04x13 - Kiss of Death

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Young Dracula". Aired September 2006 - March 2014.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise


Britsh children's horror drama that revolves around Vlad and Ingrid, along with their father Count Dracula.
Post Reply

04x13 - Kiss of Death

Post by bunniefuu »

ORGAN PLAYS

HE GRUNTS AND GASPS

Poison... Poison...

Feels good, doesn't it?

Allow me to be the first to bow before the new Count Dracula.

Keep a lookout. The shape-shifter could be anyone.

- Do you think she'll come back?
- No, she's after me. Get his legs.

HE GRUNTS

If I go on there I'm never coming out. Put me down.

Down.

How long have I got?

It's a slow-acting poison.

You've got about six hours, tops.

First you get muscle paralysis, then your hands go black,

then you start hallucinating as the poison kicks in,

and the pain is excruciating as you burn up from the inside

before exploding into a massive fireball.

Forget I said that.

- He's dead, then?
- The poison will keep him alive long enough

- to see his loved ones wiped out.
- Shame, really.

I was starting to like having a brother and sister.

Don't get sentimental.

While Vlad lives, he's a thr*at to your bloodline.

Fair enough. I suppose it's two less birthday cards to write anyway.

Hissssss!

Make that three.

Uh-uh!

She's on our side now.

Hissssss!

She still loves him. It's written all over her fangs.

You're not the only one who can change.

If you want to prove that you love my son,

kiss Vlad.

Let father and son share the same fate.

He'll know it's a trap.

Not if you dump me first.

Careful. The poison's strong. Apply it at the last possible moment.

And don't lick your lips.

Hissssss!

k*lled! With a kiss.

HE LAUGHS

- What a pathetic way to die.
- Shh!

Someone's coming.

FOOTSTEPS

KNOCKING

Who... Who is it?

Ingrid. Dad, are you OK? Can I come in?

Since when did Ingrid ever ask if you were OK?

- Shape-shifter!
- Run! It's your only chance!

What are you doing in there?

Enter.

You idiot. You should have known the real McCauley would never kiss you.

You're a disgusting, pale, skinny antique.

Yep, that's Ingrid.

Your track record of picking girlfriends is appalling.

What can I say? Love is blind.

Which reminds me, after you hallucinate,

but before you explode, you go blind.

Forget I said that.

Vladdy, I need to see Miss McCauley one last time.

Bring her to me.

- We need an antidote.
- It's impossible!

One antidote coming right up.

Bring Miss McCauley, the real one.

Watch your backs. Be vigilant, Ingrid.

- HE MUTTERS
- Come on, Dad.

Thank you, thank you. Thank...you!

HE GROANS

Here we go.

No, no, no! No!

It can't be!

Ivan?

But you're dead!

(ECHOING VOICE) You don't k*ll me that easily.

I will always be alive in here.

Watching you live the life that should have been mine.

- It was an accident!
- You know the rules.

You take my title, you take my wife.

Now it's my turn... to watch you die.

HE CHUCKLES EVILLY

Do you see him?!

Do you see my brother?

- Dad...
- What?

There's no-one there.

BELL RINGS

Ah, Cody. Off you go, Sally, this doesn't concern you.

If you're going to graffiti "McCauley is a moron" in the loos,

best not to post a photo online saying, "Look what I just done."

- It's "did", not "done".
- Yes, miss.
- Detention for a week.

Yes, miss.

SHE SNIFFS

Do you smell garlic?

No.

- Dad's not well. He wants to see you.
- Nothing serious, I hope.

It's better if he tells you himself.

No running, Eve.

- GIRL SCREAMS
- Abby, let go of her hair this instant!

Girls!

Girls! This is totally unacceptable.

Relax, Ingrid.

I have no reason to harm you.

I only want to harm the people the Count loves.

Think what you could do with this power.

I'll teach you.

When do we begin?

After you've bitten that little blood blister of a teacher.

Hissssss...

He's hallucinating. We don't have much time. Will this antidote work?

- Yes, master.
- Well, hurry up.

Yes, master.

You should kiss your mother goodbye. She won't be around for much longer.

Get out now while you still can.

And take Erin with you.

- I thought she was with you.
- I don't need your cast-offs.

Now I'm Count Dracula, I can take my pick.

Hisses!

You and Malik going somewhere nice?

I hear Paris is very romantic this time of the year.

SHE CHUCKLES Don't push it. Still haven't packed these yet.

- HE GASPS
- For what it's worth,

I thought you and Malik were perfect for each other.

What happened? Did his mother not approve?

Do you know what I liked about Malik?

When he saw something he wanted, he just took it.

Poison lipstick. You're Elizabeta.

No, it's really me.

You should have let me die when you had the chance.

This will be my finest scientific discovery.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, they'll build a statue to me.

They'll put my face on banknotes.

Yeah! They'll rename the Nobel Peace Prize the Renfield Award!

HE LAUGHS

Will this work? You betcha!

BOOM!

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

It looked like Abby was trying to bite the other girl.

It was barbaric, actually.

- I mean, that's not normal, is it?
- Can't imagine who'd do such a thing.

- Vlad, how's your dad?
- Er, man flu, you know.

Protect McCauley. And be careful.

No, Miss McCauley, the other door.

Master Vlad! I think I've cracked it.

But I need your help. It's at a very delicate stage.

Oh, you're a genius.

HE CHUCKLES

Mr Count?

You don't look very well.

- Let me call a doctor.
- I don't need your help and you're fired.

- What?
- You're a useless headmistress.

I am not!

- Look at the Ofsted Report.
- Right...

Then I'm f*ring you for wearing too much blue.

I want you off the premises in five minutes.

- I love this job.
- Well, the job doesn't love you! Now get out!

You really have a great way of talking to women.

I'll go check on her.

Ingrid... Ingrid...

What?

I have something for you.

It's at that tricky stage of distillation

- where four hands are better than two.
- How much longer?

- How about
- six
- hands?

That's not me! That's Elizabeta!

She's behind you.

- Yes, thank you. I worked that out.
- Yes, master.

From the slimy, hairy caterpillar

to the beautiful butterfly.

- Slimy?!
- Finish the antidote. Go.

SHE LAUGHS

You are SO like your father.

Easily tricked.

EERIE HIGH PITCHED SCREECHING

SCREECHING STOPS

JAW CLICKS

HE GRUNTS

Hm...

CLATTERING

I want you to have this.

You were five when you drew that.

Said you couldn't wait to have your own coffin,

just like me... Come, come.

Look.

You drew your fangs bigger than mine.

SHE CHUCKLES

You always were more ambitious than Vlad.

I thought you only kept Vlad's drawings.

You said you threw all mine away.

I've never said this before...

but I do love you, Ingrid.

You don't mean that.

It's just the poison pickling your brain.

I mean it...

with all...

my dying heart.

HE GROANS

It's all right, it's all right.

It's all right...

THUNDERCLAP

I thought it would be a fitting place for you to die.

This is as close to the throne as you will ever get.

My son will rule for a thousand years with you at his side,

backing every decision.

I'll be a better Vlad than you ever were.

Let me put you out of your misery.

Your loved ones won't miss you. They despise you.

Please don't bite me, Vlad.

If you loved me, you'd let me die.

You pathetic imbecile.

The Slayers were defeated.

The glorious Vampire Revolution was about to begin.

You...betrayed us.

You could have been magnificent.

A true Dracula.

A brother to be proud of.

I thought you were our future.

But you were my executioner.

"And all our yesterdays lighted fools the way to their dusty death.

"Out, out,

"brief candle!"

SHE SCREECHES

SHE ROARS

I thought you were smarter than that.

FLAME ROARS

SHE BELCHES

You're a lot heavier than you look!

- Stop, stop! I need to stop.
- We can't She'll k*ll us.

Come on!

BONES CLICK

Let's go!

HIDEOUS SCREECHING

SCREECHING CONTINUES

SILENCE

Sorry it wasn't much of a rescue.

SHE SCREECHES

Find them!

Aaaaagh!

SIZZLING

Master! Master! I've got the antidote!

No, no...

There's two of you!

No, it's just me.

HE CHUCKLES EVILLY

The antidote!


Aaagh!

And if I love her,

you should love her too.

Aaagh! No! Stop! They're fakes!

Master! Master!

Master!

Don't move. I'll make some more antidote.

I k*lled my brother.

It was my duty...duty...to marry Elizabeta.

I can see why you didn't. She's not exactly a barrel of laughs.

I will not let my children

pay for my mistakes.

Well, that was fun.

Quick.

HIDEOUS SCREECHING

Let's split up and spread out.

Hisssss...

Mother, we've looked everywhere.

They went out into the sunlight. They're probably toast.

Hisssss!

Nothing is that easy.

We keep out of their way till sunset and then we're out of here.

- I'm not running away.
- We stay here, it only ends one way.

By snatching victory from the jaws of defeat.

How does she do that...?

You'll never hit her with anything. She shape-shifts too fast.

Everyone has a weak spot. Hers is Malik.

She'd do anything for her precious little boy.

It's time to get the worm on the hook.

BELL RINGS

- OVERLAPPING ECHOING VOICE:
- Malik...

Show yourselves!

Malik...

Malik...

Malik! Malik!

- Malik!
- It's time to call Mummy.

I'm going to enjoy watching you two suffer!

Argentilium. You can't escape.

HE GROANS

Not yet... Please!

Please! Not yet.

Wondering if that's me?

HE GRUNTS

- Well, he's
- really
- fallen for you this time!

Who are you?

The last person you're going to see alive.

MISS MCCAULEY SCREAMS

Aaagh!

I wanted you to love me like you love this woman.

I wanted you so badly,

I k*lled my own husband.

But I... I thought...

He d*ed falling off a roof?

No. I ended our marriage. Until death do us part?

All this time you let me think I k*lled my own brother.

But then, I find revenge really takes the edge off the pain.

HE GRUNTS

SHE SCREAMS

(ECHOING) Mother! Mother! Help me! ..Help me...

Malik.

Listen... Listen... Miss McCauley...

Miss McCauley!

- You're vampires!
- Yes, but...

..I would never, ever, ever hurt you.

I wouldn't...

Let him go.

WEIRD THRUMMING

Pull him closer to the mirror!

Feel the pull, Malik!

- Let me give you a hand.
- Help me, Mother!

Grab me! Come on! Come on!

Come on!

Pull him back!

- Not much further!
- Get them off me!

Open the vortex!

Now!

It's over.

The Dracula throne is ours.

It's your throne, Malik.

Why don't you sit on it?

RESONANT SCREECHING

expl*si*n

I control this side of the Blood Mirror.

Your handcuffs are gone, and you can't shape-shift.

Hisssss....

SHE SCREAMS Mother!

- ELIZABETA, DISTORTED:
- Let me out!

Let me out!

SHE SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY

Aaaaaaghhh...!

Mother?

If I see you again, I will dust you.

Brother or not.

Time to go.

You fired me to protect me.

I told you to leave...

I could never leave you.

I don't care that you're a vampire.

I love you, Mr Count.

Make way!

Antidote coming through! Master! Master!

- I'm here! We need to get him up on the table. Master!
- Right.

Gently!

Gently!

HE COUGHS

HE LAUGHS

Aggghhh!

Ohhh...!

You idiot! You k*lled him!

Use your fangs to suck out the poison.

But it will k*ll whoever does it.

No!

HE GASPS

Aaagh!

Aaagh!

HE CHOKES AND GASPS

Ahhh!

Master! You're alive!

But I've got some bad news about Master Vlad.

Come on, Vlad, you're the Chosen One. You can b*at this.

Push the poison from your system.

Come on, Vlad.

Vladdy, Vladdy, what have you done?!

Look, I promise

I will never disinherit you again.

- Try harder, Vlad!
- Vladdy!
- Push the poison, Vlad.

HE GASPS WITH EFFORT

CLATTERING

Priceless heirlooms, all gone.

I wish you'd let me reverse the Mind Wipe on Miss McCauley.

You two should be together.

She can't handle life with a vampire.

And anyway, I don't want to bite her.

- I love her just the way she is.
- Aren't you the perfect gentleman?

By the way, how many more ex- girlfriends are coming to k*ll us?

Who knows? One doesn't like to brag.

Well, Erin and Malik have been spotted in Paris.

Bit some tourists on the Eifel Tower.

- Sounds painful!
- Admit it, you miss her.

I hope she chokes on a garlic snail.

You need to get out and bite yourself someone new.

I'm not biting anyone.

Not peaceful coexistence again. Vlad, it failed.

We're vampires - we bite, we fight, we...

burn in sunlight.

Boring!

Then we try it again.

And this time we do it right.

It'll always end in blood.

- It's our way of life.
- Then it's time to evolve.

(MR COUNT) Renfield, come on, Snotweasel! And where's my cape?
Post Reply