03x16 - Episode 16

Episode transcripts for the 2015 TV show "800 Words". Aired September 2015 - October 2018.*
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"800 Words" revolves around a recently widowed, popular 800 word columnist for a top selling Sydney newspaper, who quits his job. He impulsively buys a house online in a remote New Zealand seaside town, then has to break the news to his two teenage kids who just lost their Mum, and now face an even more uncertain future. The colourful and inquisitive locals ensure things don't go to plan.
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03x16 - Episode 16

Post by bunniefuu »

Let's do it. Publish.

You do know this is, like,
a 'no going back' decision?

We all have these moments
when we're standing on a precipice

and we know that if we step off it,
there's no going back.

All your possible futures
erased with that one step.

They can seem insignificant at the
time, these life-changing moments.

It may not be until years later
that you look back and realise

this was the day, the hour,
the second...

Going live in five, four,
three, two, one.

...that my inevitable destiny
was set in motion.

- Is it actually that bad?
- Big Mac wants to go to Mars?

I'll boot him all the way to Mars.

I don't see how they can build
a space station or anything

on iwi land.

- An iwi is?
- Is a tribe or a Maori community.

- I know that.
- Oh!

- Kia ora.
- Which is where Ngahuia comes in.

And Ngahuia is quite
high up in our iwi,

so she would have granted the consent.

How long have they been planning this?

Actually, I think a while.

It was back before the wedding,

when you were sleeping on
the couch at my place.

That couch still going spare?

Oh, Woody,

you and Tracey will sort
out your differences.

If only we had an insider
at the council.

Someone who would do
some investigating for us.

There's a much simpler solution.
We'll just ask Big Mac.

I think you'll find that
we're worrying about nothing.

He loves this town. He's not gonna
sell us down the river.

(LAUGHS)

No problem George, see you then.

Tell me again.

Fiona found some of our
confidential documents.

Because you left them lying around?

No. No, they were... in my undies draw.

Why was Fiona in your...
Oh, I don't want to know.

Sorry, I still don't know
what we're doing here.

Just look for anything
space-station related, OK?

Let's do it.

OK.

I'll keep watch. You go.

Hi... Tom. How are you?

Fine, thank you, Hannah.

Oh, great.

You have business at the council,

when Sean's away on paternity leave...

Oh, that baby, though, eh?
How cute is it?

Very.

We're OK. Let's just keep looking.

Is there a reason you are loitering?

Is loitering a crime?

Well, it can be, yes.

Oh, OK.

Well, bye. (LAUGHS)

Bye.

So, Dad invited her over so she could
be here when I go to the ball,

except now I'm not going.

Oh.

Yeah, I think I just found...

Just take pics of everything you can.

I just don't want her to know that
I've been scrapping with anyone.

She thinks I've made heaps of friends.

You've made one.

I am so, so sorry for what I said.

I didn't mean it.

You know I care about Poppy.

- I think she's a great kid...
- I know, I know, I know.

I... I get it, Trace.

Oh, I missed you last night.

I know, I hate sleeping on the couch.

It's bloody hard, eh?

Yeah, I know.

It's like all of a sudden we have
something to fight about, you know.

Before, it was just, like,
"Who left the milk out?"

or what movie we were gonna see.

Oh, I meant the couch was hard,

but yeah, yeah,
the parenting thing is hard too.

Yeah.

So are you gonna stick to your g*ns
on the school ball?

- Woody...
- I'm just...

I'm worried about what Mary's
gonna think, that's all.

I will take full responsibility.

Or we could just say
she's going to the ball.

Well, welcome home.

We had to get out of our place anyway.

The owner wants to rent it out
for exorbitant rent over summer.

That's my problem.

Summer's coming and the rent
everywhere goes crazy.

No, no, no need to thank us.

But we did some investigating
at the council.

- You didn't?
- Hannah, that is ridiculous.

But they've found some stuff.

Arlo took pics of all these documents.

Yeah.
Don't know if it's helpful, but...

We're seeing Big Mac in the morning.

There's no need to go all
Maxwell Smart about this.

- Who?
- Delete the pictures, Arlo.

But we haven't even
looked at them here.

And you're not going to. It's illegal.

Yeah, yeah. Bye, guys.

Katie, um, look,
about your housing crisis...

I wouldn't call it a crisis yet.

I know there's no room here, but...

why don't we look for a house
that does have room?

You know, I can sell up,
get somewhere bigger.

That is a lovely offer but you are
not selling your house for me.

I want to, Katie.

Monty has found something
in our price range

and we're looking at it tomorrow.

If it's in Mum's price range,
it could be a hovel.

Billy...

We will be fine.

- Shay, are you going to school ball?
- Oh, are you asking her?

SHAY: I'm only going to school
to get the credits to get to uni.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)

Oh, my god.

OK. Just ignore that.

What happened, Shay? Did you fail
at being a checkout girl?

And sit.

OK, everyone, good morning
and welcome to our new person.

Now, I know we're all excited
about the school ball on Friday.

Not Poppy.

But we need to concentrate

because also on Friday
we have the NCEA assessment,

which we all know about
and have started preparing for, yes?

No, not you, Shay.
You've had no time to study.

No, I want to do it.

Maybe your baby brother can help you
with the hard stuff,

like spelling your name
at the top of the paper.

- Lindsay...
- (STUDENTS LAUGH)

Sorry, miss.

So we'll spend today going over
any questions anyone has

ahead of the assessment.

Weld is about to make New Zealand
the next nation to go into space.

I'm still trying to work out
whether or not this is a joke.

There are countries that will pay
serious money

for us to launch their satellites.

Weld's in the perfect position,

with the point stretching
out over the Tasman Sea.

What exactly is your problem, Fiona?

Your Republic of Weld nonsense,
getting us all united

so that you could distract us from
what was actually going on...

This is no smokescreen.

If Stafford had taken over,

it would've been hard
to get the consent.

And as for you, selling your people
down the river...

This is good for my iwi.

It is money for education,
health, housing.

Where's the housing meant to go?
You're using all the land.

I think what we're wondering

is if it's all so positive,
why the secrecy?

Because people would have got up
in arms, a bit like Fiona is now.

It's not about the good of the town.

It's about what it's always about
for the McNamaras, ego and money.

Fiona, Fiona...

Look, for all his faults, Big Mac
loves Weld and the people in it.

- He wouldn't do anything to...
- Hey...

Sorry, can we just have a minute?

Stay where you are, George.

OK.

Look, I am very sorry
I wasn't honest with you

about why I was in Weld.

Apology accepted. Have a nice life.

(SIGHS)

I don't have time for it, George.

I'm ready for forever
and for a family and it's...

It's gotta be right, yeah.

Just don't get my hopes up next time.

Amazing views. A lot of character.

- Excellent outdoor entertaining...
- Monty! Cut the bull.

Look, once summer's come and gone,

there'll be a lot more properties
back on the market.

(COW MOOS)

This is awesome.

I guess we're taking it, then.

Let's do the paperwork.
Let's get you in there.

Hi. What's going on?

I'll just get the stuff from the ute.

Is that where you've been? With Zac?

Not WITH HIM with him.
I'm not that much of a slapper.

- No-one said you're a slapper.
- No, just a crap mum.

Jan, I didn't mean...

You're right, George.

I have been trying.

I really have, but, uh,
it doesn't come naturally to me.

You had a traumatic experience
at their birth.

That's gotta affect
the bonding process.

- Maybe.
- No maybe.

You have to see someone,
speak to someone.

I am. I will.

Stevo said to take a couple of extra
days, catch up with my friends,

go home refreshed.

You don't wanna stay here?
You can, you know.

You've got a full house. It's fine.

I'm sorry I called you a crap mum.

Well, some things, only old friends
can get away with telling you.

(HORN HONKS)

- What's going on, mate?
- Accommodation issues at my place.

Did, uh... did Fiona calm down?

I wouldn't say that.

You know it's not me
she's angry with, eh?

It's about Vince Culley.

Any excuse to run away from a romance.

That's good amateur psychology,
Big Mac.

- Well, you know I'm right.
- Yeah, possibly.

But I thought I should write a story
about the rocket launchers,

just set people's mind at ease.

Look, this venture is going to
revitalise this town, George.

Don't publish anything yet.

Now, I've gotta go into Auckland
on business, so...

Space station business?

Yeah... Personal, unfortunately.

It'll be fine as soon as I've thrown
some money at the problem.

When I come back, I will give you
a full and frank interview.

I look forward to it.

Perfect drive. No traffic.

Where's Mum?

Uh, she's just, uh,
putting her stuff away.

- Sweetie, hi!
- Hi!

Oh, my goodness,
it's so good to see you!

- It's so good to see you.
- You look beautiful!

- Mum, meet Tracey.
- Hey. How's it going?

So good to meet you.

Hey, thank you so much
for taking care of my little girl.

- Oh, it's been a pleasure.
- Liar.

Hey, I was actually thinking,
do you think it would be alright

if Pops has the day off tomorrow
so we can show Mary around?

- Oh...
- Is that OK with you?

- We've got that NCEA thing.
- What, she can't make it up later?

Uh, it's not really how it works.

It's OK, Dad.
You and Mum can go without me.

- You'll still have fun.
- Sure we will.

Yeah.

Hey, we could go for a surf.

OK. Fine. (LAUGHS)

So you had a good flight, eh?

Good, actually. I just can't believe
I'm seeing my little girl!

(PHONE RINGS)

- Hi.
- GEORGE: (ON PHONE) Hiya.

I'm coming for a visit but I think

Monty's given me the wrong address.

I'm... I'm here in this paddock.

But there's nothing here except
for this... this old house truck.

You've got the right address.

These are beautiful.

Do you have a vase?

Uh, yeah, in a box somewhere.

Do you have running water?

There's a little t*nk.

This place has got everything I need.

It's a pretty romantic place
to live, don't you think?

No, I don't.

- George...
- I think it's stupid, Katie.

- Don't move in here.
- I like it.

Oh, come on, Katie. You do not.
It's small, it's dark.

There's a definite smell of mice and...

I can handle the odd rodent. If I'm
happy, then you should be happy.

Well, I don't believe you're happy.

I believe you are... stubborn

and possibly a martyr

and I don't want you living
in a gypsy caravan.

It's not a gypsy caravan,
it's a house truck.

Who do you think you are,
telling me what to do?

Well, I'm the man who loves you, Katie.

I love you and I won't have you
lose your daughter over me.

Well, I said we'd get a bigger place.
There'll be room for everyone.

Shay doesn't want that.

She wants her dad and her brother
and I'm OK with that.

Yeah, well, anyone can see...

Oh...

It's just not right, Katie.

That is your opinion.

It's right for me, and if you're
gonna come here and be negative,

then don't come here.

Katie's got a new house.

Well, isn't that a good thing?

It's a tiny gypsy caravan.

(LAUGHS)

- It's not funny, Shay.
- Sorry.

I just had visions of clowns and lions.

No, just damp and mice.
She shouldn't be living like that.

Well, why is she?

Because she's stubborn and she's proud

and she thinks that certain people

don't want her living here with us.

Do you want me to move out again?

No, of course not.

Dad said this is gonna be good
for Weld.

Oh, it will.
All the jobs we're creating.

We're building a new access road.
That'll be the first thing.

houses to demo.

Properties to clear, the road to build.

Which houses are you gonna demo?

The block between Shackleton Hill
and Hillary's Stairs.

That's Katie's place.

Oh, well, the house she rents,

which has unofficially been
on the market for years.

You know that.

What's the problem, Monty?
It's just a house.

Well, I don't sell houses, Ngahuia.
I sell homes.

The fish of the day is terakihi,
the soup is chilli tomato.

- Before you kick me out...
- I won't

if you're a paying customer.

If you just come to bother me,
however...

I've fallen for you, Fiona.

I fell for you after that one night
back in .

I will never lie again.

From now on, I'm an open book because
I want the full deal with you,

the house, the kids, the pet dog.

If you like dogs.

The whole picket fence, then, eh?

Yes.

We've got a future together...
if you just say yes.

GEORGE: The thing about destiny

is we assume that we're
in charge of it.

Those insignificant moments
which become significant,

sometimes they're out of your hands.

While you're going about your business,

another bunch of random moments
are falling into place.

BILLY: Mum!

KATIE: What?

There's a mouse in here.

(SQUEAKING)

(SIGHS)

I don't think anything is gonna
go in at this time of night.

Nothing's going in anyway.

Call it a night, Shay.

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

Hello?

Sorry to get you out of bed, George.

I wasn't in bed. I couldn't sleep.

You put Katie in a gypsy caravan.

I didn't put her there,
she chose to rent there.

Look, George, I've made
a very disturbing discovery.

That real estate agents
don't have any morals?

That stings, George.

I'm sorry. I'm just upset
about Katie, that's all.

Well, so am I, especially
now that I know the truth.

Which is?

Katie's house is being bowled
to make away for an access road,

along with others bought
by my father and my partner.

Who told you this? Ngahuia.

But she's Katie's fr...

Katie's been in that house
for years.

- The art gallery, everything...
- Yes.

Bloody Big Mac.

Good for the locals, he said.
Revitalise our town, he said.

But how, you tell me,

is booting people out of their homes
good for them?

It's not. That's my point.

Arlo.

- (KNOCKS)
- Sorry to wake you.

Those photos from the council
I asked you to delete,

have you deleted them?

Uh, no, I hadn't gotten around to it.

Why? What's going on?

That is about to become clear.

Happy writing, George.

Why else do you think I'd come round

to the editor of the 'News of the
Weld's house in the dead of night?

Do what you must.

Go across. There you go.

- Thanks.
- Goodnight.

(PHONE RINGS)

Yep.

Hi, it's George.
I need you to meet me at the office.

Let's do it. Publish.

Alright.

Going live
in five, four, three, two, one.

You know no one's gonna see it, right?

It's, like, : in the morning?

It'll make nice breakfast reading
for them when they wake up.

GEORGE: A home is not just bricks
and mortar.

It's where you put the things you
love and the people you care about.

I knew there was a reason Ngahuia
was still hanging around.

A reason other than Monty, you mean?

So, what right does anyone have
to take that home away?

For the so-called greater good?

People are being kicked out of their
houses for a space station?

I told you this town was weird.

Because years might not seem much
to a property developer

with dollar signs in his eyes...

There you go, beautiful.

...but then, people motivated by money

rarely consider the people below.

When a woman who has lived
in her home for years,

raised a son there,
laughed, cried, loved,

lived within those four walls...

Whoa. George has gone full emo.

Well, I think it's very powerful.

...when a woman finds herself ejected,
on the street, in a paddock,

in a truck you wouldn't put a dog in,

and the people who put her there
to line their own pockets...

those people, they should be
bloody ashamed of themselves.

Shay?

- How did the exam go?
- It didn't. I left.

- Ah.
- It's too hard!

Well, it's only been two days.
Of course it's too hard.

It isn't my thing, Dad.

Yeah, I know, sweetie.

So, what is?

What happened to our agreement?

I'm driving back from Auckland
with the phone ringing off the hook.

I was gonna give you
a full and frank interview.

Would it have been, though,
full and frank?

I didn't know about Katie's house.
That's Vince's department.

Well, it's your vanity project.
It's your responsibility.

Yeah, 'News of the Weld'
is my business,

which you've used to pre-empt
an important announcement

and colour people's attitudes.

You give me one reason
why I shouldn't fire you.

Because I quit.

As you wish.

Good day.

I guess that makes me the breadwinner.

MARY: Do you guys know of
a limo hire company in Weld?

I was thinking I would shout
Poppy and Arlo.

Oh... No. No.

Mary, no, you don't have to do that.

Yeah, yeah, come on.
They've got to arrive in style.

And then you and Tracey
can share it too.

I really want to do something nice
for you guys, you know.

OK.

Mary, um, I've been lying to you.

About what?

Poppy's been banned from the ball.

Tracey had to discipline her
after an incident at the school.

Yeah. What incident?

Well, Poppy took to
Lindsay McNamara's hair

with a pair of scissors.

- To be fair, Lindsay's a nightmare.
- Yeah.

OK, I haven't heard about any of this.

I mean, she said everything was fine.

Yeah, she didn't want you to worry.

- And neither did we.
- What are you...

OK, so, first you lie about her
going to the ball.

W-what were you gonna have her do,
just get ready and pretend to go?

- Pretty much.
- Right.

Yeah, it's just, Mary,
you came all this way over here

and I wanted you to think
that I was handling it.

You know, being... being a good dad.

When we made the call
for Poppy to come and live here,

we did it in a split second.

We didn't really think it through.

No, but Mary, it's been great
up until now, honestly.

Woody, I miss her.

I miss her, Woody, and I think
it's time for Poppy to come home.

(KNOCKS)

Wow. You look beautiful.

For someone living somewhere
you wouldn't put a dog?

I'm a writer.
Sometimes I have to be dramatic.

How could you do that,
tell the world how tragic I am?

Well, you're not tragic.
You know, I didn't mention your name.

It's Weld.
You don't have to mention my name.

It's embarrassing.

I'm a grown woman and I...

can't afford a house that
doesn't have wheels.

I'm sorry.

Let's just go, shall we?

I did it because I love you,
because I hate what's happened.

- I quit my job over this, Katie.
- What?

- Well, I can't work for...
- Why did you do that?

Well, why is that a problem?

I'm not a bloody maiden
who needs rescuing.

Well, I disagree, actually,

because I keep asking you to
come and live with me and my family

and you keep saying no.

I don't need charity!

And actually, now you've quit your job,

you can't afford to be charitable.

Where are you going?
We're going to the ball.

(DOOR CLOSES)

(DOOR SQUEAKS AND CLOSES)

Oh, gorgeous. You wouldn't know
it was the same dress.

OK, come and have a look, quick.
See? I think that one's gorgeous.

- You look nice.
- Yeah.

Alright, well, have fun
not at the ball.

Don't worry.
What I have planned is much better.

- Shall we?
- See you later. (LAUGHS)

TRACEY: Oh, Billy, looking sharp.

- Thanks.
- Go crazy, mate.

Cheers.

He came on his own!

Yeah, well, he couldn't come
with his mate Poppy, could he?

I might sit this one out.

Woody!

Lindsay, wow, you look amazing.

- Thanks, Miss Dennis.
- Have fun.

- Did you have to be...
- Why are you being so nice to her?

- I have to be nice...
- After what she's done to Poppy?

Woody, we are the grown-ups here.

Hey, I try and see the good
in everybody

but that girl, the good is hiding
somewhere deep, deep down, OK,

and I don't think that good's ever
gonna come out if people like you

keep letting her get away with
behaving like a little...

Oh, you know what, I can't do this,

standing with a smile on my face
while Poppy's missing out.

That's not right, OK?
I'm sorry. I'm going.

Where are you going?

(SIGHS)

- Sorry I'm late. Where's he going?
- We had a fight.

Oh, my god.
George and I had a fight too.

Oh...

Come on.

I think reintroducing the ball
was one of my worst ideas ever.

POPPY: Gotta love an indoor picnic.

Yeah, well, it's New Zealand, -

it's gonna rain
at some stage of the night.

(LAUGHS) I love it.

So, what did they do
at a school ball anyway?

Well, apart from spiking the punch...

(LAUGHS)

..I don't know, I guess they dance.

Right.

So, do you want to?

Sure.

(LAID-BACK MUSIC PLAYS)

Give us a beer, thanks, Hannah.

- Hmm. Not another ball runaway.
- What is going on?

One of those nights, eh?

Katie and I are having some space.

Right.

Question, men who are married.

How do you know it's time
to pop the question?

Is there something you want to share,
Monty?

I've made mistakes before.

No-one's perfect, Monty.

Everyone has something.

What's your deal-breaker, Smiler?

I could never go with a vegetarian.

Yeah, for me, I reckon it would be

if someone was coming
in between me and my kid.

Come on. It's not that bad.

I just found my daughter, mate.
I'm not really ready to lose her.

- Yeah, it won't come to that.
- Yeah, but if it does...

You had one job, Ashley.

I can't believe we have nothing
to spike the punch with.

I don't know why you bothered coming
without your two dicky friends.

I'm just trying to go to the bathroom.

Oh, this is the lamest ball ever.

Yeah, because Arlo and Poppy
aren't here.

Because of you, like always.

You were the mean girl in preschool

and you're gonna be the mean old lady
in your old folks' home.


That was awesome.

We're closed.

And you're underage.

What? Your ball partner stand you up?

No-one asked me.

(CRIES)

Why would they? They're
all scared of me.

Well, yeah, you could try
and be a little bit nicer.

But I'm the town bitch.

It's hard to change a reputation
you've had since preschool.

And Arlo, I really loved him.

Well, you'll find someone else.

I doubt it.

I've already done everyone in Weld.

The happiest I ever was

was at the beginning of the year,
at your place with everyone.

Do you ever wish
you could just go back?

To the beginning of the year?

The time you were happiest.

Well, that was in Sydney,
when my mum was alive.

Sorry.

Jan asked me to go back
and live with her.

But I don't know.

What?

(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)

Yes.

What about?

No. You can tell me now.

OK. OK, fine.

- What's up?
- Big Mac.

Wouldn't say on the phone.

(KNOCKS)

Thank you for coming.

Uh, Fiona asked me to come with her.

Anything you've got to say,
you can say in front of George.

Not really. It's rather private.

If it's about Vince or you going
into bat for him, I don't...

No, of course it's not.

Look...

OK, fine.

Fiona, there's, um...
there's something...

There's something you don't know.

Another thing, you mean?

Not long after you and Robbie
were married,

he came to me with a problem.

Money or dr*gs?

Honestly, I don't care.

He's gone and I'm glad.

Yes, he's gone, leaving everyone
else to pick up the bloody pieces.

Grandpa, I can't sleep.

Come on, Robbie. Back to bed, wee mate.

I was rather hoping to ease my way
into breaking it to you.

Please, just... Just wait there.

Maybe this is what I should do
for a living,

run a drive-a-drunk service.

- Oh! I am not a drunk.
- (LAUGHS)

That's not what you're meant to do
with your life, Hannah.

Why did you give up
at the first hurdle?

OK, Tom's had one drink and it seems
he's talking nonsense too.

- (LAUGHS) Hey! See you, Tommy!
- Thanks, guys.

- Tommy!
- (LAUGHS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

- And what nonsense were you talking?
- Hey?

Oh, just about, you know,
moving back to Oz.

And why would we want to do that?

Well, 'cause Mary's gonna
take Poppy home

on account of us being bad parents.

She did not say that.

She didn't say that last part
but it's the truth, ain't it?

No.

But maybe that's what needs
to happen for now.

I mean, we haven't had
any just us time, you know.

We're newlyweds and look at us.

Just come to bed.

We'll talk about it in the morning.

No. The couch will do me tonight.

Wee man's a little bit unsettled.

Robbie Jr?

- Yeah.
- My god.

It was after his bloody groom spiel.

I thought he was locked up
in the cop shop in Stafford.

The truth is, we lost him.

He called the next day

and he was with the young waitress
from the bar.

Classy as hell.

He was ashamed, he was regretful,
he knew he'd made a mistake.

And he didn't want to lose you.

I was at home, pregnant,
the night before our wedding.

You were pregnant?

And he was knocking up the waitress
at his stag do.

And then, when I lost the baby,
he said,

"Everything happens for a reason, Fi."

Now I know what that reason is,

'cause he's a lying, cheating
scumbag, on top of everything else.

I'm so sorry.

You've got company.

Hey, stay in bed, wee mate. Come on.

You never said...
about the miscarriage.

Dodged a b*llet there, eh, George,
having a child with that bastard.

(PHONE BEEPS)

(BEEPING)

Hey. How was the ball?

How was your night?

It was excellent.

Amazing.

I'm just gonna walk Poppy home,
so I'll see you when I get back.

Goodnight, Poppy.

Aren't they revolting?

No. They're just lucky.

Did something happen
with you and Katie?

It doesn't matter.

You, uh... You ran away last night.

I heard everything I needed to.

Yeah, not quite.

Um, she's gone, the mother.

You have to be kidding me.

What kind of mother leaves her own son?

The kind who knows that she's got
a safety net like I've been

for the last four years.

Yeah, well, what's gonna happen to him?

I was kind of hoping...
you could tell me, Fiona.

Mary, please don't take Poppy home.

Woody loves her so much and
I think... I think he's a great kid.

She just had the misfortune of being
targeted by Lindsay McNamara.

What about you and Woody?

I mean, it's not really fair
to you guys.

I mean, you're gonna want to have
a family one day.

Oh, we haven't really
talked about that.

Well, you will. One day you will.

And to be honest...

I miss my girl.

Woody will be devastated.

- (DOOR CLOSES)
- Hello?

Hi.

Morning. Um, is Poppy awake?

Uh, yeah, she should be.

I just bought her...

That's very sweet. Go on through.

Something tells me
Poppy might be devastated too.

FIONA: He wants me to take
Robbie's wee boy.

Sorry?

Big Mac.

The mother's bailed to England
to be with her new bloke.

But what about Robbie?

Well, I wouldn't trust him
to raise a goldfish,

let alone a four-year-old.

Well, you know what they say,
you can't always get what you want.

The Rolling Stones say that, yes.

But it's times like this
that I think, well...

maybe you can get what you want,
just... not the way you thought.

You think I should consider this?

I can't think of anyone who would
give that little boy a better life.

Vince wants me to move in with him,
have a baby.

Before I threw orange juice
in his face,

but, you know... the offer's there.

- It never rains but it pours, eh?
- (SIGHS)

Do you love him?

I didn't love the idea
of an anonymous sperm donor

but you do what you have to do, right?

But you didn't do it.

Hey, Fiona.

Hi.

And bye.

Thanks, George.

What are you up to this morning?

Oh, I might go for a surf.

What about Katie?

Doesn't like surfing.

I mean, what are you going to do
about her and the house truck?

What, you think I should do something?

I do, because she's the second love
of your life.

Isn't she?

Just a stubborn as the first.

The thing about a house truck, Dad,
it has wheels.

Thanks for the insight, Shay.

(ENGINE STARTS)

- Hey.
- It's only me.

I don't think this thing has one
on the front...

Yeah, we'll talk about it
when we get home.

- Properly home.
- George!

Just hold on.

♪ 'Cause it's with you that I belong ♪

♪ And I've tried and I've tried ♪

♪ but I won't stop until I've won... ♪

- Here I am.
- ♪ Your love. ♪

What do you want to talk about?

It's been an amazing couple of months.

I feel like I couldn't believe my luck.

Sweetie, I don't wanna rush you
but I am a little busy.

OK, well, I'll wrap things up.

A couple of months where I felt like
I should pinch myself

because I thought I might be dreaming.

But I'm awake now.

Good.

And with my eyes wide open, I see you.

You know, I see me.

But I don't see us.

I'm sorry?

It was exhilarating while it lasted

but I can't be with someone

who doesn't believe
that a house can be a home.

Goodbye, Ngahuia.

(LAUGHS)

Hello?

Woody, Mary and I
have something to say.

Right, so it's a done deal,
then, is it?

Yes.

Tracey and I have fallen in love
and we're running away together.

What?

(LAUGHTER)

Mary's moving to Weld.

- Hey?
- Look, it's a great place

but it is missing one thing.

A big old country pub.

And Mum reckons she's done
her time in the desert.

What the bloody hell
has brought this on?

I kept Poppy from you for years,
Woody.

I'm not gonna do that again.

Especially not when
you're such a good dad.

We got another bloody Aussie in Weld!

- Yay!
- (CHEERS)

We'll have another Kiwi soon.

Hey!

Come here.

Well, especially if Woody and Tracey
make a little baby Aussie.

We'll see.

Yeah, let's just slow things
a little bit.

OK.

We just got here, remember?

(CLOSES DOOR)

Are you out of your mind?

No, I'm not out of my mind.

I mean, I was when I first came here
for a long time.

I mean, I was blinded with misery.
My family was broken.

But it feels like lately those pieces
are getting put back together.

And that's because of you.

George...

Look, I'm not asking you to move in
with us because I'm generous

or because I feel sorry for you.

It's because I'm in love with you.

And I don't want you living
in a house truck in a paddock

or even a house in a paddock.

I want you here with me.

With us.

When we're in a bigger house
with more rooms, but.

So, what do you say?

We love you, Katie, even if we
haven't shown it that much lately.

Yeah, and Shay has been
particularly difficult, so...

Um, excuse me, man-whore?

Oh, that's nice for a checkout chick.

So?

OK.

sh**t! Billy!

(COW MOO, SHEEP BLEATS)

(COW MOOS)

GEORGE: All the moments
big and small combine

to lead you to where you are
right here and now.

- What are you doing?
- Just... I'm just gonna get...

No, no, put the com down. Let's go.

What? Come on.

Hey!

Save me a steak, eh?

I'll be back after I take Jan
to the airport.

Such a gentleman, Zac.

More than you even know.

Time to really try and get this
'being a mum' thing sorted.

You can do it.

Especially now that I've got
mother's little helper. (LAUGHS)

- Gin?
- Nope.

Be good and, uh...

don't come back
with an Aussie accent, eh?

Why is Lindsay going to Australia
to be a babysitter?

She's my assistant.

Not just with the babies,
but at the magazine as well.

So shove that in your mince
and cheese piehole backwards.

My cousin is leaving on a jet plane.
Well played, Shay.

Lindsay's not so bad.

And you're leaving on a jet plane too.

Who will I hang out with?

You can hang out with me.

Oh, thanks, buddy.

At last she gets it.

I'm gonna need a reference.

What, a good one or an honest one?

Oi!

Maybe she didn't excel at the desk work

but weeks of police college
will sort her out.

Mwah. (LAUGHS)

♪ You will find a way in the end ♪

♪ You gotta take it easy, easy ♪

- ♪ And live your life
- ♪ And live your life

♪ Any kind of weather ♪

♪ you and me together ♪

♪ and you'll be fine... ♪

Dad. I have something to say.

You're both bloody good men.
And I love you.

- Love you too, Dad.
- Dad...

Don't speak. Just pour me one of those.

GEORGE: OK, Shay,
I've been thinking... Take a seat.

Before she went to law school,
Laura went backpacking.

Yes. I've heard all the stories.

And look, you're not gonna be
a lawyer like your mum

but you can still follow
in her footsteps.

In her will, she left both of you
a little bit of money,

under strict instructions to stay
in term deposit until you're .

But hey, life's too short.
So, go, use it now.

Go travelling with Siouxsie,
see the world.

Be young. Make stories of your own.

Are you kidding me?

I think your mum would approve.

Yeah, I think so too.

Oh, my god. Thank you, Dad!

You're not gonna get yours
till you're .

Well, I guess someone's gotta
stick around, keep you company.

Yes.

GEORGE: I picked up my kids, my life

and moved to a place
where we knew no-one.

Two years on, we're here
and we don't want to go back.

Because we're where we're meant to be.

We're home.

- I can come with you.
- Oh, my god!

(LAUGHS)

♪ And live your life ♪

♪ Every kind of weather ♪

♪ you and me together... ♪

Miles away, mate?

I had this dream that I d*ed
in Sydney that day,

along with Laura

and I was a ghost, walking lost...

until I came to this surf beach

and met a guardian angel.

That's a weird dream, mate.

Pretty weird guardian angel.

Right.

Good surfer, though.

♪ Easy, easy and live your life... ♪

Uh, yep. OK.

Hey!

You had me going, mate.

♪ You gotta take it easy easy ♪

♪ take your time... ♪

Everyone... let's eat.

(ALL CHEER)

♪ Easy, easy, we'll be fine. ♪
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