02x31 - Never Do Business With Friends

[bunniefuu]

Lucy?

Yes, dear?

Where are you?

Right here.

Where'd you go?

I'm here, I'm looking for you.

Well, wait there, I'll come back.

No, no.

Stay where you are, I'll find you.

I know this jungle better than you
do.

Dr. Livingstone, I presume.

What is all this?

The laundry.

I can't hang it outside today;

looks like rain.

Well, can you hang it someplace else

besides the kitchen?

Well, there's always the living room

or the front hall.

Well, I guess it is a problem.

I'll say it is.

It's an awful problem.

But it's one that you could solve

if you'd just say the word.

What word?

a*t*matic dryer.

That's two words, and I'd like to add
one more.

What would you like to add?

No.

Oh, now, Ricky, if I had a dryer

this wouldn't happen every time it
rains.

And there's a lot of rain ahead.

I read about it just the other day in
the almanac.

Look, honey, the answer is no.

Oh...

Dryers are too 'spensive.

They are not "spensive."

Not considering

all the backbreaking work they save.

I know, honey, I know...

carrying this heavy basket.

Up and down, up and down

my muscles straining, body all aching

and racked with pain.

Fold those shirts, lift those sheets,
up...

All right.

Now, look, Old Man River, will you
dry up?

Well...

How about some breakfast, huh?

I haven't fixed it yet.

How come?

I can't find the stove.

I know it's around here someplace

but I just haven't been able to find
it.

All right, all right, all right.

I'll eat downtown.

How do I get out of here?

I won't tell you.

Ay, Dios mío.

Esta mujer está completamente loca.

No sé lo que le pasa...

Hi, Lucy.

Hi.

Gee, it's taken this wash

a long time to dry.

This is my third batch.

Oh, you poor little thing.

Babies sure make a lot of laundry.

I'll say.

I've been trying to talk Ricky

into buying me an a*t*matic dryer

but he says they're too "spensive."

I'm surprised he doesn't want me

to go down to the river

and b*at the clothes clean on a
stone.

Well, at least you've got

a good washing machine.

How'd you like to do your wash

in that old relic of mine?

Honestly, I think it was the first
one ever made.

Yeah.

Ethel, you know what?

What?

I want a dryer.

I don't care how much it costs--

we can buy it on time or something

but I'm going to have a dryer.

Honey, I'm home.

Good, we can have this out right now.

Do you mind if I come with you?

Not at all, but why?

I want to watch your technique.

If it works, maybe I can use it

to get a new washing machine out of
Fred.

Be my guest.

Hi, honey.

Hi.

Hello, Ethel.

Hi, Ricky.

Ricky, I have something to say to
you.

Well, honey, I got something to tell
you.

Hold it, Buster, I'll do the talking
here.

I want a new dryer, understand?

Now, I know they're expensive

but we can buy it on time

and pay a little bit each week.

Well, honey, I bought a new washer
and dryer today.

You just don't realize what I go
through.

Up and down those stairs times a
day.

Up and down, up and down

down and up...

Lucy.

Poor little arms aching

so that I can hardly lift them.

Back breaking, shoulders stooped,
legs buckling...

New washer and dryer!

Ethel, did you hear that?

Yep, five minutes ago.

Oh, honey, you're wonderful.

Well, I got to thinking

that it is pretty rough on you

and I got a good deal.

Oh, honey, you're so thoughtful.

I love you.

Aren't they sweet?

Just like two lovebirds.

What are you, a bird watcher?

Fred, guess what?

Ricky's buying me

a new a*t*matic washer and dryer.

No kidding?

Yeah!

Well, it isn't as much as it sounds.

I got them wholesale

and the fellow's allowing me $

on our old washing machine.

Hey, wait a minute.

How'd you like to have a new washing
machine?

Oh, Fred, do you really mean it?

Sure, I'll buy you the Ricardos' old
one.

Old one?

You just said a new one.

Well, it'll be new to you.

Oh, fine.

All I ever get is hand-me-downs.

All right, if you don't want it, you
don't...

Oh, no, no, I'll take it.

We can give our old one

to the Smithsonian Institute.

Well, now, just a minute.

I-I-I don't think

this whole thing is any good.

Why not?

Well, my father told me many years
ago:

"Nunca hagas negocios

con amigos ni con parientes."

Your father said that?

Never mind.

It was good advice.

Well, will somebody please tell us
what it means?

It means, "Never do business

with friends or relatives."

Oh, honey, that's just silly.

It isn't silly.

Listen, people act in a very strange
way

when they're dealing with money.

Arguments about a business deal

could mean the end of our friendship.

Oh, you certainly don't think much of
our friendship.

Well, I do, too--

that's why I don't think it's a good
idea.

Now, you let me sell it to the dealer

and have him sell it to you.

Oh, that's fine.

You'll sell it to him for $

and he'll charge me $ .

Yeah, Ricky, if you sell it to us

you'll be saving us $ .

Yeah, the dealer might even charge
them $

and then you'd be saving them, uh...
$ .

Yeah.

And the dealer might even charge them
$

and then you'd be...

All right, all right.

Saving them probably...

All right, I get it, all right, all
right.

As much as a hundred...

Ricky, you'll be doing me a favor.

I'll never get a new washing machine

out of Secondhand Louie here.

Well, now, look.

Suppose that something goes wrong?

Oh, honey, what could go wrong?

We've had that machine for four years

and nothing's ever gone wrong.

What if some little thing does go
wrong?

I'm handy with tools, I could fix it.

Sure.

Oh, it can't affect our friendship.

Of course not.

Ethel, Fred...

you may have the machine.

For $ .

Oh, thanks, Ricky.

That's fine.

Great, I'll go and make out the
check.

Oh, wait, wait, Fred.

Now, there's no hurry.

Okay.

Let's move the machine right now

over to our apartment, huh?

Are you finished with it, Lucy?

They're delivering

the new one in the morning.

Okay!

Come on, let's go and get it.

I'll help you, Fred.

Now, Ricky, Ricky, be careful, don't
scratch it.

It might ruin our friendship.

All right....

All through the
summer

Plants blooming all alone

La-di-da-di-di-di-di-di

La-di-da-da-di-di-di

No rose... la-da-da-da

La-da-di-di-da-da-da

Da-da-da-di

La-di-da-da...

Oh, it's you.

I thought there was something wrong
with the washing machine.

Oh.

How about some lunch?

I'm fixing you a sandwich.

Good, I'm hungry.

Good.

La-di-di-da...

Hi.

Oh, hi, honey.
Oh, hi, Luce.

Come on in.
Come on.

Oh, have you got the little doll with
you?

Yeah.

Oh, hello, honey.

Say "hi."

Look at that little champion.

Get the dukes up, Champ.

Look out, now, Fred.

He's stronger than you are, you know.

I just came up to see

how my washing machine was doing.

You mean my washing machine.

Oh, that's right, I forgot.

Oh, Lucy, it's just wonderful.

It washes everything so fast

I've run out of things to wash.

Really?

As a matter of fact

I was just getting ready to ask Fred

to go out someplace and get dirty.

Oh, hi.

Hi, Rick.

I thought I'd find you here.

Hi, honey.

I didn't expect you home so soon.

I'll go get your lunch, dear.

Oh, no, stay and eat with us.

Yeah.

Oh, no.

Oh, I got cold cuts and everything.

You sure you got enough?

Anybody from Albuquerque

has always had enough to eat.

Oh, we've got everything.

Well, I love it.

Bologna, salami...

Put the baby right there.

Oh, just put everything in there.

Sit down here.

Oh, I love it.

What kind of meat, Ricky?

I wonder what that is.

Yeah, honey...

I always forget to get the butter.

Hey, it's the washer!

What's the matter with this thing?

What's the matter with it, Fred?

I don't know!

Pull the plug out!

The plug!

Pull the plug out, Fred!

Pull the plug!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh, dear.

Gee, honey, this never happened
before, did it?

Never, never.

Gee, Fred, that's too bad.

Yeah, this is really a mess.

It's a good thing we found out in
time.

I'll say.

Yeah.

Found out in time for what?

I mean before the deal went through.

What do you mean, "before the deal
went through"?

Yeah.

Well, I hope you don't think

we're buying this piece of junk.

You already bought it!

I did not.

No money changed hands.

You took possession of the
merchandise.

That's the same thing!

Yeah!

I told you we shouldn't have sold it
to them.

You didn't.

Not much, I did.

You're going to pay me

for this washing machine!

He is not.

He is too.

He is not.

He is too!

He is not!

I mean, I am not!

You're not going

to unload this lemon on us.

Lemon?

Mira que tiene el coraje de decirle a
uno ahora

que no quieren comprar la máquina de
lavar.

Yeah.

Oh...

I can see it all now.

They knew this was a bum machine.

They knew it didn't have any trade-in
value

so they cagily planned to palm it off
on us.

Palm it off!

You begged us to let you have it.

Begged!

Yeah, begged!

He says, "I'm a very handy man with
tools.

If anything go wrong, I can fix it."

"A mí no
me importa nada."

"It won't harm our friendship a
little bit."

No... yeah-- some friendship!

That was before we knew you were
cheating us.

Cheating!?
Cheating!?

There's been no cheating

but there's been plenty of welching.

Welching?!
Welching?!

I'll thank you to haul

this hunk of junk out of our kitchen!

It is immaterial to me, Mr. Mertz

what you do with your old appliances

after you ruin them.

Well said.

Thank you.

Come on, Lucy.

And I shall expect the check

in the mailbox in the morning

or I'll see my lawyer.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah!

Oh, no, you don't, Mrs. Mertz.

You put that machine

in front of your own door.

I'd be very happy to, Mrs. Ricardo

only that this happens to be your
washing machine.

Oh, no.

Oh, no, you don't.

Put it right over there
where it belongs.

Oh!

Mrs. Ricardo!

Yoo-hoo, Mrs. Ricardo!

Mrs. Ricardo!

I'm out here!

Oh, my, your front door was open,
Mrs. Ricardo.

Well...

Good morning, Mrs. Mertz.

Good morning.

What are you doing?

We're moving Mrs. Mertz's washing
machine

in front of her door.

No... we're moving

Mrs. Ricardo's washing machine

in front of her door.

Well, if you don't mind my saying so

you're doing it the hard way.

What's the matter?

You seem to be angry

with each other.

I'll tell you what's the matter.

Truce?

Truce.

I'll tell you exactly what happened.

Ricky bought me a new washing
machine.

And the Mertzes insisted on buying
our old one

and then they got it over into their
place.

They ruined it and they refuse to pay
for it.

Oh, that isn't the way it happened at
all.

As a favor to them, we allowed
ourselves

to be talked into buying this piece
of junk

and when we got it home, it fell
apart.

What do you mean, it fell apart?

What do you mean, we talked you into
it?

Oh, that's...

You practically begged.

Now, now, now, now!

Ladies, calm down.

You begged!

That's what you did, you begged!

You begged us to.

That's what you did, you begged!

Why, Mrs. Ricardo

your temper is as hot as your red
hair.

What about hers?

Oh, mine's as cold as your dark
roots.

Well!

Well, now...

Now, now, listen, let's see a minute.

There ought to be some way

to settle this in a friendly manner.

There... there is.

They can pay us our friendly $ .

What?

Well, now, now wait just a minute.

I'll tell you.

I have a nephew

who works in an appliance business.

I'll ask him to look at it.

Maybe he can fix it.

How about that?

Don't ask me, it isn't my machine.

She can do anything she wants to with
her washing machine.

It is none of my business.

Oh, she makes me so darn mad.

Oh, you two.

Well, I just came up to tell you

that I'll be able to baby-sit

with little Ricky this afternoon.

Oh, well, thank you, Mrs. Trumbull.

I'm very happy that you can, because
I...

How is it, Joe?

Anything serious?

Oh, I think we can pull her through,
Aunt Matilda.

Oh.

But I think somebody's confused.

This is a washing machine.

They've been trying to use it

as a garbage disposal.

Well... that's strange.

How much will it cost to fix it?

Oh, seeing it's your friends

about a dollar and a half.

Say, they wouldn't want to sell this,
would they?

I don't know.

I'll give them bucks for it.

Well, I'll tell them

and let you know what they say.

I... I better go look after the baby
now.

So long, Joe.

Good-bye, Aunt Matilda.

Oh, are you the man fixing the
machine?

Yeah, that's right.

It's a wreck, isn't it?

No, it's in pretty good shape.

It can be fixed up.

Oh, yeah?

Say, you don't know if they'd like to
sell that machine, do you?

Sell it?

Yeah, whoever owns it, I'll give them
bucks for it.

Uh... uh...
it, um... it, uh...

It belongs to my husband and me

but I don't know

whether he'd want to sell it so
cheap.

Have you spoken to the Ricardos?

Ricardos-- who are they?

You don... oh...

Never mind, I'll call you.

Have you got a card?

Oh.

There you are.

Oh, thanks, well, I'll let you know

if my husband decides to sell it.

It's such a good machine.

Yeah.

Okay, good-bye.

Good-bye.

Fred! Fred!

Hi, Mrs. Trumbull.

Well, hello, Mrs. Trumbull.

How'd little Ricky behave?

Like an angel.

I gave him his bottle

and he went right back to sleep.

That's good.

I wanted to talk to you

about your washing machine.

Oh, you mean the Mertzes' washing
machine.

Well, whoever it belongs to...

It belongs to the Mertzes.

Yes, that's right.

Well, my nephew says he'll pay $
for it.

He'll pay $ for our washing
machine?

That's what he said.

Well, uh... did...

did you speak to Ethel about it,
uh...?

No, no, I haven't told her yet.

Well... well, don't bother, dear.

I'll... tell her for you.

Thank you so much.

It's all right.

Let me know if they decide to sell
it.

Oh, yes, yes, I will.

Thanks very much for coming down.

I hope little Ricky wasn't too much
trouble.

Wasn't any trouble at all.

Thank you, Mrs. Trumbull.

Good-bye.

Good-bye.

Ricky!

Oh, my gosh!

I'm glad the Mertzes didn't buy it
now.

This is perfect.

We will go tell them

that we will relieve them of their
obligation.

Isn't this wonderful?

I can't believe it.

Hi.

Well.

Lucy.

Ethel.

Hiya, Fred.

Nice to see you.

Come on in, sit down.

Oh, no, you sit down.

No, you sit down, Fred.

I'd rather...

No, I want you to be comfortable.

Sit down, Fred.

Thank you.

My, but it's good to see you.

Oh, it's good to see you, too.

You know, we've been talking over

this silly washing machine situation.

Oh, so have we.

Isn't that a coincidence?

Well, we did act pretty terrible.

Yeah, we're ashamed of ourselves

and we want to apologize.

Oh, it's not...

Ricky, here's your check.

Well, now...
look here, old man

you really don't...

No, no, no, we couldn't take your
check.

Well, why not?

Why, we just wouldn't expect you

to pay for a washing machine

that wasn't any good.

Oh, nonsense.

I'm a man of my word

and a deal's a deal.

Here, Ricky.

No, no, no, no.

No, sir, no, no, no.

Not when I tried to palm off some
faulty merchandise on you.

No, I couldn't.

No, we wouldn't let you pay for it.

To tell you the truth, we knew it
would break down.

Why, we're practically swindlers.

That's right, yeah.

Oh, no.

We tried to welch on a perfectly
legitimate deal.

Give him the money, Fred.

Yes, sir.

You've got to take the check.

Come on, now, Ricky

you've got to take the money...

There you are.

Oh, no, you don't, Ricky.

No, no.

No, no.

Now, Ethel, you just take this check.

Oh, no, you don't.

No, no...

Now, look, Fred, I don't want it.

Oh!

Come on, Ethel

let's get our washing machine!

Okay.

Now, there's your check.

Now, look, Fred, I don't want it!

Fred, I won't sell it to you!

Hurry up.

Fred... Fred!

Ricky, let go of our washing machine.

Oh, no.

Let go of it!

Fred, I won't want you to get stuck
with it.

I want to get stuck!

You don't want it.

Lucy, would you kindly take your
hands

off of my washing machine?

Why should I take my hands off your
washing machine

when it belongs to us?

Look what happened to your washing
machine.

Our washing machine?

Certainly.

You said it was your washing machine.

You said you were ashamed...

Pardon me, I was up here this
afternoon

looking at a washing machine.

I offered bucks for it.

I spoke to you.

Yeah, I know.

Well, I got a buyer for it.

He'll go as high as $ .

Seventy-five...?

Oh, no...!

They'd pay seventy...

For that thing!

Oh, no, I don't believe it.

What's the matter...

What's the matter with you people?

Are you all nuts or something?

Oh, my.

I'll tell you what I'll do, Fred.

I'll split the cost of the rail with
you.

Okay, and I'll give you $ .

for half of that washing machine.

Oh, that's a good idea.

Here's your check.

You see, I knew

nothing could ever affect our
friendship.