03x06 - Episode 6

Episode transcripts for the TV show "No Offence". Aired: May 5, 2015 to October 2018.*
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"No Offence" follows a group of policemen on the front line wondering what they did to end up where they are on the ugly side of Manchester. Keeping these streets clean is a Herculean task, enough to demoralize even the keenest rookie, but there's a reason these cops are in this force. As the never ending rabble off the local estates pours in, Inspector Vivienne Deering, the station's sharp, odd and hard-as-they-come boss, and her team led by DC Dinah Kowalski (smart but impetuous, stuck in the middle, single mother in her 30s) and DC Joy Freers (buttoned up so tight she might pop. But nobody's mug), show they have what it takes to cr*ck crime and to expose the addled, the skanky, the pimps, the petty and the really proper nasty bastards for the sewer rats they are.
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03x06 - Episode 6

Post by bunniefuu »

It was Joy's wake and we were
both so blind drunk.

Dinah, sorry.

Detective Chief Inspector Terry
Taylor is just the man for the job.

She's asked him to be her eyes
and ears on Friday Street.

Especially you two.
Thinks you're up to summat.

I thought he'd sh*t you. I had to
give the order.

- Dinah, we need him alive!
- One, two, come on!

We arrested your sister Faye yesterday.

Eh, what?

You're about to be charged with the
hate crime m*rder

- of Abel Lander.
- Who?

I'm a woman of my word.
I'll back you all the way.

HEART MONITOR BEEPS

CONTINUOUS BEEP

Caroline McCoy doesn't know what he
just chose to tell us.

Better still, she doesn't need to
know if he's dead at all.

Has he gone?

Far from it, Caroline.

We saw a crash team dive in!

They've identified a bleed

which they wouldn't otherwise have
spotted, so... fingers crossed.

I'll show you out.

I'm with you, Caroline.
I'm f*ckin' gutted.

God bless you!

Call Miller for wetwork. I want
Beckett's corpse shifted pronto.

Open up.

They say you're asking for a favour.

- Yeah, thanks, I was wondering...
- No, no, no, no.

I just wanted to ask, who the f*ck
do you think you are,

asking for a favour from us?

Is Beckett dead or alive?

We working out how to spin our
defence, Dennis?

I know Special Branch are involved,

so I know I probably
won't even get a lawyer.

He's a friend. We go back.

Is he dead or alive?

That's the very least I deserve.

OK, for your information, I've just
come from St Mark's.

I forget how they put it. "His body
has a medical memory of survival."

He's gone back in to surgery.

They say they're less worried about
him now than when he came in.

Respect for that.

Close it.

You know, we can't let you to
talk to him, Bonnie.

What you just did in there was
an act of cruelty.

We.

You're meant to be in the other building.

If DCI Taylor realises he's seen you
somewhere before...

Mind you, he probably thinks you all
look alike, the r*cist prick.

You can't be here, Bonnie.

RAISED VOICES

You total f*cking piece of sh*t!

HE GRUNTS

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Don't protect people like him!

- Get off me!
- We were called to a r*pe.

Aye, if he'd have been up to it,
that's what it would've been,

but you met your match, didn't you,
freak?! Get off me!

Get off!

- What do I do with that?!
- What?!

I've got that sh*t's skin
under me fingernails!

Out! Out!

I'd just got ready to go to
a mate's party.

When the door goes,

I think it's the cab turning up
early, so I open the door...

...and he just smiles and hovers,
and says, "Hi, it's Dean."

I says I've no recollection of him,
so I go to shut the door,

he blocks it with his foot and
he pushes me back.

I try screaming, but he shoves a
sock in my mouth,

and it's a dirty sock and all so
all I can taste is feet.

Then he tries ripping me top off,

so I grab a ballpoint from the
table, I smack it in his ear

and he goes down screaming and he
doesn't get up again.

I couldn't let him.

They're going to need to take some
samples from you.

You do know he didn't get to stick
anything in, don't you?

Er... But it says his genitals were
exposed during the fight.

Oh, yeah.
I got that with my shoe an' all.

That won't see the light of day
again for a while.

I'm glad I paid what I did for my
shoes now, though.

You never know, do you?

r*pist introduces himself with his
full name? Dean Wayne?

How's that smart if you don't
want catching?

Unless he was planning to k*ll her.

...

HE SPLUTTERS

...St Stephen's Crescent...

...Salford, S ...

... SC.

What's your special story, Dean?

It were an invitation.

From Christine? Yeah.

- To r*pe her?
- Yes!

And what did she do wrong, Dean? Say no?

Yes!

I am in the As You Like It, the club.

Being?

A membership-only r*pe fantasy
forum, all right,

which is nearly quid a year!

I got an introduction,
do you know what I mean?

I had to sign all kinds of... bonds.

- "Bonds" being?
- Terms of engagement.

You normally get a warning
if you're in for a pasting,

do you know what I mean?

They are the rules.

DOOR OPENS

I'm giving the r*pe case to DCI Taylor.

Viv, no, he's not fit to deal...

Well, it's pointedly not a
r*pe case, is it?

Thank God. But the interview I just
observed makes it skewy enough

to keep him occupied.

We're activating your
Operation Dead Beckett.

I'm about to break it to Terry.

- We're going to need him out the way.
- Fair dos.

Oh, you'll be gutted when it's
broken to you.

Brief the others.

Tell them anyone who wants to
pull out, it's now or never.

Scratch that last bit, just say it's now.

Joe Beckett's pulling through, Sir.

We're unexpectedly hopeful.

Are you thinking death threats, Sir?
We've all had 'em.

Not as many as me.

When the Diddums brothers went to
jail and sent me threats,

I got drunk and wrote back to 'em.

"Get your facts right,

"Maisie Gillespie was in charge of
that team. Pick on her."

And that's how I ended up back
at the bottom.

Still, at least I don't have a
death on my Christian conscience.

Oh, he's still pissing down his
leg and slavering a grudge,

but given the original odds,

we still have good hands on big evidence.

Well, I appreciate the update, Inspector.

Terry, erm...

I know you must be up to your
eyes in stuff,

but I've a favour to ask.

We've an odd case transpiring.

Now, it's going to require careful
handling by a senior officer,

and I simply don't have the time.

What are we looking at?

It's an attempted r*pe case.

She was home alone, but she
kicked seven bells out of him.

He was the only physical casualty,

but me laddo's a member of a
r*pe fantasy introduction club.

He says he entered into a
contract with the woman

for invasive r*pe fantasy protocol.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Recordings of the interview, ma'am.

Oh, yes. Erm...

Jonah, I'm asking DCI Taylor
to take over this case.

- Ma'am?
- Oh, Jonah, you'll still be attached,

but, Dinah, well, this case is going
to require more patience and

wisdom than Sergeant Kowolska's
got right now, quite frankly!

SHE CHUCKLES

Terry'll look after you. Watch and learn.

Oh, give me a minute to
break it to Dinah.

No, don't sweat it, Viv.

She's doesn't like me anyway.

I'll do it.

So, did this lass strike you as some
kind of head-the-ball?

Not in the least, Sir.

Well it's the "not in the least"
club that always turn out to

be, at the very least, head-the-balls,

so let's start there and save us
some taxes, eh?

- The r*pe case, you know the one?
- Yeah.

Deering's asked me to do it.

Why has she asked you?

What's the face for, missus?

Can I buy another burner phone off you?

Mine got nicked out me bag
last night, or I've lost it,

- cos my purse was still there.
- Help yourself.

Offer a good reward
and always take a gift.

Those are just the ones I had to
confiscate from me mam.

Just stick it in me joy pot.

Come over here, this'll cheer you up!

Terry thinks that he's breaking
bad news to Dinah over there.

Viv?!

- This is a joke!
- Hey, hey, hey!

What the f*ck?!

Ma'am, we're all unanimous in
thinking that

Terry is feeding back to McCoy.

With respect,
I'd like to hear that for myself.

THEY AGREE

If I'm going to pull this one off,

I'm going to need a covert credit line.

There's nothing I can do on my own
active budgets

that won't alert Terry.

I've had an open dialogue with
Special Branch

since before I resigned, it'll
have to be on their tab.

Remind them, the last
grand he stumped up

yielded very good rewards.
We got Beckett.

He's not a bank.

His biggest temptation is going to
be wanting a share of the spoils.

It's going to be known as a
joint operation.

Where did you just come from?!

- Come in the side.
- It's locked!

- Beckett's trainers.
- Oh, not on the granite island.

Soles of which are caked
with layers of oil,

carbon monoxide and human urine.

So where does piss, oil and
carbon monoxide like to hang out?

Car parks. There's over
, car parks in Manchester.

The trainers, if you'll just let me
finish the thought,

also carry traces of freshly laid tarmac.

Only three car parks have been
re-tarmacked in the last month,

and Dave Hetherington,
a covert Albion donor,

owns this one right here.
My guess is that this is where

Beckett's been hiding
himself all this time.

Well, if he has,

it might give us some detail to make
Caroline take the bait.

Miller, how soon can you get
a team down there?

Can I ask, what is the benefit of
keeping Beckett alive?

To persuade McCoy that he might have
struck a deal with us.

We need to force her hand.

We're on about actually wheeling out
a corpse to scare her?

- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- I'm not touching it.

Yeah, I know, state he's going to be in.

Well, the last time I saw what the
mortuary team had done,

he looked more shaggable than any of us.

- THEY CHUCKLE
- My team are picking me up in ten.

What do I do about my share for later?

DOGS BARK

Go on, seek it! Go on, good girl!

Earn your money.

Hi, Christine, this is Brady Manley.

She's from the r*pe Crisis Support Team.

She's not with us, we just
arrived together. How are you?

All right.

DCI Taylor. Er, Terry.

You been gardening, Christine?
I have. I live on a roundabout.

They've been planting crocuses.
Nightmare!

But it's a smell, isn't it, nature?

Take a seat, please.

- Had he done it before?
- His record's pristine.

So, why am I the first, why me?

Um, it's actually your own personal
history that we're concerned about.

We have you requesting a hook-up
on a r*pe fantasy message board.

- You have not!
- Oh, but we have.

This is the ISP for the desktop
in your spare bedroom.

Would you mind if I go up
and check on that?

If you asked for it rough,

changed your mind and said no,
the law's still on your side.

It's Charma, this is Charma.

- Karma, for what?
- No, me brother, Charma.

He's the only other person that's
ever had me computer password.

- How're you spelling that, Christine?
- C-H. The rest is the same.

What?

The patient in Beckett's bed has got
a totally different blood group.

We're awaiting DNA results.

You let him go?

He switched the other
patient for the subterfuge.

How, we do not know.
The medics only realised

when they untaped his tubes and

found his nose bent completely
the other way, like an Irish spud.

So, you let him go?!

- Hang on. Who're you contacting now?
- Above you.

Cos if I am to be guaranteed protection,

you need to get out of my sight, mate.

Hang on, hang on, wait, wait, Viv!
Can you just wait here

until somebody else turns up,
and then f*ck off?

Hiya, Terry, listen,

Viv's incompetence
is scaring me shitless, now.

And I will put that on record,
on Twitter, on YouTube,

in the next hour if my security is
not doubled until Beckett is found.

How is Terry only hearing about this now?

I've sent him three confidential memos

in the last two hours.
He hasn't returned.

Because he hasn't received them.

Your inbox is full, sir!

It would help if he read any.

_

- Something wrong?
- No.

Just some results from my GP
I'd been dreading, if I'm honest.

But you're all right, sweetheart?

Yeah, no, I'd rather not go into detail,

but it's a weight off my shoulders.

Medical weight.

Listen Viv, I'm sorry
about how I just spoke to you.

For your mam's sake I'll make sure
that you're covered, Caroline.

_

So, how can I help you lads?

Charma, you recently went to court
against your sister, Christine,

over the matter of . million
from your father's estate.

You told your sister
you were gonna make her pay

for contesting your father's will.

I made her pay. I won.

Last night a man forced entry

to your sister's house
and tried to r*pe her.

And you think that were me?
I'm alibi'd by about people

because last night I was picking up
no fewer than five industry awards.

And that's the first thing you say?
Not "How's Christine?"

If you and Christine were left
equal amounts by the same father,

on what grounds was the will contested?

Cos I had to issue a restraining
order against her.

In one night, Christine
spray-painted all my outdoor

vehicles with "thieving twat".

cars.

Which backfired on all of us,
sales staff and

their performances because
she didn't specify which twat.

Five different stencils she used!

One of them had reindeer antlers
on it, daft bitch.

Cos... Cos...
Cos it's like, February now.

OK. Listen, lads, I'm gonna
have to ask you to leave, now.

- So you entered her house?
- Not true.

And you used a password
on her computer, a password that

- she'd given you in ?
- Not true!

Your finger prints are all over
the spare bedroom and the desktop.

Listen! It wouldn't take
quid for my lawyer

- to zip your mouth so shut.
- Sir!

Where are you going?
PC Mitchell wasn't finished.

Yes, I stayed at her home while
my dad was still alive,

before she made herself the enemy!

And I've got a list of a dozen
witnesses who can corroborate that,

going back at least two years.

Of course my dabs are all over the place.

Presumably not in the last
eight weeks, though?

- Not by invitation, anyway?
- Course not, it had kicked off.

So how are your prints on a
brand-new track pad that she bought

only two weeks ago?

Better than that, mate,

you also sorta checked your bank
account whilst on her laptop,

just after you put her
name on the website.

You can delete search history
all you like to dodge the wife,

but we have means.

Whoops!

You stripped her of everything
for your father's money.

Wasn't that enough?

The information that you are about
to see will remain confidential

to the people in this room only
and no written reference anywhere.

Are we clear?

- Oh, and...
- With respect,

I'm busting my nuts here waiting

to see their faces, Ma'am,
so, can we get on?

This car hasn't been moved for weeks,

the attendant says
it's on a long stay ticket.

Cloned plates,
Beckett's name is nowhere near it.

There's very little to look at,

but the interior is
crawling with Beckett's DNA.

We found this receipt scrunched
under the passenger seat

for provisions from the -Elevensis
nearest the car park,

cash sale, there's no traceable card.

So, footage from said
branch of -Elevensis.

Focus on the female with sunglasses
and a hoodie

when she reachesfor her purse...

- Caroline McCoy!
- Jesus.

The receipt found in the footwell
means we can directly connect her

to Beckett from
the contents of that sale.

No way are we going to court
with this. Only this.

- But, it short cuts everything!
- Yeah, it does.

No, she'll just say that her bag
just got lifted, off-camera.

That's not what I'm on about.
If we ask McCoy to meet Beckett

where they usually met,

and she shows up with that k,
we'll have her on all counts.

She's needs to see Beckett to
believe him. With moving parts.

McCoy is doing a public Q&A
at the townhall later.

The crowd'll mean
she can't get too close.

Could do if you wanted to.
I got the lads at the mortuary

to load him with a latex
and formaldehyde combo.

You could probably literally get

Beckett to bend over backwards for you.

Right, these two we know
as regular line-up volunteers.

But, with a good make-up artist...

- I know one.
- I know one.

Yeah, mine's already working for us.

Ma'am, Sarge, get over here.

What?

Terry!

Ah! I tried to find you.

I thought you were still interrogating?

Sorry, Sir, can I get
my phone back, please?

- Sir's ran out of juice, Ma'am.
- I was after saying, "Ta-da!"

Me and my lad just nailed about
decent convictions on them.

- Motive?
- Oh, same-old, same-old. Born shite.

Oh, and listen, I used all my juice
trying to clear out the backlog of

messages and e-mails from all of you lot,

most of 'em saying not enough.

Now, I've told Madam Mayor that it
was an embarrassing lapse of

communication that won't happen again.

Come on. Jonah, how quietly
can you get us in there?

Who's us, Ma'am?

Terry has just sh*t into the lavs
with potentially several

strands of information.

Now, I need to know who
he's talking to on your phone.

He... He's, um...

knocking one out.

Who in God's name cracks
a r*pe case and goes for a wank?

- Phone... Two minutes.
- What the...!

GROANING

MOANING

FEMALE VOICE: 'Oh! Oh!'

Oh!

GROANING

CLATTERING

Argh!

CHOKING

THUMP

Oh, f*ck! Quick. Terry's collapsed.

He's stuck in the cubicle!
Somebody get an ambulance!

Where's the defibrillator?
We think he's having a heart att*ck!

- In the middle of a wank!
- Hiya, Trish, it's Tegan.

We've got a medical
emergency on our floor.

Terry Taylor, -odd-year-old male,
somebody said he's having an

heart att*ck, so just get
the guys to step on it, yeah?

Oi! Are you not coming?

If he d*ed during a wank, he's
still gonna have his knob out. No.

He's not breathing. No pulse.
Hurry up with that de-fib.

Cut that.

Can we cover that up before
we zap him, just in case?

- All clear.
- 'Stand clear.'

- Shocking.
- 'Shock delivered.'

- Right, what's going on?
- He's pulling through.

We're not yet sure what's
medically pertaining, but...

...he dropped like a sack of
sh*t knocking one out!

Oh, you're not making this up!

You couldn't know that unless
someone else was there.

He had his iPad with him, still
linked to a police fetish site.

Not an ounce of imagination.

Truth be told,
I put him to good work today,

and I bet it was a full eight hour
day that popped his nuts.

Oh, you put a senior officer
to good work?

Yes! To very good results, two
solid convictions.

Oh, fine. I will remember how you
used that phrase, Inspector.

Listen, whatever we end up doing,
no-one's going near me hair.

Best check if she's here.

You all right?

Hey, you're shaking.

I badly need this to work, Spike.

- I want...
- Hey, we.

We need to string Caroline McCoy up,

or I'm taking her out myself.

We, Dinah.

I can't stop thinking about Joy.

Hey, hey.

Hey.

I can't stop thinking about you.

Welcome back, Ma'am.

Same from all of us, Ma'am.

Despite the circumstances.

Yeah, Dinah was just reminding me
why we're giving this all we've got.

Full house!
Spike, this is Ginny the Spinner.

All right, let's get cracking, love.

You can do what you want with my hair.

- All right.
- Within reason.

Look at this e-mail. That's Caroline
McCoy's running order for tonight.

She's virtually written Terry's
script for him.

It's a lousy script.
He's never sounded this bright.

Oh, I love this bit
"As heckler will be evicted,

Caroline McCoy will call him back
and address his questions."

f*cking fraud! Her mother'll be
turning in her grave.

Yeah, but look at what this was
all set up for.

She's going to disband every council
member

and get them to reapply for their jobs.

McCoy already sees Beckett's
demands as credible,

but we are going to plant
Spike-as-Beckett in the town hall.

Now the receipt we can peg on her,

as long as she turns up at the
correct, undisclosed, location.

And there's no reason to think she won't.

Your team needs to know if this
backfires, that's the lot of us.

Which dress for tonight?

I'm inspired by the red.

Fine, but I'm not going to sit and
watch you trying on clothes again.

It's like severe delays on a
long-haul flight.

I'm going to take this to Terry myself,

once the lab have copied
the sh*t out of it.

Miller'll be three times faster,
with ten times less risk of

yakety-yak from any fifth columnists.

Stuart's had a call.

Someone's come through with my phone.

- Oh. Decent reward?
- Well, I offered quid.

I only meant ten!


Now you go and get your phone,
while Spike's getting Deadpooled.

I want you back here for the briefing
an hour before kick-off, yeah?

Yeah. Thanks, Ma'am.

Let's smash it!

'Scuse me! 'Scuse me?

Oh, hello!

Hiya. Are you Ruby?
If you are, I'm Tegan.

I think we spoke on the phone?
About my phone?

Oh, of course, I'm sorry. Yes, it's here!

We've just found out we're being
audited in the morning.

First time the shredder's
been used in eight months!

Oh, I had no idea you were a policeman.

I'd have never come out with that!

Oh, don't worry about it,
honestly. Relax.

Open the card. Have a drink on me.

Oh no, I didn't find it.

It was Mr Forster, the boss.

But don't offer him money,
he's a born again.

You'll make his day just turning up.

Straight through those double doors,
first set on the left.

Right, yeah.

Sorry love, police or not, I can't
let any transmitting devices

through, else we'll send all the
printers into orbit!

Eight thousand flyers for a
village fete in Tabley,

population, like, eight.

Even car keys can block the
frequency sometimes!

Yep, that's it.

Oi! Ruby!

Oi!

You know what? I never forget a
face, you two-faced bitch!

Who cares?!

What?! Oi!

Oi!

TEGAN BANGS ON THE WINDOW

Let me out!

Madam Mayor?

Just a second. What's going on, Viv?

Terry's in intensive care.

Oh, my God, it's not Beckett?!

Why Beckett?

Well, he's threatened everyone else!

Embolism. I've been asked to take
over your security.

Well, you can't!

I meant... you've got too much on
your plate.

Probably, yeah, but I came to be
near you.

I helped you dodge the last
b*llet, didn't I?

Well, Terry has promised me armed police.

Oh, they're under cover and in position.

Don't you sweat,
if Beckett shows his face,

I've asked them to aim low.

They can blow his bollocks off, but
I want his gob intact

so you and me both can hear what
he's got to say for himself.

Your mam's on my shoulders,
so you're well covered.

Yeah, thanks.

Showtime, kid.

WOMAN: If you'd all start
taking your seats, please.

Yeah.

APPLAUSE

Thank you, thank you.

He looks like me in Ibiza in .
He looks like a Thunderbird.

Oh, you look grotesque.

I'm going to do what needs doing, I
cross my heart.

APPLAUSE

Take her breath away.

That's the cue, go! Go, now, go! Go!

This Q&A will be streaming live,
folks, so tweet any questions too.

But nothing rude, I know what
you're like!

PHONE VIBRATES _

Apologies, ladies and gentlemen.

She's had a bit of medical news today.

Use your imaginations and cut
her some slack.

What happened up there,
I've tried to find you?

Give us a call back, will you,
sweetheart?

Jonah and Stuart will be in position,
she's headed towards Beckett.

We need to get there way before
she does! Let's go!

_

PHONE VIBRATES

Viv?

OVER RADIO: DI Deering
to PC O'Connell, where are you?

In position ahead of McCoy, Ma'am.

Stuart, Tegan's been kidnapped.

I'll send a unit to drive
you back to base.

SIREN WAILS

SHE PANTS

Where's Tegan from anyway?

It's not Bangladeshi, cos we googled it.

All right, Faye, whatever this is,
you can stop it right now.

Were you just pretending to be
Welsh to sound invisible?

- Didn't work, did it?
- My mum's Welsh. Blue-white Welsh.

Listen, Faye,
you need to think this through.

Your dad's not.

You weren't.

That's you, back in the day, right?

How come you stopped wearing
the letterbox?

You lay a finger on me,
and you could be facing life.

If I get sent down.

But it won't be for a crime
I didn't commit,

like murdering some half-dead Jew.

You were banged to rights on that,

and you shouldn't have been so sloppy...

Of all the endings that I've had
nightmares about,

this wasn't one of them. Being
beaten to death by some fat bird.

Come on, Cameron. You're up first.

Did she have to hear my name?

What's it matter? She's getting
torched with the rest of it.

Oh, and when you get to paradise,
wait for Professor Miller.

Tell him I said thank you
for getting me sent down,

he's really made it worth my while.

- Cos he's next.
- Come here!

You need to know why this was sent to me.

Faye Caddy took her, I know it.

How? She's in prison on a m*rder charge.

She was released on bail last night.

Her lawyer said the only evidence
against her was forensic.

And that Faye believed the evidence
was forensically tainted.

Ma'am, she may have had a point.

- She threatened my kid, Viv.
- Oh!

Viv, all the...

We need an APB on Faye
Caddy and all of Albion.

Ma'am, we need to abort Operation McCoy.

PC Thompson's life is at stake
and I cannot lose another.

Agreed.

Viv, wait! McCoy smelled a rat

soon as we told her
Beckett was still alive.

She's been years ahead of us
since day one,

who's to say she hasn't pulled this
herself just to get us off her back?

If we don't get her now, we never will.

Stay on her, I'll find Tegan.

Miller, go with Dinah.

No way would Faye kidnap a cop,

- she doesn't even know McCoy!
- Just listen to her!

McCoy's set this up as a distraction.

Faye was released yesterday

with this judge's name
all over the paperwork.

Den, please,
we both know what Faye's capable of.

Who's left for me to screw over?

This is literally a "stay out of
jail card" signed by DCI Merchant,

saying you helped us catch Beckett,

nail the Mayor and save a police
officer's life.

Both your records will be
sealed by a judge.

You'll get to know your kid.

Our cousin, Cameron,
got out of Strangeways last week.

He's devoted to Faye.

His dad had an industrial estate.

Cameron got it when he d*ed,
it's got over factories,

but if Faye's doing invisible
sh*t, she'd do it in there.

FAYE: Go on, Cam, hurry up!

TEGAN: Get off!

Right! Put it in its place.

f*ck!

Come on, Cameron!

Cameron!

What are you f*cking doing?
Stop dicking about! Come on.

Cameron, come on!

Dinah, two kids coming up on the
right. They look like spotters.

Be careful.

OVER RADIO: I said spotters. Go past.

What's she trying to pool?
They are not stupid.

- Sorry, mate. Did you call in a leak?
- What?

Gas leak? This postcode.

- No?!
- There's a busted mains round here.

If you can't smell too good.
Stay away from the drains, mainly.

- Which drains?
- Any!

He's calling Faye!

Good call, Sarge.

- MOBILE RINGS
- Yeah? How many are there?

Right, just keep your eye on her for me.

I'd want to see both hands.

It's not actually moving.

Find a natural way to show me both.
Then she'll know she's safe.

How's the lighting look, if I do that?

- It's perfect.
- Actually, yeah, that is perfect.

Ma'am, she's less than two klicks away.

OK, folks! It's now or never!

Can't you see the signal? Move!

Stuart, that isn't Faye, it's just
the mast, her phone's pinging off.

Cut her throat.

Viv, without another call to Faye's
phone, we can't lock her location.

If McCoy's behind all this,
get her to phone Faye.

We need another ping to that number,
or God help Tegan.

You k*lled our f*cking mate, did ya?

McCoy's here. Action stations.

Come on.

You can f*ck off, I'm not getting in!

Caroline place that g*n on the
ground and step away!

- I said drop the g*n!
- Drop the g*n! On the floor.

What the f*ck is it?

That's bits of the real Beckett.
Who d*ed when you thought he did.

This is entrapment!

Right!

Now they will let me smash
your lying teeth in

if I felt like it which I do.

You had Faye Caddy released
to cause mayhem.

Faye has taken one of my
officers as hostage.

You didn't intend the first cop to die.

No doubt that'll prove part
of your defence.

But a second cop?

Call Faye Caddy, now.

Where you going?

I'll throw it! You two get behind
her, you'll be sound.

Move!

What the f*ck are you doing?!
Idiots! Useless!

Arghhh! My f*cking eyes!

Argh, argh!

f*ck!

I'll drop it.

Right, so drop it!

That was the first photo
that a guy ever took of me.

Some white guy.

Said he liked my eyes.
So I give him me number.

And then he spat in me eyes,
and said they'd got me number.

So, yeah, I ditched the letterbox
and then went back to my mum's name.

Now you don't know
what you're looking at.

Cos I haven't for a long while.

MOBILE RINGS

We've got her, let's go!

Faye, you've just given us your location

and you've given yourself years.

Now you could be when you get out
and if you harm my officer,

you're looking at double.

SIRENS WAIL IN THE DISTANCE

Get it up, get it up!

Who's turn is it say cuckoo now?

- Somebody tell her.
- It's diesel, not petrol.

What? No! Argh, argh!

When Dennis finds out what you are,
he'll cut that baby out of ya.

Who do you think told us about
Cameron's inheritance?

Dennis knows, Faye.

And the only thing he'll be cutting
is his son's cord when he's born.

No! No, wait, wait!

Argh, wait! He stitched me up!

All previous charges are dropped
because these supersede them.

The only evidence going to
trial Faye, is you.

Ow, ow!

- Oh, my God, where were you?
- I was on my way, and I'm here.

- Miller?
- Tegan, I'm...

Words fail me, I'm...

If I could do what you can do,
I'd have done the same.

I'm so sorry.

You were right, I'm a knob.

A selfish knob.

Thanks!

Good luck. Call me?

Thank you too. Probably won't.

Ma'am. You know that kid, the boy?

How old was he?

He tried to r*pe you, Tegan.

These are not kids.

Dr Peep is on her way in.
She's all yours.

SHE SOBS

Stuart said that we got McCoy
banged to rights? So...

...there'll be drinks, which,
Dr Peep can never avoid, so...

...I don't want to talk about sh*t.

Now, you sup up,
and you come to my office.

When you're ready.

I held you literally minutes
after you were born.

You were the size of a turkey
and you didn't make a peep.

I'd never seen anything so new
in all my life.

What you after, Viv? Remorse? Tears?

I'll squirt plenty.

I want my daughter back.

You can f*ck off with that,

I was never your daughter.

That was never the plan.

Joy's death was out of my hands,
you know that.

From where I'm standing,
it's all over 'em.

I thought you'd love me being Mayor.

I'd have had your back.

Truly.

You're not going to see daylight
for a very long time, Caroline.

I hope you can feel your mam
on your shoulders?

Cos I can.

Do you know the first chapter
of the book I'll write

when I've got any spare time, is you?

Starting all of this.

By pushing me into a b*llet
that was meant to miss.

I'll Beryl Cook you.

I know you lot think I've only ever
read William Blake, but...

Hold up, Spike.

"Drive your cart and your plough
over the bones of the dead."

Viv, Blake was a manic-depressive,
pick another, quick.

It's not a suggestion, it's an
imperative if we all want to move on.

Go.

PORCELAIN SHATTERS, THEY YELL

We're going to spend this on us.

For Joy.

But first, this is on me.

When I say it's about leadership,
that's not about me.

We've all led each other to each other.

ALL: To each other.

Well done.

Keep Britain tidy, folks!
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