05x08 - Young & Vegas Baby

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Young & Hungry". Aired June 2014 - July 2018.*
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"Young & Hungry" follows wealthy young tech entrepreneur Josh, who hires a feisty young food blogger named Gabi to be his new personal chef. Desperate to keep her new job, Gabi must prove her skills to Josh and his personal aide Elliot, who would prefer a celebrity chef for the job instead. The series is loosely based upon the life of San Francisco food blogger Gabi Moskowitz.
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05x08 - Young & Vegas Baby

Post by bunniefuu »

Yolanda... uh... where is everybody?

How is Gabi gonna be surprised
when there's no one here?

Where is everybody?

- OTHERS: Surprise!
- (screams)

That was good!

Damn, Josh, were you this nervous
when you threw my surprise party?

That wasn't a surprise party,
that was an intervention.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Hey, I didn't get a
surprise party, either.

How do you know I'm not
planning on throwing you one?

Because my birthday was last week.

Yeah.

That's why I'm plannin' it
for next week, throw you off.

But now, since you ruined the
surprise, I guess I gotta call everybody

- and cancel it.
- Damn it.

Josh, are you sure about this?
Gabi really doesn't like surprises.

(laughs) Sofia...

who are you talking to?

I'm the master
surpriser. She wants this.

She wants this bad.

Okay, everybody,
remember. The code word...

is waffles.

When I say "waffles", you guys
jump up and yell surprise, got it?

- Oh, she's here! She's here!
- Get down, get down,

everybody get down!

- Morning, Josh.
- Good morning, indeed.

So, uh...

guess you really wanna know
what I want for breakfast.

Oh! Um... I actually... I just
picked up all the fixin's for omelets,

- so...
- Ooh, omelets are so good.

But I'm in the mood
for... (shouts) waffles!

OTHERS: Surprise!

- Oh my God, what did you do?
- Ha! Nailed it! (laughs)

How happy are you right now?

(crying)

She's crying!

- Uhh!
- She grabbed her purse!

- (crying)
- She's running out!

And she angrily slammed the door!

- Worst party ever!
- (theme music playing)

♪ She's in the spotlight ♪

♪ And she turned my head ♪

♪ She'd run a red light ♪

♪ 'Cause she's bad like that ♪

♪ I like that ooh,
baby, ooh, baby, baby ♪


- ♪ I like that ooh, baby ooh, baby ♪

Gabi?

- I brought home a little something.
- (whines) Ohhh, I hate today.

I smell the cupcake.

What cupcake?

I don't want it. I don't want anything.

Okay, Gabi, what's going on?

Why did you run out of Josh's so fast?

You've always loved your birthday.

You wouldn't understand.

You're still young.

You're three weeks older than me.

(sighs) Well, let me tell you something.

The big two-five hits
you like a ton o' bricks.

One minute life's all...

roller skates and snow cones, and...

next minute it's just broken
promises and shattered dreams!

Oh my God, there's
frosting in the middle!

Whoa, I'm having a
quarter-life crisis here!

Oh, sorry, okay.

- Tell me what's really going on. Gabi.
- Nothing.

Fine.

My dad got me this.

Ohh. This is nasty.

I see what's going on.

You're turning and all
you got was this crappy globe.

No, it's not a crappy globe, it's a...

piggy bank in the
shape of a crappy globe.

Right. How is this card from your mom?

She gave it to me on my th birthday

so we could save up
for our trip together.

We put quarters in there, so
that when I turned , we could...

have enough to go on a culinary
adventure around the globe.

Ohh, quarters.

That's so cute. Twenty-five for .

Oh my God, I just got that.

Huh.

And we were gonna go to New
York, and Paris, and Venice.

Now I'm never gonna get to
go to any of those places

with her 'cause she's gone.

- Mmm.
- (knocking on door)

- Thank you.
- There you go.

Oh my God, birthday flowers from Josh?

Didn't he get the message?
I don't want anything.

Actually, these are for
Ms. Wilson, downstairs.

(crying) So Josh didn't
even get me flowers?

Gabi crying and champagne?

Best day ever!

- Look! Gabi's birthday gifts!
- (gasps)

- I wonder what Josh got her.
- Mmm.

Oh-oh! Thigh-high Italian leather boots!

In my almost size! Oh!

A limited edition, oversized
unisex designer tote!

- (gasps)
- I love it!

Hey! Get your hands off Gabi's
gifts. They're goin' back.

BOTH: No!

(whispering) If we let him take
'em back, they'll be gone forever.

But if we make sure they get to Gabi,

we can borrow them, keep
them for a long time,

and she'll forget she ever
owned them, and ipso fatso,

we'll own them!

(both sing-song) Josh!

Remember how, thanks to
you, Gabi ran outta here

devastated on her birthday?

What's your point?

The point is, wouldn't you
want to make it up to her?

W... of course I want to, but
I blew it so hard at that party,

there's no coming back from that.

Unless...

What, you guys have an idea?

Totes!

Happy Birthday, Ms. Wilson!

- You got me flowers?
- Yeah.

No.

They accidentally delivered
'em to our place by mistake,

which is weird, 'cause
it's my birthday, too.

- Get outta here.
- No, I'm serious.

So am I.

Okay, I'll just, uh, put
your flowers down over here.

By the way, the card wasn't signed.

Who's your secret admirer?

- (chuckling) I don't know.
- (Sofia chuckles)

Maybe my CrossFit trainer?

Or, they could be from Bernie.

(gasps) Sanders?

Schwartz.

But Sanders...

I wouldn't mind running my
fingers through that hair.

So, uh, who's Bernie Schwartz?

He's a man I met in Vegas years ago,

- when we were married.
- GABI AND SOFIA: Ohhh.

- And not to each other.
- Ahhh-ohhh!

Oh, wow!

Check it out. "In a city of lights,
none shined brighter than you.

I will never forget our kiss."

(gasp) You kissed Bernie
while you were married?

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

(laughing)

"Fate brought us together at
the wrong time, but, baby...

"if by some chance we're both
single on our th birthdays,

"let's meet right back at the Bellagio

in the honeymoon suite at midnight."

(gasp) Do you know what this means?

I still have years to meet someone!

My God, this is so romantic, it's
just like Sleepless in Seattle.

- You have to go to Vegas, Ms. Wilson!
- Uh, nope.

What do you mean, nope?

What if I show up, and find
out he's gone to a better place?

Oh... like the Venetian?

Is she really this dumb?

Ms. Wilson, if you don't
go, how are you gonna know?

Oh my God! This is it!

A birthday trip!

Okay, you are going to
Vegas, and we are taking you.

We have eight hours till midnight!

I'll go on one condition...

Vegas, baby!

(laughs)

This is the most fun I've ever had...

in the front seat of a car.

Um, Ms. Wilson, just because you are ,

doesn't mean you have to drive !

Oh, you only live once!

And you only die once, too! I bet
she's not even allowed to drive.

They probably took her
license years ago!

Wrong!

I never had a license!

GABI AND SOFIA: What?

- (police siren)
- Oh, thank God!

They want you to pull
over. Pull over! Pull over!

My parole officer's gonna be pissed.

Can I just say...

bringing Gabi these presents
to make up for that stupid

surprise party we were gonna throw

is a-genius.

That's weird, it's open.

It's okay. There's nothing
here worth stealing.

Gabi?

- Where is she?
- Mm-hm... let me check the bedroom.

I love these boots!

Oh my God, what... what if
something happened to her?

I can't lose the girl
I... I employ as my chef!

Josh, she's not in the bedroom.

I'm callin' her.

Hey, Gabi, where are you?

Hey, Josh, I'm on my way to Vegas.

What?

I... I thought you said
you didn't wanna celebrate?

Yeah, I... I know,
it's... it's a long story,

but I'm... I'm headed to the Bellagio.

God willing.

Okay, bye.

- She's going to Vegas.
- Vegas?

Vegas?

It's not that she didn't wanna
celebrate her birthday, it's...

she didn't wanna celebrate
her birthday with me.

Or maybe she just misses her mom.

Oh my God, that's why she was
so bummed about her birthday.

It wasn't me, it's her dead mom!

Oh God, I'm horrible.

You know what? This whole thing
just feels wrong right now.

Let's just bring the presents
back like I wanted to do

- in the first place.
- Unless...

What, you guys have another idea?

Totes.

Here, we filled the
t*nk on number three.

How do you think Ms. Wilson
got us out of that ticket?

I mean, the woman was
speeding without a license.

Who knows how old people do anything?

I mean, my grandpa used to
steal my nose all the time,

and I still haven't figured that out.

Your card got declined.

Oh. Well, that's okay, we'll
just use our emergency card.

- Oh, great, we have one of those?
- No.

Ms. Wilson, um, I'm so sorry to ask,
but would you mind paying for gas?

- We don't have any cash.
- Neither do I.

What? But you said you
brought bucks to gamble.

I had to pay off the cop.

That's how you got out of it?

Well, it wasn't my first offer.

Wait, so, how are we gonna get to Vegas

if we don't have any
money to pay for the gas?

You already filled up
the t*nk, didn't you?

- Yeah.
- What are you sayin'?

We make a run for it?

On three. One, two, three!

What are you doing? We had it!

- Are you sure you don't have any money?
- (sighs) None.

Ms. Wilson, here, give me your purse.

Let's see.

Butterscotch, butterscotch,
butterscotch... condom?

Bernie was in Japan during the w*r.

Um... Sofia, if we are not
at that hotel in one hour,

Ms. Wilson is gonna miss
Bernie, and then we're never

gonna have an ending to the
love story of Bernie and...

Ms. Wilson, what's your first name?

Bernice.

Aw, Bernie and Bernice. That's so cute.

It's kinda weird, but so cute!

Ladies, you're not going anywhere

unless you pay for the gas you pumped.

And that corn dog.

Oh my God! The crappy globe!

- There's money in the crappy globe!
- No, no, no, no!

This is me and my mom's money.
I only brought it for good luck.

Well, it's lucky you brought it,

'cause we need it to
get outta this dump!

Gabi, look, I... I know
that you and your mom

planned to use that money
to go to New York and Paris,

but maybe, just maybe,
you're meant to use it now.

Honey, you can hang on to some
things forever or move forward.

Now bust that bank open!

That's all the money you
saved since you were ?

I thought with interest it would grow.


In a real bank, Gabi, a real bank!

This is three seventy-five,
you owe... . .

Sir, look, it's her th birthday,

and her mom's not here to
see it. Do you think that,

maybe, you could cut us a break?

- . .
- What are you, dead inside?

Ever since I quit dancing, yeah.

Oh, well... I guess I
won't be feelin' the Bern.

Oh, yes, you will.

Okay. All it takes is one.

_

All it takes is one more.

_

Okay, all it takes is...
What number are we on?

- We're outta quarters.
- Dammit!

So we used all my mom's quarters,
and we're still stuck here?

I know, Gabi, I'm... I'm
so sorry. I feel terrible.

You feel terrible?

Third corn dog.

Wait a minute. What's that?

(laughs incredulously)

Oh my God! My mom taped
a quarter to the bottom!

She knew I wasn't great with money,

so she must've left me an extra one,

so I could call her
in case of emergency.

Least I have this quarter
to remember her by.

Wait!

_

(all screaming and laughing)

Thanks, Mom!

- (laughing) Vegas, baby!
- Oh, I'm... I'm driving.

_

Okay, Ms. Wilson, there's the
honeymoon suite. Are you ready?

Uh...

I need a drink. Let's hit the bar.

No, no!

You can't go to the bar. We only have...

minutes left. We might miss Bernie.

But what if he's dead?

Or worse, still married?

Come on, let's get hammered.

No, no, no.

I know what's going on.

- Ms. Wilson, you're nervous.
- So?

There's nothing to be nervous about.

You don't look a day over ,

and you have those
dimples no man can resist.

And you've got that great
CrossFit body goin' on.

- Come on, let's knock.
- No!

Ms. Wilson, a very smart woman once said

you can either hold onto
things forever, or move forward.

Who told you that B.S.?

(laughs) Come on, let's
bust down this door,

because the love of your life
might be waiting on the other side.

Bernie!

You look fantastic!

That's not Bernie.

Close enough.

Josh, what the hell are you doing here?

Well, I-I threw you a
party, but you hated it,

so I figured I'd make it
up to you with presents.

So I went to your apartment
to bring them to you,

but it turns out you're in Vegas,
so I brought your presents here.

My God, this is supposed to
be Bernie and Bernice's suite,

you're ruining everything!

Should've just threw Elliot a party.

_

Wait, how did you guys get here so fast?

Oh, we took Josh's private jet.

It had a couch in it, free champagne,
then a limo to the hotel. Oo-hoo!

Oh, but it was all for
your birthday, baby.

Hey, has an old guy named
Bernie knocked on the door?

And if he did, how does he look?

'Cause in ' , he was jacked!

Gabi, what's going on?

Twenty years ago, Ms. Wilson made
a pact with a guy named Bernie,

that if they were both single on
their th birthdays, which is today,

they would meet back here. And
now it's minutes to midnight,

so nobody moves until he shows up.

But I have tickets to Ms. Celine Dion.

You and your tote, sit!

Did you hear that? My tote.

Guys, it's : .

Maybe he took the stairs.

I don't think Bernie's coming.

(sigh) Man... I can't
believe he didn't show.

- Oh, it... it's okay.
- No, it's not okay!

I mean, this was your dream! You
had a plan for your th birth...

your th birthday.

It was supposed to be the
most special day of your life.

My mom and I...

You and Bernie should've been together.

I can't believe it didn't happen!

- Gabi...
- BERNICE: Uh...

(sighs) It's not fair, Sofia.

Sure, it would've been
nice to see Bernie again.

But I got to drive, and I got to Vegas.

And I won a jackpot.

It's the best night I've ever had!

Really?

Minus the corn dog.

Life's about new memories.

What do you say we go make some?

(knocking on door)

(gasps)

(gasps)

Bernie?

Bernice?

You look fantastic!

Oh, I'm... I'm not Bernice.

Uh, close enough.

Over here, Bernie.

Oh, thank goodness.

I never could've handled that.

Aww... still got those dimples!

- (laughs)
- Here, I brought you some chocolates.

Ohh. Uh...

Thank God he's still jacked.

It's... kinda crowded here, can, uh...

- can we get outta here?
- Oh, hell, yes, let's do. (chuckles)

Oh, maybe it'd be
easier if they got out?

- Oh...
- Out!

Elliot, if we're both
single when we're ,

let's agree to meet back here...

and k*ll each other.

I can't believe he actually showed up.

Yeah. Ms. Wilson got her dream.

(Josh sighs)

Gabi,

when I went to bring those
gifts to your apartment...

I saw the card from your
mom from when you were .

You did?

Yeah. And look, I... I know
I can't bring her back...

but maybe I can give you guys
the trip you always dreamed of.

Look... New York, Paris, and Venice.

That's everywhere I wanted to
go with my mom. That's amazing.

So what I'm hearing is...
maybe I'm kinda your hero?

Maybe you kinda are.

It's like Ms. Wilson said,
you gotta make new memories.

Hey, you two, can you get outta here?

More butter? Ha-ha-ha-ha, mm-hm!

More syrup? Don't mind if I do!

Whipped cream? What do you think?

I love Vegas!

Yolanda, it's nine in the morning,
are you just getting in now?

Me and these boots
have been out all night!

(gasps) Did you know they give
you free drinks when you gamble?

- Here's me and Elliot at Caesar's.
- Ohh!

- Here's me and Elliot at the MGM Grand!
- Uh-huh.

Here's me and Elliot at...

- Huh.
- at a chapel?

Here's me and Elliot slippin'
rings on each other's fingers.

- Here's me and El...
- (both gag)

- Oh my damn!
- Hey, girls!

Ooh, brekkie!

Did Yolanda tell you
how much fun we had?

Oh, she sure did!

Did she tell you Ms. Celine Dion
asked me where I got my tote?

(laughs)

- Am I gonna have a good story for Alan.
- (laughing)

(both laughing)

- Oh...
- (chuckling)

What's on my head?

Uh-oh.
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