01x05 - Chase Goes to a High School Dance

[bunniefuu]

I'm here at Madison High
in Maplewood, New Jersey,

where ninth grader Rachel Klein
isn't bringing

just any date
to her school dance tonight.

She is bringing singing
sensation ChaseDreams.

Chase posted he was coming

to his million followers

so fans from all over the tristate area

came out just to catch a glimpse.

And it looks like Chase
is pulling up now.

The fans are going crazy.

It's a little scary to be honest.

[screaming, shouting]

He's walking in with his lucky date

and what appears to be
an old Backstreet Boy.

And now a second SUV has pulled up.

Did Chase bring some celeb friends?

[crowd quiets]

Oh, no. Never mind. It's his parents.

And it looks like they had him old.

Thank you for coming.
This is will be such

a special night for the students.

Well, Chase is so happy to be here.

Oh, my God, that reminds me.

I gotta get him out of the wall.

- BOTH: What?
- Yeah, I knew the fans

out front would be real crazy,
so I snuck him in

through the ventilation system.

[grunting]

I think a mouse bit me.

[laughs] That's Hollywood, baby!

Oh, my God.

Um, Streeter, when you said
you were gonna

sneak him in I thought you meant like

- through the back.
- Oh, this is what

the hottest celebrities do.
They crawl through the walls,

and then they have a decoy
come in the front.

Speaking of which, great job, Lorraine.

Hey, if you're happy, I'm happy.

[laughs] Isn't this unbelievable?

I found her about two hours ago online.

She is a handful, but they're
basically the same height.

Okay, well thank you, Lorraine.

You can just go ahead
and wait in the car.

Are you sure you don't need
me to stick around

and play other roles? I'm also an actor.

- [under breath] Oh, no.
- I do accents, impressions.

I have some costumes in the car.

That's okay. Thank you, Lorraine.

[British accent] Then good
eve, my lords and ladies.

- [normal voice] British.
- I could have sworn

that was French, but then when she said

British I was like,
[snaps fingers] "Yep."

Okay, well let's get you two lovebirds

out on the dance floor 'cause
we gotta be out of here in...

.

- Wait, we do?
- Yep.

Chase got an invite to the launch party

of Lil Wayne's new tequila.

I really want to meet him.

I mean, Chase wants to meet him.

He can't even drink. He's .

Ages are for regular people, okay?

- He's a singer.
- [cell phone buzzing]

What are we talking about here?

Oh, sorry. I gotta take this.
It's my agent.

Cary, I've got some good news,

and I've got some bad news.

The good news is

I submitted you for the lead

in the next Marvel movie.

What? That's...

That's insane. Thank you, Skip.

The bad news is

they said that's not
the way it works, okay?

They don't just take
submissions for that.

Then why did you call me?

I thought you called me.

[sighs] Good-bye, Skip.

Okay, buh-bye.

Ladies, can I interest you
in a new kitchen?

Okay, okay, here's what we're gonna do.

Chase and Rachel, you're gonna
dance to exactly five songs.

While they're doing that,

Streeter and I are gonna pass out merch.

Oh, wait till you see what it is.

- Streety crushed it.
- I bet he didn't.

Then, Chase is gonna take
pictures for minutes.

Anybody who posts one should
use the same hashtag.

- Chom.
- What?

Chom. It's a combo of Chase and Prom.

Okay or since it's not prom,

- why don't we do #DreamDance?
- Boo.

And when is he doing
his live performance?

Oh, uh yeah, we got some
bummer news on that front.

C.D. has to be in the studio
early tomorrow morning

so he is on strict vocal rest.

No singing. Not talking. All night.

Then why did he come to this?

No, no, no. No, it's gonna be great.

He's gonna lip-sync.
No one's gonna be able to tell.

Streeter said he figured
the whole thing out.

Yeah, I'll take care of the singing.

- Excuse me?
- Ah! God, who's that?

That's Chase's date.
You rode here with her?

Can we go dance now?

Hang on, hang on.
Just, uh... we talked about the...

Then we went through, um...

Yeah, I think we're good.
Yeah, you can go.

Go have fun.

Come on. Go, go, go. Have fun quickly.

Run, bitch! [snapping]

Sorry. Sorry, sorry.

She's new.

[pulsing dance music playing]

What up, Madison High!

- Is everyone having fun tonight?
- [all cheering]

Special shout-out to Rachel
and ChaseDreams.

- You guys having fun?
- Whoo!

You know it! Keep going, everybody.

Hey, thanks for being
my date tonight, Car.

Yes, of course. Yeah.

You want to hear something sad?

This is my tenth
high school dance with a girl.

[laughs] Aw.

I mean, at least you got
to go to dances.

- I was already in New York.
- Oh, yeah.

They didn't have dances at that school?

No, we studied dance.

We didn't, like, do dances at night too.

Mm. What would you do?

dr*gs, Cary.

- Ah, yeah.
- [humming]

Hey, cool hair.

- You sing?
- No, I play soccer.

Perfect. Okay, athletes
make the best singers.

Meet me in the library in minutes,

and, uh, bring your ball.

[cackles]

- Hi, you're a music manager?
- Yes.

♪ And your keys, ooh ♪

♪ Your ring of keys ♪

So, what did you think?

I think you can make
an excellent veterinarian.

Okay, here's a fun thing.

Which one of these kids were you at ?

[gasps] Oh, my God. Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Oh... [blows raspberry] No brainer.

- That one. Fun, confident.
- Yeah.

Dress fully tucked up into her assh*le.

- [chuckles]
- She's living.

- Well, there's me.
- Aw.

- That is definitely me.
- Oh, yeah.

Oh, n... never mind.

And, damn!

Hi, I'm Elijah.

Are you CaryDreams?

- Uh...
- Yes.

- Yes.
- Yes, he is.

Do you want to dance?

♪ ♪

Sure. Yeah. Yeah, buddy.

Just promise you'll never hurt me.

Oh, uh, I promise.

Hi. We have a problem.

Ugh, what did Streeter do?

Nope, it's your brother.

He's in the bathroom
with some boys smoking.

He is?

Oh, sh...

Thank you.

[slow, romantic song plays]

♪ ♪

You know I want to be
in the industry too.

- Like, an actor?
- No.

I want to run Hollywood.

I'm gonna sit on the top floor
of a very tall building

and be in charge of everyone.

- [chuckles]
- Oh.

Cool.

♪ ♪

[mouthing words]

[mouthing words]

Excuse me, sir. You have a phone call.

It's - ... , yeah. They called you.

- It's an emergency.
- Oh.

- Thank you.
- Uh-huh.

Sorry, Elijah.

[stammers]

Very good lie. So real.

I know. Sorry, I panicked.

- [both chuckle]
- Okay, I gotta go do rounds.

Just walk around the school
and make sure

kids aren't having sex.

Do you... wanna come?

Oh. Yeah.

Cool. I'm Jeremy by the way.

Hey, Cary.

[dark music]

Oh, my God. Chase, what are you doing?

This is...

Lorraine?

[Australian accent] G'day mate.

[normal voice] Australian.

Why are you not in the car?

I was just telling these boys

about my favorite acting role.

I was an extra on the pilot of "ER."

If I think about that
for too long I could cry.

I was also this close
to being an Olympic skater.

But my mom wouldn't buy me skates.

Lorraine. Car. Now.

I can't believe
you're the drama teacher.

Ours was so old.
I was like, thir..ty. Oh.

Whoa.

Yeah. Our teachers were not old.

- Oh, God.
- Let me guess.

You were the lead in all your plays too?

You know it. Yep.

No, our theater program
was actually really good, so.

Okay, no offense,

but literally every
high school play is bad.

Even the good high school plays are bad.

No, no, I mean we did
"Fiddler on the Roof"

and I think if I saw it now

I would still think it was good.

Did you play Tevye?

- Yeah.
- So you were a gay child

playing a -year-old Russian peasant?

Yes, but... but I think I pulled it off.

- You didn't.
- Oh, my God.

No high school kid ever has.

No, you're right. I had braces.

- What? [chuckles]
- [woman moaning]

- Hey, break it up.
- It's teachers!

- It's Mark and Diane!
- Oh, sorry, guys.

They're trying to have a baby.

Oh, that's sweet.

Sorry, I just need to know
where you are at all times

- for your safety.
- But Rachel wanted...

Shh, no talking. Just... just dance.

The swag has arrived.

[as Austin Powers]
"The swag baby, yeah."

Why are you doing Austin Powers?

What do you mean?

Okay, let's just pass these out.

What'd you get, like T-shirts or...?

Are these surge protectors?

Okay, here's the thing.

So last week I was ordering

surge protectors for my house,

and I accidentally typed in , .

Why did you need ten for your house?

Well, you can never have
too many surge protectors.

I guess you can?

Whatever, just go.
Pass... pass them out.

So, Rachel, is it a dream come
true to be dancing with Chase?

- Yeah, he's a great dancer...
- Okay, that's great

'cause you have more seconds.

Chase makes your electric.
Hold on to that.

[chuckles] Stay plugged in, all right?

Chase wants you to have this
for your electric.

What is this crap?

Oh, bad boy.

Meet me in the library in ten minutes.

And stay mad.

So were you out in high school?

Um, yeah.

- Tenth grade. You?
- Hm.

Uh, senior year of, um, college.

- Oh, ew.
- I know, I know, I know.

- College?
- Yeah, it's very late.

- But, um...
- No, to each their own.

- [laughs]
- No judgement.

Wait.

What play are you guys doing?

I don't want to tell you.

I mean, it looks like "Grease" on Mars?

- That's literally what it is.
- Are you serious?

Every couple years the kids
beg me to do "Grease."

So I've done "Grease" in World w*r II.

- "Grease" in a women's prison.
- Oh.

And now "Grease" on Mars, baby!

- You've done a great job.
- [woman moaning]

- Hey, break it up!
- It's teachers.

- It's Tom and Lisa.
- Oh. Sorry.

Are they trying to have a baby, too?

- No, that one's an affair.
- Oh.

What up, what up? Big announcement!

ChaseDreams is now taking
photos for the next .

Oh, don't forget to use the #DreamDance.

I thought it was chom.

That's what my surge protector says.

- It does?
- Yeah.

In really bad handwriting.

[sighs] What is that man doing tonight?

Okay, kids. You are now...

a boy band. Huh? Ha-ha!

You're the bad boy, you're the hot one,

you're the pirate, you're the gay guy.

- You gay?
- No.

- Any of you guys gay?
- ALL: No.

Okay, congrats. You're the gay one.

And you're...

the dud. All right.

Welcome to the first day

of the rest of your life.

And I will be right there by your side.

- [poignant music]
- When you laugh,

I'll laugh.

When you cry,

I'll cry.

And when you dance,

I'll watch you dance.
So what do you say?

- Pass.
- No thanks.

I just want to go dance.

Do any of you have any younger brothers?

Okay, I've been asked to announce

we have another celebrity here
taking pics.

Apparently she was in "ER."

It also says she can drive stick?

[under breath] God damn it.

It's so pretty out here.

Makes me wanna go to a football game.

Makes you want to sit
and watch a full football game?

No, no. I guess it just makes me wanna

watch "Friday Night Lights."

[both chuckle]

So how long have you lived out here?

Uh, pretty much right
after NYU I got this job.

I just never wanted to do
the whole working actor thing

and still be waiting tables at age .

Totally, yeah.

Oh, no. Do you wait tables?

- Yeah, yeah.
- Ah, sh*t.

I didn't literally mean waiting tables.

- That's just the cliché thing you say.
- No. No, no, no. It's fine.

I'm literally living
the cliché thing you say, so...

[breathes deeply]

And action. [laughs]

Why are you not in the car?

This young man wants to be an actor too.

Anyway, I'll never forget
what Geena Davis said to me

on the set of "Stuart Little."

"Either you go or I go."

Lorraine. I will give you
$ if you go sit in the car.

Whoa. That's ten times more

than what I got paid to come here.

You did this for $ ?

Well, $ after taxes. $ after my agent.

$ after my manager. So $ . $ .

♪ ♪

You should go to law school.

You know, I think I could
actually live here.

Whoa. This is moving a little fast.

Oh. No, I didn't mean, um,

- here here, I just meant...
- Dude.

- Chill.
- [laughs]

Okay.

Uh, it's teachers.

- You b*tches!
- Oh, no.

How? How could you do this to me?

Elijah, go back to the dance, please.

Stay out of this, Jeremy.

Haven't you done enough for one night?

Again, you need to call me
"Mr. Delongpre."

And you...

I told you my dreams.

We danced together.
Did that mean nothing to you?

I don't know how to answer that.

Typical.

Good-bye, Cary Dubek.

But just tell me one more thing
before I go.

Was that really
on the phone for you?

No.

[breathy] Wow.

[hip-hop music playing]

What up, what up?

It's the moment we've
all been waiting for.

He's got hundreds of millions
of views on YouTube

and tonight he's performing live

with a song that made him famous.

- Give it up for ChaseDreams!
- [cheers and applause]

[pulsing electronic music playing]

- Sorry again he's lip-syncing.
- That's okay.

Did the DJ have the right track
for him to sing to?

I'm assuming so. Streeter said

he was taking care of the singing.

♪ ♪

Oh, no.

I am so sorry for
what's about to happen.

[off-key] ♪ Girl, since the age of ten ♪

♪ I knew that I would spend ♪

♪ My whole life with you ♪

♪ 'Cause, girl, you're the cutest girl ♪

♪ In the entire world ♪

- Excuse me.
- ♪ I would die for you ♪

♪ 'Cause when we are together ♪

♪ I can play forever ♪

Hey, Brooke. [mumbling lyrics]

♪ My friends think I'm crazy ♪

♪ But I'm thinking maybe ♪

♪ I wanna marry you at recess, uh-huh ♪

♪ Girl, I wanna fight for you,
I wanna cry for you ♪

♪ I wanna... ♪
[mumbles rapidly]

♪ And together chase dreams! ♪

[music stops]

[light applause]

Okay, that's it. Thank you so much.

You guys have been so great.
I'm so happy to be here.

But I have to go.
I'm gonna meet Lil Wayne.

Can you believe it? Lil Wayne! [laughs]

Okay, well, I am so lucky. Thank you.

Goodnight.

[feedback screech]

[dance music plays]

How do you think that went?

You told me you were gonna
have him lip-sync.

- We did.
- I thought you meant

to like a track.

But we promised a live performance.

- What?
- Hey, Brooke,

- we're leaving now?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're done. You can go sit in the car.

- And don't talk.
- But I wanna dance.

- These kids are fun.
- Oh, I'm sorry, bud.

But, you know, you'll have
plenty of dances to go to

- when you get to high school.
- I'm not going to high school.

I already graduated on Streeter's phone.

- Yeah.
- Oh, no, that was...

- That was just the eighth grade.
- No.

He went through
the whole high school too.

I mean, this guy tore through the app.

He's a smart little dude. Ah! [laughs]

Hey, why don't you go say
good-bye to your date,

and then we'll meet
[as Lil Wayne] Lil Wayne!

No. No.

He's not going to that.
He's staying here.

Oh. No can do, chica.

I mean, I b*rned a lot
of bridges to get that invite.

So it'd be poor form
if he didn't show up.

Well, he's not gonna show,
so why don't you do your job

for the first time tonight
and figure it the f*ck out!

Whoa. Who's that?

That's my sister.

Yeah, Dur. I meant the guy in all white

- with the Kangol.
- Oh, that's nobody.

Okay, boss, I, uh, hear you.

I admit I had a few missteps tonight.

But I think there's one thing
that we can agree

that I did not mess up
and that's Lorraine.

Her entrance was perfect,
and she's been sitting out

in the car all night just like
we asked her too.

So... [snaps fingers]
here's what we're gonna do.

We're gonna have Lorraine
come to the tequila party,

put on sunglasses and a hoodie,

and Lil Wayne will never
notice, and then Chase

can have his night off.

Streeter, that's...

That's an amazing idea.

I'm sorry I yelled at you.

You really... you saved the night.

Thank you.

No. Thank you.

And I promise I will...

I will not mess up again.

- Okay? [laughs] Okay.
- Okay.

Take the night off.

Uh-oh! Somebody's hooking up tonight!

♪ ♪

You really think that's gonna work?

No, she's a -something-year-old woman.

But this will buy us a few hours.

- [car door opens]
- [laughs]

Whoo! Driver take us to Lil Wayne.

[laughs, sighs]

God, it's uncanny.

♪ ♪

Not to be too whatever,

but it was nice
that you were here tonight.

There's never any gay guys
at these dances.

All the teachers are straight.

Oh, yeah, that sucks.

Well, the science teacher's
gay but he's .

- Oh. Yeah.
- And the sex was terrible.

[laughs]

♪ ♪

[dark music]

♪ ♪

So, this is where kids go

after dances?

I think just the losers.

Well, where do the cool kids go?

I don't know. I was a diner kid.

Aw, right.

It's so peaceful out here.

Yeah. Makes me want to k*ll myself.

[laughing] What?
No, it's nice. It's sweet.

I wish I had the kind
of brain that could be happy

living here, but then
I wouldn't be able to read.

Jeremy lives out here, and he
has a normal brain, I think.

Maybe I should just quit
and move somewhere like this.

My life in New York is not that great.

I'm a waiter and I basically
live in a closet.

Okay, well I literally live in a closet,

so let's not be rude.

Also, Cary, being a waiter is temporary.

What if it's not?

I'm and I just

sh*t a commercial where I smell a fart.

I feel like if I was gonna be
a famous actor

it would have happened by now.

Maybe I just missed my wave.

Oh.

- You are so dumb.
- What?

- Chase is your wave.
- Ew, no.

He could be.

Cary, I'm gonna say this with love.

You are not above all of this.

- I know I...
- I just... I feel like you had

this romantic vision
of how this whole thing

was gonna play out for you,
and sometimes it just

doesn't happen that way.

It happens in a million weird ways.

Maybe Chase is your weird way.

- [laughs] Oh, my God.
- What?

Lil Wayne just posted a picture

with Streeter and Lorraine.

- No.
- [laughs]

"I love ChaseDreams.

This Lil dude wrinkly as hell. #chom"

- Oh, my God.
- Well...

Is Streeter actually a genius?

Hey, are you guys with ChaseDreams?

- Yes.
- Yeah.

♪ And your keys, oh ♪

♪ Your ring of keys ♪

[flatly] That was beautiful.

But we can't really do anything.

- Okay, so Sandy is a human?
- Yeah.

Yeah, and then Danny's what?
He's an alien?

- Uh-huh.
- Uh-huh, okay, yeah.

And then instead of Rydell High
they go to...

- Mars High.
- Mm-hmm, yeah.

Well, yeah, seems like you
really cracked it.

I love doing intros. Hi!

[techno music]

Hello, welcome to The Other Show.

- I'm Chris.
- I'm Sarah.

And we're the creators of The Other Two

and we're here talking
about episode five

with Ken, and Helene and Drew.

Well, and this episode
was directed by...

- Oh, Mike Karnell, my husband.
- Wow, her husband, wow.

- At the time he was your fiancé.
- That's true.

Yeah, we sh*t this episode
days before your wedding.

sh*t this episode, left on the next day

to go down to where we got married.

Got married that following Sunday.

- Consummated the marriage.
- The following Saturday. Cconsummated it.

And then we went on a scout
on Thursday the next week.

It's so pretty out here.

Makes me want to go to a football game.

Makes you want to sit and
watch a full football game?

No, no, I guess it just makes me

want to watch "Friday Night Lights."

I feel like a lot of
the show is you trying

to measure yourself
against your little brother

or other people or am
I doing well enough

or am I doing well enough fast enough?

Isn't that the question we all
ask ourselves all the time?

Yeah, hopefully going
back to the high school

helped bring that to a boil, sort of,

I guess especially for
your character, for Cary.

And even for Brooke
since she didn't get to

go to high school really,

she didn't have a typical upbringing.

But I went to dance
school and did dr*gs.

But in the writer's
room, we would say like,

okay and this scene will be on
the football field at night.

And the writer's room would be like

"For why, what happens there?"

And we'd be like, we
don't know but there's

- a big wide sh*t of a football field.
- [laughter]

I mean, we did Fiddler
on the Roof and I think

if I saw it now I would...
I would still think it was good.

Did you play Tevye?

Yeah.

So you were a gay child playing

a year old Russian peasant?

Yes, but I think I pulled it off.

In the writer's room we
were talking a lot about

like roles that you,
at the time, were like...

"This is crazy that I was cast as this,

"but I was actually very good."

'Cause, no, you weren't.

I still think I was
pretty good in everything,

so that never happened to me.

Well, you've done Broadway,
so you probably were good.

I played... in ninth grade,
I played Daddy Warbucks...

In ninth grade?

In ninth grade I didn't
want to shave my head

and so I was like
"I'll wear a bald cap",

we glued it on so I
didn't, like you could feel

the pressure, you could feel,
you didn't want to rip it.

So I would... I did the whole play

like I had a neck brace on.

In the moment that year,
were you like...

"I'm getting away with
this, this bald cap works."

Or did you know this was pretty rough?

I was terrific.

Yeah, you were terrific,
you were terrific.

At least I thought I was.

I don't want to stop our conversation,

but we do have a superstar in our midst.

Because you won a very

- important award in high school.
- Thank you, yep.

- So just let's throw focus to her.
- What was the award?

Well, in high school, in ,

I won best actress in New Jersey.

- Wow.
- Wow.

- What Sarah?
- At a theater festival.

Best actor in New Jersey
was also in our play,

and so was the best supporting actress

because our drama
teachers ran the festival.

Okay, well this was
not told to me backstage.

So I do think it was real,
I do think it was real.

Edit out my set-up.

This is not what was told to me.

Cool hair, do you sing?

No, I play soccer.

Perfect, okay, athletes
make the best singers.

Meet me in the library in minutes,

and bring your ball.

I was telling you this story, which is,

it was a very pivotal
moment in my deciding

to dive deeper into being an actor.

I played sports and
I was in plays in school,

and I would do both.

The varsity coach cornered
me in the locker room

and he was like "Marino,"
and I was like "Yeah?".

And he goes "You gonna
play basketball this year

- "or do that f*g acting?"
- Oh.

And I was like...

"I'm gonna do the acting"
and then that was it.

I didn't play basketball
that next year, and I just...

It was like...

And I still remember that and that was,
you know, many, many years ago.

- Yeah.
- But I remember that moment

and the decision of being like...
We were talking about it.

- Yeah, it's a thing about, yeah...
- It's a thing that drove...

that, you have these moments

- of people who inspire you...
- Yeah.

Or people who say things
that like, infuriate you

and motivate you to dig deeper into it.

But that's cool that
that made you be like,

- that didn't make you be like,
- I'm going acting.

"Oh, I don't want to seem like
a f*g, I'll do basketball.

- You were like f*ck him, I'm gonna...
- Exactly.

I guess it's probably
cause you weren't gay.

I was gay, so I'd be like
"No, I 'm playing basketball."

- [laughter]
- I love basketball.

[everyone speaking gibberish]

- f*cking f*g... [gibberish]
- I'm quiting.

[laughter]

So, this is where kids go after dances?

I think just the losers.

Well, where do the cool kids go?

I don't know, I was a diner kid.

You guys have fun high
school dance stories?

I only went to dances with gay men.

[laughter]

Yeah, that sounds about right.

So, yep, I went to
theater school, so did you.

Went to dances with gay
men and I'm thriving.

Right around the time
that we were going to prom,

I had a high school boyfriend

and we were very serious
about each other.

And we both were like in musicals
and plays and whatever together.

And we each wrote a song
for each other and

then we snuck into a church and

played them for each other and sobbed.

That is...

- That is adorable!
- Is he gay now?

- No.
- Amazing.

By the way, it sounds
like it's from "Dawson's Creek."

I didn't kiss a boy
throughout all of high school

cause I was in the closet obviously

and then my first kiss
with a boy, I came out to

one of my friends from high school
in my freshman year of college.

I AOL instant messaged him
and I was like "I'm gay"

and then he was like "Me too."

And then so the next time
I was in my hometown,

we met up, we were like, well...

I don't think we're gonna be
together but should

we kiss each other since
we've never kissed?

So I made us drive to a half-built home.

- What?
- It was half-built, I drove us there.

And then I kind of location scouted,

I was like, I think
this room's big enough,

I can sit down onto a step.

And we made out there and it was great.

You produced your first kiss?

Yeah, I did.

I guess as an outro, I'll just say...

Hi, Eric. That was a great night.

- And watch our next episode.
- [laughter]