02x13 - The Strike

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Nanny". Aired: November 1993 to June 1999.*
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After being fired from her job she is mistakenly hired to care for the family of a widowed Broadway producer.
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02x13 - The Strike

Post by bunniefuu »

Morning, Niles.

God save the queen.

I don't look too much
like a roll of Lifesavers?

Yes. But the flavor
goes on and on.

Oh, Niles, it's always
the quiet ones.

I want to wear this to
Mr. Sheffield's big opening night,

but I gotta practice
sitting in it.

Whoa!

That looks natural.

Well, maybe if I sat on the aisle?

Oh, oh, thanks.

Well, here it is a full-page
ad in today's paper.

"Opening tonight 'Norma,'

a musical adaptation of Norma Rae,
produced by Maxwell Sheffield

and Cee Cee Boopcock?"
/ Boopcock?

I proofread this ad copy myself, and then
I gave it to Niles to send to the messenger ...

Oh, how embarrassing.

Someone at that ad agency
must have it in for you.

Oh, who would have thought
that I would love a musical

about a union organizer sorely
in need of dress shields,

but I'll tell you, I'm still humming
the sweat shop number.

Uh-huh. So Niles, you haven't told me
what you thought of the preview.

Oh, it was wonderful, sir.

Those three hours and fifteen minutes
flew by like three hours and ten.

And what a novel idea not
to have an intermission.

Yes, thank you. I'm,
I'm very proud of the show.

Well, you should be. I know my whole
family is going to see it.

We're union workers from way back.
My Aunt Tessie was all-blouse.

What's all-blouse?
/ You know, from the commercial.

"Look for the union label

when you are buying a coat,
dress, or blouse."

Yes, well, let's all break
a leg tonight, shall we?

Oh, you won't need luck,
Mr. Sheffield,

not with the hit play you've got
on your hands, Mister.

Niles, I'm not kissing up.
It's a very important play.

If I don't sit through it again,
how am I going to get to the party?

Come on. Don't you want to hobnob
with some celebrities?

Miss Fine, I've been to scores of these
and as yet, no one has hobbed my nobs.

Well, maybe you should try wearing
something a little more low cut.

Fran, what do you think
about this one?

Oh, honey, that is entirely
too revealing.

No, no, no. It makes
you look cheap and taudry.

Go put it back in my closet.

Fran, Brighten says he can see up
my dress when I wear my Mary Janes.

Oh, sweetie, don't listen to him.

They make you look
very lucky.

Oh, I see you're wearing the
new Barbie underpants I bought you.

Say, Fran, can I go to that new mall in Jersey
with with Kyle and a couple of guys?

Which Kyle? The one with the braces
or the one that smells like cheese?

Cheese.
/ Oh,good. The other one's weird.

How you going to get there?
/ His brother's driving.

How long has he had his license?
/ A while.

A while ten years or a while he still
looks like the picture on his license?

Oh, "B," I don't think so.
I don't want you getting into a car

with a bunch of boys that just drive fast
and act fresh, and then the next thing you know,

you're hitchhiking on the Jersey turnpike
wearing much too much makeup for your age -- oh.

I'm having a hypoglycemic att*ck.

I better have a Godiva.

Oh, cheer up, honey.
Hey, I've been to that mall.

They don't even have
a Judy's there.

Besides, tonight's your father's
big opening night.

What if you got stuck in traffic?
Then you'd miss the whole thing.

I'm not that lucky.

Hum, nugget.

Say, Dad, could I go to
the mall with Kyle?

Well, I don't know.
What does Miss Fine say?

Well, you see, she was kind of
leaning towards no.

But between you and me, I think
she's just a little overprotective,

which is fine for the girls,
but sometimes a man needs to get away.

Maxwell ...

I know what you mean.

Well, all right.
Off you go, huh. Have fun.

Yes...

terday, all my troubles
seemed so far away.

Now it looks as though
they're here to stay.

Well, the good news is "B,"
I'm usually a very fair nanny.

The bad news is it's
the th day of the month.

Niles, how long are you going to
polish that couch?

The fumes are rather overwhelming.

After a while,
you don't notice them, sir.

Oh, I couldn't resist
the infomercial.

"Unwanted dirt just
slides right off ..."

Voila!

Cheers. Must be five
o'clock somewhere.

I haven't been drinking,
Nanny Fine.

I just slid off the couch.

And Ted Kennedy's nose
is just sun damaged.

Mr. Sheffield, you got a second?
/ Yes.

Well, Brighten -- / Whoops!
Time's up. Good-bye, Nanny Fine.

Well, you're in a good mood.
Well, I'll take care of that.

Well, this sounds like a must miss.
I have to pick up my dress from the cleaners anyway.

Ohhhh!

It's also an excellent
floor polish.

All right, Miss Fine,
now what's all this about Brighten?

Well, we've got a little problem.

Brighten knew I didn't want
him to go to the mall.

So he used you to undermine me.

No. In all fairness, he made it
perfectly clear you'd already said no.

Oh, well, then I take it back.

We don't have a little problem.
We've got a big problem.

Miss Fine, don't you think you're
being just a bit overprotective?

It's a, it's a guy thing.

You know, I, I thought it was
appropriate to just let him go.

And just how did you think
he was getting to Jersey?

He's going to Jersey?

Just for the future,
Mr. Sheffield,

when the kids
say "Fran said, 'No,'

" that's the big robot saying
danger Will Robinson."

You know, I could have
stayed in England.

I'll make it simple for you.
Children are like a brassiere.

One part of me says
get out the window quick.

But the other part just
has to know why.

Because they divide and separate.

Ahhh .../ Your mother
never told you that?

No. But we always thought mummy should
have talked more about her underwear.

My point is that you have to give me
full support. You must back me up no matter what.

All right, Miss Fine, I promise,
if you promise no brassiere analogies.

Cross my heart. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

I don't want to hear that you
don't want to go tonight.

That man works very hard to put
a roof over your head.

Now stop whining and go put
on your party clothes.

Oh, all right.

Don't give me that look.
/ What look?

Oh, the look of anticipation, sir.
It's only four hours till "Norma."

Try to hold on, man.

Do you smell cheese?

Oh, that's Kyle.

All righty. I'm going to
the mall like you said.

I've changed my mind.
Brighten you're staying home.

... and when Miss Fine says
"No," it means no.

Good afternoon, monster --
ah, Master Kyle.

Dad, nothing's going to happen.
/ Look, I think I've made
myself perfectly clear.

Is someone making grilled cheese?

I think Kyle's just
a little overheated.

Take your coat off, honey.

Hello, I'm Peter Bidwall. I'll be
driving the boys to the mall.

You must be Mr. Sheffield.
/ Yes.

How do you do, sir? I saw
your last play. Brilliant.

Really? What was your favorite part?

Mr. Sheffield .../ Now, Miss Fine,
he seems like a perfectly responsible young man.

Yeah. Too bad that he's not
the one that's driving. / What?

I'll bet you dollars for donuts
that this kid is the decoy.

We used to send Bridgett O'Malley
in her parochial uniform to the door.

Meanwhile, behind the wheel
is sitting Debbie Cutler

burning her boyfriend's
initials in her forearm.

Watch and learn.

Lovely home you have here.

Peter, I've never met you before.
Where do you go go school?

Um, right around the corner.
/ Oh ... Who are you studying with?

Hamagher or Schlemmer?

Ah, Schlemmer?

Okay. Where'd they dig you up from?

The Gap.

How much are they paying you?
/ Twenty.

Twenty? Boy, Bridgett used to do
it for a pack of Kents.

Well, you're busted, you guys.

Sorry, guys. No refunds.

Kyle, you paid him?

Well, if he's not driving,
then I'm not going. Get out.

Oh, man, that was close.

Brighten --
/ Allow, me, Miss Fine.

Brighten, you are grounded.
/ Ha ...

And furthermore, you're not
going to the show tonight.

Ohhh,

but I've only seen that once.

You should have thought of
that before.

Oh, well.

Freeze!

Mr. Sheffield,

I think you're being just
a little too severe.

He's really a good boy.

No, I'm not.

I'm bad, very bad.

He wants to come with us
and see the play again.

All three acts.

Well ...
/ Oh, but I don't deserve it.

Oh, baby, you do.

You really do.

Mr. Sheffield? Another opening,
another shrimp joke.

Miss Fine, what were those two women
behind you complaining about?

Oh, who knows? Something
about not being able to see.

What do you think, Niles? Niles?

The Nicks are up by two.

Maxwell, the photographers want to
take a picture of us. / Oh ...

Go on, Nanny Fine, free shrimp.

You don't have to tell me twice

Mr. Sheffield, can we get
a photo of you and Miss Boopcock?

All right.
Not shall we?

Wait a minute.
Are the busboys on strike?

Oh, my God, those poor people.

Who's going to clear their tables?

Miss Fine, after you.

Mr. Sheffield, I can't go in there.
My mother had three rules:

Never make contact with a public toilet;

never ever ever cross
a picket line.

What was the third one? Oh, yeah.
Never wear Musk oil to zoo.

Miss Fine, you're embarrassing me.
Now come along.

I can't. My my Aunt All-Blouse
would roll over in her grave,

which was paid for by her union.

Now, will you please come in before
this turns into a spectacle? / No, no ....

No, I can't ... Stop it.
/ Would you let go, Miss Fine.
Would you please listen.

Oh, Niles, boy did I ruin
Mr. Sheffield's big night last night.

Well, you know what I'll do just
to defuse the situation?

I'll tell him how adorable he is,
compliment him on his accent.

And if that fails, I can always
turn on the tears.

He's a real sucker for crying.

Oh, hi, Niles / Hello.

Can you drop me off
at Unemployment?

Good morning, Miss Fine.
Entertainment section, please, Niles.

Oh, don't bother.
I've already scoured the paper.

I didn't see any mention of
our little incident.

It was a coupon?


Just imagine what this picture
would have look liked, huh?

Miss Fine!

How could you do it to me?

Well, I'm sorry. But the Fines
don't cross picket lines.

It's against our religion.
Like eating pork.

Well, you eat bacon.
/ No, I don't.

You most certainly do too.

All right. But only if it's very
crispy or in a club sandwich.

But don't ever tell my grandmother.
/ She eats it as well.

Oh, all right, we all do.

Mr. Sheffield, what part of England
do you come from?

You have such a gorgeous accent.

Miss Fine ...

Well, you don't understand anything.

Oh, I understand a lot
more than you think.

Oh, what's the use? You blue bloods
just don't know from us blue collars.

Oh, so now I don't appreciate
the plight of the working man, huh?

Look, I have a job.
/ Huh?

I'm a working stiff,
just like the next guy.

Oh, Niles, what is this on my shoe?

Daddy, I need the limo. I have
a riding lesson after school.

But I have a play date
with Ivanka Trunk.

Well, one of you will just have to
take the Town Car, won't you?

There. See. We have problems
just like everyone else.

Maxwell, you are never going to
believe what happened.

There was a message on
your answering machine?

No, no. The box office does -- no ...

The box office doesn't open for a hour,
and there's already a line around the block,

and Sally Jesse Rafael wants us
on her show today.

Oh, I love her. She's the best.

You know, Oprah goes up and down,
but Sally maintains her ideal weight.

Cee Cee, Sally isn't inviting us to
chat up the show.

She just wants us to talk up
that bloody picket line incident.

Maxwell, Maxwell, Maxwell, she isn't
going to be the only one with a mike.

I will just paint Nanny Fine
as a disgruntled nut.

Disgruntled nut? That could work.

Well, maybe we should go. I suppose
I could try some damage control.

Maxwell, leave it to me.
I can fix anything.

You can fix anything? Cee Cee, there is
a billboard in Town Square that says "Boopcock."

Where's Steadman?

That's "Oprah." This is "Sally."
/ Oh.

Five, four, three, two ...

Well, today we have
the producers of "Norma,"

which opened on Broadway yesterday
to rave reviews, I might add.

So I told you you were worried
about nothing.

Max, isn't it ironic that you are producing
a play that is pro-union

and yet you were photographed dragging an employee
across the picket line? / I know. I know.

Oh, would you look at
the size of that picture.

I wonder how much it would
cost to get that framed.

Well, Sally, first of all, I,
I want to go on record

as saying that "Norma" employs nearly
union members. / Oh, oh, oh ...

Nanny Fine is a disgruntled nut.

Oh, look, my name's on TV.

Well, look at who we have here.

Fran Fine, the nanny.
/ Hi, Sally.

Why don't you join them on stage?
/ Oh, no, I couldn't --

oh, well, for the people.

Why don't you move over,
Miss Boopcock ...

Max, did you know that
there was a strike?

Well, no, of course not, Sally.

But what was I supposed to do?
Everyone was already inside.

I mean, cast members,
celebrities, the press.

I called Beef Steak Charlies.
They don't have a booth for .

Wow! That's a lot of important people.
What did you expect him to do, Fran?

Fran? Fran?

Oh, I'm sorry. Well, you know,
I understood why he crossed the picket line.

Why can't he understand
why I couldn't?

I, I thought we were supposed to back
each other up no matter what?

Oh, so I'm just supposed to play
along with everything you say?

Well, apparently I'm supposed to play
along with everything you say./ Now --

Hold it folks. / What -- Max, what are we
really talking about here? I mean in one word.

Support. / Good. Fran, in one word.

One word? Good bloody luck.

Hey, mister they had to turn the music
on to get you off the stage at the Tony Awards ...

Kids, Maxwell, will you at least concede
that perhaps you could have been a little bit

more sympathetic to Fran's feelings
on the picket line?

Well, I suppose I ...
maybe ... might?

I missed that, Sally. You're going
to have to send me a transcript.

Well, look,
it was a very important night for me.

You're important to me.
Ergo, I wanted you there.

Ergo? Who's ergo.

Sally, Sally ...
Look, look, girl friend,

didn't you hear what the man just said?
He said you're important to him.

Is that what you said?
/ Yes.

Well, why can't they just communicate?

You know, if we were running the world,
there'd be no wars; right, girls?

Right, right. Right. Because,

because there'd be so much bloody talk,
there'd be no time for the w*r;
isn't that true, gentleman?

Whoof! Whoof! Whoof!
Whoof! Whoof! Whoof!

Boy, that Sally is
one fantastic interviewer.

She gets things out of you that
you didn't even know were there.

That tax shelter where you hid all that money,
I don't know how that came out.

Well, well, it wasn't
a total disaster.

It seems our appearance shamed the hotel
into settling with the busboys.

Oh, that makes me feel good because,
you know, they work so hard,

and all they really needed was to be
treated with a little human dignity.

I thought you'd like that.
They settled for $ . an hour.

What? For bringing water that
you have to ask times for,

and then they take your plate
before you're through.

Well, then, you know they're
eating it in the back.

Oh, Niles, we are going to have
to get organized. We're being exploited.

Amen! Would you like some fois gras?
/ Nah. I've had it up to here with Beluga.

Yes, life is tough, isn't it, folks?

He should only walk a mile in my shoes.

Oh, Miss Fine, you can't walk
a mile in your shoes. / Aha!

Humm, humm, humm, humm, humm, humm
... a blouse ...

humm, humm, humm, humm, humm,
humm, humm, humm, humm.

Oh, Sally is very classy.

The way she handled those
bisexual Siamese twins ...

I'll tell you, Geraldo really
sensationalized it,

but Sally handled it with a plumb.

That's aplomb, Miss Fine.

No, it was a plumb.

What the devil does bisexual Siamese
twins have to do with the plumb?

It was pretty amazing.
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