07x02 - The mommy problem

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The West Wing". Aired September 1999- May 2006.*
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An American political drama revolving around the White House Staff.
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07x02 - The mommy problem

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on The West Wing:

Okay. Let's go win this thing.

Why is Greg Brock of the Times
on your call log five times a week...


...in the months before
he published his leak story?

- You think the leak came from me.
- You need to stop the investigation.

- Excuse me?
- The evidence thus far suggests...

...the leak came from the White House.

We're getting movement
from Congress on education.

- That's the Santos plan.
- Probably doesn't have the votes...

- He definitely doesn't.
...but if he's interested...

He's interested because
the Vinick camp told him to.

- Could be.
- Haffley's playing you.

No, actually he's screwing you...

...and for the moment
we are comfortable with that.

Scheduling and Advance is thinking
little flags for Monday's bill signing.

- Little flags?
- American ones.

We've stopped using
the skull and crossbones?

They wanna line the
table with a big row of...

- Little flags. And the message is?
- "This is America."

- They do realize this is a fisheries bill?
- You'd like them to come up with a...

Something a little more specific
than a great big row of...

- Little flags.
- Thank you.

Little fish.

- There's a secret m*llitary shuttle,
that that's the only way...


... to have repaired the space station 's
laboratory module.


But with Brock refusing to answer
grand-jury questions...


... on his source for the top...

NASA announced the astronauts
fixed the shuttle by themselves.

- Anybody buying it?
- Not so much.

We've got a congressional committee
investigating a national-security leak.

Washington's devolving into another
gavel-splitting, nose-thumbing standstill.

Not to mention the fact
that a fisheries bill...

...could be my legacy as chief of staff.
- What's this?

White House Counsel wants
to put out a statement.

- We worked out the language in the car.
- "Respect for the paw"?

- "Law." Respect for the law.
- Looks like the "paw."

- Try writing at miles an hour.
- You think this is a good idea?

The White House Counsel wants it out.

You don't think Vinick
will stomp all over this?

I think the president
and White House Counsel want it out.

Now, if you don 't think I have
a personal stake in my economic plan...


... if you don 't think
it's personal for me...


... hey, if the country doesn't like it,
I'll be the first one unemployed.


We can't hang on to the jobs
of the past, none of us can.

The entire store of human knowledge
now doubles every five years.

A child that is born tonight
could live to see the nd century.

If we nourish innovation, if we
tear down red tape and regulation...

...that child could lead
a brand-new industry...

...can cure a dreaded disease...

...can touch a far horizon
that we can't even glimpse yet.

So if it's personal for you,
if you want your child to grow up...

...in a world fueled by new prosperity
and path-breaking discovery...

...then I need your vote.
Because you ain't seen nothing yet!

Start by noon,
the affiliates will carry...

Let's start it by noon.

Secret Service would prefer it
if you didn't wade into the crowd.

Tell them, put electoral votes on
the table, I'll do whatever they want.

How you doing there?
Thank you so much for coming.

Hi, how are you? Good to see you.
Thanks so much for coming out.

Popular Mechanics, .

I'm not making this up.
They predicted:

"In the future, computers will weigh
no more than and a half tons."

So if you think my plan for
high-tech jobs is a little light, then...

Anybody got any questions?

- Hey, you here all night again?
- I thought you left at : .

I came back when I saw the coverage
of yesterday's West Coast swing.

Our economic message is working,
so I'm revamping the plan.

We would have helped.

Tell Field I won't spend
that much on Delaware.

Tell Speechwriting to try a version
that wins votes.

And tell Advance I'm canceling
the foreign-policy reporters' meeting...

...and adding a town hall
when he gets to Tampa.

- What are those?
- People think campaigns...

...are about two competing answers
to the same question. They're not.

They're a fight over the question itself.

Now, Vinick is opening up a big lead
on security issues.

- That's box one.
- So we need to do more m*llitary.

No, if the race is about that,
we lose.

But we're way ahead
on most domestic issues.

This new economic message
could be our ticket.

We keep the conversation
in box number two, we win this thing.

- What's box three?
- Trivia.

Ephemera, stuff we can't control.

From today on, every speech,
every public event, box number two.

- You do this on Bartlet's campaigns?
- Toby Ziegler.

Soon, we'll go hairline for hairline.

CNN says the White House's making
an announcement about the leak.

No, they're trying to damp
that story down.

Tell it to CNN.

Operator, get me Toby Ziegler, now.

- Yeah.
- Whatever you're announcing...


...tell me you're gonna damp down
this leak story...

We're stopping our investigation
to cooperate with Congress.

Democrats don't care
if there are felons in the Sit Room.

Santos is gonna get tarred with...

- saying the White House
will halt its efforts to find the leaker.


Bad news for Matt Santos,
who just got the spotlight...


So a national-security leak,
is that in box number three?

- The economy. They add
serious lapses in national security.


Santos has been trailing his opponent,
Republican Senator Arnold Vinick...


Keep him away from the press. No.

No talking to the press
till we hear what Vinick says.

- We should have somebody with him.
- Bram's with him.

- A senior adviser, to handle things.
- I'm flying out this afternoon.

- What about Edie?
- Media consultants are coming in an hour.

- I'm flying out this afternoon.
- Josh?

Senator! The president's shutting
his investigation of the security leak.


Do you think there's a legal basis?

If that were my White House,
I'd seal the doors and windows...


... until we found that leaker.

And then I'd throw him
in federal prison.


Vinick's public schedule.
I need his schedule for the day.

- Josh.
- Is that the congressman?

What are they smoking
in that White House of yours?


First they bogart my education plan
for some congressional compromise...

...then they serve up a big fat pitch
for switch-hitter Vinick.

It's a legal strategy. We've gotta avoid
commenting or it'll swamp our message.

I have to make a statement.
It's all the press will wanna talk about.

Any comment drags us into a bad story,
miles off our economic message.

I'm having lunch with two dozen
foreign-policy reporters today.

- Josh canceled that about an hour ago.
- For what?


For a town hall on high-tech jobs.
And I'm making it a reverse town hall.

You ask people their personal stories.

No one gets to ask you
unscripted questions.


He can handle tough questions.
You should see him out here.

All this attention on the leak story...

...it's magnifying
the inevitable mommy problem.

- Mommy problem?
- When voters want a national daddy...


...someone tough and strong,
they vote Republican.

When they want a mommy
to give them jobs, health care...

... policy equivalent of matzo-ball soup,
they vote Democratic.


On domestic issues,
we're three points up.

We're better than Vinick on m*llitary.
The congressman was a Marine pilot...

... flying in the Gulf.
Vinick never even served.


Democrats don't b*at Republicans
on security issues.

I know it's frustrating, but we have
to stay in the box that we can win.

That's why Vinick att*cked Bartlet.
To force us back on security.

We avoid the press
and leave them no choice...

...but to cover our economic message.
- That's right.

One sentence and he boxes me into a
corner, doesn't even mention my name.

We gotta get to this crowd event.
We'll see you in Tampa.


- Thank you.
- Thank you, sir.

And having made the essential repairs...

... to the space station 's
laboratory module...


... NASA now expects
the astronauts to return home...


... within the next four to five days.

It's Josh again. I told him to call Toby.
He insisted on talking to you.

Find Toby, will you?

For the love of my sanity, talk to Toby.
He's my liaison to the campaign...

How could you
let the president do this...

...when I find a message that works?
- It was a legal decision.

You work in the most politicized
square footage in the country.

You turned this over to the Republicans,
who are gonna k*ll me with paper cuts...

...leak every incriminating detail
when it pleases them...

...and I never get back to my issues.

The president wants a fair investigation.
He wants politics out of this.

Call for a special prosecutor!

You're shutting down
your investigation? Go all the way.


Take it out of the political arena
for good.

While you're at it, find me a campaign
liaison who's not out to screw me.

A prosecutor rifling through every
can of trash from the past seven years?

Glad we have this chance to chat.
The last one was so gratifying.

I am begging you,
get the politics out of this.

You're putting politics in it.

You deal away my education plan.

You don 't give me a heads up
on political tsunamis.


I am the only thing between
Matt Santos and the megaphone...

...through which he is going to trash
his own party's White House.

Skip Kentucky.
We'll hit it through Cincinnati media.

Move this photo above the fold.
Every time we talk about g*n control...

...we have to say we respect the rights
of hunters and sportsmen right up front.

The Post wants to know if we canceled
the lunch to keep away from the leak.


Tell them no,
not everything's a conspiracy.

But you changed
to a reverse town hall because...?

Certain things are conspiracies.

- I need sexier economic policy.
- Sexier.

The press wants to write
about the leak. We want the economy.

- Let's show a little leg.
- By "leg," you mean...?

Targeted tax credits,
preferably indexed to inflation.

- When did you last go on a date?
- I don't wanna talk about it.

The Democratic media consultants
are waiting.

Okay, I'm running
a national campaign here.

- By yourself?
- Joey, days ago...

...we were going on unemployment.
We barely got the nomination.

We spent the last four days
arguing with the press...

...over Leo's cholesterol level.
I delegate.

- Name one thing you've delegated.
- I wouldn't have chosen this color.

You have to hire some heavyweights.
Bruno Gianelli.

There goes half our budget
on Italian loafers and minibar tabs.

You don't have a political director,
a chief speechwriter.

You don't even have
a communications director.

There's that huge empty office
next to yours.

Hi, I'm Bill.
They told me to show up after .

Absolutely. Welcome.
You can follow me.

There must be people on staff.
Surely a few of them are capable...

Not a single one of these non-shavers
would challenge my assumptions...

...stand up to me in a meeting...

- We thought we'd try it with crime...
- Just do it the way I asked, okay?

I mean, this isn't summer camp.

We're not making tie racks
out of plywood.

Not everyone has the savvy
to play the big game.

This is your desk.
Sit with Personnel.

Diana will give you business cards.
Policy working group starts at .

And that's when
I install the new phone lines?

- Front desk. Around the corner.
- Thanks for the business cards.

You bet.

We're about to sit down with
the party's top media consultants.

If you're not leaning on your staff,
lean on them.

These guys just want a slice
of the DNC media budget.

We slide them a contract so they won't
snipe at us on Meet the Press.


- Here's the list of attendees.
- What's she doing on there?

You said be sure
to invite Louise Thornton.

I said be sure not to invite her.

Thank you for coming
to this strategy meeting.

This is the greatest assemblage
of Democratic talent...

...since the last time
Jed Bartlet dined alone.

As you can see,
we're positioning Santos...

...very strongly on domestic issues,
especially the economy.

With a little discipline,
we can ride out today's press storm.

I want your input
on our message and strategy.

Your pals in the White House
are creating this storm.

They're bungling this leak investigation.
My Senate clients are nervous.

- Mine too.
- Very nervous.

Obviously, the president's got his legal
strategy, while the politics of the...

Why aren't you repackaging Santos
as a moderate?

No wonder half the Democrats
don't wanna share a stage with him.

- Gotta repackage him.
- Make him a moderate.

We think when the voters see his record
on deficit reduction and middle-class...

I don't see why Santos isn't sticking it
to Vinick with strong contrasts.

- He should Kn*fe him.
- With contrasts.

We didn't have a full convention
to define ourselves.

We're trying to run
a positive campaign...

...especially while the voters
are learning about us.

- Now, if you will look at the handout...
- You don't really want our input.

Everybody's here
for a piece of the media budget.

So get to the point, please.

It goes without saying that you will
each be part of the DNC media buy...

...as you can see on page two.

- We've got a strong story for voters.
- We're excited about the buy.

If I did want advice on the message?

- That would be hard to give.
- Why's that?

Because you don't have one.

She means that we can test
some dynamic new spots.

Yeah, that'd really fill in the picture.

I'm not talking about -point plans
or McGarry's love of egg whites.

I'm talking about the iconic.

Something you can put on a sticker
that tells people who Matt Santos is.

Eight days after the convention,
I still don't have a clue.

- Where are you going?
- I don't want a DNC contract.

I just came by to see if this was
your vanity exercise everyone says it is.

Besides, if I take your money, how can
I snipe at you on Meet the Press?


She doesn't speak for all of us.
We have a lot to talk about.

If we could get back to the DNC...
Was that page two?

You and I haven't always been
on the same side.

You mean those four times
I b*at your candidates?

It was three times.

I was counting
the two-to-one victory twice.

You're right, I don't have
this iconic, symbolic thing.

- My strong suit isn't...
- Isn't connecting with the electorate.

...reducing human complexity
to a box of soap flakes, no.

All I know about Santos
is he's smart and he's cute.

- That's hardly the stuff of leadership.
- It's better than fat and dumb.

That's a good bumper sticker.
You don't need me.

I think what you do is superficial,
but I know it's important...

...or I wouldn't be asking you
of all people for help.

I'm not a cultist like you.

We have different approaches
to campaigns.

- I win them.
- I'm trying to be friends.

You saw Vinick on TV this morning.
It wasn't about content...

...but he was tough and authentic.

He was Neil Young
to your Neil Diamond.

- I like Neil Diamond.
- Sure.

We can't fight about security.
We'll get k*lled.

I'm trying to change the conversation
to the economy.

How about moving it to:

While Santos was serving in the Gulf,
Vinick was serving himself chardonnay?

That Santos is still serving
in the reserves.

He's been in the Senate for years.
He was born in a hearing.

If you're not using the phrase
"Beltway Arnie"...

We're not going negative,
not now, not first.

You don't think you're running
a negative campaign?

Why are you always talking
about high-tech jobs?

Vinick uses a manual typewriter
and his future's a set of plastic gums.

You're doing political smear.
I'm saying do it right.

- We're getting lots of calls on this leak.
- How many?

- .
- We're not commenting.

The Post still thinks
today's lunch was canceled...


...because we're hiding from the leak.
- Tell them we cancel lunches all the time.

We're fast and nimble
and move like the night, okay?

Don't mind me. You and Elmer Fudd Jr.
Just keep changing the conversation.

Hang on.

Manifest Lou
for the Florida-California trip.

- Ten minutes ago you didn't want her...
- Her ideas are nutty.

She doesn't play well with others,
but she's got an IQ of .

She knows
this image stuff backwards...

...and it's better than having
her lobbing mortars at me.

- See if she wants the vegetarian option.
- She'll have the raw meat.

I want you to come with me.
You can pick up a bag on the way.

If the congressman signs off, I'm hiring
you as director of communications.

- I don't think so.
- I'm talking about the future here.

Yes, I don't have any desire
to play in your one-man band.

I am asking you to meet with
the next president of the United States.

State's about to brief POTUS
and VPOTUS...

...on the Norwegian working dinner.

Will you make sure the NSC's in the
Oval? State's trying to do an end run.

- The president's ready, Ms. Cregg.
- Thank you.

Plus, Brock still wants a few minutes.

Tell him no.
In Norwegian if you have to.

That would be "nosk."

What is it?

Counsel's office says the first round
of subpoenas are coming...

...and they start with junior staff.
- Okay.

Obviously, the focus
is on the chief of staff's office.

On our office.

- If there's anything you want me to...
- I want you to tell the truth.

Josh, you have a comment
about this Bartlet situation?

I got brand-new policy, also known
as hard news. Don't all thank me.

The congressman's
not taking questions?

He's proposing a major new tax credit
for research.

It rewards innovation in the economy.

- When will you make him available?
- After you write about the tax credit.

Republicans are saying Democrats
can't be trusted with national security...

Santos has to be furious at the
president. How does Leo McGarry feel?

He's upset we're not doing more
to reward innovation in the economy.

- You have a comment on the Post?
- I'm against it, off the record.


There's a story on their website that
Santos has canceled four lunch events.

- Lunch events?
- Yeah, why always lunches?

Let me get this...

They got a story
that we're canceling lunch events?

Four in two weeks.
They're calling it "Santos Siesta."

First, that's ridiculous.
Second, it's a cheap stereotype.

- Why is it always lunches?
- You can't be interested in this.

As opposed to the same speech
we've written about two days in a row?

- We'll see you after the event.
- You heard about the siesta.

When I said to say we cancel lunches,
it wasn't to emphasize...

We cancel lunches all the time.
A fine-line situation.

- Not really.
- So how do we deal?

We hold lunch events this week.
I don't care if we're stuffed.

We put out a sandwich
and call it a lunch.

- Doesn't this fall into box three?
- I use a message grid, so sue me.

That is what happens when you fight
scandal with spreadsheets.

I'm running a presidential campaign.
You got a better idea? I'll take it.

Vinick's slugging you.
How about slugging back?

This lunch thing was our goof.

You don't think somebody's
looking for them?

We don't give them anything else,
by the end of the day...

...they'll file stories
about the tax credit.

- I'm not commenting on the leak.
- This isn't about the leak.

- Don't tell me there's another...
- No, this one you're gonna like.

So is this covered
in Josh's press memo?

No, it's in Josh's scheduling memo.
It's a listen-only conference call.

We'll do it right after
the reverse town hall.

You talk about the tax credit
for reporters...

...but you can't hear them speak.
They can listen.

I can open it up to hand gestures.

Then you're meeting Lou Thornton,
a media strategist Josh wants to hire.

Oh, she wins a lot of races.

She probably won't do it, but she is
what we need in Communications.

Aggressive, out-of-the-box. Her ideas
would be heavily filtered through me.

- Anything you can do to get her.
- I'll grab you when they start your intro.

So let me guess,
the press is going bananas...

...because I haven't been
commenting on the leak.

I think I have a way
to close the security gap overnight.

Strafing runs over
the National Press Club, huh?

TIME magazine has a copy of a letter
from the Marine Reserve command.


You've been called up
for reserve training...

...in Fort Worth, Texas, for two days.

- The Tuesday after Labor Day.
- How'd the press get this before me?

From now on, you're gonna be
the last person to read a lot of your mail.

Congressman, it's Christmas in July.
Deck the halls with g*ns and a*mo.

This is what we couldn't do
at the convention:

You in fatigues, wind in your hair,
trench Kn*fe in your teeth.

This is an annual required thing, right?

Do a physical, some flight hours,
marksmanship...

With very big g*ns. g*ns are very big.

- It won't look like a stunt?
- Following orders.

- They've started your intro.
- Okay.

Sir, give me your best bottle
of champagne.

Make it your th best.
Nothing with a screw-off top.

- Remember me?
- Watch the reverse town hall.

They're doing introductions.

Leave so I can talk about stuff
you can't hear.

Sure thing.

We're about to make
a big announcement.

Two days after Labor Day...

...the congressman's
doing reserve duty in Texas.

He's following orders.
We announce it without comment.

- Picture's worth a thousand bayonets.
- Fantastic.

Coordinate a press pool
with the Marine Reserve command.

Make sure his uniform
fits like a glove.

Work with the congressional office,
get documentation.

- Documentation.
- Lay it out for the press:

Dates, details, how he's done this
every year like clockwork.

Sometimes he resets the clock.

When it needs rewinding,
just when it needs...

He's postponed it a few times.

For critical national-security votes
in the Congress.

Usually to campaign for reelection.

I think once because
his daughter was sick.

- Matthew Santos!

- We've been getting press inquiries.
- Yeah, I'm sure.

A lot of them, on why we ended
this internal investigation...

...and how we plan to deal with it...
- Refer them to Counsel's office.

- Which is good...
- Wall this off from the White House...

...so we can do some governing.
- Counsel's not taking questions.

- Some walls are thicker than others.
- See your call sheet.

There are reporters
outside your office...

Which is why
I'm nowhere near my office.

How's it playing out there?

Aside from Arnold Vinick's plan
to turn the government into Dragnet?


I know it's bad politics.
It's for the right reasons.

Men with good reasons shouldn't
set precedents for men with bad ones.

- What's this?
- Witness list for congressional hearings.

- What I could get.
- Greg Brock will refuse to testify.

Think Congress holds him
in contempt?

First Amendment
isn't what it used to be.

- I've been avoiding him all day.
- As you should.

So I moved it around a bit.

At least I did real reserve training
with the big g*ns every year.

Almost.

It'll look like a stunt, won't it?

Fourteen weeks before the election,
trailing on security...

...you skipped it for politics
and Flintstones chewables...

...we announce you're putting on a
uniform the first day of fall campaigning?

It'll look like
Ringling Bros. Barnum & Bailey Circus.

Five minutes, then a clutch
with the city council chair...

...before we take off
for Fort Lauderdale.

Is it Lou or Louise?

"Lou" started in college when
I signed up for men's intramural softball.

They were a player short.
Turned out I was the best hitter.

- So Lou.
- Louise is fine.

What did you think
of the reverse town hall?

I didn't like your joke
about being unemployed.

- Just a funny line.
- Shaving cream and seltzer are funny.

Unemployment's not funny.

I got the council chair after this.
We could go egg her house.

Was there anything that you liked
about the town hall?

Sure. I assume you have people around
to tell you how great you are.

If you don't, you should hire some.
They're wonderful.

No, we pay a premium for that.

Are you familiar
with the mommy problem?

- I am.
- Do you think I have one?

That's something you
have to answer yourself.

Beltway Arnie's kicking you
all over the map.


The White House is treating you
like a fly on their windshield.

I'm wondering
if you have what it takes...

...to come out of the protection program
and kick back.

Councilwoman Stone,
the next president.

- Hello, pleasure to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

Hello, how are you? Oh, we're gonna
take a picture here. Okay.

Great.

- Mr. Lyman, have you okayed banner...?
- Not now.

- We have three print requests for...
- Later.

We gotta write up some options.
This press marginalia can wait.

Great.

He's postponed his reserve drilling
a third of the time.

Forty-one percent. Whoever gave
that letter to TIME has to know that.


He stayed in the reserve
all these years.

Our problem is Santos served too much,
whereas Vinick never even served.

- You're gonna be good at this.
- What was option one?

Reporting for duty
right after Labor Day...

...looking like a g*n-toting,
flag-waving phony.

- A no?
- No on option one.

Soda shop's closed.

- May I ask what you're...?
- It's a law-school study trick.

Not getting up till we figure this out.
Option two, postponement.

Highlights previous postponements,
if they even grant him one this time.

- Congressman.
- Stay seated.

I got the high-tech CEOs
waiting for me across the hall.

I wanted you to know
I got Lou to come onboard.

- Director of communications.
- That's terrific.

You were right, she's what we need,
a whole different take.

- I didn't think she'd do it.
- There's just one small condition.

- What's that?
- Reporting directly to me.

If you got a minute,
we got an AP problem.

- I don't. Edie, will you tell him why?
- He doesn't have...

I'm trying to solve a problem
times bigger...

...than some AP nonsense.
I'll handle it later.

- You'll wanna handle it now.
- What?

The AP's got
some kind of photograph.

Something that took place
at our hotel in Cleveland.

- Photograph?
- Of the congressman's bed.

I need a moment.

Can you seal the elevator?

- Is this about TIME magazine?
- I'm working on that.


- Hi.
- Maybe Lou's right.

Maybe there is a coordinated effort
to throw us off our game.

Maybe it's Vinick, maybe the RNC.
I don't know.

- What are you talking about?
- AP has a photograph...

...of something that happened
in Cleveland in your hotel bed.

Is there anything you'd like to tell me?

His name is Bruce.
He's a flight attendant on Aer Lingus.

They've got a connecting hub
out of Hamburg.

At first it was long walks
along the Reeperbahn...

- I'm sorry, but I have to ask.
- Jeez.

- It's my job. I'm sorry.
- Wait a minute.

Cleveland?

- I don't understand.
- He wouldn't let me in.

I should have suspected something.

Fifteen years, I've never been stuck
in box number three.

- Tell me what happened.
- He demolished his bed.

- Demolished it?
- It was his wife's only night on the road.

It was an old wooden bed.
Hand cranks, what-have-you.

- Hand cranks?
- And what-have-you.

As much as I respect
good craftsmanship...

...I'm still not clear
about what happened.

- They broke it together. Get it?
- Wire photo's out.

- Oh, my.
- Hurricane Santos.

You repeat that outside this room...

...I'll have you knocking on doors
in Alaska, not the urban part.

Give me that. That guy's
the next leader of the free world.

I won't have us ogling his dirty...
You know.

The hotel proprietor claims the bed
was steel-reinforced.

We have a bigger problem
than Helen's Ohio surprise.

He's been called up by the reserves
after Labor Day.

- Two days of marksmanship and training.
- Bless his broken headboard.

He's postponed it
percent of the time.

- Postponed it?
- Forty-one percent of the time.

"See you when I'm done
with government business"?

As in, "See you when it's convenient
and no one has a runny nose."

If I'd had a full convention, I would've
had Marines in the parking lot in foxholes.

You won't lift a finger against Arnie,
who never served...

...and who flopped his way
through years of hearings.

I'm not going negative.
People barely know who Santos is.

A vacuum gets filled. That's why
he's the swinging king of the siesta.

You won't admit the obvious, that the
president screwed up on the leak.

The president is trying
to take politics out...

Why not call a prosecutor?
Why won't Santos call for one?

You're my communications director.
Help me solve this problem.

You're the problem, not some box
on a grid, not the reserves.

No negative campaigning, no outside
opinions within miles of the candidate...

...no deviation from some
Jonestown-like obsession...

...with your pals at the White House.

When are you gonna stop
drinking the Kool-Aid?

I need Hobson at Treasury.

They're worried about
currency devaluation in Argentina.

While I like a nice prime rib for cents,
the OAS ain't buying.

- The message for Monday's bill signing?
- Scheduling and Advance wants flags.

This is America.
I want an actual message.

I'm gonna read them the riot act to the
tune of "Battle Hymn of the Republic."

- Greg Brock is in your office.
- Why is Greg Brock in my office?

He walked in, he wouldn't leave.
I didn't think you'd want Secret Service.

Think again.

We're professionals. We're
under investigation by professionals.

It's bad enough you're all over
my call sheet.

Congress has every paper
aside from my crosswords.

Leave this office
before I call in an armored division.

- I have a question about daycare.
- Toby covered that.

We're deadlocked at million.
CBC's pushing after-school care.

- We can't get that out of committee.
- That's great. Della's and a half.

Now, she can live with her mom
while I'm in prison...

...but her mom travels for her job.

Why isn't there some voucher you can
give your kids to come with you...

...and get them into daycare
wherever you go?

Prison?

I wouldn't talk to the grand jury.
I was held in contempt.

I report to Cumberland
Minimum Security Prison tomorrow.

- Should be on Fox by now.
- You can appeal.

He refused to stay the contempt.
At least months.

I have to appeal from behind bars.

You don't have to worry
about your call sheet.

Name your source.

I always liked you in that suit.

He's already late for the state party
reception downstairs.

No. No, Helen, I don't.

No. No... I mean, short of us
crawling under there...

...with a screwdriver and a roll
of duct tape, I don't see how we could...

Oh, yeah. Because I personally love
the fact that it's in all the papers and...

Honey, bring a sledgehammer
with you...

...when we meet in Michigan
and we can...

I gotta go.

Bye.

- How many papers is this gonna be in?
- It's all over blogs and cable shows.

Now the first-tier press
gets to cover the coverage.

This is my fault.
I should have pushed out more policy.

I knew it would be hard to hit back
against this phony, superficial crap.

I don't think it's phony or superficial.

These stories stick
when it confirms what people think.

- Face it, nobody knows what to think.
- So we deserve it?

You haven't given an alternative
formulation on who he is...

...so he's taking blow after blow.

- I'm positioning him as a guy with...
- How about a guy with a spine?

You wanna hit back,
get sucked back into the leak story?

I want him to get distance
from the leak.

President's approval is at percent.
The leak has barely made a dent.

That's why he seems like
his infant cousin.

I'm sure you've never
presented that argument.

Okay. You want me to have a spine,
you want me to be nice to my cousin.

- Let's talk about my reserve drill.
- You have to resign your commission.

- Sir, she's right.
- You can't show up after Labor Day...

...when you've postponed
service five times.

It'll look like the mother
of all staged photo-ops.

Because I moved it?

You wear a uniform
when it fits your schedule.

And never mind my years of m*llitary
service compared to Vinick's none.

Never mind one of the most pro-m*llitary
voting records of the Democratic caucus.

Why'd you leave active duty?
You went to Annapolis for free.

The taxpayers were supporting
your career.

Your trench mates
don't have a story to tell?

By resigning, I'm saying what?

You are ready to be
president of the United States.

We have a civilian-led m*llitary.
You are through playing G.I. Joe.

He has to get to the reception.

TIME's called twice.
We have to tell them something.


Tell them if the country
doesn't like my m*llitary record...

...I'll be the first one unemployed.

Tough press day.

"Vinick's comments
called into question...

...the Santos campaign's support
of the Bartlet White House...

...as Congressman Santos
parried tabloid charges...

...and strained to articulate
a message."

"Strained to articulate."
It's like he was drooling into a cup.

So Vinick won the day.

Yeah, by walking five feet
from his office...

...while the Latin Luther Vandross
napped his way across the continent.

- Now can we revisit the Bartlet question?
- Hi, let me introduce myself.

- I'm the problem.
- I interpret the facts, I read the data.

Which is why you need me
and why you resent me.

I'm not a Bartlet-ista
and I'm not a Santos-ista.

I am completely untethered
to your crazy cults of personality.

Also known as "ethics."

What is unethical about saying,
"Jed Bartlet is a great president.

Make way on Mount Rushmore.

But in this one instance,
this lapse in security, he goofed"?

- Someone in your White House goofed.
- I read that data too.

No one thinks the White House goofed.
It's a press obsession.

A Vinick trick to get us onto issues
that we can't win on.

Do you think Vinick participated
in last night's tracking poll?

It took us a couple hours
to place Helen on that trip.

Remember, she came out
as a surprise for you.

Anyway, that's why
some of the stories imply that...

- What is this?
- Polling question from last night's track.

"Was the president right
to end his investigation...

...of a classified security leak? Yes, .
No, . Don't know, ."

Are you suggesting
that I criticize the president?

I would never suggest that.
But you asked me to run this campaign.

I don't want you thinking
I'm holding back data.

- Hi.
- Congressman Santos?

You guys got a job to do,
whether I like it or not...

...so I'm not gonna pretend
that the afternoon naps...

...and the bedside shrapnel
don't make for good newspaper copy.

So I'm going to address this once,
just this once...

...and that'll be the end of it. Okay?

No way was that bed steel-reinforced.

Still no comment about the president
stopping his investigation?

You know, if that were
my White House, I'd call in the FBI.

I would do everything in my power
to cooperate with both Congress...

...and the grand jury.

I'd play it by the law, not by politics.

And in case you haven't noticed, that's
exactly what this president is doing.

Certainly no one expected
today's decision...


... which means that Greg Brock
must report to jail immediately.


That's right. He reports to
Cumberland Minimum Security Prison...


... in Maryland immediately,
without any appeal...


... without any time to make his case
to a higher level of court.


- Did you see?
- Yeah.

- I need Scheduling and Advance.
- Scheduling and Advance? Why?

The fisheries bill signing. They think
our message should be a row of flags.

- It was my idea.
- A row of flags?

Because he's the American president
and he signed a bill into law.

As long as we're being investigated
by our own government...

...I don't see why we should be
any more clever than that.

- Of the White House press corps.

One of the deans of the Washington
press corps, if you will.


- The First Amendment is sacrosanct.

I've been thinking about the reason
I b*at you on those primaries.

You wouldn't pound
your candidates like I did.

This is too important
to make it personal.

It's different when you build
a candidate from nothing.

When you're the person he looks to
for more than just shock therapy.

The congressman wants you.

Just Josh.

I appreciate what you said
about the president.

I've been thinking about the reserve drill.
I think you should do it.

Get the past postponements out today,
ahead of the letter.

- If they slam us for it, we'll deal with it.
- Look out the window.

It's the Rocky Mountains.

- You turned the plane around?
- We're going to Fort Worth.

The Marine commandant in Washington...
He was my CO in the Gulf.

- He said I could get it out of the way
right now if I want.

You know, I didn't have as much as
a high school diploma in my gene pool.

That commission's the reason why
I'm on this plane. I'm not giving it up.

Before anybody in the press
gets a chance to take a sh*t at us...

...the whole country
sees you in uniform.

Better cancel our schedule
for the next two days.

Sorry about Lou before.

She's got a lot to contribute,
but should do it through me.

- Some of her ideas are extreme.
- Doesn't mean I don't need them.

- You feel you need her at the table?
- I feel you do.

- And others.
- There has to be somebody in charge...

...to filter out knucklehead stuff.

- On the Bartlet campaign...
- Jed Bartlet was in charge.

You were right about the president.
Louise was right about leaving a vacuum.

I need to hear it all.

Yep?

They're ready with that state briefing
in the staff cabin.

We're gonna b*at him on security issues,
b*at him on domestic issues...

We're gonna b*at him on trivia too.

The Santos campaign
refused to comment on the drill...


... saying the candidate was taking care
of a personal obligation...


... and would return
to economic themes when he...


I think it's a charade,
a made-for-TV movie.


Why do you think he stayed
in the reserves?


Vinick takes a sh*t at
the president.


Maybe he's sincere about it,
but Santos defends Jed Bartlet...


... and then says, "Hey, I don 't
just fund planes..."


We jumped four points
in last night's poll.

What about the gender gap?

Might wanna use
"Congressman Casanova" in an ad.

- Half the press are calling it a stunt.
- They're all running footage.

- When he goes on offense, he goes.
- Welcome to the cult of personality.

I need that brochure copy
on his m*llitary record.

Edie, get Helen's schedule.

We want her on the road at least three
days when he gets back from Texas.

Ronna, Ned, foreign-policy events.
Best idea gets an extra fortune cookie.

- Are we ordering Chinese?
- I've got menus.

- Get the foreign-policy binders...
- Plus economic announcements...

- Santos in that flight suit...

Aides of Senator Vinick say
that he will stick to his game plan...


... that they are confident that
on national security and other issues...


... their candidate
has a commanding advantage.
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