03x03 - He's All That

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Sydney to the Max". Aired: January 25, 2019 to present.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise


Series follows middle schooler, Sydney who lives with her single Dad and her progressive Grandmother as she navigates life.
Post Reply

03x03 - He's All That

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ ♪

hey, guys! Maybe we should
wait for emmy to get here

before we mask up.

It's already been half an hour.

Yeah. Self-care
waits for no one.

You're right. My pores are
growing bigger by the second.

-(computer beeping)
-oh! That's probably emmy.

-Syd?
-Harry!


What happened to your face?

Sorry about that.

Uh, just having a spa
night with my friends.


Hi, friends.

Olive/sophia:
Hi!

So, what's up?
Isn't it the middle of
the night in london?

Yeah.

But I couldn't wait to
tell you the big news.


We're moving
back to portland,
for good this time!

Wow!

Harry, that's so...

Wow.

I know! I'm so pumped.
I'll see you in a few days.


-Can't wait.
-Bye, olive and sophia.


Olive/sophia:
Bye!

Dad!

Are my minutes up?
Because I feel like

my blackheads could
use an extra five.

No, harry called.
He's moving back to portland.

-His dad, too?
-The whole fam.

Oh, this is great!
I get my old bud back!

-I gotta go video call rand man.
-Uh, dad?

I know, I know.
I'll comb my hair.

Syd, this is amazing!
Harry's back!

And you still like-like him, right?

I do. And now,
he's gonna live here.

They're not lying.
These masks really
do work miracles.

♪ Do, do, do, do ♪

(theme music playing)

like father, like daughter,
we don't always agree

but looking at you
is like looking at me

the more things change,
the more they stay the same

like father, like daughter,
from different times

taking all the best
from your decade and mine

the more things change

the more they stay
the same

♪ do, do, do-do, do, do ♪

♪ do, do ♪

♪ the more they stay
the same ♪


♪ ♪

I think the right earring
feels wrong,

but the left earring
feels right. Am I wrong?

Syd, why are you so nervous?

Because...

Harry only said he like-liked me
when he knew he was leaving.

Maybe he's a like-like and leaver.

Are you kidding?
He called you

in the middle of the night
to tell you he's moving.

But, six months is a long time
to be away from each other.

Which is why when he gets here,

he'll tell you how much he missed you

and wanna spend every
second with you.

And he'll be on a horse.

With a string quartet.

Maybe the quartet's on a horse.

Ooh! I wonder if he'll
let me ride the horse!

There's not gonna be
a quartet on a horse.

Not with that attitude.

Wait. I know what
harry will be giving you!

-The macaroni necklace!
-Right!

The one you made him
at camp and gave to him

to keep close to his heart.

There's no way he's
not bringing that.

You know, maybe you guys are right.

Now, I just need to
choose an earring.

-Left it is.
-Girls: Uh...

Just testing you.
I'm going right!

Girls:
Ah!

♪ ♪

oh! Max, thank
goodness you're here.

Wow. I don't usually hear
that when I enter a room.

Honestly, it feels a little wrong.

Come on, max, help me out!

We've got boxes to unpack,

the crush-a-mole keeps getting stuck,

and someone put gum in
the change machine again!

Wasn't your dad gonna hire
someone new to help out?

Hasn't had time.

My uncle, aunt,
and cousin just moved here

and are living with us
until they find a place.

Between that
and the craziness here,
it's like let a leo live!

Wait, which cousin? Alisha?

The one who came to my
birthday party? She was cool.

Yeah, until you have to
share a bathroom with her.

The girl shows zero respect
for my morning prep time.

You think this hair does itself?

Well, if it does, it doesn't
know what it's doing.

What? It was fine
when I left the house!

(laughs) I'm just messing
with you, cuz. Hey, max!

Hey, alisha. I see you're
still up to no good.

If you have a gift, you gotta use it.

(banging)

great.
The crush-a-mole's stuck again.

I got this. This used
to happen all the time

at the arcade back home.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

(machine rattles)

um, this is where you clap, boys.

That was awesome!

Alisha, you should work here!

Alisha:
Really?

I'd love to!
What do you say, cuz?

-Hooray...
-(alisha laughs)

great. I can't wait
to tell my folks.

Max, what did you do that for?

It's bad enough she's at
my school and at my house.

Now, she's gonna be here? Ugh!

She's like a human crush-a-mole.

Everywhere I go, she pops up!

Come on! She's got skills.
Plus, we need someone.

And maybe if alisha's at work,

she'll spend less
time in your bathroom

and you can finally
get your hair right.

(gasps) I thought you
guys were kidding!

Is it flat?
Is it crooked?

Oh, I'm taking an early lunch.
Don't look at me!

♪ ♪

♪ happy happy kitchen song,
sing it while I cook along ♪

♪ I chop and mix
and bake and fry ♪

♪ and sing a song,
don't ask me why ♪

aw, you're singing alisha's
happy happy kitchen song.

Fyi, I liked it
better when she sang it.

So did I, but it's back
for a special occasion.

The rand man's coming over.

Oh good!

So, the man who loved
monster truck rallies

and belching is coming over.

I can't wait! Oh yes, I can.

See ya.

(doorbell rings)

-rand man!
-Max att*ck! (laugh)

-harry, great to see you.
-You, too, mr. Reynolds.

Syd! Harry's here!

You know, maybe we should
give them a little privacy.

(whispers):
Good idea.

-Hidigarry!
-Sydigid!

Wow, I can't believe
you're really here!

-It's so good to see you.
-It's so good to see you, too.

I can't tell you how much
I've missed portland.

Right. Portland.
Who wouldn't miss portland?

Oh! I just remembered.

-I brought you something.
-I had a feeling.

The pen I accidentally
took to london!

Don't you hate it when people
don't return your pens?

Yeah, it's...
Super disappointing.

But, uh, thanks.

Kinda thought it would
be something that...

I made for you when I was
really young. It's...

Kinda starchy?

Oh, the macaroni necklace.

I probably tossed it
in one of my suitcases.

No prob. Yeah,
I'm trying to cut back

on food jewelry anyway, so...

(doorbell rings)

pizza's here.
Get it while it's hot.

Okay, get it while
it's room temperature.

Whoa! What's all this for?

Oh, for dinner.
I got your favorite.

Four anchovy
peanut butter banana pies.

I'm not one to judge but, dude,
that sounds delicious.

Way to go, guy I don't know.

Max, it's really so nice of you,

-but we can't stay for dinner.
-Sydney: Really?

Yeah. We were actually just
stopping by for a quick hello.

Oh. Okay, well maybe
we can hang tomorrow?

Yeah, maybe.
Let me check
and get back to you.

Oh. Okay.

Well, randy,

come back any time.
Day or night.

I'm here. Call me?

Well.

That did not go as expected.

Sure didn't.

So, you want any of this
extremely gross pizza?

Sure don't.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(knocking)

leo! Just in time.
Dinner's almost ready.

Oh good. I'm starving.

By the way, I'm sorry I gave
you a hard time about alisha.

So what if she works at the arcade?

It's not like she's everywhere.

♪ Happy happy kitchen song,
sing it while you cook along ♪

oh hey, leo.

Alisha, what are you doing here?

Max forgot his jacket at the arcade,

and when I came to return it,

he invited me to stay for dinner.

Mm, of course, because
everybody likes alisha.

♪ I chop and mix
and bake and fry ♪

♪ and sing a song,
don't ask me why ♪

-hey, leo.
-Hey, look at you, ms. Reynolds.

Singing alisha's
happy happy kitchen song,

which she sings nonstop,

every minute in the house,
and it's such... A joy.

Leo, wait until you try my
first homemade chicken parm.

It might actually be his
first homemade anything.

And it might actually be edible

-thanks to me and alisha.
-(alisha giggles)

-mom.
-Fine, thanks to alisha.

I gotta say, being awesome
runs in your family.

Alisha is so much fun.

I know! Isn't she?
In fact, she's so much fun,

sometimes a man needs
a break! I'll see you.

♪ ♪

-olive: There you are!
-Finally. Tell us everything.

Yeah. This is
the most romantic thing

that's ever happened to us.

Let's see. Harry didn't
say he missed me,

he didn't have
the macaroni necklace,
and when I asked him

if he wanted to hang out, he said,

"let me check."

girls:
No!

I know. He's totally over me.

-Unless...
-Unless what?

Unless he's not over you,

but he wants to make sure
you're not over him,

so he's playing it cool
to make you like him more.

Sophia:
Wait, you're right.

Remember in
werewolf girlfriend
when maria pretended

she didn't like danny,
even though she did?

And then danny suddenly realized

he loved her more than
any other werewolf?

Oh wow.

This is exactly like danny and maria!

But of course,
danny ate maria later,
but that's their issue.

-Maybe harry is
playing it cool.
-Sophia: For sure.

So, you just have to show harry
that you're less interested

in hanging out with him
than he is with you.

It's how true love works.

And we know.
We watch tv.

So, maybe I should text
him before he can text me

and tell him that I'm actually
busy and I can't hang?

Yes! Good!
Take the puck out of his court

and kick it right through the hoop!

Is that not sports?

♪ ♪

(doorbell rings)

pizza's here.
Get it while it's hot.

And this time, it really is.

I tried a piece in the car.

Good to know.

(text notification dings)

aw, man.

What's with the upside-down smile?

Wait. Unless...

I'm upside-down.

No. I was about to text syd
to tell her I was free,

but she texted me saying
she's busy tonight.

I was gonna ask her to
my first school dance.

Ooh.

You like-like her.

Is it really that obvious?

I was trying
not to seem too eager.
I hope she didn't notice.

Nah. She didn't notice.

I'm just more observant
than most people.

Uh, iggy!

Aren't you supposed to take
the money and leave the pizza?

Well, well, well.

Looks like I met my match.

♪ ♪

hey, max.
What's with all the grub?

The rand man's coming over!

And you're putting out forks?

I thought you just
tossed food in the air

and he caught it in his mouth.

The man's an athlete, what can I say?

Are you sure he's even
staying this time?

Yep. His text
was very clear.

Max, you texted him
times in a row?

I've met newborn babies
less needy than you.

I'm just excited to have
a friend back in town.

You don't wanna come on too strong.

I mean, you don't
wanna look desperate.

But I am desperate!

-(doorbell rings)
-sydney: I got it!

Hey, where are you going with that?

I'm helping you play
it cool with randy.

Also, I was in charge
of sorority dinner,

and I forgot to make anything.

But mostly, I am doing this for you.

-Hey, syd!
-Hey, randy!
Uh, my dad's in the kitchen.

Ooh, great. I am starving!

(laughs)

oh. Harry! You're here, too!

This is so...

Cool.

Super cool, super chill.

Honestly,
it's just fine. It's...

Whatever.

Uh, hi, syd.

So, how's portland prep?

Good. Still adjusting.

Listen, I was wondering if
you were busy tomorrow night.

Tomorrow night?

Hm, lemme check and get back to you.

Oh. Um, sure. Okay.

(sighs) change of plans, harry.

Max didn't think
we were staying.
Let's grab a bite, huh?

-Okay.
-See you, syd!

So, let me know about tomorrow?

Sure. Sure.

Might work out. Might not.

You never know till, you know,

you know?

And that's how it's done.

Oh... My... Gosh.
You got ms. Snakman?

I know, right? Just came in.

I've been dying to play it!

You game, gamer?

Oh, I'm always game. But,

leo and I usually break in
the new machines together.

I get that.

Although...

Way ahead of you.

-(insert coins)
-(video game noises)

stole your cheese. Booyah!

Bam! Just stole it back.

-(game noises continue)
-hey, guys. Wait,
ms. Snakman is here?

Yep!

But max, you and I usually play
new games for the first time.

Sorry, leo. You weren't here,
but you can play the winner.

Oh! Got the donut.

Or we can all play right now!
(laughs) scooch over.

-Leo, there isn't any room.
-That's 'cause
you're not scooching.

-What are you doing, man?
-Playing the game.

(game noises)

-leo, get outta here! No, you!
-No, you get outta here!

-(thud)
-(game beeps)

well, that was rude.


Leo, why are you acting like this?

I'm not acting like anything.

You're the ones who are playing games

instead of paying
attention to the customers.

There aren't any customers.

(sighs) you know, alisha?

I've been rethinking
our personnel needs,

and I decided we have plenty
of people working here.

Are you f*ring me?

I wouldn't say fired.
You just don't
work here anymore.

Real nice, cuz.

(sighs)

that was totally unfair.

You're just jealous I'm hanging
out with alisha instead of you.

That is not true.
Rules are rules,

and if you don't like it,
take it up with management.

Which is also me.

You know what?
If she's leaving, I'm leaving.

♪ ♪

you guys are gonna be so proud.

I played it so cool with harry.

Get this.

He asked me if I was free
tomorrow night, and I said,

wait for it,

"let me check
and get back to you."

-yes, girl!
-Ice cold.

Are you nuts?

Say what?

My neighbor goes to
harry's school, portland prep,

and they have a dance tomorrow night.

He must've been trying
to ask you to the dance.

Oh no.

Why'd you play it so cool?

You guys told me to!

Why'd you listen to us?
We get all our ideas from tv!

Okay, um, I guess I will just

text harry that I can go.

Uh, what should I say?
And don't bring up a tv show.

I got nothing.

(doorbell rings)

pizza's here.
Get it while it's...

Oh no.

The upside-down smile again.

This time, I know I'm right side up.

Yeah. I wanted to
ask syd to the dance,

but before I could,
she said she was probably busy.

Ah. I see what's happening.

The game is afoot.

Game? What game?

Game of love, bro.

Text her that you're going
to the dance with friends.

Sydney will wonder
who you're going with,

-and wish she said yes.
-Wow.

That actually might work.

Of course it will!
Then, boom!

You're together forever.
Like my shirt and this stain.

That's never coming out.

How does this sound?

"hey, harry. Sorry if
I was being weird before,

but I'd love to hang out
tomorrow night."

that's perfect.
Send it.

(text notification dings)

-oh, it's from harry.
-What's it say?

"change of plans.

Forgot I had a dance.
Gonna go with some friends."

girls:
No...

That's it.

If he didn't like-like me before,

he definitely doesn't
like-like me now.

I blew it.

I'm sorry, syd.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

what's up, syd?
You look bummed.

Nothing.
Just checking social media

to see if anyone's tagged
harry at the dance.

Come on, people.
The streets want content!

Wait, how could harry be
at a dance without you?

Said the totally neutral
and impartial dad.

Well, he almost asked me,

but I was trying to
play it cool, and now,

he's at the dance with friends.

Oh, the old "play it cool

just to have it blow up
in your face" trick.
Been there.

Wait, I am there.

I haven't heard
from the rand man
since he left yesterday.

Stinks, huh?

But why would you play
it cool with harry?

Well, I wasn't sure if he still
felt the same way about me.

I guess I was trying
to protect myself.

I hear you.

Well,

maybe it's time we both
start trusting our instincts.

I'm gonna tell harry
exactly how I feel.

You know what? I'm gonna do
the same with the rand man.

I gotta change my clothes.
I have a dance to get to.

I gotta change, too.
I got a rand man to get to.

♪ ♪

(knocking)

well, welly, well.

If it isn't
leo "rules are rules" webb.

Major rules mcgee.

Mr. Ruley van rulenstein.

-Got anymore?
-No, that's all
I could come up with.

What are you doing here?

Look, I came to say
I'm sorry I was a jerk.

You were right, I was jealous.

I guess I just sort of felt
like I was being replaced.

Aw, come on, leo!
You're my best bud.

No one can
replace you. No one.

-Really?
-Of course!

You have nothing to worry about.

Just because alisha's super cool,

and smart and fun and...

(inhales, exhales)

she smells like strawberries.

Wait! You like alisha!

I mean, you like-like her.
How did I miss that?

What? (scoffs)
I don't like-like her.

She's a bud. She's a pal.

Or your future wife.

Ew, gross.

You don't wanna
be my cousin-in-law?
Now, that hurts.

Seriously? Will you stop?

Fine. But only because
I gotta go apologize

to alisha and rehire her.

Okay!
Tell her I say hi!

I mean, don't.

I don't want her to know
I'm thinking about her.

Which I'm not.

Got it. You love her.

♪ ♪

olive, the dance was a bust.

By the time I got there,
harry was already gone.

It's officially over.

Oh, great.
And we're out of ice cream.

There better be some in the garage.

(sighs) talk to you later.

Harry.

What are you doing here?

Well, I went to the dance,

stood there through half of
the first song, and thought...

Why am I here without syd?

So, I came over.

Really?

What about your friends?

That was a lie.

I went alone.

I guess I was just hurt that
you didn't wanna hang with me.

Well, I only said that 'cause
I was trying to play it cool.

But I was only playing it cool
because you were
playing it cool.

-So, neither of us are cool.
-Not even a little.

I'm sorry, harry.
It's just that...

When you said you missed portland,

I thought that meant
you didn't miss me.

Syd.

I missed you every day.

Really?

So, does that mean you
still like-like me?

Would I bring...

A string of stale pasta
halfway around the world

if I didn't like-like you?

Let's make a pact never
to play games again.

Deal.

So, I guess I owe you a dance, huh?

(keys clicking on phone)

(soft music playing)

and I told him,

"of course I wanna
hang with you, bud!"

-I know that now, bud.
-(laughs)

it was my bad, buds.

Which is why I'm making
you this homemade

scrumptious dinner.
Oh, I forgot the forks.

I'll even bring one for you,
randy, but no pressure.

Just take one bite, make some
yummy noises, move it around,

and then dump it
in the bathroom
when she's not looking.

You'll find granola bars
taped behind the tv,

under the kitchen sink, and...

Wait, where did we
put those other two?

I don't remember.

Here you go.

Dig in.

Mm.

-This is unbelievable.
-Don't overdo it, harry.

No, syd, this is really delicious.

Where'd you get this recipe?

Actually, sydney's mom, alisha,

taught me how to cook it
when she was about your age.

So, I guess you won't be
needing the granola bars

hidden under the stairs
in the girl cave, huh?

-That's where they are!
-That's where they are!

♪ ♪

man:
Oh yeah.
Post Reply