03x04 - Episode 4

Episode transcripts for the TV show "No Offence". Aired: May 5, 2015 to October 2018.*
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"No Offence" follows a group of policemen on the front line wondering what they did to end up where they are on the ugly side of Manchester. Keeping these streets clean is a Herculean task, enough to demoralize even the keenest rookie, but there's a reason these cops are in this force. As the never ending rabble off the local estates pours in, Inspector Vivienne Deering, the station's sharp, odd and hard-as-they-come boss, and her team led by DC Dinah Kowalski (smart but impetuous, stuck in the middle, single mother in her 30s) and DC Joy Freers (buttoned up so tight she might pop. But nobody's mug), show they have what it takes to cr*ck crime and to expose the addled, the skanky, the pimps, the petty and the really proper nasty bastards for the sewer rats they are.
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03x04 - Episode 4

Post by bunniefuu »

- Where are you going? - To London,
to tell Special Branch I'm done.

- Because you're pregnant?
- Caddy's the father? - Not a chance.

Dennis' balls are clinically drier
than a witch's tit.

He thinks it's a miracle.

- I don't owe you anything.
- You may not have remembered Joy, but

she remembered you.

Albion don't know who the mole is,
hence the thr*at to Miller.

You made yourself my handler, Dinah.
I need handling.

Hey, what you doing?!

You're about to be charged with the
hate crime m*rder of Abel Lander.

She's not as scared as I am,
is she, ma'am?

She's not, Stuart.

On the night of the hustings,
were the candidates searched?

- Was Caroline?
- No, they were all fast-tracked.

I hereby announce that
Caroline McCoy is duly elected

the Mayor of the City of Manchester

Jesus! What's the g*n for?

Police! Dirkin's been hit.

Beckett is still alive.

He meant to miss.

He meant to miss.

Seems quiet enough.
Prank call?

The caller was screaming
about drug dealing and v*olence,

but it was all a bit hysterical.

I'm gasping for a coffee.

Oh, thank God! I'm Gabriel Turner,
this is my parents' house.

- Nice place.
- Yeah, well, look at it!

It's a private party,
so nothing to do with us, really.

Carrie Blackburn just gave Matthew
Price a blowjob in the hot tub.

She's and it's going to
bugger the filters.

Like I said, not our problem.

You've got to do
something about this.

OK, well, look, there's a
drug dealer here, right now,

with actual dr*gs next door.

You guys have to do
something about that. Come on.

Come on, hurry up, hurry up!

That one there!
Yeah, she's the dealer.

THEY CHANT: Tessa! Tessa!

Is that Tess?

sh*t! Jesus.

Dinah's going to go mental.

- Where's Dennis? - Inside with Spike.
- You come and see me after, yeah?

Dennis' rancid little heart will
be breaking without you, love.

Pop in, make sure he don't
get suspicious.

Right cos seconds out here,
that'll do it, not the bloody

armed policemen who turned up
out of nowhere in the woods -

- he'll think that's totally legit, won't he?!
- Morning, Viv!

Well, I'm off fishing fascist
brains out of a Persian rug.

k*lled by one of his own,
doing the job for us, pop.

- Who's got you by the flaps then?
- Come here. - What?

Is this a bollocking or a hand
job? I didn't bring wet wipes.

Shame, I forgot the baby oil.
Get in!

The suspect was in possession
of a firearm and a bag containing

£ , in cash.

Not so gobby now, are you?

His brief's on her way - should have
him charged by lunchtime.

Just remind me, what is it for
possession of a firearm nowadays?

- Seven years? - Ten.
- Ten?

Ten years.

This is for Joy, you piece of sh*t.

Caroline McCoy? Caroline bloody
McCoy? What, and this is nailed on?

So our girl is dead so that
bint could become a politician?

And I have nothing to prove it.

Go through Dirkin's things, anything
and everything in the house.

I need something that's going to
link Caroline and Dirkin.

No sooner said, I'm right on it.

Jesus Christ! You should've said,
you could've used our bin.

Thanks. You told him? Dinah?

Yeah, this one I don't need to see.

What's this?
Masons or Weight Watchers?

We'll get her, I promise you.

Ma'am. Dinah.

Caroline McCoy faked her own
assassination attempt so she

could swing the vote
and win the election.

She even smuggled the g*n
into the town hall for Beckett.

I know. I'm feeling it.

When I see that bitch...
You won't have to wait too long.

I've just had a call
from the town hall,

Caroline McCoy's on her way over -
photo op.

A chance to thank her
supporters in the station.

- When?
- About an hour.

Now, what are we going to
do about Dennis?

- Well, we've got him with a g*n.
- That's ten years, easy.

Let's just charge him
and tell Bonnie it's over.

I don't want him charged,
I want him back out there.

Viv, there's no way
Bonnie's cover can hold.

Not Bonnie, she's finished
all right.

You were spitting nails the last
time we had to release Dennis.

Yeah, that was before I let
Caroline bloody McCoy get her

hands on a billion pound budget
and the keys to our city.

How the hell could we not have
known that she was running around

with Albion?

What else have we missed?

And don't get me started
on Joseph Beckett

cos he's still out there, knocking
off whoever the hell he fancies.

All we have got is Dennis Caddy.

You can't just release him.

No, no, I want him working.

I want him working for us.

He's our one chance
of nailing them both.

I'm going to mess with his head,

and I'm going to get him
to see that we are his only hope.

And once we've got him,
we can take down Caroline, too.

I'm sure there's meant to be
sweeping violins underneath

that grand speech but there's no way
that you're going to turn Dennis,

not in hours.

Sorry to interrupt, ma'am,

but Dennis' lawyer's just
turned up in reception.

It's Antonia Cairns.

- Who pays for the lawyer, him or Albion?
- Albion.

Keep her in reception,
don't let her talk to Dennis.

OK, but it's his legal right.
How do I stop her?

I'll help, come on.

Viv, what are you planning?

I'm going to blow Bonnie's cover.

You blow her cover,
you're risking her life.

Not if I do it right.

You're exposing her to entrapment,
malfeasance,

maybe even sexual as*ault.

Go and get her, I need her up here.

She'll spend the rest of her life
waiting for Albion to find her...

- and k*ll her. - Dinah, you're
a Sergeant now, my Sergeant.

We're going to do this.

Yeah...

Funny story, actually,
do you remember that old lady

that you represented...
Oh, Philippa...

- Philippa whatshername?
- Jonah...

She used to take her clothes off in
custody, she crapped in the corner.

Used to growl...

- ...like a little terrier.
- What are you doing?

Just that erm...

Ma'am needs to see
you before you go through.

So just say so and shut up.

Where's my lawyer?

Dennis, love,
I'm going to tell you the truth.

Now, no-one else will, and I would
like you to remember that.

I want my lawyer.

All your lawyer's going to do
is tut and say,

"Oh, dear me, Dennis, you have made
a real mess of it this time."

Because the thing that she's going
to be worrying about

is how all this affects Albion.

You're just a grunt to her.

Well, let's see.

We arrested your sister
Faye yesterday.

- What for?
- m*rder.

She's on her way up
to Durham right now.

Gone right off her food.

Just shows what the prospect of life
inside can do to you.

m*rder? That's sh*t!

Point is, she's gone and Albion
are about to abandon you.

Now, I know you that you think
that you're the big cheese,

- but not any more, you're on your own.
- Really?

How come we found you last night?

No, no, no, she can't, she can't!

Lucky guess, was it? I know you've
been wondering about that.

Who's the mole, Dennis?

What if she can't hold him?

- What the f*ck happens to me then?!
- Just wait.

- You already know.
- Bollocks.

Your girlfriend,
Bonnie Sands, works for me.

No. No f*cking way.

You know that already.

Why else would she be with you?

I want my lawyer,
I'm not saying another word.

Oh, my God, you do not want her.

You know what that rabble at Albion
will do to you

when she tells them
what you've done.

You passed on all this
info to the police?

They're going to take
a razor blade to your balls.

Bonnie - no way.

Go f*ck yourself.

Call her.

If she's not a cop, then she'll
be downstairs in the cells,

and her phone will be impounded.

That's right, isn't it?
So call her.

See what happens.

Go on...

...call her.

This is such bullshit.

- Answer it.
- I can't.

What are you trying to do to me?

Bonnie, you have to.
Answer it and you're free.

Jesus, you really had me!

You've got some balls, lady.

If I hadn't called,
you'd be in my head all right.

Jesus!

f*ck!

Sorry, I missed your call.

What was it you wanted?

You sober enough to talk to yet?

Where's your mum?

Dunno. She's not come home.

She lives at that cop shop.

Oh, my days, my bloody head.

Nice. and hungover.

Future of our country, right here.

Oh, please, like you weren't off
your tits at my age.

- But I wasn't dealing dr*gs.
- Neither was I.

I've got a very angry young man
who says otherwise.

He wants you done for dealing, Tess.

Well, I wasn't. All right?
I swear, I wasn't.

sh*t.

Stu, am I in trouble?

I don't know. Tell me about it.

Tess! Tell me about it!

All right!

I had some pills on me.

Pills?

Yeah, like a handful, that's all.

I was sharing them out with
my mates.

And then Gabriel swans over,

all full of himself and goes,
"Oi, give me one, it's party tax."

He took a pill himself?

No, cos I told him he'd have to
pay, like everyone else.

- Oh, Jesus.
- It was a joke.

And he knew it was a joke.

That's not dealing-dealing, is it?

I mean, he only came over to me
cos he fancies me.

He knows you?

Course he does.

How many pills you still got?

Some.

These are going down the loo.

I'll talk to the kid
and make this go away.

And Dinah's not going to know a
thing about it, right?

It's the least we can do after
Joy and everything.

Thanks, Stu.

Listen...

...I know you're a kid and,
yeah, I did sh*t, too,

but you're also a cop's daughter.

Anthonia Cairns? Detective Chief
Superintendent Marchant.

Good. I was hoping to speak to
someone senior because

the procedural violations in this
station today,

perpetrated by this numbskull,
are inexcusable.

To be honest,
I'm surprised you're here.

What with the sad demise of
Mr Lionel Dirkin, I'd assumed

you passed on Mr Caddy.

I'm sorry, what?

Haven't you heard? Lionel Dirkin
was sh*t in his home last night.

Sorry, should I have mentioned that?

Dirkin pays Albion's fees,

so unless you're here for
some pro bono work,

or you're particularly fond
of the Far Right...

Mark, I'm at the station.

What's this about Dirkin?

All right.

Well, I don't know what was going
on here but, as of now, I don't care.

The nasty little sh*t's all yours.

Jonah, it was memorable.

Inspector, you've made my day.

Tell Dennis he's lost his brief.

Offer him some bog-standard
duty solicitor and make

the prospect as appealing as
sticking his tongue in a blender.

- There she is!
- Madam Mayor.

Oh, it's weird, eh?

A little scrapper
from Cinderly like me.

Who are these shiny people?

Oh, that's Meg and Daniel -
they're doing the comms.

Basically telling me when I'm
not smiling enough.

But it was my idea to come here.

I mean, I only won because of you.

Oh, don't blame me for that!
But you're all very welcome.

Now, what can we do for you today?

Ten minutes with the troops,
tell them how much they matter,

- a few photos. - No problem.
- And then, maybe, you and me.

A few minutes,
no cameras, just us. Lovely.

I can fill you in on the
Lionel Dirkin m*rder.

Oh, don't you worry... We're making
exceptional progress on that.

His lawyer's gone.

Didn't even speak to Dennis.

Couldn't see her for dust when she
realised her line of credit

d*ed with Dirkin.

So that's you done here, missus.

You never have to see him again.

We'll need to do a hot debrief,
psychological assessments,

risk reports.

As you'll know, it's protocol.

All right, all right,
enough photos of the happy couple!

You lot, you are bloody privileged
to have this woman here today,

on her first day in office.

Yes!

No, no, I am privileged.

You lot, the police,
you're taken for granted.

I just want you to know that
I appreciate you.

And well, things are going to
change now that I'm mayor.

Not having one hand stuck behind
your back because of

idiotic regulations.

I am cutting the red tape

and making you lot the cops
that you want to be.

Yes!

Hello?

Hello?!

Oh, hello.

You not going to tidy up?

No, Fatima's in tomorrow -
she'll get it done in no time.

f*ck off! Get out.

So, what's up?
Did you sort out that dealer?

Oh, you mean Tessa Kowalska?

I don't know, is that her name?

Cut the sh*t, kid.

You know exactly who she is.

I've been running around town
cos you've got a crush

on that girl and this is your
revenge for her turning you down.

Am I right?

Sort of.

Sorry.

Right, well, we're done.

Good luck to your cleaner. Poor cow.

I know Tess quite well actually.

Like how her mum's a cop.

And you're wrong about her dealing.

I've got a video of it on my phone.

If you look real closely,

you can see her hand over a bunch
of pills, right...there.

I don't know,
looks a lot like drug dealing to me.

Do you want me to send you the clip?

What am I saying? Of course you do.
You're a police officer.

Unless you were trying to cover up a
crime cos the dealer's mum is a cop.

You wouldn't do that, would you?

I mean, that's some serious sh*t.

Isn't it?

So, Stuart -

do you mind it if
I call you Stuart? -

how are you going to get yourself
out of this mess, then?

We arrested Dennis Caddy
at the scene.

- Hopefully, we've got enough
to charge him. - Yeah?

What's he said?

It's all no comment, I'm afraid.

And Beckett?

He was gone before we could
secure the scene.

So he's still out there.

Do you think he's going to come
after me again?

I can arrange a new security detail,
if you're worried, love.

Are you worried?

I don't know, I'm just so tired,
you know? This campaign.

But it makes you paranoid about
who you can trust.

I saw you last night
at the Town Hall.

You didn't seem very happy I'd won.

I'm thrilled for you, love.

I should've said at the time,

but the Dirkin m*rder case blew up
on me.

Come on now, bugger off -

go and pester a fireman
for a photo opportunity.

And if he wants to throw you
over his shoulder,

make sure that you're
wearing clean kecks.

I think I'm going to spend half the year
in a high-vis jacket, aren't I? Hiya.

So, uh...I'll see you, then.

Good luck.

You're always welcome here.

It's good to know.

This meeting isn't recorded.

No lawyer, as agreed, no tape -
just us.

- But no Bonnie.
- That's right.

Why didn't you k*ll Beckett?

- Where is she?
- She's gone.

- I want to see her.
- No.

Now, you tell me about
Caroline McCoy.

No, I don't know her.

Oh, you know how this works -

you help us and we talk to the CPS.

You used a woman to entrap me,
to r*pe me...

- Oh, for God's sake.
- Sex without consent.

I would have never have f*cking
touched her if I'd have known.

Did you go to Caroline McCoy
with the plan for the faked

assassination, or was it her idea?

Ask Bonnie.

So who organised it?

I'm not doing this.

I'm not sitting here when that
woman's out there with my baby.

You know, thinking about all this,
what you've done,

maybe I should have
a lawyer, after all.

It's not your baby.

You're a jaffa.

She just played on your emotions
using some other fella's kid.

No. I don't believe that.

- Jesus wept.
- Prove it.

Until you can do that,
go f*ck yourselves.

I felt abused, ashamed.

Often exploited.

Angry with myself,
with the people who controlled me.

Whoa, are we recording this for
a documentary, or what?

What are you talking about?

Bonnie, wherever you've been
for way too long,

for God's sake, don't come home
sounding like a claims form.

Are you asking for my serious
medical help,

or are we just going to swipe
your card?

I-I need help.

Oh, sorry, Peep, can you...?

We're in the middle of a
psych examination, you...off.

What is it?

We need you to do a blood test,
to prove the baby's not his.

Miller can get the results back in a
few hours if we expedite.

Just to shut the fantasies down.

It'd really help.

Well, A,
how does this help you one iota?

Do you mind keeping out of this?

I've been contracted by your
department to keep in it.

B, this isn't her meeting, so either
one of us or both of us need

to tell her to f*ck right off,
or she's going to be reported to

both departments for
professional harassment.

But she's going to end up on my doorstep,
so I don't know why I'm offing.

No, it's OK,
let's get it over with.

f*ck.

Uh, squared.

You said...he couldn't.

He genuinely didn't think he could.

OK, but still...

No, Dinah.
I only slept with one man last year,

and that was Dennis.

OK.

I'll be seeing you both
in about a month.

And I f*cked the case, haven't I?

Just wish you'd told us.

I was scared, all right?

You do this job, you live like I
have, and then you judge me.

Yeah. Sorry.

What did Viv say?

She wants you in with her.

Get Dennis to turn.

No. No way. No. The idea is,
when I'm done, I'm gone.

That's the whole point of
being undercover.

Yeah, well, you kind of f*cked the
whole point with his kid,

didn't you? But I can't!

After everything I've done to him,
I can't face him.

- She needs you.
- But I can't!

For Joy.

One last time.

Echo Tango Two to Control.

We'll take it.

Suspected vandalism?

Oh come on, that's like, so boring.

Where's the action?

Yeah, well, it's a quiet day.

Look, the deal was I get to hang out
with you guys and do a bunch

of cool sh*t which I can tell
everyone about.

Like a bank robbery

or watch some dude choke to death on
his own vomit.

I'm sure... Just...

...something will turn up.

It had better.

Otherwise, the deal's off.

Now, come on - I want top speed,
lights, sirens.

Come on!

Yes, darling, I'm looking at
one of yours now -

A crime against carpentry
called the Banley.

Straw underneath,
dead body on top, strike a match,

it'd come into its own.

What the buffalo it's doing in
anyone's parlour, though...

Yeah, so, wholesale and any import
on that, what we looking at?

Nine?

What, you mean , ,
don't you?

What?

And your Drakefield, the one with
the interesting mottled cushion -

looks like a football team's played
spunky biscuit on it?

That's even less? Give over, madam.

He can't hurt you.

He'll try and throw some sh*t at you
but that's all he can do.

You're stronger than him.

OK.

The baby's yours.

Yeah, right, f*ck off!
They haven't even taken a sample.

We only needed the mother's blood.

And your DNA's already
in our system.

"Our"?

Was any of it real?

The sex was, obviously.

Mummy.

Who does this?

Who sends employees out to
f*ck the enemy?

The original Nazis
prompted the idea.

Same tricks apply to tribute bands,
apparently.

Nobody gave me those instructions.
It was my choice.

Shucks, I'm flattered. You c**t!

f*ck off! Ah-ah-ah.

Cosy chat is over.

Where's Beckett?

I want another lawyer.

Well, what can you afford?

Duty lawyer's fine.

I just need an injunction
to stop an abortion.

Pissed right on your chips,
there, Bonnie.

I'll make you live with it
FOR THE REST OF YOUR f*cking LIFE.

I've no intention of getting an
abortion, Dennis.

Permission to step out, Ma'am.

Granted.

Dirkin's dead.

Who else might Beckett be
talking to, eh? Caroline McCoy?

No idea, I've never met the woman.

Well, did Dirkin ever mention her?

Faye was sure you were the mole.

I told her shut up or f*ck off,

which she wouldn't, so
YOUSE LOT FRAMED HER!

Oh, grow up, Dennis - you're getting
flashbacks to Night Manager.

Your sister is banged up
on solid evidence.

Now, look at me!

We desperately need to get
Joseph Beckett off the streets.

That's been your only job since
he went apeshit.

Yeah, well, someone is hiding him.

Check my pockets.

Once he finds out that Bonnie was
undercover, he'll go after her, too.

No?

Or maybe you'd love that.

No, I don't want to talk to my mum.

I need Stuart.

Can't you get him on the
radio or something?

Tess?

You all right, love? Yeah, fine.

I just wanted to see how Stu was.

- Stuart?
- Yeah.

He was helping me out with a thing,
but it's no big deal, honestly.

Hold on.

What's going on?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Come on.

I screwed up.

Happy now?

Come upstairs.

Take her upstairs.

No offence, you guys,
but your job is seriously dull.

It'd better be better tomorrow
or the deal's off.

I mean, you guys are OK.

Especially you, Tegan.

- You got a boyfriend?
- Yeah, she has.

Him?

Oh, come on, Tegan, you could do so
much better than that.

You know, after today,
I'm not sure that I disagree.

- Right? Yeah? Yeah?
- Who's that?

Oh, sh*t. Dad.

It was just a weekend.

It was just two nights away with
your mother and you do this.

I'm used to my son's antics.

Should almost have expected it.

After all, he is a f*cking moron.

But, as far as I understand it,

you came to the house and you just
let the carnage carry on.

This was a civil matter -
it wasn't our business to intervene.

Young people
drinking and taking dr*gs?

No, sir, we didn't see any dr*gs.

Did you see any dr*gs, Gabriel?

I think I...

I-I...


Sorry.

Anyone understand that?

I spent thousands on his education.
What have I got? A gibbering idiot.

Mr Turner, I called you because...

Truth is, your two buddies here
f*cked up and you want to me

to control my son.

No, no, no. We can do this formally,
if you prefer.

Tess can be arrested. I'll make sure she's
interviewed by an independent investigator,

show no bias. Yeah. Hm.

Good.

Her lawyer will argue that your
son's phone recording

shows no dealing.

Were there any dr*gs recovered
from the party, Stuart?

No.

No. OK. That's what we'll do,
no problem. OK.

Obviously, to prove no bias,
we'd need to arrest Gabriel.

What?

Yeah, for being concerned in the
unlawful supply of controlled dr*gs.

And aiding and abetting unlawful
sexual intercourse

by providing the premises
for such actions to occur.

Bit of a smarty pants, aren't you?

We would have to inform social
services that this young man

was regularly left alone and able
to organise these parties

because his parents couldn't control
him...due to their

- constant absence from his life.
- Hm.

Or we could all agree that this is
just something that has been

dealt with, no further action
needs to be taken by either side.

What do you think, sir?

Give me the phone. Let me see it.

I don't know.
It's not very clear, is it?

I tell you what...

...let's ask the new mayor, shall we?

Let's send her this, see what SHE
thinks.

Her whole campaign was about the
police after all.

Just so we're being...thorough,
eh, son?

OK.

Charge me with accessory.

That's seven years, right?

I can do that if I have to,

but my chances at a trial
are better than good.

I was accessory only to a stunt.

With a live firearm that k*lled
one of my officers.

Which I presumed was fake,
cos it was a stunt.

Any decent jury's going to laugh
you out the dock.

So, worst case, three-and-a-half
with good behaviour.

- Then I pick up where I left off.
- Left off what?

The kid.

The kid?

I'll have either been acquitted or
I'll have served my time.

So, by laws and decency,
I'm entitled to access.

She was an undercover officer.

We don't even know her real name.

It's her job to vanish again
until the bat phone goes.

We didn't know her before this.
We won't see her again.

I want to see Bonnie.

She's being de-briefed
before leaving.

You're not the only ones
with facial recognition software.

And yet, she got past your vetting
to end up in bed.

Bonnie!

She's not here.

She's off the case.

She has filed her last report.

We never met.

Now...

...you let me know

when you want to
talk about Beckett.

This is such a f*cked-up case.

You are such a f*cked-up case.

I'll get pro bono,
just for the coverage!

YOU f*cking...

Right, call in the boys,
let's get him back in his cell.

No, wait. That's my child!
Put an end to this.

You can't f*cking do this.
There are laws!

We're not going to catch Beckett if
he's rolled up in a foetal ball,

sh1tting himself without nappies.

THIS IS INHUMAN!

He's nowhere to go after
"inhuman" but, honest, wait.

No, I'm stopping this.

Oops.

Difference between us - if I don't
invoice, I'm not responsible.

A settee? A sodding settee?

Why are we talking interior
design, Miller?

Yeah, apologies for milking this -

I am presently tumescent
with smugness.

Dirkin, he has three poncey bespoke
sofas adorning his molly house

and these fellas - well,
not knowing their own strength,

they've done gone and flipped one
over during gunfight

at the Alt Right orgy -
vouchsafing unto my keen senses -

a little metal disc on the chassis,
bearing the initials "MFS".

McCoy's Furniture Store.

McCoy as in Caroline McCoy.

Caroline McCoy,
the newly elected mayor.

All this is tales of the f*cking
obvious, I know,

but it is not the thing.
The thing is,

Dirkin has shelled grand
apiece for these.

That is - a k hand shandy on some
frankly very average buffets

that retail normally
eight thou tops.

Now where's the other gone?

Right into Caroline McCoy's
campaign fund.

They're money laundering
for England and the commonwealth.

Now we have the start of a paper
trail linking Caroline to Dirkin.

We just need time and some deep
forensic accounting.

You keep digging, Miller.

You just made my Christmas
card list.

Just heard from the FME.

Dennis is conscious,
injuries are all superficial.

We're good to go.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Can I just have a word, Ma'am?

What you done?

Well, the short version is...that
I think I'm about to get sacked.

So's Stuart and Tegan.

Probably you, as well, Dinah.

Yeah, I'm sorry about that.

You'd best not be taking the piss
about vegetarian.

Boss sent me nearly half a mile

cos she doesn't trust canteen
with beef dripping.

Oh, Jesus, Bonnie, no!
Who's seen you?

Nobody. Please, Jonah,
I've gotta go soon.

It's my job, if I don't report this.

Well, it's not busy,
from here to Deering's office,

could you make that take you
two minutes?

It normally takes three.

I'm locking you in.

Make your own excuses.

I'm not saying goodbyes to anyone
else, Dennis, I never do.

Can you just do this?
Like a f*cking grasshopper?

Just reboot somewhere else
with a clean slate?

"Clean!"

I could k*ll you right now.

You'd be dead before they got near.

You wanted to know which bits
of me were real.

I don't care any more.

Then it doesn't matter where I'm
relocated for my next assignment.

Tell me you're not working cases
like this till you get maternity?!

Cases like what?

Scabby sh*t.

At four months pregnant!

As it turns out, I'm nearly five...

...and I do know the sex.

I didn't ask,
I was told accidentally.

It's a boy, Dennis.

That's Jonah.

Deering's onto me.

Dennis, look at me.

I got lost in the middle
of pretending.

I don't know who said this,

but they reckon your child can be
two and a half times what you are.

f*ck's sake,
Bonnie, don't tell me that!

Your decision as to whether that's
for better or worse.

They'll suspend me for this.

For this?!

Who gives a sh*t?

She already knows I'm here, anyway.

This piece of work actually knows
things before she's told it, so...

I banked days overtime.

Well, no, now.

So, they'd be doing me a favour.

Overtime on me?

Yeah!

How can this work, Bonnie?

Make your own choices.

I won't be stupid about this.

I can wait.

I can't.

If you do what they say,
if you help them, then, who knows?

Whether they say they'll
let you go or not,

I wouldn't trust a word of
without it in writing.

You may owe Beckett your life,

but it's up to you whether you let
him keep taking others...

...and he really scares me, Dennis.

Got him. Good girl.

Viv, really?

What did you think of my
performance, Ma'am?

My old drama teacher said I was the
finest Bottom he'd ever seen.

- That's the go-to line before you get
fingered. - That's enough.

Have you been boozing?

Viv...

Ma'am, have you had a chance to
think about what we're gonna do yet?

I heard the mayor rang.

f*ck the mayor.
I need to talk to you. Now.

You can't let them go.

Not in their present
mental capacity.

Yeah, all right.

Dennis is a little bit fragile -

but Bonnie's handling him now,
and she's a pro.

Yeah, a real pro
who let herself get pregnant.

Well, that's an accident.

I spend all day, every day
listening to people lie to me,

and what I heard in that cell,
the way Bonnie was talking,

that came from a deep place
within her, and it was true.

I have absolutely no idea
where her head is at right now.

Are you going to pay any attention
to what Peep's just told you?

I turned Dennis.

After one nod in a cell?

If you let them out you are gonna
be fishing Bonnie's body

out of the canal within the hour -

and that's not even the half of it.

Oh, I kept meaning to come
and talk to you about that.

Mayor's on her way in.

Needs to talk urgently about alleged
corruption in my department.

That's code for "I want you out".

I'll think of something.

Oh, you love all this off-the-cuff
policing, don't you?

I have to win.

For Joy.

So, today - just today, mind -

you've risked the life of an
undercover officer

by blowing her cover without
consultation or approval,

you've interviewed a prisoner
without a lawyer

or any recording device
contrary to PACE,

and then incited him to
v*olence and self-harm -

and all the while, officers
under your charge

were deliberately burying evidence
about drug dealing

because the accused is the
daughter of a colleague.

You really feel like
you're winning, Viv?

I'm still standing.

And when Caroline comes and
she gets just a sniff of this -

how long before
you're out of the door?

Do you think she's worked out
you're onto her?

Yes, Ma'am.

So she's gonna use this Tessa
business to get rid of everyone.

She'll be mayor, there'll be two
uncontrollable psychopaths

on the street and no police.

Winning?

You're not even fighting, Viv.
You're drowning.

You're right.

There is only one way to fix this.

You'll have to resign.

Wait, what?

She needs a senior officer to go,
like you said.

That way we can keep on
investigating her.

Take the blame -
your watch, your officers.

Wipe the slate clean.

What do you say?

I say you stuff it up your arse.

If anyone does any digging,
this'll all seem kosher.

You know what's next?

We'll arrange a secure location,
somewhere we can control.

You'll contact Beckett when
the time is right,

arrange the meet,
and we'll have him.

Dinah.

Hi, Mum.

Got your messages. What's up?

It's the mayor. Go, go, go.

Wait over there.

Madam Mayor!
Hello. The DI's expecting you.

Is she? Great. Hiya, Dinah.

- You all right?
- Madam Mayor. Congratulations.

Thanks, hon.

You look knackered.

Cheers.

This way.

I'm sorry, all right?

I'll never do it again,
never do anything like it, I swear.

I'm gonna lose my job.

So's Viv, so are half my mates.

But that's not fair.

Well, that's the way it is.

So I'm glad you've learned
your lesson.

- You're such a bitch.
- You what?!

All you ever think about
is your job.

- I do it for you. It pays the bills.
- Bullshit.

Work's just your excuse to stay away
from us all isn't it?

Joy said that you were incredible.

She said that I should never get
cross with you,

no matter what you did, because you
were the best person in the world.

But I've never seen it.

Because you save it for work,
don't you?

Look, Mum, I'm really, really
sorry for what I did.

I am.

But, please...

...come home now.

I will.

In a bit.

Tess...

I'm trying.

I swear.

Madam Mayor.

Don't be daft, Viv -
I'm here as a friend.

Now would you like a drink?

If I'm honest,
I think we both might need one.

Do you know, the worst thing about
the journey here

was going over it again and again,

and it coming out worse
for us all every time,

and not being able to see a
way around it.

Well, it's a good job I can.

I'm resigning.

I've written to the Chief Constable

and I'll be gone
by the end of the week.

I take full responsibility
for it all.

Detective Chief Inspector Terry
Taylor is just the man for the job.

God, look at her.
Like butter wouldn't melt.

There's been a complaint of
misconduct made against you.

- By who?
- Inspector Deering.

At the risk of going all Lion King
on you, we keep the circle.

Ma'am.

If Terry-dactyl gets a whiff that
we're onto McCoy, it's game over.

Deering doesn't know he's here.

Or does she?

I can't think straight knowing that
maniac's still out there.

There's no need to go all
Witches of Eastwick on me.

If you get Beckett -
be the making of you.

Bet you wish you'd sh*t
the bitch dead.

All officers - to Sinderley market.

Vivienne - this cannot go wrong.

Stuart!
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