready

to take, like, a real flight,
get out there and go see Mark?

Technically, I've logged
enough hours in here

to try a test run, but I don't know.

I just don't feel quite ready yet.

Well, take your time.

You'll know when you're ready.

You don't want to rush
something like flying.

That's pure su1c1de.

Round two?

Ah, I probably shouldn't.

I want to get some more flights in here.

Hey, don't worry.

I got you a little Breathalyzer.

Breathalyzer? I hardly "knewalyzer."

See, it works with everything.

Does it?

Okay, you keep up the
good simulating, huh?

(chuckles)

Hey, guys.

Any, uh, leads?

Nothing yet.

Everything seems so similar,

and without any medical training,

it's hard to pin down.

Yeah, even doctors misdiagnose.

I once had a bunion removed.

Turned out it was a sixth toe.

How's Melissa doing?

Not great. You know,
I-I got a baby monitor

so I can keep an eye on her.

Oh, I think the screen's broken.

- Looks like it's frozen there.
- ERICA: Yeah.

No, she's just standing there.

- Oh, my God.
- You know, we might not

want to rule out a standard possession.

This has all the tell-tale
signs of a conjuring.

Maybe we just keep it to the,
uh, medical world for now.

It could be general psychosis.

Oh, well, what are the symptoms of that?

Detachment from reality,

putting oneself and others in danger,

childlike regression.

TANDY: Good afternoon, Vietnam!

Hey-oh!

Never mind. I think
the odds of two people

in the group having that are slim.

Made a little run to the pharmacy,

and I think I might have just
come up with a little solution.

What are those?

Pills.

Pills? What pills?

Just a classic mix and match.

So now we're just gonna give
her a bunch of random dr*gs?

Eh, it's kind of a "you know
it when you see it" situation.

Hmm. Looks like he got some Lexapro,

Zoloft, Prozac, Celexa, Paxil,

Luvox, Latuda.

I've dabbled.

Tandy, we can't make her take pills.

What about shock therapy?

(sighs)

It worked wonders on my grandma.

My grandpa always said that before,

she was like, "Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba,"

and then afterwards, nothing.

TODD: Guys, we're not giving her dr*gs.

Okay? Or shock therapy.

I mean, come on, this is ridiculous!

Todders, what's wrong?

Seriously? We don't
know what we're doing,

and we never will; we're not doctors.

Hey, we'll figure it out.

Oh, we'll figure it out?

Like we figured out how to
do an appendectomy on Phil?

Yeah, that worked out great.

Or we are just gonna figure
it out when babies start

popping out of that one. Huh?

Or that one?

Look, all the women in my
family needed C-sections.

All of them.

What are we gonna do if
one of them needs one?

Huh?

Wake up, bud.

It's all going south.

- Hey, Lewis!
- (screams)

Come on, get that nose
up, bud! Level those wings!

Straighten up and fly right.

Or left. You choose. You're the pilot.

(Tandy screams)

(laughs)

You don't see that up in
the air every day, huh?

What do you want, Tandy?

I want you to put that thing
in park and come out with me.

I got a little present for you.

(siren wailing)

And... ta-da!

(chuckles)

What's going on?

What's going on is you're ready.

Ready for what?

Your first flight... now.

You want me to fly that thing?

I've only flown in a simulator.

Do you think that Amelia Earhart

had a bunch of cracks
at it in a simulator?

No. She just got into
a plane and wung it.

Amelia Earhart crashed and d*ed, Tandy.

Uh, we don't know that.

She might have got into
a jogging accident, right?

Look, what are you getting
so worked up about, huh?

I mean, it's very well known

that flying is the safest
form of travel, right?

I mean, we had way more
of a chance of dying

on the drive over here.

- It's simple statistics.
- (sighs)

Do those statistics take into account

someone who's never flown before?

Yes, they do.

You have no idea what
you're talking about.

Yes, I do, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, you didn't know this.
I never told you this.

I used to, uh, be a travel statistician.

You were a temp.

Yes, I... at a... a
travel statisticiary.

Sorry, Tandy, not doing this.

Yeah, Lewis, wait. W-Wait. Look.

Melissa's sick, Todd's a mess,
and, like, Carol and Erica...

they're freaking out
now about C-sections.

And how does me flying
make any of that better?

If we get you up into a plane,

there's a chance that
you could find someone.

And who knows? Maybe that
someone could be a doctor.

I don't know. It seems
like long sh*t, Tandy.

Yeah, it's a frickin' long sh*t,

but we're fresh out of short sh*ts, bud.

Look,

this is gonna be scary
whenever you decide to do it,

but you got to take that leap one day.

Why not today?

(sighs)

It is a nice plane.

Yeah, it is, sure.

And I have put the time in.

Tremendous amount of time in there.

And I guess the sooner I get flying,

the sooner I get back to Mark.

There you go.

Solid logic.

(sighs)

Okay.

Okay, I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna freaking fly.

You're gonna freaking fly!

(whoops)

♪ On the wings of Lewis ♪

ALL: ♪ Up and above the clouds ♪

♪ The only way to fly ♪

♪ Is flying high upon
the wings of Lewis ♪

♪ Ah! ♪

(scat-singing discordant notes)

- (whoops)
- Yeah!

(laughs) Yes!

Yup, yup, yup, yup, yup!

Hey, guys, I'm just gonna take off,

take a short lap and
sit it right back down,

so we really don't have to
make a big deal out of this.

Oh, yes, we do.

Lewis, you haven't even
gotten off the ground yet,

but you've already lifted our spirits.

CAROL: Oh, and while you're up there,

maybe you could fly over Napa
and see if Gail's doing okay?

Carol, you can just drive to Napa.

It's, like, an hour away.

Not the way I drive.

I drive very slowly.

Maybe one day you could
fly me to Australia.

Uh... sure.

Why not? It's a date.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Hey, listen, Lewis...
- Oh, my.

- Oh.
- Excuse me.

Lewis, I just

want to thank you so much, all right?

- Oh, geez.
- I mean, this means

so much... to me and Melissa.

Right, sweetheart?

Yeah.

Yeah, she's... giving you

a thumbs up there, so... (laughs)

Thanks, Melissa.

I'd like to make a toast.

Raise your glasses, please.

- Yes.
- Yeah.

- Galileo...
- TODD: Hmm.

Sir Isaac Newton,

Thomas Alva Edison,

Doug Henning,

Pelé, Peter Frampton,

Jonas Salk,

Lena Dunham,

Shel Silverstein,

Kenny Loggins,

George Washington Carver,

Lewis.

TODD: Yeah.

CAROL: This is so exciting.

Talk about front page news.

"Lewis Gets It Wright, Brother!"

Yup, it's the first edition
of the Post Virus Post.

Lewis, you want one?

Uh, I'll grab one after
the flight, thanks.

Roger Rabbit that.

- Oh.
- Sorry.

It's all right.

I got you a little good
luck send-off present.

It's traditional gear.

It's a bomber's jacket from Aeropostale.

- Oh, no.
- Put it on, please. Now.

And this is a pilot's hat

from one of San Jose's most
respected Halloween stores.

Wear it with pride.

Thank you very much.

You're welcome.

All right, everyone,
I guess it's showtime.

Wow, this is real.

This just got very... very, very real.

That's how you know it's right.

(sighs) Okay.

Right.

Right on!

Nelson Mandela.

Jim Henson.

Hamilton.

The guy who did Hamilton.

I got it, Tandy.

I'm not finished.

Lewis.

(chuckles)

You're ready for this, bud.

Now you get up there and
kiss some clouds, okay?

Thanks.

- (Tandy laughs)
- CAROL: Yes!

- Just gave him a little pep talk.
- What'd you say?

TANDY: Oh, I've been doing
this thing where I say

famous people's names, then
I put his name at the end.

It really lands.

(engine starting)

- Okay.
- Okay, let's get out of the way.

Come on.

(cheering)

(cheering, Tandy whooping)

(cheering and indistinct shouting)

(Tandy whoops)

- Yes!
- (indistinct shouting)

(cheering)

Yes!

(indistinct shouting)

(indistinct shouting)

(shouting)

(cheering)

(screams)

ERICA: Oh!

Oh! Oh!

Was... not... ready.

Well, he made the front
page two days in a row.

We'll miss you.

Neil Armstrong,

Johnny Appleseed,

SEAL Team Six.

Ryan Lochte before Rio.

None of these people
hold a candle to Lewis.

Was he a hero?

I would slap you across the face
if you even asked that question.

And since I just asked that question...

It took a turn fast.

No one here is disputing that.

The cleanup was, uh... messy.

Yeah, it was.

Lot of people would look
at Lewis' test flight

and say that Lewis failed that test.

Not me.

I say he passed.

Passed away.

But now Lewis is safely in
the arms of his partner Mark.

I mean, let's face it,

we all knew that Mark was dead.

(chuckles) Todd, uh,

do you have a song for us?

Yeah, Tandy, I prepared a freakin' song.

My girlfriend's trapped in
a cage that I put her in,

but I abandoned her so
I could stay up all night

and learn a bunch of lyrics.

So, a no on the song.

No, I prepared one. I just told you,

I stayed up all night.

Oh, good. Well...

♪ I... ♪

♪ Just want to fly ♪

♪ Put your arms ♪

♪ Around me, baby ♪

♪ Put your arms around me, baby ♪

♪ I... ♪

♪ Just want ♪

♪ To... ♪

Fly.

Thank you, Todd.

You're welcome.

Now, would anybody else
like to say a few words?

Yeah, I'd like to.

(sighs)

Every time hope comes
into my life, it dies.

I fell in love with Phil. He d*ed.

Mike came into my life. He d*ed.

Lewis promised to take me to Australia.

Dead.

So, obviously, I'm cursed.

Oh, and we might as well make
this a funeral for Gail, too,

because I'm starting to
think Melissa's right.

Gail's dead.

And why? Because everyone
I love always dies.

Thank you.

That was beautiful, Erica.

(Australian accent):
Good on ya. (chuckles)

I hold here what are
probably Lewis' remains.

And a few bolts.

Yeah.

But now, Lewis, you're free.

Ashes to ashes,

bolts to bolts...

Say it with me.

- Bolts to bolts.
- Ashes to ashes.

- Ashes to ashes.
- Great.

(beep)

(whirring)

(Carol groans)

(groans)

Good funeral.

Hi there.

Took that thing off.

Couldn't remember if you
believed in them or not.

(sighs) Well,

I really miss Lewis.

If he's up there with you,

please, just tell him I'm sorry.

I was just trying to help.

(chuckles softly)

Everything's such a mess right now.

I don't know what to do.

E-Every time I try
to turn things around,

I just make it worse.

So if you have any idea

how to fix this,

please let me know.

'Cause I am just...

lost.

(sighs)

And now I'm found.

Thanks, God!

You see that? Boo!

("I Gotta Move" by The Kinks playing)

♪ I don't wanna get left behind ♪

♪ Gonna love my baby all the time ♪

♪ If I don't wanna get left alone ♪

♪ I gotta move on
down my baby's home ♪

♪ And if my baby isn't there ♪

♪ I'm gonna fill my
gap and comb my hair ♪

♪ Gotta move ♪

♪ Gotta move, ooh ♪

♪ Gotta move ♪

♪ Gotta move. ♪

Right down this way.

Follow these cords.

Spoiler. (chuckles)

All right, thank you so much
for coming out here. So, uh,

I had a little gab sesh today
with the big guy upstairs...

uh, talking about God... uh,

and, you know, he gifted me

with an epiphany,

something that will
help us to honor Lewis

and to raise our spirits as well.

'Cause, let's face it,
I mean, we've been going

through a pretty rough stretch, right?

So, hopefully,

this will help us see the light.

- ("Flower Duet" playing)
- (chuckles)

The rainbow!

A symbol

near and dear to Lewis' heart.

Let the healing begin!

Yeah, that's cool.

Pretty colors. (chuckles softly)

Lewis would've liked this.

Or been offended. Hard to know.

Right? (chuckles)

Wait, where you guys goin'?

Just kind of cold.

But really good job.

Nobody liked it.

Why'd you make me do that?

It was all for nothin'?