02x21 - Lucy Changes Her Mind

Complete collection of episode scripts for the TV series, "I Love Lucy". Aired October 1951 - May 1957.*
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Lucy & Ricky Ricardo live in New York, while Ricky tries to succeed in show business -- Lucy who is always trying to help -- usually ends up in some kind of trouble that drives Ricky insane.
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02x21 - Lucy Changes Her Mind

Post by bunniefuu »

Lucy?

Oh, hi, Ethel.
Lucy isn't here.

She took the baby down to Mrs.
Jenkins.

What's going on around here?

Oh, Lucy rearranged the furniture
again.

But she just rearranged it last week.

No!

Oh, well, she'll rearrange it back
again in a couple of days.

I just hope that she gets my favorite
chair

over there where there's some light
so I can see.

What makes Lucy change her mind like
this?

Ask Lucy, Ethel.

Yeah.

This is nothing.

You remember the time

that we went to the roof garden to
have dinner?

Oh, yeah.

What a night.

The whole evening started off wrong.

I was just sitting here, waiting for
Lucy to get ready.

Lucy!

I'll be ready in a minute, dear.

"I'll be ready in a minute, dear."

Hi, Ricky.

Hi, Ethel.

Hi, Rick.

Hi, Fred.

Well, we're all set.

Is Lucy ready?

Oh, sure.

Isn't she ready yet?

I thought you were going to get her
started

earlier tonight so we can have dinner
and then go to a movie.

I started her at : this afternoon.

That early enough?

What's she doing?

Well, she's trying to make up her
mind.

First she couldn't decide what movie
she wanted to go to.

That took until : .

Then she couldn't decide what dress
she was gonna wear.

No, no, son, that's your fault.

You've trained her wrong.

You mean that doesn't happen at your
house?

I should say not.

The first dress Ethel puts on is the
dress she wears.

Oh, how do you manage that?

That's easy. I've only got one dress.

Very funny.

Go on, Rick, will you?
Do something.

I'll be ready in a minute,
dear!

I swear that she can see through the
walls.

Boy, I'm starved.

Oh, you can live off your fat

for a few more minutes.

You might as well get comfortable.

Sit down, will you?

Well, come on.
What are you waiting for?

Where are you going to dinner?

I don't know.

How about some good Italian food?

Oh, you know, I kind of felt like
Chinese food tonight.

Well, that's okay with me as long as
we eat.

Yeah, me, too.
How about you, Lucy?

Gee, they both sound so good.

I like Chinese food, but I'm crazy
about Italian food, too.

Well, maybe we can find a place

that serves ravioli foo yong.

Or chicken chow pizza.

Uh, Italian food sounds okay by me.

All right.
Okay.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Oh, darn it!

As you were, diners.

I just happened to think,

we ate Italian food a couple of
nights ago.

All right, then, we'll have Chinese
food.

All right.

Okay.

Oh, wait a minute!

Don't tell me.

You want a steak.

No, smartie, but I just happened to
remember

that Chinese restaurant we like so
much

isn't open on Monday nights.

Well, honey, there's a lot of Chinese
restaurants in town.

We'll go to another Chinese
restaurant.

Oh, I don't know. I don't want to go
to a strange...

Do you want a steak?

Oh...

No, I don't want a steak. No.

I just want to go anyplace-- anyplace
that I can eat--

anything at all, I don't care where
we go.

Well, let's go someplace that's new
and exciting.

There's a lot of ads in the paper.

Lucy.

Yeah, look, here's one right here.
Come here.

Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi...

This looks wonderful.

Look at this.

See?

Fred.

What do you think you're doing?

Well, this may take some time,

and I thought I'd better fortify
myself.

It's a nice restaurant.

Yes, it is, Lucy.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Stop whistling.

Well, I know what I want.

Let's get a waiter and order.

Oh, uh, waiter.

Waiter, we know what we want. Waiter?

He didn't see me.

Uh, waiter. Waiter, we're ready to...

Waiter?

I'll get him when he comes back.

I'll lay you three to one.

Oh, uh, waiter.

Waiter, dear!

Nice try.

He gets by me again over my dead
body.

Well, are we ready to order now?

Yes, we're ready to order.

I'd like roast beef, please.

Yeah, one roast beef.

Henry?

Uh, yes, pardon me just a second.

I'll be back in a moment.

Honey, that's the first time

that I heard you make up your mind
and order just like that.

Well, I happened to know what I
wanted.

Look, honey, there's an empty table

back there by the window.

Let's move back there.

Honey, what's wrong with this table?

Oh, but look, we have that nice view

while we're eating.
Come on!

Oh, now, Lucy!

Honey, now, wait a minute.

We got the silverware, the water,
everyth...

Oh, take the silverware with us. Come
on.

It's chilly.

Oh, come on.

Oh, this table is taken.

I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.

Come on.

Okay.

There we are.

See how much nicer it is over here?

There. Now, has everybody got
everything they need?

I've got three knives.

I b*at you, I got a full house--

three forks and a pair of spoons.

Give me a fork, Fred.

I'll give you a Kn*fe.

I got nothing.

And a spoon, Fred.

Okay, okay, I got it.

How's that?
Is that it?

Fine, fine.

Okay.
Oh, okay.
Fine.

Psst! Psst! Psst!

Henry.

Oh, there you are!

Yes, now, uh, where were we?

We were over there.

Never mind.

I ordered roast beef.

Eh, one roast beef.

And what would you like, Ethel?

I think I'll have the lamb chops.

One lamb chops.

What looks good to you, Rick?

Well...

Lamb chops, huh?

See, that sounds good.

They're not fattening either.

Would you mind changing my order to
lamb chops?

Two lamb chops.

That's two for each of us.

Yes.

Oh, an-and, uh, I don't want too much
fat on mine,

but I would like them extra thick.

Maybe you'd like to have me trot the
lamb by,

and you can pick out

the chops you want.

Well!

Lucy, please?

Go ahead, Rick, order somethin'.

Sirloin steak.

Uh, yes, sir.

How would you like it?

Rare.

Thick and juicy.

Yes, sir.
And you, sir?

Well, uh, let me see.

I believe I'm going to try the, uh...

Sirloin steak, huh?

How would you like it, madam?

Well, medium or rare?

Rare.

Pork chops.

Yes, sir.

Now, what would you like to drink?

Well, I...

You order last.

Um, coffee for me.

I'll have coffee, too.

Two coffees.

Milk.

Milk. Now, madam, what would you
like?

Pork chops, huh?

Would it be too much bother

to change my order to pork chops?

Why, no, madam.

Whatever gave you that idea?

I'd like two pork chops, please.

Very well.

Why don't you write it down?

I already did when he ordered it.

Now, let's see if I've got this
straight.

Lamb chops for you, sirloin steak for
you,

uh, pork chops for you, pork chops
for you,

and a new eraser for me.

You know, with all this talk about
pork chops, I...

Yeesh!

I guess I'll stick to lamb chops.

Now, how about shrimp cocktails all
around?

Uh...

That'd be fine.
Thank you very much.

Thank you, sir.

What did you do that for?

Honey, I'm sick and tired

of hearing you change your mind every
two seconds.

Well, I couldn't help it.

Everything everybody ordered sounded
so wonderful.

Fine thing, you come to a restaurant

and you can't even order what you...

Bless you!

You catching a cold, honey?

Well, there's a horrible draft in
here.

You want to change places with me?

Oh, no, that wouldn't do any good.

Oh, look, there's an empty table over
there.

Let's go over there.

Stand by for another troop movement.

Honey, we're going to stay right
here.

No, now, come on.
It's nice over th...

Sit down!

What do you want me to do?

Catch my death of cold?

No, but we came from there...

Well, then come on.
Come on over here.

There's no reason why we can't move
over here.

Why fight it?

Okay, here we go again.

See how much better it is over here?

Mm-mm-hmm.

I hate to sit in a draft.

All right, hon.

Oh, uh, we're over here now.

You see, we were over there, but
there was such a draft,

I couldn't...

Good morning, Lucy.

Hi.

What are you doing?

Oh, I've been cleaning out that
closet.

Oh.

I'm on a new regime.

I'm gonna finish everything I start.

I started cleaning out that closet
years ago.

Years ago?

Yeah, right after we were married.

You should see the stuff I found in
there.

I've just been reading some of my old
mementos.

Uh, Lucy, tell me something.

How did you happen to start on this
new regime?

Oh, I just thought it was the thing
to do.

Lucy, does anybody else on this floor

speak with an accent?

What do you mean by that?

Well, last night

when I was out in the hall changing a
lightbulb,

and I heard some Cuban

yelling at his wife

and saying that from now on,

she had to finish everything she
starts.

Ethel, do you sleep with your ears
under or over the covers?

Well, the walls of this apartment are
pretty thin.

He really was upset, wasn't he?

Wasn't he?

Why, his face turned absolutely
purple.

These walls are a lot thinner than I
thought.

Uh...

I mean, he sounded like it was
purple.

Oh.

Hey, listen to this.
I wrote this years ago.

"Dearest, darling Tom,

As long as I live, I can never forget
you."

Tom who?

I don't remember.

Oh, fine.

"Being with you the other night was
pure heaven.

Remember how we..."

Well, don't stop now.
Go on.

That's all there is.

Oh.

Oh, I remember now.

It was Tom Henderson.

And just as I was writing this
letter,

he called on the phone, we had a big
fight,

and I never finished it.

Oh.

Oh, I should never have fought with
him.

He now owns a swanky fur salon
downtown.

Oh, you fool.

Yeah.

Oh, well, so much for Tom Henderson.

Hey... I'm supposed to finish
everything I start, aren't I?

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Lucy, are you gonna finish that
letter?

Uh-huh.

Are you gonna mail it?

No.

Well, what's the use?
Who'll see it?

A certain purple-faced Cuban we both
know.

As long as he's so insistent that I
finish everything,

I'm going to have a little fun with
him.

Let's see now.

"Being with you the other night was
pure heaven.

"Remember how we...

"Remember how we...

laughed... and what fun we had?"

Hee, hee.

Uh, "See you for lunch tomorrow.
Love, Lucy."

Now, I'll just be finishing this when
Ricky comes in,

and I'll get all flustered when he
catches me, see?


Oh, Lucy, I wish you had a window in
your forehead

so I could peek in and watch those
wheels go 'round.

You'd better go now.

Ricky's gonna home for lunch any
minute.

Okay. Good luck.

Okay.

Well... oh, I... I...

Oh, Ethel!

Oh, I'm sorry, but I just got to
thinking it over.

Do you think this is safe,

what with Ricky's temper and all?

Oh, sure.

Well, good luck.

Okay.

Psst! Psst!

Hey, Rick.

Hiya, Fred.

I've been waiting for ya.

Yeah? What happened?

We men have to stick together.

What do you mean?

Ethel couldn't keep her big
blabbermouth closed,

so she told me a secret.

What's that?

Lucy found an old, unfinished love
letter.

Oh?

Yeah, but she finished it this
afternoon,

and now she's waiting to have a
little fun with you.

Is that so?

Yeah.

All right, Fred, thanks for telling
me.

I'll see you later.

All right.

Ha, ha, ha!

A little fun, eh?

Oh! Hi, honey.

Hi, honey.

Oh! Uh...

Uh... oh.

Uh, what you got there?

Where?

In back of you there.

Oh, nothing.

It-it's not for you to see.

Oh. Oh, it's a surprise for me, eh?

Uh, yeah.

Well, I can wait.

All right, all right.

You want me to see the letter, let me
have it.

No, no. I don't want you to see it!

Honey, you've been waving it around
like a flag.

Now, come on.
What is it?

Is it a bill?

No.

What are you laughing at?

Oh, this is very funny, this letter.

What's the gag?

It's no gag.

I guess I had to expect that sooner
or later,

you'd... find out.

Now, Lucy...

we've been married for years.

I know you like a book,

and every time you act like this,

you must have an interior motive.

"Ulterior," and I have not.

Come, come, now.

Are you by any chance

trying to get back at me for that
scolding

that I gave you the other night?

No, and you think you're so smart.

Lucy?

Well, I'm not!

That's just what it looks like.

It's, it's a letter to Tom Henderson.

Oh, Tom Henderson?

Yes. He's a big fur man downtown

and-and Tom and I used to go to
college together

and-and we used to go around a lot
together

and we've been seeing each other
since, that's all.

Oh, well, if that's all...

You don't believe me, do you?

Sure, honey, sure, I believe you,
yeah.

It's the truth!

Well, then, uh, you don't mind if I
mail the letter?

No. I-I wrote it to be mailed.

All right.

I'll mail it on my way to the club
tonight.

Go ahead and see if I care.

See if I care about anything that you
do!

I heard the voices being raised.

Oh, boy, is she mad.

What did you do?

I told her I was going to mail the
letter.

That's not cricket, old boy.

Are you really gonna mail it?

No. I'm just gonna to let her stew

in her own goose for a while.

What's the matter?

Nothing.

I know what you mean all right,

but I just never heard it put that
way before.

I don't know why you wanted to come
down here anyway.

Because Ricky mailed the letter.

I have to explain to Tom.

Okay. Come on.

Now, wait a minute.

I have to think what I'm going to
say.

I haven't seen Tom Henderson in
years.

He'll think I'm crazy.

Oh, he'll understand.

Well, I hope you're right.

Gee, Ethel, do you think I've changed
any in years?

I got a little older, huh?

Don't be silly.
Women don't get older.

They just mature a little.

Men get older.

Yeah. Well, of course, in Tom's case,

it won't make any difference.

He was so handsome to start with.

He was certainly a gorgeous hunk of
man.

Well, come on.

Hey, wait a minute.

You don't suppose that's Tom, do you?

Oh, he couldn't have changed that
much.

I'll have it for you Tuesday.

Good-bye, Mrs. Corner.

Good-bye, Mr. Henderson.

Mr. Henderson.

That must be Tom.

That's a gorgeous hunk of man?!

Looks like my hunk has shrunk.

Come on, let's forget the whole
thing.

Look!

Ricky and Fred!

Yeah. They must have followed us.

Well, let's make a run for it, huh?

No, honey, they've seen us. It's too
late.

Listen, you-you go in there and
pretend to buy a coat

or something get Tom out of the way.

What good will that do?

Go on. I'll think of something.

Okay.

I have just what you want, Mrs.
Mertz.

I've got one on display in the
window.

Uh, silver fox?

You know, Fred, I think this time

she's really jumped her trolley.

Looks like.

Oh, hi, Ricky.

How nice to see you, dear.

And don't bother turning around, Tom.

It's just my husband.

What's going on here?

Oh, uh, Tom was just going to teach
me a new dance step,

Weren't you, dear?

How's that go again now?

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two...

Is this your old boyfriend?

He isn't half the man he used to be.

Where, uh...
where is Tom Henderson?

Oh, Ricky, that letter was just a
gag.

You were so darn smart about it, you
made me mad, that's all.

Well, what... what about
this dummy routine?

Didn't you know this guy at all?

Sure I did, but when I knew Tom,

he was tall, dark and handsome.

I saw him today and he's short, bald
and dumpy.

You never would have stopped kidding
me about that.

Well, honey, I guess I was a little
cruel.

Listen, you'll have lunch with a
tall, dark

and handsome man anyway.

Come on. I'll take you.

Okay.

You know, it's a good thing he was a
funny-looking guy,

otherwise you'd be plenty worried by
now,

'cause I was gonna go through with
it.

Yeah, I don't have the slightest
doubt.

Oh, Lucy?

Yeah?

Lucy, we made an awful mistake.

This isn't Tom Henderson.

It's his brother, Harry.

Oh!

Tom!

Why, Lucy!
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