03x09 - Therapy

[bunniefuu]

Any sign of Vlad?

I have searched

the length and breadth

of five counties,

and nothing.

You're back early.

Did you search properly?

- I assure you...
- You assured me you'd be a good mentor to my son,

so, why has he felt the need to go missing for a whole week?

DOOR OPENS

If anything has happened to him, the Vampire High Council and I

will hold you responsible.

Perhaps I could pin some "lost" posters on some trees.

This is my SON, not some missing MOGGY!

THUNDER CRASHES

All done, Miss Ingrid?

Miss Ingrid OK?

I wouldn't know. I haven't seen her for weeks.

Yeah, but...

Ryan?

You there?

WOOD CRACKS

I'm here, sis.

Ryan,

thanks so much for coming...

Don't get any closer!

I can't trust myself.

How are you?

I look a real state, don't I?

No.

It's just so good to see you.

How are you getting on?

Vlad's gone, Ingrid's weird,

the Count and Bertrand are at each other's throats,

and I've nearly run out of stasis spray.

They could turn on me at any minute,

so...I left.

What is it?

- Nothing.
- Ryan.

I'm only just hanging on here.

There's not much of the human part of me left. I...

..I hoped you'd found a cure.

I tried.

- Honest.
- I know.

I know.

- I'll go back.
- No.

- It's too dangerous.
- I'll be OK.

There's one more thing I can try.

There's a special book. If I can open it maybe there's something in it.

- I hate asking you to do this.
- It's not your fault.

It's Ingrid's.

She did this to you.

Master?

Oh. All I want is a hot mug of type O and my cosy coffin.

It's, uh, Miss McCauley.

She's worried about Miss Ingrid and, uh, wants to see you.

Why is there no rest for the wicked?

I saw Ingrid earlier.

She seems very down.

Really? I wonder why.

Well, from the very little I could get out of her,

she's...got no sense of purpose,

feels her life is meaningless.

Of course it is, she's a girl.

Sorry?

I was just saying it's very difficult raising a young girl.

I can imagine.

I've got a friend. Dr Seward.

A psychologist. I can ask her to see Ingrid.

That would be kind. I'll sign any committal papers.

That won't be necessary. She'll come and see her here.

Oh, of course.

One step at a time.

Hello. You must be Ingrid.

I'm Dr Seward,

but you must call me Joan.

Can I open the curtains?

No.

OK. Shall we, shall we sit down?

Right.

OK, Ingrid.

Can you give me one word

that best describes your life?

Pointless.

I'm sure...

..others don't see you in that way.

What about friends and family?

- I don't have friends.
- Why?

I suck the life out of them.

OK.

Let's talk about your family.

THUNDER CRASHES

You're so...

fat. We could carpet the castle with one of your enormous dresses.

Yes, and we could sandblast the stonework

with a whiff of your wormy soil breath.

I hate you.

I hate you more.

Atilla. Krone.

What an unpleasant surprise.

What is that?

Home sweet home.

We're nothing special.

'There's a book. Maybe it has a cure if I can find it.'

FOOTSTEPS

"This is my...son!

"Not some missing moggy!

"Oh!

"Renfield! Renfield!

"Come polish my boots with your tongue!"

What do you think you're doing?

Bringing in your freshly-washed cape, master.

Well, now you've worn it against your disgusting carcass,

it's going to need washing again, isn't it?

- Yes, it is.
- Hmm.

And when you've finished, you can polish my boots,

with your tongue, can't you?

- Yes, I can.
- Hmm.

HE LAUGHS EVILLY

Can you tell me

what you see when you look in the mirror?

Nothing.

Do you mind if I tell you what I see when I look at you?

I see a girl who, for whatever reason,

has allowed herself to...

..become detached from life.

And we need to...

we need to reconnect you.

What are you feeling right now?

Irritated.

I can have that effect on people.

What else are you irritated at, Ingrid?

Vlad's proved he's not a worthy heir.

It's only fair I take his place.

Don't be stupid, child.

Girls don't inherit the title.

Bagsy the tower room.

- I'm the eldest. I'm having it.
- I called it.

- When?
- In the hearse.

Right. Well, I called it before you were born,

so kiss my cape.

Please! This is very simple.

Vladimir will have the room.

I'm proud of you. At last, an interest in v*olence and cruelty.

- I'm violent and cruel, Dad. Look.
- Ow!

- You overlooked something important.
- What?

It's Vlad that I'm interested in.

Dad doesn't call my brother The Chosen One for nothing.

Oh.

How do you get on with your father?

- Tell me about your relationship.
- I wouldn't call it a relationship.

I'm a Dracula.

I'm too evil for birthdays.

So you won't want this card from your mother, then.

Dad!

- You garlic-muncher.
- Language, Ingrid.

"Ingrid is a troublemaker

- "who delights in causing disruption to the class."
- Oh, Ingrid.

I'm busy with the future Count Dracula here.

But I'm the eldest. I want to inherit the title.

HE LAUGHS

BATS SQUEAK

Hmm, Countess Dracula.

- Countess Dracula!
- That's a good one.

Presents!

Oh, the un-mortification.

Vladdy!

- I've forgotten your birthday.
- My birthday!

- My th birthday.
- Nonsense!

The bell would be summoning you to your vampire transformation.

BELL TOLLS

I can't hear anything! Can you?

BELL TOLLS

All right! So it's Ingrid's special day!

Here. Have a vintage fang brush.

- What do you mean, we're going home?
- The neighbours are driving us out

with their good turns and nauseating favours.

You realise how popular I am at school?

For the first time in my life I actually exist.

Don't you care about my feelings?

Oh, of course not. Pack your bags, we leave at sunset.

A lot of dads struggle bringing up girls.

Do you think your father found you difficult?

- I need a costume for the school party.
- Why?

What happened to that "dress" thing?

Ruined. It was in Renfield's wardrobe with the stitching burst.

HAMMER DROPS

There's a simple solution to this.

- You'll have to get a job.
- Me? Work?

Get you out of the castle. Someone else's problem.

- Why can't Vlad get a job?
- He has one already.

Heir to my throne.

IT CACKLES

♪ Dem bones, dem bones Them dry bones

♪ Dem bones, dem bones Them dry bones... ♪

CACKLE DIES

Oh, dear.

That's a day's wages you owe me. And you can forget

going to parties until I get it.

The day I was born, it was like a stake through his heart.

It can't have been easy for him.

He must have made lots of sacrifices bringing you up on his own.

He loves sacrifices. Never made any for me, though.

Have you tried to resolve your conflict? By talking to him?

Yeah.

Ungrateful spawn!

I'll banish you to the darkest pits of Hades!

Yeah?

Well, bring it on!

You'll never see the light of day again!

I won't anyway. I'm a vampire now.

Ingrid, remember what happened to the last daughter who challenged me?

I'm your ONLY daughter!

You are now.

Dealing with unreceptive parents can be challenging.

But...

..there must have been some happy times.

WHISTLING

Hi, Ingrid.

Hi, Dad.

You just said hello to me.

Of course, poppet. Why wouldn't I say hello to my favourite daughter?

Right.

What's going on?

Nothing. I just thought I'd bring some sunshine into our lives.

Where's Vlad?

He's in his room watching TV.

- You said we couldn't have TVs.
- I don't remember that.

- I don't remember much at all, for that matter.
- Master?

What next? Sunflower Yellow or Daisy Delight?

Hmm.

Hey, Princess. How's it hanging?

Dad. I want you to look into my eyes. Deep into my eyes.

Ingrid, you really are growing up to be a lovely young lady.

Really?

I've read your school report, and I know you can do a lot better.

I am here for you.

We can sit down and work this thing out.

- You want to spend time with me?
- As long as it takes.

But you never want to spend time with me.

That's all going to change. Come here.

I love you, Ingrid.

I love you too, Dad.

Master, we've out of Ghostly Grey. Will Ghastly Grey do?

It doesn't matter what I think.

Vlad can always hypnotise me to like it.

I said I was sorry.

- It was an accident.
- Well,

it's flying lessons next.

Let's see how you like accidentally flying into a tree.

So unfair! Why can't you teach me flying?

Oh, Ingrid...

Yes, Dad?

Get on with it.

His heart stopped b*ating a long time ago.

Right. Um...

I'd like to open this up a bit.

Can we talk about your mother?

If you want.

She left when you were quite young. Do you resent that?

Not as much as I resent her every time she comes back.

Hello, darlings.

- Oh, Mum, I've missed you. I hate living with Dad.
- Don't cry.

No, really, don't.

It's Versace.

Patrick and I don't need a sickly invalid weighing us down.

- But I'm your daughter.
- I know.

But you can't expect special favours. We're women.

I had to lie, cheat and demean myself to get the Regency,

I would expect you to do the same.

She only turns up when she wants something.

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

This room is off-limits.

I thought there might be some clues down here that'd help find Vlad.

You think the Count and I haven't looked?

Are you sure you've tried everything?

How was it you found him initially?

Telepathy?

- Have you tried connecting with him again?
- Course I have!

He's blocking me.

He may have stopped if he thinks you gave up.

Don't you owe it to him to keep trying?

You are his mentor.

Wouldn't you be better off trying to contact him in his room?

- With all his things around you.
- You might have a point.

After you.

By the way, if I catch you in here again,

you'll be dust.

Understand?

You said you had no friends.

Was that always the way?

Always.

There was one.

Safe, Ingrid.

No-one is "safe".

No-one makes me look...

Makes me look...

Ingrid. Are you all right?

No!

Whoa. What just happened?

Nothing! Nothing happened, all right?

- 'Duh. You're in love with a breather.'
- What?

I am not in love with a breather!

SHE SCREAMS

His name was Will.

There's something you should know about me.

Hmm?

I'm a vampire.

Oh, OK.

No, really, I am a vampire.

I, uh...I believe you.

EVERYONE SCREAMS

- Where are you going?
- As far from you as I can get!

FANGS CRUNCH

He d*ed.

Was it an accident?

BLASTERS FIRE

Ready! Aim!

Fire.

Eat this, slayer!

Will!

He meant a lot to you.

When you were with Will,

tell me how he made you feel.

Will.

Happy birthday.

Oh...

Special.

We were immortal.

Will was...

Your soul mate.

As the new head of the Dracula family...

You'll inherit the castle?

And everything else.

- You are so bad.
- I know.

As close as I can get to one.

This is very good, Ingrid.

You need to use those happy memories of Will

to make yourself feel stronger. And we need to release

all that strength and potential that Will saw in you.

Because those qualities are still there.

You've just allowed them to get buried.

Can you feel them coming back?

I'll decide what I must do.

Because I'm in charge now.

Yes.

Yes, I can.

WHISPERING VOICES

I think that we've made a real breakthrough, don't you?

Yeah.

I'm feeling so much better.

And you have a coping mechanism now.

You must draw on those good memories to make you feel strong.

I want you

to take a long dip

in Lake You.

And I want you to give yourself permission to feel happy.

I want you to tell yourself

that you're a clever girl who can achieve whatever she wants.

Just let go of the negative,

and embrace the positive.

You're so right.

From now on, you will call me

Countess Dracula.

Watch me as I make the streets of Stokely run red with blood.

SHE LAUGHS

It's time I took control,

made things happen.

Well done.

Thank you, Joan.

- Thank you so much.
- It's my pleasure.

There's just one more thing before you go.

There's just some interesting phrases that you used earlier.

"Stake through the heart." "Suck the life out of." "Immortal."

"Heart stopped b*ating."

I wonder whether you just felt so lonely

and alienated

that you constructed a sort of a...

a vampire fantasy for yourself.

I'm looking forward to exploring that next time.

- Next time?
- We need to schedule another appointment.

Honestly, there's really no need. You've been great.

When I'm Queen Of Darkness,

you will be spared.

BELL TOLLS

DOOR OPENS

FOOTSTEPS

What are you up to?

Nothing. I was just looking for clues to help find Vlad.

Oh. Find anything?

No, nothing.

How are you?

I wasn't great but I'm feeling much better now.

Uh...

I don't suppose you could do me a favour

and not tell anyone I was down here.

Of course I won't.

That would be the old negative Ingrid,

and she wasn't working, so I've decided to make some changes.

From now on, I'm going to be a lot stronger.

The world is going to see a whole new me.