02x01 - How the Syd Stole Christmas

[bunniefuu]

Olive, can you believe it? Winter break.

Two school-free weeks,
and the best part is,

(sing-song) I'm going to Hawaii.

Without me.

You say "Hawaii," I hear "good-bye-ii."

Uh, Syd, I've got some bad news.

(sing-song) As long as
it's not about Hawaii.

Okay, then it's not about Hawaii,

and not about how
there's an active volcano

and definitely not about
how they canceled all the flights.

What? We're not going?

(sing-song) You're staying here
for Christmas.

You're staying here for Christmas.

Sorry.

Can we go someplace else?

Mexico? New Mexico? Any of the Mexicos.

I tried. It's two days before Christmas.
Everything's booked.

Hotels, motels, cabins.
Even a cattle ranch.

It was no, no, no, and a...

"Not happenin', partner."

Really? But I've loved
going away for Christmas

these last couple years.

Max: Look on the bright side.

We can have Christmas at home
like we used to.

I guess.

Oh, and I can celebrate
Hanukkah with you, Olive.

Oh, well, that was two weeks ago,
but it's the thought that counts.

It's gonna be great. Who needs Hawaii?

Grab your board and your wax,

'cause we're going to Hawaii!

Who wants to tell her?

Both: Not it.

(theme music playing)

♪ Do do, do do do do ♪

♪ Like father, like daughter
we don't always agree ♪

♪ But looking at you
is like looking at me ♪

♪ The more things change
the more they stay the same ♪

♪ Like father, like daughter
from different times ♪

♪ Taking all the best
from your decade and mine ♪

♪ The more things change ♪

♪ The more they stay the same ♪

♪ Do do, do do do do ♪

♪ Do do ♪

♪ The more they stay the same ♪

I'm so stoked.
Only one more day to winter break,

and days till summer.

Those days you know,
but you can't remember my birthday?

Hey, my mom put out the presents.

Wow. She's a born wrapper.

Her pleating game is impeccable.

And don't even get me started
on her embellishments.

Yeah. She does all those big words.

Look at this.

"To Max. Love, Mom."

Wow.

She never puts my presents
under the tree before Christmas.

She finally trusts me not to open 'em.

Hey.

Give me that.
I must have put it out by mistake.

Come on, Mom. I won't touch it.

You can leave my present under the tree.

You know what? You're right.

If you're old enough
to do your own laundry,

you're old enough for me to put
your Christmas present under the tree.

I don't do my own laundry.

Now you do. Merry Christmas.

What are you doing?

She didn't say I couldn't weigh it.

It's too light to be a book.

So that's good.

All right, Max.

You've had your fun.

You're making me nervous.

You're right. My mom trusted me.

What was she thinking?

A start-up jacket!

I can't believe it!

She got me a start-up jacket!

Whoa! You're gonna be
the coolest kid in school.

Nobody else has one.
Well, at least not yet.

You're right.

After break, everybody will have one.

Unless...

That's my least favorite word you say.

I'll wear the jacket
on the last day before break.

Then I'll be the first one in school.

All I gotta do is re-wrap it,

put the jacket back
before Christmas morning.

(paper rustling)

I can't watch this.

Give me tape, wrapping paper,
and every ribbon you've got.

I've got some decorative
embellishments to apply.

Thanks for inviting me
tree shopping, Mr. R.

I love Hanukkah,

but every year I ask my parents
for a Christmas tree.

And every year they say no.

Eight nights in a row.

Max: Whoa, Syd. That's a lot of presents.

Save some room under the tree for Santa.

Oh! What'd you get me? A jade roller?

A wishing ball?

Ooh! A candle shaped like Rhianna?

Sorry, Grandma. These are for the Millers.

They're the family that I adopted.

You adopted a family?

What about these people?

No, it's a charity that I found.

You're assigned a family in need,
and then you buy them presents.

Wow, Syd. That's so nice of you.

This all seems like a conversation
we could have at the tree lot.

-Let's move it, people.
-Oh, I can't go now.

I told Mrs. Miller I was on my way
to drop off these presents.

But Syd, it's Christmas Eve.

This is our last chance to get a tree.

(gasps) What are you saying?

That our Christmas
is more important than anyone else's?

I never said that.

I mean, I thought it for a second
but I didn't say it.

Okay, well, the lot closes at : .
So, just be back before then.

-Yeah, yeah. Of course.
-I'll come with you.

The sooner you're finished,
the sooner I can fill...

(whimpers)
...that tree-shaped hole in my heart.

-Okay. Bye, girls.
-(door closes)

I get the feeling Syd is not that excited

about staying home
for Christmas this year.

No, she's just disappointed
about the trip being canceled.

I get it. Right now, I should be in Hawaii

by the pool,
talking to a flirty towel boy.

Oh, Chad. A second towel?

You tease. (chuckles)

Yeah, I'm disappointed, too.

But we used to have
great Christmases here.

Syd loved them.

Well, that was because of her mom.

Yeah.

Nobody did Christmas like Alisha Reynolds.

She always made it so special.

Over Willamette and through Portland
To Grandma Judy's we go

We brought all the tinsel
And carried the stockings

I locked my keys in the car.

Oh, nope. I got 'em. Right here.

Ooh, cute sweater, Alisha.

Mom, we're wearing the exact same sweater.

No, you're wearing it. She's rocking it.

-(Alisha giggles)
-I get it. You like her more than me.

So do I.

Ew! Save it for the mistletoe, you two.

Well, I'm glad you guys are here.

It never feels like Christmas
until you show up.

Wait. These are all the decorations
you brought?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

We've got eight more boxes in the car.

Eight? You said we'd
keep it light this year.

Oh! Did I say we'd keep it light?

I meant to say we'd put up lots of lights.

And they're not gonna bring themselves in.

So, Dad...

Right. Boxes.

I'll help. Someone's gotta
tell you you're doing it wrong.

I thought they'd never leave.

Now we can get down
to the important stuff.

You mean our annual Christmas Eve prank?

How are we gonna top last year?

You mean "Operation
Make Dad Think It's Snowing Inside,

But It's Really Just Powdered Sugar?"

Yeah, we really need
shorter names for these pranks.

That's why this year's is called...

"Operation Gift b*mb."

I don't know what it is,

-but I love it already.
-(giggling)

Whoo.

Both: Eh, eh, eh.

(laughing)

Wow. This'll be the first Christmas
at home without Alisha.

You know what?

I know how to get Syd
in the Christmas spirit.

We'll do it the way Alisha did.
We'll go big.

Great idea.

You get the lights and the ladder,

I'll get the first aid kit.

(indistinct chatter)

That's right.

I got the first start-up jacket in school.

It keeps me warm, and makes me cool.

Apologies.

It's the jacket talking. Not him.

No, it was me.

Hey, watch it, peanut butter hands!

We really gotta find out
what that kid's real name is.

Whoa.

You have a start-up jacket?

Sweet. Can I try it on?

Sorry, Pete.

Can't risk messing up the threads.

Seriously?

Peanut Butter Paul, I understand. But me?

Both: Paul!

(bell rings)

Ooh, quick. Let's get to the cafeteria.

It's Sloppy Joe day.

Then I better put this away.

If my mom sees Sloppy Joe on this bad boy,
I am totally busted.

Yeah, good thinking.

That's not a start-up jacket.

That's a smart-up jacket.

(clattering)

(slams)

Now, let's go chow down in sloppy town.

Yeah, please never say that again.

(thudding)

(knock on the door)

Both: Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas.
Which one of you is Sydney?

Present. Heh. Or should I say, presents?

-Yeah.
-(laughing)

And I'm her friend Olive.

I celebrate Hanukkah,
but I also love Christmas.

So this isn't weird for me.

And it shouldn't be weird for you.

I have three boys.

One of them barks when he's hungry.

Nothing's weird for me.

Wow, you really went all out.

I just got laid off a few months ago.

So this is gonna
save Christmas for my boys.

-Thank you.
-It's our pleasure.

Presents! Yay!

This is my youngest, Charlie.

He likes action figures,

and not kicking strangers in the shins.

Right, Charlie?

But it's Christmas!

Girls, this is really sweet of you,

but I don't want to keep you
from celebrating your own Christmases.

That's okay. We're in no rush.

It'd be rude to just gift and go.

Uh, but Syd, what about the tree?

The lot closes in an hour.

Olive, don't worry.
We've got plenty of time.

And speaking of trees,

yours isn't even assembled yet.

We can do that for you.

Seriously?

Where were you two
when I bought this bookcase? (laughs)

Happy to do it.

What are you thinking?

It's gonna take us forever.

Syd, it's like you're trying
to avoid your own Christmas.

That's ridiculous.

Now let's get started.
The sooner we put together her tree,

the sooner we can hang up
her paper snowflakes.

But she doesn't have any paper snowflakes.

Exactly. We've got some
serious snipping to do.

-Hey, girls.
-Hey, Dad.

Sorry that we took so long, and...

we missed out on buying a tree.

Yeah, it just don't be the same.

But, we'll still try to have
a good Christmas, tree or no...

Tree!

(screams)

(angrily) You got a tree?

I mean... (excitedly) ...you got a tree!

I figured you wouldn't be back in time,
so I went out and got one.

Start hanging some ornaments.
I'll go buy some new lights.

Christmas is happening, people!

(door closes)

Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?

Okay. Just breathe, Carol.

The baby's not due for another two weeks.

No, it's not labor. It's just... gas.

Yes. Probably from eating
that entire fruitcake.

That Carol lady calls a lot.
Is everything okay?

Moms-to-be can get a little nervous,

and since I'm delivering her baby,
I have to reassure her.

You're a great doctor, Mom.

Thank you. But...

I am an even better prankster.

"Operation Gift b*mb" is in full effect.

Let's see Dad fall asleep
after Christmas Eve dinner now.

Or after opening gifts,
or watching a movie...

Something about the holidays

gives that man
a real case of the sleepies.

(laughs)

What happened to the couch?
What about my sleepy nap time?

Well, you'll just have to nap on the...

Oh, wait. We wrapped that, too.

Guess you'll just have to stay awake
with the rest of us this year.

Oh! Best gift ever.

Well, joke is on you. I will nap upstairs.

-This is some of our best work.
-Oh.

And so is that.

But you know the best part?

Doing it with you.

We can't keep this tree, Olive.

What?

We have to give it to the Millers.
They deserve a real one.

You wanna steal
your family's Christmas tree?

Oh, you are so going on the naughty list.

Olive, we aren't stealing.

We're just spreading Christmas cheer.

Now keep your voice down,
and help me sneak this thing out of here.

Syd, it's too big.

We can't deliver this thing on our own.

That's why we're gonna need some help.

But who would want to spend
Christmas Eve delivering things?

Other than Santa?

Someone who enjoys
delivering things even more...

than Santa.

Tree's here.

It's ready, it's right, or it's... tree.

Girls, I really don't need another--

Wait. Aren't you my pizza guy?

Truth is, I don't just love pizza.

I love Christmas, too.
Especially the trees.

They look like giant slices of pizza.

And the ornaments look like pepperonis.

Word of advice:
they don't taste like pepperonis.

Okay, Mrs. Miller. Time to decorate.

Let's string some popcorn.

It might take a while,
but we should be done by midnight.

Sydney, you've been great.

You brought me presents,
you assembled my tree.

You brought another tree

that I have absolutely no idea
what to do with,

but Christmas is a time for family.

I think I know what you're trying to say.

You think of us as family.

-Oh!
-That's not exactly what I--

Hey, Syd. You know what?

I think I saw lots of pine cones outside
that we can use for the tree.

Really? Great idea.

Lock the door behind us.

No matter what you hear, do not open it.

Merry Christmas!

What am I gonna do?

We searched everywhere, and no jacket.

There's nowhere else to look.

We checked the lost and found,
the dumpster...

Did you know the art teacher
throws out our old projects?

It's like, why even try?

I'll be okay.

Just need to buy another jacket.

You got any money?

No, I, uh, spent all my money

buying Christmas presents
for family and friend.

Whoops.

Oh. So the same thing I got last year?

Anyway, what are we gonna do about your--

Ms. Reynolds! (laughs nervously) Uh...

What is that wonderful aroma
coming from your kitchen?

It's either fish sticks,
or I have to take out the garbage.

Wow, Max. I can't believe
you haven't opened your present yet.

I'm proud of you.

You really have grown up.

Max, you have to tell your mom
you lost the jacket.

Yeah. You're right.

I'm sure if we put our heads together,
we'll find the right way to tell her.

Don't you count my head in this.
(chuckles) I'm out!

-Syd, someone stole our Christmas tree.
-Dad.

Don't touch anything,
in case they need to dust for prints.

Oh, no. Mine are all over this place.

Dad, it was me.

You? Why would you take our tree?

I gave it to the Millers.

You what? We were gonna
decorate that tree together

and celebrate Christmas.

But, Dad, the Millers
aren't as lucky as us.

Don't you want to share
the spirit of Christmas?

I do. With you.

Well, maybe I don't want to celebrate.

Syd, is this because
we didn't get to go to Hawaii?

-Dad, this isn't about Hawaii.
-Then what is this about?

I really don't want to talk about it.

-I think we really need to.
-Look...

It's about Mom. Okay?

I see.

I know Christmas hasn't been easy

since Mom d*ed
and that's why we started going away,

but we can't keep avoiding it.

It's time we celebrated again.

No. Mom's gone.

We can't go back celebrating
like she's still here

and everything's the same.

It's not.

Christmas is never gonna be
the same without her.

I never wanna celebrate it again.

Look who brought tinsel!

(chuckles)

Sydney, you're obviously a sweet girl

who really cares about people.

But it's Christmas Eve...

Honey, don't you have
your own family to be with?

Yes, but--

Can I open my birthday present now?

A little later, honey.

Don't you mean Christmas present,
little guy?

But today is my birthday.

He was my little Christmas present.

(giggles)

Wow, a Christmas Eve baby.

I'd love to hear all about that.

How old is he? Where was he born?
Was it a tough birth?

Charlie's four,
he was born at St. Theresa's,

and I'm uncomfortable
answering the last one.

St. Theresa's?
My mom used to deliver babies there.

Oh, really? What's her name?

Dr. Alisha Reynolds.

She was a wonderful woman.

I'm so sorry.

You knew her?

She delivered all three of my boys.

I always felt terrible
that I dragged her away from Christmas

to deliver Charlie.

What? She left on Christmas?

I understand. Bye.

Mom, I got Dad
with the mashed potatoes again.

Looks like he got you back.

(giggles)

Syd, uh...

I have something to tell you.

Remember Carol?
The lady I was talking to earlier?

The fruitcake lady?

Yeah.

Turns out, it wasn't the fruitcake.

She went into labor,
and she's going to have her baby tonight.

And I have to deliver it.

You're leaving?

Yes.

But it's Christmas. You can't.

I know, Syd.
And believe me, I don't want to, but...

babies don't stop for Christmas,

and someone has to help them be born.

That's not fair.

It isn't Christmas if you're not here.

I'll miss you, too.

But, the thing that I would hate
more than missing Christmas

is knowing that you
didn't have a great one.

So...

Can you promise me...

that you will have
the best Christmas possible?

Even if I'm not here?

Okay. I promise.

Yeah.

(sighs)

Everything okay, Sydney?

I can't believe I forgot about
my mom leaving that Christmas.

I guess I only remember the good parts.

Listen, you wanna stay for some egg nog?

Thanks, but I've got to get home.

I just remembered a promise
that I have to keep.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, Sydney.

(knock on the door)

So, how'd it go with your mom?

Which is it:
m*llitary school, or boarding school?

There's a school for skateboarders?

Forget it. What'd she say?

Well...

You didn't tell her?

Max, it's already Christmas Eve.

I know! But I'm holding out
for a Christmas miracle.

Oh, good! So you have a plan.

(knock on the door)

Pete. Whoa, you found my start-up jacket.

Yeah. I found it on the floor
by your locker.

I was on my way to lost and found,

but it was just so nice, and--

So you kept it?

Sorry, man. I just--

I just wanted to know
what it was like to wear one.

It didn't feel right, so...

Here.

I can't believe you took it.

You should have been nicer, Max.

I don't think Pete can afford
a jacket like that.

How do you know?

My parents and I volunteer
at the food bank.

I've seen Pete and his family
getting free groceries there.

His family goes to the food bank?

Hey, Pete!

What?

Here.

Why don't you keep the jacket,

as a reward for returning it.

But then you won't have it.

Eh, I got plenty of 'em.

(chuckles)

Wow, man. Thanks.

In that case, let me give you something.

Here. Take my yo-yo.

Thanks, man. Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Feels good to give, doesn't it?

Try to remember that next Christmas.

-(door closes)
-Mom,

I have something to tell you. I messed up.

(sighs) I opened my present early,
wore it...

and lost it.

You are so grounded.

Sydney, where have you been?

We were worried.

Sorry. We were out getting a tree.

I figured we might need a new one.

The tree lot was closed,
but we pulled this from their dumpster.

I know he's small,
but I love this dry little guy.

I think that tree is perfect.

Just like you, noodle.

So what are we all standing around for?

Let's crank up the tunes
and deck some halls.

We're gonna Christmas hard tonight!

Come on, Olive.
Let's go make some egg nog.

(excitedly) I get to make egg nog.

Wait. What's egg nog?

So, Sydney, where did
all this Christmas spirit

suddenly come from?

I realized that I owe it to Mom.

In fact, from now on,
I wanna celebrate Christmas here,

just like we did with Mom.

I would love that.

Oh, and I almost forgot.

-I got you a present.
-Oh.

Thank you.

(whirring)

I have never been so happy
to be pranked in my life.

-Merry Christmas, Dad.
-Merry Christmas, Syd.

Shh.

Am I too late?

She tried to wait up as long as she could,

but she finally fell asleep.

You would be proud of me, though.

I actually stayed awake...

-for the most part.
-(giggles)

Oh, that's my big boy.

I am so sorry that I had
to miss Christmas, Max.

Was Syd upset?

Actually, whatever you said to her worked.

She had a great Christmas.

Well, that's my little rock star.

Oh! And her gift?

It was perfect.

Something tells me
she's going to be playing that

for a very long time.

Oh.

Do do, do do do do

Do do

Do do, do do do do

Do do

Do do, do do do do

Do do

Do do, do do do do

Do do

Man: Oh, yeah.