02x08 - Redecorating

[bunniefuu]

Hi, Rick.

Oh, hiya, Fred.

Is Ethel up here?

No. She went out with Lucy.

They went to the home show.

Oh... no.

Why do they have to go and look at
those model homes,

stuffed with all that fancy
furniture?

It'll only make them unhappy.

I know.

Last year Lucy went to the home show.

When she got home,

she said all of our old furniture
gave her the hives.

It was two weeks

before Ethel could walk into our
living room

without bursting into tears.

When I told Lucy that she couldn't
redecorate,

she cried all night.

Well, let's face it,

we're in for another session with the
Sobbsy twins.

I don't know, Fred.

I got a surprise that might, uh, take
their minds off of it.

Yeah?

I managed to get four seats

for the new Rodgers and Hammerstein
show

tomorrow night.

Oh, boy!
Four of them!

Hi, honey.

Hi, Ethel.

Ugh!

It's even worse than I remembered.

Hey, hey, honey, I got a wonderful
surprise for you.

Sit down, will you?

Sit down?

On that?

How could anyone possibly sit on
that?

Well, honey, it's easy.

You stand up here like this, and you
bend your knees,

and there you are, huh?

Comfortable?

No, no. It's so dirty,

and the-and the springs are lumpy,

and it's... oh...
it's repulsive.

And that desk and that tired, old
lamp,

and that chair... oh!

You think this is bad?

I have to go down and look at our
apartment.

Never mind. Never mind.

It all stays as is.

But our furniture looks crummy.

It looks crummy because it is crummy.

But it's all paid for, so forget it.

Yeah, and that goes for our stuff,
too.

Ricky, you don't really expect

me to live...

I cannot spend one more penny...

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

Wait a minute!

Ethel, what are we going through this
for?

We're going to get our furniture.

Oh, yes, I forgot.

What is this?

Look out for a trick.

It's no trick.

The home show is having a big drawing

and the winners are each getting

five rooms of beautiful furniture

absolutely free.

Yes.

Oh. And you two put your names down?

That's right. Yes.

Oh, well, Fred, help me get this junk
out of the way

before the new furniture arrives.

Excuse me.

Go ahead, make fun.

You're going to feel pretty silly
when we win.

Now, look, honey,

sit down, will you?

Hmm!

Force yourself.

Now, look, listen to me, will you?

Do you know how many people

put their names down on a thing like
that?

Yes, I do.

Do you know that your chances are one
in a million?

A lot you know.

We each made out a hundred cards.

Our chances are one in , .

Now, look, let's forget the whole
thing, huh?

We will until they call us and tell
us that we won.

All right, all right.

Now, in the meantime,

I got some real good news for you.
What?

Well, I managed to get four seats

for the opening of a new musical
tomorrow night.

Not the Rodgers and Hammerstein show?

Right.

Oh, honey, how wonderful.

Ricky, that's wonderful!

Uh-oh.

What's the matter, Lucy?

We can't go out tomorrow night.

Why not?
What do you mean you can't go out?

They might call us from the home
show.

So what?
They'll call you back.

Oh, no, they won't.

You have to be home when they call.

Now, look, honey, you know how tough
it is

to get seats for an opening night,

and this is Rodgers and Hammerstein.

I'm sorry, dear. It's out of the
question.

I'm not leaving this house

until the home show drawing is over,
and that's final.

Hey, Fred. Gee, I'm glad you stopped
by.

I wanted to see you.

Hey, Rick.
What are you doing around here

this early in the morning?

Well, I had a bunch of business calls
to make

and Lucy won't let me use the phone.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

We may as well forget about that
opening night.

Well, I don't know, Fred.

I got a plan on how to get Lucy and
Ethel

out of the house tonight.

How?

Make them think that one of them won
the prize.

What?

Well, look, we know that they haven't
got a chance anyway.

So all we have to do

is one of us has to get to the phone,

call Lucy and tell her that she won
the prize.

And then make sure that you hang up

before she recognizes your voice.

Wait a minute.

Why should I be the one to call?

Well, Fred, I'd be glad to do it,

I'd love to do it,

but she'd recognize my accent in a
minute.

You're going to use an accent?

Never mind.

Now, will you call her?

Well, okay, okay.

Well, go ahead; there's the phone.

Well, now, wait a minute, wait a
minute.

I got to get up my nerve.

Oh, Hazel, give me a double-chocolate
malted.

I'll see you later.

Hi.

Ethel, what are you doing away from
your phone?

I'm not.

Is it connected?

Yeah. Fred fixed it

so I could go anyplace in the
building.

Where did you ever get such a long
cord?

Well, don't tell the phone company,

but every time anybody moves out of
an apartment,

Fred swipes the extension cord.

Oh. Gee, my phone hasn't rung all
morning.

I wonder if there's anything wrong
with it.

Oh, darn these party lines.

There's always somebody using it.

Well, tell them to get off.

Oh, you know how much good that would
do me.

I've had run-ins with these
characters before.

Well, it's about time she named the
date.

Do you know how long she's been
engaged?

Huh?

years.

years.

I'll believe the marriage when I see
it.

Pardon me, but would you please get
off the phone?

Wait a minute, Agnes.

Miss Big Ears is listening in.

I'm sorry, but the phone is in use.

But this is an emergency.

It's a matter of life and death.

Help, fire!

Help, fire!
Fire!

Help!

Ah, try something new.

Now, what were we saying, Agnes?

Oh... there's no use.

I'll bet the home show's calling me
right now.

Oh, dear.

Hey, I got an idea.

This worked once before.

What?

Now, be quiet.

...absolutely.

What else is new, Agnes?

Oh, so many things.

Boy, have I got dirt to spill.

Go ahead. I'm listening.

Oops, there
goes my doorbell.
I'll have to call you back.

Okay, dear, good-bye.
Okay, good-bye.

There now.

Gee, if it doesn't ring soon for one
of us,

I'm going to be a nervous wreck.

So am I.

All this suspense is making me
hungry.

Well, come on.

Let's go in the kitchen and make a
sandwich.

We can hear the phone from there.

Okay.

Hello? Hello?
Hello? Hello?

It's the home show.

You got my phone.
Hello?

I have not.
This is my phone.

No, that's my phone!

Ethel, that's my phone.

Hello?

Hello? Yes, this is Mrs. Ricardo.

Yes.

I did?

I didn't?

I did?

Oh... oh, thank you so much.

Oh, yes, yes, I'm very thrilled.

Yes. Good-bye.

Ethel, I won!

I won all the furniture!

Gee, that's swell.

And that's for you, you ugly, old
thing.

Oh, Lucy, look what you've done.

You broke off the leg.

I don't care.

I won! I won!

I won all that wonderful furniture.

And you know what I'm going to do
now?
What?

I'm going to get rid of all this
junk.

I'm going to call a secondhand man

and I'm going to have him come over

and I'm going to sell him everything
but the lightbulbs.

Now, that glue ought to hold it.

Help me set it up.

Okay.

You ready?
Mm-hmm.

Oh... boy, will I be glad to get rid
of this junk.

Oh, there he is.

Hide that glue.

Mrs. Ricardo?

Yes.

I'm Dan Jenkins, secondhand furniture
man.

Oh, come right in.

Is this the junk you want to sell?

Junk?

Why, this is fine furniture in
excellent condition.

Yeah...

Yeah, sure.

Hmm.

Hmm...

Ah, ah... oh.

Uh...

This is my neighbor, Mrs. Mertz.

Mr. Jenkins.

How do you do?
How do you do?
How do you do?

Well...

Y-You can see

that everything's practically new.

It's hardly been used at all.

Yeah, I see.

She's right.

Many times I've been up here when
nobody sat down.

Uh-huh.

You see, I wouldn't dream of selling

except that someone's giving us some
new furniture.

Well, uh...
bedroom furniture, too?

Yes, in there.

Ah.

I don't think he likes it, do you?

He just wants us to think that.

You watch-- when he comes out,

he's going to make me a very low
offer

and I'll just get him to go higher
and higher.

You watch.

Mrs. Ricardo...

Yes?

Well, I'll take your furniture.

You will?

Yeah, and I'll give you...

Oh, I shouldn't go this high,

but I took an immediate liking to
you,

so I'll give you $ .

$ ?

Well, you'd better look again, Mr.
Jenkins.

All right, make it $ .

Ninety?!

Oh, that's ridiculous.

Why, this coffee table alone is worth
more than that.

Seventy-five.

I'll take it.

Sign the bill of sale, please.

$ ... $ , $ ...

$ and $ .

Thank you.

I'll have my truck in the
neighborhood this afternoon.

Can I pick up the furniture then?

Oh, well, could you check back?

I'd kind of like to have the new
furniture here before you take this.

All right.

Now, you ladies sure made a sharp
deal.

Getting bucks out of me for all
this broken-down stuff.

Ooh.

Well...

I'll just have to make it up on the
next customer.

Afternoon, ladies.

Good-bye.

Gee, I'm sorry.

Well, it really doesn't matter,

as long as I'm getting the new
furniture for nothing.

Oh.

Gee, you know it's a shame to put all
that new stuff in here

with this old paint and paper.

You know what I'm going to do with
this money?
What?

I'm going to repaint and repaper this
whole dingy apartment.

Oh, Lucy, paper hangers are awful
expensive.

Who needs a paper hanger?

We'll do it ourselves.

We will?

Sure. Come on, let's go downtown

and buy all the paper and stuff.

Okay, I'll get dressed.

Hurry up, now.

There.
Did you get it all?

Is this everything we need?

Yep. Let me see it.

Let me see how it looks here.

Oh, boy! Isn't that pretty?

Isn't it beautiful for a bedroom?

Uh-huh.

It's so dreamy.

Isn't that nice?

Well, let's get started.

By the time we get to the living
room,

we'll be professionals.

We got to measure it.

Now, I got to find out

how much paper there is in each roll.
Okay.

Got to get-- have an idea

of how many we need, you know?

All right.

Okay... there.

That's-that's about it now, I think.
All right.

Put it down here a minute.

Let's see now.

It's about... that high.

Hold it up.

All right.

There.

Now we got to put the paste on it.

All right.

Turn it over.

Lay it down on the floor.

Oh, Lucy, it'll get dirty.

Oh, yeah.

Well, you hold it up in front of you

and I'll put paste on it that way.

All right.
Now be careful.

Ready?
Yeah.

Hold on now.

All right.

Okay.

Keep it moving.
Okay. Okay.

Keep it moving.
All right.

Keep it moving.

Oh, Lucy!

Ethel, I'm sorry.
Oh...

You're on the paper!

I'm sorry, Lucy, but you hit me in
the face with that.

Oh, look what you did.

Well, let's straighten it out.

Wait... wait...

Ethel, we haven't got a lot of paper.

You have to be careful.

Could we use that-that little...?

Oh, Lucy.

This looks like the biggest chunk
here.

Oh... here.

Whoo!

Oh, we can't use this.

We'll have to cut another piece.

All right, put it over here.

Oh, that's a shame.

I got that so pretty, too.

Let's try another one, huh?

All right now.

Be careful now.
I will.

There. Now, that's about it.

There.

Now...

turn it over.

Careful.

Okay.

Oh, no, that didn't work.

Put it down on the floor.

Oh, okay.

There we are.

Yep.

It'll look so pretty up there.

Oh.

Oh, Lucy.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, honey.
Now leave me alone.

Move back.

There now.

Okay.

There now.

Now we got to get it on the wall.

Where?

Right over there in the corner.

Okay, in the corner.

All right. Listen, you'd better come
up here

on this side with me.

All right.

Now be careful.

All right.

Okay?
Ready.

Okay, let's go.

What's the matter with you?

You said over here in the corner.

Well, I meant in this corner!

Oh...!

Now take ahold of it.

Okay.

Now, are you ready?

Now, before we start,

which wall do you want it on?

That wall.

Put it in the middle--

we'll have plenty of room on either
side.

Okay.
Ready?

One, two, three.

Go!

How do you get the slack out?

Not very straight, is it?

No.

Well, look, we can put the rest of it
on at this angle

and then it'll be uniform.

You'll have to hang on the mattress

to keep from falling out of bed.

Mrs. Ricardo, got my van downstairs

ready to pick up my furniture.

Oh, well, uh, my new stuff hasn't
arrived yet.

Oh. Well, I'll call back in the
morning, huh?

Okay. I'll sure be glad to get rid of
this old junk.

Bye.

Bye.

Hi, honey.

Oh, darn.

I'd hoped that you wouldn't get home
until later.

What's going on?

Well, I kind of wanted to surprise
you, but I won.

The home show called, and I won all
the furniture.

Oh, that's nice, yeah, but, uh, what
are you doing?

Well, did you see that man that just
left?

Yeah.

Well, that's Mr. Jenkins

and I sold him all of our furniture
for $ .

And Ethel and I are...
You what?!

What?
You what?!

I said, I sold him all the furniture.

Mr. Jenkins!
Mr. Jenkins!

Mr. Jenkins!

You calling me?

Yeah. Please come back here, Mr.
Jenkins!

Please come back!
Hurry up!

Oh, my goodness.

What's the matter, Ricky?

He gave me $ for all the stuff.

$ for all...?

Oh, no.

Me and my great ideas.

That wasn't the home show calling,

that was Fred.

Fred?

Yeah, Fred.

Ricky, what are you saying?

Well, I thought it was a nice way

to get you out of the house to go to
the opening...

Somebody call me?

Yeah, Mr. Jenkins, come here, would
you please?

I want to talk to you a minute.

Here, sit down, won't you?

This is a nice chair here.

Sit down, Mr. Jenkins.

Sit down here a minute.

Listen, Mr. Jenkins...

Listen... there's been a terrible
mistake.

It's all my stupidity.

You see, my wife didn't win the prize
at all,

and, you see, I thought...

Uh, I want to get the furniture back.

Oh, fine, that's okay by me.

Thank you.
Give me the $ , will you, honey?

What's the matter, honey?

I spent the money for the wallpaper.

Oh. Well, I'll give you the $ .

Hey, just a minute, Mr. Ricardo.

I'll be glad to sell you this stuff,

but certainly you don't expect to get
three rooms

full of beautiful furniture like this
for a measly $ ?

But that's what you paid for it!

That's true,

but I'm in the business.

It isn't just the purchase price.

I got to add my overhead,
electricity, rent,

insurance, storage charges,
advertising.

You haven't moved a stick of
furniture out of this apartment.

Yeah...
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

Lucy, did you sign anything?

No...
only a bill of sale.

Only a bill of sale.

All right, Mr. Jenkins,

you paid $ for the furniture?

Now, how much all this other stuff
that you mentioned?

What... what does it add up to?

What? What was...?

Now remember, you haven't moved
anything

out of the apartment.

Oh, I'm allowing for that.

Better take another look at the
furniture.

We've had it an awful long time,

and the paint's all off,

and it's real ugly, and it's old,
and...

I realize how much

these valuable antiques mean to you,
madam.

Antiques?

Lucy, please, you said enough.

Wha...

All right, how much?
How much?
Well...

I shouldn't really do this.

I'm taking off every penny I can.

I'll let you have it all for...

only $ .

$ !

That's ridiculous.

I won't buy it back.

I'll get the fellas in the van...

Now, wait a minute.
Don't hurry up so fast.

Come back here a minute, will you?

Now, let's compromise, maybe.

How about two, uh...?

$ and, uh...

uh, $ ?

Well, I'm a lousy businessman

but, uh, I like the way you sing
"Babalu,"

so I'll take it.

Thank you.

Mira, lo que me pasa a mi,

no le pasa a nadie en este pais.

Vende el furniture for $ .

Y lo tengo que comprar ahora por
$ .

Ese va ser.
Aqui esta.

Ah, you two are certainly making a
sharp deal. Well...

I guess I'll just have to make it
up...

Yeah, you'll just make it up on your
next customer. I know.

Well... evening.

Good-bye.

Adios.

Now, Ricky,

it wasn't my fault.

I know. I know.

It's all my fault.

It is?

Yeah. Come on, I'll help you

carry the stuff into the bedroom.
Come on.

In the bedroom?

Yeah.

Uh, well, we-we really haven't

finished papering in there yet, and
I, uh...

What? What? What?
What did you say?

I said, we haven't finished papering
in there yet, and...

-Who is "we"?
-"We" is Ethel and Lucy paper hanger.

Oh, this...
this I got to see.

No, Ricky.

I won't get mad.

You promise?

I promise you I won't get mad.

Promise?
Yeah. Just let me see it.

Now, come on.

You and Ethel papered the room.
Uh-huh.

Just the two of you, huh?
Uh-huh.

Ricky, what's the matter?

It makes me dizzy.

Open the window, will you?
I need some air.

Window? Window.

Lucy, what have you done with the
windows?

Now, don't worry.

It's here someplace.

There.

How can you possibly paper over a
window?!

Now, Ricky, don't bawl me out.

That's only a minor thing.

Wait till I tell Ethel I didn't win.

What's the matter?

Where is Ethel?

Where is Ethel?

Ethel?

Ethel?

Ethel?

Ethel?

Ethel!

What?

Ethel, the most terrible thing has
happened.

Oh, Ricky!

I'm in here, Fred!
What? What?

I was waiting for you to get home.

What happened?

Lucy sold all the furniture and
papered the room,

thanks to a very funny phone call.

What phone call?

Look, don't try to cover it up.

She knows all about it.

No, no, no. That's what I was going
to tell you.

I lost my nerve and I didn't make
that phone call.

Then who did?

It must have been the home show!

I won! I really won!
I won!

I really won!