13x01 - Subject 17

[bunniefuu]

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[PHONE VIBRATES]

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[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

This better be good, G.

You don't have coffee?

Do you want coffee?

No. I'm going back to bed soon.
What's going on?

I found these in that cabinet.

What's that mean? What cabinet?
What are you talking about?

You remember a while back,
I asked you what Hetty kept

in that locked cabinet
in the archive room

where the old files are?

No.

You made the comment
that they were lined with lead

and you couldn't see in
with your X-ray vision?

Nope. But that's funny.

Tell me you didn't
break into that cabinet.

Well, technically,
I didn't break anything.

Well, that's one way to end your career.

I shut off the security cameras.

Oh, this just keeps getting better.

Look. You need to take a look at this.

So I can end my career with you?
That's a hard pass.

You just made me an accessory

by showing me this stuff.
Just put it back. We'll pretend

- it was all a bad dream, all right?
- Hold on.

Not until you look at this.

I'm not going anywhere near that stuff.

Seriously, you should try
sleeping at night.

You know, after 48 hours,

you start hallucinating. After 96,

you're talking
sleep deprivation psychosis.

Okay, well, I'm not hallucinating,
and I'm not psychotic.

These are files on foster children

going back decades, some
as young as the age of six.

So?

So, you don't find that strange?

Stranger than you waking me up in the middle of the night to inform me that you violated God knows how many rules, not to mention codes of conduct?

Subject 17.

Male. Caucasian.

Date of birth, August 8, 1976.

That's my birthday.

These kids were put through all sorts of cognitive tests.

We call that school.

This wasn't school.

They were psychologically profiling and screening these kids.

For what?

I don't know exactly.

But it reads like a junior version of the same sort of selection process they put me through at the CIA.

Oh.

There you are, Hetty.

Agent Blye.

You going somewhere?

Well, a short business trip.

What kind of a short business trip

requires a suitcase
full of secret weapons?

Sorry. I don't want

to interrupt your packing
or anything, which...

clearly, I've already done.

Uh... [CLEARS THROAT]

Can I ask you for something

- kind of personal?
- Always.

Okay.

Uh, as you may or may not know,

Deeks and I have been trying
to get pregnant.

Like, really trying.

I mean, we've been to fertility doctors

and alternative medicine,
and, hell, we've even resorted

to a Magic Ball.

Um...

It's just come to that time where
now we're considering adoption,

and I... we. [CHUCKLES]
We were wondering

if we could use you
as a person of reference.

Oh. Um, no.

Oh.

Oh, no, no, no.

I'm, um,

I'm honored.

Truly, I am.

But I'm not, uh,
the right person for that.

What do you mean? I mean, you're...

You're one of the most respected people

in the intelligence community.

Yes, which is vastly different
from the parenting community.

Besides, a reference

from the director or SECNAV

would be vastly more impressive,

and I think

I could make that happen for you.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

That... Wow. [CHUCKLES]

That would be great. Thank you.

I'll let you get back
to your packing. I...

Thank you again.

[EXHALES]

You never read anything so slow
in your life.

[SCOFFS]

You know how sometimes
it's really hard for you to tell

you're starting to annoy me?

This is one of those times.

Remember the Russian dolphin case?

[CHUCKLES] As opposed to all
our other dolphin cases? I mean,

that Norwegian dolphin case was a doozy.

I sent you and Rountree to the Marine
Institute. Do you know why?

You have an unnatural aversion
to sea life?

It was because of something
Kilbride said to me.

[IMITATING KILBRIDE]: "Stay away
from the sea urchins."

I'm being serious.

You're being weird.

He said that I had
a biased opinion towards Hetty

because she hired you,

but she created me.

He said

"created."

You don't think
that's an odd choice of words?

You've known her
since you were a teenager.

He was probably referencing

her influence on your life choices.

Well, according to this file,
I may have known her

since I was, like, eight.

You remember her as a kid?

No.

Then this is probably not you.

It's a bunch of underprivileged kids

who were given an opportunity

to live life to their full potential.

Please. Nobody helps the underprivileged

unless they have an ulterior motive.

G, look.

[SCOFFS] I know conspiracy theories

have replaced common sense

with a large portion of the population,

- but you're smarter than that.
- This is not...

Let me finish.

You've had a rough couple of years.

More than anyone could
or should have to handle.

Your father. Your sister. Your nephew.

Joelle. Anna.

Not to mention
the COVID year we just had.

You need to get away from all of this.

You need to go some place quiet.
You need to unplug

and detox from all of it.

Trust me.

You made me do the same thing
after Michelle was k*lled.

Now it's your turn.

Deep down, you know I'm right.

Probably. But...

I mean, come on.

You got to admit this is sketchy.

I don't know what "this" is.

It's probably best we both don't.

Yeah, because you're not Subject 17.

[CHUCKLES]

Look, fine. I...

Maybe I am obsessed, okay?

Maybe I'm messed-up. But my whole life,

I have been searching
to figure out who I am.

And just when I thought I knew,

- this comes up.
- Mm.

Remember Pandora's box?

Want my advice?

Walk away from this.

Go on with your life as it is now.

It's good. Enjoy that.

Because if you go
down this rabbit hole, G,

you might not like what you find.

You might even get lost.

You know the CIA's motto?

"The Work of a Nation.
Center for Intelligence."

- That's the official motto.
- Yeah.

The unofficial motto.

John : .

"Ye shall know the truth,

and the truth shall set you free."

That's all I've ever wanted, Sam.

We all deserve to know the truth.

What are you guys doing here?

- Working on something.
- Oh.

- Everything's still off.
- What are you doing here?

[SIGHS] I came to see if
there was a tripped breaker

or something. But we got a case.

What's the case?

FATIMA: A passerby
sh*t this cell phone video

of two women
having an altercation outside

of a Trader Joe's in Marina del Rey.

This is what happens when they
run out of Mandarin chicken.

[CHUCKLES]: No, I'm serious.
I had a woman hit me

with a bottle of Two Buck Chuck once

'cause I reached for the last bag.

[WOMEN GRUNTING]

When did soccer moms get so vicious?

Why are we watching this, Fatima?

Wait for it.

ROUNTREE: Oh.

That's that Russian SVR agent.

Zasha Gagarin.

Looks like Russia recalled your asset.

I wouldn't say she's that lucky.

ROUNTREE: And that's the woman

who was kidnapped with the b*mb vest.

Joelle Taylor.

Kensi and Deeks
are on their way to the scene.

SAM: They won't find anything.

Joelle would have seen to that.
Only thing

she can't control is
an eyewitness with a cell phone.

That's pretty brave,
trying to pull this off

- in broad daylight.
- She's desperate.

For what?

Revenge.

KILBRIDE: You will never believe

what just came across my desk.

Well, if it was a large cockroach

with only one antenna,

his name is Sheldon,

and he's become
sort of an office mascot.

Oh.

I put him through my shredder last week.

Well, nobody told me he had a name.

No, these were travel orders.

You think you're going back?

- Well, I think I have to.
- Well,

I think somebody has to,

but I'm not so sure it should be you.

You made a bloody mess of things

- over there the last time.
- Hmm.

Now, I will sign the order,

but if you make it worse,
you will be sacrificed

for the sake of diplomacy, and if you do

something really stupid
and find yourself

in a cage again,

you will be disavowed.

Well, that's-that's really...

terribly encouraging.

DEEKS: We don't really
expect to find anything

- here, do we?
- Well, if we find Zasha's car,

we know where Zasha's been.

And Joelle must have been watching her,

so that means we find out
where Joelle's been, as well.

So if we find where
Joelle's been, then...

Then we have enough clues to
figure out where she is now

- and where she took Zasha.
- They grow up so fast.

It's a fantastic theory, Sherlie-locks,

except for the fact that Joelle
is a high-level operator,

which means she's probably
already had Zasha's car towed

as her own, right?
Stashed or ditched some place.

Along with the van that she was driving.

And even if we find said vehicles,

both of them will be
wiped down or contaminated

to the point where they're
forensically useless.

Right. Sunshine and gunpowder,

meet storm cloud and quicksand.

Oh, I like that. Quicksand's cool.

Quicksand is...? Right,

- until it sucks you under.
- [PHONE VIBRATING]

What are you talking about?
That's the part

that makes it cool.
Otherwise, it's just a beach.

Oh, my gosh. Hey, Fatima. What's up?

Wait for it. Wait for it.

- Really?
- Yep.

Okay. Thanks.

So, security cam footage shows

that Zasha's car was towed.

Boom! Quicksand for the win.

All right. Let's go, Sandy.

What's going on? Why are you so sad?

You really didn't expect
to find anything here, did you?

No, that's not it at all.

Though that would have been
helpful. It's, uh...

[SIGHS] My conversation with Hetty today

just really threw me off
when she refused

to be a person of reference for us.

Well, hold on a second.
I don't think she refused that.

I think that she was just
offering up a better suggestion.

[LAUGHS] SECNAV?

- Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
- It might not,

but the director could
and probably will.

I mean, I think Hetty's
just trying to be helpful.

No, I just don't think
that's what it was.

- She would do anything for us, right?
- Right.

I think she genuinely believed

she'd be detrimental to
our adoption process.

Why? What is that about?

Well, she did go through

that awkward adolescent cannibal phase.

Come on, sweetie. I'm being serious.

What is more serious
than people eating other people?

- It's one of the seven deadly sins.
- No. It is not.

- Cannibalism is not a deadly sin?
- Why do I bother?

What about when you-you turn
without using your turn signal?

- [SCOFFS]
- Or you cut people off on the freeway?

That's got to be
a deadly sin. Hey, Siri?

Tell me the seven deadly sins.

- I can't with you.
- All seven of them!

SAM: You think Joelle would hurt Zasha?

I think Joelle would do anything
to get to Katya.

She lost

her family and her leg because of her.

Neither of which have
anything to do with Zasha.

Joelle knows that, but I think
she's probably hoping

she can force Zasha
to use her SVR connections

- to locate Katya.
- And if she can't?

Then again, Zasha may
know how to find her.

Katya's own country wants
her out of the picture

before she creates even more
problems for the Kremlin.

They must be actively hunting her.

This could actually be
a good thing, though.

No one's gonna be upset
if Joelle takes out Katya.

No longer be a thr*at for you and Anna.

You still with me on this one?

Katya went to the same sort
of spy school as Anna.

Yeah, the royal princess place
that Arkady told us about.

The Institute of Noble Maidens.

He said they trained
those little girls since

they were children so that by
the time they were in their 20s,

they had almost ten years
of tradecraft.

Yeah, nothing's changed.
They-they do the same thing

with athletes, uh,
musicians, ballerinas.

Yeah, but he said that I should
know this more than anyone.

And I-I thought he just meant

because Anna had told me about her past,

but he meant because of Hetty.

He said Hetty did the same thing
with her orphans.

You heard him say that, right?

Right?

I just thought he was,
you know, being Arkady.

Plus, you told him
Hetty never trained you.

She just helped you out
when you were a teenager, right?

I don't know. I...

Reading these files triggered
something I'd forgotten

from when I was really young.

Tests I had taken. I...

They told me I had dyslexia,

and I had to do
these remedial exercises.

But the more I think about it...

...the more I remember.

KENSI: Okay, thanks.

- [PHONE HANGS UP]
- So,

no luck on the towing
company, which is weird.

It could have been bogus.

I mean, Joelle would have
provided it herself.

She'd still need somebody to operate it.

Somebody she could trust.

I'm gonna have Fatima run down
any past known accomplices.

Where's Hetty?

Uh, last time I saw her,
she was in the armory

- packing.
- Packing?

Yeah, said she had

a business trip. If you ask me,
it was more of a "dark"

bus...

Everything okay?

With me? Yes.

Him, I don't know.

Why? What's going on?

If I had to take a guess,

Hetty hasn't told him everything
she knows about his past,

and some of it could be
a little disturbing.

[g*n f*ring]

[SHELL CASINGS CLATTER]

What, are you planning a coup
I should know about?

Variety is the spice of life,

- Agent Callen.
- Uh-huh. Where's Hetty?

No idea.

[MACHINE WHIRRING]

You know what these are?

Who am I, Carnac the Magnificent?

They're files on kids that were given

a bunch of tests
that sound a hell of a lot

like intelligence screening programs.

Nobody likes a dumb kid.

You once told me that, uh,
Hetty had created me.

Is this what you were talking about?

- Where did you get those?
- That's not important.

Many would beg to differ.

Did Hetty run a program

that recruited children
as future operatives?

Now, that definitely sounds
like a question for your mentor.

Answer the question.

Did you hit your head or something?

You don't give orders, Agent Callen.

You follow them. And if you speak to me

in that imperative again,

it will be the last thing
you utter in this building

and, quite possibly, on this planet!

Where's Hetty going?

Afraid you'll have to ask her that, too.

Because you don't know
or you won't tell me?

Because it's classified.

- Uh-huh.
- Now, if she wants

to inform you, that's up to her.

My guess is she won't
for any number of reasons,

none of them very good.

But you do know where she's going.

[SIGHS]

Probably a very dark
hole in a foreign prison

unless some despot
decides to keep her as a pet.

Your, uh, ex, Joelle Taylor,

might just find herself in
the same kind of trouble.

Why is that?

Well, there is that business
of assaulting and kidnapping

a foreign national in broad daylight.

The Russians are already
raging about that.

So, in addition to her former agency,

she also has the
Russians hunting for her

as well as any freelancers

that they might be employing over here.

She better hope that our people
get to her first.

- They won't.
- And you know this because?

I know Joelle.

There's no way she would grab Zasha

in broad daylight
unless she had an airtight plan.

She probably wanted to be seen doing it.

Why?

I think it's Joelle's way

of telling Katya
that she's coming for her.

So, then, Zasha is in no real danger?

Mm. I didn't say that.

If Joelle thinks
that Zasha has information

that could help her locate Katya,

she will do whatever it takes
to get it out of her.

Is there some Women-Who-k*ll
dating site out there

that I don't know about,

or do you just have the world's
worst luck with the ladies?

All right. If we can't find
her, then what's our plan?

We're gonna make her come to us.

And how are we gonna do that?

Can you post something on someone else's

- social media account?
- By "post,"

you mean hack
into their social media account

and make it look like they posted it?

- Exactly.
- Technically, yeah, I think so.

[INHALES SHARPLY]
Legally and ethically...

I need to get a message to Joelle.

Her family thinks she's dead, but I know

she keeps track of them on social media.

Hell, for all I know, she's probably

already hacked
into their accounts herself.

Mm.

What do you want to say?

- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
- [GASPS]

You're gonna stay with me here.

You go to sleep,
I promise you won't wake up.

I don't know where Katya is.

Last we heard, she was back in Russia.

If I knew where she was,

we would have grabbed her by now.

Yeah, I'm not buying that.

[PHONE VIBRATES]

CALLEN: I need Zasha
brought to the boatshed.

You have one hour, or I'm going
to speak with your family.

[FLAMES WHOOSH]

[EXHALES] Aah.

CALLEN: Huh.

I can only imagine what kind
of evidence you're destroying.

Here. You might want to add this to it.

It's okay. I made a copy.

Do you care to explain?

Do you?

Am I Subject 17?

Oh, you shouldn't have done this.

I shouldn't have done this?

[CHUCKLES] You shouldn't
have done any of this.

Am I Subject 17?

Tell me the truth.

The truth is...

The truth is a fickle thing.

Answer the question, Hetty.

Ask me no questions,

- and I'll tell you no lies.
- Stop it.

Just stop it. Answer me.

I don't answer to you, Mr. Callen.

Am I Subject 17? Yes or no?

This conversation is over.

The one about how you got that file...

Am I Subject 17?!

Do not use that tone with me.

Am I Subject 17?!

Yes!

Yes.

Sorry to interrupt.

Joelle got your message.
She's headed to the boatshed.

I'll be there in a second.

This is far from over.

[DOOR OPENS]

Hmm. Cut that close.

Where's the rest of your misfit friends?

It's just us.

- Where's Zasha?
- She's safe.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

I told you...

I don't give a damn what you told me.

I don't work for you.

Well, you don't work
for anybody at the moment.

That's right.

You know what they say.
This time, it's personal.

And that's when you make mistakes.

You let the emotions in,
and you're done.

What do you want?

I want you to let Zasha go

before this whole thing
gets out of hand.

Gets out of hand?

One of her colleagues tried to k*ll me,

and it cost me my leg.

None of which had anything to do
with Zasha.

You don't know that.

Not with any certainty.

Yes, I do.

Look, nobody wants Katya more than I do.

- [DOOR OPENS]
- Don't be so arrogant.

She disabled the GPS.

Nice.

I suppose my car has a
tracker or two now, as well?

Tell us where Zasha is.

Stay out of this. This isn't your fight.

You made it our fight

when you grabbed Zasha Gagarin.

And why is that? What is she to you?

She works for us.

[CHUCKLING]

Oh, she's your little Russian informant.

How precious.

You are such a hypocrite.

You don't give a damn
about her. You just want

her intel. You know, at least
I'm honest about my intentions.

She's been in limbo.

Possibly because her people found out.

They've been watching her.
They probably saw you grab her.

Hell, they probably followed you here.

Yeah, nobody tailed me.

You only have one play here.

Make it fast.

Or what?

We arrest you.

You have no jurisdiction over me.

We're federal agents.

You kidnapped and assaulted
a foreign national.

Keep it up, we'll hand you over
to the Russians.

You arrest me,
and you'll never find her.

She'll be dead from dehydration
within a week.

You tell us where Zasha is right now,

or I will bring proof to your family

that you're still alive.

And all the love they have for you

will turn into white-hot hatred
for the rest of their lives.

Or maybe they'll understand

that it was the only way
I could protect them.

That's a big maybe.

Give me an hour to get her.

[CALLEN SCOFFS]

Not a chance we're letting you
out of our sight.

Okay, fine. Then you drive.

Don't do something else you'll regret.

Can still see your son grow up.

You're not gonna be able
to do that from prison.

Yeah, grow up without me.

That was your decision.

- Was it?
- All right, look,

we can help you get Katya.

Okay? But we have to work
together, and you've got

to let Zasha go before
this thing can't be undone.

Guys, you've got company.

- [GRUNTS]
- How many?

Six.

Six. You weren't tailed?

You had a whole parade
following you. Nicely done.

FATIMA: All right,
they're surrounding the place.

Kensi and Deeks
are about ten minutes out.

All right, you two get over there.

I'll ready a REACT team and alert LAPD

to secure the perimeter.

Hopefully, these jokers

will stand down once they realize

they're walking into a hornet's nest

- of federal agents.
- Now, I have a better idea.

I don't recall asking for suggestions.

Sam and I will take Joelle
to secure Zasha.

Assuming she hasn't been already taken.

How are we gonna get out of here
if we're surrounded?

I hope that mascara's waterproof.

Move. Move, move.

You got to be kidding me.

I'd rather face the Russians

- than get typhoid from...
- [WATER SPLASHES]

You're welcome.

[ENGINE REVS]

CALLEN: Hey.

We're out of the boathouse.
Redirect everyone to...

Where we going? Where we going?!

South Larson.

South Larson.
Let LAPD round up the Russians.

They're not going anywhere
without an Uber.

Hey, hey! Not in the Hellcat.

You're the one who pushed me
into the water.

That's because you led those guys to us.

[SIGHS] You know, I'm not even supposed
to get my prosthetic wet.

If I have to get this thing
repaired or replaced,

I'm sending NCIS the bill.

The hell you are. You're paying
for this car to get detailed.

- Oh, dream on.
- [SCOFFS SOFTLY]

CALLEN: Either of those cars yours?

No.

Wonderful.

Tell the others to go on earwigs.
Somebody b*at us here.

Are you guys gonna give me a w*apon?

No. You're gonna stay here,
outside the car.

You need all the help you can get.

The day I need your help
is the day I quit.

Then I guess you should have
quit a couple years ago.

Enough. Backup's coming.

JOELLE: Too late. Her people got her.

Federal agents!

Let the woman go!

I don't think they care.

Can I have a g*n now?

- No!
- No!

We got to take out their cars. Cover me.

They went back in the building.

At least four armed men,
possibly more inside.

They're using Zasha as a human shield.

Yeah, where'd they find these guys,

- Craigslist?
- I'll go around the side

in case they try and sneak out the back.

I'm just supposed to wait here?

You're welcome to leave.

You know, you can be a real ass.

You're still welcome to leave.

Federal agent! Throw down your w*apon!

SAM: G, you good?

I just drove him back inside.

I don't think it's gonna last, though.

Just give me a g*n. Let me get in there.

This is my mess. Let me fix it.

We are fixing it. This is
what fixing it looks like.

Where's everybody else? Who's close?

KENSI: Four minutes out,
guys. Sit tight.

FATIMA: We're even closer. Almost there.

I'll send Rountree in as
soon as they get here.

- CALLEN: Copy that.
- Hey! Hey! Hey, hey!

CALLEN: What? What's happened?

Joelle just ran inside.

Son of a bitch.

I should have drowned her
when I had the chance.

We got a plan?

Well, I tried waiting them out,
but I got a feeling they're not

gonna be in there
any longer than they have to.

You weren't going to this party
without me, were you?

Wouldn't dream of it. With
Joelle going in there,

we may be up to two hostages.

If I was them, I'd try to split up

and escape in different directions.
Divide our resources.

The building schematics have
just been sent to your phones.

I shouldn't need to remind you,

- but I probably do.
- [PHONE VIBRATES]

These are foreign operatives

ostensibly rescuing one of their own

from a rogue CIA officer.

They were using Zasha as a human shield.

You have body cam footage of this,

- Agent Callen? I didn't think so.
- We can s...

Now, this is already

an international incident.

You start racking up bodies,
it's just gonna get worse.

At the moment, this is a CIA problem.

I do not need

NCIS dragged into it, as well.

News flash, Admiral.
We're already in it.

Nonlethal,

ladies and gentlemen.

Is he kidding?

No, Agent Blye.

I am dead serious, no pun intended.

Now, this shouldn't be a problem
for your team

if you're all as good

as you seem to think you are.

Can I get an amen?

- Copy that, sir.
- CALLEN: They may be willing to free

Zasha and leave Joelle if
we offer them safe passage,

but I'm not betting on anything.

Deeks and I will take the high ground.

Rountree will stay and cover this side.

Okay, Kensi and I will breach
and make them an offer.

Fatima will cover our entry.

I like this plan.
It just feels like a winner.

We're federal agents!

There's no way

you're getting out of here
unless we let you!

We can do that if you send Zasha out!

You can leave without her!

Zasha, do you hear us?

Joelle?

Joelle, go back to the car

before you make things worse!

All right, this is
the real deal, gentlemen.

But it's a limited time offer!

Leave while you still can!

You try anything stupid,

you're going to prison instead.

[JOELLE GASPS, CHOKING]

I hope these guys speak English.

Callen, you see anything?

CALLEN: I can't see
anything through this glass.

What are the chances
of us getting satellite images

of their heat signatures?

About the same
as my getting a permanent.

Maybe I should just send in

a couple of robots with jetpacks
to do this for you.

Hell, in Vietnam, we were lucky if they

gave us maps, and we were in the jungle,

not Boyle Heights.

Yeah. Maybe that's why we
did so well over there.

Stow that crap, Hanna,
or your next assignment

will be in Djibouti.

That's the type of Djibouti
call you don't want to get.

SAM: Our boys

are in a tight
using the women as cover.

We don't have a sh*t.

Okay, well, this is like
looking through egg drop soup.

- We can't see a thing.
- CALLEN: I say

we hit them all at once.

Try and catch them in the confusion.

Shock and awe is my specialty.

God, I wish.

CALLEN: Let me know
when everyone's in position.

I'm good.

CALLEN: Fatima?

Fatima?

I'll just be one second.

God, the kids are so cute
at this age, are they not?

Agent Namazi?

FATIMA: Almost there.

[EXHALES]

[ENGINE REVVING]

We got to go now.

Move!

[ENGINE REVVING]

Go. [SHOUTS]

SAM: Federal agents! Stay down!

- Don't you move!
- Hands behind your head.

Interlock your fingers.

- Now.
- ROUNTREE: Yo,

- you good?
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Fine.

What in God's green heaven
is going on there?

All good. No casualties.

Did you blow something up?

Just a little broken glass.

Looks like you're gonna
need more than a detail.

What the hell was that?

Callen said shock and awe.
That was shock.

KENSI: Looks like you got the awe.

Except for you, it was more like, "Aw."

[CHUCKLES]

- You okay?
- Yeah.

Joelle, stop!

Stop!

I got her.

DEEKS: Oh! Oh, wow.

- Ooh.
- DEEKS: That looks like

it hurts more than getting sh*t.

FATIMA: I'm gonna be honest with you.

This thing is way faster
than I thought it would be.

I mean, it's a monster.

- [CHUCKLES]
- [IMITATES ENGINE]

- That was hilarious.
- [MOCKINGLY]: Oh, it was hilarious?

Wreck my car, it's hilarious?

- [CHUCKLES MOCKINGLY] It's hilarious.
- Sorry, Sam.

SAM: I'll show you hilarious.

It's not funny.

I mean, it's a little hilar...

Not funny. Mm-mm.

- Thanks.
- Sure.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER RADIO]

[SIGHS] So, now what? You arresting me?

What you did today was unacceptable.

What they did to me was unacceptable.

And what you did to Zasha was...?

[SIGHS]

Look, we have a mutual interest
in finding Katya.

But if you cross the line again,

I will put you away for good.

JOELLE: Callen?

Would you really have told
my family I was still alive?

What do you think?

I think if you ever go near my family

with that intention,

I'll k*ll you.

It's good to see you again, too, Joelle.

[EXHALES]

My tummy is growling
like Winnie-the-Pooh.

I want paneer. You want to stop

at Frankie's on the way home?

I'm still thinking about my conversation

- with Hetty today.
- And?

[SIGHS]

Wow. You want to talk about it?

[GRUNTS]

[EXHALES]

Adoption is amazing.

- Mm-hmm.
- You know?

And the idea of...

giving a child a safe home
and a loving family

is such a privilege.

And I'd probably want
to do that regardless.

But?

I just really wanted us
to have a baby together.

Yeah, me, too.

Little genetic ninja assassins.

[CHUCKLES]

But...

then I think about all the
things that had to happen

to get us where we are right now.

Right? I think about
your mom and her life.

I think about your dad and his.

I think about Mama Deeks.

I think about my despicable father

and their parents and
their parents before them,

and I realize, like, all these things

brought us to where we are
right now in the process,

and so maybe all we have to do
is just trust the universe.

Right?

What if the universe
doesn't want us to have a baby?

Well, then forget everything I said,

- and the universe can bite me.
- [LAUGHING]

We'll just do what rich people do,

- and we'll just steal our babies.
- You can't say that.

We'll just travel all over the globe

and get a bunch of different babies,

all different ethnicities.

And Angelina Jolie will be jealous

'cause we have a whole soccer
team. It's gonna be great.

We live in a two-bedroom
house. It's gonna be fine.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Oh, you always know what to say

to cheer me up. [CHUCKLES]

- Well, that may be my superpower.
- Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Making you laugh,
that may be my gift.

Okay, well, what's the
refund policy on that gift?

- Oh, that's store credit only.
- Ugh.

No cashing out at this point, baby girl.

Lucky, lucky me.

KILBRIDE: Afraid you missed her.

She's gone.

Where is she? Or is that classified?

It is,

but she's probably gonna
get herself k*lled, anyway,

so what the hell?

Syria.

Trying to clean up a mess
of her own doing.

To be honest, I didn't think
she'd make it back

the first time, so who knows.

She's harder to k*ll

than that cockroach
everyone seems to love.

What is she doing over there?

I just told you, she is

- cleaning up...
- Specifically.

Well, that is classified.

Let's just say
that her great white whale hunt

went south,

and now some others are paying for it.

Why aren't we helping her?

Because you don't throw good
money after bad, Agent Callen.

Hopefully, she'll be able
to pull another rabbit

out of her hat.
She does have a knack for it,

I'll give her that.

And if she doesn't?

ZASHA: I guess I owe you a thank you.

It's not mandatory, but it is
considered a polite gesture.

If there was any doubt before,

I'm definitely b*rned now.

Yeah.

But you're free.

To be hunted for the rest of my life.

I don't even have a country anymore.

Well, these days, that might
actually be a good thing.

You do me one more favor,

and I will help you.

Another favor?

I have nothing but the clothes
I'm wearing because of you.

Do you have a better option?

What do you want me to do?

I want you to keep an eye on someone.

Tell me what they're doing.

ZASHA: You want me to go to Syria?

You'll be safer there than you are here.

Who's this? Your mother?

Please. You know who that is
as well as I do.

Maybe better.

Yeah, we know who she is.

What's she doing in Syria?

That is what you're gonna find out.

ZASHA: Sydney Violet Richards.

My initials are SVR?

Is this your idea of humor?

I thought it could be
our little inside joke.

- Hilarious.
- Hmm.

This passport expires in eight months.

Yeah, that sucks.

But this should not take
more than a few weeks.

You do this,

I will get you legit,
government-issued papers.

And you can even pick your own name.

HETTY: The subject shows
an exceptional memory.

Given the proper opportunity
and education,

there's no telling
what he could achieve.