06x11 - Lucy and the Loving Cup

[bunniefuu]

"Lucy and the Loving Cup"

RICKY: Now, ladies and gentlemen, as
a tribute

to Johnny Longden wonderful riding
accomplishments,

the National Turf Association wishes
to present him

with this beautiful trophy.

Applause, applause, applause,

applause, applause, applause,
applause...

The inscription read

"Presented by National Turf
Association

"to Johnny Longden,

"the winningest jockey of all time--

, victories."

There you are, Johnny.

Thank you, Ricky.

My pleasure, Johnny.

And I wish to add my congratulations

and the congratulations

of everybody here at the Club Babalu.

Applause, applause, applause,
applause...

Oh. Hi.

Oh, Ricky, that's a wonderful speech.

That's the one you're gonna make

at the big affair tonight, huh?

Yeah. Sound all right?

Yeah, it sounded great.

Oh, good.

I'm so proud they asked me to be the
emcee, you know.

You should be.
Yeah.

Where's Lucy?

She went shopping.

I told her to go buy a new hat

and a new dress for the banquet.

Would you say that again?

I told her to buy a new hat and a new
dress.

In the years I've been married,

I have never heard that phrase
before.

Oh, now, Ethel,

I know that Fred is a little tight,

but I know that if an important
occasion

came around, he would loosen up.

He wouldn't tell me to go buy a new
dress

Hi!

Oh, hi, Fred.

Well, Rick, I see you picked up the
trophy.

Yeah.
Isn't that a beauty?

Listen to this, Fred.

Yeah.

" , victories."

Isn't that great?

Great? It's terrible.

What do you mean?

I didn't have a buck

on any one of them.
Oh, Fred...

I didn't.

LUCY: Well, hi.

Hi.
Hi, honey.

What'd you get?
What'd you get?

Oh, wait till you see, Ethel.

Wait till you see...

Oh, honey, you got the cup.

Isn't that a beauty?

Oh, it's beautiful.
Huh?

Oh, he's gonna be thrilled with that.

Yeah. The engraver did a beautiful
job.

Uh-huh!

Come on, honey, open up.

Let's see what you bought.

Okay.
Oh, listen, dear.

I have a lot of business to do uptown

before I go to the banquet,

and I don't want to lug that cup
around with me,

so will you bring it down?

Sure, honey.
Now, look.

The banquet starts at : , so don't
be late.

No, I won't be late, dear.
All right.

Come on, let me see your new dress!

All right, calm down.

You're acting like you never saw a
new dress before.

Who's acting?

(gasping)

How do you like it?

Oh, it's gorgeous!

Honey, how do you like it?

Oh, it's beautiful.

Looks like a million dollars.

That's probably what it cost.

It was only . .

To him, that's a million dollars.

Honeybunch, can I help it

if I think of you as my dungaree
doll?

Ethel, wait till you see my new hat.

Let me see.
It's the smartest thing you ever saw.

Come on, let me see it.
Let me see it.

Well, you really have to see it on to
appreciate it,

so close your eyes, everybody.

All right.

Open your eyes, everybody.

Close your eyes, everybody.

Oh, Fred, shut up.

Honey, it's adorable.

How do you like it, dear?

Well, it's uh... uh...

(both laughing)

(still laughing)

What are you laughing at?

Oh, honey,

that's the funniest thing I ever
seen.

I'll say it is.

Looks like you're wearing a fuzzy
fishbowl.

Now, honey,

don't you pay any attention to them.

It's divine.

Yeah, who cares what they think?

They don't know what's smart.

Well, I may not know what's smart,

but I know what's funny.

And that's funny.

I don't care what you think.

It may interest you two hyenas

to know that this is the latest style
from Paris.

Oh, no.

I think it's the end, the very end.

The end of what?

I don't care what you think,

I'm gonna wear it to the dinner
tonight.

Oh-ho, no, you're not.

My wife is not gonna look ridiculous

in front of all those people.

I do not look ridiculous.

You do, too.

You'll be better off wearing...

wearing that trophy on your head.

You wouldn't look half as funny.

Well, honey, all the new hats look
like this.

Well, then, wear one of your old
hats.

Wear an old hat to the banquet

in front of Johnny Longden and his
wife and everybody?

Look, Lucy, I don't care what you
wear,

but don't wear that.
Mommy.

I gotta go.
What dear?

I need a bigger box for my turtle.

A bigger box?

Oh, wait just a minute.
I'll get you one, honey.

Now, Ricky, I'm giving you one last
chance.

Can I wear this hat?

I'm giving you one last answer-- no.

Hey, this is a swell new house for my
turtle.

Hey, stop him!

He can't put his turtle

in that thin'.

Oh, Ricky, Ricky, honey, come here,
dear.

You can't put your turtle in that
thin'.

Isn't that funny, Fred?

Women will buy anything if it's in
fashion.

They certainly will.

How would you know?

You haven't bought me anything since
bloomers were in style.

Oh, good grief.

Ethel, if you're gonna play that same
old tune

on your player piano, I'm going home.

Well, twenty-three skidoo.

(laughing): I'll see you later, Fred.

All right.

Honey, I'll see you

down at the banquet!
I gotta go.

LUCY: Wait a minute, dear.

I want you to see the hat that I
decided to wear.

Okay, honey.

Now, what do you think you're doing?

You said I might as well wear this,
and I think I will.

Very, very funny.

Now, take that thing off your head

and bring it down to the club in
time.

Oh...
Good-bye.

Hey, you're cold.

That was a nice try, girl.

Yeah.
I'll see you later.

I got a lot to do.

Ethel...

Ethel, help me get out of this,

will you? It's a little tight.

Oh... Ooh! Ooh!

Oh, Ethel, I think it's stuck.

Oh, this could only happen to you.

What did you say?

This could only happen to you.

Speak up. I can't hear in this thing.

(shouting): This could only hap...

Oh, don't shout.
It echoes in here.

Oh, honey, I'm sorry.

Here. Come here, honey.

Now, now, just bend over.

I'll, I'll get some...

Okay. Ready?

(grunting): Ethel!

Oh, Lucy, it won't come off!

What am I gonna do?

Well, we could always butter your
head.

Now, let's not be funny.

I gotta get this thing off.
Now, think.

Okay.

Oh, gosh.

Of all the things.

(sighs)

Are you thinking, Ethel?

Yeah, I'm thinking.

(laughing)

What are you laughing at?

Oh, you don't know how funny you look
in that thing.

Well, this is no laughing matter.
Now, think.

Oh, all right.

Lucy, does heat make metal contract
or expand?

I think it makes it expand. Why?

Then that's it. We'll stick your head
in the oven.

In the oven?!

Yeah. The trophy will get bigger,

and then your head will be free.

Oh, great. Why don't you put an apple
in my mouth

and barbecue me?

I guess it wouldn't work, huh?

No, I guess it wouldn't work.

Hey, I got another idea.

It'd better be better than your last
one.

Wait a minute now.

Just a second.

Ah! Oh! What are you doing, Ethel?!

I'm trying to loosen it like the lid
on a jar.

Oh, cut it out, Ethel!

You're giving me a headache.

Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
Oh!

Boy, this is a tough one.

Ethel, are you gonna stay over here
all winter?

Oh, Fred, come here and see if you
can help us.

Wait till I tell the boys in my old
outfit

that the Kaiser is still alive.

This is no time for your corny jokes.

We can't get that thing off of Lucy's
head.

You gotta be kidding.

I am not kidding.

(crying)

Now, honey, honey, don't cry.

It'll only make things worse.

Yeah, it might get the trophy rusty.

Fred, what are we gonna do?

Well, we could get a silversmith

and cut it off with a blowtorch.

A blowtorch?!

Or whatever they use.

Then you can weld it back together
again.

Oh, dear. Can't you think of an
easier way?

You'd better think fast,

or you'll wind up wearing it to the
banquet.

He's right, honey. You haven't got
much time.

Oh, no... What time is it, Ethel?

It's : .

Oh, I'd better call the silversmith,

tell him to come over right away.

I'll do it, I'll do it for you,
honey.

A silversmith, a silversmith...

(sighs)

I'm not even gonna ask you how this
happened.

Thank you.

(huffing)

What are you doing?

What are you doing, Fred?

You can't give Johnny Longden a
trophy

all full of fingerprints.

Oh, sit down now.

Hello. Is this the silversmith?

Can you get a loving cup off of a
woman's head?

Huh?

Oh, well, she bought a new hat, and I
thought it was...

Oh, never mind how she got it on
there.

Can you come up here and get it off?

Oh, well, now, just a minute.

Lucy, he's gonna close his shop in a
half an hour,

and he says if you want him to take
it off,

you'll have to come down there.

Go down there?

How am I gonna get there?

I'll take you.

Oh, all right.

All right. She'll be right down.

Mrs. Ricky Ricardo.

Huh?

Oh, you won't have any trouble
recognizing her.

Lucy, his shop's way down on Bleecker
Street,

so you'll have to go right from there

to the banquet.

Oh, oh, Fred, Fred...

Yeah?
Oh, ooh, Fred,

run down and hail a taxi for us right
away.

All right.

Just a minute.

Honey, a taxi will take too much
time.

The subway will be faster.

I can't go on a subway like this.

Do you want to get to that banquet or
don't you?

Oh, all right, all right.

Fred... Is Fred gone?

Answer her!

Oh, I'm here!

Fred, Fred, would you stay with
Little Ricky.

You can finish reading Cinderella to
him.

Yeah, I'll go and get my specs.

I can hardly wait to see who that
glass slipper belongs to.

Honey, I'd better go change my
clothes, too.

I can't go on a subway dressed like
this.

Well, if I can go like this,

you certainly can go like that.

In my blue jeans?

Ethel, with a loving cup on my head,

I hardly think anybody will be
looking at your blue jeans.

Lucy, I have never ridden on a subway
in my blue jeans,

and I'm not gonna start now.

Okay.

Oh, boy, I look terrible.

(sighs)

(sighs)

What on earth are you trying to do
now?

If I have to go from the
silversmith's to the banquet,

I want to wear my new dress.

Oh, well, let me try to help you,
honey.

Uh, get over here.

Over here, Lucy.

I'll get up on the couch

so I can... I can pull it better from
there.

Here, honey. Right here.

Turn around.

Ready, set... go!

Ahh!

Oh, Ethel!

Oh, Lucy, we can't get it up over
that loving cup.

I want to wear my new dress.

Okay, honey, we'll take your dress
along

and you can change down there.

Oh, okay.

Say... we'd better get a big hat or
something

to cover that thing in the subway.

A big hat?

Yeah. You got one?

There might be one in the box in the
closet.

Okay, I'll look.

Right there.
Stay right there.

Ethel, are people staring at me?

No, they're not paying much attention
to you.

What'd you say?

I said they're not staring at you.

You'll have to speak up, honey.

With this hat and the cup and the
veil and everything,

I can't hear you.

(shouting): I said they're not
staring at you!

Ethel, are you still there?

Yeah, I'm still here. Why?

Well, I have a feeling you're trying
to pretend

you're not with me.

I'm right here beside you.

Okay.

What are you staring at?

Haven't you ever seen a beekeeper

on a subway before?

Smart aleck.
Who was it?

Just some smart aleck.

What did he say?
He's going away.

He's going away.
Did he go away?

This is Bleecker Street, honey.

Here's where we get off.

Come on.

Ethel, are we on or off?

Ethel?

Ethel!

Ooh, pardon me.

Pardon me, sir.

Very sorry, sir.

Oh, excuse...

Pardon me. Can you tell me

where the stairs are?

Well, you'd better get off the train
first.

I am off.

You're telling me.

Oh, pardon me.

Can you tell me where I am?

Yeah. You're on Earth.

Pardon me.

Where am I?

Where are you?

What are you?

What's the matter with everybody?

Haven't you ever seen anybody

with a loving cup on their head
before.

No, I haven't,

and I've lived in Brooklyn for
years.

Brooklyn?
Am I in Brooklyn?

Yes, you are.

Flatbush Avenue.

Oh, dear.

Would you do a favor for me?

Would you, would you make a telephone
call for me?

There's something I have to tell my
husband.

Yes, dearie, anything you say.

Oh, thank you.

If you would call Plaza -

and ask for Ricky Ricardo-- he's my
husband--

and tell him that I have the cup,

but I put my foot in it again.

I mean, I put my head in it.

J-J-Just tell him I have the cup and
I'm on my way

and tell Johnny Longden to hold his
horses.

Hold his horses.

(laughing loudly)

Oh, boy, that's funny, isn't it?

(nervous chuckle)

That's hilarious.

Now, maybe it's a little hard for you
to understand,

but my husband will understand.

Now, if you'll just call Plaza
- ,

ask for Ricky Ricardo

and tell him Lucy's on the way with
the cup.

Oh, dear, I can't find a dime.

Just take what you need.

Thanks, lady.

Who's that?

Where's that lady I was talking to?

Where'd everybody go?

Maybe it's a sorority initiation.

Either that, or she played tennis

with a sore loser.

Would a policeman be of any help?

Oh, good grief, no.

Don't get a policeman.

You know how nosy they are.

Always asking those foolish questions

and then instead of helping after
you've gone all...

explaining for a half an hour,

all they do is just mess things up.

Don't get a policeman.

Thank you very...

Listen, if you could direct me to
a...

If...

Uh, yeah. Would, would, would you get
me

one of those wonderful, kindhearted
policemen?

One of those

guardians of the law

in this great city?

One of those grand chaps that I...

Just what do, what do you think
you're doing?

Well, Officer, sir...

You see, sir...

Officer, sir...

Uh... uh...

Now, you're not gonna believe this...

...but a very funny thing happened to
me

on the way to a banquet tonight.

Now, ladies and gentlemen,

before we start our official
presentation,

I'd like you to say hello to our
guest of honor.

Of course you all know

the man that has won more races

than any other jockey in the entire
world--

Johnny Longden.

(applause)

(applause continues)

(applause trickles off)

And his very lovely and charming
wife,

Mrs. Hazel Longden.

(applause)

And now, as a tribute to Johnny's
great accomplishment

in the racing world,

the National Turf Association

is very proud to present to him...

We're about to present to him...

uh...

a very lovely trophy.

Oh, wait till you see it.

It's really beautiful.

And we do have a trophy, you know.

(nervous chuckle)

I saw it.
I had it in my hands once.

Well, the trophy should be here
shortly

and, uh, while we're waiting for the
trophy, uh...

I-I'll tell you a story.

I've got a wonderful story about a
turtle.

And, uh...

Oh, pardon me.
Are you Ricky Ricardo?

Yes?

Well, I got a, uh...

Well, there's a woman out there.

Claims she's your wife.

My wife?

Yeah. She's got a loving cup stuck on
her head.

That's my wife.

You have my deepest sympathy.

Thank you.

Seems to be in a little mishap.

(strained laughter)

Oh, no.

I tried to get it off.

Yes, that's all right, dear.

There, this is the trophy, ladies and
gentlemen,

right along with my wife, Lucy.

(applause)

Very funny.

(Ricky chuckling nervously)

And now for the presentation, ladies
and gentlemen.

This is the trophy, and I'd like you
to read the...

I'd to read the inscription to you,
Johnny.

The inscription...

Uh, would you mind, dear,

if you'd just put your head down?

Thank you very much.

Back up again.

Again.

"Presented by National Turf
Association

"to Johnny Longden, the winningest
jockey

of all time-- , victories."

There you are, John.

(applause)

Well, Ricky, that's, that's a great
honor,

and that's a nice cup.

I'm sure it will look good in my...
trophy... collection,

but what am I gonna do with your
wife?

Well, Johnny, that's been my problem

for years.
Now it's yours.

Oh, Ricky.

Down, girl.

Can I get a sh*t of you two with that
trophy?

Why, sure.
Hold the cup

over there, Johnny. That's it.

All right, now, a great big smile.

All right.

Not you. Down.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you, Johnny.

(closing orchestral flourish playing)

ANNOUNCER: "I Love Lucy"

starring Lucille Ball

and Desi Arnaz

has been presented for your pleasure

by Instant Sanka,

the hearty coffee you can drink as
strong as you like,

it still can't upset your nerves.

("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)

"I Love Lucy" is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz

will be back next week at this same
time.

ANNOUNCER : Stay tuned for December
Bride starring Spring Byington,

which follows immediately over most
of these same stations.