02x06 - Vacation From Marriage

[bunniefuu]

Morning, Lucy.

Oh, hey!

I'll be right there, Ethel.

What did you lock the door for?

I almost broke my neck.

I just wanted to see what would
happen

if I did something different for a
change.

What are you talking about?

Life.

I've just been thinking about life.

Ethel, Ricky and I are in a terrible
rut.

What do you mean?

Everything has become routine.

We do the same dull thing every day.

We see the same dull people.

Thanks a lot.

I didn't mean you.

It's just that nothing new ever
happens.

Why, I can tell everything Ricky's
going to say and do

before he does it.

Ah, can you?

Wait till he wakes up.
You'll see.

He'll call, "Hey, Lucy, is the coffee
percolated yet?"

Then he'll come into the kitchen half
asleep

looking like a zombie...

stagger over to the stove...

say, "Oh, I could have slept all
day..."

scratch his leg while he pours some
coffee for himself...

kiss the air in my general
direction...

stagger off into the bedroom.

It isn't funny, Ethel.

It's tragic.

I know it is.

You know, I just realized

I can do exactly the same thing with
Fred.

I'll bet you can.

Right now

he's sitting down with the morning
paper

to do the crossword puzzle.

So he'll call to me...

Ethel!

He hasn't varied five minutes in
years.

I'm up here, Fred!

He won't find his glasses up here.

Oh, yes, he will.

They'll be on top of his head.

You're kidding.

And when I tell him, he'll say

"Hmm. If they'd been a snake,

they'd a bit me."

He hasn't been saying the same thing

for years?

...

Hi.

Well, you're in a jolly mood this
morning.

Ethel, have you seen

my glasses?

Well, it must be hilarious

that I can't read without my glasses.

Oh, it's not that, Fred.

It's just that...

What a sense of humor.

I'll go break my leg and give you a
real laugh.

Ah, wait a minute, Fred.

Your glasses are on top of your head.

Huh? Well, how do you like that?

If they'd been a snake, they'd a bit
me.

Lucy!

Lucy, is the coffee percolated yet?

I could have slept all day.

It's fantastic, Lucy.

Ricky and Fred are cut out of the
same mold.

Yeah, and they're getting moldier all
the time.

What are we going to do about them?

Them? What about us?
We're just as bad as they are.

We've all let ourselves become four
big, dull clunks.

You know, I think you're right.

Sure, I'm right.

And tonight, instead of playing
canasta,

we're going to sit down

and figure out the quickest way to
de-clunk ourselves.

Do you all realize that we're in a
terrible rut?

In a rut?

What are you talking about?

The four of us have allowed ourselves

to deteriorate.

Yeah.

We have become stuffy, moldy, and
musty.

We are knee-deep in a pool of
stagnation.

Now, what are we going to do about
it?

Well, I don't know about the rest of
you,

but I'm going to go and take a
shower.

Never mind being funny.

Now, sit down.

We're serious.

We certainly are.

Our lives have become a stale
routine.

We do the same thing in the same way.

We know each other like a book.

Well, honey, that's only normal.

After you're married for years,

you're supposed to know each other
like a book.

It's the same after years,

only the cover gets more dog-eared.

Listen, the kind of routine we're in
is not normal.

Now, Ethel and I went down to the
library this afternoon

and we found a lot of books

on the subject.

And?

And the books all agree.

This one states it as well as any.

"There are times when married couples

let their lives fall into set
patterns."

That's exactly what's happened to us.

Right.

"The only thing to do in a case like
this

"is for the marital partners

to spend some time away from each
other."

What?

Please.

"Change your whole way of living.

"Take a week's vacation from marriage

"and don't even see your husband or
wife.

"Vacation from marriage

will give you both a whole new
perspective."

So?

So Ethel and I are going to spend a
week away

from you and Fred.

You mean I won't see you for a whole
week?

That's right.

And you won't see me

for a whole week, Fred.

Well, I'll make the sacrifice.

Come on.
Are you crazy or something?

What are you going to do, leave town?

No, not necessarily.

I'll go downstairs and live with
Ethel.

Fred can come up here and live with
you,

and we'll just lead our own lives.

We just won't see each other, that's
all.

Isn't this going to be fun?

We can sleep as late as we want to

go shopping, call up our old
girlfriends.

Yeah, we'll be just a couple of
bachelor girls.

I don't like the sound of this whole
thing.

Now, wait a minute, Rick.

You don't understand.

If they're going to be bachelor
girls,

we're bachelor boys.

Hey, that's right.

You might have something at that in
there.

Yeah.

Well, good-bye, Fred.

Good-bye, Ethel.

Good-bye, Ricky.

Good-bye.
I'll be seeing you.

Well, Lucy, what do we do tonight?

Oh, I don't care.

What do you want to do?

How about going to a movie?

Again? We've been to five movies
already this week.

Well, it's Saturday night

and I don't feel like staying home.

Well, neither do I.

Maybe we can call somebody.

Who?

We called up all our old girlfriends.

They're all married.

Yeah.

They'll all be with their husbands

on Saturday night.

Yeah, they're all in that awful rut
we used to be in.

Yeah.

They don't know what fun it is

to be on their own like us.

Yippee.

Ethel...

Huh?

Well, nothing personal, but...

I'm sick of the sight of your face.

Well, you should try it from out here
looking at yours.

If you think this has been any...

All right, all right.

Let's not fight among ourselves.

We're all we've got.

How true.

Gee, I wonder what the boys are doing
tonight.

I wonder.

Ethel, let's swallow our pride

and go up and admit that we miss the
big dopes.

Oh, no, Lucy.

They'd never let us hear the end of
it.

No?

I know what we should do.

What?

We should get all dressed up

like we're going out on a mad date,

and then we should go up and I should
say

that I want to get some of my good
perfume.

Yeah, then what?

Well, then when they see us all
dressed up

and they think we're going out,

they'll get insanely jealous

and they'll demand that we go out
with them.

Fred get insanely jealous?

Listen, if they're as bored as we
are,

we'll even look good to them.

Now, come on, let's get dressed.

Well, there's no new movies.

We've seen them all.

You know something, Fred?

I hate to admit this,

but I'd like to see Lucy tonight.

I can top that.

I'd like to see Ethel.

You know, if there was only some way

that we could ask them

without they thinking

that we really miss them.

What could that be?

Good evening.

Oh, hello.

I'm sorry to barge in like this,

but I wondered if I could get some of
my good perfume.

Why, sure. Come in.
Won't you?

Come right in.

Gee, don't you look pretty.

Thank you.

You, too, Ethel.

Thank you, Frederick.

We were just talking about you.

You were?

You were?!

Um, I hope you boys are going to have

as gay an evening as we are.

Oh, yes.

We've been invited to for dinner.

Oh, Ethel, again?

That's what the boys said-- .

Oh, dear.

Well, we mustn't be late.

I better get the perfume.

Pardon me, please.

You, uh...

you two really been living it up,
huh?

Oh, yes.

We've been to four times this
week.

That's .

Well, come on, Ethel.

So long, boys.

So long.

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Sorry we have to rush off like this.

Ethel, promise me something, will
you?

Um, let's be sensible tonight.

Let's get in before : a.m.

Okay, I promise.

Okay.

Well, so long, boys.

So long, girls.

We could stay and chat

for just a little while.

No. We'll be late.

You understand how it is.

Yeah, we know how it is.

We have dates ourselves.

Don't we, Fred?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh.

Well, so long.

Well, how do you like it here at ?

Très gay.

Where do you suppose the boys went?

I told you times.

It's as plain as the nose on your
face.

They didn't have any place to go.

They just said that

because they thought we were going
out.

Now, let's hear no more about it,
shall we?

Okay.

Okay.

You think I'm right, don't you?

I don't know.

I wish I could be sure.

I'd sleep a lot better

if I knew they were safely up there

worrying about us.

Come on.

Where?

We're going sneak up the back way

and peek in our apartment.

Once we know the boys are there,

I think we'll sleep a lot better.

Hey, Rick, why don't you come on to
bed.

You go to sleep, Fred.

Don't worry about me.

I'm not.

The slap of the cards

keeps me awake.

Fred, you're just as worried as I am,

aren't you?

You know something, Rick?

I bet they didn't go out with anybody
at all.

They're just faking.

Yeah, well, I tried

to talk myself into that one too.

No, I mean it.

If they had had a date,

they wouldn't have come up here

and made such a big to-do about it.

Yeah. Ethel did kind of sort of want

to stick around and chat, didn't she?

You know something,

I bet if we went down there right now

and rang the bell, they'd answer it.

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

If we go down there and ring the bell

they'd know that we didn't have any
dates.

Let's go ring the bell

and then hide around the corner.

Yeah, and if they answer,

we know it's them.

Right.

Let's go. Come on.

Oh, Ethel, I was wrong.

They're not in there.

I guess they did have dates.

Oh, where do you suppose they are?

I don't know.

Go on.
Let's go back downstairs.

Let's not go down the back way.

It's too cold.

Fine thing.

They're out someplace having the time
of their lives.

How did I know they really had
dates?

That's them.
It's the boys.

They're coming upstairs.

Come on, down the back way.

Oh. It's locked.

Where do we go?

The roof.

The roof?

I just want to know who they went out
with.

Yeah, so do I.

Well, I'm going to find out too.

How?

Well, I'm going to stay right here

and when I hear someone come in,

I'll look down and see who Lucy's
with.

I'm a little bit curious too.

Let's sit down here.
Come on.

We'll wait right here.

Lucy, take another look.

Darn it, the watchdogs are still
there.

Oh, why don't they go on inside?

I'm getting cold.

Gee, me too.

It's pretty windy up here, isn't it?

Oh, this is ridiculous.

I'm going downstairs.

Ethel, where's your pride?

I don't know, but wherever it is,
it's frozen.

Now, listen.
Just stay in here.

It isn't so windy in here.

Now, let's just wait a few more
minutes.

Okay. That's long enough.

Lucy, it's stuck.

Let me try it.

Ethel, this isn't stuck.

It's locked from the inside.

Oh, fine. What do we do now?

Pound on it.
Pound on the door.

Ricky?

Fred?

Ricky?

Fred?
Open the door!

Oh, why don't they come up and open
the door?

You'll be glad to know

they finally gave up and went inside.

Fine. What do we do now?

I don't know.

I'm getting cold.

So am I.

And I'm tired too.

Ethel?

Ethel, this isn't getting us
anyplace.

We got to... we got to...
we got to be brave.

Yeah. We've got to get hold of
ourselves.

Yeah. We got to keep a stiff upper
lip.

We got to find some way

to attract someone's attention down
on the street.

How?

I don't know.

I know.

What?

One of us could jump off

and... and then a crowd would collect

and then she could tell the people

that I was up here.

I hope you don't think I'm a bum
sport,

but let's think up another way.

Oh, look. There's a light

in that apartment across the alley.

Oh, that's Mrs. Sanders.

I know her.

Mrs. Sanders!

Yoo-hoo!

Yoo-hoo!
Mrs. Sanders!

Mrs. Sanders!

She can't hear us.

The windows are closed.

We got to attract her attention.

How?

Here.

That wasn't far enough.

That was far enough.

Too bad it wasn't Mrs. Sanders'
window.

Oh, darn it.

She turned off the light and went in
the other room.

Oh, boy. That was a big waste of
time.

No, it wasn't.

The exercise kind of warmed me up.

Well, what do we do now?

Ethel!

What?

Our troubles are over.

Come here.
Give me a hand.

Give you a hand?

Help me move this.

Move it where?

Look out, now.

Let it fall right there.

Then what?

Right there.

Push.

Push?

Push.

Push hard.

There.

There.

Put that box over here.

Put the other one on top of it.

There!

There what?

Yeah?

We walk across there, and, and...

and go down the stairs in the other
building.

You mean walk across the board

five flights up?

Certainly.

Oh, no. Oh, no.

You do it.

Listen, Ethel.

I've already done all the hard work.

I thought it up.

Now, all you have to do

is just tippy-toe across the board.

Oh, no.

Listen, why don't you think of this
board

as a foot off the ground

instead of five flights up? Huh?

Then it will be a cinch.

If it's such a cinch, you do it.

All right.

Good girl!

Uh, come on.

Who me? Oh, no, Lucy.

I'm afraid to do it.

There's nothing to it.

Really. Come on.

Will you help me?

It's easy. Yeah.

Come on. It's safe.

Come on.

Come on.

Don't!

Don't look down!
Don't look down!

Don't look down.

Am I getting there, Lucy?

Yeah.

Am I almost there?

Yeah.

Wonder what time it is.

I wonder what year it is.

Oh! Ethel, it's raining.

Oh, fine.

Of all the things, it has to rain
too.

Oh, Lucy...

Look.

It isn't raining out there.

You see the pave..?

Ricky!

How did you get up there?

Same way you did.

How did you know we were up here?

Mrs. Sanders across the street
phoned.

Well, what happened to your dates?

What happened to your dates?

Never mind that.

This whole thing

was your idea.

Well, it was a lousy idea.

I don't like having a vacation from
marriage.

I want to be in a rut with you.

And I want to be in a rut with you.