01x04 - Party of Peril/Smooth Opera-tor

[bunniefuu]

♪ Look at that sun Look at that sky ♪

♪ Look at my sweater vest I look so fly ♪

♪ Look at that mailbox Look at that tree ♪

♪ It's about as Beautiful as it can be ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Today is gonna be exceptional ♪

♪ Never boring even for a minute ♪

♪ It's my world and We're all livin' in it ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

♪ Never boring even for a minute ♪

♪ It's my world and We're all livin' in it ♪

Yeah, it's a truck load of ice cream.

What's the worst that could happen?

Yeah, cake's all loaded up, we'll be there.

What's the worst that could happen?

Yeah. We're loading the dynamite onto the plane now.

What's the worst that could happen?

[grunting]

[grunts] No problem.

I've got a dry change of clothes in my locker.

[grunts]

See you in a bit.

So, tomorrow is Milo's birthday.

-Is he having a party? -Probably not.

The last time he did, it did not end well.

[horse neighing]

[fireman] Hold it there! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

After that, they only invited immediate family and me.

Well, that's sad.

Doesn't he miss having a big birthday party?

-[cell phone rings] -Hi, Mrs. Murphy.

Hi, honey. Do you think we should invite Zack tomorrow?

And if so, does he have proper coverage?

-He's right here. -Hi Milo's mom.

I overheard, and I'm fully insured.

Um, just a thought, but is it okay if we invite some kids from school?

It could be a surprise.

Hmm. Let's check with Martin. He's still at work.

Hi, dear.

Melissa and Zack were thinking of a surprise party for Milo tomorrow.

How is our liability coverage?

Oh, better idea. Not at our home.

We could do it at the Play Park.

Yeah, the go-kart track!

It'll be perfect.

They already have all the party supplies.

Fire extinguishers, helmets, first-aid kits...

Plus, they're fully insured.

So, we can invite people?

-[Brigette] Sure. -Great! Surprise party.

We'll have to keep him busy all afternoon so he doesn't suspect.

We'll handle that. See you tomorrow.

That's weird, nobody pressed the button.

[grunts]

Oh! Hey, Milo.

Hey, guys! Did you change?

Yeah, this one's all dry.

I have, like, 30 of these.

Surprise party for Milo.

Surprise party for Milo.

Surprise party for Milo.

Surprise party for Milo.

Surprise party for Milo.

Won't it be dangerous?

You're 100 feet underwater right now swimming with eels.

What's your point?

[Melissa] So, Mort, you coming to Milo's party?

As long as your dad's there.

-He's a paramedic, right? -Right.

[Zack] Surprise party for Milo!

I don't know. My risk tolerance only goes so high.

-Whoa! -We'll all be wearing helmets.

-It'll be fun. -Okay, we're in.

-[screams] -I like parties.

The border in this photo is a millimeter thicker on the left than on the right.

You have a split infinitive in the caption.

I don't know, Melissa. Things get sort of messy around Milo.

You know how I like order.

I understand, Amanda. I'm trying to figure out the streamer situation, but I guess it doesn't matter if there's really a cohesive color scheme, and the balloons I'm ordering are all different sizes and shapes, but I can't imagine that it's gonna be a problem...

All right, I'll organize it.

"Cohesive color scheme" doesn't matter.

Don't think I don't know what you just did.

Yo, Milo. What up?

Hey, Melissa!

Just installed the new asteroid early warning system.

Oh! What's with the arm? Sprained it.

Problem is, my dad has an important package to be picked up at the mall.

I can't do it with this arm.

I know it's your birthday and all, but any chance you can pick it up and drop it off at this address?

Sure! I'd be happy to help.

Think of all the times you helped me when I had a sprained arm, or a leg, or a spleen, or a tongue, or a finger... Twice.

Or a clavicle or a ribcage, or a metatarsal... Thanks, Milo.

No problem.

Nice acting job.

I had to bust out the doe eyes.

Use only in case of emergency.

What if he shows up too early for the party?

I'm way ahead of you. Remember Elliot, the crossing guard?

Be sure to watch your step, and I mean that two ways.

I mean, watch your step and watch your step.

[cell phone rings] Elliot here.

Is this Elliot who monitors local safety violations?

Well, "safety first" is certainly one of my six safety-related mottos.

I'd like to report a violation.

I just saw Milo Murphy's bike, and the back wheel is a definite safety hazard.

It might fly off any second.

You had me at "Milo Murphy's bike."

You're on my radar, Milo Murphy.

[beeping]

No wait, no! That's a flock of birds. Wait, wait.

-There. -[beeping]

Now you're on my radar, Milo Murphy.

Stop, Milo!

Elliot, you might wanna duck.

Huh? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm?

-No, I mean, you might want this duck. -[quacks]

I found him wandering in traffic earlier.

I figured, you know, with you being the crossing guard...

-Safety czar. -Safety czar, you might be able to get him somewhere safe.

Well, there is a little pond right over there.

Don't move. Do not go anywhere.

-[quacking furiously] -[shuddering]

[screams]

-[quacking continues] -[whimpering]

No! [shuddering]

I have reason to believe your vehicle may be unsafe.

I'm going to have to inspect it.

Okay. But you might wanna duck first.

Don't be ridiculous.

You couldn't possibly have another duck back...

No, I meant because of the tire.

Just for that, Murphy, you're getting the full inspection.

Well, I did my own inspection this morning, but I guess you can never be too safe.

Oh, yes, you can... not be too safe.

Do I have to remove my shoes?

This is perfect. The track makes everyone wear helmets and fireproof jumpsuits.

Oh, great! For once, we won't look out of place.

Ah! Thanks for helping us set up, guys.

Time for our checklist.

Fire-retardant netting, check.

Radiation screens, check.

Glow in the dark T-shirts in case of power outage, check.

Let's get to work.

All right, Mr. Murphy, you passed. Barely.

-Cool. See ya! -Straighten that helmet!

I've got my super safety senses trained on you from now on.

And I mean that two ways!

Actually, it's just one.

-[quacking] -[shrieks]

Your party planner has arrived with a bubble machine.

Chaos is over, order begins.

You, cards on every table.

Color coded by the age, gender and cake preference.

You, with the funny hair, these banners should be all five feet from the ground.

You, nail biter, make sure all the utensils are parallel to each other.

Step to it, people.

And we brought mattresses to hide under in case of falling debris.

Plus, we can wrap ourselves in them for duck att*cks.

[rings bicycle bell]

Wow, that was convenient.

All malls should have drive-through windows.

Hmm. Kind of a light day.

Okay, everyone, clear the perimeter.

And Murphy's Law counter-measures engaged.

[controller beeps]

[alarm blaring]

He's a block away, T-minus 20 seconds.

Roll in the decoy.

I'm planning on staying in this bush the whole party.

Amanda scares me.

Industrial Industries.

"Serving the industrial needs of industry for over 50 years."

This looks like the place.

[all] Happy birthday! [cheering]

Wow, you guys! A real birthday party!

-Got you! -You used the doe eyes.

And they've got go-karts.

[boy] They have karts? Let's go.

This is great, guys. Let's go!

♪ No time for trivial things ♪

♪ Gotta get up and get out into the world ♪

♪ Find a spot in the middle of kings, gonna go into the city in a whirl ♪

-♪ I gotta go ♪ -[tires screeching]

♪ Oh, I'm Mr. Go ♪

♪ They call me Mr. Go ♪

[tires screeching]

[grunting]

♪ Oh, but you know I've gotta go ♪

♪ Gotta get gone, get gone, gone ♪

[all screaming]

♪ Go ♪ Did you see that? That was awesome!

Uh-oh! I think that was Amanda's bubble machine.

And we have all of our limbs.

Well, except for one-armed Willy.

It's a nickname. I have both my arms.

I am missing one leg, though.

[all] [chanting] Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake!

Milo and candles, can't be too careful.

I'm afraid we have a problem, dear.

Diogee got into the cake and ice cream.

Sorry, Milo, the cake got ruined.

Though cake and ice cream would've been nice, I already got my wish.

I had a birthday party and nothing went horribly wrong.

Oh, balloons!

[bubbling]

[Driver] Huh?

[tires screeching]

-[driver yells] -[tires screeching]

[driver grunts]

[expl*si*n]

This is the best birthday ever.

Ice cream and cake.

Correction, this is better than the best birthday ever.

-[all cheering] -[ducks quacking]

Quick, everyone wrap yourselves in the mattresses.

There he is.

Hi, Milo.

I can't believe we're getting extra credit just for going to an opera.

You ever sit through an opera before? We're earning it.

Oh! There's Amanda.

Amanda, huh?

Oh, no, no, it's just that...

She's someone we know from school, you know?

How's my cast? One of your best.

Excuse me.

-Hey, Amanda. -Milo!

Uh, I mean, hi, Milo.

[chuckles awkwardly] What are you doing here?

Extra credit for Mrs. White's class.

You can sit with us in the center if you want.

I bought an extra seat in case mine got destroyed.

How would your seat get destroyed?

It's best not to speculate.

Okay, that's why I'm, well...

I'm a little nervous.

What I love about opera is that it's so well-rehearsed and predictable.

And the thing is, there's just so much that could go wrong in this general area.

-Oh, that! -[bone cracks]

Oh, don't worry! Murphy's Law or not, the show must go on.

I hope so because it's just that I have...

-Milo. -Huh? Oh!

Because I'm using up three of my scheduled enjoyment hours for this.

You schedule time to enjoy things?

How else am I going to fit it in?

Wow! Every minute of your day is accounted for.

"Wednesday, 10:50 to 10:55, peel and eat an orange."

This opera takes exactly two hours and 11 minutes, plus, I set aside an extra 1.5 minutes, for an ovation, just in case it's really good.

My enjoyment hours are very precious to me, nothing can go wrong.

Don't worry, Amanda, I'll be there to help.

Oh, that's great.

You realize that you could shave a good three minutes of your orange peeling time if you switch to tangerines.

Noted.

So what's with the big ugly tie?

This is an ascot.

The last time I wore something that big, they brought me a lobster.

What I'm saying is, it looks like a lobster bib.

When you're in a restaurant and you order a lobster...

I get it! Excuse me.

May I have some pistachios, please?

I'm sorry, my good man, but it seems that we're fresh out of pistachios at the moment.

Yeah, we're all out.

But, aren't those pistachios right behind you?

Yes, well, uh, you see...

Those are display pistachios.

We're not allowed to sell display pistachios.

Wouldn't you prefer a rubbery-like woodland creature to chew on instead, hmm?

Actually, I'd really prefer some pistachios, please.

I think he's hypnotized himself.

Fine. I'll give you four.

It's righty-tighty, leftie-loosie.

I know how dispensers work.

Uh, what's the problem? Are you guys new at this?

That's a rather presumptuous accusation.

Yes. It's not like we tied up the guy who usually does this and stashed him in the basement.

Man, that's a long way to go for a night off, Bob!

[shrugs]

Here, give me a boost, there's gotta be a lock or something up here.

-Would you please hurry up? -[Dakota] I don't see anything.

Well, what do you know? It's a righty-loosie dispenser.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Oh, no! Hold on.

[crashing]

You had one job.

Yeah, you had the same job.

I think you'll like this opera.

It's about a morally conflicted crime boss who's seeing a therapist.

Whatever. Extra credit's extra credit.

[music playing] Oh, it sounds like they're ready to start.

-Where's Milo? -I better go find him.

We got pistachios all over the place.

Are you bragging or should I get a broom?

-How is that even bragging? -I'll get a broom.

♪ How dare a Baritone come into our deli ♪

♪ He's lucky I don't punch him in the belly... ♪ Ah, those lights up there, they seem a little loose to me.

Ah, they'll be all right.

Unless someone accidentally leans on that backdrop too hard, hitting that fireman's a*, causing it to fall on the floor, startling that rat who runs into that lamp, causing it to fall over, knocking into those tie-offs, causing that rope to come loose.

[Steve] Wait a minute. Whoa, whoa!

How could that lamp hit those ropes?

[Phil] No, no, no, not that lamp.

That lamp and those ropes.

[Steve] Oh, I see. What about that sandbag over there?

[Phil] Not important. Anyway, if all that happens, then I suppose you'd have a problem.

Ah, good enough, I guess.

Or that rope could just slip off 'cause I didn't really tie it very tight.

Say, where'd you get that?

I got a stash in the back. Come on.

♪ You know, that Baritone thinks he's gonna tell us... ♪ Ooh! Better make sure those lights don't fall and knock out those actors.

That would seriously mess with Amanda's enjoyment hours.

♪ ...I hear you shaking ♪

♪ I'll box his ears and All will hear his ringing ♪

-♪ We hear you, boss ♪ -[man] Yes?

Oh, no! Zack, look.

♪ Then he's going to wake up with a horse? ♪ I don't remember this opera having a dog in it.

Diogee, go home.

[whimpers]

This is different than the last time I saw it.

[inhales, exhales]

Deep cleansing breath.

Don't you yoga me.

♪ He's singing on our turf ♪

♪ You know, I think he wants to fight us ♪

♪ If he doesn't watch his step ♪

♪ I'm gonna give him laryngitis ♪ Milo, what are you doing?

I'm making sure nothing goes wrong back here.

Amanda's scheduled enjoyment hours don't just grow on trees, you know.

She only has the two hours, 12 minutes and change, if there's an ovation.

Yeah, I think that ovation ship may have sailed.

I just hope nothing else goes wrong.

And that ship is sailing right now.

♪ He'll be sleeping with a mackerel ♪

♪ This is w*r! ♪

♪ That's not your call to make ♪

-♪ A music w*r ♪ -♪ This is a big mistake ♪

-♪ We're going to w*r ♪ -[woman shrieks]

-♪ Why can't you see? ♪ -♪ A music w*r ♪

♪ Stop singing over me ♪

♪ This is w*r A music w*r ♪ Oh, no!

Zack, flip that switch back.

No, the other switch.

♪ w*r ♪

[sighs] And no one's the wiser.

You're a calm blue ocean.

♪ That baritone's a bother ♪

♪ He's not singing in my key ♪

♪ And now I've got this music w*r ♪

♪ It's such anxiety... ♪ Hey, Milo, look at the chandelier, it's slipping.

Well, that's not good. I'm on it.

♪ It keeps me wide awake at Night and gives me panic att*cks ♪

♪ So I've come here to your office ♪

♪ To tell you all my thoughts ♪

♪ There's also issues With my mother... ♪

♪ I'm afraid that's all The time we've got ♪ Oh, boy! That was probably my bad.

Uh-oh!

[glass shatters]

[orchestra continues]

I better get out of here before something else...

♪ Come on... ♪

[music resumes]

♪ Come on... ♪

[music resumes]

♪ Come on... ♪

[music resumes] ♪ Come on... ♪

-[screaming] -[quacking]

[music resumes]

-♪ Come on... ♪ -[rumbling]

[clicks tongue]

[cat meows]

♪ Come on, Baritone, It's time for a fight ♪

♪ Step out of the shadows And into the light ♪

[tight-lipped] That was your cue. We haven't got all night.

Mr. Baritone, you're on.

I'm not going out there.

[engine starts]

[vehicle drives away]

[gasping]

The show must go on.

♪ I'm over here ♪

♪ You're shorter than I remember ♪

♪ It's the physique That I was cursed with ♪

♪ I'll admit that I'm confused ♪

♪ You're not the one That I rehearsed with ♪

♪ I think we've gone off book ♪

♪ Now, I believe this Scene we're botching ♪

♪ But I feel we should go on ♪

♪ Because there's all These people watching ♪

♪ So I guess that You're a baritone ♪

♪ And now we have to fight ♪

♪ I'm a Mezzo-soprano, And it all ends tonight ♪

♪ Actually, you sing between A tenor and a bass ♪

♪ And that makes you a baritone ♪

♪ Your hostility's misplaced ♪

♪ Say what? ♪

♪ Mezzo-soprano is your family name ♪

♪ But you all sing in baritone ♪

♪ That makes you all the same ♪

♪ Wait a minute Mezzo-soprano Is a family name ♪

♪ But we all sing in baritone ♪

♪ That makes us all the same ♪

-You're right! -♪ Mezzo-soprano is our family name ♪

♪ But we all sing in baritone ♪

♪ That makes us all the same. ♪

♪ We are all baritones ♪

-♪ Diogee, go home! ♪ -♪ [singing, indistinct] ♪

[audience cheering and applauding]

Whoo-hoo! That was amazing.

Bravo!

That was surprisingly entertaining.

And including the five-minute ovation, it was actually shorter than it usually is, so I've got time for a pizza!

That sounds like a plan, let's go.

Okay, let's go.

-Who knows what will happen there? -Don't push it.

♪ It's my world and We're all livin' in it ♪

♪ We're all livin' in it ♪

♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go ♪

♪ Oh, thanks, everybody That is so motivational ♪

♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ I'm not sitting here Watching the world turn ♪

♪ You know I'd rather spin it ♪

♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go ♪

♪ It's my world and We're all livin' in it ♪