09x22 - Split Decision

[bunniefuu]

What's up?

- I got it.
- What?

They offered me the Denver job.

It's mine if I want it.

What job?

Uh... there's this sporting goods
company out in Denver,

and, uh, they offered me a job.

What do you mean, they offered you a job?

I thought you liked the job you had.

Yeah, I do like my job.

This kind of came out of the blue.

I literally just got the offer.

Okay, wait, I'm confused.
What is happening?

You're taking a job in Denver?

No. I mean, well, maybe.

I... I don't know.

You're getting ahead of yourself.

Really? 'Cause I don't feel ahead.

I actually feel way behind.

So, Denver just called you up
and offered you a job?

Actually, they reached out to me
a couple weeks ago.

So, I drove out to Denver for the day,

did the interview, and came back.

Dad said not to tell you

'cause he didn't want you to freak out.

Oh, did he?

Is that what he did?

Well, this is a disaster.

The webbing on my chair's
starting to unravel.

I can see by your faces
you share my dismay.

♪

So, that Royal Wedding was fun, huh?

Sign me up for the next one.
[SMACKS LIPS]

Hey, uh, I thought I'd go out
and grab us some donuts.

You want anything?

Hmm, let me think. What do I want?

I want my son back, that's what I want.

Come on, Frankie, I knew you'd be upset

so I was just trying to shield
you from all that.

Oh, thank you so much.

I just love it when men
shield me from things.

You are so not trying to protect me.

You are trying to protect
yourself from all of this.

Can you blame me?

Look, I knew if I told you two weeks ago

when he went on the interview,
you'd be worrying

this whole time, so I did you a favor

and saved you from
two whole weeks of worry.

You did not do me a favor.

If you had told me two weeks ago,

I would be done with my worrying
and I would be fine now.

So, you'll be fine in two weeks?

No, I will not be fine in two weeks.

I will never be fine.

I cannot belive you aided
and abetted him in this.

We didn't plan a bank heist, Frankie.

And besides, you're the one
who pushed him to go to Europe.

Don't you dare throw my good
mothering in my face.

That trip was to get traveling
out of his system.

Now our son is actually moving
to another city

for his whole life.

This is like taking our seed

and flinging it all the way to Denver.

Flinging our seed?

What the hell are you talking about?

Look, Frankie, this job
that he might be taking

is in Denver, not Antarctica.

It might as well be...
It's a -hour trip.

We don't have the money to fly,
and our cars are all crappy.

We leave parts on the road
every time we go above .

So he'll come visit us.

No, he won't.

It's very clear that we
like him more than he likes us.

At least if we're in the same town,

we'll run into him once and a while.

I just think you're making
way too big a deal out of this.

Of course you do.

You want to kick him out of
the nest because you're a man.

You want him to fly off
to wherever he wants

so you can live vicariously through him

'cause you know
you're trapped here with me.

I don't know what
I want him to do, Frankie.

I just want what's best for him.

Well, I am a mother,

and I love my child enough
to squash his dreams.

And if you are not mom enough to do that,

then get out of my way.

And, yes, I do want donuts!

[DOOR SLAMS]

FRANKIE: So, while Axl
was ripping my heart out,

thinking about leaving home,

Sue'd bet on staying home all summer

in the hopes that with Sean
just across the street,

he'd finally come over
and sweep her off her feet.

[MAJESTIC MUSIC PLAYS]

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

[HORSE NICKERS]

But with Sean now going to Ghana,

sadly, that was not the case.

[SIGHS]

♪

Or was it?

♪

Hey! I just came over to borrow
a duffel bag for my trip.

Oh.

Yeah, my mom said you guys
might have some luggage

that you wouldn't mind losing.

[SCOFFS] Oh, yeah, we do.

We definitely do.

Oh, yep.

This must be it.

I would do a spider check if I were you.

Will do. [CHUCKLES] Thanks.

So, are you excited?

Oh, yeah. I just found out I'm
gonna be sharing a bunk house

with a couple doctors from
the medical school in Kumasi,

so I'm psyched.

Should be cool... probably learn a lot.

Oh, wow. That is so great.

Well, you know what they say,
"Live, love, learn."

Was there a laugh in there, too?
I can't remember.

[INHALES SHARPLY] Anyway...

W... Uh, how 'bout you?

Got any big plans for the summer?

Oh, yeah, big plans... big, big plans.

Let's see... I may have a gig

shadowing housekeeping
at Orson Cozy Suites.

- Oh.
- What else?

We got a new summer lite potato
at Spudsy's...

half the sour cream
and only two pumps of cheese,

'cause, ya know, swimsuits.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

Well, sounds like a really busy
summer, very cool.

Yeah.

Well, um, I probably should get moving.

Nobody's "Ghana" pack these bags for me.

"Ghana." I see what you did there.

Well...

Oh.

[LAUGHS]

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

Well, bye, Suzy Q.

Yep. Bye.

♪

[SIGHS]

♪

Ooh, this is nice!

Oh, check out that polyester weaving

and brushed aluminum finish...

sturdy and attractive, yet lightweight.

How are you not leaping off the
couch in excitement right now?

[EXHALES SHARPLY]
What are you even doing, Brick?

You didn't hear?

The fabric on my chair frayed,
and so I thought,

"Oh no, is this the beginning
of the end for my chair?"

So I got another one as a backup.

The whole family's talking about it.

Hold the phone!

Maybe this will get you off the couch.

A bonus chair!

Two for one, baby!

You have two, but I will forever be one.

This is incredible.

This morning I had one frayed chair,

and now I have a backup to my backup.

All my problems are solved.

Chair-mageddon has been avoided.

The chair recognizes Brick.

I'm breathing rarefied chair.

We need your daughter to chair up. Ha!

Sue, get up.

I'm never getting up!

We got to figure out this Axl thing.

[SIGHS]

Come on, we're not gonna solve anything

by laying around and being depressed.

We got to come up with a plan.

Strategize.

Look, I don't want Axl to go, either,

but you can't expect him to just
ride up on a white horse

and tell you he's staying.

It just doesn't work like that.

[GROANS]

I was gonna do whatever it took
to keep Axl here,

including making his favorite dinner.

I made dinner!

Sue, let's go!

Hey, Mike, can you
get Sue up off the couch?

Okay.

There he is!

Yeah.

- [GROANS]
- What's with the chairs?

Oh, when I was on the computer,
a message popped up

saying I might be interested
in these other chairs,

and you know what? They were right.

Well, I may be interested in
the actual chairs that I bought.

Where'd those go?

Dad, I feel like you're not embracing

the whole chair movement
that's going on right now.

If you don't sit down and take
notice, it's gonna pass you by.

Pbht.

Let's just get this over with.

[SCOFFS] Get it over with?

You mean have a great family dinner?

Okay, Mike.

- [SIGHS]
- So, what do you think?

You notice how
different parts of your butt

squish through the webbing?

You like it, but you're not sure why?

It's not bad.
And you're closer to the food.

[CHAIR CREAKS]

Axl likes the chairs.
We're keeping the chairs.

So, Axl, they give you
any kind of a time frame?

When do you have to let 'em know?

[SIGHS] Well, I talked to them
this morning.

I mean, they said I could take
a week to think about it.

They know it's a big decision for me

'cause I'd be moving
my whole life to Denver.

I mean, it's a cool city.

Yeah, yeah, it is cool.

I mean, you can't bake a cake there,

so, just sayin', don't expect any cake.

What do you mean?

Oh, you know, 'cause of the elevation.

They call it the "Mile High
City" which, if you ask me,

it's not a big selling point.

Who wants to be a mile high?

I mean, seriously, you go a mile
straight up right now...

tell me one good thing about it.

Just talking here, Frankie...
nothing's decided.

Yeah, no. That's great.

That's what great about
having a family dinner,

so everybody can just kind of
bounce ideas around, you know?

So, w-what have ya been thinking?

Like, just bounce, bounce, bounce.

I don't know. I mean, part of me
doesn't want to leave

'cause, you know, I don't want
to be away from Lexie.

But then again, I'd make more
money at the new job.

You know what's weird,
is, like, when somebody

comes to a really good decision,
and then they say, "Then again."

I have never understood that.

"Then again" is a really overused phrase.

Then again, it is his decision, Frankie.

It's just so hard.

I mean, I even made a list
and everything.

Honestly, one of my biggest cons
for leaving is...

- Can you pass the egg rolls?
- Not now, Sue!

So, you were saying something about cons?

Um, yeah. I was saying one
of my biggest cons for leaving

is that I really do like my job here.

Yeah, it is a good job.

It's a really good job.

Take it from me, I've hated
every job I've ever had.

If you like your job, that is
not something to take lightly.

Even Jesus didn't like his first job.

That's why he switched
from carpenter to savior.

Yeah, but get this... the new
job comes with a company car.

Mike, remember that friend you
had that sold medical supplies?

Didn't he have a company car?

- Yeah.
- And he d*ed.

He had a heart att*ck.

W-Whatever. I'm just saying
he had a company car

and he d*ed, so you guys do the math.

Uh, yeah, well, look, it's not
even really about the car.

I mean, just the whole company
has a really cool vibe.

It's in this warehouse,
they got a climbing wall,

one of those gumball machines
that dispenses cereal.

But, you know, all my friends are here.

I don't know anybody in Denver.

Oh, and having friends
is super important.

You do not want to be friendless.

Ask Brick... It's not fun, right, Brick?

Hey, I have two friends.

Three if you count the bus driver

who says, "Watch your step."

Sue, you've been awfully quiet.

Do you have any thoughts

about your favorite brother
leaving forever?

Well, I think in a perfect
world, families stay together.

Exactly.

But in the real world, people
leave and they break your heart.

I don't even know
what's keeping me in Orson.

Okay, Sue, go to your couch.

Yeah.

[MOANS]

[THUMP]

Well, feels like
we've b*at that to death.

Let's talk about something else.

Or we could just eat in silence.
I vote for that.

Yeah, I think I just need
some time to let it roll around.

I'm gonna go to my room
and clear my head a little,

maybe play some guitar.

[SIGHS]

I thought I did a good job
of hiding my agenda.

Then again, maybe you didn't.

♪

So, I printed out all
the sporting goods stores

within a -mile radius,
and you wouldn't believe it.

Turns out there's
that are looking for managers.

Mom, if I move to Denver,

I wouldn't be working
at a sporting goods store.

I'd be working for a huge
company at a job

where I'd actually get to use
my business degree.

If I stay in Orson,
I'd just keep the job I have.

Okay, well, I just
wanted you to be informed.

But I like where your head
is at about staying here

- and keeping your job.
- Mm.

♪

[TV PLAYS INDISTINCTLY]

[SIGHS] Hey, buddy.

Do you have to sit right next to me?

There's a whole theater here.

Listen, you share a room with Axl.

What are you hearing?

Hearing?

Yeah, what's the buzz on
the street, the inside scoop?

Which way do you think
he's leaning, Denver-wise?

Mom, the secrets that two brothers share

are a sacred confidence,

and I don't feel comfortable
breaking that trust.

- You got nothing.
- Zippo.

I did buy him a book on Denver.

What? Why?

When I was buying lawn chairs,
the website said,

"People who purchased outdoor furniture

might also enjoy books about Denver."

You know, lately when I buy
stuff, I get a real buzz.

- [SIGHS]
- There's just something about

those words "Add to cart."

It's like a rocket ship
for your emotions.

We're trying to get Axl to stay in Orson.

In my defense, he's probably
not gonna read the book.

Yeah, but he'll look at the pictures.

Mom, I understand that this is
a very emotional time for you,

Axl being your first son and all.

I felt the same way when
the only chair I've ever loved

started to slightly fray.

Brick, you cannot compare losing
a chair to losing a son.

I love my chair,

and I'm afraid that someday
I will be without it.

You love your son, and you're afraid

that someday you will be without him.

If you could buy backup Axls,
wouldn't you?

No, I just want the stupid one I have.

Now pick a favorite chair

and take the rest over
to Grandpa Big Mike's.

Oh, and bring him a sandwich.

I was supposed to check on him last week.

♪

I was getting desperate.
I never felt so alone.

If only I had someone

who cared about Axl leaving
as much as I did.

♪

Mrs. Heck!

[DOOR CLOSES]
- Lexie!

I'm just sick about this.

Me, too. I haven't been able
to sleep in days.

Stupid Denver.

It's the least favorite
of my parents' houses.

Listen, Axl's out with Mike,
so we don't have much time.

What can we do?

I don't know, but I don't think
him living at home is helping.

I really don't want him to go.

- Have you told him that?
- No.

I felt as his girlfriend,
I should be supportive.

[SIGHS] All right. Well,
don't b*at yourself up about it.

The important thing is you're
on the non-supportive side now.

Okay, here's the deal...

You're gonna make more progress with him,

so don't be afraid to give him
an ultimatum.

Really? I feel like ultimatums

aren't healthy for a relationship.

Either you give him an ultimatum
or we are through!

See? They work.

[SIGHS] I'm sorry. This whole
thing has got me crazy.

I totally get it.

When Axl first told me,
I almost dropped the phone.

He told you over the phone?

So you two haven't seen each other yet?

- This is amazing.
- What's amazing?

You're our secret w*apon.

Once he looks into those
Disney princess eyes,

of course he's gonna want to stay here.

You're gorgeous.

And not just for Indiana... everywhere.

Okay. I should just put on
a little makeup

before he gets home.

You're not wearing any makeup?

We have got this thing in the bag.

[LAUGHS]

♪

I've always liked the hardware store.

Hardware stores are very underrated

as places to clear your head.

People think churches
and mountaintops are so great.

This works for me.

O-kay.

So, we're here to get another
part for the toilet or...?

Ah, flapper valves.

So, you've had a couple days
to think about it.

How ya feeling about Denver?

[EXHALES SHARPLY] I don't know.

I wake up in the morning, and I think,

"I'm doing it. I'm taking the job."

And then I go to bed and Mom sneaks in

while she thinks I'm asleep

and whispers mean things
about Denver in my ear,

and I start thinking... I don't know.

Maybe she's got a point.
Maybe I should just stay.

In your mom's defense,

there's a thin line
between crazy and love.

Yeah. You're, um, gonna
want to get one of these, too.

Sometimes with the older
toilets, the water level's low

'cause of a defective overflow tube.

Oh! You see? I know so much
about plumbing now.

Do you realize I can name
different kinds of shower heads?

I am a shower head savant.

I know nothing about camping equipment.

But on the other hand,

I've always kind of wanted
more than this, you know?

I... [GROANS]

Just tell me what to do...
make the pain go away.

I can tell you the same thing
my dad told me,

the best advice I ever got.

Yeah. Hit me.

Don't ask other people for advice.

You'll know when you know.

Okay, but on the outside chance
I don't know,

you got to be thinking something.

Well, if you go, I'm gonna miss
the hell out of ya.

But that doesn't mean

you shouldn't do what's right for you.

♪

♪

Here's a picture of a cobblestone street

at the base of a mountain.

Lose it.

Remember, we're ripping out
anything with nature scenes,

mountain biking, or breweries.

We're leavinany pages
with m*rder statistics.

- [DOOR CLOSES]
- AXL: Lexie!

What are you doing here?

- I drove down from Carmel...
- Oh.

...'cause I needed to see your face.

I think we should talk.

Yeah, no, we should talk, yeah.

♪

I'm glad you're here.

This is a super hard decision.

Maybe this will help you decide.

♪

So...?

So, we talked, and we kissed,

- and we talked some more.
- And?

He definitely has some reservations

about going to Denver.

But ultimately, I love him,
and it's his decision,

and I told him that even if he
decides to go, I'd support him.

Get out.

After Lexie's epic fail,

nobody was more depressed than me...

unless you count Sue.

Let's go.

[SIGHS]

♪

♪

Hardware stores are underrated
as places to clear your head.

Everyone thinks churches or
mountaintops are so great...

[GROANS]

[SIGHS]

All right, I'm gonna cut to the chase.

I want my couch back,
and I want my remote back.

What's it gonna take?

What do you mean?

You just seem a little down lately.

You're always so excited about summer,

and you'd normally have
a glittery binder going by now.

I don't know. I've just sort of
been in a weird place.

[SIGHS]

Is this about Sean?

How do you know about that?

Sue, your bedroom walls
are made of poster board.

They're literally paper-thin.

[SCOFFS] Okay, here's the thing...

Sean and I kissed on Christmas,
and it was perfect.

It wasn't like a rough kiss...
It was more like a gentle...

I'm gonna stop you there.
Don't need the details.

[SIGHS] I don't know.

It's just... It's hitting me

that nothing is the way
I thought it was gonna be.

I thought I would tell Sean how I feel,

and then he would tell me
he felt the same way,

and then we would have
this magical summer together,

but instead, he's going to Ghana.

[SIGHS] Is it wrong to pray
for an Ebola scare?

Not a big one... just enough
to shut down the airport.

Sue, how many teams have you
tried out for in your life?

So many.

- And how many did you make?
- Very few.

And did anyone ever ask you
to be in their club?

Not that I recall.

Dad, is this supposed to be a pep talk?

'Cause I'm not feeling any better.

Here's my point.

If people told you you weren't
good enough, you kept trying.

If they didn't want you in their club,

you started your own damn club.

You have never let anything get you down.

You're the happiest person I've ever met.

So, really?

You're gonna let a guy bring you to this?

You're right.

You're right!

What am I doing? I am Sue Heck.

I don't need a guy
to make my summer great.

That's what I'm talkin' about.

I am strong on my own.

That's it.

The Summer of Sue starts right now.

And I am gonna spend it with
the only guy that matters...

my dad.

Well, I don't want to hog up
your whole summer.

You know, I-it stays lighter longer.

So, Sue was off the couch

and ready to embrace her independence.

She knew if she was gonna truly move on,

she had to let the Sean fantasy go.

But she wanted to give him
one last, little something

to take with him to remind him of home.

♪

Oh, hey, Sue.

Hey, Mr. Donahue. Is Sean around?

Ah, you just missed him.

He and Nancy are at the school

putting together care packages
for our troops.

Darn. I thought he might be home packing.

Oh, are you kidding?

He's so excited, he's already
packed and ready to go.

[EXHALES] Oh, wow. [LAUGHS] Great.

Well, he can't wait to leave.

- [CELLPHONE RINGS]
- Oh.

Hello?

Oh, hi. Thanks for calling me back.

Just a minute. Yeah, well...

So, what time is the, uh... the meeting?

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

♪

♪

♪

The only problem with going to Big Mike's

to drop something off
is you usually end up

picking something up that's even bigger.

♪

[SIGHS]

♪

I got to get more of these.

MIKE: Don't worry.

I'm taking it back
to my dad's house tomorrow.

FRANKIE: Okay, but did you sit in it?
It's pretty comfortable.

I'm starting to think
we should just trust Brick

when it comes to making chair decisions.

The kid does know how to sit.

[DOOR OPENS]

AXL: Don't turn on the light.

I have something to tell you guys,

and it's hard enough as it is...

I don't want to have to see your faces.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

I'm taking the job in Denver.

[DOOR CLOSES]

♪

Are you crying?

[HIGH-PITCHED SOB]

♪