♪ Come and listen to my
story 'bout a man named Jed
♪ A poor mountaineer
barely kept his family fed
♪ And then one day he
was sh**ting at some food
♪ And up through the
ground come a-bubbling crude
♪ Oil, that is ♪
Black gold Texas tea
♪ Well, the first thing you
know old Jed's a millionaire
♪ The kinfolk said "Jed,
move away from there"
♪ Said "California's
the place you oughta be"
♪ So they loaded up the
truck and they moved to Beverly
♪ Hills, that is
♪ Swimming pools Movie stars ♪
The Beverly Hillbillies.
Wow. Oh, man.
Oh!
[LAUGHS]
Chief! This is shocking.
I know what you're looking at
in those viewers. Girlie pictures.
Va-va-va-voom!
Would you look at that.
That's a quarter of
a million in pure gold.
I picked these up
at the bankers' stag.
- [KNOCKING]
- Mr. Drysdale, Miss Jane.
Mr. Clampett, come in,
come in. How are you?
I'm feeling frisky as
a new-shorn sheep.
Wonderful. When
you're happy, I'm happy.
Miss Hathaway, give all the
employees a coffee break.
Chief, do you mean
it? A real coffee break?
sh**t the works. Three minutes.
- They'll never forget you for this.
- Now, what can I do for you?
I wanna draw out some money.
Miss Hathaway,
cancel the coffee break.
- How much?
- Oh, just a couple of dollars.
Go ahead with the coffee break.
You see, I gotta get
some things for my new job.
Job? Mr. Clampett,
you don't need a job.
You have 62 million dollars in my
bank and more coming in every day.
That's right, and it
keeps on coming in
whether I'm sitting,
standing or snoring.
- Isn't it wonderful?
- No, it ain't.
A man has gotta earn his
keep in order to be happy.
That's the reason I went down to the,
what you call, department of employment,
and hired myself out for wages.
- You didn't?
- I did.
And they give me something I
think I'm gonna be real good at.
It's outdoors, moving around
a lot, getting a lot of exercise.
What is the job, Mr. Clampett?
Well, all I have to do is ride
around hanging on this truck.
And we go down the street and
we stop next to these big cans
and I just heave 'em up and
empty 'em in the back of the truck.
- Mr. Clampett, you're a...
- Sanitation engineer.
And here's the part
you're gonna like.
They take out for social
security and retirement,
but that still leaves
a pretty big chunk
that's going right in
your bank every week.
- Oh, Mr. Clampett.
- I thought that'd cheer you up.
Well, I gotta go pick up
my uniform. Bye, now.
Chief, the employees want me to express
their gratitude for the coffee break.
[PLAYS NOTE]
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow
For he's a jolly good fellow
- ♪ For he's a jolly...
- Will you shut up?
My largest depositor just
became a garbageman.
I called you right away, John.
With Mr. Clampett holding
the lease on your largest oilfield,
I knew you'd
want to talk to him.
No, I already have a garbageman.
Stop joking. I could become
the laughing stock of Beverly Hills.
Oh, calm down, Milburn.
The man just wants
to do something useful.
All that's necessary is to
come up with a different job.
I knew you'd have the
answer. When can he start?
Hold it. Hold on. I respect
Mr. Clampett a great deal.
There's nothing for him to do at
O.K. Oil. What about the bank?
The last time he worked there,
he had the bank buy $3,000
worth of Girl Scout cookies.
I thought we'd never get
our money out of that deal.
I felt so silly standing on a corner
wearing a Girl Scout uniform.
How do you think I felt in mine?
Milburn, you should
put Mr. Clampett in a job
that sounds useful but
doesn't contribute anything.
- Something unimportant.
- I have it. The board of directors.
- Miss Hathaway.
- Wait, now. Wait, now.
A directorship on your
board might be just the thing
to keep Mr. Clampett
busy but out of trouble.
My board? Why can't
O.K. Oil take him?
Ah, this is your
problem, Milburn.
As long as Mr. Clampett is happy
and continues to sign my lease,
it doesn't bother me
that he collects garbage.
After all, somebody's
got to do it.
Has Jed come down yet?
Not yet, Granny, but
we's ready for him.
I hope you're proud of your paw,
walking right in and getting hisself
a fine job with the government.
Boy, I wish I worked on
one of them big trucks.
They got a machine on the
back that takes that old trash and...
[MAKES WHIRRING SOUND]
[MAKES CRUSHING SOUND]
Crash! Bang! And
that's the end of it.
- [KNOCKING]
- I'll get it.
- Hello, Jethro.
- Howdy, Miss Jane.
You're just in time
to see Uncle Jed off.
- Hi, Mr. Drysdale, Mr. Brewster.
- Jethro.
- How are you?
- Fine.
Ain't it wonderful
about Jed's new job?
Yes, I'll bet he'll
have his hands full.
I didn't mean his hands full. I
mean he'll be up to his neck in...
Uh, uh, well... Here he comes.
- Lookee there.
- Ain't he something?
Seeing a man in uniform always
did make my heart b*at a little faster.
Howdy, folks.
Now, you two go fetch the
truck. I don't want Jed to be late.
This calls for a celebration.
I'm gonna break open
my jug and some glasses.
- You can help me, Miss Jane.
- All right, Granny.
Not for me, Granny. I'm
going on duty, you know.
Mr. Clampett, I've been thinking
about the job on that truck.
Yes?
I don't quite know
how to say this,
but sometimes people
take jobs only to find out
they should have taken jobs
other than the jobs they have.
- And, well...
- I think I know what you're gonna say.
- You do?
- And stop worrying.
I know I can get you a
place on the truck with me.
No, I didn't mean... I...
- Try the board of directors.
- What?
Mr. Drysdale has something
he wants to ask you.
- Now, wait, John.
- What is it, Mr. Drysdale?
Well, it's...
[WHISPERS] Mr. Clampett, how would
you like a job as a director for O.K. Oil?
I already got a job. I'm
what you call a sanitation...
I know.
But this is for your dear
friend John Brewster.
How come he didn't ask me?
It's not easy for a man like
John to come begging for help.
Things that bad down
at the oil company?
Just say yes. Please.
I don't rightly know what a
director does, but if he needs me...
So, what's the decision? Are
you on the board of directors?
- You betcha, Mr. Brewster.
- Wonderful.
That's what friends is for.
And just as quick as
I turn in my uniform,
I'm going to work for O.K. Oil.
Gentlemen.
Don't worry, John. Mr. Clampett
will be here any minute.
That's what worries me.
I've already got a new director who's
on my back because of falling profits.
Now you've given me Jed
Clampett to shove down his throat.
Just tell him Mr. Clampett
owns your biggest oil field.
Well, that doesn't make him
director material to E.W. Brachner.
- Tough, huh?
- They call him The Wolverine.
Good morning, Mr. Brachner.
Nice having you with us.
That's what you think.
Morning, neighbor.
- Are you addressing me?
- Yes, sir. My name is Clampett.
I'm here to start work, but I didn't
know exactly what I'd be doing,
so I brung all my tools.
I don't know where you
belong, man. Try down the hall.
Oh, thank you. I will.
That's Brachner. He flew in on
the company plane an hour ago.
Well, good luck, John.
I'll be leaving now.
No, no, no. You
got me into this.
Now you're going to stick
around for the fireworks.
Morning, gentlemen.
As you know, I called
this special meeting
to elect a new
director to the board.
I... I only hope the meeting will be
better than the coffee we just had.
[LAUGHS]
Mr. Drysdale of the Commerce
Bank will be sitting in with us today.
Who is this new
director? Where is he?
- Well, actually...
- [BANGING]
I hope the noise
ain't bothering you.
I seen this loose carpeting here
and I didn't want nobody to trip.
Well, howdy,
Mr. Brewster, Mr. Drysdale.
I been wandering around
here like a cow in a cornfield
looking for something to do.
Gentlemen, our... our new
candidate for the board of directors.
And so, gentlemen, by virtue of the
large part Mr. Clampett has played
in the success of O.K. Oil,
I propose that he be elected
to the board of directors.
Hear, hear!
- May we have the vote?
- Just a moment.
I can appreciate the fact that Mr. Clampett
owns some valuable real estate.
But if I may speak candidly,
it does not qualify him to be a director
of a multifaceted industrial complex.
Mr. Clampett, would
you please tell me
what positions you
have held in the past?
Well, yesterday I was
a sanitation engineer.
- What kind of engineer?
- Oh, that's working on a truck.
Collecting table scraps,
leftovers and such.
He's a garbageman.
I'm not electing him to
my board of directors.
Mr. Brachner, he
has 62 million dollars.
He does?
Well, any garbageman who
can collect 62 million dollars
has to have
something on the ball.
Say, I've got something
here I think you'll enjoy.
Va-va-va-voom!
Gentlemen, may we
have the vote, please?
All those who favor Mr. Clampett's
election to the board of directors,
raise their hands.
Mr. Brachner.
Oh, yes, yes, by all means.
- Congratulations, Mr. Clampett.
- Well, thank you. Thank you.
Well, now that I'm a director, can
I get back to the loose carpeting?
No, no, Mr. Clampett.
That'll be taken care of.
We need you for
more important things.
Well, that's what
I'm here for, to help.
Good. Just have a seat.
Oh. howdy, Paw.
We come to watch.
- Uncle Jed, you directing yet?
- Sure am, young 'uns.
Say, I'd like you to
meet these nice folks.
- Where's Granny?
- Here I am.
Somebody ought to fix
that loose carpet down.
I hate to say I told you so.
- How do you do, Granny?
- Howdy.
What's everybody slicked up
for? Is it a wedding or a funeral?
This is the board
of directors, Granny.
- I was just elected unanimous.
- Good.
I got a whole basket of
celebrating victuals for you.
Hey, grouchy, how would
you like a pickled hawk egg?
Them directors must have
been right upset about something.
They hardly touched my victuals.
I know what's
bothering 'em, Granny.
The O.K. Oil Company
can't find no new wells.
Well, don't tell 'em about
the one in our backyard.
Hey, I plumb forgot about that.
Remember when I was
digging that root cellar?
I swung that old pick and,
pow, there was oil everywhere.
I hope you ain't gonna
unplug the hole, Paw.
Well, Elly, a friend's in trouble,
and I'm on the board of directors now.
Could be we might have to.
- I got the keys for the chain.
- I got the clippers.
Well, Mr. Brewster or not, I was hoping
that oil would give up and went away.
Know just how you feel,
Granny, but we got to look.
Here comes the plug.
It's gone. The oil is gone.
It's a dry well!
It's a dry well!
It's gone!
[GURGLING]
[SOFT THUD]
Well, there it is, another
dad-blasted fortune.
What do you mean,
you can't find that leak?
That pipeline's been losing 30
barrels an hour for the past two hours.
Yes, I know, but here the line
goes under the city of Beverly Hills,
and it would be
almost impossible to...
CLAMPETTS: Surprise!
ALL: Surprise! Surprise!
Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!
- It's them again.
- Let me out of here.
Oh, it's gonna spill!
Mr. Brewster, we brought you a
present. Your oil troubles is over.
Well, this is crude.
I know, but we had to put
it in anything we could find.
And there's plenty more
where this come from.
Well, exactly where
did it come from?
Well, I'd rather not
tell, but it's real handy.
You might say right
in my own backyard.
Mr. Clampett, how many barrels an
hour is this well of yours producing?
Well, I don't know, but in a
couple of minutes it'll fill up a churn,
a cheese crock, a milk
pail and three fruit jars.
Well, you live here on
Crestview Drive, don't you?
- Yes, sir.
- Mr. Clampett, this is my oil.
That's right, it's all yours.
And we don't want no thanks for it
and, if you can arrange it, no money.
Well, that's, uh, uh... Well, that's
very kind of you, Mr. Clampett.
You better find where to
empty these, Uncle Jed.
Yeah, we wanna
fill 'em up again.
Well, ordinarily it would go down
to the refinery here in Long Beach.
All right, family, grab your
oil and try not to spill none.
You can come out now,
gentlemen. I... I found the leak.
Milburn, regardless of
how it makes them feel,
I have got to tell the
Clampetts the truth.
That oil they're giving
me is from my pipeline.
Please, John, don't tell them.
I'll... I'll jump out of the car.
Oh, sit down, Milburn, sit down.
All right, you keep them away
from the place long enough
for my men to fix that
leak, I won't say anything.
Thank you, John.
I'll think of a way.
Get busy, Miss Hathaway.
Well, we could send them out
in the O.K. Oil Company plane
to look for new oil fields.
John, I have it.
We could send them off in
the O.K. Oil Company plane
to look for new oil fields.
- Brilliant.
- Thank you.
You're welcome.
How much longer we gonna
fly these VIPs around in circles?
Mr. Brewster said he'd
need at least three hours.
Something about
getting a pipeline patched.
Well, then what?
Then we do whatever they
wanna do, when they wanna do it.
Just keep 'em happy.
I ain't gonna fly, Jed,
and you can't make me.
I ain't got wings, feathers or a beak,
and you ain't getting me off the ground.
Granny, I keep trying to tell
you, we are off the ground.
We been flying for a half hour.
Yeah, we must be
15,000 feet in the air.
We is high up.
Look at that little cow down
there. He ain't no bigger 'an a ant.
Granny, that is a
ant on your window.
I sure don't see no oil fields.
Heck, you wouldn't know an oil field
if it come up and bit you on the nose.
Would you?
Well, no.
What a wild-goose
chase that was.
We was up in that plane for
hours without seeing a slew.
Sure hated to give up,
but I been looking through
those spyglasses for so long,
it felt like we was
going around in circles.
Well, at least you
found one well.
Jed, it's dried up.
Sure has petered out.
Dry as a mouthful of cotton.
Poor Mr. Brewster. We got him
all excited over a flash in the pan.
What are you gonna say to him?
I don't know, but
I hate to tell him
that this well has turned out to be
a duster and we ain't found another.
Maybe you can think of something
else to make money for his company.
I already started
studying on it.
Hey, Uncle Jed, let's
get back on that plane.
Jethro, hush up.
Can't you see your Uncle
Jed is studying on something?
But I found this book
about fliers and flying.
All about fellas like
Rickenbacker and Lindberg...
Jethro, hush up!
But I wanna get back
up there and learn how,
so I can get me some paying passengers
and earn me some spending money.
Jethro, will you be quiet?
Can't you see you're making so
much noise your Uncle Jed can't think?
- Hush up a minute.
- I told him to.
Not him. You.
The boy's got the answer.
I do?
That whole company
plane is going to waste.
We could take on passengers
and make the O.K. Oil
Company a barnful of money.
John, what's this all about?
You pulled me out of a meeting.
We haven't a moment
to lose. It's the Clampetts.
I thought they were
in your company plane.
That's the trouble. The airport director
called me and they're selling tickets.
- To go anywhere in the world.
- Oh, no.
Now, wait a minute.
How many have they sold?
Who knows?
On top of that, Brachner's
on his way out to the plane
expecting to be flown
back to New York.
Howdy.
I'll have this nailed
down before you know it.
Welcome aboard the O.K.
Airlines. Just sit down anywhere.
Thank you.
Excuse me. Uh, we're
supposed to sit on benches?
Yes, sir. We can carry
more folks that way.
Well, at least I can
take it to Albuquerque.
- You're flying to Albuquerque?
- That's right.
- Where are you going?
- Bombay, India.
Bombay?
I wonder why they put
us on the same plane?
It's a strange route.
Maybe it's one of those
special tourist deals.
Well, all I know is my
ticket cost only ten bucks.
So did mine.
Ten bucks to India?
Yeah. Round trip.
They must know
what they're doing.
Well, at least they hire
pretty stewardesses.
- Hmm?
- Well, didn't you see her?
A real luscious doll.
In the little cap.
You know... You know, buddy, you
have a... a strange taste in women.
What's going on here?
What have you
done to this plane?
Now, listen, grouchy,
we're letting you ride free
on account of you're a director,
but you gotta sit down and be quiet.
- What's this?
- This is Jed's idea.
In case we hit a bump.
There. That ought to hold you.
That's a granny knot.
I think this entire O.K. Oil
Company is a commie plot.
Get ready. We's gonna take off.
Is these all the
tickets you sold, Elly?
Afraid so.
Well, it'll take us a little
while before we get known.
But in the meantime
we gotta be on schedule.
Uh, say, are you
the pilot of this thing?
No, I'm the co-pilot.
One of the VIPs who thought
of this offered to sit in for me.
Yeah. What kind
of a flier is he?
Strange. Real strange.
This here's your
co-captain, Jethro Bodine.
We's taking off for New York,
Albuquerque, and Bombay, India.
We's gonna be flying at a altitude
of about... well, real high, anyway.
I hope you enjoy
your flight. Oh, yeah.
You know, John, the
Clampetts might have something.
That plane holds, what,
ten or so, comfortably.
At 300 dollars a sh*t, we
could make a fortune by...
John? What's the matter, John?
That's the O.K. Oil Company...
airplane!
Yee-ha!
What are you doing?
I just stepped on the clutch
and shifted into second.
That's the throttle
and that's the rudder.
I thought you said
you had your wings.
I do. See here? Says
Captain Midnight.
- Oh, no.
- Yee-ha!
Yee-ha!
Those ropes were
sure a good idea, Jed.
Yeah, well, this might be a good
time to offer up the free drinks.
All right, passengers, we is
gonna serve you free drinks.
Now, you got your choice
of coffee, tea, buttermilk...
or hot mouth.
Who's flying this thing?
I think y'all better
have hot mouth.
- I wanna turn back.
- Me too.
I think we'd better spring
our special bonus attraction.
Right. Now you're
in for a special treat.
Something you probably
didn't count on at these prices.
- Are you ready, Jed?
- JED: Ready, Granny.
All right, hit it!
[CHEERY MUSIC]
Here you are. We've
been out of our minds.
- Are you all right?
- Sure.
For some reason the fella
who was going to Bombay
decided to get off
at Albuquerque.
What about Mr. Brachner?
Did you land him in New York?
- Nope.
- Oh, no.
He liked the service so well,
he bought a round-trip ticket.
It weren't the service. It
was my rheumatiz medicine.
- Rheumatiz medicine?
- [SLURRED SINGING]
- Mr. Brachner.
- Oh.
Oh, it's... It's good to be
back in New York, gentlemen.
A fine flight.
Oh, take a peek at this, buddy.
Va-va-va-voom!
♪ Well, now it's time to say
goodbye to Jed and all his kin
♪ They would like to thank
you folks for kindly dropping in
♪ You're all invited back
next week to this locality
♪ To have a heaping
helping of their hospitality
♪ Hillbilly, that is
♪ Set a spell Take
your shoes off ♪
Y'all come back now, you hear?
ELLY: This has been a
Filmways presentation.